#ive never written this much in my life

[lexithwrites]

just hit 30k in my jegulus fest fic,,,,im really proud of myself wow

#ive never written this much in my life #at least not a story #and i love this story so much #it means the world to me #i cant wait to share it with you guys and see everyone elses work eeeeee #the marauders #jegulus #james potter #regulus black

[soranker]

Favorite Trigun character?

teehee..... can u guess 🤪🙈

#have to work on hw again so will be answering more qs 👍 #this aint even CLOSE to half of all my drawings of him 🤣💀 #also fellas. we are nearing 1 whole year of drawing wolfwood.💀 #safe to say ive never drawn a single character this many times in my life before 🤣 I'M SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED BY IT #IT'S MY FIRST TIME HAVING A FAV CHARACTER THAT I CAN BOTH RELATE TO AND THAT'S. LIKE. ACTUALLY DEEP AND INTERESTINGLY WRITTEN LMFAO💀 #like i remember rly being hit by his worldview while reading trimax... i was like whoa........ he thinks just like me fr T_T #and on top of that he also has a really beautiful arc T_T trigun/trimax fr is set up in a way that's like. how could u NOT love this guy!!! #so yeah that's the super short version of why i lawvvv him so much SDJFGHAHA #i dont have a ton of time to get into it atm but i could literally talk about this guy for hours. oh my lord. my little pookie-boo.

[fear-no-mort]

loving it keep it coming

#usually ‘they cannot be normal about eachother or the whole universe explodes’ is just a funny exaggeration thing people like to say about- #-characters they like but with these two it is quite literally canonically true. the whole universe is forever stained because of how much- #rick and morty love eachother and how intense they are when it comes to eachouther #of course this is highly exaggerated but yeah #rick will hang out with this little guy and expose him to the whole world and be the only source of comfort in both that and his normal- #-life and then be surprised when that little guy doesn’t let go of him and wants to stay with him forever and never want him to replace him #and kf course only because morty did the same to rick. he saw everything able to be seen by human eyes and then after everything only then- #-he discovered the single greatest thing ever which is Morty My Grandson Morty :). and he absolutely broke ricks heart by the smallest- #-things and drove him crazy with just how much he adores him and wants him to live and would do and sacrifice anything and he wouldn’t just #-die for morty he does that every week. he’d LIVE for morty and that’s much harder for him #but hed do anything. how the hell did i end up rambling about them like this #ive written thousands of words about these fuckers just today alone i think its safe to say. #rick and morty #odieart #odiespeak

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

so im doing a preliminary translation course french-dutch in january which if i do it well enough i can do the real course starting september, and you dont need any official recognition of your level in either language they just say you have to master your working language (ie dutch here) well and that your passive knowledge of your source language has to be good, around at least b2

and, okay, ive been told i do set too high standards, but like, that feels,,,,,cheating isnt exactly the word but like. if i couldnt make the sentence, then how could i ever hope to translate it well into another language you know what i mean?

im glad, because my chances are way better to get my passive french to b2 than my active french before january, im probably already there, but like, im still gonna try to get my active french there too right?

like it just feels so.....precarious. to only have b2 and to dare to try and put a sentence into your own language? if i couldnt have made the sentence, then i would never think i can write it as correctly as possible in another language. honestly.

#maybe im just underestimating what b2 is but i dont think so #i know my written french is not there yet but i have no idea where it is. i havent been writing much #learning french is a process of me realising my french wasnt as good as i thought it was and my english is WAY BETTER than i thought it was #my written english is better than my written dutch #my spoken english is another question but my spoken dutch is also full of stammering and gaps so #i might just be being autistic there #i also dont speak english with my mouth like ever #so similar to how i thought my french was 'probably b1?' back in may or whatever (it wasnt) #i Think i can say english words #bc i can say them in my head #but my mouth is not used to them #i sound like ive never spoken an english word in my life #my written english tho #i know thats not exactly impressive since anyone on tumblr is doing fandom in english im hardly the only one but still #it would be way easier for my to translate french to english than to dutch #i need to get on that #crash course dutch literature this month

[ghostbustermelanieking]

funny fact about me getting into the x files that i don't think i've ever shared on here!! i was binging on netflix of course, and really only hung around on the wikipedia page for the first couple seasons, so i got through them relatively unspoiled. then in the middle of season 3, i decided to write my first review of the show on this stupid little WordPress blog i had back then (we don't have to talk about that), and when i posted it and tagged it on tumblr, i decided to go into the x files tag to see if anyone even still talked about this old show from the 90s... and holy shit, the tag was full of stuff, and i was SO hooked on this show, and SO desperately waiting for mulder and scully to get together, that i couldn't resist the new content!! i scrolled for hours and promptly spoiled... MOST... of the show for myself. i was in disbelief that the shoe never explicitly really gets mulder and scully together the way i was expecting

at the time, finishing my viewing of the show was kind of a drag once i got through like season 6 or 7, because i had spoiled every major emotional moment in the show for myself (i was like watching clips ahead on youtube like a horrible fan!), and i was so excited to get new episodes, to the point where things couldn't be spoiled bc i was watching stuff live. and then someone leaked the details of the shows finale on reddit

now, i think maybe me getting spoiled was a blessing in disguise. the first time, because i think it would've been a bummer to binge the whole show and discover i would only ever get crumbs (plus going into stuff like scully giving up william blind). the second because it gave me time to prepare for the finale and get to acceptance

but it's still so funny to me

and as much as i love the show from all angles, i don't think anything has ever felt as special as my blind binge of those first two seasons at age 14

#i think maybe that's why i had so much fun with the rewatch... was approaching it all from the same perspective #txf #it's funny how the show gets soooo messy and badly written and yet it has this golden quality... it pulls you I'm #Thinking about the years i loved the x files... it's all rose tinted to me. loving the x files was there for me even when personal stuff go #bad #and the busier i've gotten the less time i can spend to Fandom to writing to fic... ive been in fandoms since but never in the same capacit #four years of my life. most of my high school. It's insane #maybe rewatching the x files would fix me

[spider-man-2o99]

Just wanted to say that I have been thinking of you and pre-emptively empathizing with the nonsense you are no doubt being flooded with and the psychic damage it must be causing. Keep stanning the king ignore the weirdos <3

thankg u.,, i feel like ive been trapped in a fuckign . Torture Labyrinth these past coupl days . but. wwe will. We Will Yet Persist onwards w/ our hand on the left wall till we;re either out or at the center i swear 2 fucking GOD,

#talking tag #asks #th pain is forever the Horrors r unending the lack of media comprehension on all sides is Disappointin But Also My Goddamn Life I Guess lol #though i will say ppl in my inbox have actually been.. surprisingly polite overall? if not outright rather kind as a whole. um. post-atsv. #but. god. i have not Talked About so much of that movie because i kind of just. #..ok actually i realize this is gonna sound rude as hell lmao. but. hhaha i Kinda Just. was fool enough to Assume that everbody would yknow #like. Comprehend The Film yk yk yk. since it is a well-written movie that doesnt try to Hide any of what it;s abt? yk? #i come On Here onto tumblr dot bumblr and i make my stupid esoteric gddamn complaints abt 2099 Themes for Me Only so my head doesnt blow up #n silly ol me i really do like earnestly honestly in my Heart think. like. we all saw the same movie. right? mayb thingsll calm down. #but oh oh oh oh oh no no no No No. they do Not calm down they get So Much Worse. #and now hypothetical Internet Strangers might be Passing Judgement bcuz we look like an Apologist 4 assuming Everyone Knew Media Literacy #CHRIST. do people think i think mig was. like. In The Right. in atsv. no ive known he would be Wrong for years dudes. #why do yall think i was so low-key Disappointed he was placed in a role that couldve better suited. like. Superior Spider-Man. #public image. DING-DONGs. man he is Never Going To Be In Movies Again After This Hes An AU SPIDER-MAN FROM THE 90S. LORD! #i had SO MUCH FUN watching atsv!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i dont like the choices it made to put miguel in the situation that it did. Bizarre Thematic Changes to 2099 that Only I Care Abt. but like #that is SUCH a fuckin SMALL and insanely autistic nitpick like i earnestly loved the hell out of the film and its mig is-- #--Earnestly One Of His Better/Best Adaptations despite bein within the limited confines of th plot nd setting he is In & w/o his inner mono #..i just. Hate So Much That This Movies Version Of Miguel Will Be The Only One That Anybody Knows For The Next Seven Years At Least. yknow. #i lov watching that fuckers trainwreck of a slowmotion mental breakdown for two hours but the movie gave practically Zero Context 2 newbies #BTSV please save me BTSV please save me BTSV PLEASE save me PLEASE please please please PLEASE BTSV youre my last hope.... #(arthur clenching his fist meme) ppl r Already so shitty 2 ppl w/ Messy Symtptoms i could Handle losing MK but SM2099 means too much 2 me..

[good-beanswrites]

Summary: With a night alone to talk, Leon is determined to uncover the "real" Lukas.

Woo happy @nagamas to @mrmissmrsrandom !! This was super fun to write, I hope you enjoy :D

#fe echoes #fe lukas #fe leon #its a Crime how long its been since ive written lukas -- this was so nice to do :3 #and it was my first time writing leon! it made me really appreciate some smaller details of his character i never noticed before <3 #i reread the one you wrote for me all the time and it makes me so happy - i was glad to be able to attempt to return the favor this year! #i cant write anything steamy for the life of me (plus im a big ace lukas fan) but i had a ton of fun with some symbolism #something something taking off layers of clothing while also taking down emotional walls #so feel free to interpret things with as much/little physicality as you want 😂 #happy holidays!! #fanfic #nagamas 2023

[cinnabeat]

the idea that teachers would make new transfer students stand up and like introduce themselves or whatever is soo fake bc i had a friend who transfered mid semester into my school and specifically one of my classes and not only did the teacher not force her to introduce herself but i didnt even know she transferred at all for like a good couple months of our friendship

#i also didnt know her name bc she kind of just appeared #but i wasnt the most observant in high school mostly bc i didnt care #and i was kind of dragged into a well established friend group so i was just like yeah ok i guess we're friends #i was too embarrassed to ask what her name was #tbh at this point i couldnt tell you if anyone actually told me her name like explicitly #her name was mentioned many times in front of me of course but like. i need to consciously be aware to remember something #and a name drop in the middle of a group convo is not a time my for my brain to get out of autopilot mode #i mean i also dont remmebe much of high school either #hilariously enough the most i remember abt highschool is incidents ive had with teachers #shout out to my one teacher that gave me a zero in a lab report bc i 'plagiarized' it #cuz no eleventh grader can write that advanced #and i was like ive literally written like that all my life you can literally check my essays for english class #why would i plagiarize this #and then when she was like fine ill believe you for now (bitch??) and gave me a B on it anyways #i hated her #ohhh and my chem teacher #she was so rancid i hated her so much #ooh who else did i hate......MY SPANISH TEACHER #i will never forgive her for giving me a D in spanish. bitch im a native speaker #and then had the audacity to ask me why i wasnt aware of homework and i was like cuz you never post it online AND im not the only one who fo #forgets why arent you bitching at everyone else #i swear i hated someone else who was it........ #i had a geudge against the new peincipal and his horrendous graduation plans but it ended up not mattering anyways cuz of covid #drivethru graduation lmao ✌️ #michi tag #not to talk abt highschool again LMAO

[beautifel]

i. hate that i cant ignore any longer how fucked up i am

#ask 2 tag idk what to tag this but its negative. idk if i’m hormonal or whatever. it’s just that i’m so extremely emotional lately #like i always havebeen but it’s insane lately and i know some of the reasons but i have no idea what to do abt it. which is bad #i wish i knew how to confront …it all. im so avoidant it is genuinely pathetic #and even if i wanted to confront anything iwouldnt know how… n how to tell ppl around me #the pains ive taken to ignore my issues over the yrs n by that i mean suppress the knowledge that they even exist Lmao it is so pathetic #let alone the pains ive taken to hide from other ppl that which im suppressing. and to hide how badly i cope with anything #like any problem at all not just things that have anything to do with The Thing #i finally told my girlfriend about something i never thought id ever say out loud to anyone n it was so hard #the whole convo was so hard bc shes dealing with so much too and shes been getting help for 3 yrs n i know #with her baggage of trauma a relationship is one of the hardest things #n ive never ever regretted our relationship but with the things we are both dealing wtih. or rather not dealing with in my case #it is so . hard.. and i feel like ive been so unfair bc i havent been getting help even tho i need it. and she has. #the sheer irony of me refusing to get help or even admit 2 myself i need it even tho im literally about to be the person who helps others #this cannot go on lmao. the only thing im sure about is that i wanna spend my life with her but with everything tht we have on our plate #its so.. unsure i feel so powerless . i cannot change the past i cant change either of our previous experiences #its so unfair how we risk losing the best thing that ever happened bc of things out of our control #ive genuinely never been more scared of anything than i am of the idea of losing this relationship #we had such a deep conversation today and it was necessary and good but god we’re fucked up people #so i .contacted the uni psych today finally but im so fucking scared and idk what to even say when i get there #ive never until today said it out loud ive never even written it down anywhere

[hella1975]

i hate my town i hate the people in it i hate the shame that consumes us all i hate that every failure might as well be posted in the square because everyone knows everyone i hate that my grandparents are here and i hate that my mother came back for them i hate that the kids are dying and no one cares i hate that every good memory has a bad memory right next door like sam's house around the corner from my childhood home i hate the body they pulled from the river i hate the memory of hearing yellow by coldplay at my cousin's funeral because all i could think was that it was too modern for the situation but then he was only seventeen so it makes sense i hate that i was seventeen too and all the boys i knew were there his friends that were supposed to be the tough guys the scary guys i hate that i pretended not to see them sobbing i hate that everything smells of cigarettes here i hate the politics i hate the people i used to love that dont even smile at me on the street i hate that the girl who called me a slut works at my favourite bar i hate every alley and hidden shortcut and i hate that i know them like the back of my hand i hate the same fucking coffee shops i sat in when i was fourteen and scared and now im nineteen and scared and i hate that it's exactly what this town wants i hate that it wants anger i hate that it wants fear i hate that it wants shame i hate that i can give it everything

#thinking about how the two biggest things in my life rn - writing and my degree - are so punctuated by this fucking town #like my biggest fear with my degree isnt what id think of myself if i dropped out or failed #or even what my family would think bc they're nicer to me than i am #it's genuinely the thought of what my hometown lot would say that keeps me up at night #like the thought of my neighbour who told me id never accomplish anything bc my school was shitter than his fancy one #the thought of having to look him in the eye #or the thought of knowing my friends will tell their mums who are still on the PTA with old teachers who thought i was special #like small towns wrap you in this bubble of smallness and it suffocates you and you're so terrified and ashamed of every little mistake #and then my writing GOD i keep thinking about how tbos is probably the best thing ive ever written #and id publish it id genuinely try and get it published #but im just again so scared and ashamed and embarrassed like how do i explain to these assholes that im writing fantasy #and that's not even counting the gay angle bc that's the biggest part #i just am not brave enough for that yet and yeah maybe it's bc im still young but i shouldnt have to be brave to enjoy things to begin with #failure shouldnt require bravery when it's just a fact of life #and i think about if we'd lived in london like my dad wanted us to or if we'd gone to dublin bc my mum loves dublin #or even if we just hadn't come to this fucking town and we'd lived in ANY FUCKING CITY #my dad jokes about how in london he didn't even know his neighbours names and god i just crave that anonymity so fucking much #it's so frustrating and my mum takes it so personally whenever i say i hate the town and my sister says i'll grow out of it just because #she did but i genuinely dont think i will #and maybe that's the creative in me or the queer in me that she just cant relate to but i have always always hated this place #like a guy i have a VERY complicated history with messaged me the other day and we havent talked in TIME #and it was kinda sweet if not awkward just bc of our aforementioned rocky past but one thing he mentioned when i said i was at uni #was that he said really genuinely 'im so happy to hear that; i know you always wanted to get out of [town name]' #like he still remembers that about me even though weve been friends since we were 12 and i havent spoken to him since i was?? 17?? #UGH i just hate it here and it's the fact that i'll never escape it either bc i cant totally abandon ship without also #abandoning my family and i refuse to do that and they refuse to leave so now im just stuck with all these CONNECTIONS #sorry to vent lol #ig this could be a poetry thing? we'll say it is instead of me just having another meltdown LMAO #hella goes home

[love-songs-for-emma]

am i going to single-handedly create a fandom about jay holt from the video game "as dusk falls"? i just fuckin might

#i Cant stop thinking about him. ive literally been dreaming about him. i Need to help him. please #hes just a fuckin kid!!! (18?? 19??) hes a TEEN and his family is FUCKED and its not his FAULT #none of this was his fault. he deserves so much fuckin BETTER #also i thought i didnt care about vanessa but then shes got dead brother trauma hi hello hiiiiii #and now jay does too #fuck my LIFE #ive never been one for self-inserts but actually me jay and vanessa hang out regularly in a tree house we built #we laugh and shoot the shit and talk about what losing our brothers have done/are doing to our psyche #as dusk falls #jay holt #vanessa dorland #new hyperfix u say ? this one will be brief hopefully. bc the game is fucking. unfinished. stupid ass cliffhanger ass bjtch ass #plus im rewriting canon so jay has a good young life. no timeskip for MEEE #maria is literally just rambling. hi #.txt #the only fic ive ever written/outlined was about alana bloom from nbc's hannibal & she Deserved a rewrite #but maybe i need to indulge in writing jay holt's better reality TOO #theres a quote. hang on. a quote from a beloved piece of media. why cant i recall what its from rn #but theyre talking about different timelines n shish and one of them says ''maybe this *is* your best reality'' and its SO sad. fuck #is it hannibal. i feel like its always hanniba #no but also i feel like its not??? #its like ''this is your best life. youre not getting a better one'' #what the eff is that. im gonna be stuck on this forever #EDIT: IT IS FROM FUCKING HANNIBAL. BUT ITS GODDAMN FREDRICK CHILTON OF ALL PEOPLE WHO SAYS IT #''The optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears this is true. #This is your best possible world Will. Not getting a better one'' #fucking CHRIST chilton #lines that go HARD

[britneyshakespeare]

can’t stop intellectualizing about barbie

#maybe ill post a rant later #tales from diana #it's funny. i've written a lot in my private diaries and notebooks about how much i love dolls and have always loved dolls #and what an impact they've had on me personally and wider popular culture #and why i view them as both products and art #etc etc etc #but i dont really try and convince others of those points even on this personal blog where ill rant about truly ANYTHING stupid i want #its not like im worried about anyone judging or tearing apart my opinions (my followers first of all would never) #(i dont think tumblr generally would either. maybe some pockets of tumblr but theyd have to find it somehow) #i guess for me its just a very introspective topic first of all bc it goes back to my early childhood and covers basically all of my life #and i dont assume the history of my life is something that interests most people very much #like most ppl dont really wanna hear about how many similarities i find between playing w dolls and writing poems #(altho ive written and posted poems on that topic before!) #it would be interesting specifically to ppl who know me well. which is probably why ive also talked about this a lot w my sister #kaily and i would literally play games of dolls that would last entire days for like several days in a row #playing w dolls was my FAVORITE thing in the world hands down as a kid. and it did so much good for me #but also barbie and other fashion dolls are so culturally and historically significant and impactful in many underappreciated ways #justice to all doll lovers. xoxoxox

[ankhisms]

had a moment of recognition of self in the favorite characters that made me go GOD DAMN IT GOD DAMN IT out loud

#still have not written up my thoughts on the parallels between the gobusters being a healthy sibling relationship where all #three of them are traumatized and have their own issues but they love each other and have a healthy team sibling relationship #in a parallel and contrast to enter and escape who i view as a toxic sibling relationship where you and your sibling are pitted #against each other and trying to get in the good graces of your awful parent and lashing out at each other and hurting each other #but you still love each other at the end but its not at all a healthy sibling relationship in comparison to the gobusters #anyway was just thinking to myself oh i have a shitty father who ive spent all of my life having to parent him and try #to please him and its impossible to please him no matter how hard you try or how much you do for him he always ends up #throwing tantrums and never appreciating all the stuff you do for him and acting like you only exist for him to use and as i was thinking #that i was like oh god DAMN IY

[currentlybradshaw]

okay but like a cozy, rainy day with rooster. you stay in bed all day cuddling, napping, reading, watching movies/tv shows, etc. you order take out for dinner and later decide to drive to get ice cream. the windows on his bronco are down, the air is cool from the rain. you’re both singing along to one of oldies playlists he’s made. he’s driving with one hand, the other either on your knee or holding your hand. at a red light he leans over and kisses your forehead as he tells you he loves you, then goes right back to singing. after you’re back home, you both share a bath before climbing back under the covers for the night. you play with his damp curls as he gently rubs your back until you both fall asleep

#is this really too much to ask for? #ive never written for anyone before but i need to get these thoughts out #this man has taken over my life lol #bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #random rooster ramble #rooster bradshaw drabble #rooster bradshaw fluff #rooster bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw imagine #rooster x you #rooster x reader #top gun maverick

[kraviolis]

if i had to guess, i’d estimate that only about 1/3 of all the fanfiction i’ve written has been posted.

#krav talks #i have posted 2 star wars fanfics that equal about 20k-28k words altogether iirc #but i estimate myself to have written probably like. 80k words worth of star wars fanfic #also i have like 200k words worth of gravity falls fics ive never posted #and 25k worth of steven universe fics #and you dont even wanna KNOW how much ive written for half life/hlvrai and never finished. #i was fucking insane in 2020. i was riding a high that im forever trying to recreate #a lil 18 year old freshly dropped out of high school right before the pandemic hit so i never had to do zoom school #i had just stopped going to therapy but at the same times just started taking adhd meds that actually worked after 2 years of duds #sometimes i wonder if i have bipolar disorder just because that whole entire era of my life could be classified as a manic episode #maybe i just hibernate in the winters actually. bcus consistently every single summer for the past 4-5 years have felt similarly #oh my god wait. no im dumb i just have seasonal depression. #i cant believe i was thinking that feeling good and motivated and happy and being full of life was mania

[magpiefrankie]

entering 'fine, I'll do it myself' mode because the exact fanfic I want to read doesn't exist (yet).

#ive never written so much in my life tbh #okay thats a lie ive written longer essays #but ive never written so much fiction #nearly 4000 words :| #magpies rambling