#kleenex factory

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

“New Canadian plant at Niagara Falls, Ontario, of the Kotex Company of Canada, Limited. Top: section of manufacturing department. Insert: Mr. L. E. Phenner, Sales Manager, Kotex Company of Canada, Limited; bottom: exterior view of the new Kotex plant. Monday marked the opening of this magnificent new factory and office building built to supply Kotex and Kleenex for the domestic market and the United Kingdom. In the words of his Worship, Mayor Swayze of Niagara Falls: “This new plant and office is an outstanding addition to this community. Its construction has given employment for some months to many artisans which has assisted materially in these men carrying on during this strenuous time." Mayor Swayze went on to say: “The example of the Kotex Company of Canada, Limited, should be an incentive to all industries for in this way and in this way only, can a return to normalcy be assured." Construction of the new plant was started June 24th, and work was given to an average of 60 men a day from this date until the structure was completed. All labor and all contractor were Canadian.”

- from the North Bay Nugget. November 30, 1932. Page 5.

#niagara falls #kotex #kleenex #manufacturing plant #kleenex factory #patriotic consumerism #canada in the british empire #capitalism in canada #boosterism #great depression in canada

[randomgodfatherthoughts]

"Tom Hagen held out his hand when Johnny came into the room. Johnny shook it and said, “How are you, Tom?” But without his usual charm that consisted of a genuine warmth for people. Hagen was a little hurt by this coolness but shrugged it off. It was one of the penalties for being the Don’s hatchet man"

From The Godfather novel by Mario Puzo.

#Tom I love you #but how the hell did you get the job of “hatchet man” #You're near permanently on the verge of tears #or a panic attack #or both at once #Although considering that he gets bullied #by almost everyone #I'm not sure I blame him #Even so #What was Vito thinking? #Does he have shares in the Kleenex factory? #and Tom was singlehandedly keeping them in business? #The Godfather #Tom Hagen #Johnny Fontane

[wicked-jade]

If you haven't already done it: 49 “Quit touching me. Your feet are cold.” Thank you!

Was this inspired by an episode of The Golden Girls? Maaaaybe... 👀

You didn't give me a pairing, but this could be read as Lawrusso or even Lawgurusso (I think that's what we're calling it??) Or just gen. Either way, this ended up being way longer than a drabble, but I couldn't resist. Thanks for the prompt, anon! 🥰

49. “Quit touching me. Your feet are cold.”

“Quit touching me! Your feet are cold!” Daniel groused, jerking his legs away from Johnny’s frozen toes.

“Well, maybe if you weren’t such a blanket hog...” Johnny sniffled from the other end of the sofa, voice little more than a painful rasp. “You could share, you know.”

“You could get up and get your own damn blanket, you know,” Daniel shot back, teeth chattering as he wrapped himself up tighter. Like hell he was sharing his blanket with Johnny. It was his fault he got sick in the first place.

“Getting up means moving. Moving hurts. Breathing hurts. Existing hurts,” Johnny whined, trying and failing to suppress a deep, chest-rattling cough. He sounded so miserable, Daniel almost took pity on him.

Almost.

“And whose fault is that, Mr. Real Men Don’t Need Doctors?”

“Yours! You’re the one who insisted we start a children’s class. Fuckin’ little germ factories,” Johnny grumbled, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

Daniel made a face of disgust, tossing a box of Kleenex at his head. “Gross. If you’d just gone and got a flu shot like I said…”

“Yeah, well you did get a flu shot, and look where that got you. Right here, on this couch, shivering your tits off next to me.”

“Exactly! I’m already freezing, I’m not giving you my blanket!” Daniel snapped, slapping at Johnny’s hands as he once again tried to wrestle a corner away. “Cut it out! I will kick you in the face again!”

“And I’ll punch you in the dick if you don’t… Hey!” Johnny yelped as a throw pillow smacked him upside the head.

“At-tat-tat-tat!” Chozen hushed, shooting them both a red-eyed glare from where he sat slumped in the armchair opposite, nursing a cup of tea. He claimed it was medicinal, but Daniel suspected Johnny was onto something when he guessed it was the ‘Long Island’ variety. “Mark is about to propose to Annika!”

“Big whoop, dude’s already been married three times, like this one’s really gonna stick.” Johnny rolled his eyes at the TV screen, where Mark was getting down on one knee.

Daniel smirked. Clearly, Johnny was a little more invested in 90-Day Fiancé than he let on.

“Johnny-san has no sense of romance,” Chozen sniffed, his watery eyes still glued to the screen.

“Johnny-san knows a gold-digger when he sees one,” Johnny countered. Giving Daniel one last, pitiful look, he curled up on his own end of the couch, bathrobe pulled tight around him to ward off the chills. He looked so pathetic, Daniel finally relented and held out one side of the blanket with a long-suffering sigh.

“Rude. Should not talk about mother of child like that,” Chozen admonished, as Johnny crawled under the blanket and tucked himself against Daniel’s side.

“Who said I was talking about Shan?” Johnny asked, face scrunched in confusion. “I was a professional sugar baby for most of my twenties. Trust me, this chick’s an amateur.”

Chozen huffed a disappointed sigh and turned off the TV.

#johnny is still a professional sugar baby #he scored daniel and chozen so he clearly knows what he's talking about #this one just kept growing #I'm not sorry #these three cooped up sick together was too good to resist #johnny lawrence #daniel larusso #chozen toguchi #cobra kai #lawrusso #lawgurusso #drabbles are like gremlins #my writing

[denimbex1986]

'Perhaps no film in recent memory will leave you emotionally exploded into splinters like All of Us Strangers (now streaming on Hulu, as well as VOD services like Amazon Prime Video) does. Director/writer Andrew Haigh (45 Days) adapted Taichi Yamada’s 1987 novel Strangers into this strange-but-beautiful drama, starring Andrew Scott as a writer who somehow jaunts through memory or space-time or something less explicable to visit his long-dead parents. Paul Mescal co-stars, appearing in his second gutpunch of the last year or so, after netting an Oscar nom for 2022’s Aftersun, and before he changes course to anchor the upcoming Gladiator 2. Get your hankies ready for this one, though, because the tears will come, and every damn last one of them will be painfully sincere.

ALL OF US STRANGERS: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE 1987. Adam (Scott) finally types this after an undetermined length of time. It comes after – no, amidst, definitely amidst a bout of depression-fueled writer’s block. What it comes after is a day of hovering over the keyboard while staring hopelessly at a blank screen, an evening of sedentary snacking on the couch and an irritating fire alarm that drives him down to the street, where he looks up to see only one other apartment occupied in his entire building. (Why so empty? It’s just the first of many mysteries about Adam’s reality.) He returns to his flat and a moment later, Harry (Mescal) knocks on the door. He’s drunk. He chats up Adam a bit, asks to come in. But Adam gently says sorry, no, and they retreat to their respective residences.

Adam rifles through a box of artifacts, and comes across a photo of the home he lived in as a child. He takes the train out of London. Walks into a neighborhood. Holds up the photo to match the house. A boy looks out the window and their eyes meet and neither acknowledges the other with a wave or a nod or a smile, nothing. Adam knocks on the door and is greeted by his parents (Jamie Bell and Claire Foy). They haven’t seen Adam in a long time. So long, they don’t know he’s a writer – TV and movie scripts. Oddly, they appear to be the same age as Adam. No, he’s older. By a few years or so, maybe. They catch up a little and Adam goes home.

The writer’s block seems to have loosened its grip on Adam now. He types some. He looks out the window with binoculars and spots Harry, who waves, comes up the flat, and comes in for a drink. No, not a drink, but a bit of weed in the vape pen. They talk, and determine they’re both queer. Well, “queer” was a pejorative for Adam for a long time. He prefers “gay.” That’s a generational thing. They kiss, have sex, share a little about themselves. Adam says his parents died in a car accident when he was 11, but he doesn’t say anything about visiting their ghosts, who appear to be trapped in a metaphysical conundrum. “I’m sorry,” Harry says empathetically. “It was a long time ago,” Adam replies. “I don’t think that matters,” Harry says.

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: All of Us Strangers and David Lowery’s A Ghost Story are like sibling films of a sort. They’ll also bankrupt the Kleenex factory.

Performance Worth Watching: Scott – perhaps best known as The Hot Priest on Fleabag – is extraordinary in a role requiring close-up contemplation and emotional vulnerability. Given the power, I’d nudge a couple best actor Oscar nominees out of contention so he could get deserving recognition.

Memorable Dialogue: Harry breaks our goddamn hearts: “I know how easy it can be to stop caring for yourself,” he tells Adam during a devastatingly tender moment.

Sex and Skin: A couple of fairly intense, graphic sex scenes.

Our Take: The “rules” of reality in All of Us Strangers seem governed by intuition. I suspect it’s Occam’s Razor simple, but pondering the hows and whys of Adam’s esoteric excursions is a fool’s errand, like trying to fit a feeling into a Tupperware container. And although it’s easy to be distracted by an all-too-human need to intellectually define what’s happening here, it’s also wholly beside the point. A psychologist might dig up a cleaner interpretation of Adam’s experiences, but the rest of us should be content with being immersed in a womblike narrative that reflects the emotional isolation of a man who will never get over the sudden and brutal loss of his parents (note: no one would; closure is a myth), and also must wrestle with the outsiderism that gay people experience in a society that, in the words of the screenplay, has at least “gotten better” since the very 1987 viewpoints expressed by Adam’s parents, but still renders challenging some components of queer existence.

So there are layers to this story, all psychological and ethereal, and Haigh carefully sidesteps the maudlin in lieu of the mysterious. Watching the film is akin to submerging yourself in a bath with only your eyes and nose breaking the surface, so you can block out the noise of being tragically human and imagine a reality where deep, unquenchable yearnings can be fulfilled. The film veers from chilly and harsh to psychedelic and surreal, reflections of Adam’s depression. When he finds moments of connection with Harry – they’re two souls who perhaps need it more than most – warmth emerges like the heat kicking on after a lengthy power outage.

The less said about All of Us Strangers the better, it seems, although it’s not about its modest revelations. Haigh uses a fascinating narrative mechanism to cut through the fog of self-examination and loneliness to make a deceptively simple statement about the eternal nature of love. The idea is best illustrated in a pair of scenes in which Adam meets with one parent, and then the other, to discuss his sexuality: One is challenging and the other plaintive, and both are heartbreaking. They address regret, curiosity, judgment; the difficulties of being a parent and being a child; the ways in which the world around us has changed and stayed the same. I walked away thinking about how catharsis in any form is a powerful force, and how creativity – one senses the film is a deliberation on Haigh’s own experiences, to a degree; he filmed some of it in his family home – can be the fuel for breaking out of debilitating stasis. It’s about holding on, and it’s about letting go.

Our Call: All of Us Strangers is a remarkably profound film, and one that’ll cling to you tightly for days. STREAM IT.'

#All of Us Strangers #Andrew Haigh #Andrew Scott #Paul Mescal #45 Years #Hulu #Aftersun #Taichi Yamada #Strangers #Oscars #Jamie Bell #Claire Foy #Fleabag #Hot Priest

[beautycounterwipes]

This simple check list can be assembled in an afternoon.

Gather supplies:A sturdy plastic storage box with a tight fitting lid.Pocket knife Roll of duct tape As sorted sizes of hose clamps Four road flares A lighter or water proof matches Two quarts of oil A gallon of antifreeze A money survival kit: Keep a roll of quarters and other small change in your car.In cold weather areas, several votive candles, holders and water proof matches.    Use a sturdy plastic box to hold the following:Jumper cables. Add this to the big box. A family with a baby needs to pack diapers, wipes, baby food and powdered formula that can be mixed with water.Tire pressure gauge, and a can of pressurized tire inflator. Remember to customized supplies to reflect your families’ unique needs. Pack a car emergency box as well.Basic car repair tools, screwdrivers, pliers, adjustable wrench, vise grips, and hammer. 

Non-perishable foods, canned meats, crackers, energy bars, and dried fruit. If stranded in the snow, lighting candles will help create heat. Have five to ten one dollar bills. A little planning today can help you cope with being stranded in your vehicle until help arrives.Flashlight, check batteries every 6 months, and keep extra batteries with the flashlight.Make Beauty Wipes Factory a small separate zip lock bag to hold the following hygiene products: unscented baby wipes, hand sanitizer, and a small box of Kleenex. Make sure you update and replace these foods every six months. Take a day to purchase and pack kits for all the vehicles you family drives. 

The candles will melt in heat, so carry them only in the winter.  Band-Aids in assorted sizes, antibiotic ointment, individual alcohol wipes, aspirin, instant ice and heat compresses and a ace bandage. Keep a prepaid cell phone in your car at all times.We are commuters who travel no matter what the weather situation may be, spending a great deal of time on the road. If you live in a rural area and you know the odd of getting stuck or stranded is likely, include rain gear and a change of clothing. Make sure you understand any expiration dates on the cards and if there are extra surcharges to use the card.

 A prepaid credit card will allow you to have money for an emergency without the risk of someone stealing you main bank credit card. Add this into the larger box. Make sure the box is large enough to hold the following items:A gallon of drinking water.com. This simple check list can be assembled in an afternoon.Make a small separate box with first aid supplies. Make sure to store a recharger with the phone. It’s a good idea to keep a pair of tennis shoes in the car at all times. Top off the box with a blanket for warmth, consider a down blanket if you live in a cold, snowy area of the country. Small children will need extra snacks, a few books or toys to help pass the time. For this reason, it is important to have a survival kit in your vehicle. The following checklist will help you assemble car care supplies

#China Wholesale Disposable Cleaning Cloth Manufacturers

[redoqs]

This is for the mf’s that think while people are oppressed and experience racism, SHUT YOUR:

𝐀

albino monkey

albedo

arctic menace

alabaster geckos

albino skinwalker

ashewo

ash crickets

amebo

aje

ashiere  

arindin

apoda

𝐁

baby powder

baking soda slugs

beach flamingos

birch trees

borax bites

bleached cheezits

bird caca

blanco bullies

bleached flip flops

baboons without fur

bland baboons

bleach demons

blizzard bliss

blancs

bone thugs

borax bats

𝐂

cauliflower conquerers

cauliflower pigeons

chrome startup screen

cauliflower crunchers

casper crickets

condensation calamities

chewed spearmint gum

coleslaw

columbus cadets

cave dwellers

chalk children

chalk chihuahuas

chalk chimps

ceiling fan

cloudy with a chance of colonization

children of the chalk

clear people

cultureless neanderthals

cum stain

cum skinned goblins

cigarette buds

cocaine monkey

coconut cocoos

coconut shavings

cornstarch crusaders

cotton ball flies

cotton swabs

cumstaint colonizers

colonizer

colombochauns

colourless cockroaches

corn starch

cousin lovers

cream cheese

cream confederate

crystal methamphetamine powdered iguanas

christopher columbus stans

casper the ghost

cracker barrel

cement walls

cloud chompers

cheese curds

clorox conquerors

cherry gatorade

crest extreme whitening toothpaste

culture vultures

cornstarch snakes

chlorine community

𝐃

dandruff clumps

discord light mode

death eaters

discharge doritos

discharge snow drop

discharge donkeys

discharge stains

discharge cosplay

discharge doggies

discharge gremlins

dandruff flakes

dove soap

default paint

deodorant stain

dog daters

dog kissers

dry chicken munchers

dry wall

dust mites

dutch dummies

𝐄

enemy of the sun

elmers glue

elbow ash

eggplant without the skin

eqinsu ocha

expired cheese

expired milk

𝐅

feta cheese folks

flavourless oatmeal

flavourless twinkies

flashback mary

flour fleas

flour power

frost feind

frosted opossums

foam cups

funky dime smelling bitch

𝐆

greek yogurt

garlic goblin

ghost thugs

gora (horse in Hindu)

grandpa’s pubes

𝐇

hueless crayons

hueless hooligans

high spf sun factor 50/50

𝐈

ice chimp

ice mice

iron golems

infecting wipes

iphone chargers

iphone light mode

ivory individuals

ice scorpions

inkless markers

𝐉

jeff the killers

jizzy delinquents

jar of mayo

jackie crackies

jelly babies with too much powder

𝐊

keeho’s white wall

ku klux karen

ku klux kleenex

kleenex klumps

𝐋

la llorona

lice attractors

lice breeders

lice factories

light mayonnaise

light mode

livestock

low fat milks

𝐌

marshmallow fellows

maggots

marshmallow minions

milk crickets

milk man

milk maggots

milk muncher

modge podge

minecraft ghast

milk beetle

mozzarella cheese

mayo packets

mayo monkeys

mayo skunk

mayosapiens

mcdonald’s cup lid

mayonnaise murderers

melaninly challenged

mosquito larvae

𝐍

no seasoning seagulls

no purpose flour

nail clippings

naked rambutan

napkin american

𝐎

oyinbo

ode oshi

omo ale

ori buruku

oniranu

onisekuse

ode buruku

ode

obun

oloshi

olodo

𝐏

palm coloured ones

paperback

paper people

people of colonial complexion

people of no colour

pillsbury dough boys

pillsbury pillager

pigment challenged beast

pink africans

powdered donuts

popcorn ceiling

powder rangers

powdered crickets

powdered roaches

porcelain possums

poorly powdered doughnuts

printer paper

plain toast

polar bears

privileged primates

pwc(people without color)

peeled chicken nuggets

𝐐

q-tips

quails without color

𝐑

rabies foam

ranch guzzlers

ranch opossum

ranch raccoons

ranch rats

ranch roach

rice rats

rice rascals

𝐒

salt rocks

saltine cracka

salt shaker

salty scallywags

saltine

sand crabs

seasonably challenged people

sentient snowmen

sheepskin

silentos silencers

snow apes

snow bunnies

seasonedn’t

snicker lickers

snow opossum

snow rat

snow roach

snow toads

snow worm

sour cream gorillas

sour cream n onion

sour cream snakes

sour patch pilgrims

styrofoam balls

snow tribe

stanky ashes

silverfish mutations

styrofoam sickness

sundown sisters

sun poisoned serpents

𝐓

table salt tammies

teabag trespassers

thin lipped chalk child

tighty whitey

toilet paper travellers

toilet seat

teabag trespassers

translucent powder

translucent troglodyte

translucent tyrants

𝐔

useless crayon

uncoloured orangutan

uncoloured skittles

untitled document

undeveloped sperm

unedited google docs

unseasoned chicken

unused pad

unwhipped cream

𝐕

vanilla pudding cups

vanilla cricket

vanilla gorillas

vanilla vultures

vanilla villagers

vanilla wafers

volcano ash

𝐖

walking recessive genes

wendigos

wiggerely wiggers

whipped cream armadillos

white board

white mutation

white neanderthals

white-out monkeys

white pus

wet dogs

walking dandruff

white trash

wannabe pocs

white tongue

white walker

wonder bread

𝐗

xanax blocks

xenophobic xylophones

𝐘

y'allternatives / y'allts

yogurts yodellers

yeast yeti

yeast yodellers

𝐙

zebra lacking stripes

zit insides

MOUTH. :)

Discharge Doritos?!?!?!,😭😭😭😭

#this list yo💀💀💀 #long post

[kenvais]

names for the white ones 😋

@katsdni

𝐀

albino monkey

albedo

absence of color

arctic menace

alabaster geckos

albino skinwalker

ashewo

ash crickets

amebo

aje

ashiere

arindin

apoda

𝐁

baby powder

baking soda slugs

beach flamingos

birch trees

borax bites

bleached cheezits

bird caca

blanco bullies

bleached flip flops

baboons without fur

bland baboons

bleach demons

blizzard bliss

blancs

bone thugs

borax bats

𝐂

cauliflower conquerers

cauliflower pigeons

chrome startup screen

cauliflower crunchers

casper crickets

condensation calamities

chewed spearmint gum

coleslaw

columbus cadets

cave dwellers

chalk children

chalk chihuahuas

chalk chimps

ceiling fan

cloudy with a chance of colonization

children of the chalk

clear people

cultureless neanderthals

cum stain

cum skinned goblins

cigarette buds

cocaine monkey

coconut cocoos

coconut shavings

cornstarch crusaders

cotton ball flies

cotton swabs

cumstaint colonizers

colonizer

colombochauns

colourless cockroaches

corn starch

cousin lovers

cream cheese

cream confederate

crystal methamphetamine powdered iguanas

christopher columbus stans

casper the ghost

cracker barrel

cement walls

cloud chompers

cheese curds

clorox conquerors

cherry gatorade

crest extreme whitening toothpaste

culture vultures

cornstarch snakes

chlorine community

𝐃

dandruff clumps

discord light mode

death eaters

discharge doritos

discharge snow drop

discharge donkeys

discharge stains

discharge cosplay

discharge doggies

discharge gremlins

dandruff flakes

dove soap

default paint

deodorant stain

dog daters

dog kissers

dry chicken munchers

dry wall

dust mites

dutch dummies

𝐄

enemy of the sun

elmers glue

elbow ash

eggplant without the skin

eqinsu ocha

expired cheese

expired milk

𝐅

feta cheese folks

flavourless oatmeal

flavourless twinkies

flashback mary

flour fleas

flour power

frost feind

frosted opossums

foam cups

funky dime smelling bitch

𝐆

greek yogurt

garlic goblin

ghost thugs

gora (horse in Hindu)

grandpa’s pubes

𝐇

hueless crayons

hueless hooligans

high spf sun factor 50/50

𝐈

ice chimp

ice mice

iron golems

infecting wipes

iphone chargers

iphone light mode

ivory individuals

ice scorpions

inkless markers

𝐉

jeff the killers

jizzy delinquents

jar of mayo

jackie crackies

jelly babies with too much powder

𝐊

keeho’s white wall

ku klux karen

ku klux kleenex

kleenex klumps

𝐋

la llorona

lice attractors

lice breeders

lice factories

light mayonnaise

light mode

livestock

low fat milks

𝐌

marshmallow fellows

maggots

marshmallow minions

milk crickets

milk man

milk maggots

milk muncher

modge podge

minecraft ghast

milk beetle

mozzarella cheese

mayo packets

mayo monkeys

mayo skunk

mayosapiens

mcdonald’s cup lid

mayonnaise murderers

melaninly challenged

mosquito larvae

𝐍

no seasoning seagulls

no purpose flour

nail clippings

naked rambutan

napkin american

𝐎

oyinbo

ode oshi

omo ale

ori buruku

oniranu

onisekuse

ode buruku

ode

obun

oloshi

olodo

𝐏

palm coloured ones

paperback

paper people

people of colonial complexion

people of no colour

pillsbury dough boys

pillsbury pillager

pigment challenged beast

pink africans

powdered donuts

popcorn ceiling

powder rangers

powdered crickets

powdered roaches

porcelain possums

poorly powdered doughnuts

printer paper

plain toast

polar bears

privileged primates

pwc(people without color)

peeled chicken nuggets

𝐐

q-tips

quails without color

𝐑

rabies foam

ranch guzzlers

ranch opossum

ranch raccoons

ranch rats

ranch roach

rice rats

rice rascals

𝐒

salt rocks

saltine cracka

salt shaker

salty scallywags

saltine

sand crabs

seasonably challenged people

sentient snowmen

sheepskin

silentos silencers

snow apes

snow bunnies

seasonedn’t

snicker lickers

snow opossum

snow rat

snow roach

snow toads

snow worm

sour cream gorillas

sour cream n onion

sour cream snakes

sour patch pilgrims

styrofoam balls

snow tribe

stanky ashes

silverfish mutations

styrofoam sickness

sundown sisters

sun poisoned serpents

𝐓

table salt tammies

teabag trespassers

thin lipped chalk child

tighty whitey

toilet paper travellers

toilet seat

teabag trespassers

translucent powder

translucent troglodyte

translucent tyrants

𝐔

useless crayon

uncoloured orangutan

uncoloured skittles

untitled document

undeveloped sperm

unedited google docs

unseasoned chicken

unused pad

unwhipped cream

𝐕

vanilla pudding cups

vanilla cricket

vanilla gorillas

vanilla vultures

vanilla villagers

vanilla wafers

volcano ash

𝐖

walking recessive genes

wiggerely wiggers

whipped cream armadillos

white board

white mutation

white neanderthals

white-out monkeys

white pus

wet dogs

walking dandruff

white trash

wannabe pocs

white tongue

white walker

wonder bread

𝐗

xanax blocks

xenophobic xylophones

𝐘

y'allternatives / y'allts

yogurts yodellers

yeast yeti

yeast yodellers

𝐙

zebra lacking stripes

zit insides

#chats. #<3

[just-horrible-things]

Story: Mina and Marten [First | Prev | Next]

---

Phone Call

"Mum!" Mina exclaims, making her voice just sunny with cheer. "Fancy hearing from you! What a nice surprise." "Yasmine, we need to talk." Well duh, thinks Mina, it's not like you'd call me just to catch up. "What would you like to talk about, Mummy dearest? I could tell you how my day is going, or you could ask about my love life, or--" "You know what," Mum interrupts. Mina sighs dramatically. "I'm sorry," she says, "I can only read minds over video call." "The boy." "You mean Marten? He has a name, Mum, although I suppose that would be a lot to ask since you can't even remember mine. I thought you didn't watch my 'brainless non-content'?" "Your Aunt Kate told me what 's going on."

"Oh, of course!" Mina giggles, high-pitched, aware of how the phone line will mangle the sound. "Auntie Katie hasn't talked to me in donkey's years so I'm sure she understands all the details of my life." "I've watched the videos. You have a human being, wearing a collar, living in your apartment and sleeping in a dog bed for Christ's sake."

Marten likes his bed, he said so. He said it's comfy. It's what the promotional videos show, it's what you're meant to do for a Boxie. Some YouTubers keep theirs in cages. What's she meant to do, have him sleep in her bed?

What she says is, "Everyone's doing it, Mum. Didn't you want me to make money? This is where the money is. Viewers just love Boxies!" "Stop using that tone with me, Yasmine. Just talk like a normal person." "That tone, Mummy? This is just what my voice is like! Maybe there's something wrong with the phone line, hold on a second." She blows into the microphone sharply.

Mum sighs dramatically. "Oh forget it. Don't you understand what you're doing?" "Boxies are perfectly legal, Mum. He signed a contract, I've seen it with my own eyes." "It's a thin veil over slavery! The corporations won't get away with it for long. The courts will come down hard on it, and then where will you be? Think about your reputation! You'll never get a real job if--" "I have a real job, Mum." "Legal or not, it's completely unethical. I'm ashamed to call you my daughter!" Another too loud giggle. "Oh I'm sorry Mummy, whatever will I do without your support? How about continue how I have been for the last ten years! Goodness, I don't know if I'll cope."

"He's a human being, Yasmine!" "I know that!" Mina snaps. "I never asked for this! Did you actually watch anything or did you look at a thumbnail and decide that you know everything? I didn't want some... stranger, living in my room! I didn't want a human pet! Someone else sent him to me!"

There is a silence. Mina sniffles, and fakes a little sob. Mum hates it when she cries.

"Well," Mum says at last, sounding affronted. "Can't you send him back?" "What a great idea," Mina sighs. "I sure wish I'd thought of that." "You could you just... set him loose. Doesn't he deserve to be free?" Mina is absolutely sure that Mum has not watched any of the footage. Probably she just looked at the video titles. She tries to imagine Marten on his own. Where would he sleep? What would he eat? He had a panic attack when he tried to ride the elevator down two floors to the laundry room for goodness' sake.

"Boxies have to be supervised, Mum. He'd be breaking his contract, he'd get into trouble! Do you need me to Google the rules for you? I could copy it out in nice small words if you'd like that." "Well you can't keep him. He's a human being!" "Mummy dearest," Mina's voice is cracking with emotion and she leans into it, overacting. "I am an independent adult, and I make my own choices. You ran out of excuses to control my life years ago! If you wanted a say, maybe you should have been nicer to me while I still cared!" "Oh Yasmine, do stop going on. It has nothing to do with our relationship. This is much more important." "I'm not even important to you?" "This is a person's life." "I know that, Mummy dearest! What do you even want me to do?" Mum hesitates. Mina pounces on the opening. "I know, I'll just send him back to the factory he came from, I'm sure the corporations will take much better care of him than I can, won't that be just fantastic?" "Why can't you ever discuss anything like an adult?" "I can! I just choose not to when it's you!"

She hears her mother start on another barb as she takes the phone from her ear. Her nagging voice cuts off as Mina ends the call.

Sniffling, she pulls a kleenex from the box and dabs delicately at her tears. It comes away black with makeup, and she wonders how badly she is smudged. Oh well. It's not like Marten cares.

Marten.

"Oh sugar."

Marten sits in his bed with his knees drawn up to his chest. Tears stream down his cheeks and over hands he has clamped over his mouth. He is shaking with silent sobs, staring horrified at Mina as if she might be about to murder him.

"Oh no, Marten!" Mina is mortified. "I'm so sorry, honey. I'm not mad at you, no one's mad at you. Marten, sweetheart, I was just on the phone to my mum, don't be upset!" She crouches beside him, worried, but he doesn't move. "Honey, you're not in trouble, what's wrong? I didn't mean to upset you, sweetie, talk to me?" “Don’t send me back!” he gasps, voice half-smothered with terror. “Please, please don’t -- don’t send me back!” "Okay! Okay, I won't! Don't panic, sweetheart!"

Without his hands holding them back, the sobs tumble out of Marten uncontrolled. Great ugly, breathy gasps of panic and despair. “I’m not sending you back,” Mina assures him frantically. Should she hug him? Give him space? "Oh honey, I was just saying that to my mum to make her go away, I would never! Don't be scared. You're so well-behaved, and so good for the cameras, and the viewers love you, why would I send you back?" ”I... I’m good?” “You’re very, very good. Poor sweetheart, how can I help you, I didn’t mean to upset you!” “Could, um, could you h-hold me?” Marten snivels pitifully. “Of course sweetie, of course I can. Come here.”

Marten practically throws himself into Mina's arms, knocking her back on her butt. She shuffles backwards to the closest beanbag, pulling him along with her, and gathers him into her lap. He clings to her clothes and sobs into her shoulder while she puts her arms around him and awkwardly pats his back.

"Shh, shh," she soothes, “There there, poor darling. It’s okay. It’s okay, you don’t have to be scared.” “Please don’t send me back,” he begs again, “I’ll be better, I’ll be anything you want, don’t send me ba-ack…” “It’s okay honey, it’s okay. I’m not sending you back. If you don’t want to go back, you don’t have to.” “Do… do you promise?” “I promise. If you don't want to, you don’t ever have to go back.” “Thank you,” Marten sobs, “Thank you, Mina.”

But he doesn’t stop crying.

“There you go,” Mina assures him, rocking him gently. “Poor thing. It’s okay. It’s okay to cry, just let it all out. I’m so sorry I scared you.” She thought he was crying hard before, but when she gives him permission he wails like a lost child.

And he doesn’t stop.

She holds him. She pets his hair and apologises. She rocks him and murmurs comfort words and he cries on and on and on, clinging tightly and bawling his eyes out.

Eventually, worried and a little exasperated, she pulls her head back far enough to see his face and asks “Honey, why are you crying?” He sniffles, and tries to stop sobbing long enough to answer. “I just want to be good,” he blubbers miserably. “I only want to be good for you, that’s what I’m for, I don’t know what to do.” “You are good, sweetie. You’ve never done anything bad at all.” He hides his face in her top and cries harder. “But,” he whimpers, “but you don’t want me…” “Oh, honey, no.” Mina feels awful. “Honey no, I didn't mean that, I was only talking to my mum...”

“I just want to be good.” The words seem to be spilling out of Marten now. “And good Boxies are, are wanted, they get bought and they go to nice homes with nice owners and, and they have happy lives fulfilling their owner’s desires and, and I thought I was good, I only want to make you happy, Mina, but I, I thought you wanted me and, and you don’t…” “Of course I want you, Marten, of course I do. I didn’t mean it like that, I, erm…”

“But you didn't even choose me,” Marten says softly. “You didn’t want a - a pet...” “I didn’t know that I wanted you,” Mina tells him. “That’s what I should have said. I didn’t know I wanted you. But Marten, you were a great surprise. It’s me who should be sorry. I’m not a very good owner. I don’t know how to keep you happy, and I don’t have a nice house or anything…” “You’re the best owner,” Marten blurts out with surprising vehemence. He starts crying again. “You’re so good to me and, and you’re kind, and pretty, and I love you, Mina. I just want to make you happy.” “You do make me happy, sweetie. You do.”

Mina has to hold him a good while longer, but he does start to calm down slowly. She stares solemnly at her posters on the wall, not really seeing them, as she murmurs reassurances on autopilot. Are these the right things to say? This is... such a huge responsibility. She wasn't ready for a cat, let alone a whole entire human being. He needs so much affection, all the time.

Mina is not cut out for this.

Eventually he stops crying. Mina waits another ten minutes before she tries to talk to him.

“Would it really be so very bad," she asks carefully, "going back to the company?” Marten stiffens instantly, hands tightening in her clothes. “Don’t worry!” she hurries to tell him, “I’m not gonna send you back! Not unless you want to go. I'm just asking, because I want to understand... why you’re so scared?” Marten is quiet. "You don't have to talk about it," Mina backtracks. "That's okay, I was just curious, don't worry about it. “If the owner sends a product back," Marten's voice is wobbly, "it needs to be refurbished. I… I don’t want to be refurbished…” “But you could have a better owner. A rich one, who can give you the luxury and stuff you signed up for. A big, tidy house. An owner who knows what they're doing...” “I don’t want anyone else,” he sniffles. “I want you.”

He’s starting to cry again. Mina sighs. “That’s okay then. You’ll stay here, and no one’s gonna send you back. Nothing to worry about. It’ll just be you and me.” She brushes the hair carefully away from his damp and sticky face. “And hey. If you keep bringing in the views, maybe some day we’ll have a nice house too.”

“I’m sorry I’m not better,” Marten tells her sadly. “I wish I was a smart Boxie so I could help you out and stuff…” “Oh sweetie. Shall I tell you a secret?” Mina smiles sadly. “I’m not very smart either. But it’s okay! You don’t have to be smart to do well on YouTube. You just have to look pretty. And we’re both pretty good at that!”

[Next]

#my writing #my ocs #mina and marten #mina #marten #box boys #slavery tw #modern slavery tw #human trafficking tw #youtuber whump #pet whump #reluctant caretaker #dehumanisation tw #animalisation tw #(mild) #collar tw

[cherryplasmids]

☆ the lives you’ve left behind ☆

pairing: donny donowitz x reader

fandom: inglourious basterds—post-movie sequence

anon request: hi girl! i love your writing and i was wondering if you still write for donny donowitz? if you do i was wondering if you could do an angsty one? that's all i ask, you could take that and run with it however :)

notes: the reader has a kid  — aldo is referred to the reader’s child as ‘uncle’ but that doesn’t mean they are actually related. also, aldo is married to a girl name jenny

— the child is a boy named Alex for filler purposes

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"That's your daddy," You whisper, pulling the tiny bundle of joy closer to your chest. 

The infant, swaddled in a pale yellow blanket decorated with small brown bears, yawns but does not take notice of your words. Instead, Alex twists, stretches his arms out and settles back onto your chest. Without a care in the world, he just relaxes in the warmth that you've given him. An inkling of envy flashes through you—you would do anything to be that carefree again. But the war ruined everything, including your unbridled youthful attitude. 

"Handsome, isn't he?" You question as if the little one will respond. You'd be more scared than anything if he does. You wave the 4x6 photo forward to entice your baby to look. "The most handsome man I've ever seen. Everyone thinks so too, even your uncle Aldo but he won't admit to that.

"But don't worry, baby. You'll be just as handsome and charming as your old man was." 

As if he understands, the boy babbles happily, spit freely spilling over his lips and onto his cheeks. Grabbing a Kleenex from the bedside table, you wipe his face. It doesn't deter him. He continues to express his enjoyment through spit bubbles and random giggling. Your heart swells at the sight—his happiness contagious enough to erase your woes for the night. 

When the sun rises, you'll tell Aldo all about the affection your newborn has been showing. He'll run down the street to coddle his nephew. 

You don't continue until your baby boy calms down enough to the point where spit no longer seeps out of his mouth. By then, sleepiness is taking hold of him. He gives out a deep yawn. One of his tiny hands grips your right thumb while the other curls into a fist and rubs his eyes. A smile quirks at your lips. You take that as a sign to turn in. 

“I’ll tell you about your daddy’s love for baseball tomorrow okay? I’ll even show you his prized baseball cards. but you can’t tell him or he’ll have my head.”

He’s knocked out by the time you lay him down. You pray he’ll sleep through the night, allowing you to earn to some much-needed shut-eye he’s deprived you of for months. After tucking him in, you tuck the photo of Donny under his pillow. You press a gentle kiss on his forehead, whisper a few sweet words to him, and then glide out of the room, leaving the door ajar in case he wails for your attention. You make do with this system until Jenny, Aldo's wife, takes you shopping for a baby monitor. She knows a lot more about baby care than you do.

Sleepiness is taking you hostage too with a yawn escaping your lips every 1-2 minutes but you had housework to complete before the morning arrives. Mostly just clearing out boxes of gifts the Donowitz family had sent from Boston. Some of them were open, others weren’t. Gifts like a microwave or other kitchenware were left in their respective box. You’ll deal with those on a later date. 

There’s one box, though, that remains sealed. You inspect the plain cardboard container and see a word written across one side in neat cursive. But it isn’t the penmanship that has you gasping and dropping the box in shock.

No, it’s the word 'Donny' labeled across the surface that does.

It takes a moment or two for you to shake off the shock and another to get down to the ground. Sitting cross-legged, you stare at the box as if something will pop out and yell “surprise”—a harmful prank that will send you wailing for something you no longer had.

The knife seamlessly glides across the tape and you wonder when you reached for a knife in the first place. Your body is moving on its own accord without a thought concerning your mental wellbeing. While your heart thuds painfully against your ribcage, your hands steadily tear open the cardboard overlaps. 

Taking a deep breath, you open the flaps and find a single sheet of paper covering the rest of the objects. It reads “for my darling daughter, with much love.” It’s signed “Mama Donowitz”.

Underneath the letter reveals a boatload of miscellaneous items from Donny's youth that he's shown to you with pride. His prized Lefty Grove signed baseball, favorite Wrigley's chewing gum, and his worn and torn favorite baseball glove stood out the most. Little things like that made you grin to the point where your cheeks reached your eyes. Anecdotes of Donny's childhood run through your mind—his voice echoing pure excitement. You take your time admiring each item, trying to permanently engrave them into your memory just like you had with his stories. 

Then you find Donny's baby socks, embroidered with his name in red string.  All resolve you bottled up for months disappeared instantly. You completely crumble.

You press the little socks to your chest as tears freely stream down your face and onto your neck, coating the bare skin with liquid. A wail bubbles up within you, crawling up your throat at a steady pace. But when you open your mouth to scream, nothing comes out. It dies in your throat. The only effort you can commit to is to rock back in forth, allowing sobs to shake your body. If someone saw you, they might have thought you were convulsing. They might have even called the ambulance. 

The sobs don’t stop until hours later. By the time your heart calms down from its burning thrum, exhaustion envelops you. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

           Aldo kicks some dirt on the side of the road while lighting up a Chesterfield. It doesn't take long for him to reach your house since it's down the road. He checks his wristwatch before knocking on the front door. He has about 45 minutes to meet Jenny at the factory. He'll spend 15 minutes here for coffee before leaving. You always made better coffee than his wife. 

After some knocking and no response, Aldo takes it upon himself to check through the windows. Most of them are covered by curtains but the window facing the breakfast table isn't. He peers through, searching for you and his nephew wrapped in your arms. 

Instead, he finds you on the floor with no baby in sight. 

Aldo runs to the back door and searches for the hidden key. Besides the backdoor, he digs under the false rock where he remembered he put. It’s gone. The Chesterfield falls into the hole. He crushes it out and fixes the dirt on top. As an act of impulse, he stands up, goes to the backdoor, and punches out the small window panels on the door. The glass breaks easily and shards pierce his hand just as smoothly. Just glancing at it, he can tell his flesh is free from any lingering shards. A clean slice on his wrist bleeds moderately. 

He reaches on the opposite side of the door and tugs at the locks. Not a second later, the door slams open, and you shoot up in an upright position. 

Immediately, a fury of questions spews out of Aldo's lips, blending together and becoming unintelligible to your groggy brain. 

"Is it morning already? I swear I took a five-minute na—" You see Aldo's bleeding hand and gasp, reaching out to inspect his wound. Your current position on the floor completely escaping you for a moment. Aldo lets you worry for right now. 

You drag him up to the sink and run his hand over the open water. "Will I be alright, doc?" His odd accent leaves a few letters out. It reminds you of someone you try not to think about. "Ain't seen such a wound since the war."

Briefly glancing at him, he throws a wink and you gratefully smile. "You're the bane of my existence." You take his hand out of the water to wrap it in a big Band-Aid. It has crude miniature drawings of Mickey Mouse that make Aldo question them. "Just in case either your kids or mine get hurt, they'll immediately cheer up at seeing Mickey. Band-Aid should really invest in designing their product. Who knows how much money they could make?"

Aldo agrees as you finish. "You'll see another day, lieutenant"

He crookedly grins at you and thanks you for your service. You offer him some coffee which he enthusiastically agrees too. He checks his watch as he sits down at the breakfast table. Jenny will have his head if he's late. But he doesn't worry too much about that. She'll understand once he explains what happened. 

"Mind tellin’ me why I caught a heart attack on this fine Thursday mornin’? Findin’ you sprawled out like freshly ran over roadkill?"

"Disgusting, Aldo." You say while passing him his mug of coffee. You turn around to fix yourself a toasted bagel with cream cheese. "I guess I was so tired last night that I fell asleep sorting out the gifts." You lazily wave your hand at the unsorted boxes on the floor. 

Aldo walks over to the opened box in the middle of the kitchen and grabs the socks you dropped hours ago. He looks them over and notices a letter embroidered on the top. 'D' in red thread. 

"Those are Donny's." You confirm. Aldo meets your glazed gaze. 

Aldo sucks in a quick breath. It finally clicks in his head. Jenny will understand. 

“Darlin—" You look up at him with such a depressed expression that immediately shuts him up. All he does is gather you in his arms and rests his chin on your head.

 He hears you mumble something about how small Donny's feet were before you silently cry into his chest. 

After a few seconds, Aldo's cheeks become wet with his own tears as he mourns over not only his friend but the lives he left behind. 

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

word count: 1,661 published: august 21, 2020  edited: n/a

#donny #donny x reader #Donny Donowitz #sgt donny donowitz #donny donowitz fanfiction #donny donowitz x reader #donny donowitz imagine #inglorious basterds #inglourious basterds x reader #inglourious basterds imagine #inglourious basterds fanfiction #x reader #imagines #eli roth #my writing #fanfiction #anon requests

[dealgemeneverwarring]

De Algemene Verwarring #50 - 22 May 2021

The fiftieth episode of De Algemene Verwarring was broadcast on Saturday May 22 2021, and you can listen to it by clicking on the Mixcloud widget below. And if that does not work, here’s the direct link to the Mixcloud page:

https://www.mixcloud.com/MedialabKortrijk/radio-sinksen-de-algemene-verwarring-50-zaterdag-22-mei-22u-00u

De Algemene Verwarring #50 was actually live on Sinksen Radio by Quindo on Saturday evening from 10pm to 00pm. It was part of the Sinksen Radio: Quindo had the possibility to broadcast on 92.2FM radio as part if the Sinksen Fest in hometown Kortrijk, a three day festival that due to to usual reasons wasn’t a real fest like it used to be. Anyway, I was part of this and it was episode 50, so this is a two hour long party edition, it’s music to dance to and there’s nothing else spectacular about it. No 17 minutes noise tracks and I’m not even talking a lot so there’s really nothing but advantages about this episode.

Pictured below are Ramones, the best punk band in the world. And that is all I have to say about it. And beneath the photo you can find the playlist for this show. Enjoy!

Playlist:

The Undertones: Teenage Kicks (7” on Good Vibrations Records, 1978)

Ramones: Sheena Is A Punk Rocker (CD “Anthology (Hey Ho Let’s Go!)” on Rhino Records, 1999)

Buzzcocks: What Do I Get? (LP reissue “Singles Going Steady” in Domino Records, 2019, originally released in 1979 on I.R.S. Records)

Wipers: Over The Edge (LP “Over The Edge” on Brain Eater Records, 1983)

Gaunt: Jim Motherfucker (7” “Jim Motherfucker” on Get Hip Recordings, 1993)

Suburban Homes: Unemployed (7” “Unemployed/Anxiety Attack” on Total Punk, 2017)

X-Ray Spex: Identity (LP “Germfree Adolescents” on EMI, 1978)

Kleenex: Ü (2LP “First Songs” on Kill Rock Stars & Mississippi Records, 2016, originally released on a 7” by Rough Trade Records in 1979)

Holly & The Italians: Tell That Girl To Shut Up (7” on Oval Records, 1979)

Oblivians: Christina (CD “Popular Favorites” on Crypt Records, 1995)

The Feeling Of Love: Hand Clap Girl (7” Hand Clap Girl (Pray For The 90’s)” on Rococo Records, 2007)

Chrome Cranks: Dead Cool (LP “Dead Cool” on Crypt Records, 1995)

Kyra: Punk Rock Ist Nicht Tot (7” “Doodlebug/Punk Rock Ist Nicht Tot” on Damaged Goods Records, 1998)

Thee Headcoatees: Johnny Jack! (split 7” with Thee Headcoats on Damaged Goods Records, 1995)

Karo: Dans le ventre d’une énorme baleine (LP V/A “Sin-Sa-Tion! Vol. 3 More Wild Exotic Grooves And Beats!” on Les Disques Mondiales, 2011)

Les Marylènes: Le Beau Tétard Sur Con Cigare (LP V/A “Bingo! French Punk Exploitation 1978-1981” on Born Bad Records, 2017)

Unknown Group: When I Feel Better (LP V/A “Back From The Grave Volume 9” on Crypt Records, 2014)

Siouxsie & The Banshees: Love In A Void (7” “Mittageisen/Love In A Void” on Polydor, 1979)

Delta 5: Mind Your Own Business (CD V/A “Rough Trade Shops - Post Punk 01” on Rough Trade, 2003, originally released on a 7” by Rough Trade in 1979)

Wire: I Am The Fly (LP reissue “Chairs Missing” on Pink Flag, 2018, originally released on Harvest in 1978)

TC Matic: HaHa (LP “Choco” on EMI, 1983)

The Fall: Big New Prinz (LP “I Am Kurious Oranj” on Beggars Banquet, 1988)

The Names: Calcutta (7” “Calcutta/Postcard” on Factory Benelux, 1982)

Tuxedomoon: No Tears (12” “No Tears” on Siuperior Viaduct, 2013, originally released  by the band in 1978)

Suicide: Ghost Rider (LP reissue “Suicide” on Red Star Records, 1999, originally released in 1977)

The B-52’s: Dance This Mess Around (LP “The B-52’s” on Island Records, 1979)

Ruth: Polaroid/Roman/Photo (LP V/A “BIPPP : French Synth-Wave 1979/85” on Born Bad Records, 2006)

1000 Ohm: A.G.N.E.S. (7” “A.G.N.E.S./Look Around” on Rain Records, 1982)

Esplendor Geometrico: Moscu Esta Helado (2LP V/A “The Minimal Wave Tapes Volume One” on Stones Throw Records, 2010)

DAF: Als Wär's Das Letzte Mal (LP “Alles Ist Gut” on Virgin Records, 1981)

Christophe Clébard: La Confusion C’est Dépression (LP “Honte” on Les Albums Claus & Knotwilg Records, 2019)

Boy Harsher: Electric (LP “Country Girl Uncut” on Nude Club Records, 2019)

M.I.A.: Galang (CD “Arular” on XL Recordings, 2005)

The Bug: Ascension (2LP “Angels & Devils” on Ninja Tune, 2014)

Françoise Hardy: Le Premier Bonheur Du Jour (7” “Le Premier Bonheur Du Jour” on Disques Vogues, 1963)

[mega-aulover]

Dear Friends,

I wanted to take a moment to thank you for your generosity. This has been the hardest moment of my life. My daddy was a pistol. He was silly. He had a warped sense of humor. He loved baseball, Star Trek, Star Wars, ChickFlics, yup... he sat down and watched Titanic with my sisters when I couldn't stomach it. He was the guy ready with a Kleenex when boys broke my sister's and I hearts (my mom on the other hand well We had to hide the shovels and a black plastic bags)-

I miss him. Every day. I still half expect him to get a phone call from him. I fought so hard... Sorry.

I just wanted to say thank you on behalf of my family. Thankyou for Your cards, your calls, emails, messages, IM's, and all the ways that you all have shown your support, care, and love. We have good days, and we have bad days. Yesterday was a bad day.

We mourn not just for my daddy, but for so many others who have lost a loved one, or who have loved ones that are on the front lines: Mail carrier's, Sanitation Workers, Amazon workers, Food Delivery, Supermarket Staff, Fire and Rescue, Ambulance, all...Medical Fields, Factory Workers, Drugstore Employee's. Restaurant Staff / Employees, our Army Core of Engineer's, and National Guardsmen- Plus all other Essential workers.

I pray you keep safe and that your families are safe. Stay Home.

Love

[pattern-recognition]

I’m morally obliged to post songs that aren’t available in isolation anywhere

and I transcribed the lyrics -> 

Come away from the window, there ain’t no one home

Roll the rug back to the wall and disconnect the phone

It took a couple of mondays and a friday or two, 

A couple of letters and another tattoo, 

To buy the time you need to pay the lady

You asked her to dance and all she said was, “maybe” 

Ain’t it just a dream

Put one, two, three for sugar, four more for cream

Seven days and 11 nights you never remember your dreams

The spoons are all twisted and the kleenexes blue,

And the bottles are all whistling a delicate tune 

And no one brings the mail except on sunday, 

And all the utilities are due for shutoff monday

Ain’t it just a dream

Now the magazines are staring, in aisle 17

With beautiful, beautiful models with the teeth of beauty queens

They’re laughing and dancing and looking at you, but something inside you is making you blue 

There must be someplace else you lay your head

So you think about leaving but settle for drinking in bed

Ain’t it just a dream

Now the wind is creaking the branches, the hinges are torn from the door

And one of your uncles has just passed away and he left you a hole in the floor

The shower is tired of running on you, 

The telephone wires are wearing your shoes

They said it was just a sleepy factory town 

But it seems that everyone is sleeping two yards underground

Ain’t it just a dream, Ain’t just a dream

#yet #daniel kahn #*daniel kahn cowboy noises*

[lannasroleplaymemes]

Bad Pun Sentence Starters

Send one to my Muse, or alternatively send  👍and my Muse will say one to you!

“What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.” “Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.” “A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here.’” “Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!” “How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!” “Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.” “I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.” “How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.” “Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.” “'Wow, you’re a fart smella…I mean smart fella!” “I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!” “What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1” “Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.” “What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.” “How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.” “Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.” “I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.” “Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.” “How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.” “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.” “Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.” “Don’t call me later, call me Dad.” “What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant” “Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.” “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.” “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.” “What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.” “I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.” “The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.” “This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.” “5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.” “Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?”“ "What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.” “What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.” “I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.” “To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide but you can’t run.” “The rotation of earth really makes my day.” “I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.” “What’s brown and sticky? A stick.” “I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!” “Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.” “Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.” “A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.” “I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.” “Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.” “I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.” “People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.”

#rp meme #type: sentence #emo: funny

[oldshowbiz]

1982 - Kimberly-Clark pulled their sponsorship from Lou Grant after Ed Asner criticized the foreign policy of Elliot Abrams and Ronald Reagan in El Salvador. Jerry Falwell applied pressure on the program’s sponsors, although Kimberly-Clark didn’t need much convincing. They ran a factory in El Salvador where they manufactured Kleenex tissues and Huggies diapers.

#El Salvador #foreign policy #america #Lou Grant #Ed Asner #Ronald Reagan

[liminalchasm]

maybe tey are no longer made in omniums? they have the blueprints to create AI, they can just as easily assemble them in regular factories. It might be slower than an omnium but you wouldnt want too many omnics anyway. Yeah, they're sapiant and as deserving of rights as humans, but they can very quickly take over the workforce and drive people to the poverty line. Theres probably a yearly limit on new omnics

yeah that would make more sense, it would be hard to create them outside of omniums for sure. makes me think that ‘omnic’ is one of those brand names that sort of replaced the generic, like kleenex or jello or bandaid.

as for taking over the workforce and driving down wages, that would only happen in a capitalist system that forced people to work menial jobs, and i like to think the world of overwatch is a little more advanced than that. if they have sapient robots, they’ve got to have grappled with late capitalism to some degree, right?

[nightmareonfilmstreet]

7 Horror Reads to Chill Your Soul This Summer

It’s summertime, and word on the street is that the livin’ is easy. If you’re anything like me, summer’s arrival means that you’re hiding in the air conditioning and comfort of your home (mosquitos find me quite the tasty treat and I’m not trying to contract West Nile). Othersout there who aren’t as delicious to the carnivorous ectoparasites of the world as I am are hitting the road. They’re going to the beach, they’re camping, and they’re laying in the sun to absorb the delectable, radioactive rays of the sun. It’s the time of cold drinks, loud music, and if you’re a fiend like the rest of here at NOFS, spooky stories.

While the rest of the world tries to limit the creepy and macabre to the month of October, we live a life of perpetual petrification. When you’re at the beach or hanging out by the pool, let the other people get in and splash around like shark bait. We know that there’s nothing sweeter than a horror novel to help keep you cool and take your breath away. So, for this article, I’m going to highlight some of my favorite horror novels that are great summer reads.

So what makes a horror novel a “Great Summer Read”? Well, brevity is a plus. We don’t really want to be lugging around Stephen King’s IT or Robert McCammon’s Swan Song on our way to the beach or up a hiking trail. I struggle to carry those beasts from my bookshelf to the couch, to be honest. So, while it’s not an automatic disqualification, I tried to stay away from the 1,000 page behemoths of the horror world. I also tried to take a look at subject matter and pick titles that involve summer, summer breaks, vacations, or basically anything that can whisk you away to land of pure imagination. Basically what I’m saying to all of you is that this is a completely subjective list. I loved reading these titles either this summer or in summers past, and I think you will, too.

So, without further ado, here is my list of Great Summer Horror Reads:

  1. The Troop by Nick Cutter

    This was the first novel I read from Nick Cutter, and it hooked me for life. It follows a troop of 5 14-year-old boys as they embark on their yearly summer scout adventure on Falstaff Island, an uninhabited area not far from their home on Prince Edward Island. Their excursion is cut short when a bone-thin, obviously diseased man who tries to eat everything in sight lands on the island. Scoutmaster Tim does his best to help the man, but he is soon overtaken and the boys face a nightmare that worms its way into the group and destroys what they thought they knew about themselves.

This book is gory. It is disgusting. It is a vivid walking nightmare that is best read out in the open air, surrounded by other people. Nick Cutter has proven himself to be one of the most visual authors in the horror genre, and never is that more evident than in The Troop. He uses the remote setting and the fear of foreign beings inside your body with an insatiable appetite to create a suffocating sense of paranoia and claustrophobia. You are trapped on this small island with these boys as they fight the disease that brought the skeletal man to their shores, and you must find the survivor inside of you to make it off.

Perfect For: A long hike and camp in the wilderness. Read it by the light of your Coleman lantern. Don’t worry about the noises you hear in the darkness, they only approach when they’re hungry…

  2. The Cabin at the End of the World by Paul Tremblay

    I didn’t think that a book would ever crawl inside my bones quite like Tremblay’s A Head Full of Ghosts did. I was wrong. His new novel, The Cabin at the End of the World is his most tense, terrifying book to date, which is saying a lot.

Seven-year-old Wen and her dads are vacationing at their cabin deep in the forests of New Hampshire when she is approached by a giant stranger. He seems pretty weird, and he tells her that her dads are not going to want to let him in the house, but that they have to. Then three more just like him show up. Wen runs into the cabin and her parents barricade the door. The strangers approach, and they knock. They are disciples of a god that visits them in visions, and Wen and her parents are the only people capable of ending the coming apocalypse.

This is much more than a home-invasion story. It’s s tale of survival, sacrifice, apocalypse and doom that has you guessing until the very last chapter. Not only is the fate of this loving family at risk, but the future of the entire human race may just rest on their shoulders. (Side note: The Cabin at the End of the World is the first horror novel that I have read that has a queer family at its center. I know there must be others, but this is a first for me. Well done, Paul Tremblay.)

Perfect For: Staying at that creepy lodge you booked online. You and your family should be just fine! Maybe just don’t answer the door when you hear a knock, ok?

  3. Providence by Caroline Kepne

    You may know the name Caroline Kepnes from her amazing novel You, which has been turned into a series for Lifetime that will air this fall. Her depiction of narcissist/psycopath Joe Goldberg was refreshing, funny, dark, and utterly terrifying. Providence, her third novel, follows a different path than her earlier works, but it is just as gripping and horrifying.

One morning, middle-schooler Jon Bronson is abducted from his small New Hampshire town (what is the deal with New Hampshire, you guys? I mean, is it really that spooky?). He awakens at his home four years later with no memory of his kidnapping or his captivity. Beside him is a copy of H.P. Lovecraft’s The Dunwich Horror and a letter from his abductor that tells him that he is fine, but he has an un-specified special ability. The joy that his best friend Chloe feels after his return is smashed to pieces once they find out that his “special ability” begins to threaten the lives of those he loves.

Kepnes is one of the finest authors in the world and she is a master at creating pace and tension. All three of her novels force your eyes across the page like they are tied to the front of a freight train. Providence is an exploration of not only what makes us human, but what keeps us that way.

Perfect For: Sitting on the back porch with a sweet tea and plenty of sunshine. Be sure to pack sunscreen for the rays and extra Kleenex for the nosebleeds that will splatter the page.

  4. Some Will Not Sleep by Adam Nevill

    A bestial face appears at windows in the night. In the big white house on the hill, angels are said to appear. A forgotten tenant in an isolated building becomes addicted to milk. A strange goddess is worshipped by a home-invading disciple. The least remembered gods still haunt the oldest forests. Cannibalism occurs in high society at the end of the world. The sainted undead follow their prophet to the Great Dead Sea. A confused and vengeful presence occupies the home of a first-time buyer . . .

If you have read any of my articles, then you know how much I love Adam Nevill and his terrifying tales. I was able to interview him last year (check it out HERE), and that piece remains the highlight of my journalistic career. Most of you may know him as the author of The Ritual and Last Days, but I fell like his work that is most like a “Great Summer Read” is his collection of short stories, Some Will Not Sleep.

While the book itself has some girth, it is conveniently sectioned into several perfectly crafted short tales of the horrifying and disturbing. These stories, according to Nevill on his website, were written and published between 1995 and 2011, and they reflect fears that are often the author’s own. About the title of the book, I can’t explain it better than the Master himself:

Some within it do not sleep, some who read it may not sleep, and he who wrote it often doesn’t sleep.

Perfect For: Reading in the car on the way to your destination. That way, the nightmares hopefully won’t be able to find you as you travel down the road.

  5. Rabbit in Red: The Complete Series by Joe Chianakas

    (Disclaimer: Joe is a local author that I have had the pleasure of working with in the past through my job. The inclusion of his series was neither asked for nor was it paid for… Joe… come on, man. GIVE ME SOME MONEY, BRO!)

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory was designed, created and run by Rob Zombie? Well, wonder no more! This series of books (the first of which was selected to be included in a 2016 Horror Block and sent out to tens-of-thousands of subscribers), compiled together in one volume, follows a group of teens as they spend their summer vacation competing for an internship under the reclusive owner of a horror film company.

They compete in VR challenges that mirror some of the most iconic scenes in horror film history and intense trivia that will leave even the most knowledgable horror hounds scratching their heads. This series of books is a quick read that will keep you up at night as the kids win their internships and enter the dark web of their beneficiary. It is a love letter to the horror genre and, as it did with me, it will make you fall in love with the genre all over again.

Perfect For: Handing out to your teenage niece or nephew when they visit for the week. They have annoyed you enough with the youth-words that they use, so it will feel really good to keep them up at night.

  6. Meg: A Novel of Deep Terror by Steve Alten

    You didn’t think I would put out a list like this and not include a shark book? You know nothing about me! Instead of going with the classic Jaws by Peter Benchley (which, to be honest, I really do not care for), I decided to opt for the book that started the series that the next great shark movie, The Meg, is based on.

Jonas Taylor is a deep sea diver working with the United States Navy. He spots a Megalodon while on a top-secret mission in the Mariana Trench. No body believes him, of course, because the Megalodon is supposed to have been extinct for millions of years. To prove them wrong, Jonas becomes a paleontologist (as one does) and attempts to find the beast again. His wish is granted when he returns to the Trench, only this time, one of the beasts follows him back up to the surface.

Chaos ensues. People are gobbled up like Tic Tacs and there’s only one man in the world that can stop it. JASON MOTHERF**KING STATH… oh, sorry… JONAS TAYLOR!

It’s ridiculous in all the right ways. It is a 50’s monster movie come to life with thrills, chills, blood and awesome one-liners.

Perfect For: Enjoying the bay while laying on one of those giant inflatable pool floats that look like a swan. You know the ones! Take a deep breath, relax, and hope that there’s nothing watching you from beneath the waves.

  7. Malevolents: ‘Click Click’ by Thom Burgess and Joe Becci

    I must say that I am a novice in the realm of horror comics. I know that there are a lot of them out there, but I’ve just never gotten into that style of horror literature. I can gladly say that Malevolents: ‘Click Click’ has opened my eyes to a whole new world of terror.

This incredible comic book from award winning writer Thom Burgess follows four school friends who dare one another to spend the night in one of Britain’s most haunted houses. They bring along with them an Ouija Board (what could go wrong), and tell each other the story of the ghost that lives in the walls and wants to take your tongue from your mouth.

I include it in this list because it is short (only 32 pages or so), it’s horrifying, and it transports you to a different place and time. If you’re stuck at home due to work or insufficient funds, Malevolents will take you on a trip that you will never forget.

Perfect For: Reading by flashlight after a summer storm has knocked out your power. If you don’t look at the shadows crawling out of the walls, they won’t come after you… I promise. ‘Click’

So, there you have it! Whether you’re out and about this summer or hanging out in the house like me, here are 7 horror reads that will chill your bones and keep you cool as the temperature rises. Do yourself a favor and pick these titles up today! While you’re at it, join our Facebook group, Horror Fiends of Nightmare on Film Street, and let us know what you think.

  The post 7 Horror Reads to Chill Your Soul This Summer appeared first on Nightmare on Film Street - Horror Movie Podcast, News and Reviews.

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