BSD as things I’ve heard in marching band
Tachihara: Who wants to do some carpool kareoke?!
Akutagawa: I’d rather you skin and boil me alive
Kunikida, holding up a book: Who’s Death Note All-in-one Edition is this
Dazai: oh sorry that’s mine
Kunikida: this [office] isn’t your damn bedroom, clean up your crap
Dazai: hey scoot over a bit
Chuuya: no you’re not my master
Dazai: actually I am, be my dog
Fukuzawa, leaving: Kunikida you’re in charge until I get back
Kunikida: Alright
*Chaos ensues as soon as Fukuzawa leaves*
Gin: Wow, [Ryuunosuke], you look miserable
Akutagawa: I am
Gin: So… why don’t you stop what you’re doing?
Akutagawa: I’m telling myself that this is a test of willpower and I’m too stubborn to lose to myself
Atsushi, holding a tissue to his bleeding leg: ow
Yosano: Atsushi what the hell happened
Atsushi: I cut my leg on a storage bin
Yosano: Go get a bandaid then???
Atsushi: nah it’ll be fine *starts walking around and doing work, still holding the tissue to his leg*
Dazai, holding just the head of a dog-shaped cookie jar: Isn’t he cute?
Atsushi: Dazai why do you have a dog head
Dazai: The rest of the body is in my bag :)))
Atsushi: That doesn’t make it any better-
Dazai: Hey, did you hear who just got asked out?
Chuuya: Who?
Dazai: You *finger guns*
Atsushi, running from Akutagawa: Help, I’m being attacked by a wild emo!
*15 Dazai and Chuuya arguing over the plural of penis*
Mori: you two are making me question my life choices
Nikolai: What if edible p*rn was a thing?
Sigma: please never say those words in that order ever again
Dazai, after a mission: You know Atsushi you’re really not beating those furry allegations
Atsushi: yeah I saw that one coming
Kenji: Going to Paris without seeing Versailles is like going to New York for the first time and not seeing the Tilted Towers
Kyouka: …Kenji that's from fortnite
Yosano: well you may be the best walking condom ad I’ve ever seen
(This quote would fit so many)
Ango: nothing like a government website to keep you up at 2AM
(this was from my band director)
Kunikida, talking about Dazai: The fact that he’s not responding to my texts right now is bull because there’s no way that sleep-deprived, caffeine-addicted twink isn’t awake
Dazai: this is the face of a professional
Atsushi: that’s the face of a fucking idiot
Kunikida, talking about his headcanon college experience: do you know what kind of foul things come out of frat guys’ mouths?
Dazai: no but I know what foul things probably go in them
Akutagawa: I must be a poison type because I can’t stop fucking koffing
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" I headcanon ranpo and kenji having unspecified eating disorders "
" Kenji could totally get it in his head to not eat so he he's always ready to fight and protect everyone. maybe one time he wasnt hungry and couldnt use his ability when he needed it so he's scared to eat.
Ranpo would be a general unhealthy relationship using food to cope or a food addiction. No ones brave enough to bring up that he might have a problem though so it just spirals and runs rampant. "
Requested by anon
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