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fuck-goes-on · 1 year

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My Dear Mr. Djarin

Chapter One: “To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love.”

pairing/s: din djarin x reader, boba fett x jane equivalent oc

warning/s: NONE

note/s: i am so excited to start this series!!! i have no idea if i will be able to finish it, but i will try my best to deliver as much as i can! i tried to squeeze in another scene but honestly this took so much out of me i am so tired HAHAHAH

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You’re walking down a dirt path, reading a book centring on the relationship of two people who are in deep misunderstanding. It frustrates you to no end as page by page there is non-stop pining and pain that goes on with the characters. You silently root for the couple as you pass by numerous animals, sheep and cows alike, with the morning sun rising and birds singing in the trees.

As you finish your morning walk going back towards your family’s estate, you finish your book; The two main characters clear their misunderstandings and get happily married to each other. You clutch the finished book to your chest, skipping the rest of the way home, giddy that the characters you adore so much got their happy ending.

When you walk into your home, you hear the ruckus that your siblings are making, and you wonder what is going on. You approach your two little sisters, Adriemma and Monaliz, that are pressed up against your father’s study and say, “Adrie, I’ve told you multiple times not to listen by the door!”

Just as you said that, you hear the voice of your mother coming from the room, quite loudly you might add, saying, “Oh my dear Mr. Avre, did you hear about the upcoming visit of the Fetts? It was said they would stay in our quaint town at the Mos Eisley estate!”

Your sisters gasp in excitement and chatter about how single Mr. Fett was and how exciting it would be to flirt with him. You listen more intently when your mother mentions the Fetts. They were known in the Galaxy as the most experienced and barbarous bounty hunter family, but also well-respected and sought after.

“Are they now?” Your father replied with an uninterested tone of voice as he set aside the books he was reading before he was rudely interrupted by his wife.

“Yes! And don’t you want to know what they’re doing?” Mrs. Avre questioned.

“Even if I said no, you would still tell me, my dear.” You and your sisters giggled at your father’s response. From behind you hear your eldest brother, Kalton, asking what all three of you were doing.

“Mr. Fett and his ensemble are going to a ball! Don’t you think it’s a good idea to introduce our children to him? He might choose one of them as his spouse!”

Adriemma and Monaliz squeal in excitement as your mother mentioned a ball and marriage; Those two have always been keen on parties and flirting. You and Kalton share a look, you two being the eldest, and smile in amusement.

Mr. Avre then opens the door to his study to see four out of five of his children standing outside of it. He sighs, having expected that you and your siblings would be there. He then walks towards the living room where you're joined with Emijade, the youngest of your siblings, who was confused about all the ruckus.

Your mother keeps trying to convince your father to let all of you go to the ball, when he raises his hand to stop her from talking. He says to you all, "I have already spoken to Mr. Fett."

"You have?! Oh Mr. Avre, how you tease me!" Mrs. Avre exclaims. You sit down on the couch, still holding your book in your hands as you watch your father's eyes twinkle with amusement. "Don’t you have any compassion for my poor nerves?"

“You mistake me, my dear, they have been my companion all these years.” Mr. Avre says.

“Is he handsome?” Monaliz questions.

“He is sure to be handsome,” Adriemma quipped as she skips around the living room and lands on her knees near your father.

“Who is handsome?” Emijade asks all confused.

“So can we go to the ball, papa?” The question most had floating in their heads was asked. You wait in tension as your father slowly looks at all of you before him.

Mr. Avre smiles and says, "Yes, you can go to the ball."

Everyone screams, except for Emijade, ecstatic to be able to go to a ball. Talks of gowns and suits are discussed and you hear your mother thanking your father with kisses. With all the buzz of your siblings, it starts getting to you as well and you can't wait to go.

—————

The upbeat music is loud as the chamber orchestra plays their instruments on the floor above. The town’s dance hall is flooded with people, both on the dance floor and on the benches to the side. Joyous shouts are heard as the people dance and clap in the middle of the room, synchronised in their well-practised dance. Drinks and food are served all around for the people waiting their turn to spin and whirl across the room.

You stand with Kalton and your friend, Mellai, chatting and watching your sisters dancing together. Emijade is standing bored next to your parents, who are talking to the persons next to them with civility.

“Not one of these people in this room is not in love with your beauty, Kalton,” You say to your brother, who just shakes his head. “They are far too easy to judge.”

“Not all of them are bad,” He answers.

“They’re all a bunch of womp rats in my limited experience.” You jest.

Kalton chuckles, “One of these days, you’ll find a person that catches your fancy and fall in love with them.”

As the dancing comes to an end, the hall's doors suddenly open and three people step inside. Everyone pauses in their doings and watches as Mr. Fett and his friends start to walk inside the hall. The people make way for them to roam around the floor and bow when they pass by.

You ask Mellai to remind you which one is the dear Mr. Fett your mother has been talking about. She points to the one dressed in green armour, with his matching helmet under his left arm and his bald head shining under the lights. Mellai also tells you of the woman, Ms. Kryze, who is practically a princess under all her blue armour. The other woman was Mx. Shand, Mr. Fett’s personal guard.

"And the one with the shimmering helmet?" You question quietly, and Mellai sighs in exasperation at your cluelessness.

"That's Mr. Djarin. A good friend of Mr. Fett's."

"My, what a cold looking figure," You observe as the man in glinting armour walks frigid and stiff, as if he was not used to the attention.

"He's also a renowned bounty hunter," Mellai adds. "So please be careful of your words around him. Your wit might anger him and have you killed!"

You chuckle as you bow your head when the three people pass by you. Tilting your head up, you see the silver helmet turned towards you. It only took half a second for Mr. Djarin to sharply look away from you. You ponder if he was truly looking at you underneath that helmet of his.

When the group reaches the end of the room, the music resumes and everyone goes back into the rhythm of the dance. Across the room, Mrs. Avre tells her husband to immediately introduce Mr. Fett to his children. She crosses the dance floor over to you, Kalton, and Mellai, grabs Kalton, who then grabs you, who you then grab Mellai, to briskly walk all the way to Mr. Fett and his two friends.

Mr. Lactra, Mellai’s father, is talking to Mr. Fett when you arrive in front of them, your father and Emijade join you from behind. Mr. Lactra introduces the lot of you to the esteemed guests, each one of you curtsying at your names.

“I’m delighted to have made your acquaintance,” Mr. Fett says with his deep, raspy voice. He glances over all your faces, before he stops at Kalton for a split second and looks away. You can’t help but notice, however, how Mr. Fett continues glancing towards your dear brother, and you giggle in silence. You nudge Kalton to make him notice, but to your surprise, he stares quite intensely at Mr. Fett with a small smile on his face. Good heavens, you think to yourself.

Mr. Lactra introduces you to Mr. Djarin as well, but the man in silver does not say a word and only bows his head.

As the group breaks, you and Kalton are joined at the side with Mr. Fett. It is surprising to you that the distinguished bounty hunter that is the man in green himself would be so inclined to small talk with you and your brother, but here you are, talking with him. Not long after, Mr. Fett bravely asks Kalton’s hand for a dance, and your brother unequivocally says yes. They join hand in hand towards the middle of the room where the next dance is about to begin.

You linger behind where Mr. Djarin was standing, not too far from where you were originally with your brother and Mr. Fett. Glancing at the shiny armoured man, you nonchalantly question, “Do you dance, Mr. Djarin?”

“Not if I can help it,” He sharply says, and that’s the end of it. You stand next to him in awkward silence, not knowing how to continue the conversation when said company seems so disagreeable. Deciding to move away from Mr. Djarin, you walk towards Mellai, not without sparing a glance at Kalton and Mr. Fett, who are locked in dance together.

Later on, after Mr. Fett had danced two dances with Kalton, you sit by quietly to observe the people with Emijade. You see Mr. Djarin to the side near you where he is approached by his good friend. Hearing their voices, you can’t help but eavesdrop on their conversation.

“Come now, Djarin. You must at least join one dance; There are many agreeable people in this room who would love to dance with you.” Mr. Fett says.

Mr. Djarin all but sighs, “You have the most agreeable and handsomest person in the hall.”

“Yes, Mister Avre is quite handsome and I am very much pleased to have danced with him.” Mr. Fett smiles, “Look! There is one of his siblings, Mx. Avre. They are quite pretty as well.”

“They’re tolerable, I suppose,” Mr. Djarin grunts out, “But not handsome enough to tempt me… Fett, I am in no mood to consider these people who are easily slighted by others. Go back to your partner, enjoy his smiles.”

And so ends their talk, which you most undeniably enjoyed listening to, as now you know the character of Mr. Djarin well enough. He is the most disagreeable man you’ve ever seen or met, and you are quite glad that he has not taken to you, for any person who will be would be miserable under his hands. You stand up abruptly and walk courageously by him to go tell your thoughts to Mellai, who you know will heed your every word.

—————

“And Mr. Fett favoured our Kalton amongst all others! There was nothing like it!” Mrs. Avre’s shrill voice exclaims. You and your siblings sit in the dining room as your mother relays all the night’s events to your father, despite his attendance and account to said events. “Did you see him dance with Kalton, Mr. Avre? They danced ever so joyously!”

“I saw, my dear,” Mr. Avre says to your mother with an exasperated tone.

“Oh and the two lovely women, Ms. Kryze and Mx. Shand! How obliging and lovely women!” You all giggled as your mother drones on and on about their manners and handsomeness.

“But the other man Mr. Fett brought with him; Mr. Djarin, he calls himself! He is not worth our concern and attention. The proudest, the most unpleasant man… And did you hear about what he said about our poor child?!”

“He slighted my dear child, did he?” Your father quirks his eyebrow at you.

You smile at him, “I didn’t care for him either, so it’s nothing.”

Your mother pauses in her story and turns to you with a pointed finger, “Don’t you ever dance with that man! Even if he asked you!”

“No, I promise you, Mama, that I may never to dance with Mr. Djarin.” You say, firm in your voice and tone. For it is true that you will never dance with the horrid Mr. Djarin.

—————

tags: @brekkers-desigirl @snakkeskin @masks-of-beauty-blog @random-din-shit @sweetphilautia @randomnessfangirl @djarinterstellar @cafune-s @xakilicious

(ask me if you want to be added or removed from the taglist!)

#din djarin x reader #mando x reader #mandalorian x reader #din djarin #mando #mandalorian #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #p&p au

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technicalchaotic · 11 months

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I just read Hope of Morning and it is SO good, I love your worldbuilding and characterization and clown church and everything :DDD absolutely fantastic job!!!!

Ah. I also found your post from like last year about questions to ask, and while all of those are fantastic and compelling things I would absolutely adore to hear you talk about, narrowed down I’d probably ask about either the sequel, the GHB<>signless thing, or the thing that sparked the conflict between the GHB and HIC in Hope of Morning (I think that’s the thing? I’m in mobile rn so no checking)

Anyway!!!!! Regardless of whether you’re still into homestuck and/or want to answer, your writing is good and I hope you’re doing well!!! Happy pride as well :)

Oh shit. I read this a couple days ago and I swear I responded but I guess I just thought really hard about it instead.

Okay sweet, it's 3am, I just checked into a hotel that I'm pretty sure is owned by bedbugs, and I've been feeling the clown itch again so let's talk about some shit

Hope of Morning Sequel

Let's call it 'bottled memories'

So full disclosure, I fully intend to end HoM someday but I just came off a *hellish* career mistake so it'll be a minute.

So I'm gonna try and describe the sequel without spoiling what's left of the main story. I may or may not be successful because I dont actually remember much about where the last chapter left off.

Bottled memories is focused around the resurrection and reformation of the Mirthful Church. The thing about laughsassuns is it's hard to be sure you got *all* of them. The thing about trolls is the mother grub is gonna keep churning out wrigglers in all colors so long as the jades bring her slurry. The thing about (my) clowns is that purple lusii aren't shit, so clowns make do.

It's also partially focused around one of my fanclowns. It's a crying shame the only longfic I ever got around to writing requires all my clowns to be dead because I love them. Especially Kalton, who has been around for something like 7 slutty, slutty years.

If you want more than that you'll have to ask because I crave attention constantly.

Ghb <> Signless

Okay so I'm a slut for doomed romances and dancestor echos. I'd have to go back to the post to remember which one I was thinking about specifically, but generally I want it to go like this:

Kurloz is a fucking bastard okay? But you know what, so is Kankri. They're assholes. Maybe Kankri lures him into a debate. Maybe it's a murderstuck-style emergency romance, maybe Kurloz only ever meets him once he's on the jut and knows the instant he looks into those burning eyes that he has done something unforgivable and irreparable. But my favorite is where they somehow make it work, and Kankri stays a well-kept secret among the upper castes, enacting subtle changes in alternian society while Kurloz is slightly less murder-happy with a Vantas holding his leash.

I do want to talk about the bad blood between condy and Kurloz, but I'm falling asleep on my phone, so that will be in a reblog tomorrow.

#a friendly reminder to anyone who might want to ask me about homestuck canon #as far as im concerned #homestuck ended after cascade

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noro-noro-noro · 2 years

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artfight round 3! set 1 | set 2 | set 3 (you are here) | set 4

doedes kalton belongs to @e-102 thodoris belongs to erilies holiday belongs to @mothgirlsummer jhelat belongs to @ausp-ice cupido belongs to @noreingravity quasar belongs to greedroy harper belongs to crypticemu ruby belongs to @pingo1387 azazel belongs to miserymoth soyer belongs to yellotime

#artfight #artfight2022 #team wither #noro.jpg #i always do such saturated pieces so i hthought maybe i'll make the last one a little more neutral

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nameless-characters · 4 months

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(WIP SO VERY MUCH WIP) Master list of characters, their tags, and a little blurb about them:

Ocs:

Shim Hun - (#Character: Miserere Mei) Extreme levels of power can be addicting, dangerously so.

Sam Highwater - (#Character: The Human Mind Is An Evolutionary Maladaptation) Maybe don't use a hacker as a test subject for an experiment involving digitizing minds.

Evan Highwater - (#Character: The Trees Have Seen You Savage) Sometimes you go missing as a teenager and experience what is basically a Resident Evil game.

Riddian “Poe” Riorsen - (#Character: Black Dog - Bloody Teeth) Did you know that sometimes when someone dies, their soul can slip through the cracks of reality?

Edmund Byrne - (#Character: Selkie Song) Selkie, but make it a leopard seal.

Cicada - (#Character: Cicada Swarm) Terrible bastard man who I hate.

Donovan Dantanian - (#Character: Hunter (Hunted). Mine (Yours)) Sometimes you establish a homoerotic relationship with the demon that's possessing you. So what.

Wilbur "Daredevil" Feldmann - (#Character: Aim for the Head. and May the Saints Look Away) Cocky as hell, and powerful enough to back it up.

Video Game Ocs:

Cyberpunk 2077: V // Taeyeon Kim - (#Character: View From The Edge) Netrunner, music producer, and AI specialist. Making robots in the form of humans is boring. I'm gonna make a dragon.

FFXIV: Warrior of Light // Kirin Touyama - (#Character: I’m So Sorry. He’s A Hero.) Being the saviour of the world is complicated when you don't remember further back than arriving in Limsa Lominsa.

Warframe: Kalton King - (N/A) You don't have to only use warframe abilities, weapons exist too y'know.

Ocs I have stuffed into the skin of existing characters:

COD: Roach // Gary Sanderson - (#Character: Blood Tastes Like Longing) He's Canadian now because I said so.

Valorant: Omen - (N/A) *Slaps Omen on the back* this bad boy can fit so many Issues.

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rodspurethoughts · 1 year

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How This Woman Got A Free Honeymoon By Paying For Her Wedding With Her Credit Card

NEW YORK (Newswire.com) – iQuanti: Wedding photographer Olivia Kalton knows a thing or two about the costs involved in making a wedding day happen. So when she got engaged, she decided to shop around and find the right credit card for wedding expenses she’d have to pay that would also give her the most bang for her buck. She posted her “hack” on TikTok detailing how opening a new Chase Sapphire…

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#Credit Cards #Finance #Free Honeymoon #honeymoon #wedding

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444names · 2 years

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animals + animal sounds + dog names + dragons

Alion Allus Alout Alouta Anackat Anaikey Andamin Andsh Anguail Apedperm Apose Araforoac Arblue Arfly Armwhima Asluca Assilly Azebrakom Azhdeet Babboon Badowla Bahoo Baile Banteingto Barself Barth Basealion Batfiffy Bawlf Beaseal Benthon Bentsh Berion Birnearay Blagle Blucarle Blucconkey Bluck Blueafow Blueafowla Bluff Boark Bobbon Boboo Bongark Bonguid Boody Boonkeyel Boossimper Bracke Brackson Bramet Bucke Budybena Buffall Buffison Bulle Burtley Buruse Bushark Buzzly Cahopon Cathord Catterret Chaci Chalp Chanutter Chaspikalk Chedger Chese Chickenry Chicombarm Chidget Childuin Chile Chincerex Chinet Chingobbis Chink Chitba Clard Clark Clifi Cligbito Cliger Cockey Codinge Conguarpil Conos Coocooth Coose Counaxter Couroack Cowse Crack Crideagpie Cridhowl Crifiskund Crocke Crocujoe Cryuu Cuiret Deahog Dichish Dilestoat Dinst Docky Dogolf Drack Drado Dratfiseat Drawl Drunk Duckeell Duithalk Dunch Eankiesto Egazhdex Eince Elbark Eldfiffin Elflybala Ellereaver Elley Eluck Eluebaraby Elver Emuruski Ermod Erphipel Fafnip Falamsea Falcody Falduker Fanacup Farreyrbee Ferflyban Fidger Fidgeroak Fince Fisher Fishre Fishrew Fiskungber Flamur Flybele Fowlam Fowlflue Frackwiner Froarkanda Fruindeet Galkwole Galowladsh Garaardta Gatfingue Gazeus Geond Giameet Giancarky Gianch Giandee Giang Gianter Gianuff Gibbirroon Giborth Gibug Gider Gidhog Gizmooppet Gleowse Gobracore Gocole Goopustin Graco Grealphawk Grefle Griler Grinoo Grose Grossum Grousey Guark Guearless Hacen Hadger Hampand Hanax Harky Haselkwora Hatfiraci Heaspybug Heenth Heeta Hiper Honet Hophip Horay Hornewt Horose Hover Hunakon Hungalpar Hyell Ickle Ickom Jacke Jacup Jakie Jayine Jumaderfly Kalton Kiper Koaleagon Komer Kothump Lacal Lacher Laddybark Ladonke Lamse Laughtino Levian Licke Licon Linny Lishanth Lockormon Lokippet Louga Lounkerf Luccomock Luckle Lueak Lughtig Lybentsear Maccon Macke Maddilly Maglam Malcochirr Marfly Marlester Meley Melfi Menjo Mingle Miter Mithala Mocodpan Moldfis Moomele Moostonid Mostron Mothum Musale Muturk Nacaci Naslug Nearsel Nerine Nianneink Nipeck Ockip Ocujoey Olemurra Orcamsonk Ormicky Ormin Ormocha Otard Ouing Outterflar Pader Padslo Panger Pankey Parbeanax Pariffowl Parle Partonda Peafore Peaug Pedowl Penailk Pephammy Perbuffan Perbuffird Perflybug Perhampie Perraa Perrana Peton Phacker Piderf Pikalk Piker Pille Pipponkey Pirredget Plaackal Poingtopan Praddy Prade Prasper Prillo Prinder Puffe Puffyrel Puraw Pureo Pustorch Pyrbeet Pyrbla Pyrowlf Queat Quebeakey Quiedoon Racoyot Ranke Refingat Regrinst Relfis Rindige Rixie Roboby Robron Rolver Roterf Ruffafnig Ruffal Ruffalk Ruiter Saldfir Salionk Samsol Sanack Scacobbell Scahackril Scamelf Scaterky Scoch Scorthamp Scounk Scous Scrak Screeha Scryuu Scuck Scuda Seackro Sheetord Shrey Shrixie Shrupill Simperfis Singbeet Skiester Skingar Skiper Skiperfla Skunorna Sluckippot Snackaner Snaket Snakey Snireder Snooss Snuffison Snuffow Snuttle Spart Spermwhawl Spidnasaug Spidogg Squanderm Squango Squanthuck Squanuttle Squew Squie Squird Stiat Stine Stord Stroos Swail Swassh Swing Swolion Swomet Swoof Sworcatte Sworm Tanther Tarfly Terfis Thrin Thumpbal Tigby Tigermax Tincash Toper Topherrup Toreapheet Torky Torsh Tounaikey Treinet Trele Trosello Tulazhder Turner Turra Turuidnach Twidnarr Twing Typhorow Typus Tyrawk Vamse Volionir Volleopy Waill Walartroa Walion Warmie Water Whacle Whammie Wharee Wharkathog Whimp Whird Whirie Whithonip Whorelle Wille Worimpet Yodoctono Yotaleppy Yotharfish Zebeash Zigby

#444 names #444names

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milliehilliearts · 3 years

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@simonsrosebud has a great All For The Game AU going where Kevin Day meets a cutie who doesn’t know about Exy. His name is Dalton and I love him. I had to draw them.

#aftg #the foxhole court #kevin day #dalton miller #Kevin day x dalton Miller #kalton #fanart #au fanart #digital art

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nowupdate · 3 years

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Meet The Man Who Has Not Drunk Water For 20 Years, Yet Lived – Gives Shocking Reason

There are some things which some people were not doing before, but they just started doing those things, maybe because of certain conditions. This may be caused by what they passed through, what humans pass through can make them change the way they do things, there’s no doubt about that. An African man from Burundi, known as Kalton disclosed how he stopped drinking water for the past 20…

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#Burundi #Kalton

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bookloversofbath · 2 years

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Ladies in Distress :: Kalton C. Lahue

Ladies in Distress :: Kalton C. Lahue soon to be presented for sale on the first-class BookLovers of Bath web site! South Brunswick & New York: A.S. Barnes & Co., 1971, Hardback in dust wrapper. Includes: Black & white photographs; From the cover: Almost from the very beginning of the long history of Americas fascination with the film, the screens most popular attraction has been its heroines. By…

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#0-4980-7634-2 #american actors #american actresses #american cinema #books by kalton c lahue #box office film #film archives #film biographies #film theatres film #first edition books #hollywood films #hollywood movies #movie stars #picture actors #picture actresses #pioneer film producers #silent screen films

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simonsrosebud · 5 months

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my new Fox oc is so awesome… in that i mean he has deep rooted issues. but still awesome anyway…

kind of a spin off of my kalton au tbh… but with daltons younger sister (aka kevin’s future sister-in-law, can someone say protective?) and a particular new fox i’m quite fond of…

#aftg

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tlabrea · 6 years

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{{ I had this ridiculously unsettling dream the other night about Kalton and Marceaux getting stuck in the Infinite Forest for who knows how long and is rescued after an indeterminate amount of time and he doesn’t know what’s real and what’s not anymore. He’s not sure if his brothers are a simulation. He’s not sure if the Tower or his friends are real anymore.

Marceaux (his ghost) tries to assure him everything is real, but he’s really not sure if anything is real, either.

Like 95% sure I had a panic attack because of it @ my brain Kalton doesn’t deserve this!!! what the actual fuck!!!!

#{{ Kalton Kills #{{ THE KRAKEN SPEAKS

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technicalchaotic · 2 years

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I LOVE LOVE LOOOOOVE HOPE OF MORNING!!!!!!!! AND ALL THE GAMKAR FICS U WORKED ON !!! ( sorry for screaming i just got excited asodighag ) id happily listen to anything u have to say about them !!!!!!!

You have no idea how happy it makes me that a fic I started writing like six fucking years ago still has people that care about it.

Let's talk about clown kids.

> Clown church specifically relating to Gamzee's childhood in Hope of Morning

So I subscribe to the fanon that purple blood lusii are universally or near universally useless. The Mirthful church in HoM is, at its core, the solution to that.

The church in the HoM modern day has multiple branches, but for this post we're looking at the Lusus clade.

The Lusus clade is made up of all the adult and subadult trolls tasked with finding and raising the purple kids on alternia. It's a position of high honor in the church, and its members mark themselves out with lime-bleached hair.

SO. The lusus clade. Higher in rank than the laughsassin elite, coming in just below the high priests, and generally a troll might transition from dedicate lusus to high priest multiple times over a career.

[DAMNIT I hit post on my drafts too soon. Stand by]

At the beginning of the dark season, when the nights are getting longer but the storms haven't set in yet, dedicates set out in pairs to search the surrounding area for the season's wrigglers. The focus is on kids in the two-three sweep range, but kids slip through the cracks (Gamzee was around 5 sweeps) or get picked up super young if they need to be (Kalton hadn't pupated yet). Generally if they haven't been found or gone looking for a church to join on their own, purple kids don't make it much past about 4.

Now, Gamzee was a ways outside the normal radius, well into seadweller territory. He only really got picked up by Sister Infernal because she is insane and stays out longer and goes out farther on her own than most pairs do. Luckily for him goatdad had eaten most of the local large fauna and the few intruding seadwellers long before Gamzee existed. He was still starved, undersized, frail, and sopor-addicted when Infernal found him and brought him back to the church.

Detox is honestly pretty routine for kids coming into the church. Gamzee was an advanced case, but he was also the first recorded descendant of the Grand Highblood, so nepotism worked in his favor there. Eventually he joined the subjugglator ranks on a track to command, with the understanding that eventually (in a few hundred sweeps or so) he would take over the church. Gamzee in HoM is actually pretty smart and relatively well-educated. It's just 7 sweeps of rigorous training didn't cure him of being a terminal airhead.

So Gamzee grew up from an abandoned feral dog into beloved favorite child into a young and capable warrior prince who was extremely well liked by his peers. His capture and presumed death honestly turned the tide of the conflict between the church and the empress in a number of different ways. Losing Gamzee was a massive blow to morale, and destabilized the church's leadership in really dangerous ways that ultimately ended at the beginning of HoM

#gamzee makara #clown church #gamzee had a really happy childhood actually #my thesis statement for HoM was 'what if i gave gamzee a loving home and then took it away'#vintage homestuck #i saw that on someones blog and it both withered my soul abd delighted me so that will be my tag from now on #for homestuck excluding the extended universe

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pogaytosalad · 2 years

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ANOTHER updated version of dmviolence

Hello, if youre hearing this, it probably means im dead. Either that, or im alive and just got tired of keeping this hidden. You might remember my voice from a previous recording about a takeover in sector ⬽:➻, in which i prevented the total annihilation of the sector. At the time i was unnamed, however now you may call me Kalton. After the takeover i resigned due to some serious ptsd and moved to a job at a dmv. This planet was, for some reason, in one of the most tactically advantageous locations in the galaxy. And for some reason, the higher ups dedicated the whole damn planet to dmvs. Dont ask why. Now, onto the story.

I woke up, and i put on my emerald green contact lenses. I put on a basic white t-shirt and a leather bomber jacket along with a pair of jean shorts. If you cant tell by now, im queer.

I live in a small apartment. By small apartment i mean a bedroom, a bathroom, and a kitchen all crammed into 2 rooms. As i couldnt be bothered to walk through the halls, the damn place is so crowded its difficult to leave quickly, I hopped out of the bedroom window onto my motorcycle. It was a diamond white motorcycle with deep red stripes along the sides and the handlebars. My pride and joy. It had been a gift from a bunch of the big shots on the old planet i saved. I put on my jet black helmet and took off towards my job at the dmv.

Chapter 2

I pulled up in the parking lot and took off my helmet, my cobalt blue hair a total rats nest. I entered the dmv and went to my station. A few hours passed by and no one had come in yet, which was unusual. So i decided to sit down on the floor, put in my earbuds, and enjoy some music. The name of the genre is difficult to pronounce, but it reminds me of home. A few more hours passed by, and by now i usually wouldve been yelled at by my boss. This struck me as odd so i stood up.

I really wish i hadnt stood up. The place had been completely destroyed. There were drop pods crashed in through the roof and they all had the ERGON logo on them. Ergon was a multi trillion dollar pencil manufacturing company with its own military. They had previously tried to take over sector ⬽:➻ when i had been working there. I was not looking forward to what was about to happen. I felt that something horrible was in my future.

There were 4 riot soldiers holding this building. The riot soldiers are your stereotypical riot gear and police baton soldiers. But these guys had laser batons and the riot gear gave them heightened strength and speed. They also had some, dare I say, shitty energy pistols. Quickly, i ducked back onto the floor before any of them saw me. This was gonna be fun.

I crawled over to one of the soldiers who wasnt being watched and broke their neck. I took the baton and the pistol. Speedy yet silently, i snuck back to my station and checked the shot count in the pistol. I had 6 shots, just enough to take care of the remaining three.

I shot up quickly and popped each soldier twice in the head. First shot to open the riot helmet, second shot to kill. I vaulted over the counter and grabbed the three pistols. These things are so stupid. You cant even remove the clips. Once you run out of shots, the pistol's useless. Beggars cant be choosers though. I had a laser baton and 18 total shots in 3 pistols.

Upon leaving the building, my bike, although beaten and scratched from the falling drop pods, was one of the few things to survive. It had alot of external damage, but it still worked. The helmet was shattered under a piece of debris that got flung off the building. I mounted my motorcycle and took off towards the next closest dmv. Maybe I'd find some better gear there.

Chapter 3

Pulling up next to the second dmv i immediately noticed three things. One: there was blood everywhere. Two: there were 25 soldiers here. And three: they all had energy weapons. The reason these things are relevant is because energy weapons dont cause bloodshed. This was the result of something else. Something new i hadnt dealt with yet.

I drove up and ran over 5 of the soldiers. This was probably an incredibly bad idea, seeing as i had 18 shots, enough for 9 kills, and there were 20 soldiers left. Every single soldier turned to me and i, being the absolute genius that i am, welded the front of one of the pistols shut with the laser baton, shot it off, and threw it into the crowd of soldiers.

It exploded, releasing a shockwave of energy and disabling the soldiers armor. I then used the baton to cut through the riot gear and kill the soldiers. They hurt my bike, and i was gonna make them pay for it with blood. I felt like a badass. That is until a mechanical looking wolf jumped at me and started trying to rip my face off.

The wolf was a frostwolf. Except it had been placed into a mechanical frame and its teeth and claws had been replaced with lasers.

A frostwolf is a very specific breed of canine with freezing cold fur and icy blue eyes that originated on the planet i was defending in sector ⬽:➻. One had crushed my right hand with its powerful jaws at the time. Its healed over time, but it still brings back memories. Ergon must've captured a bunch of them while they were there and run experiments. I cant imagine what kinds of inhumane things those monsters would've done to this poor creature, but it was trying to kill me, so i had to try to kill it.

I tried to bash it off of me with the baton but it just sliced it in two with its teeth. This gave me just enough time to grab an energy pistol and shoot the wolf. It kept trying to kill me and i wasted a whole clip on it until suddenly, the dog started to levitate in the air and got thrown aside into a wall. I got up and was instantly frozen in place. Thats when she walked up.

Chapter 4

The she i am reffering to is my ex. Ebony Way. A goth/punk wannabe with light blue tear shaped eyes and black hair with purple streaks. Shes a bitch whos mind got too powerful and now she can move things without touching them. Shes been chasing me for months. Not in a murderous way. Shes just obsessed with me. And now im at her mercy.

Heres some backstory on this. After i left my job in sector⬽:➻ i realized id lived my whole life alone without anyone. So i chose a name for myself and decided to try the dating game. For awhile it didnt go very well, as i had never had to speak to another person like this before. But then i met Ebony, and it was like she knew what i was gonna say before i even said it. We connected on a very basic level, which i mistook for romantic attraction on my end.

Again, i had never actually interacted with people properly. So i ended up dating her for awhile. She became obsessive and clingy, and i couldnt handle it so.. i broke up with her. She overloaded my voicemails daily, so i just stopped using a phone. Then she constantly sent me letters, so i got rid of my mailbox. And then she started stalking me.

She became so obsessed with trying to win me back, she ended up partaking in some sketchy experiments that promised supernatural powers. The studies resulted in the telekenisis she has now. And then she found me under a wolf. So the story continues.

She walked up to me and kissed me on the cheek. I hated it. She looked as if she was contemplating whether or not to free me when a drop pod came down from the sky and crushed her. Thank god. But i honestly wouldve rathered suffered at her hand than deal with what i had to deal with next...

Out of the pod came the warden. The goddamn warden from sector ⬽:➻. Last i saw him he was in the same situation as ebony. Crushed to death under a pod. But this time, instead of being on my side, he was here to kill me. He was huge. Like seriously huge. He was at least 8 feet tall and shaped like gaston. Whos gaston? Nobody knows these days. But its a way to say "extremely buff and wide".

Back to the story. The warden wasnt looking very good considering the obviously rushed patch-job of a face, and loose muscles hanging out of his rotten skin. His rotting ruined body was held together by an exoskeleton of chromium-tungsten alloy. Nothing i had was gonna cut through that. I was gonna have to get creative here..

The warden had two weapons, both of them were his fists. Huge gauntlets that were each about the size of the long extinct dairy cows of earth. Definitely bigger than his previous set. They were a golden green metal i couldnt identify. But i didnt want to get hit with one to try and find out. So I ran. I ran as fast i could run into the dmv and hid. I could hear the wardens footsteps. A small earthquake shook the ground with every step he took.

I peeked over the desk i was hiding behind and saw him punch through the two desks opposite to me. It took no effort and i couldve sworn i saw him smile. Obviously i didnt. Cause he didnt have a mouth anymore. But if he did, he definitely wouldve smiled. I took a shot to get his attention and ran off towards the wall. The warden was definitely faster than i expected. Luckily i managed to dodge the blow by a centimeter.

The metal smelled of decaying flesh and popcorn. The wardens blow punched a huge hole in the wall. I hope you see where im going with this.

I ran off to another wall and we repeated this same process a number of times until the building was barely still up. I ran out the doors and threw the baton at the last of the supports, which cut through it like butter and caused the building to collapse in on the warden. He wasnt getting out of that.

I decided to search the rubble to see if i could find anything worth taking. I found a new baton, a flame rifle and a few more energy pistols. The flame rifle was a very interesting design. The sides were painted jet black with flame decals scattered about. You could feel the heat on the inside and it made the gun warm to the touch. Comfortable to hold. Other than that though, it looked like an old fashioned 8.59mm sniper rifle. It had 4 shots remaining, so id have to use it sparingly.

I grabbed some scrap materials out of the rubble to make a holster for it and put it on my back.

The energy pistols dangled from a keychain. The baton was simply turned off and placed through a hole in the back pockets of my shorts. I ran to my motorcycle and drove off. I had questions, and i had a sneaking suspicion that i knew where to find the answers.

Chapter 5

I was dirty and there was blood on both me and my bike. I probably looked like a serial killer. I certainly had the kill count of one. I knew that if anyone was still alive, itd be jayden. They were.. well. They were a vampire. They lived in a swampland area and wore sparkly rainbow shirts and a huge sunhat. The sunhat allowed them to go outside in the sun, and they only drank coconut water.

They also had a crazy amount of weaponry and used to work at ergon, before being fired for stealing said weaponry. Jayden doesnt have a gender. Jayden is also kind of the love interest in this story. It probably has something to do with the fact that theyre the only person on this planet who talks to me. Other than ebony. but ebony is... not my type i guess. Anyways, back to jayden.

Jayden was on the roof of their swamp shack drinking coconut water out of a wine glass. I yelled up at them and they fell off the roof onto my back. I guess i cushioned their fall. Jayden asked "What do you need?" without waiting for me to stand up, and shattered the wine glass in their hand. I informed them of the situation and asked the questions i had. Things like "what are the ergon soldiers defences like on their ships" and "how did they reanimate the warden". They had answers.

Jayden told me about the new security measures that had been put in place since id last been on an ergon ship. There was now a code for each teleportation pod and the gaurds had doubled. As for the warden, it turns out jayden was actually the first test run in reanimation sciences, and couldnt answer me because they had been unconcious in a lab when the warden was reanimated. That explained the whole undead vampire thing.

Jayden invited me into the shack where they pulled a nail out of the floorboards and it turned into a ramp to the basement. Thats where jayden kept their weapons they stole. And boy oh boy were there some interesting ones.

One that immediately caught my attention was the big rocket launcher. It had three barrels and each was a different colour, indicating a different effect. One was red, one was yellow, and one was green. The red barrel fired a normal explosive rocket, the yellow barrel fired an electromagnetic pulse rocket, and the green barrel fired an acidic explosive. Possibly even more impressive, the launcher shrunk down to the size of an energy pistol when a button was pressed. It gathered up dirt and dust and garbage around it from the back to quickly convert into ammo. The only downside is that it would be difficult to use more than once in an area.

Jayden picked out an old shotgun. At first i didnt understand why, but then they loaded the clip. The clip was a huge drum that loaded in the bottom of the barrel. The drum was transparent and inside you could see sawblades lined up side by side. When they pumped the shotgun a blade got lifted into a slot between the 2 shotgun barrels and started glowing red, heated by an electrical circuit. When the trigger was pulled, the blade spun at incredibly high speeds and fired out of the slot, spinning along the ground like a wheel. It could cut through anything a baton could cut through and seemed to almost follow its target. The gun itself looked like an DP-12, except behind the pump, a large clear drum full of sawblades was in place.

I also took a laser sword instead of my baton, it was just like the one that [3825968] had, except this one was about an inch longer. [3825968] was one of the greatest swordsmen of all time, he was a robot with a very sleek white design. He looked like one of the ancient japanese bullet trains from planet earth. His face was blank white, and he displayed emotions with projections of emoticons. He met his end when his program was overrun by a virus and turned to ergons side. He almost fatally wounded me, i still have a huge scar from the laser sword he shoved through my arm. I ended up disabling him by removing his battery in the middle of combat.

The final weapon i took was an acid thrower. It was basically just a watergun with acid in it. Ive always been partial to acidic weapons. Long story short my original pride and joy was an acid based sniper rifle. Only one of its kind, a malfunction in the factory caused the entire city to dissolve. It had been a gift from my father, just before his untimely death. Id had to sacrifice it to save sector ⬽:➻.

Jayden also took a submachine gun that fired freezing rounds. The rounds were essentially glorified waterballoons with liquid nitrogen in them. Though the rounds were bullet sized, enough shots from it would certainly freeze you in place. The freeze gun was about the size of the average human head, and was painted navy blue with blue saphire stripes placed along it. We both left the shack, me with my sword and jayden with a wine glass. We were ready to kick ass and put a stop to this.

We left and immediately both got flung into the trees. Guess who it was. It was ebony. Her body had been found and reanimated. I was starting to see a pattern. And now we had to fight the telekinetic goth who could kill us with a wave of her hand.

She was levitating. Her eyes were glowing red and her hair was floating in the air. She had the smile of someone about to rip your arms off and beat you with them. I tried to take a shot at her but my hand got knocked aside by an invisible force. So i tried the next best thing. Seduction. Fake seduction. Hopefully the whole dying and coming back from the dead thing didnt make her stop being weirdly obsessed with me.

While i faked surrender and complimented ebony and attempted to seduce her, jayden took aim of their ice gun and shot a burst at ebonys right arm. The arm froze in place and shattered. Hopefully that would lower the strength of her telekinetic abilities. It did. But only by about half. Which meant jayden got thrown into the air as i tried to discreetly unholster my acid gun. It wasnt discreet enough and the gun was knocked from my hand.

The gun flew forwards and the impact of hitting the ground set it off for a second, just enough to spray an acidic burn through her arm. Incapacitating her. Talk about deus EX machina am i right?

Jayden ended up sneaking up behind her and impaling her through the skull with the shattered end of their wine glass. Ebony slumped to the ground like a bag of wet mice. Ebony was finally dead for good. I hoped.

The acid gun was busted, so we had to leave it behind. We got onto my motorcycle and took off towards my apartment building. We would need food if we were going to be traveling. An apartment complex would probably be full of food and alot of dead people who wouldnt care if we took some stuff.

Thanks for helping as an editor @im-not-really-a-pickle-jar

#im-not-really-a-pickle-jar helped as my editor. so. shoutout to them.

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