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g-xix · 4 months

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Scrambled Egg. Deji x reader x JJ x Simon [platonic]

IDEA: coming home from school w them and the parents aren't there, so you all try cook something. Too bad Deji and JJ try help. Inspired by Deji and JJ'sscrambled eggs in thesidemenSunday.

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"We okay to come 'round to yours, JJ?" Simon turned his head to meet JJ's as he carefully placed his pencil case in his bag. The fabric besides the zipper had a small hole in it and Simon had been treating his bag with the uptmost care recently. JJ didn't seem to care as much, however, as he shoved his chemistry folder into his bag which donned a grand rip in the side.

"Oh yeah, as long as you just don't mind Dej." JJ shrugged, making you and Simon laugh as you all shut your lockers, jamming your lock on the turner and fiddling the code around.

You slung your bag around your shoulder, helping Simon pack his sports kit to hurry him up so that you could get back to JJ's to rush through your homeworks together and then take it in turns to play on JJ's laptop.

Stepping outside, the Winter air was frosty and made you zip your jacket up with a shiver. Noticing your shiver, Simon offered his gloves whilst Deji (who had joined before you'd left the building) plopped his beanie on your head- JJ making the group stop before you walked any further, so that he could properly put the woolly hat on- pushing it down the back of your head and over your ears as well- delivering a good headpat before continuing onwards.

It was a great relief when you all arrived back at JJ's, all letting out contented sighs as JJ opened the front door with a click of the keys and a pushing of the handle- though those greatful expressions were wiped clear off of your faces almsot instantaneously as the bitterly cold air rushed upon you as you stepped in- almost colder than the Wintery air outside.

It had turned dark by the time you'd all walked home to JJ's, and thus it was a struggle for you to trace your fingers across the walls and try find a light switch, having been the first to take your shoes off at the door.

"Here we go," JJ muttered after a moment, flicking the wall before they were painted within the warm white light of an overhead bulb, illuminating the many framed photos of JJ and Deji as children with their parents who all smiled oh so lovingly at a camera.

No matter how many time you'd return to JJ's house, seeing that photo wall would never not bring a stupidly soppy smile to your face.

"He looks like he's just sneezed there," Simon snickered and pointed out one where JJ's eyes were barely open- nose scrunched and face unattractively wide, almost in a perfect o-shape.

"He looks like he's just sat on Dej there-"

"Oh wait-"

"He did." You and Simon chorused and pointed to the picture before which indeed displayed a very pleased JJ sat on a crying, barely-toddler Deji.

"Oh piss off you two," JJ rolled his eyes but couldn't resist the infection grin from growing on his lips also letting out a laugh alongside all of you.

"Oi, JJ, Mummy and Daddy have gone out!" Deji exclaimed from the kitchen, his face popping out from behind the living room door with a chocolate-yoghurt drink to hand, and white ring around his lips.

JJ sighed at the sight of his younger brother. "Bloody hell, I've told you Dej, those chocolate snacks are useless for you- just... Just let me make something... Bloody Hell, I don't know why Mum gets those snacks anyways- they're stupid overpriced!" JJ kept complaining to himself/Deji (it was unsure who he was lecturing) as he walked past Deji and into the kitchen, turning the lights on and opening the fridge which could be heard as the vacuum was broken.

"Dej, are you allowed to cook when your parents aren't at home?" You furrowed your brows and asked the younger of the two siblings. You weren't familiar with whether either of these boys were any talented with a pan and spatula but you had heard a certain whisper of Deji accidentally burning his hand within the first food tech lesson in senior school and him being withdrawn from that class. Permanently.

Deji shrugged in response. "We've never asked."

"Can either of you even cook?" Simon was next to ask, causing Deji to chortle as he shrugged again, smile passing on to Simon as he heard JJ let out a louder shout at himself in the kitchen. "Shall we help him?"

"Well, I don't fancy helping him but it'd be fun to see what's happening over there."

The three of you trooped through the living room and to the kitchen behind, finding JJ with his hands on his head, a look of great stress creased across his face as he shook his head gaze plastered to the floor.

An egg had been dropped over the faux wooden and was slowly trickling further and further out of its shell.

"Mum's gonna be PISSED, you've wasted an egg!" Deji cackled, breaking JJ's trance.

JJ groaned and put his head in his hands, his frustration only making Deji laugh even more raucously- triggering JJ to launch an attack- lurching forwards, hands out as if trying to grab Deji, and subsequently planting his foot straight into the gloopy mess before taking his other leg off the floor with such momentum that he whizzed backwards and landed flat on his back, thumping against the floor and flicking egg-gloop up and onto Deji (who let out a scream) whilst yourself and Simon dodged to avoid JJ who sprawled across the floor with a loud shout.

You couldn't help but bite down on your cheek, resisting the urge to smile whilst JJ's back arched off the floor with a loud cry, Deji shouting about the albumen that'd slung onto his nose.

"You reckon we should help yet?" You turned to ask Simon, the sight of the wide grin on his face tugging the corners of your mouth up also.

"Not yet, I wanna see just who's gonna win this..." Simon watched and you could only nod in agreement... Until you saw Deji reach for an egg of his own.

At that point, you knew that someone had to step in to prevent world war three from starting for another few years.

"DROP THE EGG, DEJI-" You held Deji back from JJ with a hand whilst JJ simply scowled from the floor.

You lived to regret your words however, as Deji took what you said far too literally and loosened his grip over the egg- letting it drop to the floor with a CRACK.

"DEJI" The other three of you exclaimed whilst Deji just looked from one to the other with a look of surprise in his face, as though he were unbelieving that he was the one being targeted.

"Look," Simon decided to step in, only seeing the situation worsening by the second. "We'll clean this mess up, Dej and JJ, you two clean yourselves up, and then we'll try make something."

JJ looked begrudging to the idea of admitting defeat to his idea of cooking something for Deji, but had to shake his head and shrug, saying a reluctant "Okay then", and letting yourself and Simon look at the mess.

It only took about 5 minutes to actually clean the two eggs up, and Deji and JJ had joined you after another minute.

"What can we make?" JJ asked eventually, looking to you for help along with Deji and Simon. After all, you were the only one who took food tech GCSE and was actually good at it.

"I suppose.... Brownies aren't too hard...?"

Well, turned out they were for the Olatunji brothers.

Deji had some strange obsession with cracking eggs, but he couldn't do it very well- and in the end you ended up with a mixture containing four too many eggs, and crunch texture (egg shells. Of course.)

"Deji, we physically cannot cook this. This just can't go into the oven."

"Can we just see what it makes?" Deji furrowed his brows and pleaded.

"Dej, you got banned from food tech and she's doin it for GCSE- if Y/n says that's not going into the oven then that's not going in." Bless JJ for reinforcing your words and plucking the tray from Deji's hands. You noted how the mixture had a strange goopy jiggle to it as JJ dropped it onto the opposite counter.

RING RING RING!

JJ jumped at the sound of the landline phone ringing, rushing to grab the phone and press it to his ear.

Deji, Simon and yourself all watched with interest as he spoke a few words before placing the phone back into the holder and turning around with a horrified expression.

"Mum's fifteen minutes away..." He near-whispered.

Deji's eyes widened as he let out a gasp, Simon and yourself wondering what was so perilous at the news.

"Oh she's gonna be pissed that we've wasted all the eggs and made absolutely fuckall..." JJ's hands found his head, sitting on either side of his face helplessly. You couldn't help but feel pity for the fact him and Deji were so inexplicably futile.

However, after a quiet moment of mourning, JJ picked himself up and clapped his hands, springing into action and a "RIGHT," picking up utensils and tidying the general area.

"We cannot let Mum see the mess we've created, so Deji- you wipe up all the mess on the counter, Simon, could you please wash up the utensils with me?" The two boys nodded in agreement before JJ turned to you with wide brown eyes. "Any other ideas, Y/n?"

"I'm gonna work on getting all the ingredient out of your stove- otherwise when Mrs Olatunji tries to cook she'll set off the fire alarm by burning all that flour."

"Good thinking- thank you- so much," JJ's words almost made you feel sorry for him, and you reached over to collect him in a small hug, squeezing his side and rubbing up and down his arm comfortingly before patting and letting him go. "Don't you worry, JJ, it's been fun enough seeing you mess up as is."

With an eye roll and smile from JJ, you all rushed to do your own bits- scrubbing the spoons, scraping the counters, wiping the stove with a mini-cloth... You were all working at top speeds until Deji looked out the window and yelled-

"MUM AND DAD ARE PULLING IN!"

Thank God you'd finished your cooking, just as JJ gasped and turned around, realising-

"What excuse do we use for the eggs?!"

Everyone went silent in thought including yourself.

JJ looked as though he could've pulled his hair out at that moment, until you had a brain-wave.

"DEJI, get me the last three eggs!"

Deji pulled the last three out and gave them to you so quickly you almost dropped them- meaning that JJ had to cup his hands under yours just to stabilise you and prevent (another) accident from happening. You could feel an almost dangerous warmth radiating from JJ's hands, his anxiety making his whole body heat up. Your hand found his arm, gently pressing in a comforting way your mum used to do to tell you it'll be fine, flashing a sweet smile before getting back to your cooking.

"JJ, Deji, watch-"

You cracked each of the three eggs into a bowl without getting the shell in, whipping it up with a fork whilst Deji and JJ watched over either shoulder. Simon seemed to know what you were doing as he grabbed some salt and pepper and began shaking it into the mixture as you whisked.

"Right, this is the quickest and easiest shit you can make with eggs-" You dashed some oil into a pan Simon had placed over the stove- igniting the gas and pouring the mixture from the bowl to the heating surface as Simon called "They're taking shopping out of the boot!"

"Stall them!" Run out and ask whether they need a hand with getting it all in!" JJ leaned away from your ear to yell at Simon, which Simon duly noted and scurried outside, as indicated by the door shutting and opening.

Meanwhile you kept the boys captivated as Deji handed you a spatula and let you scrape the mixture from the bottom of the pan, forming soft clumps of scrambled egg.

"Chilli peppers?" JJ asked, leaning past you to grab the seasoning from the top shelf.

"Be my guest." You allowed him to sprinkle a few on, still displacing the eggs with the rubbed spatula to keep the eggs forming.

"Hurry up!" Deji hissed nervously as he heard Simon's loud voice and the Dad's voice approaching closer and closer to the front door.

"I can't physically go any quicker! It's bloody cooking, Deji!"

"Yeah, shut up Dej!" JJ reinforced your slightly panicked words, though a bit harshly.

"Sorry Dej, you know we love you..."

"God, I feel like I'm with parents right now..." Deji grumbled, making you roll your eyes as you looked to the left and caught the embarrassed look on JJ's face as well as his darkened cheeks. Cutie.

The sound of the door opening at the front and Yinka's voice calling through the house: "JJ? Deji? We're home!" Was enough to make all three of you jump, however.

"Plate!" You hissed at the two behind you as they panicked to help you.

Simon was no less scared than all three of you- all too knowing what the Olatunji parents looked like when they were angry- and did his best to stall them even in the hallway as they took their shoes off. Not only could Simon feel his arms shaking from the weight of the plastic shopping bags (he'd been given the bag with three heavy milk bottles in it) but also his fingers tremoring in fear of what Yinka and Olajide Snr would see when they walked into the kitchen.

Yet there was only so much which Simon could do as Yinka walked on past him and followed the corridor into the kitchen, Simon rushing his shoes off to trail nervously behind and look over her shoulder as when he walked into the living room, holding his breath as he saw...

JJ, Deji and yourself stood- hands all clasped behind your besides at the table...

On which sat a plate of scrambled egg.

"What's this?!" Yinka exclaimed in surprise.

A porcelain white plate was presented with a raw, untoasted slice of bread beneath yellow curds of egg. The scrambled egg itself looked wonderful: seasoned; sprinkled with paprika and chilli flakes and soft and steaming, clearly fresh from the pan... The sight of all three students stood behind it like army cadets with backs straight and arms behind their backs was a sight to behold though.

Simon wished he had a camera to take a picture of them with. He'd take a picture and frame it so it could be pinned up on the wall besides the stairs alongside all the other pictures of the Olatunji siblings.

"Scrambled eggs!" Deji happily introduced, a great happy smile on his face.

"You cooked without us home?" Their dad entered now, scanning the living room as if looking for a fire or some sort of kitchen disaster. Too bad you'd cleaned the latter before he could've seen it.

"Oh I'm so sorry, Mr Olatunji, Mrs Olatunji, that's my fault," You took credit. You knew Yinka had a slight soft spot for you, and hoped that she would be kinder to you if you took the blame. "We were just all quite hungry and afterwards, JJ and Deji really wanted to make something for yourselves also... I think they said they wanted to surprise you for when you came back..."

You internally fistpumped as Yinka's face broke out into a prideful smile at her sons.

"Did they really?" She was practically beaming with pride. "Oh that is too sweet- I'll tell you what- I'll just go put these into these bits I've bought into the cupboard then have it- thank you very much Y/n...

"What about us?!" Deji exclaimed. JJ elbowed him in the ribs for speaking out of turn.

"Yes, thank you to you and JJ as well," She pressed a kiss to either head as she walked past them and towards the cupboard.

Simon spotted a pan that was still out besides the counter, just behind Yinka. His eyes widened as he squinted his eyes and realised that pan was filled with gloopy, crunchy brownie mixture.

"Dej!" Simon hissed quietly enough for it to go unnoticed by Y/n and JJ (who were exchanging victorious little grins and fistbumps whenever Yinka and Olajide looked away, also helping to put the shopping away). As Simon caught Deji's attention, Simon jerked his head at the pan allowing Deji to spot the mixture and widen his own eyes- rushing towards the metal pan and hiding it as any reasonable person would, by...

Shoving it into the oven.

Simon could've facepalmed at the stupidity of Deji, yet he chose to just display a thumbs up. At least the pan was out of the way; he could take it out and throw it away later.

"Have you kids eaten, yet?" Yinka turned around and asked the cohort as she put the final pack of pretzels onto the bottom shelf before shutting the cabinet.

"Oh yeah, we made some eggs for ourselves, too." JJ reassured his Mum, and you internally smiled as you realised all complications were falling into place and smoothening out. Yes, you'd 'used' those eggs to make yourselves food... Not that you'd dropped two and wasted the other six on gloop-brownies-

Yinka and Olajide sat themselves down at the table with huffs, tucking their chairs in as Simon rushed to pick up a knife and fork for either and joined the line that Deji, JJ, and yourself had created opposite to the parents.

As the knife sliced through the egg and bread, you were all holding onto your breaths- squeezing your hands tightly behind your backs in absolute tension as you waited their response. You could feel JJ almost shaking from besides you, and unclasped your hands- reaching to the right to find his and placing your hand over his. He exchanged a quick glance before turning his palm over to interlink your hands, his fingers tightly squeezing yours whilst you tried to soothe him by rubbing his outer hand with your thumb.

You could practically feel the blush forming on your cheeks from your actions, and yet you were too nervous from the tension to care- everyone in the room was silent, awaiting as the parents raised their forks and knives laden with 5-minte-scrambled-eggs and bread...

The fork entered their mouths...

Five chews...

Hand slackens around fork...

Olajide's eyes go wide...

Yinka begins smiling...

Yinka swallows and gets up...

Yinka begins walking towards you...

"Oh wow, Y/n this is lovely! You said you made this? Wow, you've made it so nicely, thank you very much, kids!"

You could feel your heart swelling as Yinka wrapped her arms around you, one hand resting on the back of your head and pressing you into her body maternally, whilst the other squeezed comfortingly around your back.

JJ and Deji were chuffed as well as they received their own hugs and well-done's, and Simon got a little hug of his own, too.

The four of you raced upstairs after washing their plates and utensils, dancing around JJ's room ecstatically as you realised you'd gotten away with fucking up their kitchen, wasting eggs, and cooking whilst the parents weren't at home.

You may have gone to sleep with empty, cruelly rumbling stomachs, but you also went to sleep with hearts overflowing with pride and joy.

BONUS SCENE!

"Kids!" Your neck snapped back as you heard Yinka's voice calling from downstairs.

"Yes, Mum?" JJ called back down to the kitchen.

"Can you come downstairs please?" Her voice responded, making you all groan as you paused the game, putting the monitor on sleep mode and trooping down the stairs to the kitchen whereby you knew Yinka would be.

You were first to step through the kitchen door and regret it most as you saw that the previous humour and happiness within Yinka had been wiped clean, replaced with a confused and almost horrified look as she wielded a pan in her hand.

"What is this, can you explain to me?"

The mixture inside was burned and charred completely black and somehow still seemed to have a jiggle to it as the tremor in Yinka's hand had the horror wiggling slightly. And not only that, but the whole room smelled of farts because of that "brownie" monstrosity Deji had created, with four-too-many eggs.

You looked to the side to make eye contact with the other three boys who were all partially responsible also, and whilst JJ's eyes were wide in fear, Simon's jaw hanging loose in disbelief...

Deji had taken flight and sprinted out of the kitchen, running two-steps-at-a-time up the stairs whilst Yinka shouted for him to COME BACK DOWN, NOW, DEJI!!!

BONUS BONUS SCENE!!!

(Wow, timejump from secondary school AU all the way to current!Sidemen era!)

You took the camera off of it's tripod, slipping the SD card out and handing it to Kon, handling the camera with upmost care as you slipped it back into it's case and zipped it up post-shoot.

A warm smile remained on your face, only growing bigger as you felt a hand slip around your waist, pulling you into your muscular boyfriend's body.

"Nice scrambled eggs you made there, Jide," You grinned as you turned to see his own grin, dimples cutely pressed in at the corner of his mouth so sweetly you couldn't help but place a chaste little kiss there.

"Learnt it from the best," JJ chased after your lips, wanting a better kiss which you couldn't deny, sharing a quick kiss on the lips before pulling back and laughing.

"God, it's so ironic that after all this time the only thing you've learnt how to make is scrambled eggs..."

You cast a glance to the simple pile of egg amongst eight other well-crafted dishes. It was certainly the odd one out, and yet it also somehow looked like one of the most preferrable meals amongst the others.

"You could teach me how to make something else, you know?"

"Oh yeah?" You quirked a brow and turned back to face him. "And what do you wanna learn to cook?"

"I don't know, what's the easiest."

You cast your memory back to the things you'd make as a child- some of the easiest recipes- until your mind found the item you'd once deemed easiest to make, and yet had watched as JJ and Deji had messed it up to beyond repair.

"Well, I suppose brownies aren't too hard..."

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Ayup everyone. Thought I'd write something kinda unconventional in terms of the fact i feel like i always write fluff/smut/x reader oneshots, but the recent sdmn vid kinda j made me wanna write some platonic fluff, ygm? Vid in question is:

youtube

Hope you enjoyed reading!! Feel free to interact- whether that be a comment, vote or follow! Requests open, feel free to submit what u wanna see... Much love!!

To see more, here's my MASTERLIST

And here's my WATTPAD, with 50+ more oneshots to read

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sidemenxyn · 8 months

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buttercream-squad-imagines · 3 years

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Tinder in Real Life

Pairings: Harry Lewis x fem!Reader, Sidemen x platonic!Reader Word Count: 2k Warnings: Language some people may find offensive, sexual themes, recycled lines from Sidemen Tinder in Real Life because I'm not at all creative Request: Hey! Could you do reader x Harry imagine where the sidemen do a collab video with the reader who is also a big youtuber and Harrys celebrity crush. And during the video the reader is very flirty, leaving Harry a flustered mess when the flirting is directed towards him, but very jealous when its with any other sidemen.

The Sidemen were one of the biggest groups on YouTube and one that you were very familiar with. At the age of 23, you were a fair bit younger than some of its oldest members but yet you had a close relationship with JJ, whom you had met through YouTube.

You had started your channel when you were 17, just under four years ago, making makeup videos, which was a passion of yours when you were younger. Not that you were any good at it back then. Those videos quickly become unlisted when your channel started blowing up in late 2016, now nearing 20 million at the present time.

It wasn't long before you expanded your horizons and had started making different sorts of videos, including vlogs of your everyday life - which wasn't and still isn't that exciting in your opinion - and those where you just had a laugh, attempting to do stupid challenges that were so popular back then. It was those, however, that grew your channel. Your fans seemed to love them and so you gradually started to make more.

As your small channel began to grow significantly, it caught the attention of KSI, a member of the Sidemen, who reached out to you to for a collab. You were ecstatic. You couldn't believe it at the time, why would someone like KSI with 20 million subscribers want to collaborate with you? By that time, you couldn't exactly call yourself a small channel anymore, with almost 5 million subscribers but it still didn't make any sense to you.

You and JJ quickly bonded after filming together. You had a very similar sense of humour and interests. As the years went, the older boy became one of your best friends, the nature of your relationship being very teasing and flirtatious but the both of you knew it was a joke. It was just the way you both were.

Though despite having known him for nearing 3 years now, you had never met the rest of the Sidemen, with the exception of Simon, as he lived with JJ. Which is why when he texted asking you to collaborate with the Sidemen, you couldn't turn the offer down. You were a fan of the group and the content they were producing. You thought the videos that they made were exceptional, that they were pushing the envelope of the standard of content on YouTube and often found yourself excited for new videos.

He had explained that they were filming another of their 'Tinder in real life' but a YouTuber version with the likes of BambinoBecky and ChiWithAC. You were so excited. You were finally going to meet the rest of JJ's friends and you had the opportunity to be a part of a Sidemen Sunday.

You arrived at the studio the boys were filming at in the afternoon, finding and greeting JJ before he introduced you to the other sidemen in addition to Lux, Freezy and Stephen.

"And you've already met Simon." He finished.

"Yeah. Nice to finally meet you all. JJ tells me a lot about you guys." You laughed.

"Because that's assuring." Ethan pointed out with a chuckle, the other boys letting out agreements.

"Not all bad, I promise." You teased, winking at him. Ethan felt the blood rushing to his face, immediately becoming flustered and stumbling over his words. You found that you often had that effect on people as you could be very direct and flirtatious even when you didn't mean it. To you it was just friendly banter.

"Geez Y/N, stop flirting with people you met literally five minutes ago." JJ rolled his eyes.

"You sound a bit jealous, Jide." You smirked, a teasing grin spread across your face.

"Nah, allow it." There were eruptions of laughter around the room, coming from the boys. You were quick to notice Harry standing out of the way and was significantly quieter than the others, with what seemed to be a forced smile on his face.

Harry was in his own head, barely paying attention to what was going on around him. When JJ had told him that you were going to be in the next Sidemen video, he panicked. You were an accomplished YouTuber who he was quite fond of to say the least. Well, that would be an understatement, he had a fairly large crush on you. A crush that no one but Freezy and Lux knew about.

He knew that JJ had been friends with you for some time now but never considered the possibility of even meeting you. His anxiety acted as a barrier to even the thought of it. But he was currently in the same room as you and had said nothing more than a short 'hello'. He longed to have the confidence Ethan had to speak to you, even more so for you to look at him the way you were.

Already you were flirting with JJ and Ethan, something that caused a pit to form at the bottom of his stomach. He wouldn't admit it, but he could slowly feel the jealousy forming. Not that he had anything to be jealous about in the first place!

You continued to speak with the boys as you got your mic set up, telling them stories you were sure would embarrass JJ.

"Y/N, stop." The older boy whined. He could be like a child sometimes, but it was one of his more endearing qualities. He simply wouldn't be JJ if he wasn't.

"No, carry on." Simon laughed.

"Oh, don't worry, there's plenty more where that came from." You teased.

"I think it's time we started, don't you think?" Harry grumbled.

"Right." You smiled at the boy, who's cheeks became tinted red. He ducked to hide his face and walked around to stand in the line, hiding himself in the middle.

"Hi, I'm Y/N, I'm 23 and I'm from Y/H/T." You spoke to the camera once you were given the go ahead.

"I'm Simon, I'm 28. I like to practice safe sex."

"Always a good start."

"I could tie you to the bed, so you don't fall off." He finished with a giggle. You acted like you were pondering it for a moment before letting out a laugh and swiping right.

"I'm down for that." You teased. The boys all let out rumbles of laughter

"Hi, I'm Ethan, I'm 26 and kiss me if I'm wrong, but you're gonna swipe right."

"What would you rather?" You joked. Ethan shrugged his shoulders and walked closer to the board, sticking his head through with his lips puckered, eliciting a cry of protest from Harry that this wasn't allowed. You laughed and made an over exaggerated motion to swipe to the right, causing him to pout playfully but walked over to the right anyway.

"Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 28. KSI has a top ten single, but you're the only hot single I can see."

"Wow, that was smooth!" You said with a grin. "Definite yes from me."

"I'm Callum, I'm 26. Are you into fitness?" Freezy asked.

"Can't say I am." You replied, unsure of what turn this could take.

"How about you fitness dick in your mouth?"

"I wouldn't get too excited babes, I gag on my toothbrush." You laughed. "We could try though."

You swiped right on him, chuckling as you watched him let out a yes before joining Simon, Ethan, and Josh. You frowned slightly, a crease forming between your brows as you saw Harry whisper something furiously at his friend but ultimately got distracted by Vik stepping up to go next.

"I'm Vik, I'm 25. My ex-girlfriend always said I'd never do better than her, wanna prove her right?" You could hear the cries of the boys in the background, some scolding him, others laughing.

"Man actually said prove her right. Not wrong." JJ shrieked with a shocked look on his face, holding his head with his hands.

"You need to find someone for that." You snarked, swiping left on the boy, who shrugged and walked off.

"Damn! You got told!" Lux cackled.

"Uh hi. I'm Harry. I'm uh 25, no I'm not I'm 24." He stumbled. "Are you sure you're a muggle? Because that ass is magical."

"You should see how magical it can be." You spoke before cringing at yourself and laughing, swiping right to avoid a reply. The boy's face grew a bright shade of red, closely resembling the colour of a tomato.

"Geez, is that an offer?!" Freezy yelled from the right side. You laughed, observing how Harry whispered furiously to the boy to stop and winked at him once he had could see. Your laughter only increased as you watched JJ step up.

"I'm JJ. I'm 28 and are you a raisin? Cause you're raising my dick." The boy in question stood in front of you so confidently, hands clasped together in front of him so seriously that you just lost it. By the time you composed yourself, there were tears almost falling from your eyes.

"A* for effort." You laughed, swiping right eliciting a cry of success.

You had wrapped up filming your segment of the video, which conveniently was the last of the day. You found JJ who you spoke to whilst the other boys were otherwise occupied talking to each other.

"Cheers for coming, Y/N/N. You've been great."

"Anything for you." You joked.

"Don't tempt me." He laughed. You could feel eyes on you, eyes that were burning into your side. You turned your head to see Harry staring you and JJ down before looking away after being caught in the act, and suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

"Does Harry not like me or something?" You whispered to JJ, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden.

"Not that I know of." He frowned looking at the younger boy. "He can be a bit awkward at times and gets flustered a lot."

"Right." You agreed. You excused yourself before sauntering up to the boy in question, calling his name to snap him out of the daze he appeared to be in.

"Oh, um hey Y/N." He stumbled.

"Hi." You smiled gently. "I uh, I was just wondering, do you... have I done something to offend you?"

"Offend me? Why, uh, why would you think that?" He rambled.

"It's just... it's nothing, it's probably just me overthinking things." You waved it off, feeling like a complete idiot.

"I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I don't like you. I don't not like you, in fact I really like you! Oh, um I mean I like you, you're very pretty." The boy couldn't stop rambling which made you laugh. "No, wait."

"You think I'm pretty?" You blushed interrupting him. Harry felt his mouth go dry, not being able to get anything coherent to come out. "Well, Harry, I really like you too."

"What?" His eyebrows shot up so far it was almost comical. "Really? So, you don't like the other guys?"

"What? No." You laughed. "That's absurd. Why would you think that?"

"You seemed very..." The boy trailed off, not wanting to offend you after you had admitted to liking him.

"Flirty?" You finished, causing him to nod. "I'm like that with everyone, I don't mean to be half the time."

"Oh."

"Well, how about you give me your phone number and when you finally grow a pair, you can ask me out?" Your confidence levels had shot up spontaneously.

"Uh, sure." His cheeks had become a dark shade of red as he passed his phone to you so you could put your number in. You kept looking up at him as you typed, putting your name under 'Y/N x' in his contacts before handing it back to him.

"Y/N! Come on! We're going to Nando's!" JJ called from the other side of the room.

"Call me." You winked. Your bottom lip was caught between your teeth and was currently the only thing from stopping the wide grin from spreading across your face. A grin that hadn't disappeared from your face for the rest of the day, much to the curiosity of JJ, who was disappointed when you refused to tell him why, or more appropriately who, had put the smile on your face.

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trashland-llamas · 2 years

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Dad

4 times the Sidemen called Josh 'Dad'

Simon

You think Harry would be the 1st to accidentally call Josh 'dad' but in reality, it was Simon. Simon had been worrying about what to get Talia for their anniversary & figured he could get advice from him. 'Hey dad—never mind' immediately backtracking. '...okay, that was weird' Simon did ask him later, not the same day but sometime later. Josh reassuring him by joking bout it. 'Sure you're not going to call me dad again?'

'Oh fuck off' pushing him. 'Hey, it that any way to treat your father figure now?'

Harry

Harry had been drinking all night on an empty stomach. Having hit his head after jumping on a yellow car, Josh made sure he got first aid. His elbows scraped worse than his head. Squirming away when Josh put antiseptic on the wounds, 'Sorry bog, don't want it getting infected now do we?' Shaking his head no, Josh cradled his head. Pushing back the hair so he could see if there was any blood or gashes. Ruffling his hair, 'You're all good to go'

Harry kissing Josh's cheek, 'Thanks, dad' leaving Josh stunned as he ran away, on his way to causing more chaos.

Ethan

Ethan has Josh as 'Faher' in his phone under emergency contacts. This being in case he's in the hospital and they need someone to call if his mom on the rare chance doesn't pick up.

'Hello, is this Mr. Zerkaa?' Responding that this was in fact 'Josh Zerker' before asking who was calling. 'We have Ethan Payne in the hospital.' once relaying the needed information, Josh drove up to where Ethan was held. Apparently it had been an asthma attack that didn't let up.

'So...you have me as your emergency contact?'

'Just in case my mom didn't answer...you don't mind do ya?'

'Not one bit, just glad you're okay.'

JJ says it sarcastically, as a bit of banter. He had just finished up a boxing match the previous day and thus looked down for the count. The rest of the Sidemen crew had decided to have a cozy get together, already drank the night away after the match ended. 'Mate, you look like shit'

His bruises in the later stage of healing. 'Thanks dad' voice almost dripping with venom. If it weren't for him laughing, they would've taken him serious.

#sidemen #not x reader #josh zerker #zerkaa #simon minter #miniminter #harry lewis #w2s #wroetoshaw #ethan payne #behzinga #jj olatunji #ksi #platonic #josh zerker x ethan payne #josh zerker x simon minter #josh zerker x harry lewis

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damn-behzinga · 4 years

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Damn-Behzinga’s Masterlist

angst - 🌧️

fluff - ☀️

favourite - 👑

⚡ The Eboys ⚡

Will Lenney (Willne)

The Veteran - The reader surprises Will at a panel after fighting in another country for a year. (X Reader) ☀️

Kissing In The Rain - Will’s friends meet his girlfriend for the first time but the couple is to busy having an argument. (X Reader) ☀️

Pancakes, Anyone? - You make breakfast for everyone after a night out and Will realises how much he loves you. (X Reader) ☀️

Nail Polish - You and Will have a pamper night (X Reader) 👑☀️

Moving In - Will and Gee get a new neighbour and Will happens to find her very cute. (X Reader) ☀️

Get Better - Will helps you through a bad day of depression. (X Reader)🌧️

A Little Bit More - Will and Reader recite their vows at their wedding. (X Reader)☀️

Tough Guy - Will and Reader are complete opposites but somehow have a strong bond. (X Reader)☀️

Will’s Friend Otis - Will gets a dog to help with some problems he’s having, Will can’t find his confidence to talk to his friends. (Centric) 👑🌧️

Toxic - Part Two of WFO, a look through social media as Will deals with his mental health 🌧️

Hometown - Part Three of WFO, Will goes home to take care of himself but re-lives the worst memories possible 🌧️

Will Comes Home - Part Four of WFO, Will comes home and tries to do a Livestream. Stephen doesn’t let it happen for obvious reasons. 🌧️

Taking A Leap - You are scared of love, Will isn’t (X Reader) 🌧️

Deserving - You get fired from your job and Will comforts you (X Reader)🌧️☀️

Alex Elmslie (ImAllexx)

First Kiss - You have your first kiss with Alex after he lists the things he loves about you. (X Reader ☀️)

Hurt Me Once - Alex knows what his partner has been getting up to (X Reader)

James Marriott

Enough - Reader is content with the relationship they have with James, they decide to go public. (X Reader) 👑☀️

You Walked In And My Heart Went Boom - Reader and James have a heart to heart at 3am (X Reader)☀️

Grow As We Go - Reader thinks they need to break up with James in order to figure themselves out. Part of the Ben Platt Writing Challenge (X Reader)🌧️☀️

George (Memeulous)

Protective - George gets protective when Reader gets assaulted, he decides to do something about it. (X Reader) 🌧️☀️

Temporary Love - George doesn’t want this to be a one-time thing… Part of the Ben Platt Writing Challenge (X Reader) 👑🌧️☀️

✨ SIDEMEN ✨

Ethan Payne (Behzinga)

Baby Behzinga Meets Her Uncles - The Sidemen meet your month old daughter (X Reader) 👑☀️

“Dad, Can’t you hear me?” - Ethan opens up about his dad, the sidemen don’t realise how truly scary it is. (Centric)🌧️

Hush Hush - You are JJ’s best friend, he warned his friends not to date you, Ethan doesn’t listen. (X Reader)☀️🌧️

After Meeting A Little Early - You and Ethan have a son at the age of seventeen. the sidemen love him to pieces. (X Reader)☀️

Happy Hours - Ethan talks about you and your son on the Happy Hour podcast. Part 2 of AMALE (X Reader)☀️

Hooked - after a little too much drinking after JJ V Logan Paul, you and Ethan hook up (X Reader) ☀️

Doubt - Ethan has his doubts about being a father but you easily soothe him. (X Reader) 🌧️☀️

Top - Ethan sees you wearing his top and he decides to tell you something. (X Reader) ☀️

Losing The War Against Himself - Ethan is losing the war against his depression but other soldiers are going to fight beside him and help him win. (Cenric) 🌧️

Falling On The Battle Field - Ethan tries to take his own life, the sidemen try to cope (Centric) Part Two of LTWAH 🌧️

I Can’t Wait For Forever - The Sidemen film your’s and Ethan’s weddings, here are the fan favourite bits (X Reader)☀️

Secrets Always Come To Surface - Ethan’s secret gets revealed when someone appears out of the blue. (Centric)🌧️

Together In Isolation - Ethan loves to spend time with you in quarantine (X Reader)☀️

A Painful Memory - The Sidemen Roast is all fun and games until someone jokes about Ethan’s friend who passed away. (X Reader)🌧️

Fitting In - Ethan introduces you to his friends, you get a bit insecure because you’re a bit bigger then other girls (X Reader) 🌧️☀️

To Be Free Again - Ethan gets into a car accident and has to learn to walk again. There are moments where he wanted to give up but he quickly had his friends help him feel better again. These are some of those moments. (centric)🌧️

Dumb Ass Love - If Ethan had to chose between men being horrid to you or a bloody nose, he would chose the latter. (X Reader) ☀️

Unclear - Ethan’s addicted to heroin, the boys have to find a way to help him (Centric)🌧️

Best Couple On YouTube - You and Ethan take part in Simon’s Best Couple On YouTube series. (X Reader) ☀️

Unconventional Family - Ethan meets his half sister for the first time and he decides she should meet his family, the sidemen.(OC & Ethan Centric)☀️

Heart Pains - Ethan has a lot of things that he wanted to do before he hit thirty, having a heart attack and almost dying was not one of them. (Centric) 🌧

Harry Lewis (Wroetoshaw)

Tranquil - You and Harry are soft when others aren’t around. (X Reader)☀️

livestream - harry watches your livestream and realises you’re not okay (X Reader)🌧️☀️

What He Thinks - Not What He Is - Harry finished filming with the weight gained video and he feels terrible about himself so you have to teach him otherwise (X Reader)🌧️☀️

Moment To Moment - This is Harry’s story of his relationship with an abusive woman. (Centric) 👑🌧️

Flustered - Harry gets flustered when a pretty girl comes in for a speed dating video (X Reader)☀️

Medication - Harry suffers from bipolar disorder and has medication, it’s awkward when his friends find out. (Centric)🌧️

Surprise - Harry thinks the biggest surprise of the day was the boys forgetting his birthday, little does he know. (Centric)🌧️☀️

Waltzing - You teach the Sidemen to waltz, Harry gets partnered up with you (X Reader)☀️

Date Night In Isolation - The activities you and Harry get up to in quarantine. (X Reader)☀️

Unexpected But Adorable - You and Harry are famous Youtubers, no one expects your relationship (X Reader)☀️

Nightmares - You have vivid nightmares, thankfully, Harry knows what to do. (X Reader) 🌧️☀️

Cuddle Time - Harry wants to cuddle, the boys happily oblige. (Centric) ☀️

Taken Over - Harry has a seizure after a shoot, the guys help him. (Centric) 🌧️

JJ Olatunji (KSI)

Helpless - You perform your first show as Eliza Schylur for the music Hamilton and JJ supports you. (X Reader) ☀️

Jealous, Babe? - You watch Jaackmaate, JJ is jealous (X Reader) ☀️

Caring - JJ takes care of you whilst your sick (X Reader) ☀️

Not To Blame - You go to a party with all your friends, the night takes a twisted turn and JJ tries to understand it. (X Reader/platonic or romantic) 🌧️

Josh Bradley (Zerkaa)

Not Your Anxiety - The Sidemen don’t know how to handle Josh’s panic attack, luckily Freya is the best. (centric) 🌧️

Hard Worker Shouldn’t Over Work - Josh tends to overwork himself but luckily has amazing friends surrounding him. (centric)🌧️☀️

Mine - You love Josh. Josh loves you. If only love were that simple. (X Reader) 🌧

Vik Barn (Vikkstar123)

Not Just Banter - Sometimes, Sidemen banter goes too far and Vik needs comforting (X Reader) 🌧️☀️

Meeting On Minecraft - You and Vik met online playing Minecraft and now you meet in real life (X Reader) ☀️

Tobi Brown (tbjzl)

Small Comments - You and Tobi promised each other that you wouldn’t go public, so why was the comment left in the video? (X Reader) 🌧️☀️

Falling - You and Tobi were on the lowdown, but what is he doing with that other girl? (X Reader)🌧️

Simon Minter (Miniminter)

Antics - You and Simon have a fun night out and have to get your drunken selves home (X Reader) ☀️

Simon In The Bathroom - Simon gets ditched by his one friend at a party, now he’s alone in the bathroom (Centic) 🌧️

THE GROUP

Acceptance - You come out to the sidemen as a bisexual (Sidemen & Non-specified reader)

🔥 + FRIENDS 🔥

Stephen Lawson (StephenTries)

Brother’s Best Friend - You are Will’s twin sister and Stephen might be developing an itsy bitsy, small crush on you. (X Reader) ☀️

Callum McGinley (Callux)

The Most Confident - Cal meets Harry’s old school friend, he likes her immediately but is she too cool for him? (X Reader) 🌧️☀️

Talia Mar

Strawberries + Cigarettes- Talia reveals her relationship with the reader through her music video for her song Strawberries + Cigarettes (X Reader) ☀️

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sidemenxyn · 8 months

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sidemenxyn · 8 months

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#funny sidemen snaps and memes #harry lewis x reader #platonic sidemen x reader #sidemen #sidemen snaps #sidemen x reader #sidemen x reader snaps #sidemen snap stories #sidemen x y/n #sidemen x you #harry lewis x you #harry lewis #josh bradley #tobi brown #ethan payne #jj olatunji #simon minter #vik barn

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sidemenxyn · 8 months

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#funny sidemen snaps and memes #harry lewis x reader #platonic sidemen x reader #sidemen #sidemen snaps #sidemen x reader #sidemen x reader snaps #sidemen snap stories #sidemen x y/n #sidemen x you #harry sidemen x you #harry lewis x you #harry lewis #tobi brown #jj olatunji #vikk barn #simon minter #josh bradley #ethan payne

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sidemenxyn · 9 months

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sidemenxyn · 9 months

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sidemenxyn · 9 months

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#funny sidemen snaps and memes #harry lewis x reader #platonic sidemen x reader #sidemen #sidemen snaps #sidemen x reader #sidemen x reader snaps #sidemen snap stories #sidemen x y/n #sidemen x you #harry lewis #tobi brown #jj olatunji #Josh Bradley #Vik Barn #ethan payne #simon minter #Y/n

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sidemenxyn · 9 months

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sidemenxyn · 9 months

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#funny sidemen snaps and memes #harry lewis x reader #platonic sidemen x reader #sidemen #sidemen snaps #sidemen x reader #sidemen x reader snaps #sidemen snap stories #sidemen x y/n #sidemen x you #harry lewis #ethan payne #jj olatunji #Josh Bradley #Vik Barn #tobi brown #simon minter

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g-xix · 5 months

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Sidemen Masterlist

☁️= fluff, 🔞= smut, 💢 = angst

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!! Send litr anything in thru the inbox n i'll write it (or not)... No promises it'll be done any time soon tho :DD

writing for: Tobi Brown, Harry Lewis, JJ Olatunji

Tobi TBJZL Brown

"20 v 1" - where Tobi is subject to a 20 v 1 and finds one date a lot more interesting than the rest... ☁️"How the Sidemen (& more) would react to seeing you crying" 🔞"Charity Match" - Whereby as Tobi pulls his top of victoriously after the charity match, someone notices a few seemingly suspicious markings over his body... 🔞"GTA n BJ's" - A oneshot story in which Tobi learns that teasing his girlfriend and expecting her not to retaliate is a bigger mistake than he could ever even begin to imagine... 🔞"Eating out Headcanons" - Sidemen Headcanons of what the boys would be like giving you cunnilingus 🔞"Getting their ass ate HC's" - super brief HC's of the SDMN getting their ass eaten ☁️"Harry Potter x Sidemen AU headcanons" - goofy lil headcanons of the Sidemen in an alternate, Harry Potter n Hogwarts Universe

Simon mini-Minter

☁️"How the Sidemen (& more) would react to seeing you crying" ☁️"Scrambled Eggs." - Platonic, JJ x reader x Deji x Simon oneshot inspired by "World's hardest cooking challenge" Sidemen Sunday, whereby Deji, JJ, Simon and Y/n come home from school and see the Olatunji parents aren't home, and try to cook something. Emphasis on the try... ☁️"Harry Potter x Sidemen AU headcanons" - goofy lil headcanons of the Sidemen in an alternate, Harry Potter n Hogwarts Universe

Ethan BEHZINGA Payne

☁️"How the Sidemen (& more) would react to seeing you crying" ☁️"Harry Potter x Sidemen AU headcanons" - goofy lil headcanons of the Sidemen in an alternate, Harry Potter n Hogwarts Universe

Josh ZERKAA Bradley

☁️"How the Sidemen (& more) would react to seeing you crying" 🔞"Anniversary" - Happy anniversary! Too bad that whilst Josh tries to enjoy a romantic restaurant date, you're all too riled up and escalate the sexual tension across the table until the two of you can't stand it anymore- so much so that you don't even manage to make it home before you're naked 🔞"Eating out Headcanons" - Sidemen Headcanons of what the boys would be like giving you cunnilingus ☁️"Harry Potter x Sidemen AU headcanons" - goofy lil headcanons of the Sidemen in an alternate, Harry Potter n Hogwarts Universe

JJ KSI Olatunji

☁️💢"Chocolate eyes" - Why is jealousy the emotion it took for JJ to finally admit his feelings for you? | Brother's best friend!OC ☁️"How the Sidemen (& more) would react to seeing you crying" 🔞"Quarter-to" - JJ just cannot keep it in his pants and wait until after dinner reservations to fuck you- can you need to race against time to get yourselves off and get to your that restaurant in time? 🔞"KSI NSFW alphabet" 🔞"Seven Minutes in Heaven" - Seven minutes. Locked in a cramped, confined closet with the man you'd been teasing all night, merciless to his touch for those savoured seven minutes where your friends can hear everything within those four thin, wooden walls. ☁️"Scrambled Eggs." - Platonic, JJ x reader x Deji x Simon oneshot inspired by "World's hardest cooking challenge" Sidemen Sunday, whereby Deji, JJ, Simon and Y/n come home from school and see the Olatunji parents aren't home, and try to cook something. Emphasis on the try... 🔞"Eating out Headcanons" - Sidemen Headcanons of what the boys would be like giving you cunnilingus 🔞"Getting their ass ate HC's" - super brief HC's of the SDMN getting their ass eaten ☁️"Harry Potter x Sidemen AU headcanons" - goofy lil headcanons of the Sidemen in an alternate, Harry Potter n Hogwarts Universe

Vik VIKKSTAR123 Barn

☁️"How the Sidemen (& more) would react to seeing you crying" ☁️"Harry Potter x Sidemen AU headcanons" - goofy lil headcanons of the Sidemen in an alternate, Harry Potter n Hogwarts Universe

Harry W2S Lewis

☁️"How the Sidemen (& more) would react to seeing you crying" 🔞W2S NSFW alphabet 💢"Pregnant" - Careless sex turns into something more serious which has you panicking over how the hell Harry will accept it... 🔞"Threesome" - W2s x reader x ChrisMD in a post-pub drunken mess of horny brains and hard cocks 🔞"Lockdown vids pt 1" - You're too horny to wait for Harry to finish his recording with Chris, Will and Stephen, yet come to realise the consequences to the impatience of your actions... Part of [KINKTOBER] 🔞"Lockdown vids pt 2" - When Will and Chris catch you two fucking whilst on a Discord call, and just can't help but join... Part of [KINKTOBER] 🔞"Eating out Headcanons" - Sidemen Headcanons of what the boys would be like giving you cunnilingus 🔞"Getting their ass ate HC's" - super brief HC's of the SDMN getting their ass eaten ☁️"Harry Potter x Sidemen AU headcanons" - goofy lil headcanons of the Sidemen in an alternate, Harry Potter n Hogwarts Universe 🔞"Praise Kink" - kinda porn without plot, just a short 800 word blurb detailing what it'd be like having Harry's cock in your mouth whilst he praises you <3

looking for someone you can't find? Head back to the main masterlist to check out the other masterlists to see if the person you're looking for is there! Don't be scared to send a message via DMs or thru the inbox if you need any help xx

p.s. Customise which Oneshots YOU want to be tagged in by submitting your preferences on THIS GOOGLE FORM!

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buttercream-squad-imagines · 3 years

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I loved your one about being caught by callux in a secret relationship I love those stories liek that. Could you do a similar one with Simon or josh please if your ok with that xx

This will be posted at 5pm BST tomorrow!

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damn-behzinga · 4 years

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Masterlist