#like I cannot stress enough how generalized this is

[drdemonprince]

I deal with impermanence by practicing radical acceptance and other DBT skills. I do have a really hard time with change and with things changing unexpectedly and outside of my control. And I used to get really mad and upset about it and try to get control back by manipulating other people or just generally being a bitch about it.

But now, I use my really great DBT skills, mostly radical acceptance but a few other distress tolerance skills like TIPP. For me, radical acceptance let's me have my anger and other emotions without trying to control what I cannot. I'm still mad about it and I still get really dysregulated, but I just tell myself that it's happened, there's nothing I can do about it, and I need to figure out how I will react to it.

As an example, I was flying from Texas to Chicago in December to spend the holiday with my best friend and their family. I purposefully bought a ticket (it was United) so that I could have my personal item and my checked bag. I paid extra for that. But once they started boarding, the gate agent said they were overbooked and they needed some people to volunteer to check their bags otherwise at a certain point, it wouldn't be voluntary. I was pretty pissed about this and dysregulated anyway (traveling is so stressful for me) and I was just really hoping I could get through before they needed to start checking bags because I already had a hell of a time packing, I didn't have my hard shell suitcase, and none of my bags had locks on them. But literally the person in front of me in line was the last person to be able to take both their bags and the gate agent asked me if I could check a bag that didn't have anything important in it (like electronics or medical equipment). I barely fit my things into my bags as is and I did have important stuff in both bags, so I told her as much. And she basically told me that either I figure it out, or I'm not getting on the plane. I was pissed and about to cry. I was so full of rage. And I was embarrassed. But I took a breath, stepped to the side, and tried to figure it out. I knew arguing would not get me what I wanted and I needed to get on that plane. So I got everything sorted, had them check my bag, and got on the plane. The kicker was that once I did get on the plane and everyone was boarded, THERE WAS TONS OF ROOM LEFT IN THE OVERHEAD BINS SO I DIDNT NEED TO CHECK MY BAG ANYWAY. (Yes I'm still really mad about this). But I practiced my breathing, told myself I had no control over the situation, controlled what I could (my own behavior) and said to myself that I'll figure it out when I get to Chicago. It was fine. I didn't lose my bag or any of my stuff. I didn't have a meltdown but my rage lasted til about half way through the flight. And the next day I went to go get bag locks at target. So radical acceptance, TIPP, and controlling what I can control is usually how I deal with it.

Speaking of DBT! Thank you so much for sharing this story with us, Anon. Traveling is ROUGH and a huge part of that is because our disability is manufactured by shitty corporations like United -- the disruption would be bad enough on its own! but then they go and reduce seat sizes, cut storage bin access, overbook flights, and just straight up lie to customers, creating all kinds of stress for those of us who just want to know what to fucking expect. Glad you were able to find a way to cope with all that bullshit! Sometimes being pissed for an hour or two but doing what you needed to do is a huge W.

[queerbuckleys]

Repeat after me: two actors having chemistry does not mean they are or should be in a relationship off screen.

#the prevalence of the inability to separate actor from character is a HUGE factor here #and #the way the pre-ic era has made this so precedent is my origin story tbh #this is not @ anyone in particular fr fr #just always thinking about it #like I cannot stress enough how generalized this is

[lbhslefttiddie]

youve heard of sex flowers get ready for the flower that makes you into a celestial shoujo herione complete with particle effects you cannot turn the fuck off and creates a wifebeam so powerful it can incapacitate and maim and keeps making you burst into tears and fall on your ass which makes the wifebeam More Powerful and you also cannot turn this off either. and is also still, sort of, a sex flower

from one of my favorite fanfictions, Celestial Afterglow by elanor_pam, a fic that defies description in the best possible way

#arts #shen qingqiu #svsss #listen im not saying that ive spent a cumulative half a year reading this fic and then trying to make an arts for it #and then getting frustrated and stopping because i couldn't figure out how to make sqq shimmery enough #but like. im not NOT saying that #this is the FOURTH time ive started something for this bitch it haunts my fucking dreams and yet the opalescent glittery sqq evades me #perhaps you o unlearned fool look at this and say hmm that's too many colour layers and glowy effects but oh how wrong you are #if it doesnt make you literally fall over yourself at how otherworldly and radiant he is then there is room for improvement yet #perhaps you look at this and you think Wow!!! this gives me literally NO ideas what this fic is about #well Let Me Tell You. i have no fucking idea how to summarize this fic #its not often the tags in a fic give me pause but i saw this and as i read the tags i was increasingly just like What #but i have no idea how to describe it. the tags arent NOT accurate but i was SO unprepared for what happened in like an extremely pos way #if i were tagging this i think i would give it the no archive warnings apply label if that matters to you #the author seemed they wanted to leaned towards over caution rather than risk missing anything re tags because This Is A Weird Fic #but oh my fucking god #i am gripping you by the shoulders i cannot stress enough how charming it is #brilliant characterization especially with airplane in the first scene #and also so much fucking funnier than i thought possible for the general setting summary tags and buildup #its just. ough. its good

[qrovidcore]

so HEY UH

WAS ANYBODY GOING TO TELL ME THAT DURGE AND ASTARION REALLY DO HAVE THE SAME TRAUMA OR

WAS I JUST SUPPOSED TO FIND THESE PARALLELS OUT FOR MYSELF

OH OKAY YOU ALSO WERE TRAPPED AND HURT YOURSELF TRYING TO CLAW YOUR WAY OUT?????? YOU ALSO WERE THE SPECIAL LITTLE PET OF THE PERSON WHO TORTURED YOU, WHO IMMEDIATELY STARTS TALKING DOWN TO YOU THE SECOND YOU SEE THEM AGAIN?????? OKAY. YEAH. WE CAN COMPARE NOTES IF YOU’D LIKE.

#ALSO ALSO. THE *WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME.* THE BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF WHEN FOUND DYING. I M #SCREAMING #DURGESTARION NATION. WHERE ARE YOU. I NEED YOU. #DURGESTARION NATION PLEASE #THIS IS A DURGESTARION POST I CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH #DURGESTARION ;—; #IT’S ABOUT THE PARALLELS IT’S ABOUT HOW SO MUCH OF WHAT THEY’VE BEEN THROUGH IS THE SAME #IT’S ABOUT THE BEING A TOOL AND A PET FOR SOMETHING MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU IT’S ABOUT THE BEING MADE TO SOMETHING MONSTROUS #BEING MADE TO BE A WEAPON #A ND IT’S ABOUT THE CYCLE BREAKING TOO OKAY #WAAAAHHHHHHH #MY RUN IS ABOUT ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY #AND THAT THING IS THESE TWO SUPPORTING EACH OTHER ABOUT FIGHTING BACK AGAINST AND GETTING FREE OF CAZADOR AND BHAAL RESPECTIVELY OKAY #bg3 #the paranoid android speaks! #also listen am i cringefail at naming video game characters? yes. #my durge is an elf i pulled up an elf name generator and picked the first thing i could reliably pronounce what do you Want from me #bold of you to assume i don’t name my actual d&d characters like this too

[vivi-the-sky-kid]

Psst

Ya wanna know my technique for getting around 17.5 candles a day without going Everywhere?

Geyser -> Brook Candle Cake and Light Farm -> Grandma -> Sunset Turtle

Then just do:

Whatever realm has the treasure candles for the day

Basic Vault (focus on the candle cakes)

Village of Dreams and Hermit Valley cakes

And then maybe the bouquets from Performance, the cake in Wind Paths, and then the cake in Starlight Desert (since the path to it is right next to the one in Wind Paths)

Super fast and doesn't take too much effort aside from getting to the timed events on time and dealing with Vault

#sky children of the light #also make sure to grab the cakes n big plant in sanctuary #i cannot stress enough how thankful i am for those shared memories and spaces in vault #that get you through the doors to get the candle cakes #because seeing a chibi clip through when there are 3 other people in the area #or seeing a group of people leave even when they would complete the amount needed for the door #has filled me with more rage than i can handle #also shout out to the people who put light burning shared spaces around the light farms #makes it so much easier #in general I recommend focusing on big ticket items like candle cakes and big dark plants over just fully running the whole realm

[aresianrepose]

Extremely fucked up that in an arc where everyone is constantly saying they have to get more powerful no matter what right after Ashton literally had to jump into a pit of lava, Laudna is out here with Delilah in her head, and FCG actively attacking the group... Ashton gets blamed for *checks notes* asking if Fearne wanted the crystal, to which she says she thinks it's meant for HIM and somehow it's all Ashton's fault?? Imagine getting exploded into literal shards and having no one, even for a second, care if you're okay? And immediately jumping to the conclusion that you manipulated someone else??? What the fuck.

#ashton greymoore #cr3 #critical role spoilers #like i understand there were warnings #but i cannot stress enough how the entire mantra for this arc has been power no matter the cost #AND Ashton had literally just got done putting himself in a pit of lava for this shard #and i feel like lava has the general warning sign of this will kill you so #and Fearne is EQUALLY responsible

[chefpookardee]

aaaAAAAAAHHHH

THEY ARE HERE

AND @antidotesprout INCLUDED THIS LOVELY LIL' ARTWORK 💜💕💕 (the luvdisc)

they fit perfectly into your hand and are around the size of a sitting cutie pokemon plush which is PERFECT because it is ACCURATE as they are also sitting cuties

no hats!!! they are attached by a lil thread on the backs of their heads and the keychain atop their heads fits through the hat through a little slot! and also hides in there if need be!

and the detail for their hair and eyebrows! their lil coats!! ♪(´▽｀) these are so well made oh gosh

IN CONCLUSION:

i love them your honor

thank you SO SO SO much again, @antidotesprout, not just for having the giveaway but making them altogether!! you have a HUGE talent for this, and you're going to make so much of the submas fandom overjoyed to have some little guys of their own. suffice to say I would have gladly paid if I hadn't won the giveaway (which is still wild to me), and I will gladly be a repeat customer should you branch out into other plush like you hope to!

(❁´◡`❁) I'm gonna hold these lil guys near and dear for a long time 💜

#antidotesprout #submas #pokemon #pokemon ingo #pokemon emmet #THE LIL DRAWING IS SO CUTE TOO THANK YOU THANK YOU #and the luvdisc made me very happy ahh #subway boss emmet #subway boss ingo #cannot stress enough how good you are at this #plush making art in general everything #i hope you CAN get to the point where you can make things full time like you wish to #fave

[sjofn-lofnsdottr]

Holidays

Farron mentioned he's never celebrated Starlight 'properly' to Dusk, and Estinien hasn't really bothered in a long time. It's a huge holiday in Dusk's family, so obviously he's excited to drag them both to their celebration of it. It will be loud, have all the food and drink, and probably leave them all exhausted.

But there's a quiet part of Starlight too, for just them.

#ffxiv #gpose #ffxivpolyamweek24 #dusk and farron #and what's his face #i cannot stress enough how much dusk is looking forward to this eventually #also they are absolutely going to visit the orphanage later too #farron likes making them treats #estinien likes playing with them #dusk likes making people in general happy #so how could they not?

[fluxweeed]

hey. hope this message doesn't bother you. I love you. I love your work. you are one of my favorite fic authors, I am absolutely obsessed with everything you write. reread everything ten times over, drarry or not, fluffy or angsty - even when it absolutely shatters my heart (e.g. for lack of wanting, SUCH a great fic btw i'm so obsessed with it). the four doors? life changing. two to lie and one to listen? engraved into my brain for eternity. what's mine is yours? what a ride holy shit, im VERY normal about it. wrapped? my comfort read. and so it goes.

if I could aggressively smother you with kudos and love I WOULD!!!

awhile ago you said that there's no such thing as "big deals" in fandom and I 100% agree but at the same time you are a big deal TO ME!!! not in the sense of any kind of hierarchy but purely based on the fact that I think you are such a cool person and your writing is amazing and poignant and your presence in fandom makes it so much better. it's been a pleasure following you here on tumblr and just reading your tags and posts.

idk I just think you rule. that's it. thank you for hanging with us. MWAH 💛

ahhhh anon sorry for leaving this message sitting in my inbox for a couple of days but !! i have zero idea how to react to this!! you're so kind!! thank you!! please discard any and all inclinations u have that i am a cool person bc i can assure you i am NOT!!

#tumblr tag essay time? tumblr tag essay time #why can't i do this in the main body of a post u ask? pure obnoxiousness ig idk #scarier when it's not greyed out and in a little whisper innit #1) anon i love and appreciate you + your kind words so so much but i rly cannot stress enough that literally nobody here is a big deal 😭 #like i know u don't mean it in That Way but even so!!! #this is a hill i could write another 1k words about before i die on it again but i will spare u 😅 #2) ur also v v kind to say the thing abt my presence in fandom #but unfortunately i'm coming to terms with the fact that my presence in fandom is v much on the sidelines #a non-presence #i'm embracing my role as the crotchety old hag who does not attend the functions #i have a hut in the woods and u can find me there (here in tumblr tags) muttering to myself #occasionally i'll wander into the town square (ao3) and present an unnerving thing i made from mud and twigs (a fic) and then i'll fuck off #that's about all i can handle in terms of group settings i think 😅 #but the door to my hut (my DMs) is always open if u want to stop by! #3) i can't even begin to acknowledge all the nice things u said about my fics kjhsdf you are truly too generous 😭 #let me smother YOU with love!!! cmere!!! #4) this is the second nice anon message i've had in the last couple weeks which is !!!! #anon(s) i'm kissing you wherever u consent to be kissed!!! #but ofc now i'm paranoid ppl will think i'm sending these to myself skdljf #can't stress enough how open my DMs are on here/twt/discord if ever u wanna chat in a way that i don't have to post publicly to reply to 😅 #5) i'm soooo sorry about these tags #could have just said “thanks!” couldn't i #please put me right in the bin #anyway sorry again thank you again ilu very much ❤️

[akkivee]

what like, really gets me about the hitojaku consultation scene was throughout the entire conversation, they were bathed in light as they bounced info back and forth between each other

the moment tho jakurai says he’s lost his lead, the sun sets and the scene darkens because they’ve hit a dead end and are enshrouded in the dark from all these unknowns and wow i can’t believe there’s background symbolism in my rhyme anima??????

#this is vee speaking #hypanispoilers #the casual art hoe in me had a fit cause what!!!!!!!! is going on lol!!!!!!!!!!! #how was this episode that good lol????????? #bat integrated in the plot?????? good characterisation?????? visual storytelling you don’t expect from rhyme anima in general???????? #i’ve even been thinking about parallels in conjunction with bat again what is going onnnnnnn????????? #i cannot stress enough that bat’s episode has taken me tf off guard like on almost every rewatch i’m given something else to consider #what a great episode fr 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[localravenclaw]

When he makes eye-contact from across the room,

no one else mattered.

#death by sallow #mutual mass grave #i cannot stress enough how nothing else matters to me but the version of sebastian in my head like it's probably not healthy anymore but idc #you know when everything just disappears and all you see are stars and the next thing you know he's your entire universe?? #this deranged obsession i have with this character will be my downfall but god forbid i ever stop #sebastian sallow ai #ai generated #my edit

[beryldotpng]

Potentially a hot take but I really don’t like the lean towards “Batman is a split personality” thing a lot of comics do. I think it’s lame as hell as a concept. I really don’t like how in Ego Batman doesn’t kill because Bruce is holding the Batman personality back. Stupid ass idea. Batman doesn’t kill because he has morals and shit.

#batman #deranged ramblings #I cannot stress enough how much I dislike Batman Ego #I do love Darwyn Cooke’s art though that is peak #I generally don’t like the assertion that Batman is just as crazy as his villains

[librarycards]

what do you make of some autistics supporting the labels of 'severe autism' and 'profound autism'? it seems like more functioning label/support needs bullshit to me tbqh. like i truly don't understand these folks who are (maybe inadvertently) siding with autism groups and psy-professionals who are reactionary toward autistic self-advocacy.

i agree with you. the reification of functioning labels - including in their poorly-cloaked "support needs" formed - is reactionary, and as i've seen it, correlated with a disdain for self-advocacy, and bizarre support for autism parents + the medpsych apparatus as a whole. i recommend ignoring these people and getting in touch with your local autistic advocacy groups with a strong disability justice + Mad pride orientation. this kind of nonsense is just not tolerated in our communities off of the internet and certainly not in our academic, social, and/or activist communities.

#like i cannot stress enough how much better things get when you talk to actual autistic scholar-activists + join groups oriented #toward our collective liberation #the internet can be a great place to learn some things but is hopelessly myopic when it comes to the implications of disabled identity #and relationality in general #ask #anonymous

[hella1975]

idk how irl celebrities handle fame at a young age like at seventeen i had a couple hundred people regularly interacting with me and putting me on a pedestal and that almost made me crazy. i see new writers getting attention in fandom and i immediately have to put myself in front of them and start barking. get behind me girl

#I FEEL LIKE THIS SHOULD BE TALKED ABOUT MORE LMAO LIKE EVEN THOUGH IT'S A VERY SMALL AMOUNT OF ATTENTION #COMPARED TO LIKE. ACTUAL CELEBRITY #IT'S STILL INSANE LIKE FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS IVE HAD RECURRING INSTANCES OF PEOPLE BEING WEIRD #AND PUSHING BOUNDARIES AND GENERALLY FORGETTING IM AN ACTUAL REAL LIFE PERSON #AND EVEN A LOT OF THOSE WHO AREN'T - ACCIDENTALLY OR INTENTIONALLY - NEGATIVE ABOUT IT #STILL VERY CASUALLY TALK ABOUT ME LIKE IM SOME SUPERIOR FORCE #LIKE IM JUST A GUY ACTUALLY #AND EVEN THOUGH IM ONLY TWENTY I CAN HANDLE IT A LOTTTTTTT BETTER #BUT SOMEONE NEEDS TO DO A STUDY ON THIS SHIT FOR YOUNGER PEOPLE #BC AT SEVENTEEN I REALLY REALLY CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW BAD THAT SHIT WAS FOR ME LMAO #and now i just go crazy overprotective of newer/more unsure writers/artists in fandom #if ur reading this and ive done this to you then my bad <3 #like if we're in the same circle and you get a mean ask/comment/experience then it's truly a matter of time before i descend from the sky #sorry <3 it will happen again <3 #someone ive interacted with maybe one time: i got a mean ask- #me immediately seeing red: do you want me to kill them for you #nothing triggered this post btw it's just something that's on my mind a lot #i feel like a war veteran and im literally a student. ive been in the trenches besties. i have suffered more than jesus i think

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

There always seems to be one kid who just screams like a tornado siren, all day long, at any given opportunity. Like, kid, I love you, you are precious and deserve all the happiness in the world; but please for the love of god shut up. There are people trying to learn here and you’re not helping them or yourself.

#I don’t like being harsh with people in general but if one child is raising the tension in the room to a fever pitch every single day #making it incredibly hard for the kids who are trying really really hard to focus when they already have focus issues #and because I know this specific kid gets absolutely spoiled rotten at home and is allowed to do whatever they want #you know… sometimes it helps to show the kid how they sound to others by demonstrating the obnoxious nature of The Scream #because when the parents do Jack Shit about teaching their kid discipline and courtesy; you have to be a parent in their stead #But do NOT continue to scream. You are an adult with adequate emotional control. Screaming should be be done EXTREMELY sparingly #and only utilized for demonstration purposes or to stop a brawl; not for bullying or intimidation #Don’t do a JoJo Siwa and TRY to make kids cry even though you may get stressed enough that you want to escalate on purpose #Again: you are an adult with adequate emotional control; don’t escalate unless the overreaching plan is to deescalate #if eliciting a startle response will stop harmful behavior and “snap them out of it” for long enough for you to get through #or if they just need to let all their emotions out at once so they can lose enough of that high energy to think critically #then sure #but you have to guide them back down very carefully and calmly; it’s a precise science #Don’t be mean about it; be genuine in your feelings and don’t go overboard. Genuine ≠ mean unless you’re evil #Or if you don’t feel emotions very strongly (like I do) then react like a “normal” person. Lie about being angry or sad if it is appropriat #Again: Your goal should not be to get the kid to do what you want; the goal should be to get them to feel good enough #so they are ABLE to do it in the first place #And the goal should also be to show them how their actions affect others if they are not aware of it #“Teach a man to fish” and all that. Don’t always check them; get them to check themselves #If a kid hits another kid when they’re angry at something completely unrelated; then 1.) redirect destructive behavior #and 2.) walk them back over to the kid they hurt and say: #“Look at [name]; look how sad you made them. [name] didn’t do anything to you #It’s okay to be angry but we CANNOT hit people when we are angry because it hurts and makes them cry.” Works great #Always remember there is a power imbalance inherent in EVERY child-adult relationship and NEVER abuse it #And if you’re not patient or emotionally stable enough to work with or have children; then don’t. Please don’t. #Children are not cute little dolls to play dress-up with; nor are they perfect angels; nor are they your personal stress ball #Having children is NOT A GAME. They are PEOPLE who will grow to be your age one day and everything you do affects them #Sorry I’m just tired of all these parents who shove iPads in their kids faces so they don’t bother them. You’re giving them an addiction

[inkats]

i figured out why art class specifically sux

#art class is literally they found all the white ppl in the school and put them in a room together. this sucks im actually a minority. #this is the same reason art events n cons and stuff suck it feels like i shouldnt be there. this isnt for me. #i should be in calc. (<- no one thinks that i personally believe that i should be in calc. i like calc. math <33333) #anyway heres how i can go into a stem field and still find joy- #^realization that once i leave my specific local pocket everyone will be white + a cis guy. probably. well! deal w imposter syndrom 2.0 the #i cannot stress this enough my school is like ~1000 students 900 of those are punjabi/arab/indian/asian generally. #so this is a feat! isnt it! i dont know where im going w this it just feels bad. to me. guy who makes excuses about why he has no friends.