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#just to make things worse later on in different way
creedslove · 1 day
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I dont know if you are taking requests but I just imagined joel miller having a bad day, that man is sore and cuddles😭😭😭 and cockwarming while he caresses your back and you caress his?? idk😭😭😭i saw the pedro photo with the glasses and omgggg Also how would you think pedro boys would react to trying cockwarming? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader
A/N: omg baby, I love Joel, he needs to be cuddled and helped to relax, our poor handsome contractor 😍 love you too, so much 😻
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• Joel's work is hard and difficult, not only the physical aspect of it, although it is a lot because he carries heavy things, he does manual work and above all, he has to handle people: clients, suppliers, associates, employees, you name it, he's gotta handle it all
• so it's not only the physical part of working, but rather the emotional and mental sides too, and eventually, some days can be worse than others and when it just happens to be one of these days, Joel feels comforted to know he can just come home to you, because he knows he's got you, and you can count on each other for that
• it's no secret you always cook dinner for your handsome boyfriend, sometimes you make full meals for him, or sometimes you just bake him a chicken/meat pie or even those egg sandwiches that are to die for, whatever it is, he knows he can go home and count on that, but not only food can solve a tiring and stressful day, sometimes he's just dragging himself around and he needs his darlin' to make things right for him
• you are always willing to make him feel good, already knowing Joel from the moment he gets off his truck, you can tell if he's energetic or exhausted, if he's in a good or a bad mood and so on, so when you see him walking home looking almost defeated, his curls sticking to his oily forehead because of the heat, you know it's your time to act and make him feel good
• the first thing you do for your man is to hand him a refreshing bottle of water; yes he can drink a pop or a beer, but water first, it will make a difference and help him feel much better, then you can greet him, and usually as you snake your arms around his body, you can feel how damp his sweaty clothes are, he needs to relax and you are willing to help him
"come on, handsome, let's take a shower, you'll feel alright soon"
• you convince him, kissing his lips gently and nuzzling his neck, taking him by the hand and guiding him to the bathroom, helping Joel undress slowly, first his shirt is gone, then his heavy jeans, his socks and underwear and soon enough, you got your handsome boyfriend under the stream of shower, the way the water fall all over his head, wetting his curls and making him look like a kicked puppy caught in the rain
"you're so tired my love, let me take care of you"
• you whisper to him, knowing it doesn't have to become erotic just yet, you and Joel will have time for it later, but because you know he needs to relax, so you grab your shampoo and spread it all over his hair, you know how much he always compliments you and your smell, so why not treat him to your products? It will make him feel good and relaxed, and that, you enjoy it a lot
• once his hair is done, then it's time for soap and body scrub, Joel never really paid much attention to it, but he cannot deny it feels great, he's at your mercy, your hands caressing and making him feel all the time great
• and once you both step out of the shower, you and him decide to go to the couch, there's no trouble in having some lazy dinner once in a while just scattered around the couch and relaxing completely
• once Joel is done eating, you can finally go to his shoulders, giving him some rubs and massaging softly, you feel the tension knots under your finger tips and all you can do is to whisper to him again asking him to relax and remember the next day will be a new and better day
• and then you both start making out a little, it just feels so good and natural as you kiss, the way you run your hands over each other's body and make each other feel much better, it can end up in sex or not, but it doesn't really matter, you love each other deeply and that's enough for the two of you, because you're there when he needs you and Joel is there when you need him ❤️
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am-i-interrupting · 2 days
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Hi! I love your Hazbin Hotel stuff and I wanted to make a request. If you haven’t done something like this, could you write the Hazbin characters, specifically Vox, Lucifer, Husk, and maybe Lute with an S/O (would prefer fem but G/N is fine) who has bad body dysmorphia? Like, they can never take compliments about their body, always thinking they’re overweight, not eating, etc. If this is too difficult/uncomfortable, totally understand! Would hate to trigger anything. Hope you have a great day/night!
If you like what I’m doing consider tipping me for priority requests & access to characters I don’t usually write for such as Charlie, Valentino, Carmilla, and more.
Husk
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Husk will never compliment you in public after figuring out that you hate to be complimented.
That does not mean that he’ll never compliment you.
He will because he truly thinks you’re beautiful.
He simply elects to do it in private so he will be able to explain to you in length why he disagrees.
He wants you to understand why he loves every single thing about you.
Maybe you don’t agree but he will let you know why he thinks it’s all so beautiful.
He doesn’t try to make you love it all like he does but he will at least try to make you accept that he loves it.
Lucifer
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Lucifer can’t understand why you don’t see your own beauty.
At least at first.
Then he realizes how close self loathing is close to depression and how they can often intertwine and how hypocritical it is to be so befuddled by your lack of understanding of his love of you & your body when he can’t understand how giving people free will is a good thing in any capacity and wow— he was too hard on you and himself.
Hello, something new to unpack with a therapist.
He definitely starts being more understanding after that revelation.
Not that he was ever cruel but he was a lot more insistent on how amazing you are not understanding that his insistence may not help but could make it worse.
It could make you think he was lying, covering up some hidden disdain with an over abundance of praise like he does with sinners who thank him for free will.
He’s not.
Make no mistake. He truly does love and adore you and every single part of you is amazing in his eyes but he understands.
He lets up on his pouring compliments and his combativeness over whether or not he means it.
He still compliments you but he no longer fights with you.
He just says what he thinks and then goes on, ignoring any expression of disbelief with a small, “A difference of opinion.”
Lute
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You cannot dislike her partner.
Not allowed. No one can dislike her amazing partner.
Will spare with you when you disregard her compliments.
She means what she says.
Why would she waste her breath with words that weren’t true when she doesn’t have to?
Everything she says is said because she means it.
You best learn that.
Vox
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No, no, no, no.
You don’t love your body? Unacceptable.
“Velvette! A photo shoot is in order right now!” “I’m busy!” “Well, clear you schedule!”
Velvette actually has a way of making you feel a bit more confident without seeming like she’s trying.
The photo shoot actually goes well even if you refuse to look at the pictures.
Of course, that doesn’t last long because Vox puts them up in his office, just too large and gigantic to ignore.
He has pictures of you everywhere because he loves looking at you.
Will kiss every part of you in front of a mirror while saying why he loves every part and forcing you to look at yourself otherwise he’ll stop. He records the entire thing to watch back later.
If you like what I’m doing consider commissioning me for canon/canon stories AND personalized canon/reader stories.
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decepti-thots · 1 day
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while i'm talking about Whirl, one thing i've been meaning to talk about for ages just in a 'i am aware some people may not actually know this, and it hardly gets mentioned in fandom' is that Whirl in Interiors talking about briefly trying to change his name when he was a flight instructor at the flight academy is a reference to a passage in Bullets, which is in retrospect very obviously him:
Jetstream had taught him to recognize his inherent worthlessness. In front of the other cadets he'd always been supportive, but in private he would berate him for showing off and for getting ideas above his station. “You think you're something special?” he used to say. “You think you’re better than the rest, better than me, just because you can turn a few tricks? On a good day - on your best day - I’d say you were unremarkable.” Rotorstorm’s only response to Jetstream’s verbal abuse was to make jokes. If you can make light of the situation, he'd think, it can’t be as bad as it seems. Over time, Jetstream’s verbal abuse... evolved. On one occasion, Rotorstorm was pushed against a wall. On another, he was punched to the floor. Before long, he was on the receiving end of sustained and entirely unprovoked beatings. The worst day of Rotorstorm’s life - worse than the day war was declared; worse than the day of the Simanzi Massacre - was the day the IAA installed a Cryogenic Regeneration Chamber. He couldn't remember what he’d done to deserve that night's battering, but as he lay on the floor of the aircraft hangar, his torso freshly pummeled, his spinal strut bent at a right angle and his face reduced to a shallow bowl of oil and splinters, he saw something he would never forget: Jetstream was standing over him, fists clenched and head cocked, coolly appraising his options. And the look of exhilaration on his face as he wondered where to place the next punch had been terrifying. Rotorstorm had passed out before Jetstream had finished shoveling him into the CR Chamber, and had woken up the next day without a single scratch on his body. Jetstream had left overnight; he moved to a training facility in another province and later changed his name. Since then, Rotorstorm had seen him only once: he'd been sitting in the front row when Rotorstorm had been awarded the Novic Medal for Outstanding Valor, and he’d been clapping and cheering more loudly than anyone else.
and this is a really fascinating thing to consider for me because if you just describe the whole thing briefly in the abstract, it's gonna likely sound like one of two things:
whirl tried to turn over a new leaf with a new name, and it worked for a time but ultimately he couldn't and went back to his old life
whirl tried to turn over a new leaf with a new name, but he couldn't and was just as much of an aggro wildcard as ever so gave up
but this is... kind of not either of those, including the last one? whirl IS acting like the violent, bitter, unpredictable asshole we come to meet in MTMTE and know he was during the war, to an extent, but he's also clearly succesfully keeping up something of a facade of really inhabiting that 'not Whirl, nope, i'm a Normal Flight Instructor' in public. it's only to rotorstorm he's not, seemingly. (and even then, the way rotorstorm describes him here is... really cold and deliberate in a way that feels kind of different to what we see later.)
obviously it's. i mean it's SO deeply unpleasant, very effectively communicated in terms of how awful and traumatising that kind of thing is btw a+ but also Jesus Fucking Christ, but it also suggests to me a very specific experience Whirl is having in this period of his life that isn't quite either of those obvious choices. pokes at it. god. what the fuck is going through your head you terrible helicopter you.
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kindaasrikal · 1 day
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So, Kai and Morro. Their similarities are the same amount to their differences.
Before in my Nya and Morro one i said how Kai (and Lloyd) are two of the most different to Morro. I still think that, but i also think they have their similarities.
The biggest similarity between Kai and Morro is how like minded they are when it comes to goals. They both gain one and fulfil it to the end, similarly to Nya. They would do anything to make sure their goal is achieved because not only would it benefit them but it would also benefit others. Impress others. Protect others.
This is driven by their passion as ninja and their need to become better. Their passion is what fuels them to keep going, to stay motivated in what they believe in or wish to achieve. Kai is shown as one of the most passionate people on the show, and Morro is shown to be just as passionate as him, and both their passion ends up not only fuelling them to achieve their goals, but also in their own anger and temper.
Their anger and outbursts tend to be fuelled by the passion backing them up in their opinions and beliefs, and they desperately need to get their points across and do that through their temper as its the easiest method (not the most effective tho). Both Kai and Morro are two individuals who at first had large egos, finding themselves and only the the ones most close to them as important (barely for Morro, the only person he cared for was Wu, who didn’t need any sort of protection or help). However, its shown for both of them that their egos were fragile things, quickly crumbling to bits as their prides took over. Their pride is what makes them so similar, their need to succeed and achieve better for whatever reason, whether its to be as strong as possible or whether to finally be important, a place.
But then things tend to differ.
Both Morro and Kai were orphans, dirt poor and unable to gain knowledge like how others their age do. Neither have a home, and neither had parents there to support them until later in life. But Kai had one thing that Morro didn’t, one person that created Kai’s whole purpose and need as a ninja. Someone to protect, some who was under his responsibility, someone like Nya.
Because Kai had Nya, he understood the need to protect and raise others up from the ground, he understood struggles of others and understood that he had to help others. Because of Nya, Kai gained his biggest qualities that developed with the ninja. His sympathy, his empathy, and his heart. He wanted to have the power of protecting, so the people he cared for didn’t need to worry anymore (so they wouldn’t leave him anymore).
Morro didn’t have that, he didn’t have somebody he needed to protect and have responsibility over. He only had himself, and it essentially turned his thought process into (undertale reference) “Kill or be killed” kinda situation. He had never relied on anyone, never needed anyone, and never had anyone need him.
Kai had a purpose, and it was to protect. Morro didn’t have a purpose, so he had a goal to motivate him.
People don’t tend to realise that the most smallest of situations, or words, or actions, can leave so much of an effect on a person. Especially a child.
Their situations were so similar, yet so insignificantly different that no one tends to notice how to drastically changed them as people.
I feel like theres more to add to this, and that i haven’t said my point correctly, but i have school in the morning and i need to sleet so enoughs enough. ALSO: im not comparing their situations as two orphans in a “who had it worse?” Kinda way, both their situations happen irl and shouldn’t be compared in such a way when they each have their own struggles. It was only to analyse how it affected them and the such, please take care of any child you see people they have it rough now a days 😭
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g-kat423 · 11 hours
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If Alcina being a lesbian is so important to you why does she have an ex husband in your fic
I’m going to assume this is a genuine question without malicious intent so I will provide a real answer.
This could actually apply to 2 of my fics, but I’m guessing you’re talking about Something Sweet since it’s the one that I update more frequently.
Gonna plop this under a read more since it’s gotten long
Alright, so, the reason for her having an ex husband has been stated throughout the fic. She felt she had to be closeted and to meet certain expectations set for her both by society and by her parents. Sure, people are more accepting now, not that there isn’t still bigotry or pressure to conform, but with the fic taking place in 2022(I started it in 2022 and only a few months have passed in fic time and while I never explicitly stated the year, that’s what everything is based off of, giving Alcina a 1978 birth year and the reader 2001) that means Alcina got married in 2008. Idk if you were around during that time, but homophobia was rampant, being gay was a punchline. It’s not something you would talk about, there’s no way to know if your friends would actually stay your friends and not spread vicious rumors about you. Marriage equality in most states, not a thing. Again, bigots still exist, but it’s generally not this life ruining thing for people to find out you’re queer. Alcina would have come of age in the 90’s which would make that even worse.
That aside, I tend to explore themes of coming out later and families not being being accepting because it’s all I know. I tend to process my trauma through my writing. That and I’m sure it’s no secret that I’ve taken heavy inspiration from Carol only with a sugar baby twist. I also wanted her to have younger, biological children since I felt that would be fitting of a 44 year old divorcee rather than having adopted adult children like she does in canon. Sure, they could have been adopted or older, but there needed to be a reason for her to stay with Kurt for the amount of time that she did. I needed her connected to Karl in someway too. Heisenberg was originally supposed to have a twin brother so I went off of that and now Alcina has her annoying ex brother-in-law(who actually isn’t so bad in this universe, but Alcina won’t hear of it)
As for The Fall of the House of Dimitrescu. I’m sure no one is asking, but in that case Alcina was weak from her hereditary blood disease and didn’t have the energy to be defiant the same way she was as a child. Her father had lost his wife and he had no desire to continue caring for Alcina so he set her up with somebody who she reluctantly went along with. In that case, Alcina wasn’t even aware of her attraction to women yet, she just didn’t understand why she didn’t feel a spark with her soon to be husband. She also assumed it was normal for sex to be an unpleasant “wifely duty.” Once she finally made the connection and had an affair with a woman, turns out she liked sex quite a bit lmao.
Idk, all this aside, I know I’m not the only one who has given Alcina a husband in some context yet still fully believes shes a lesbian. I also have plenty of fics where she’s never had one. The first multichapter fic I wrote she literally left her home and privileged life behind to struggle until she made it as musician rather than marry a man. I don’t think it’s a crime to explore other possibilities. I have so many different headcanons for Alcina and all are universe dependent whether that be modern AU, the canon compliant timeline where she never marries, the canon compliant timeline where she does, and all the other in between stuff that diverges from canon. She’s one of my favorite characters of all time and I love fleshing her out.
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mrsbsmooth · 17 hours
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I don't know if this is a safe space for me to share my opinion on S8 but I disagree with your take on WLW relationships in S8. As someone who is exclusively WLW, I've got to say that Season 8 is the worst season that I have ever played. It's not worth it. I regret every second that I have spent on it. I wish I never played it. I feel like I have wasted my time. Watching Claudia grind on Theo made me feel physically sick. If you're bi, you're automatically locked out of the WLW route and Bea dances for Claudia instead. If you're doing a WLW route, the two female LIs are merged together. There are only two female LIs and they're hidden behind a gem wall. You can't couple up with them until the final week. The male characters are forced on MC no matter how many times you reject them. Being LGBT is treated like a fun side mission. It's something you're only allowed to do behind closed doors. You can pay to make out with a girl in every episode and the other characters will keep pushing the OG guy and CA guy on you either way. If you're romancing a girl, you're made to feel like a cheater. The WLW routes in S8 are written to be a bonus thing for bi women to do once they finish the good routes. They are not written to be the main course. The S8 WLW routes  are something to play around with but not something to commit to. S5 was no fun but at least we could be in an unofficial relationship with Dana and we could choose to befriend Alfie. We could couple up with Vicky in S7. S8 is like S6 but somehow even worse. The openly homophobic and racist comments that I have seen some straight players make about Bea and Hari are only making it harder to feel accepted. What hurts the most is that MC was a bombshell and she was not coupled up with her OG LI before the Casa. They could have let us pick a female LI the moment MC walked into the Villa. There was no better way to justify a WLW main route. The way they waste Luna and Felicity is unbelievable. I wouldn't recommend S8 to anyone who isn't super into the male LIs
Hi lovely, of course!! Always happy to hear a different opinion as long as they're respectfully put, which yours absolutely is, and as long as you don't mind me disagreeing back!
[Note: Sarah's just pointed out to me that you asked for a safe space and my response doesn't really do that and just disagrees with you. She's right, and I apologise for not being clearer about the fact I was planning to do so when I hit post. But you are always welcome to share your opinion here. I can't guarantee a safe space, but I can guarantee an open mind.] Because I do genuinely believe that the WLW routes in S8 are better than they have been previously.
I'm not going to be addressing homophobic and racist comments about Bea and Hari. My advice for those? Stay the hell off Reddit. I'm not getting into the way this fandom talks about race, especially for Asian islanders. I just want to talk about the WLW routes as that was the main point of your ask.
I want to make sure I've acknowledged and responded to everything you said, so please see below.
[This got long AF. TL;DR at the end.]
Locked out of routes, and Male LIs being forced on you
This isn't new to this season, and in my opinion it's been done dramatically better than previous seasons. I've played all of them, and almost every single season holds the female LI back until the end. Marisol, Elisa, Najuma, Angie, Dana, Lulu, Bella, Chloe, Flo, Bonnie, I don't think you could couple up with a single one of them until the final recoupling. The only exceptions were S1 and S3, I think? I believe you could get with Talia slightly earlier (and have Sammi come in later as a LI for the guy who otherwise would be dumped), and AJ/Yasmin you could couple up with and make Tai and Ciaran get together. But that's only 2 seasons from 8.
(Note: I see you said you could couple up with Vicky in S7, and I'll be honest, I barely played S7 as I found the writing itself extremely lacklustre. So I'll have to take your word for it that they somehow made that work.)
I get that it's frustrating to be separated from a female LI until late game. It's a sentiment I've heard every single season since I started playing alongside the releases. But realistically, this is how the game is structured. Love Island, as a premise, is based on heterosexual relationships. Pairing off and being in heterosexual couples, etc. Same as something like 'the Bachelor'. Two female contestants could be together, sure. But that's not how the show is structured. The only real solutions have been in S1 and S3, both of which I've already mentioned. I'd love to see more MLM couples made canon, or creative ways of letting us couple with women earlier, but I don't think there's one simple solution. This particular show is aimed at het couples. As unfair as it may seem, that's how the game is structured. (Crossing my fingers for canon MLM couples. PLEASE!)
I also disagree that WLW routes are written to be a bonus thing for bi women to do once they finish the good routes. Claudia's route has been a main route since day one in the villa. The fact that you can only have a relationship with either Theo OR Claudia means they intended from the very beginning to have whichever one of that couple you choose be the slow burn route- the route that you can't get on until the very end.
To say that 'Watching Claudia grind on Theo made me physically sick'-- Congratulations and welcome to the slowburn route 😂 I feel exactly the same way when Theo REJECTS ME OUTRIGHT and says he's only interested in Claudia, or when Suresh's heartrate gets raised the most by Lulu, or when I finally couple with Jake and he tells me I should pursue Levi. Don't you think the fact that it's had such an impact on you shows how well-written she is as a female LI? Claudia is AMAZING. But she's also bisexual. She's allowed to be torn between a male and a female LI and want to explore relationships with both, and I don't think it's fair to be angry that she's playing out all her options. That just means she's a well-written bisexual character. (Side note may I remind you that you've been able to take Claudia to the hideaway, and sleep in a bed with her, whereas Theo girls were only able to KISS the dude for the first time within the last week!!!! 😭) I think the only canonical lesbian routes are Angie from S4 and A.J. from S3. But even so, they're both questioning while in-villa and only come out either towards the end or in the post-season. You can watch AJ's route on Youtube if you didn't get a chance to play. Also, you're not locked out of the WLW route if you're bi/into men. Only if you're interested in Theo specifically. This is definitely somewhere they could improve-- I wanted Theo and Claudia, but eventually went back to play a straight route for Theo. However, I DESPERATELY wanted to flirt with Bea. It would've been wonderful if we'd been able to flirt with her separately. (I think I did get this option, but I believe it may have been a glitch). An option early in the game when the female LI asks you could be:
Yes, I'm into you!
No, I'm not into you, but I might be into other women
No, I'm not into women.
The Female LIs are merging together
Welcome to Love Island the Game by Fusebox games, where all the love interests merge and the personalities don't matter. You're not alone here, and it's not NEARLY as bad as previous seasons. Watch Najuma, Bruno, and JAMES have exactly the same dialogue in S4 despite being wildly different personalities. Watch Lewie, Jamal and Ryan be completely interchangeable. This isn't exclusive to WLW routes.
The female LIs are hidden behind a gem wall.
Again, this is the same for everyone, even players on a straight route. FB are greedy.
Being LGBT is treated like a side mission
It's something you're only allowed to do behind closed doors. You can pay to make out with a girl in every episode
This is hard. I get why you feel like this, anon, I really do. But I genuinely do think that this is the devs trying to give you something. They know it's frustrating to have to wait so long to couple with a female LI, so they try and give you bonus opportunities along the way to connect with your love interest. Almost every single smut scene written in the scripts has a female alternative. Again, I'm not saying that it's perfect, but having looked at and manipulated the scripts for four seasons now, I can absolutely assure you that this has not always been the case. They ARE improving and giving you more opportunities to spend time with your female LI than you had in previous seasons.
TL;DR
I'm not saying S8 is a perfect season for WLW routes.
The part I'm disagreeing with is where you said it's the worst season.
I absolutely disagree with that. There are far worse seasons. Even the golden child Season 2 didn't let you couple up with a woman until right at the end, watching her graft and grind on everyone BUT you. We also don't even know for sure that we can't couple up with a girl until the last week. The game's still being released. (I won't be surprised if that's the case though.)
I think Claudia and Bea are EXCELLENT female love interests in comparison with what we've had previously. They're both beautiful, they have unique personalities, they have very different routes (Claudia's confused between you and Theo, Bea's your bestie to lover and she's got terrible taste in men, dear god please save her).
I understand WANTING more WLW routes, but from a development point of view, there are simply not enough opportunities in the real-life structure of LITG to have fully blown out WLW routes. And even if they were, FB Games are not going to be financially motivated to do so. Their main customer base ($$$) is pursing a het route, so that’s who they’re creating for. They can't even get through the hetero routes without the characters merging personalities. There are other games doing this well, including fan-made games, which I'd recommend checking out. I don't have the link handy to the game pages, but check out @thatwheelchairchick, I believe she's working on an alternative game?
Anyway, I hope that clarifies my position on why I think they're worth playing. Sorry that it turned into an essay.
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dennisboobs · 7 months
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do you guys ever sit and remember that dennis takes a mental health day is an episode that exists
#ada speaks#i think i could probably recite the entire one sided phone conversation he has with daisy by heart and i havent seen the ep in months#i don't know how to explain it but#from what little ive read of ross' writing it feels like. when you click onto a fanfic and you feel immediate deep trust of the author#like it just clicks#the cookbook characterization specifically. is like.#i would put my life in your hands#and im sure we will get more eps by him and i really hope that continues because i think its been a very long time since the shows had#writers that i feel Get the characters in a way that feels effortless rather than. overcompensating.#like you can smell that writer's signature no matter how hard they try to cover it up with jokes and subversions#which isnt always a bad thing and im sure if we do get more maloney eps i'll pick up on his writers quirks too#but it doesn't feel like he's trying to copy anyone/pull from old eps it feels like he has a good grasp on things which makes it feel fresh#i find that long running shows hit a point where episodes start to feel less cohesive and more like. segmented short films#but if you have a really good group of writers and they find their groove its like. yeah. ok.#i think season 3 is a good study because marder and rosell's influence is all over the entire season#later seasons you can literally just. Feel which eps they worked on because its got a completely different vibe from the rest of the season#16 still suffers from that segmentation but#i think all the first time sunny writers (and nina's first solo ep) were all absolutely fuckin bangers and they've got a good team in there#anyway. characterization of dennis flipflops a lot. but the rest of the gang arguably gets it worse at times#i think megan's dee is the absolute worst aside from conor galvin's#and i understand wanting to write her as a girlfailure who is just. horrible. but.#ok. comparing self help book dee to ross' cookbook dee. i dont even have to say anything do i.#she's like. The Woman. in the self help book. and i fucking could not stand it. ross' dee is so perfect though#and his frank. MAN.#EVERYONE FUCKING RUINS FRANK.#i think marder and rosell's frank is a lot of fun because hes clearly based on marder's dad and acts believably#a lot of writers struggle to capture his. frank-ness.#he's sort of suffered from like. bland pervy senile old man writing for a long time#and ross brought back him actually being a competent businessman#IM OUT OF TAGS IM SHUTTING UP
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crying over the richard ayoade stuff for the second time today. it is so exhausting to be a trans person. I hate it. (not that this wouldn’t still suck if I was cis but it’s very different.) it feels so stupid to say this about a guy who’s mostly done weird dorky comedies but he’s literally been the person I’ve looked up to most for nearly half my life. I’ve been going through a lot lately and he’s part of like 90% of the things I turn to for comfort. like what the fuck do I even do now. what am I supposed to do with this
edit: changed this post to be unrebloggable because it’s quite personal and in the following rbs I get even more personal so. just felt weird. but I don’t mind that a couple people did rb it already!
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quietwingsinthesky · 11 months
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like. okay. i have no real horse in the race of “which brother is the secret bad abuser” because the show does not actually care about that or think that either of them is actually treating each other that badly (except for when sam get manipulated, which is always his own fault and he should suffer for it /s)
but what i will say is that the way dean is written sometimes manages to make me more uncomfortable than any of the villains on this show. dean scares me. completely unintentionally, they did write a guy who only gets Worse over time, and it’s compelling, and it’s upsetting for me to watch.
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now that i finally have dates and somewhat more official permission from my work to try and visit my brother in japan, my face is melting off raiders of the lost ark-style as i look at the prices
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rotisseries · 2 years
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i love that every time I see the general audience hating on mike, it's always because of will? like they'll be like ''oh mike's a shitty friend, he's awful to will, he only pays attention to his girlfriend'' there will be the occasional "he's not a great boyfriend" but it's like, an add-on, like an afterthought? which is so funny, because even at his WORST mike treats will way better than el actually. like I'm a mike apologist obviously but if I was going to be listing reasons to be a mike hater, I would START WITH "his girlfriend got humiliated by an ENTIRE roller rink, and he only gave a shit about his friend not paying attention to him, AND THEN freaked out on his girlfriend for retaliating towards her bully"
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craycraybluejay · 6 months
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I purposely put myself in situations that inspire and stoke less than healthy patterns or put myself closer to said situations and then wonder why im feeling all insane. I think I want to convince myself that it's 'all temporary' and that whatever happened before in my head won't happen again. But it will. If only I could go off the deep end in one fell swoop in every way ever. Even that horrible thing you're thinking about, whatever it is. Yes, even that one. Just do everything terrible ever and then end it with suicide which is also Terrible Thing bc God forbid someone has autonomy over a life he not only didn't ask for but was given little reason to stay in. Ruin everyone's opinion of me. Inspire only fear and vitriol. Hatred and hurt and pain pain PAIN. Sure! I am a bad person! What are you going to do about it! By the time you figure out enough to send a mob after me, I'll already be long dead. You'll have to wash the smell of rot out of your fucking walls. Bitch.
Wish I could just. Grow from morbid into truly heinously unforgivable like that corpse flower. Despite what anyone believes, it would be growth. Just in a different, undesirable form. But wouldn't it be rad just to go apeshit? For a final trigger to send me bouncing round the walls intent on seeing blood? Everyone would hate me. That would be ok. I don't mind. People can feel how they feel. I know I unnerve people. It's like they can see the thoughts behind my eyes. Tick-tock, tick-tock; counting down into the next impassioned tirade. Is it about music or hurt? Or both? Breaking or building. Corruption or innocence. Life, death, rainbows and bloodbaths. Madness pulling at the corners. "Why are you staring?" I don't know. Your left forearm has taken a starring role in my next idea. It's not personal. Or maybe I like your smile. Or maybe I actually do just wonder how you look when you bleed. You'll never really know. Might be all of the above.
Sometimes the demon overtakes. I wouldn't say I have a split personality disorder, I don't really fit the criteria. I gave him a name though. Anyway he does that. And then suddenly I am not in a harmonic split of choice and rationale. A correct and healthy balance of right and wrong, good and bad. Suddenly I am tilted, the entire world is tilted, I feel dizzy and I don't know if it's somewhat physical or all mental. Everything shifts. Things mean something different. I'm more alien and darker. And that little voice (not an actual voice, no hallucination) is urging urging urging like it's the end of times, and we only have 24 hours left on Earth and nothing to lose. That whim? Do it. The other one too. You know you want to. What? Too pussy? Coward. Come on. You know me. I'm you. What's stopping you?
And then rationale and logic and all that are on the Defensive. No. Don't do it. Fight it. [More of the demons temptations.] Okay. Maybe do it a little but only in a really roundabout way that doesn't hurt anyone. Okay. Let's maybe go for a smoke. Let's close our eyes and fantasize. Think think think. Fight it. [More More More.] Hey maybe we should talk to someone? [Who is there to talk to? You're a freak. You say any of this shit to anyone they'll try to put a stop to it by treating you worse than farm animals. Worse than garbage. They deserve to die. They think you deserve to die. Doesn't that make you angry?] Okay so that's not an option. Um. Just hit something solid really hard until you're too tired to fixate. I don't know. [Aw. Is it not working? Little tired of rationality, aren't we? Relax. Let go. Don't think. Just do. Shoot first, questions later. Imagine how easy and simple things would be. They already are. Let me take care of you.] Tired tired tired. War.. Bed. Now. Don't look at anyone. Don't touch anything. Don't speak. Don't THINK. Shh quiet quiet quiet. [You can't silence me, idiot. I am you. What's the point of this? Who are you appeasing? There is a hell but there is no God. This isn't a war. There are no sides.] [Indulge.] Indulge. [Give.] Give. [Take.] Take.
#personal vent#delete later#multiple personalities#to be clear i am not claiming to have did or anything like that. you guys can have your system stuff and whatnot thats not me#mental breakdowns#its every day bro B)#its usually not as bad as is written here but thats just an example of a moderate day of it#without getting into specifics#just moderate#but the demon does get specific. he likes to tease and insult but it doesnt make me feel sad. worse. invigorated#actually schizospec#psycho in a way thats only hot to psycho chasers because im being super fucking vague about the possible subject matter#moment i get specific im getting more threats than your average US elementary school#edgy joke#does anyone else have something like this?#in a psychosexual downright toxic psychotic relationship with my demon which is just me but with a weird shift#like putting ur car in reverse. idk bruh. idk how to explain it#him talking to me is one thing. i can still take back control if i snap out of the trance. but when he overtakes literally the whole world#looks different. like actually literally different. like fucking. imagine if everything that was green was suddenly just 1 hex point darker#slightly darker green. madness inducing.#i. dont know what i want. i just want to feel in full harmony. i want to indulge the demon. i dont want to. i do. i dont. i#i think i just need to get in a good slapfight or tussle once in awhile and clear my head good#tell my friends 'hit me' when i feel the world sliding off to the side a bit and hope the momentary shock will fix it#idk does that work?
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perths · 1 year
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🫠
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steampoweredskeleton · 11 months
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perenlop · 2 years
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imagine if bluestar x crookedstar was actually real and bluestar was silverstream’s mom and she brought her over to riverclan instead of moss, misty, and stone, and silverstream getting with graystripe and dying as a result is like tragic irony on both parts
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I AM. CONFUSED.
#abt to vent in the tags ignore or message if you want idc#throughout the day i had been debating whether or not i had a crush on these two different people in my life#(that was yesterday)#and then. last night. i had dreamt that i wanted to tell one of them i had the crush and it was like The Plot but i never got to bc it ended#and then immediately after i had another dream where i had a boyfriend (first crush is not a boy but other one is)#except the boyfriend was not the boy i thought i had a crush on it was just some random dude#which NONE OF THIS NARROWS ANYTHING DOWN#and to make things worse. neither of these crushes are the person who i have gone on two dates with#so i feel like i may need to do some light ghosting#i think my main issue between the two crushes is this.#with the first one i have the feelings to a degree but i can’t imagine actually doing any relationship things w them#esp because we’re already best friends so like i’m good with just cuddling as friends that’s chill with me i don’t think i’m a kisser anyway#but with the other one. i have only a small amount of feelings but can picture doing the relationship things with him#but i don’t know him as well so it could be totally way off from what i think it would be like#plus there is also the issue of#even if i do have feelings for the first crush i can’t do anything about it because we’re best friends and she doesn’t see me like that#in addition to the fact that there cannot be two relationships within our five person friend group and she is emotionally unavailable#meanwhile i could fully ask out the other dude no hesitation but i might end up feeling guilty if i realize i don’t actually have feelings#and i cannot have thought i liked a person then asked them out then broke it off a week later bc i lost feelings for the third time in a row#idk i’m just really confused and don’t know what to do and am mad at myself for not being able to recognize my own emotions#this is STUPID. anyways#mari is irrelevant
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