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azurescaled · 3 months

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Izumi and Courtship & Relationships

These were two separate posts that I'm smashing into one.

So, let’s talk about Izumi, and their view on relationships. I’ve kind of wanted to talk about it for a bit, but I never had the thoughts organized properly or really thought about it.

When it comes to serious relationships, they have a hard time surviving for Izumi. Not because he gets bored with them or anything, it’s because he has a hard time balancing his personal and work life. They take their work very seriously, almost to a detrimental point. They're much better about it nowadays, but they rarely get committed to people. It’s hard for them to commit because they knows their work is important because they help watch over the human realm. Commitment is also difficult for them because nine times out of ten, the people they do have romantic feelings for are usually mortal. They can handle death but, it always broke their heart a little more and more when they’d die before them.

When it comes to other supernatural beings, those relationships for them were purely sexual in nature, because thye would never admit it, but falling in love scares them. They honestly can’t answer if they'd choose love over his commitment to his work. For all intents and purposes, love would win out, but it would be something that would cause a rift between themself and a partner.

They're very much the giving type of person, and they’ll never ask much from their partner. If anything, some might say they give a little too much. That has caused issues in their relationships, because it might seem like they try to buy their love or not let themselves be taken care of. They always have to be the provider. They've gotten better about it, but it’s still something that would pop up in a relationship.

Finally, in the universes that he has fallen in love with someone, namely, the corrupted deity AU that I originally made with @carnivorarium, when he did let himself truly love someone and then lost them, he snapped completely and decided that he would kill an entire pantheon of gods in revenge. Now, that doesn’t sound too bad, but to do so, he’s literally killing himself to do so. Not to mention that in one ending of that, he would happily imprison Micah to force him into loving him. The love he once held for him, now became an obsession and he’s in denial about Micah rejecting him.

As far as platonic relationships go, I’ve detailed his most important one imo here .

Though Izumi has an almost fatherly relationship with his students, gladly answering their questions and always having his door open for them. Hell, he even makes lunch for them, and in one person’s case, namely @lunarscaled‘s OC Lyric, eventually, he’ll likely unofficially adopt them, partly because of their draconic nature and his own instincts kicking in, and hopefully because they’ll eventually come to trust him. He’s got strong fatherly instincts, and threatening his students is actually the fastest way to piss him off to the point where he says nothing and would outright smite whoever threatened them.

He considers himself an old-fashioned romantic, and the easiest way to catch his eye is to court him. He likes being wooed and treated nicely by whoever catches his eye, and offering quiet dates is what he loves. Once he’s actually with someone, he’s the type who isn’t afraid to break decorum to show affection to a partner. If the event is serious enough, he’ll maintain his composure, but if not, he’ll gladly give them kisses and hugs in front of others.

When it comes to enemies, he surprisingly remembers very few of them. That being said, if angered enough, Izumi is the type to be completely cold to someone. If angry to the point of fighting him, Izumi doesn’t banter around, and will actively focus on eliminating said enemy.

When it comes to courting Izumi, or wanting to gain his attention romantically, he much prefers people who will be themselves with him. He doesn’t expect this at the start of things, because he considers that hypocritical considering that he hides the fact that he’s not human as well as his status as a former deity. But if the relationship has any chance of even beginning to take anything beyond platonic, then be honest with him and he will in turn be honest with you. He himself is quite old fashioned and will often be the type to pay attention to what his intended partner might enjoy, especially when it comes to food and drink.

If the relationship is something serious, he’ll often go out of his way to get things he knows they’ll enjoy. Though he’s also the type to offer affection as part of showing his love for someone as well. Typically this will result in him cuddling up close to them, or giving them kisses on the cheek or hand. He actually likes it when someone presses their palm against his cheek, and if comfortable enough, even purrs when they do it. In very rare cases, and this is reserved only for romantic partners and family, but he’ll even allow them to decorate his horns.

Decorating horns is something that is considered a deeply intimate and sacred ritual, as when it comes to a dragon’s horns, they’re one of the most prized and valued items that hunters used to take. If Izumi allows you to decorate his horns, it’s akin to him saying he trusts you with his life. In fact, horn decoration used to be a marriage ritual among divine dragons, and doing so represented the deep bond between them.

Izumi’s also not afraid to use his magic to create illusions for his partner, or perform tricks for them. Honestly, he’s the type who likes to let his partner take the lead and enjoys learning what they love doing. He loves letting them into his hobbies and in turn sharing the things he enjoys with them. Expect to have a lot of nights in the kitchen learning how to cook with him though, or by a fireplace during the cold nights, curled up with a book.

He’s also the type of partner to leave romantic notes over the house every now and again, or encouraging messages. Normally he’s out of the door before his partner may be, so he’ll also make a lunch or breakfast for them and have it put away or on the table for them when they do wake up.

#old dusty tomes (headcanons & lore)

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kob131 · 1 year

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If you haven't already seen it yourself, this is what the anon who mentioned that ridiculous claim of the WF plotline 'radicalizing people ' is referring to. www(.)reddit(.)com/r/RWBY/comments/10ruu07/the_wf_plotline_and_you/

... What the hell am I looking at?

When violent protests occur in the real world, from the Stonewall Riots to full revolutions like the French Revolution, they happen because certain conditions became so unlivable that significant portions of the populace felt violence was their only recourse.

Okay. ... That doesn't mean the revolt is good, that you should be violent or even that the force behind the revolution is better. Ignoring the French Revolution which i recently talked about-

One could consider the Nazis and Hitler to be rebels of their time. They were outside the establishment and said that violence was their only option as Germany crumbled and fell. No one's gonna argue they're GOOD.

These kind of events didn’t happen because one person convinced others to commit acts of terrorism, so to villainize the WF because of the actions of one person is a bit silly.

No but one person tends to convince others to be violent, again with the Nazis and Hitler.

Not to mention that the WF in the show is villainized for their acts of terror and aid in MASS GENOCIDE.

Many people seem to have determined that the WF plot line is about people using civil rights movements for their own ends, but the socioeconomic conditions that lead to these revolutions are such that the actions of one person are irrelevant.

Then why do we place so much blame on Hitler then? Seriously, is the history of the Nazis just gonna counter every single point you make?

Furthermore, focusing on the character of the people taking part in riots and protests with the goal of discrediting their movements while ignoring the reason they're rioting is a common tactic in right-wing media. Ever since Black Lives Matter became an organization Fox News has been constantly reporting on it, but whenever they do the goal is to discredit it by focusing on some of their alleged wrongdoings with very little time spent on the cases of police brutality that made the group necessary.

"Hey, don't pay attention to how these people do nothing but make the situation worse and act like violent animals. No, focus on how they are victims!"

And yet again- Adolf Hitler was abused by his father, lost a sibling in his youth, was indoctrinated into anti-semetism from his time in art school and was a war veteran who watched his country fall apart in no small part due to the victors destroying their economy.

Again- doesn't excuse HIS actions, why would it excuse the WF's?

Which brings me to the core of my concern: I fear that in trying to believe that the writing of the WF plotline is sound a lot of people are gonna find themselves going done an alt-right pipeline. It starts off as people believing CRWBY has a point about the WF, then they seek out similar content about the wrongdoings of civil rights groups, that content then links to homophobic, transphobic content that might seem harmful enough then Bam! Radicalized! I know it seems a bit unlikely and I am simplifying it but not only does radicalization happen to the unsuspecting RT has already gotten the fandom to financially support a company known for almost every type of bigotry there is, so how unlikely is it really?

The fact that I have been preaching this for roughly six years and I'm barely considered right wing by today's society...when I'm a self professed centrist?

My point is when consuming content that tackles real world subjects like racism it's important to question it and not let a singular devotion to making your favorite show look better than it is cloud your judgement and slowly radicalize you. This may seem unimportant within the grand scheme of RWBY because the WF plotline ended in V6 but if the series is going to end with V9 humanity united then that would only occur because of the de-radicalization of the WF, which is it's own can of worms.

I came to my conclusion by observing history, seeing how violence was villainized in the past, compared it to my own states of intense anger and how disgusted with myself I felt about my violent thoughts. RWBY has nothing to do with this.

You just want the show to validate your bloodlust.

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kyrodo · 2 months

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I do wish I had been there more for Red while he was in mourning. Cause I do realize how tough things were for him. I experienced it at face value but very little of his time being depressed did I spend supporting him. I was too busy with my blooming romance to really be there for him. And I do feel bad about that. This morning especially while I was dreaming about super sad music with an organ or something playing with four descending notes, the fourth note played twice with a rest before looping. And it was slow and very sad sounding. You can visualize light brown film grain fish eye effect from it. And I think what I saw was a bunch of make -up, most likely my mom's, that I could freely experiment with all of a sudden. And that thought is eerie and troubling. Cause I realize in the past year I've been closer to a family death than I've ever been in my life. My dad having a stroke, Red losing his, and consoling Choskey. And only now do I fully appreciate how deeply saddening the entire ordeal can be. What it means to truly grieve a loss of a relative friend or loved one. Why life insurance is so important to people, though grim.

And I know how my luck is like. It is pretty extreme. When life events move in a direction it always feels like it's leading somewhere. Ideally with More than adequate time to prepare if I truly guage what it tells me. I know how much of it is just overanalyzing. But given my history, it has never not led somewhere. It has never failed to go wherever it will go. Ult's loss for example, without that experience I probably would never have tried to squeeze Choskey into my relationship. Simply because it didn't work out back then and I never tried.

And I remember how self conscious I became when I publicized these types of superstitions I have regarding my luck. Like how whenever I learn a new word, I suddenly hear it mentioned everywhere. It could simply be that I wasn't looking out for it, but a part of me believes it was genuinely never mentioned around me until then.

So peer pressure aside I still take those kinds of clustered events seriously. Perhaps not as seriously as I used to but I can't avoid thinking about it. They always lead somewhere and the ending isn't always a happy one. Luckily aside from the stroke things have been relatively okay back home. I hope that it stays that way at least for a good while yet.

And I think back to my health. The sleep issues. How ineffective the current treatment is with the lack of pressure. And I do hope at some point my dr starts taking my health a bit more seriously, cause I am seriously considering switching doctors at this point. Which honestly I should just do.

But yeah. Especially after hearing that sad song loop over and over for who knows how many hours, I am sad I wasn't there for Red more when things got tough for him. I do care about him deeply. But my actions rarely show it sometimes. I remember how tightly Red held me after we confessed, how strongly he loved me, and Choskey is experiencing something similar, but I don't want to lose Red in the process. I want to make this work out for both of them.

Thinking back further to Rot again. I was extremely immature about how I handled my feelings when things were clearly not going to work out. And now I feel the opposite. I feel like I'm too mature for my own good sometimes. There are definitely times I just want to react to things at face value because of Choskey gaming banter but I know better. If I didn't know better though I know things might change a bit faster. But I'm not the type to freely explode anymore. I'm not the type to go on poetic rants bleeding away at someone's self esteem as much as I perceptively can. My trauma corrected me extremely hard. It was painful. And no matter how happy I am now with Choskey's heart wrapped tightly around my finger, it is still painful. It is still jarring the extent of hostile actions against me because I chose to give into my feelings while I was already at a low point for other reasons. It is eye opening how hostile people can be towards me that I would normally never have experienced in my lifetime. How hard people can troll with memes and how disgusting it looks when they do. Unwittingly validating someone's horror kink while they continue to compromise our security for their own peace of mind while treating mine like absolute dog shit. I expect it is a one time experience for them as well. Despite taking the brunt of things, I realize my life isn't the only one that changed. At least that's the hope. I made a very big deal out of rectifying whatever perceived evil I was for their benefit whenever I had trouble justifying my own adultery venture. And I know it's not the kind of thing most people expect from an enemy. And that is part of the reason I kept at it so hard. My enemy being someone who likes to "share" and not always in an unsensationalized way, I kinda had to. I had to be the hero as much as I possibly could have and getting to know me much more closely it isn't far from the real me. I'm up stand in the sense that I am harmless. I find ways to piss away time and when I don't I'm working or staring at the ceiling thinking or tweeting. And besides having Red, that is in essence my entire existence. I rarely interfere with other people, I normally keep to myself aside from that one event where it very much was no longer the case and I was struggling to make things easier for my heart to process. And had we not gone to utah in the first place that is ideally how it would have stayed.

I am a kind soul. Overly sensitive, clearly able to make myself seem bigger than I actually am when I need to. And without Red and my sister I was a complete loner. And I was sick of that always being the case. I wanted something where if things went online our friendship would still be intact.

You meet all these furries and have this one group you used to hang out regularly with and they don't even bat an eye when you move away. And I couldn't accept that. But my friendship with them wasn't direct enough, wasn't personal enough with Red always being the point of contact, and that is why I wanted so badly for someone where that wasn't the case. Ult was going to be my answer.

But that role was by all accounts passed to Choskey instead. And I am much more ready for it this time. And my interest is much more viable in every possible way I can think of. Ideally it wouldn't always be a love interest to fix my issue, but that's where I'm strongest socially. Me and Red can interact in so many ways other people can't, and that's exactly the type of connections I need with someone to be able to hold onto them more permanently. To be "gay" with someone in significant excess. Choskey embodies a different set of interactions but we have more than enough to promise that. When I am not limited by how much affection I can reasonably show someone that is where I shine the most. And the only place I can do that is with a lover. And I am ready to accept that. Red is ready to accept that, and it's working. It's working better than I could have possibly imagined.

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human-person234 · 3 years

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UPDATE UPDATE UP DATE U P D A A A T E

I'm sobbing with relief, you guys. I've been so stuck on this. I can't believe it took me two months to update. Things were getting better, over the last week or so I managed to write a few sentences here and there, but today it just clicked and I banged out the whole chapter like nobody's business. It feels so good. I don't have the next one written, but I have it outlined, and I have a tentative outline for the rest of the fic--not that we're too near the end, yet. It's just a good sign.

I have some thoughts about the chapter, the fic, and its effect on my mental health, but I have a feeling this will get long so I'm going to put a break. Click if you want to read my rambling about all that, I guess.

Writing this fic ended up being a bigger part of my personal mental health journey than I anticipated, so it's natural that they'd be intertwined. I only wrote it because I was so obsessed with the Suicidal Midoriya Izuku tag I ran out of fics to read and had to make my own. Not exactly "mentally stable" behavior.

If you read Wish I Hadn't Got So Much Better, esp my notes and comments, you know that suicidal ideation is a very real issue for me, both in my past and (surprisingly, like for the Izuku of that story) my present.

I'm not opposed to talking about it, so if anyone wants to chat about that kind of stuff, my DMs and asks are open, seriously, I love talking about mental health and any excuse to talk about myself is welcome. But I won't get into it too much here.

Basically, I was depressed, and dealing with some other physical health issues (TURNS OUT I'VE BEEN BREATHING MOLD FOR MONTHS NO WONDER I'M EXTRA LETHARGIC), and when I started to fall behind on updates, that only exacerbated my anxiety and guilt and, thus, depression.

Something else that came up for me was that I don't totally feel qualified to write about suicide recovery, because I never experienced it in the way I'm writing it.

I basically dumped this on Izuku in Wish I Hadn't Got So Much Better, but essentially, I do have experience with being suicidal, just not the "getting help" part. I do see a psychiatrist for my disorders, but no one ever found out about the suicidal part.

So, like Hizashi and Shouta say in Chapter 13, "Who do I think I am? Why do I think I could take care of a child?" I have no idea what guided recovery looks like, because I did it alone. I kept thinking, what if I'm doing it wrong, what if I'm missing something important, what if people who really had these experiences think I'm taking it lightly?

So that's part of the source for my end note for this chapter--I realized that as long as I'm doing my due diligence, I don't have to feel guilty about getting it wrong, because real people get it wrong too. Also, it's fanfiction, I'm allowed some wiggle room. I've read and loved and recommended fics with far looser basis in reality, and never considered complaining. I'm just a harsher critic of myself than I am of others, as are most people.

On a more technical note, I also struggled with pacing the story. I kept feeling like I was stuck in a real-time pace, and I couldn't figure out how to stop describing literally every action my characters took. How hard is it to zoom out and do a fucking timeskip, for goodness' sake?

For me--very hard, it turns out.

So I kind of gave up, gave myself permission to stop trying. I even stopped reading MHA fics for a little while (no way I could stop reading fics, though). I went back to one of my all-time fave fics, from what might be my favorite anime--Run With the Wind. The fic is Beyond the Wind by kstar2091.

Honestly, I thought my first fic would be in this fandom. I figured it would be a poor homage to this fic, a continuation of canon events finally giving us the romance that had been simmering all 23 episodes. My pfp is best boy Kiyose Haiji for a reason.

Uh oh, that was a bit of a tangent.

My point is, re-reading my fave fic (with delicious new chapters) inspired me, bc kstar is legit VERY GOOD at exactly what I was struggling with--passing a lot of in-story time without sacrificing content or intensity.

So, the little interlude in Izu's POV covering a week or so in the chapter I just posted--that's thanks to kstar2091, Beyond the Wind, and ofc my best boy Haiji. Once I got through that bit, it all started flowing like chocolate sauce at a Golden Corral.

There's a lot of juicy bits upcoming, some of which people have been eagerly awaiting. One of them is obvious. Others, you might hate me for?? But also I hope you'll love them, because you're all screwed up like me.

So yeah, I'm not promising weekly updates anymore, but the juices are flowing, the sun is shining, the mold is blooming in my bedroom, and I'm slowly getting back on my mood stabilizers.

If anyone wants to talk about mental health, or ask me anything personal, feel free, you won't offend or upset me. Or, don't say anything, and just keep reading! Or stop reading, idk, it's your life.

#ao3 #bnha fanfiction #suicidal izuku #tw suidice #author's note

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sweetlittlemessenger · 4 years

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So I made a story based on MBTI's INFP cognitive functions.

---

This story takes place in a girl's human mind, which is more known in this universe as the Psyche Realm. It tells about the Infsman(inferior function), Terratora of the INFP Squad and her encounter of the four additional CFs who mysteriously appeared in their Realm.

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♡ Sirene's POV

◇ Terratora's POV

The legends displayed above will tell you who's currently telling the story. If a "♡" is displayed, the story is told in Sirene's perspective and if it's a "◇", then it's in Terratora's perspective

Now with that said let's get on with the story!

♡♡♡

Ever since I saw that door I've been wondering what lies behind it, what shadows hide inside...

I was just doing my daily rounds in the Archives of Snow, finishing overviews of my Host's past memories that I hope she would find relief in. I was carrying a stack load of them when my foot bumped into something that would seem to have felt to be some kind of glass object. I looked down to confirm that it was indeed glass, a glass bottle; full of stars.

"Uuuuuugh, Netaaa!!" I groaned in frustration, I swear our Auxman has no sense of organizing whatsoever, not to mention scatter-brained. She has a habit of taking her so-called projects with her while she works and leaves them behind almost everywhere. I attempted to pick it up when I forgot that I was carrying a stack of memories, making me lost my balance and the pages and books of memories flew and scattered everywhere. One of the memory books glided towards the bottle, making it roll away.

"Hey, come back!" I shouted, not bothering to clean up the scattered memories and proceeded to chase the runaway joke-of-a-craft down the long ass aisle. The bottle's straight-line escape came to a close when it reached the very back of the entire Archives. Finally, I picked up the bottle and looked up. After a quick observation I realized that I have found a door. It was a purplish black color with jet black elegant iron frames. Strange... I have walked the Archives' floors several times and never have I seen a door like this. Filled with curiosity, my hand reached for the door's handle only to be halted by a shout.

"My Tertsman!" a voice called, I turned around to see my Infsman, Terratora running towards me.

"Terra?" I asked, "what are you doing here?"

"I was suppose to inform you about the recently finished tasks, but it seems you have found... their door. You musn't go in there my Tertsman. "

Terratora caught my attention on her emphasis on the word 'their'

"What do you mean 'their?'" I asked

"Behind this door..." she paused for a long second, as if she hesitated to answer, "lies four unannounced Neuronites, if they are even considered one"

This left me pondering and confused, "Four more Neuronites... how? There are already four members in our squad, how could there be four more?"

Terratora didn't answer, but rather, she looked down stayed silent

I continued to ask here more questions "And more importantly, when and how was there a door here?"

She sighed, "I think it's time... that I told to you about the Shadow Squad."

◇◇◇

It was just like any other day. The Domsman guiding the host, the Auxman constantly inventing new inventions (honestly at this point I wonder if her brain ever goes empty), my Tertsman collecting memories, and me, the Infsman, organizing, checking and crossing out finished tasks, that is...if there were. I was currently in the Mental Notes section of the Archives of Snow, doing my daily task when I heard something, or rather... someone.

"Um, excuse me miss." it called, the voice awfully sounding just like the Domsman

'Lady Fi?' I thought, turning around to see if my assumption was correct, it was not. Instead of the pink brown-haired lady in a golden crown-like headband standing before me, was a strawberry blonde woman with bright green eyes wearing a sleeveless dark magenta top with a grecian neckline, dark forest green capri pants embroidered with a pink roses design towards the pant's cuffs, dark purple ankle strap pumps and a translucent pink blazer. What caught my attention were her bright purple Neuro Transmitters.

"Hello there," she waved, " I couldn't help but notice that you're in a little pickle right there, do you need any help?" she said with a smile, though it didn't seem to meet her eyes.

I decided to play along

"Oh, uh... thank you." I answered

The lady then went beside me and spread her arms out, to which I responded by giving her some of the papers I was currently carrying. "Oh how rude of me, I forgot to introduce myself!" she said, "I'm Fenessa, and you are?"

"Terratora." I responded, but didn't bother to make eye contact and continued with my current work, "Infsman of the INFP Squad, I am responsible for organizing the Host's concepts and tasks and as well as checking and marking tasks that are finished."

"Wow, sounds like a tough job!" Fenessa said in amazement, "and you're doing this all by yourself? Where are your other members of your squad, surely there's like a lot you."

"They're..." I hesitated to give her an answer,"in their respective places, doing their respective jobs. There are only four of us, myself included, most of the time we are too preoccupied with our current tasks to help another member."

Why did I hesitate?

"Seriously? Wow that sucks." she commented.

A long moment of silence passed as the two of us continued organizing. I began to ponder on what just happened...

Firryn said that the squad was already at a maximum capacity of four members, and therefore no additional Neuronite was expected to appear.

But why was there another Neuronite?

Where did Fenessa come from?

And why are her Neuro Transmitters purple?

"Soooooo..." Fenessa spoke up, breaking my train of thought, "mind telling me about your Squad, you know, the members, what they do here, what they're like?"

"The squad?" I looked at her for a second then back to the shelves, "Well, there's Firryn the Domsman, she is the leader of the squad and guides our Host in judgement and decision making based on their inner values. Then there's the Auxman, Netalia, she assists the Domsman in her job by helping her stay open minded on certain view points when making judgement. Third is my Tertsman, Sirene, she is in charge of the memory department, mainly to provide relief to the Host, using the memories that the Host hold dear, and lastly is me, the Infsman."

"I see," Fenessa said, as she placed one of the papers to their respective shelves "Judging by how she lets you work all alone here, does she ever acknowledges the efforts you've put into organizing all of these tasks?"

I looked down and thought deeply on what Fenessa said. Lady Fi actually never did once give a glance on how I managed the tasks I was asked to organize.

"No?" Fenessa questioned, "Well that's a shame...Hey! How about I help you by joining your squad?"

My head perked up from the offer, "What?"

"Think of it, us working together in organizing these tasks. It will double the work speed and cut down half the time, oh, and I can also help in contributing on how you guys as a team can work more efficiently and in harmony. So, whaddaya say?" Fenessa reached out her hand with a smile, waiting for me to accept her deal.

The way she looked at me... the way she smiled sent a chill down my axon. Something didn't felt right, it was as if she was trying to manipulate me.

"Thank you, but I have to decline. You see, the squad only allows four members and we have already reached the maximum capacity." I said with a firm tone.

"Aww that's too bad," She said sadly, still smiling

it looked forced

"Oh well, I' ll still be here whenever you need me," she said, putting the last stack of papers on to the shelves, "it was nice meeting you, Terratora. See you around!" she waved and turned around, walking away.

See you around? Wait... is she implying on staying here in the Archives?!

"Wait, you can't just--" and before I knew it, she was out of sight. This was bad, a new Neuronite appeared and was now roaming inside the Archives. It was at that moment, I knew had to report of this event.

The following day, I planned to report this to Sirene, but she was currently preoccupied in digging up "lost" memories that was was found deep in the Archives, so I had no choice but to report to the Auxman. I approached the door of the Auxman's room and knocked a few times.

"Who is it?" a tired voice called from inside the room.

"Terratora, ma'am" I answered.

The door opened to reveal a tired-looking Netalia, and sweet saya she looked like shit, her hair was a mess and she had bags under her eyes. "Ey, Terra! What can I do for you?" she asked

Looking at her current state I asked her with concern "Ma'am, if i may ask, how long have you been wake?"

"Uuuuuuuuh..." the Auxman scratched her head, "36 hours?"

...what do the humans call this significant short period of event again? Ah yes, a "bruh moment." This was definitely a "bruh moment."

"Uh I see..." I muttered as I fixed my posture and went back to the matter at hand, "Well I have something that I must report to you, privately." I firmly informed.

"Oh, sure come in." Netalia said, stepping aside and letting me in her room. Her room was steam-punk themed, giving off a nice afterthought of the 1800's European Industrial Revolution. The walls had real functioning turning copper and gold gears and for the floor was a glossy gold iron-parquet flooring, but there was just one problem. Like her messy appearance, Netalia's room was an absolute mess. Different inventions and papers stacked carelessly in every corner, some papers were scattered across the floor, crumpled. Her work desk was no different. "So," Netalia said, yawning as she sat on her wooden antique chair, leaning forward "what did you want to talk about?"

"There is a new Neuronite that is roaming around the Archives of Snow."

Netalia's expression turned serious, "What?" she asked, her eyes widened a little.

I explained to her of my encounter with Fenessa, explained her appearance and behavior. Netalia began to be in deep thought, trying to process the information she had received. That's when I heard her mutter, "I can't be... Shadow Functions...here?"

"Shadow Functions?" I asked

"Nah, I'm sure you just saw it through a memory book" she said waving her hand, denying my claim of seeing a new Neuronite.

"Ma'am, you are aware of what the Shadow Functions are, right?"

"Yeah, the rumored Neuronites who linger inside a host's pysche realm and cause chaos, but you don't have to worry, it's just a rumor."

"Ma'am, I saw that Neuronite yesterday and interacted with me. If what I saw yesterday was a Shadow Function, there is no doubt that there could be other Shadow Functions roaming around the Psyche Realm as well--"

"First of all, you don't know that," Netalia interrupted, "second, there is no evidence to confirm the existance of the Shadow Functions."

"Ma'am, does my eyewitness testimony not count as an evidence?"

The Auxman thought hard for a moment, "Hm, good point, it does have some credibility, however, because you were the only witness, it does not have enough reliability."

"But ma'am--"

"That's enough Terra," Netalia said in a serious and authoritative voice and stood up from her chair, "this conversation is over."

"Netalia--"

"Terratora, I am warning you--"

"Could you, for once, please listen--"

"ENOUGH WITH THE BULLSHIT TERRA, SHADOW FUNCTIONS DON'T. FUCKING. EXIST!"

I stepped back, staying silent. Netalia gasped, realizing what she had done, she rubbed her temples with her fingers and let out a heavy, tired sigh "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have lashed out on you like that."

"It's ok...I understand" I truly did, Netalia was sleep deprived so it wasn't a surprise she would snap

"Just...don't bring up that topic again ok?"

"Yes ma'am..."

"Good, now if you have nothing else to report, you are dismissed." Netalia said as I walked out of the room.

Great, looks like I'll have to take care of this roaming Neuronite myself.

Not long after that incident, a new Neuronite appeared while I was in the Archives. A redheaded lady with bright green eyes wearing a sun hat, dark bluegreen off shoulder dress decorated with glitter at the hem, and some sandals. She called herself Niema, her choice of words are beyond my understanding, not to mention her unsettling insights of the future. What was most disturbing was how her presence is still felt in Archives from time to time despite not being present in sight.

Fast forward to several days later and another Neuronite appeared. this time by the same of Selly, and just like Niema, she was a redhead with bright green eyes. Her hair was styled into a ponytail, she wore a hazel wood yellow shirt that was tied into a knot, a black wristband on her right wrist, dark mute teal ripped denim shorts, and maroon high-top sneakers with bluish white accents. My encounter with this Neuronite can be summarized into one word: Impulsive. Chasing her across the entire archives, Selly was so fast and hyper that could barely keep up with her. Her curiosity in trying to open certain books of memories without permission gave me a headache.

...

Nothing could have prepared me for the fourth Neuronite. Unlike the previous three, she did nothing but stare at the distance, she was a strawberry blonde with green eyes like Fenessa. Her hair styled into a braid resting on her left shoulder, she wore round glasses with upper half rims framed with icy blue frames, a dark purple hooded shawl with a navy blue short-sleeve sweater underneath, mute blue ripped jeans and maroon sneakers. I did not see her make any movement other than her adjusting her glasses every once in a while. I could sense strong negative energy radiating off of her, the essence very similar to Ti essence.

I had to find out their place of origin, there was no way they just appeared out of thin air. I decided to start with the Archives of Snow, since that's where I found the first Neuronite. I searched every section and corner and found nothing, until I went to the very back of the entire archives. There I saw a door of purplish black color with jet black elegant iron frames. I didn't hesitate to think twice that this was the door they came from, I know this because me and Sirene frequently come to the Archives and never was there a door here.

Following day I requested Netalia to make me a lock. I had to lie to her saying Sirene requested me to get a lock from her, to which Netalia shrugged and gave me the item with two set of keys to go along with it. I rushed back to the Archives to install the lock, but when it came in contact with the handle, it disintegrated...

♡♡♡

"And ever since that day, I've been guarding this door in secret." Terra concluded

"Shadow Functions..." I said shivering at the thought, "I never I'd see the day these Neuronites merging into our Host's Psyche Realm." I looked up at the door and back to Terra, "do you know what lies behind this door?"

Terra shook her head "No, my Tertsman, I have not set foot in whatever is behind the door, not even once."

"I see...why didn't you tell me about this?" I asked her

"I feared that you would give me the same conclusion, since the existance of Shadow Functions is just a rumor." Terra explained, making me remember that Neta snapped at her.

"Terra," I looked at her in the eye, "you know very well that I would never raise my voice at you, so don't ever hesitate to come to me if something is not right, clear?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good." I nodded

"My Tertsman, if I may ask," Terra spoke up

"Yes?" I replied, giving her permission to speak

"Will you promise me to keep this door a secret?"

This put me in my train of thought, should I really keep this a secret? Not sharing this information with the Domsman or Auxman could get me in trouble, but then again, Firryn is too closeminded to confirm this info and Neta is too preoccupied already with her millions of garbage ideas and concepts, and with that, I nodded my head, "You have my word."

"Thank you," Terra said, relieved "Now, I saw several memories scattered across the floor of aisle 8-20."

"Oh, that. I was carrying a stack of memories, when I ran into this thing." I said showing her the bottle of stars.

"Ah" was all she had to say, understanding what happened while showing a hint of annoyance on her face.

"Since you're here now, mind helping clean up?" I asked

"Of course." Terra complied as we both turned around to walk to the messy aisle

As we walked I turned my head around to look at the door one last time, the door's mysterious appearance led me to so many questions yet to be answered.

Ever since I saw that door I've been wondering what lies behind it, what shadows hide inside...

#mbti #mbti infp #infp mbti #infp #cognitive functions #myers briggs #shadow functions

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kenobios · 6 years

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i'm really intrigued by the fact that you chose kylo as an infp. i'm interested in learning more about unhealthy xnfp types because that's my own type and i have been typed as unhealthy as well. Do you know where I can learn more about unhealthy xnfp types? Or possibly other unhealthy types as well?

I’ll try to explain why I picked Kylo Ren as an INFP as best I can to give you some insight into why exactly made that decision, then I’ll discuss an unhealthy INFP afterwards, and link you to some sources of information on unhealthy types. I know you haven’t directly asked my why I chose Kylo Ren as an INFP, but I feel the need to explain myself since I’ve already witnessed people questioning my decision, so I may as well get it out of the way. Hopefully you don’t mind my word vomit.

To understand unhealthy MBTI you have to understand what makes any given type ‘unhealthy’. What that is, exactly, is when your four cognitive functions aren’t balanced. So in terms of an INFP’s prominent functions, we’re looking at (Fi-Ne) -Si-Te. Si and Te are Tertiary and Inferior functions, which means that most of the time they’re not exactly at the forefront of an INFP’s thinking process, usually they are last priority or merely affect the dominant and auxiliary functions in some way. It can be considered unhealthy if one of these functions begins to take priority over the dominant and auxiliary functions. An easy way to conceptualize this is to imagine a car with four people. You have the driver (dominant function) and the co-pilot (auxiliary function) at the front, kind of helping each other out but the driver still does most of the work. Then in the backseat you have the guy who engages in discussion with the two up the front sometimes but he’s still in the backseat (tertiary function) and that guy who keeps mostly to himself and only says something when he suddenly wants to be a backseat driver or the actual driver specifically asks for his help (inferior function). You have to have these four people in the car at all times to make sure the trip goes smoothly, but the moment you start moving those people around, giving people roles they shouldn’t be in, is when you start making it a dangerous journey for all involved = unhealthy MBTI. I’ll talk about that later, first:

WHY I THINK KYLO REN IS AN INFP

DOMINANT-AUXILIARY FUNCTIONS

Fi - introverted Feeling

Fi dominance makes INFPs highly in-tune with the subjective aspects of reality (personal values, emotions, ethics, the human psyche) which makes them somewhat disinterested in pure objectivity. This means that INFPs have trouble looking at situations objectively/in a manner that removes all emotion, values, and nuance from the decision-making process. (x)

Now what does this have to do with Kylo Ren? Well, first to point out why he is a Fi-dom - Kylo Ren has his own set of values, and doesn’t seem to care about other people’s values if they don’t agree with his own. He doesn’t let them affect his decision-making. Fi-doms often believe their values are inherently right, and a lot of their decision-making stems from exactly that, rather than what someone else has told them what is right/what they should do. This could be confused in Kylo Ren’s case with people thinking he is doing what Snoke tells him to do, but he is only doing those things BECAUSE he personally believes in them. He has been conditioned to change his values to align with Snoke’s, therefore he sees no problem in doing whatever Snoke tells him to do - and why doing things against that belief system (darkness > light) is so hard for him to grasp - because you can tell (along with being told by Adam Driver) that he intrinsically believes he is right.

There would have to be some significant event that shakes Kylo Ren’s inner beliefs (such as perhaps realizing what he had been conditioned to believe about killing his father as the ‘right thing’ to do, suddenly becoming the ‘wrong thing’ as he canonically falls to his knees in regret) to cause him to start a misalignment between them and Snoke’s and to begin the questioning, doubting, self-reflecting process that had otherwise been a 100% commitment from a Fi-dom’s point of view. If this occurs, an INFP will take it very seriously and it will be hard to process, as to them it can feel like figuratively speaking, their whole world (belief system) has been ripped out from under them. As an unhealthy INFP, this “I’m doing it because it’s the right thing to do (according to my own beliefs, not your wrong ones)” way of thinking can make them seem obnoxiously self-righteous. But more on that later.

Ne - extroverted iNtuition

Ne users are naturally attuned to concepts and possibilities as their main way of taking in information; they’re not interested in knowing the facts and instead prefer to look at how they are connected, what their underlying principles and ideas are. They themselves are “great at generating ideas, but not so much at following through on their execution.” (x)

This usually leads to Ne users being less inclined to plan things - or if they do plan something, they’re more inclined to ditch it later on or get distracted. They’re interested in the ‘bigger picture’ or the ‘end goal’ not the minute details or the routine steps it takes to get there. This basically means they like to improvise - but this can also lead to confusion or being distracted. Isabel and Peter Briggs Myers describes this as Ne users being “wholly directed upon objects, searching for emerging possibilities” and that they will “sacrifice all else for such possibilities when found” (Gifts Differing Understanding Personality Type, 88). This can be seen when Kylo Ren gets distracted from the plan to capture the droid, changing the plan to instead merely capture Rey or when he offers to teach Rey despite it going against Snoke’s plans; both times Kylo Ren was distracted by the new possibilties that Rey offered, despite going against the given plan. He also struggles to stay on course in terms of what he needs to do and his belief that he needs to quench his light side. Overall, his short-sightedness (I don’t mean that negatively, but more in a sense of being preoccupied with the HERE AND NOW rather than the LATER), abundance of confusion and inability to stick to a predetermined course is a telling sign of an xNP. Ni-dom’s, on the other hand, are incredibly future-sighted and always think of the consequences and possibilities in future while simultaneously finding it important and necessary to formulate a plan and stick to it (Obi-Wan is a classic example of a Ni-dom in Star Wars, as is Palpatine).

TERTIARY-INFERIOR FUNCTIONS

(Keep in mind that these functions are not meant to be at the forefront of an INFPs processes and usually are used in last-moment measures or merely just affect or amplify a dominant function, so not all INFPs may display or develop these on the same level)

Si - introverted Sensing

Si is the FiNe’s third function, and it gives a sense of solidity to their Fi beliefs. Si also makes the Fi-led internal world structured and detailed. When it comes to values that they have had adequate time to develop, they tend to have a solid sense of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. A lot of their perception in these cases is based on their personal experiences. This is because Si places a high value on real world experiences and its impressions of them. FiNe’s store all the interesting experiences and information they gather in their mind in an organized way for future reference. (x)

So this basically just solidifies Kylo Ren’s beliefs about him being ‘right’ and makes it that much harder for him to consider anyone else’s point of view against his own. In an INFP’s perspective, their beliefs are constructed on past experiences, so if someone comes along and tries to tell them they’re wrong, they’ll think, “well, that’s not how it happened before” or “not according to my past experience”. Their past experience will usually take precedence as ‘evidence’ over anything anyone else tells them. The Si element in an INFP can lead to them holding intense grudges, clinging to these ‘past experiences’ too closely in order to judge the world around them, even if they don’t realize it. If someone hurts them or breaks their trust, an INFP might try to forgive them, but they will never forget what they experienced before, and will more than likely fear it will happen again. All of this comes in to play during the scene between Han Solo and Kylo Ren on the bridge, and could explain why Han Solo was unable to persuade Kylo Ren, merely on the basis of “we do miss you” or the idea that things might be different, because, in Kylo Ren’s experience, it doesn’t add up. What he experienced in the past takes too much precedence over anything Han Solo is saying. He might consider what his father is saying, reflect on it in his head, and realize that he would prefer to trust the reality of whatever Snoke has told him over the things his father is saying, that, in his mind, don’t align with what he previously experienced. Of course, that is just my personal interpretation of the scene anyway.

Equally, as Si might cause an INFP to hold a grudge, it can also, in the same line of thinking, make them incredibly sentimental about things or objects that have played a part in their past. This can be seen when Kylo Ren speaks to Vader’s mask, his reaction to Anakin’s lightsaber, or the deleted scene of him on the Millennium Falcon. Another interesting effect Si tends to have in an INFP is that it can lead to INFPs having values and beliefs that aren’t considered “traditional” by most people. This is again, because their beliefs are based on subjective matter and experience, not the objective, collective belief of what may be ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Kylo Ren’s deep-set belief in the dark side is by no means “traditional” thinking, because he doesn’t care about the collective opinion or thought, but about what he personally has gone through or is going through.

Te - extroverted Thinking

Te is a process that allows FiNe’s to take in information from the real world, make quick decisions on what the most effective solution is, and put that solution into play right away. This is the weakest, achilles’ heel part of the FiNe. Although it would be exhausting and unhealthy for them to rely on this aspect of themselves all the time, they can pull out their troubleshooting skills when necessary to get a job done effectively.(x)

Te is usually described as making quick and efficient decisions based on objective fact. In a Fi-dom, this ‘objective fact’ becomes a ‘gut feeling’ from which they base their quick decisions from. However, they’ll only do this if they are forced to, as a last measure, since Fi-doms would much prefer to be able to take their time before making a decision, and being consistently forced to make quick decisions with no time allowed for thinking can result in unhealthy behaviour. Te in a Fi-dom can also be what they resort to when they are suffering an intense struggle about a decision, in the end just saying “fuck it” and going with their gut instinct, even if they can’t articulate a solid reason for making that decision at the time. The most common and comfortable use of Te in a Fi-dom, however, is to critique and offer improvements to existing systems, structures or plans based on what they believe to be more effective. In terms of Kylo Ren, I believe we’ve seen him making this ‘gut instinct’ decision whenever he is forced to make a decision regarding Rey without being given the time he needs to figure out what he should be doing (according to his belief system), explaining all these weird decisions he seems to make in regards to what the most effective way of dealing with an enemy would be versus what he feels like doing at that moment in time for which he can’t really offer a good explanation. I suppose you could also see this function when he criticizes Hux’s indoctrination methods and offers what he sees as the more effective option: clones.

AN UNHEALTHY INFP

Being unhealthy in MBTI means that you use your functions in a way that’s detrimental to yourself or others.They could be in a loop (reliance on their dominant or tertiary functions and ignoring their auxiliary), a grip (reliance on their inferior function), or just generally using their functions in unhealthy ways. (x)

Now, I’m going to admit I haven’t done a lot of reading on unhealthy MBTI yet, so I’m going to derive a lot of information from this post by highonmbti for now, and only the manifestations that I see in Kylo Ren. I definitely suggest checking out the post and highonmbti in general if you’re interested in reading more about unhealthy MBTI.

Unhealthy use of Fi

The unhealthy use of Fi means they’ve reached some extreme point of the function over all their other functions, resulting in unbalanced behaviour.

One of these behaviours can be seen as excessive stubbornness and self-righteousness towards their own sense of right and wrong, making it very hard for them to consider how their actions might affect others, or acknowledge other people’s values and perspectives. They may also treat those who don’t align with their belief system in a condescending manner, as though they are blind to the real ‘truth’ that is the belief system that the INFP has constructed. This, of course, is self-explanatory when it comes to Kylo Ren. He clearly has no sense of how his actions might affect anyone but himself, nor does he seem to care about any moral code that doesn’t align with his own.

An unhealthy dominance of Fi can also manifest in INFPs being obsessed with seeming ‘different’ or ‘misunderstood’ as they become hyper aware of the difference in their personal values and perspectives versus the rest of the world. Unhealthy INFPs might also take their preference for subjective, values based decision-making to the extreme, refusing to rationalize or explain their decisions at all, and as highonmbti puts it, defaulting to “it’s just what I believe ok?!” without presenting any evidence. I don’t believe there’s any definitive evidence of either of these for Kylo Ren, but one could infer either of these possibilities.

Unhealthy use of Ne

Healthy aux Ne is what allows INFPs to think outside the box, consider the “what ifs” of things - but an extreme over dominance of Ne can instead result in too much ‘thinking outside the box’ or a detachment from practical reality. This is where the stereotypical ‘dreamer’ INFP comes in, but in an unhealthy INFP this can result in too much dreaming to the point where they get lost in it and lose their grip on reality. This could very much relate to Kylo Ren’s delusional outlook and the fact he is so caught up in trying to act out this fantasy of being Darth Vader.

Fi-Si loop

A Fi-Si loop occurs when the INFP begins to ignore the external world in favor of their subjective perception of it. When this happens they skip over Ne entirely to judge based on subjective values and perceive primarily based on their subjective perceptions of cues from the tangible world. An INFP loop would likely experience extreme withdrawal from the external world, fear of trying new things, hyperawareness of bodily sensations (pain, hunger, thirst, etc.), being stuck in a rut/routine, and hypersensitivity and emotional reasoning. (x)

Basically, a loop is when you overuse your tertiary function (in this case an INFP’s Si) over the auxiliary function (Ne), resulting in a Fi-Si function instead of Fi-Ne. Outwardly this manifests as an extrovert who is unhealthily extroverted or an introvert who is unhealthily introverted. You can read more on loops here.

I believe Kylo Ren is most likely an INFP with a Fi-Si loop, or alternatively with a Te grip. To me, he seems an unhealthily introverted introvert, and displays much of the behaviour listed as common with an INFP with a Fi-Si loop. He has withdrawn from the external world to such an extent he doesn’t even reveal himself to it. We can’t know for sure if he suffers hyperawareness to bodily sensations, but the importance of feeling pain and having that pain tied to one’s power in the dark side might relate to that. His hypersensitivity can be seen in his adverse overreactions to things, in particularly his tantrums (which I believe are hypersensitive reactions to the feeling of failure) and his struggle with emotional reasoning.

Te grip

An INFP in a Te grip disregards their dominant Fi in favor of the cold, hard logic of Te. This is likely to happen if they’ve suffered some kind of significant emotional turmoil, and particularly if that turmoil involved a prolonged disregard of the INFPs personal space, values, emotions, or identity. An INFP grip would likely experience: rejection of the complexities of personal values and emotions in favor of cold, hard logic; harsh, aggressive outbursts of negative emotion; excessive criticism of themselves and others; adherence to rigid standards and schedules; black and white thinking; refusal to confront and deal with negative emotions.(x)

Compared to a loop, a grip is in fact just the outright replacement of the dominant function (Fi) with the inferior function (Te). In an INFP’s case, this would mean the extreme refusal of the INFP’s central manner of being surrounding subjective emotions and feelings in favour of hard logic. It’s an INFP going against everything that would otherwise make them tick, rejecting themselves in the most extreme way possible.

Now, while some of these manifestations scream Kylo Ren, others are more questionable, which is why I consider a Fi-Si loop to be more likely than a Te grip. The extreme rejection of emotional thinking may seem fitting to Kylo Ren under some conditions, such as his attempts to emulate this ‘cold-hearted, logical killer’ that is the image of Darth Vader - and the way he is trying to enforce and ignore his true functions thus resulting in his aggressive outbursts of negative emotions. An INFP with a Te grip is the epitome of someone with a lot of emotions trying to bottle up all of those emotions and rejecting them, only to explode at any given point in time.

CONCLUSION

While I have spent many hours trying to figure out what Kylo Ren’s typing could be, I could still be wrong. The truth is, we haven’t seen enough of him yet to be fully sure of anything, so many of these assessments are based upon assumptions, because we just haven’t been given enough information otherwise. But, in my opinion and through my process of thorough elimination, this is the most logical fit I could find at the moment.

I will admit that I am also under the assumption that Kylo Ren will be getting redeemed, and that we will see crucial developments in the way his personality might not necessarily ‘change’ exactly, but in this case, become more healthy by the end of the trilogy. So, even as hard as I might try to remain unbiased, I do feel the need to put that out there out of fairness of letting anyone who reads this know where I stand amongst all this discourse.

Also, I know that MBTI isn’t a scientifically-proven method of analysis, but I do find it to be an incredibly useful tool when trying to understand and unpack fictional characters, or even people, and figuring out how exactly a character might think, feel, or react to any given situation and why. But hey, that’s probably just my INTP self trying find patterns in everything.

And finally, to the poor asker who didn’t actually ask for any of this at all, and who I’ve basically just word vomited all over, I’m so sorry I just can’t help myself sometimes. In answer to the question you DID actually ask, here are some interesting sources that I’ve found so far on unhealthy MBTI, keeping in mind that I, too, am still trying to find more sources on the subject:

highonmbti’s discussions on unhealthy mbti

funkymbtifiction’s discussions on unhealthy mbti

mbti-notes’ discussions on unhealthy mbti

Healthy and unhealthy cognitive functions by Erik Thor

When going through these, as an INFP, you want to specifically be paying attention to unhealthy Fi, unhealthy Ne, Fi-Si loops and Te grips as they directly relate to your type.

I haven’t found any good books that talk about unhealthy MBTI yet (the ones I have read haven’t really touched on unhealthy MBTI either), but two books I’m looking to get that may interest you (if you have the money) are:

In the Grip: Understanding Type, Stress, and the Inferior Function by Naomi L. Quenk

Was That Really Me?: How Everyday Stress Brings Out Our Hidden Personality by Naomi L. Quenk

But I will stress that I have not read these books yet, so I can’t vouch for them having useful information pertaining to unhealthy MBTI.

#reysdoublelightsaber #kylo ren #reylo #if you read between the lines #kylo ren meta #star wars mbti #i spent way too long writing this up when i should have been studying for my exam #worth it? yes #*swpersonalities #*swpersonalitiesexplained #*mymeta

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from-armin-to-z · 7 years

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How did u survive engineering school? (i'm 18 and thinking about studying engineering next year and am really not sure yet)

Ahhh that’s awesome! It’s a fascinating field with a ton of cool opportunities. I’m not sure which subset you’re looking into, but I went through a biomedical engineering program. Regardless of the engineering field you want to pursue, here are some general bits of advice that helped me through mine. Obviously these are biased and based purely on my experiences, but I’m hoping you can still find some useful tips in here! And I realize these can totally be applied to non-engineering fields as well :)

Find friends: This might actually be the most important tip I can give. You’re going to be spending a lot of time with the same classmates during your program, so it’s well worth your time to get to know some of them personally. This is useful short-term for questions on assignments or study parties, but also long-term for figuring out which people you connect with well for big projects. They’re also the people who are going to go through the same intense program you will, and there’s nothing like common suffering to draw people together lol. I spent countless all-nighters with some of my engineering friends working on projects or studying for tests, and it helped me academically to see other people’s perspectives but it also kept me mentally grounded and made me feel a lot less overwhelmed. Plus, hopefully these will be people you keep in contact with after you graduate!

Talk to professors: Seriously, they’re not that scary, and they really do like talking to students. I can’t tell you how many times professors have practically begged for students to come talk to them because no one is showing up to their office hours lol. Classwork is a great place to start the discussion, because who better to help you with on understanding difficult material than the person who is teaching you and giving the exams? But while assignments and topics are good to talk about, it’s a good idea to make an effort to get to know your professors. Connections are one of your most valuable assets, and you never know who might pass on a cool research opportunity or be willing to write you a killer letter of rec :O

Join clubs and student orgs: Chances are you’ll find some awesome engineering organizations at your school. I personally joined my school’s Biomedical Engineering Society and Society of Women Engineers chapters, both of which I met a ton of cool people. These give you a chance to meet other students in your field, but a lot of times professors or industry reps will also come to meetings, and this is another awesome opportunity to make those connections. Plus, sometimes they’ll put on professional workshops or fun events (I was always partial to BMES laser tag lol)

Find what interests you: Engineering is such a vast field, even in specific subsets. Use class, student orgs, research, whatever to figure out which projects or research you want to continue with. This could be useful short-term if you have a senior project - it’ll make your life sooo much easier if you actually enjoy the project you’re working on, because it won’t seem as much like work - but it’ll also give you a jumping-off point for what you’d like to do after college. Honestly I didn’t really even consider vet school seriously until the summer before senior year, but going through different classes and getting involved with volunteering at the animal shelter helped me figure out what I want to do with my life. And on that note, don’t be afraid to try new things outside of class! Explore off-campus, join a social group, pick up some new hobbies, whatever seems interesting! You can always decide it’s not for you, but at least you got some new experience and maybe it’ll help you learn more about yourself :)

Use a planner: You’re going to have a ton of assignments to do, obviously, but a planner is also helpful for keeping track of personal tasks or breaking down big projects into smaller bits. I personally am the kind of person who WILL forget to do something unless it’s written down, so planners saved my ass too many times to count. Obviously, using one is a personal choice, but I highly recommend and there are so many different options that can suit your specific needs or aesthetics :)

I hope these help! Thanks for the ask and feel free to ask me more specifics if you have more questions! I worked in the recruitment office for my college for a couple years so I’m always more than happy to answer school-related questions lol. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do! ❤️

#ahhh i can't believe you came to me for advice agsbx thanks #i'm not a professional by any stretch but i still hope you got something from this!#i still have no idea what i'm doing tbh ahshsx #college #biomedical engineering #long post #skelaseer #ask alli

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widow-faker · 7 years

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I'm curious to hear you thoughts about what happened to Reyes and why he's with Talon now. I find it very hard to believe that he'd willingly join a cause that he fought against his entire life. Because his friend got promoted over him? Because he was tasked with dirty work? Like.. back during Uprising his relationship with Jack was at the very least "okay". So in the span of one year he turned into a murdermass and now wants to find and kill the people who considered him family? Willingly??

oh, I don’t think he did so willingly

I genuinely believe that the ‘reaper’ is a sort of persona, an infection, if you will. Gabriel might be reaper now, but he wasn’t always. I think there were reapers before Gabe. michael chu alluded to the “wording in reapers’ bio being worded that way for a reason” and it says that the reaper has been around for decades. we know that the fall of overwatch happened six years prior to the game’s events, and the uprising event would’ve been a year before that.

I think that talon infiltrated overwatch. I think blackwatch started to turn corrupt (not as a result of Gabriel, though) and Gabe noticed it and reported it to Jack, who, at this point, was so stressed and fucked with bad press and the threat of the petras act on the horizon that he just didn’t want to believe it.

I genuinely do not think that Jack and Gabe hated each other or had much bad blood over the promotion. they were on fine terms in the comic. Jack is the only one (I believe…aside from Sombra, who does so jokingly) that has canonically referred to Gabriel as Gabe. Ana has always called him Gabriel. Pharah refers to him by his full name while talking to Jesse McCree in game. names mean a lot. there’s a difference between referring to someone by their last name vs their first name, or a nickname or a title. you have Jack call him Gabe directly, but when he’s speaking to Tracer later on in the comic, he refers to him as ‘Commander Reyes’ - this is a sign of respect. Tracer does not know him as Gabe - she knows him as the commander of blackwatch

meanwhile, in game, Soldier 76 refers to him as ‘Reyes’ when he bemoans the fact that the deadlock gang is still an issue in route 66. this shows resentment and disappointment. Gabe was his best friend for decades. to refer to him by his last name when we’ve only ever heard him refer to him as ‘Gabe’ or ‘Commander’ is important. it shows a lack of faith. he’s given up on his former friend by this point

(let’s get back on topic though) I think Gabe got frustrated with Jack right before the fall of Overwatch. Gabe tried proving to Jack for months that something wasn’t right with blackwatch, but Jack was too focused on overwatch and his own issues to deal with Gabe’s. at some point, we know that both Jesse and Genji leave blackwatch. we can assume that they discovered the corruption too and decided to bail. this probably sent Gabriel into a deep obsession to uncover the corruption, to the point where he didn’t sleep, eat, etc…

then Amelie Lacroix is kidnapped and brainwashed. Ana is shot. Gerard Lacroix is killed. overwatch rips apart at the seams. with blackwatch corrupt and the world shunning the entire organization, Jack crumbles under the pressure. he reaches out for the only one he has left - Gabe. but Gabe is pissed that Jack waited so long to take him seriously, he’s pissed that Jack ‘left’ Ana behind (which he didn’t - reread the comic) and is also so consumed with saving blackwatch (and overwatch) that he doesn’t really give him the time of day. until talon succeeds in destroying overwatch HQ

at this point, it’s too late. Jack has absolutely no idea what the fuck is happening. finally he’s like hmm…probably should’ve trusted Gabe. but the building collapses, “kills” Jack and Gabe in the process. but they’re super soldiers. Jack survives and goes into hiding, ashamed of what his leadership amounted to

Gabriel survives but doesn’t get far. I think talon kidnapped him too and infected him with the ‘reaper’. they brainwash him into thinking Overwatch was the enemy and all of his friends were liars. the reaper begins to consume him until he becomes it. I think it’s kind of like a possession. I think Gabe is still there, imprisoned in his own body as Reaper does terrible things, but thinks his friends abandoned him and left him to suffer, as he told Ana in the old soldiers comic. he probably assumed Jack had survived and was incredibly hurt that Jack didn’t try to help him

you know why I think he’s still in there? why he can be redeemed? because Ana and Jack are hellbent on tracking him down. not to kill him. they want to save him. they know that it’s not his fault that he’s acting the way that he is. they know that he can be saved. but talon has already proven they can brainwash quite effectively (a la Widowmaker) so it’s not too much of a stretch that they brainwashed Gabriel too

sorry for this long ass post that turned into like, the most massive headcanon ever, but yeah. those are my thoughts

#asks #jesus #sorry for the length #gabriel reyes #headcanon #thoughts

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fyodorscenarios · 7 years

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Hi, I'm just another major fan of your work (which is seriously beautiful by the way), and I'm just wondering about your thoughts on the recent bsd theory, which is that Chuuya would die during a battle against Fyodor. Whether you think it's true and how you personally feel about that? Thank you very much, and before I end this ask, I want to thank you for writing a Fyodor blog, Tumblr really needed it. I wish that you may have a wonderful day!

Hello! I’m so happy that you enjoy my stuff! I honestly wish I could express my gratitude for everyone who sends me nice messages in a better way, but sadly I’m not sure how. Thank you for sending me this too! I saw the post about this theory a couple days ago and I love writing about this kind of stuff.

Okay first off, to anyone who isn’t familiar with the theory, here’s the post. You might want to open it up for reference.

Since I love being overly detailed I’m going to present two contrasting arguments. Then I’m going to write a personal statement on what I think might happen, just to make this a little more organized.

Argument AGAINST the Foreshadowing of Chuuya’s Death:

The OP points out that Chuuya is the only puppet who is upside down. They then relate this to the fact that Fukuzawa and Mori are upside down as well and have already been brought to near death by Fyodor.

This may be a stylistic choice however. Notice how all the other puppets are positioned in different ways as well. None of the puppets are hanging in the same way. For instance, Yosano is hanging from one leg and the nape of her neck, Ranpo is hanging by one arm, Atsushi is hanging by his back, etc.

It should be noted that all of the puppets are hanging in different positions despite possibly having strings located in the same area. It would stand out much more if all of the puppets were in the same position except for Chuuya.

My personal belief is that Chuuya is upside-down because he can manipulate gravity and actually hang like that. Especially since his arms aren’t hanging limply like the other puppet’s bodies are. If he was simply hung upside down on purpose his arms should be falling past his head, his hands facing the ground. This seems to indicate to me that he’s meant to be using gravity manipulation.

His strings also seem to be attached to either his back or his neck, not his feet. If the strings are attached to his back/neck, he wouldn’t be able to hang like that naturally without gravity manipulation.

Therefore, I believe that this may have been a stylistic choice because of Chuuya’s ability. Sometimes people do things for no apparent reason too, and since we’re not aware how much the story has been planned out or how much Harukawa-Sensei knows about the story thus far, it’s hard to say if there is foreshadowing behind it.

Honestly, I haven’t noticed any very detailed foreshadowing in the series so far. If this was a series more known for that, I’d be more likely to believe that this was a hint that Chuuya might be killed. However, if you’ve noticed any small foreshadowing to an event that’s already occurred, let me know. I just might not be observant enough.

If I had more information about the process that Asagiri-Sensei and Harukawa-Sensei go through to release a chapter, I might have been able to infer more as to if this is foreshadowing or not. For instance, if the artist decides what to do with the spread, if the author tells the artist what to draw, or if collaboration occurs. Something like that would give me a better idea of it.

One final point; Chuuya is a fan favourite. I’m sure you’ve seen the copious amounts of Chuuya and Soukoku merch. Not to say that Asagiri-Sensei won’t kill off Chuuya because of this, but he might be advised against it by his editor/publisher. Especially since some fans will be terribly heartbroken and might stop reading the series if their favourite is gone. It’s Asagiri-Sensei’s decision in the end though.

Argument FOR the Foreshadowing of Chuuya’s Death:

It’s a damn good strategy to get Chuuya to use corruption without Dazai around.

First of all, Fyodor knows about his ability. The whole point of Fyodor getting that list was to strategize and attack based on the weaknesses of the mafia’s strongest members.

I’d like to bring up as a side note that it’s quite possible that Dazai’s ability was on the list too. We don’t know when A began compiling the list, so Dazai could’ve still been in the mafia at the time. Furthermore, if A used the mafia’s personal files to get this information, it’s likely that a detailed profile of Dazai’s ability still existed in the building after he left.

What I disagree on is the theory that Fyodor will fight Chuuya himself. Fyodor seems fairly cautious, and at this rate I feel like he’d rather have the ADA force Chuuya to use corruption.

Why?

1. Fyodor is out of harms way. If he dies so does his plan in the most likely case.

2. It’ll cause more deaths in both organizations. Consider the fact that corruption is uncontrollable without nullification. Chuuya has little consciousness during it, meaning he might just eliminate whatever’s in his path. Including both the ADA and mafia members.

3. In the end even if Chuuya kills no one, Chuuya still dies himself. Eliminating one of Fyodor’s (probably) largest threats.

Fyodor might fight Chuuya himself if he really wants Chuuya out of the way and the mafia vs. ADA fight doesn’t kill him.

The entire ADA and mafia fighting will be pretty intense though if they do decide to go all out. So I’m sure it might push Chuuya into a tight enough spot to employ corruption.

In my opinion Yosano is also at risk. She’s a healer after all, if either the mafia/Fyodor can kill her in a battle the ADA members won’t be able to recover from serious injuries quickly or possibly even at all.

My Personal Opinion:

The art was a stylistic choice. However, I can see Fyodor forcing Chuuya to use corruption, as this would benefit his plan greatly. Without Dazai nearby, corruption would defeat at least one major threat: Chuuya.

I like Chuuya, just like I like many of the other characters in the series. I’ll be honest though, I won’t be too heartbroken about most of the characters if they die. I don’t necessarily want him to die or anything, but whatever Asagiri-Sensei decides to do to is fine with me.

PS. I hope you have a wonderful day as well!

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd theory #bungou stray dogs theory #bsd predictions #abstract-violence #theories #im taking a study break today since im tired as hell #this was fun to write though

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