#just a cycle that never ever ends

[ambelle]

You know what? I know when I was younger, I definitely could relate easier, and that was a time when the only ones I knew irl were like a few teachers and a few students. Whenever I got out into the world and interacted more with them irl, it became harder for me to connect with characters, BUT, I still can in several instances. And a lot of these people never even interact with us in real life, but the characters they see, no matter how they are written, they'll always have a problem when that character is anything but a prop.

Yeah they’ll offer them the most easily digestible black and brown people and it’ll still not work for them. I’ll always remember what Hunger Games fans said about Rue when they saw she was blacked. That was a little girl and they for real said they felt nothing when she died. Hell I removed myself from the Titans fandom because this ww was making several posts about how she resented Mar’i, an actual toddler, for getting more attention than Rachel. And people let her talk crazy like that all in Mari and her parents’s tag because they enjoy her fanfiction. So yeah you can present an innocent baby and they’ll still have an issue.

Specifically I find it easier to connect with ww in fiction. That whole “surprise I’m anti-black” thing they love to do isn’t something that tends to happen at least on shows I watch. Like for example I have no reason to believe Cate is secretly racist and that’s her motive behind anything she does but her fans on the other hand…

#fandom racism #just a cycle that never ever ends

[its-rat-time-babey]

“The Artificer’s campaign has little impact on the overall story” bitch I cannot stress how much of an impact the Artificer had on the entire world. You just need to pay attention to some things.

By the time of the Artificer, Scavengers are basically in the middle of a massive golden age. They have a Chieftain (with a mark of communication (maybe Five Pebbles gave them the mark and citizen ID drone and tried to use them for something but they rebelled and found Metropolis)) with armour made from Red Centipede Scales, they have a permanent home in metropolis above the rain, they figured out how to harvest electrical scrap and broken down Rarefaction Cells from the ruins of Looks To The Moon and pieces of Five Pebbles to make electric spears and Singularity Bombs, they even have specially trained Elite Scavengers, which did exist before in the time of the Spearmaster but it’s still worth bringing them up.

Overall, Scavengers are at a golden age of invention and life in general.

And then they anger the Artificer, who slaughters countless Scavengers, kills their Chieftain and drives them out of Metropolis, locking the gate behind them.

After that, a new Chieftain is never made, armour like the chieftain once wore is never made again, Scavengers suffer a massive population loss, they can’t enter Metropolis without a Citizen ID Drone and Elite Scavengers slowly disappear as the methods used to teach them and the knowledge of how to scavenge and create electric spears and singularity bombs is lost, with the last Elite Scavengers being seen in the Hunter’s campaign, which happens next in the timeline. In other words, the Artificer literally sent Scavengers into a dark age.

It takes until the time of the SAINT for Scavengers to show real signs of recovery, now appearing in larger numbers than before. And even THEN Scavengers never do anything like they did during the time of the Artificer. The Artificer plunged Scavengers into a dark age for countless years, and they STILL haven’t recovered.

And that’s not all. According to the wiki, Scavengers are afraid of Slugpups, most likely because they remember how the last time they killed one they were hit by the full force of an angry explosive lobbing goddess of destruction that slaughtered countless members of their kind. They are afraid of Slugpups in all campaigns, even the Saint’s. So even by the time of the Saint Scavengers know not to mess with Slugpups, presumably because the last time they did so is a legend among Scavengers by that point in time.

Hell, the Artificer’s existence even explains something about the Hunter. The reason that the Hunter starts with a negative reputation among Scavengers is because they look like the fucking Artificer. Scavengers look at the Hunter and see the goddess of vengeance and destruction that they’ve only ever heard of from stories.

Both of them have red fur and a scar on one eye, and will the time gap between campaigns, there’s a good chance that only a few Scavengers that saw the Artificer in person are even alive by that point in time (without even taking into account how the Artificer murdered so many Scavengers that it’s probably rare that a Scavenger saw them and lived to tell the tale), meaning that the Artificer is probably told about in Scavenger stories and her appearance would therefore differ, leaving the most obvious details like the scar on one eye and red fur.

#rain world #rain world downpour #rain world spoilers #the artificer #scavengers #also a sort of crack headcanon: #The Artificer can’t just not ascend #they can’t become an echo or forcibly ascend either #we never see an Artificer echo in campaigns past her time #(notable because things like whether or not the Hunter ascended affects the campaigns that happen afterwards) #so my headcanon as to why that is is that the Artificer is so angry #so violent #and so utterly bound to the cycle #that instead of getting fully caught between existence and nonexistence and becoming an echo #she tips ever so slightly towards existence and ends up fully coming back from the void fluid #or at least her consciousness does #her body is understandably vaporized by the void fluid so she ends up reincarnating like a creature that died of old age #the Saint can’t forcibly ascend her either #and if they could it would take an absurd amount of karma blasts to do so #she’s just so angry that she does the impossible and keeps clawing her way back to existence #‘rip and tear until it is done’

[houseswife]

doomed tragic yaoi is all fun and games until you start pondering the Life They Could’ve Had

#I’m emo over it alright #they would’ve been the worst ever parents but also the absolute best #wilson would’ve been such a great PTA dad he’d get invited to all the events #and the entire committee would’ve had a restraining order against house after he attempts to sabotage the 4 millionth competition #in favour of their kid #AUUUUURGGGHHHH #I know that they emphasised how Wilson wasn’t ready or stable enough to be a father #but he never really let go of that vision #and house was so good with rachel :( #they could’ve fostered traumatised kids and broken the cycle #I’m just being delusional atp #but they deserved the bbc johnlock domestic fathers ending #we deserve a soft epilogue #and whatnot. #house md #greg house #gregory house #hilson #james wilson #house/wilson #hatecrimes md

[alagaesia-headcanons]

! I made an interesting realization just now in the shower! On a couple of occasions, Eragon and Nasuada suggest that Murtagh should act in the way Tornac would have as a way to change for the better and, ultimately, change his true name to free himself from Galbatorix and fight for them instead. Eragon insinuates this without directly mentioning Tornac: "Look at someone whom you admire but who has chosen paths other than your own through life and model your actions upon his." But in the context of Murtagh's backstory, this advice strongly evokes Tornac. And Nasuada outright names him: "Ask yourself: what would Tornac have wanted you to do?"

But that's a very curious demand for them to make because Murtagh is already emulating Tornac. Consider what we know about him. Tornac served Galbatorix, he would have had to for the king to entrust him with Murtagh's care. They lived in Uru'baen together as Murtagh grew up with Tornac raising him and he would have had to be in Galbatorix's service for all that time. Yet, he had no love for the king given that, when Murtagh wanted to abandon the Empire and flee, he was immediately ready to join him and help him leave that very same night. So he served the Empire for many years even though he had no true desire to be support them or the king, in order to provide the care and protection that Murtagh needed, until Murtagh was ready to make his own choice and take his own risk and Tornac turned his back on the king for him without hesitation.

That's exactly what Murtagh is doing. By yielding to Galbatorix and complying with his commands, Murtagh is doing the same thing for Thorn. He's bowed to this broad, great evil so he can look after the needs of an individual when no one else is willing nor able to. He does what he does to prevent Thorn from being tortured, to keep him from being broken, helpless against the king were Murtagh to abandon him. So he doesn't, the same way Tornac never abandoned him. And in the end, they rebel in a very similar way too. When Thorn is ready to carve his own path and fight for the right to claim his own life for the first time, and Murtagh wants to reclaim the life he desired but thought lost, they stand by each other and break free from Galbatorix.

For him to act the way that Tornac would requires that period of reluctant subservience so he can save the one he loves most. They ask Murtagh to follow Tornac's example, ignorant to the fact that the actions they so disapprove of are doing exactly that. And I wonder if this is a root of Murtagh's defining anger, an anger at Eragon and Nasuada's implication that the compromises that saved his own life and provided him much needed love and support through his childhood- the compromises that saved Thorn, the partner of his heart, when no one else (certainly no one from the Varden) would have helped him- were wrong. That they were immoral, they were not worth while, they were not enough, they fell short, they were wrong. Because such an implication is really a dismissal of Murtagh and Thorn's wellbeing- arguably of their lives.

#eragon #inheritance cycle #murtagh #tornac #thank fuck for showers or i would never have any ideas ever at all amen #the varden whining: ohhh murtagh please be more like tornac so you can just conveniently end your own enslavement w/o any effort from us! #~pretty please??~ #murtagh: BITCH I ALREADY AM im caring for someone you never bothered to even try to save so he might some day live and thrive!!!!! #and murtagh and tornac were Right. sometimes thats whats needed. #how sexy of them to care

[mustangs-flames]

What if we gave "Cesar" some catnip?

Alt!Cesar's version of catnip is the taste of Mark's affection so make Mark genuinely laugh at something and you'll immediately start hearing that silly static humming noise lmao

#hail true body au #mustang answers! #htb alt!cesar #htb mark #even if he's in the other room or some other part of the house you'll hear it #mark's affection and happiness is a high dose dopamine rush for that weird little creature lmao #if you ever got mark to have a laughing fit or something alt!cesar would probably be overwhelmed by it. just. straight up unable to move- #off the couch humming so loudly which honestly would just make mark laugh even more. and thus the cycle never ends lol #alt!cesar is such a little freak (said with love and affection)

[they-them-pussy]

being a supernatural fan is whatever the opposite of 'tumblr ruining reading comprehension' is, but it's just as horrible. not only are the curtains blue, but several different writers specified the different shades that these curtains are. the curtains are simultaneously turquoise and ultramarine. you might be tempted to go OH!!! MAYBE IT'S A METAPHOR FOR DIFFERING PERCEPTIONS OF THE SAME THING!!! but no, this isn't on purpose. the curtains just accidentally stumbled into a vague idea that MIGHT be deep. but it's really not. or it might be. only the curtains know. you're left either watching it in horror or in intrigue as everything accidentally connects like the world's most disastrously entertaining wine glass stack.

#supernatural #spn #it's SOMEWHAT coherent during the first 5 seasons but then it just absolutely spirals out of control the longer it goes #case in point the ENTIRETY of the destiel debacle from the bisexual lighting to their literal dialogue to the finale #the way that the show ended literally where it started???? a show that's supposed to be about breaking cycles??? #they quote unquote defeated chuck but then (gestures at finale) #also i think it is absolutely insane that one of their canon bisexual characters. one of the very first i think. if not the most prominent #and im talking about CHUCK btw bc let's be real dean was never confirmed bi #i think it's insane that a bisexual character who says he is bi and who other characters acknowledge as bi #goes from a decently benevolent though still somewhat shitty character who lets free will run wild and helps out multiple times #to an outright malicious final boss in a sudden heel face turn withot trackable change #like they probably did not do that on purpose. BUT THAT'S WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. like HOLY SHIT the implications???FJDHDGDGSH #and then the suspected closeted bi character dies!!!! #spn funniest show ever. unmatched. unparalleled

[dykedvonte]

If Ulysses has a million haters, then I'm one of them. If Ulysses has one hater, then I'm THAT ONE. If Ulysses has no haters, that means I'm dead. If the world is with Ulysses than I’m against the world.

#this is slightly joking but like also not but also like am mixed on Ulysses on many factors #infuriating because i sympathize with his pain but it’s like #he is a well written and fundamentally flawed character whose hypocrisy I found doubly in #black characters I can tell were designed by white people with a semblance of an understanding of activism and bipoc oppression #but not enough for the character to not feel like hand holding for the majority white audience #plus personal grips with the whole twisted hairs thing and reference to slave braiding patterns #Ulysses irks me as a black person on a weird personal level and I can go into debt on why him being black is a big detractor for him to me #like he continues this cycle of distancing himself from his roots before remembering over and over again through his actions #he leave so much in his wake that the courier ends up correcting or helping like in honest hearts and old world blues because he’s self #righteous in a subtle way even to himself that he believes he stand out of his one man rule when he does not play an active hand #saw a post talk about how you choose to continue moving through his story and can leave at any moment and this it is partially your fault #but what of the oath that is set before you and is forced to take that he set up #I do not have to walk it but when I do the steps are not my own but those taken for me #you have to go out of your way to change it which is not something he expects because he’s playing by a story he’s been perpetuating in his #head about you two and the effect one man has when he’s continually been that one man more so than you as many of his actions directly lead #to the one you go through also the irony in the flag he continues to bear being the real reason he has no home #like he reps it when the package is likely enclave and thus use the same symbol #also still can’t get over how anyone could have delivered the package and he tries so hard to act like it was the couriers destiny or fate #when this was the one case of chance and that once man was likely a enclave engineer and how it’s really is never one man #it the process and he’s so annoying about it like he’s a cool character but if you don’t believe in his philosophy or already went through #these ideas cause they are very common talking points in poc especially BIPOC spaces he’s just old hashings and stunted #fallout #fallout new vegas #Ulysses you upset me but I’m like I feel you could be better if you weren’t so incessant #I don’t think I ever want to make a serious post stating this about him just because I’d start yapping and it’d never get finished #ulysses fnv #fnv ulysses #lonesome road

[dekarios]

You can talk about it and I don't think you ever stop missing dogs. I lost one this time last year and still miss her and I still miss the my dog that passed in 2012 too. They are family as far as I am concerned and you will probably always miss her.

Hope you are well and if you need to talk about it please do.

thank u this message rly helped

#fray.txt #ask #Anonymous #i miss my pippy too and i still talk about her like shes with us and send her pics when i show my dogs #and shes been gone awhile now.... i dont actually keep track of the dates ngl #i feel like toos just . touched me in a way that . idk . she was my therapy dog she was everything to me . #when i was at my most delusional i thought we were literal soulmates and spiritually connected and stuff #and when i was at my lowest i told her that im gonna stay alive for her. and that when shes gone i'll go too #its so hard breaking a dumb promise i should have never made #but life without her is so considerably worse . getting up out of bed is agony. doing anything just sucks #i cant do Anything without someone encouraging me cuz she would follow me everywhere without fail and shes not there anymore #i still have her beds in my room #i dont have her toys anymore cuz i buried them with her. she took one of my favourite blankets too #god i wish i could just . loop the last 10 years for the rest of my life #never ending cycle of getting her and losing her #i would do it again and again and again . she was the best thing that ever happened to me

[very-lost-hobbit]

Seeing so many people I once respected and even adored/admired prove themselves mask off antisemites when given the chance and an "appropriate" enough reason is so incredibly heartbreaking. So many left leaning and supposedly empathetic people apparently do not hear themselves right now.

#my entire heart to the jewish community because MAN. I know it's never GREAT but the last few months have been ROUGH. #Obligatory of COURSE I care about the people suffering in Gaza too but. I should not have to qualify this post by saying that. #My empathy contains mulititudes I can care about multiple things at once. #Anyways. I can't imagine how much harder all of this in its entirety is for people actually affected by it <3 <3 <3 #also it's very easy to criticize the current Israeli administration without being antisemetic because FUCK Bibi he's an enemy to peace #just as much as Hamas is! They both suck! Hey look at that I just did it! #Wish things could hurry up and get the two state solution activists in the region have been calling for & an end to the cycle of pain. #Also. INCHERESTING how it was ''poor poor Russians they can't help where they live :('' vs ''ALL JEWS ARE COMPLICIT IN THIS ATROCITY'' #really really INTERESTING 🤔🤔🤔 (not to make everything ever about my main mantle- BUT. lol) #I also think some North Americans esp are projecting their own guilt for living on stolen land onto this conflict #but that's a different conversation #antisemitism #kat gets personal #me

[princeinsomniavoid]

I can't even think right now man I've just curled up into a ball and It hurts

#adventure time #fiona and cake spoilers #like not even joking #not even a little bit #this physically is putting me in agony #I'm not going to be ok for the ending of this #pen ward adam muto and natasha allgeri sure know how to just fuck my entire shit up #like... i can't even try to come up with some sort of theory of how this all ends because none of its good #either Simon dies; puts the crown back on and dies on a figurative level starting this hellish cycle all over again #or goes back to Ooo and continues living his miserable existence without Betty #or lives in limbo with Golbetty which he wont last long in #it just #i don't even know #i have no idea how this is going to go but i know im not ready for it in any capacity #im never going to be normal ever again #im never going to be able to think about anything ever again #im never going to recover #this is going to be Come Along With Me all over again except worse I just know it #im going to kms #i need to sleep #its 4 in the morning #im not okay

[tin-can-iron-man]

No but like seriously it's almost been 10 years and it's crazy that the MCU introduced Pietro, someone who historically has SO MUCH CHARACTER TO HIM, let him have like 3 lines and turn him into a one off with a shock value death the movie didn't need.

#I'll be honest I don't go out of my way for quicksilver comics but when he shows up in other ones I'm reading he's just SO present! #he has SO MUCH of a personality and it kills me not even from a fan standpoint but just a writing standpoint #there are many other ways to have wanda have her moment (which was the entire purpose of his death and therefore character 🙄) #like. just from a story standpoint it would have been on the nose but you could have her fail to prevent the death of some kids parents #and her breakdown is in the realization that she has perpetuated the cycle that victimized her in the past #becoming the monster™️ #and YOU COULD HAVE THAT BE HER/THEIR CONCLUSION TO THEIR BACKSTORY ARC WITH TONY #just a fucking conversation. that theres blood on their hands whether it was with good intentions or not #the only thing they can try to be is better #THE END #THE FUCKING END. NO LOOSE END THERE. godDAMNIT #I'm never ever going to fucking forgive the mcu to what they did to wanda but they do deserve a special kick in the balls for pietro too

[dullahandyke]

i look at some of u guys talking abt a new show u watched or a new thing u read and im like. holy shit thats a thing u can do. im in awe of u. i spend my time slowly ping-ponging between several interests whose base componants i can never experience because i get scard

#right now its danganronpa again grin. did u know ive been into it on and off for lets say 7 years at this point #and ive never once played it myself. i have it installed on this laptop ready to go and i just! never open it! #because if Im the one playing it then i have to pay attention and i get scared #but if im watching a lets player i just naturally pay attention without the pressure #ive talked before how i always feel i need to have the smart cool takes on shit #n this deep plays into that #idk boti was good for me bcos nobody fucking knew what it was so nobody could judge me for pardoning anotsu's crimes bcos he was hot #so i probs need to do that again #yknow a thing where i disconnect from anything that anyone knows about and get really really into some dipshit manga from 2008 #but also like. i get a lot of my media recs from people talking abt what they like #which then means i defacto have someone who is gonna know if my takes are shit #and like even now. im watching mop cycle w dri and im having fun w it #but i feel bad bcos i see so many ppl like This Is The Best Anime Ever and i just like. dont get it #like i can actively feel the messages and shit whooshing over my head #its a fine anime! i'm having fun watching it! but i don't get all the commentary abt pacifism or whatever #idk. something something my need to be The Smart Kid The Bookworm Kid that went unchecked too long without peers to challenge me #so now im here like Uh Oh #and like this wouldnt be the end of the world (save for its impact on my mood n stuff) #but also like. i am an english student. i should know this shit. but i stragiht up do not feel smart enough to sometimes #i keep coasting by on the assumption that im a smart kid and i'll automatically be better than my peers #and im being disproven #i got an english exam back tonight and i got like 63% #and i like college! i just dont like. college. #anywho its approaching 3am and i have a 9am tomorrow morning which means bedtime

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

#panic attacks leave me feeling like shit for the rest of the day and that seems illegal #what do you mean i go through th worst feelings ever for a number of minutes and when it ends i still feel like absolute shit #the embarrassment of being seen as you lose all control of your body and emotions #and then your brain staying foggy and shitty all day #panic attacks should be a one time thing #i hate them! #kdfhgdfg #i was researching phsychiatrist yesterday because every day it's getting harder to deal with my brain hating me #but boy oh boy are they expensive!!! mental health doctors are never covered by my health inssurance and they're one of the most expensive #types of doctors out there and you can't just go once. it's a long term thing #so i very much doubt i'll be able to afford it #specially because my stupid work is not regular so maybe i can afford like 2 sessions and then never again for like 4 months... #i hate this so fucking much #and it's sort of a vicious cycle because i can't pay for therapy because i don't have regular work #and i can't find regular work because my anxiety paralyzes me most of the time... #but it's fine... could be worse #we still can afford food and pay for services so it's fine #i just wish my entire wasn't in other people's hands you know? #the people ruining this country the people who politely say ''thanks but you're not a good fit for our team'' etc etc #angel talks #personal #please ignore this post it's actually fine. i'm fine and not in danger of doing something stupid or whatever #it's all fine i'm just venting cause as i said my brain is foggy and putting things out there helps a bit

[jirai-kei-freak]

why does it have to be this way

#Why #I was doing so good this past year #There were times I was literally crying tears of joy because I haven’t felt as happy as I was in years #Now shit’s coming back and I don’t like it #Every fucking time man #“Well life is supposed to have its ups and downs” HAVE YOUVE WENT THROUGH WHAT I WENT THROUGH #summer through all the way to the end of 2023 was one of two of the most miserable times I ever went through #I was almost never happy #Had cheap laughs for like 20 minutes then back to misery #There wasn’t a single day were I didn’t wish i was dead #Literally I would wake up and i immediately wanted to start crying #Thats how bad things were #You could see it in my face how lonely and miserable i was #I hadnt felt that empty for like a good few years since then #It was to the point where I thought there was never going to be light in my life ever again #I went through some fucked up shit and now im traumatized 10x more then i was before #The first day of school was a weak after some extremely traumatic stuff happened man #Then the new year started and everything was starting to get better #I started taking medication #I was much more happier #My self esteem boosted up #I started working on myself and became a better person #I dont think i ever had a period of my life where i felt THAT BETTER #Like I said i was crying because I had felt a massive weight lifted off my shoulders #It literally felt like i saw the light #I legitimately thought things were getting truly getting better #It’s just gonna be the same damn cycle over and over again huh? #For several months I feel depressed as shit #Then for a few months things start to clear up #Then suddenly and abruptly things go back to the shit

[sixftmp3]

less than 24 hours until we get the first idkhow single in two years, and the first BRAND NEW, UNHEARD idkhow music in three!!!

#me.txt #i dont think its truly hit me yet that theres going to be new idkhow #like. a song we have never ever EVER heard before #going into this new album cycle theres no like. songs that only have live performances. theres nothing we've already heard #and are just waiting for a studio version of #like mx sinister and lights go down and door were cases of that #but this album cycle doesnt have any loose ends so to speak #GOD ITS SO EXCITING

[wickershells]

txt

#i am actually the worst person alive every now and then the weight of all the guilt and grief and humiliation really hits me #i am not liked at all and i keep eroding all of my remaining relationships and i have fucked up my life beyond repair and i am #truly never getting out of this cycle no matter what meds i take at what dosage or if i talk out my feelings or if i keep them inside #or if i get therapy or if i dont if i have friends if i dont if my family likes me if they dont if my dog is alive or if hes dead its just #me theres something broken in me no matter how hard i believe and try and hope and pray i just wont get better i always end up here #i have consistently been the worst most absent friend i have ruined everything ive touched i feel contagious im contagious #i cant expect people to keep loving me and i definitely cant expect them to keep saying it over and over when it isnt true and they dont #want to and people dont even ask if im alright anymore they already know im not and just dont care because how could they #i dont get better it would just weigh on them all the time and how fair is that really i wish no one had ever met me i wish i wish #i betray all my promises to myself and others and im so stupid im so dumb and i just. theres nothing at all in here #i cant stand the loneliness anymore but i dont deserve anything else. do you see #and its my fault people no longer care its all my fault im so alone. i feel so alone. no one can know me and love me and they will all #be fine they have everyone they need they have everyone they want. i am no one at all not even to myself #theres an abyss where my personhood should be #i have to leave i have to get out of here