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selamat-linting · 5 months

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so anyway, back to bitching again (i always bitch) yall know the women's group? the one i talked about? yeah so a little backstory first for the newcomers: this girl, she was a former member of a branch of my org. she was from another town. when she moved here, she's supposed to be helping my branch right? but no, she broke off with no warning, and started a women's group with her friends. thats the group im talking about. they focus on producing art / writing as a form of their resistance. with the occasional charity event in-between. its a very laid-back almost apolitical group. my girl plans to push her friends' left by meeting them on their own terms. doing resistance the way theyre comfortable with and hoping it would influence them to be radical.

suffice to say, it failed. my girl is kicked out of the group she founded, and when i offer her to go back here, she doesnt want to. claiming this town is too far gone for any meaningful resistance. my feelings on that loaded response is well documented on this blog but anyway. lets go to the present

this group is now doing another event, a talk show about mental health. now this would be good except the topic is this, "self diagnosis: valid or not" featuring a fucking psychiatrist.

i dont know, maybe because im a victim of (mild) medical neglect from a psychiatrist, and im firmly anti-psychiatry after seeing how lucky i got compared to my comrades with a more stigmatized disorder, but this is just wack to me. idc.

like, first of all, in what world that a discussion of whether self-dx is a special topic of discourse to be treated this way? girl look at the state of our healthcare system. look at how we lack a social safety net. look at how there's practically no help for abuse and bullying victims. we dont even have a homeless shelter in this town! look at how many mental health workers that still treats homosexuality as a disease or asks child abuse victims to forgive their parents. look at how the criminal system treats addicts!!! look at the prisons! by god look at the prisons!!! prison inmates are prime examples of men and women who is failed by the state over and over again and end up hurting and abusing everyone around them, fueling the cycle anew.

youre putting the cart between the horse, by discoursing about self diagnosis when you havent even talked about how bad society is falling apart and how inefficient and inaccessible the healthcare system is. and im not just talking about the money, i know treatment's free, but is it really treatment when you have to wait four hours every two weeks just to meet an out of touch doctor for five minutes who'd just tell you to forgive your abuser then dose you up with potentially addictive medications without telling you the side-effects or even listening to your concerns?

also wow, inviting a shrink for a self dx discussion. i would bet money their stance is that theyre against it because heyyy therapy is free and covered by national insurance uwu and its your personal responsibility xoxo. very neoliberal. i always suspect their politics is as progressive as a gay conservative since they decided not to make a post acknowledging pride month when they personally call themselves a feminist collective. how come a group of college-educated women could be this unserious? unprincipled? eugh. i expected better of them than the empty headed dumbfuck boys who made a metalcore concert for a day where at least a million people died by the hands of the state but turns out theyre just a different flavor of annoying and ignorant.

but i guess i have to act professional and nice around them since they did agree to help for the pro palestine campaign. i hate this fr fr!!!!!

#posts about my life #infighting and resentment tag #anti psychiatry #i guess?

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luminusobscurum · 10 days

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alright you vultures here's your food

guy who idolized me *checks calendar* a year ago got his bubble popped when he realized all along he was an immature manchild to me.

in between the admissions hes paranoid and delusional, hes sending himself anonymous threats saying theyre from me. and people still buy it.

and now we got some new accusations under my belt. im jealous! im obsessive!

lmao. just lmao, your therapist or even worse your internet friends fucked with your head so hard you are Gone

i can sleep and hold, and love, a real man next to me, and i never had to settle on pretending id find a partner.

also, wasnt my main f/o for that fandom a woman? to the point ess and candide's ship was on google images? LOL

OH WAIT, in fact didnt a storyboard artist like my ship so much, and it fucked with you so bad you made vent art for it? hmm.

but IM jealous?? 2+2=5??

and wait didnt your lackey bark at me for thinking all this nonsense was over fandom shit? is it or isnt it? are you mad im an asshole or do you think im upset you....buy commissions? can y'all make up your mind on what we're upset over here? like im begging yall to realize the longer this drags on the more stupid and barrel scraping this shit is getting.

but its whatever, the cold truth, is the narrative of someone who physically disgusted me from day one to the point i had a sticky note over his pfp is hilarious, yeah bro ill get myself obsessed again when i eat some bad shrimp.

no really its very hard to look at when you cant get the time for anything about who you are unless my name is pulled, get a new gimmick.

and realistically, from the bottom of my heart, i do believe theres a third party sending these anons to fuck with us, to drag it on further. and hes giving them what they want because with this guy it is /guaranteed/ he will react and blow it out of proportion after all hes "like that" isnt he?

i know theres a cycle where I get asks I delete, then 2-3 days later, i get random shit in my inbox "are you going to doxx him? are you going to attack him? are you going to burn his crops!?" which triggers another scratch fight. of nothingness, nothing gets done. except what the people want, online adrenaline rush, clicking back and forth between our profiles shallow breathing whats gonna be posted next.

but even if its someone else sending these anons. i got a little file full of shit i never did since "was mean to me" didnt have enough oomph for a callout and frick frack and fuck comes out of the woodwork saying i called him a scammer or rigged him during an election idk, my comedic attittude about all this just emphasizes how much i dont care anymore.

but hey i can mark up the failed effort to get me kicked out of flight school and these anons i get talking about hurting my nephews and hoping my sister will overdose to him and his goons. fuck it why not. see how easy it is?

to state, amidst the chaos, i thought talking on a throwaway account, something i can do and do again nullified the purpose of ever needing anon. (i understand in saying this, could give the third party ideas, but i mean, the 3-4 online people i rarely talked to dont talk to me ever now so what else do you want from me, i dont know if this/these individual(s) are driven by some twisted moral standing or a sense of vigilantism but i promise, speaking from no place of emotion, youre doing more hurt to this guy fucking with him than you are making me worry about my online reputation)

i did Not use tumblr back then when any of this happened, not to mention anon hate has never been my style. im sorry but i have cooler ways to be a dick, you know this. i think its not hard to say "ess is loud, bold, aggressive, no filter, etc." at least acknowledge That as the truth and use it against me instead of whatever is happening here.

i went to his personal dms, fucked with his friends who tried to jump in, all using my name. i wasnt worried about people knowing it was me, i already knew it was too late and it didnt matter. trying to cover myself wouldnt have even been something i was concerned with because it was impossible. nor would i have cared really, at the time, i wanted everyone right then and there to know it was me and what i was doing, even on my main account i was going off.

this part i was trying to frantically explain, in a moment of vulnerability i will never Ever fucking allow myself to be put under again, it had been conveniently cropped out of the apology i sent to him. (yes, the one i took back, because if everyone hated it, bitched about me for not following the 10 commandments to an online apology and he genuinely didnt want it, why would i leave it up at that point. like seriously.

good thing i have the capacity to block, at this point its just a display over who needs that sweet online drama adrenaline for a sense fullfillment and who doesnt.

everyone in my life has told me "what can you do to him he hasnt done to himself" once i tell them the story and yeah....

yeah..

but yeah this message is for the keyboard squad but mainly for the fence sitters who stick by waiting for a conclusion or some form of closure. there isnt gonna be one. ive done all the work on my half creating better social spaces in real environments. i understand i wasnt great to someone. ONE. and ever since then ive been doing my work.

needless to say, im gonna parrot this, and say ive graduated flight school last month and ive found freelance work as a private aviatior, ive been talking to a therapist, am staying medicated, and ive built myself up and have become an active member in my community and will be looking into EMT training shortly so i can be a better street medic.

and im sorry, genuinely from the bottom of my heart, there are people who exist stuck in this time tunnel reliving the same day over and over. you can buzzword and slam your fists out of this and dig your heels in refusing the reality here, but ive wrote this understanding the audience this is talking too has no sense of rationality left. ive done my work, a fuckton of hard work after fucking up and hitting rock bottom and i cant let you nor your friend's inability to move on, doom me to being the same "evil" (that got a laugh from me) person.

im not scared of getting screenshotted, angry dms, anons, my posts analyzed with test tubes and beakers, take me to kiwifarms officer. this whole place could hate me and ill just go "youre all wrong, sorry"

in fact i dont even want an answer to any of these questions, this is just my final statement on the situation because im breaking this cycle. its not an 8 anymore, its a 0.

and as for the one which coat tailed this situation between me one and other person to try and dogpile the drama. our situation is entirely different from what happened here. like you can spread whatever narrative and half truths you need but you and i alone will only ever know the truth about what happened, and you can sleep on that. you have never been an afterthought to me outside of busting out laughing at a walmart whenever i see "anti-frizz" serum. i just hope you dont gotta go lay down after reading that.

#vent

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suzakushimon · 9 months

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ermmm i need to be a hater bc i can't stand how popular the bla.de/da.n hen.g ship is

posting this as of 1.2 release

like first of all a LOT of the "material" for the ship is how dan feng and blade (I forgot his other name so im just gonna call him blade the whole time) were v close

i think i would agree w and even like the headcanon that they were lovers

but the thing is.... dan heng is NOT dan feng. like that's the whole point of the past life thing... and the game has already given us at least 3 separate instances where they call the current incarnations different ppl from their previous incarnations. im thinking specifically of the npc girl in luofu whos singing when u first meet her when i say even the dragon race themselves treat their past lives as a separate person

its just hammered in over and over that the new incarnations don't have memories of their predecessor and that they're essentially entirely different people

so that's the entire basis of blade/dan heng GONE

like. they're not exes. they're not ex-friends. they're not ANYTHING bc dan heng ISNT dan feng!!!! the only actual relationship these 2 have is hunter and hunted!!

and like... if all the ship fanworks were based off of that enemies to lovers dynamic maybe id eat it up

but all the shit i see is how theyre exes or soulmates or whatever and its💀💀💀💀 they ARENTTTT they aren't soulmates or star-crossed lovers destined to meet in all of their lives they aren't ANYTHING blade is trying to kill a dead man by killing what resembles him the most its like trying to kill his bfs son bc his bf already kicked the bucket💀💀💀 there's nothing romantic abt those circumstances if u consider dan heng his separate person from dan feng (which I think everyone should)

like if it was dan FENG waking up and seeing his ex going crazy w the desire to kill him uhhh that'd be hot

BUT ITS NOT. ITS DAN HENG. AN ALMOST COMPLETELY UNRELATED GUY.

DAN HENG ISNT DAN FENG. dan heng doesn't owe blade anything!!! he doesn't have mistakes to make up for he's not obligated to seek blades forgiveness nor forgive blade for trying 2 kill him all the time and he DOESNT have "hidden memories" or a "distant past" w blade. those memories and past all belong to dan FENG, A DIFFERENT GUY. da same soul doesn't equal da same person!!!!!

bros if the fics and fanarts are abt dan heng building a completely new relationship w blade id eat that shit up but instead it's all abt reviving a lost love or rekindling a flame or whatever😭😭😭😭 yall r so wrong there's no gotdamn flame 2 rekindle stop treating dan heng like he's dan feng the whole 1.2 story goes over that shit

but since 1.2 main story literally JUST came out and tho they've told us abt the past life stuff in the side stories before 1.2, i know a lot of ppl straight up dont pay attention to side stories so i guess I can't rly blame ppl for just relying on the tropes they like (love that persists thru reincarnation and exes 2 enemies 2 lovers and all that jazz) to go delulu

hopefully all the fic from now on will at least acknowledge dan heng as his own person...

i don't like the ship rn bc it does dan heng so dirty💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

#my mumbles

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tenshindon · 3 years

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dragon ball super really said yes yamcha and tien can stand next to each other every second of every episode and yes they can stand next to each other in the credits and tien can look at yamcha like he’s absolutely enamored with him no they cannot cameo in each others own focused episodes and im still not over it

#snap chats #at the very least yamcha mentions him but ?????#holy shit how do you fuck up this bad #like yall at least acknowledge theyre friends???#res f shows that tien at least cares about yamcha on the same level as chiaotzu #or at least cares about him enough to keep him behind #bro why not just let them show up in each other's eps #im lying i nkow why cause then theyd just turn into yamcha and tien episodes #cause theyre peas in a pod Genuinely LMAO #highkey tho yamcha and tien episodes are my favorite not cause of The Obvious #but theyre just the most fun and interesting #i mostly think of king kai episodes and the volcano episodes Granted but still #their relationship genuinely is just fun to watch #i esp love watching them being sassy to people like the ginyu force and future trunks LMAO #not to mention they just work well together like bruh #i have a very personal bone to pick with super and its prob not as bad as i always say it is #but man it just disappoints me with what they could do #esp when its so weird like this like- like imagine 90+ episodes of these two stapled at the hip #even in the credits theyre right by each other and tien's looking at yamcha like he's his lover #why disclude them from each other's episodes- yamcha's ep MAYBE i could let slide if i hate myself enough #but with tien its like??? yamcha actually has MORE of a reason to be there than roshi #i could get into tien and roshi's relationship highkey but roshi wasnt even utilizied that well pardon to be a perv and like #give goku a reason to visit tien :) because goku apparently just forgot how dedicated of a fight tien is :)))#thats a whole other thing god i fucking hate the tien episode #the point is yamcha actually regularly visits tien ?? why not just have him show up the same time that goku decides to visit #and have goku actually think to seek out tien because that makes the most sense????#i could make a whole post talking about Everything Wrong with the tien ep but i just wont that shits bad for my mental health #im done withthis post tho i didnt plan on getting tilted today 😩

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antiloreolympus · 2 years

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11 Anti LO Asks

1. that confession is REALLY stretching it to excuse how rachel is shit at character design. yes the greeks saw the gods as flawless, but they still looked different. for example ares and hephaestus was depicted as more muscular than say the more lithe apollo and dionysus. hera and demeter had more wide hips and chests than aphrodite, who in turn was more curvy than the more slender artemis, and the list goes on. rachel is just not a good character artist, you guys, it's not that deep.

2. rachel literally just copy and pastes her character designs to absurd degrees, showing shes actually not that good of an artist and is exceedingly lazy. seriously, the nymphs are just persephone with pointy ears. leto is just hera with black eyes. apollo and hades looking /exactly/ the same. It may be rude to say, because when she actually puts in effort her art looks good, but Rachel has been shown time and time again to be a rather incompetent artist, especially for the past few years.

3. for anyone wondering, its likely rachel purposely picked graves and ovid over actual greek sources like homer and hesiod is because ovid had the version where minthe was destroyed by persephone (the greek versions had demeter doing it) and graves is the one who made up persephone's name is actually kore and said she was a nobody until she married hades and actually gained power and respect via him. they fit her twisted fanfic, not that theyre actual greek and legit mythology sources.

4. i know it wont happen but i just wish the actual romance was pushed off or even dropped for the time being so persephone could have had her own life and gotten her degree and lived a little bit on her own, instead of rachel doubling down and making sure persephone has NOTHING outside of him and dropping all her goals for him. its just sad she had inklings of being a real character but instead has been bogged down to hades' trophy to win and put on a pedestal for his own wants, not her own.

5. ive followed other webtoons and other stories where the male lead falls for the woman very fast, but the authors make a point they become friends first and slowly but surely over weeks/months/years in story to build up the foundations before they even go on a date, much less get together as an actual couple. the fact hades has only know persephone a MONTH and doesnt even know her and yet we're supposed to believe theyre soulmates and its ok hes burning every bridge for her is normal?? what???

6. zeus is clearly a better leader and king if hades literally assaulted him/yelled at him in court and yet didnt kick the everloving shit out of him for it. hades is completely unlikeable in this whole trial and yet im sure rachel thinks its so romantic hades is being a completely irrational, short tempered dick throughout the whole thing. like zeus isnt even a real threat persephone, tbh, theres no reason for hades to act like such a violent prick to his own brother who has reason to punish her.

7. in ep 109 it directly points out rhea and persephone look exactly the same and shes a "spitfire" to compare theyre both "badass goddesses" and its like ... rachel you know thats weird, right? does hades want to bang his mom?? or at least a lookalike of her?? why is this a thing???

8. Someone mentioned Hades being attributed to like oil and petrol and stuff and it’s funny that he’s given that since that’s a big part of his characterization in Hadestown as well. In Hadestown though, he’s the villain. Literally the only big difference between LO Hades and Hadestown Hades is that he’s actually acknowledged to be a terrible person in Hadestown and Persephone hates him for it. Honestly now I’d like to see Hadestown Persephone in LO. She’d tear LO Hades apart.

9. let me make it simple for yall. calling rachel a bitch is misogynistic. saying her work is bad and pointing out the very real flaws and problems she constantly excuses and promotes such as good like toxic and even violent romances, misogyny, racism, classism, and even antisemitism is not. cool? cool.

10. This next chapter did nothing to undo anything mentioned in the previous. We got Minthe is a plant and persphone not even sorry for it, just that maybe she can turn her back to a person but don’t worry she’s not dead! Like Zeus cares about making an exanple out of Persphone, yet doesn’t remember Minthe was one of the people who turned Persphone in? Or that was hades almost fiancé? Like persphone is worse than they thought!

Thanatos talking about nepotism, and hades is literally doing everything in his power to defend Persephone’s sketches without even hearing what her plan was for the underworld. Like I know he’s her lawyer but even that is over the top.

Oh and Hades wanting to know why Demeter doesn’t like hades after he called her daughter hot? Gee no wonder why she doesn’t like you and would want to hide everything. Imagine, you hide something from the king of the underworld and he finds your daughter hot? He’s gonna go to Zeus and be like “I’ll forgive them if I get Demeters daughter was a bride.” Like yeah you’re unapproachable.

I feel like when RS addresses the problems she doesn’t fix them, she just acknowledges there there and moves past them. Like Hecate and Hera telling Hades Persphone is too young, hades didn’t prove himself at all, they just flipped their mind.

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

11. its so gross how RS is using Persephone's assault to excuse her actions of mass murder and torture as if the former wasnt well before she met Apollo and the latter had nothing to do with the SA, it was just her lashing out she would finally be facing consequences for her actions. Persephone can be both a victim and still be a bad person who has harmed so many others without using an unrelated trauma she went through to excuse it. Serial killers are often abused as kids, are they excused too now?

From OP: (Not exactly sure if they’re talking about FP but Hades’ comment in 183 makes me believe it’s about the FP. If it’s not, my apologies!)

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

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shoezuki · 3 years

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Ngl i think tommys gonna delete that tweet soon

I hope he doesnt or at least doesnt feel he Has To. But ya i wouldnt be surprised.

Ppl really actin like tommy acknowledging n sayin he misses his friend is an act of racism n some fuckery like.... theyre friends yall the fuck

#ppl like 'sbi is dead' no it aint dumbasses they r FRIENDS #anon #twitter beef

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theunconcernedembalmer · 3 years

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Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?

ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH

uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)

so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too

another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)

as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.

then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD

i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)

in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.

i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)

anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)

uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha

ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow

BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks

#its me the mun #unconcerned ramblings #i know ive said that there are a lot of new blogs popping up #but uhhh i dont really dare to interact with them #considering they kinda did come in just when shit had hit the fan n idk i might have been known as The Problematic Blog tm #so i understand if ppl dont want to interact with me n im fine with it. so for now i wont be initiating anything #like dropping asks into inboxes unless i know the mun n theyre comfortable with me doing this #i will interact with everyone who drops by my inbox tho!!#i also tend to get to replies for other blogs faster than general replies cos i feel bad if i kept the other person waiting for too long #I DO forget about rp replies sometimes tho. sometimes #i try my best to get to every one of them tho. even when im kinda busy this period aha #also starting off is actually easy. its about maintaining thats difficult i feel #which is also why i havent done up a genshin ask blog yet HAHAHAHAHA #i really hate to give up on something ive already started when it comes to art projects so

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wheremyscalesslither · 4 years

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Life sucks. It's pretty common knowledge that my mental and physical health have been consistently TERRIBLE, and I have hit a point where I feel like Im not progressing. My dad told me once that people often cannot meet my expectations, and that's why i run into conflict. He also told me that sometimes that means i cannot meet my own expectations. I expect myself to continue on as normal, before my health started worsening, and while my animals are not the ones to suffer, it is time i acknowledge that I am caring for them at great expense to myself. I've tried to compensate for the responsibilities I have, work, art, animals, but at this point, ive decided the best option for me is to minimize my life style. It's been painful to do, because I enjoy so many things, but ive spiraled out way too far, and im not any happier for it.

I've gotten rid of the variety of art types that i do. Any non-essential epoxy resin supplies, beads i was using for keychains, colored pencils lol, leather working stuff, and other things i cant remember

My pirate costume was dismantled, keeping only the skirt and corset. That hurt for whatever reason.

My bone collection has decreased.

CLOTHES lol which sounds funny but i dont wanna do more than two loads of laundry like EVER.

Video games 😬 😬

And the absolute worst, most heartbreaking part, is im rehoming animals. Some temporarily, others permanently, but in the end, leaving only a smattering here:

Helios and Atlas, my two first personal snakes, non breeding males. I could not let them go.

Ygritte, as she is the baby from my first clutch, and my heart snake.

Whiskey, Pipsqueak, and Agave (specter female) because i committed to caring for them from my friends, and I love them dearly.

Sparrow, because she is special to me.

And finally Apollo, because axanthics are my favorite, and I can keep a hold on him if i decide i would like to breed a clutch next year from Ygritte or Whiskey.

Tormund is also coming home from my friend, and i am undecided if I will keep him or not.

Everyone else has been arranged for already, including most of the potential hatchlings within Ygrittes eggs- with the exception of two males-

1.0 Fire orange ghost (Euron)

1.0 Fire enchi yellowbelly (Prom/Prometheus)

I love these animals and i love breeding, but i need to stop kidding myself, and get myself together before I continue doing basically anything superfluous in my life. I can pick breeding back up in the future, when I'm at a place where life doesn't suck so much and doesn't feel like so much effort, energy, and emotion are driving me into the ground. I especially dont want to breed rats anymore. As much as i love them, theyre too much work. Time and energy are not a luxury i have right now.

I have things I absolutely love, but I have to learn to love myself, and its going to take so much more than I have to give right now.

Im not sure where this blog will sit while I get myself together. Expect Ygritte updates, i feel i owe yall that much at least, but my social media use is likely going to take a large downturn while i focus on myself.

It's been really really hard asking for help from other people, pushing aside my pride and embracing my pride all at the same time to admit i am at the end of my rope and my life needs an overhaul or i am not getting better.

I am extremely lucky and fortunate to have built a network and involved myself in the community to the point i have friends willing to house my treasured animals indefinitely, so I can really truly put my resources towards bettering myself, and still have the option to acquire them back.

Of my animals, those being temporarily housed will be:

Amaretto- mystic leopard

Merlot- mojave blackhead red gene ringer gene

Epic/Epimetheus- super disco enchi pos het rainbow and hypo

Tauriel- orange dream yb fire pinstripw

Poppet- hognose snake

And Possibly Bourbon, but he may also be sold.

This is the hardest thing i have had to do so far, to admit i am not caring for myself to the extent that i need to, and to ask for help from so many different people.

Anyway, that is where I am at.

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lavellander · 3 years

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more bc i am unstoppable now

I Am Thinking About My DA Protagonists’ Taste In Romantic Partners both their “usual” type and why they’re drawn to their canon love interest (and the hypothetical ones from other games). i expect no one to give a shit abt this except me lsdfjd but im on a roll and its a good exercise or whatever. i’m sure i’ll use it eventually?????

once again. i know no one gives a fuck but if anyone DOES happen to want to torture themselves and read this pls know all my ocs are bi except zaniyah, who is a lesbian<3

sarenan:

general disclaimer that “in the circle love is just a game” etc etc etc so while she definitely is more inclined to romantic relationships, she only really had friends w benefits at most

she likes smart people! she likes fun people, she likes people who can get on board with her fucked up sense of humor. she’s witty and charming and loves to flirt just to flirt, and in the circle that wasn’t much of an issue lol. leliana is the first person she ever feels like...foot-in-mouth around, bc suddenly she likes and is attracted to someone and...that’s allowed? it’s all very foreign to her but she falls Real Hard, Real Fast

in a hypothetical da2 romance obviously isabela is extremely hot but also sarenan canonically has a foursome w her, leli, and zev so dLFKKDS it makes sense that bela’s the love interest of choice<3 (but also i think it would be like...friends-to-friends with benefits-to-lovers lol)

in a hypothetical dai romance once again josie is very hot and also so sweet and cute and delightful !!!!! idk if its just me but i see similarities bw origins leli and josie so again it just makes sense to me that josie is the LI for an inq romance :’)

(BUT for the most part. it is pretty hard for me to imagine sarenan w anyone but leli, bc they are the only couple i have that like. makes sense. lmfao)

maeve:

actually doesnt often have romantic relationships? she has ~flings~ and rarely catches feelings. she describes her type as “anyone sexy”

(her and isabela do in fact have a brief Thing but strictly no strings attached; this is bc i was very very adamant about romancing isabela when i played da2 and then anders fucking SNIPED me. so i incorporated it into canon i guess. lmao)

her attraction to anders is originally just “sexy tortured man” and then “sexy tortured man that gives free healthcare to poor people!!!!” and then - after it’s clear it won’t be a fwb situation - she realizes she has Actual feelings for him and is like well. its been a good run. guess i’ll die! until he reciprocates dflksdjf then they are kirkwall’s weirdest couple to everyone except themselves :’)

in a hypothetical dao romance her and zev would be classic fuckbuddies who accidentally start having a crush on each other, absolutely refuse to acknowledge it, then someone else in the friend group is like “oh my god PLEASE just kiss we are all going insane watching yall do this” <3

in a hypothetical dai romance im still torn bw sera and bull. maeve would just keep hitting on sera until sera did something about it; bull would be similar to zevran in the fuckbuddies-accidentally-caught-feelings dynamic

alani:

i feel like (depending on the size of the clan etc) alani was prob mostly involved w people she’d known almost all her life. she’s obviously attracted to other ppl who like to learn and stuff, but other than that it’s equal opportunity crushes ykwim. she doesn’t even Know she has a thing about people who are like. puzzles to be solved until solas lol

in a hypothetical dao romance she’d be drawn to alistair bc...who wouldnt be. hes adorable. they’re both warm friendly charming sunshines and i think it’d be natural for them to be drawn to one another. once she realizes he has Baggage she’s like oh. OH. i have to defend you against the world now

in a hypothetical da2 romance i thiiink it would be kinda similar to solas. like oh this bitch has a lot of emotional walls up, he’s got some real shit going on. I Like That. also mage rights, hes a sad sexy doctor, we love a revolutionary, etc. it makes sense imo

zaniyah:

similar to maeve i think she’s more of a fling person than a relationship person, but she has had a couple gfs. she’s not very comfy being super serious but she’s a good gf and is very devoted. generally speaking i think she just likes Hot Ladies but is esp drawn to quirky / weird ppl lol

in a hypothetical dao romance she’d like morrigan bc 1) she’s hot and 2) she’s standoffish lol. she’d take it upon herself to get morrigan to like her as like, a personal triumph, but then along the way realize she has a real crush on her and be like shit? fuck? (the same goes for morg. it would be an oh shit oh fuck moment on both ends)

in a hypothetical da2 romance i think her and merrill would be more like friends to lovers :’) zaniyahs immediately like “youre weird. i like you” also they bond bc dalish etc, and over time she starts liking her more and more. eventually zaniyah just cant take it anymore and kisses merrill, apologizes profusely, etc, and merrill’s like “oh. i thought we were dating?” sldkfjsLDKFJds i care them

(josie is kind of an outlier bc she’s so graceful, collected, knows what to do/say always, etc. i dont believe in love at first sight but if i did thats what zaniyah and josie would be<333)

ranae:

she doesnt like. have a type really. because she’s just been in love w her childhood best friend since forever and doesnt think of what she might like in other ppl bc well. he’s right there? she assumes they’ll be together forever, even if only platonically :(

when she meets morrigan she’s like oh i like women too apparently. cool?? when she meets alistair shes a little put off by the fact that hes a golden retriever, then clings to him bc Trauma, then VERY begrudgingly realizes she has a crush on him but feels like shes betraying tamlen

eventually she comes to terms w the fact that like. theres nothing she can do about tamlen unfortunately, and alistair is here and Loves Her and he’s been the only person to make her truly happy in a very long time. it takes a lot for her to think she deserves that, but she does, and the rest is history :’)

in a hypothetical da2 romance it makes perfect sense to me that she’d latch onto the other Elf Who Is Full Of Rage immediately. they are both very intense and it can put other people off sometimes but they dont really care! die mad about it, shem! etc

in a hypothetical dai romance she’d be drawn (platonically) to blackwall bc grey warden stuff, but subconsciously they both kind of feel like frauds, like they dont deserve happiness, etc; theyre both kinda brusque, at least at first, too. she just kinda sees him as a buddy til she watches him bonding w sera or with some kids or something and then shes like 😳 😳 😳 and then angry that shes like that lmao

#oc prompt #AGAIIINNNNNN going to reiterate i know no one cares im posting this for Me #to Reference #also i have had wine. so #what can you do when the OC brain goblin latches on ykwim #sarenan surana #maeve hawke #alani lavellan #zaniyah lavellan #ranae mahariel

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galaxytale · 3 years

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mmmm…. i have new thoughts about my ex and i’s situation.

i know i have rambled on here in the past about them. often bitterly and angrily. to be honest, those words came from a place of immense hurt and betrayal. a lot of pain and a lot of complex emotions that i needed to vent out and process. and the way i did this previously was… rather embarrassing and harmful and not good for anyone. but it has been a long year, and i have had much to think about. and my brain does not like to process many of these things in a normal way. i often just use this blog as a place to barf out my thoughts at random so i can work out whats going on in my mind. this doesnt excuse it but i hope it allows for some understanding.

its been a long time since my ex and i broke up. and i just… idk didnt know how to deal properly. but i think about them a lot. obviously. what you see is mostly the negatives. the frustrations and the confusions and the residual aches and pains. mostly because these are what im trying best to understand. i want to understand them, i want to understand their perspective. it frustrates me when i cant understand, and it frustrates me more when i feel as if they couldnt understand me or didnt even try. but i still care for them greatly. which is why i get frustrated. i do not think many people understand this. i want to understand why they hurt me. i want to understand how i hurt them. i want to learn and grow. but to do that i also have to experience and process the anger and frustration i felt towards them. this is what you all see when i ramble and rant.

anyway this is the last time im doing this publicly because honestly this is a stupid way to process stuff this and i figured out something way better. also im just. tired of it. im tired of being angry and being hurt. that doesnt mean itll stop but. yall wont be seeing it.

i still hold many of my previous thoughts and criticisms of them. and i still consider many of these valid and fair. and i still deny ever doing many of the things they accused me of because ive spoken with other people about them - people actually involved in the situation(s), and they have supported and corroborated my side of the story as well as my feelings regarding those various situations.

however i have come to some realizations that i think allow me to better understand parts of their side of it all.

ive realized some things about myself and how my mind functions that have lead me to other realizations. these realizations include that i misunderstood a lot of things they were trying to get me to do, tools they were trying to get me to employ, things that actually would have been helpful to me had i understood. i see now that in some of the cases they were pushing me on and making me extremely uncomfortable with, that they were genuinely trying to be helpful because they cared. because they were trying to help me just as i was trying to help them.

the problem here is that i was not ready for, and did not understand a lot of the new things being pushed at me. much of what they were trying to get me to engage with were therapy techniques and stuff to learn to cope better. unfortunately due to a lot of previous bad experiences with therapy and such techniques i am extremely adverse to and suspicious of therapy and therapeutic settings/techniques. combined with a lot of new information about myself that i needed time to adjust to and process. a lot of it scared me and i needed them to slow down and be gentler with me in this rather than throwing me in the deep end and expecting me to swim.

i misunderstood a lot of the tools they were trying to offer me - how to use them properly and why. i thought i made this obvious that i didnt understand a lot of it and in fact didnt want to engage with a lot of it outright - even though i was willing to try. the issue is i also needed a good example or instruction of what they wanted from me and… well. they did their best, this i know they tried, but it was not enough for me to understand what they really wanted from me.

i now understand that this is likely why they grew frustrated with me. and this also factors into something that ive come to realize and understand about myself - in fact its one of the things they criticized about me most… ive come to understand the true nature of what the thing i did that they hated most was actually. and ive since worked out a solution to it that actually has been shown to be far more effective and efficient in doing what the thing they were criticizing me about most was doing. this took a lot of work and a long time for me to come to the realization of what it was that i needed to do and how it worked. and i needed to be allowed to make this discovery on my own time, at my own pace to be able to accept it as part of how i work.

unfortunately due to a lot of things, i was also quite terrible to them myself. and i recognize this. i recognized it before - i tried my best to fix my understanding of it but i did not know what i didnt know. i did not know, and did not understand, what i now know and understand. but much of my actions were because i was scared, confused, uncomfortable, and dealing with a whole lot of shit outside of our relationship. and i am genuinely and truly remorseful for what i did. i was remorseful back then, and i still am now. i did some bad things and i know this. i speak of it vaguely here because honestly while im just shouting to the void i still know this is a public blog and theres a chance people will actually read this and frankly. i consider it none of their business unless they were involved. i did lash out at them, and i did treat them unfairly.

however i still feel as if they refuse to acknowledge my point of view in much of this, as well as that they lashed out at me and have refused to acknowledge and apologize for it all. i have never heard them say the words “im sorry” for any of the things i consider the worst things they did to me. much of the time they refused to even acknowledge the fact that a lot of it hurt me despite me outright stating such. they also refused to acknowledge that i had repeatedly tried to assert my own boundaries with them and refused to accept a new boundary when it was drawn.

they did a lot of terrible things to me in return. including things that they, themself, accused me of doing to them initially. i still deny these accusations and consider myself completely innocent (at worst, should my own memory really be that faulty, i consider myself only having caused a huge misunderstanding among friends as well as having accidentally fucking up something that left out important context). i feel this way because they would not produce any evidence to prove to me my own actions that would negate the memories i myself actually have as well as the evidence in support of my side of the case that i have. all they could provide was testimony from a person who would not have had direct access to either side of the conversation that they are alleging happened a certain way. a conversation that i, personally, was half of. a conversation that i spoke with the other half about again, after showing them what i was being accused of, who also verified my recollection of the events.

i feel as if they refuse to even consider my perspective. i felt this way for a good amount of the relationship, and i still feel this way. i feel that they refused to communicate with me and ensure that both of us completely understood the other. i feel that they refused to be considerate of my needs and respectful towards me as a person after a certain point. i feel as if they refused to work to compromise with me on many situations, and i feel that they often tried to demand of me many things that were unreasonable, and that they often moved goalposts or failed to deliver on their end of the deal when i still bent over backwards to do something for them.

however. i do also feel that at some point in time, they did genuinely care for me. and i do feel like i would like to apologize for the new places where i realize i caused them undue stress and frustration.

but i also feel that they would not accept this apology for those parts that i now recognize my own hand in without me accepting and apologizing for the narrative that i know is false. additionally… i do not feel as if they would accept or apologize for any of their own parts in the situation. i still feel theyre likely to reject that they hurt me very very deeply, and badly in return.

as much as i would like to start the conversation of potentially working out the issues and reconnecting as friends… i still feel as if they would view this as an impossibility. because i feel they view me as something of a monster, and not as someone who was under immense amounts of stress and pressure and was very confused and scared for months on end.

i recognize its very likely their feelings echo my own. except for the portion about potentially being friends again… i feel as if this is a forgone conclusion to them that it will not be happening.

all this said…

i also want to say this. in hindsight they were right about the tool they gave to me for one of my specific issues. the one they gave me before the start of it all. the one i was extremely adverse to accepting and trying to adapt to. i did not understand what its actual purpose was for at the time, nor did i understand how they actually meant for me to use it. because of some recent things ive learned about myself, as well as have been able to actually accept, i now understand what they meant. and ill admit that they were right about this one. its really helpful now that i understand what i was supposed to do with it.

they were right and i was wrong. simple as. at least, in regards to this one thing.

#chrono speaks #griff talks about his ex #for the final time anyway #this is all for me tbh #just cuz its helping me to come to terms with some stuff and feel more at peace with things #i dont think theyll see it #they never looked at my blog anyway before #just ive been doing a lot of introspection and thinking and you guys only see a portion of it all and not even my real like #level headed thoughts on things

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spnshameblog · 3 years

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not to insert myself into anything, but the topic of the evening is kinda hard to miss, so here are my 2 cents:

some ppl (esp on twitter and in the disgustor communtiy) will act like speculating about someones orientation is this huge invasion of privacy and i’m just like......... queer ppl do that literally all the time irl. jesus christ not everyone walks around with a rainbow pin, sometimes you get a ~vibe~ from someone or youre interested in someone so you go snooping or you discuss the subject with your queer friends. thats literally everyday queer behaviour. I’m sorry that some of you dont have many irl queer contacts, i am, but i can PROMISE YOU i have had at least 10 conversations along the lines of “i found this, this this and this on her instagram. you think she’s into girls?”. how else do you think this works?

also can yall pls stop acting like wondering if someone is gay/bi/queer is super insulting? you know what that implies right? you know why you assume someone would find this insulting right? i’m super uncomfortable with people who ask actors for private/intimate information and i dont like it when ppl get a little too sure of their theories to the point where they feel like theyve “cracked” this person and those ppl definitely shouldnt be encouraged, but..... you dont need to attack and insult people for speculating lmao.

there is a huge difference between “we’re speculating about someone in a way that doesnt force the person to interact with/acknowledge it or making some silly jokes” and “we’re prying someone for private information and making a huge deal about it on a platform WE KNOW theyre active on”. also if you have to act all high and mighty, at least do it on tumblr, too.

anyways, please continue.

#anyways this is all very funny #and if anyone posts this to twitter i will slit their tires #m

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arthur-kingsmen · 3 years

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thinking about how i keep on doing stuff WAY above my pay grade at work and i kinda want to physically fight the owner bc i know i am not getting a raise anytime soon

[[MORE]]

i’m a waitress so like, my job is serving my tables and my side-work. that’s it. i get paid $4 an hour, which admittedly is nearly twice server min wage but. $4 an hour. and i am not gonna lie, i know i’m not the best at my job, but it feels like i’m the only one who works and puts effort in and its being aknowledged in every aspect except monitarily/verbally. my managers are ACKNOWLEDGING im progressing and doing way more shit than others but they will never say that to my face and they do not want to give me a raise rn bc they dislike what i’m like outside work. i make the most out of any waitress there in tips and i finish all my work with ample time to do everyone elses work too, cause no one else really gives a shit. and its. not recognized. all they do is put me in charge MORE OFTEN without any thanks or aknowledgement

im literally frothing at the mouth. like. im rattling the bars of my cage

all my friends work there and the pay is good so i’m reluctant to quit but jesus christ im literally handling all my tables, handling half of everyone elses bc theyre all new hires who were NOT trained so i gotta help them with the computer system/our menu/bringing out food/running checks, ALL the side-work bc again no ones trained properly or they just dont do it, literally half my shifts a manager tells me “im going in the back, you’re in charge, here’s my card if you need any discounts, you’re the only one allowed in the regester” LIKE. AT THAT POINT GIVE ME MY OWN CARD. LET ME IN THE REGISTER ALL THE TIME. i dont even want to be a manager but if they’re gonna fucking give me all this responsibilty at LEAST make me a head server/shift leader or be like “hey! good job!” every once in a while.

fuckin. all the new hires have been coming up to me for advice or questions. literally i’ve had them come up to me and tell me the kitchen’s being shitty so i had to go back and tell the kitchen off. MULTIPLE TIMES. i’ve even had to tell the kitchen how to do shit! i’ve had SO many people ask me to use “my manager password” for authorizing stuff and i always tell them and whoever else is in ear shot that i’m not a manager, i don’t have a password, i just have all the goddamn responsibility of a shift lead and none of the money or title to show for it. if you have half your staff coming to ME for management questions or work advice or how we should run things that shift, maybe thats a sign i’m doing too much managing or the managers are doing jack shit! literally most of my tables lately have been tipping me extra and telling me its cause i’m always sprinting around and busy, and i wanna just. course im always sprinting around and busy! bc im doing EVERYONE ELSES job! i’ve even had tables tip me 50%+ and tell me to please not quit cause the place would suck without me!

i’m just... i love this place and thats WHY i put all my energy into it, i adore this restaraunt and all my coworkers but i feel so taken for granted and it. sucks. id quit but if i go anywhere else its gonna be a big pay cut and no guarantee that anywhere else would be better. i wanna sit down my boss and managers and be like, hey, i’ve been busting my ass for yall since day 1 and i’ve gotten one raise in two years and absolutely no official moving up the ranks, but they don’t like me :) cause i started dating a former manager (after he quit) and they think i’m an alcoholic (which ??? hello?? its been months since my last drink tyvm and i’ve been v open about my sobriety nowadays). the problem is they can’t keep out of work shit out of work and i wanna call them out on it SO bad but there’s no scenario where that doesn’t end in me snapping at my shitty bosses and me getting fired

ill be FINE but if i dont get some kind of recognition im gonna smash something. preferably a full tray of food in the dining room. im going feral yall

#SORRY IF THE READMORE DOESNT WORK #IM GOING FERAL WORK HS ME JUST #BARK BARK BARK RJALH GROWN RAHHHH #im gonna copy/paste this and send it to my fucking boss #god i wish

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queen0fm0nsterz · 4 years

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For the ship thing: all combinations between the main five from woy !!

OMG UAGAGAGKASIDSFSKUGHS WHY DIDN’T I ANSWER TO THIS BEFORE!?!?! OMG JHGJESG THANK U SO MUCH ANON THIS QUESTION SAVED MY LIFE????

Disclaimer: I’m a HUGE multishipper and I’m interested in all the ships I’m about to list. However I do have my preferences, so I’m going in order from my least favorite to my absolute fave. Don’t get upset, for this is only my opinion. Ty!!

LETS GO MAD LADS LETS GO!!!!

Bonus 11th ship: I’m really into Something The So and So x Emperor Awesome. I called it Something Awesome. Just putting this.. out there

10) Deathstar (Wander x Dom)

Ah, my two hyperactive spoons. Usually I’m all about the “perfect angel/literal spawn of satan” dynamic, but for some reason they never really clicked for me. Maybe it’s because they didn’t have that many interactions in canon??? But damn, the fanarts are super adorable!! i will die!! (death star shippers yall wanna come in my askbox and talk death star to me?? i would appreciate sm!!)

9) Wandering Eye (Wander x Peepers)

First of all I wanna say, y’all Wandering Eye shippers are perseverant af?? they had like one episode together and it was early first season, it’s been a lot since that. i respect you guys. As for the ship itself, what can I say? I love small boys being in love!!! But once again, nearly no canon interaction... smh

8) Astigmagmatism (Peepers x Dom)

THIS SHIP HAS SO MUCH COMIC POTENTIAL!!! I WILL SCREAM FOREVER I mean the angry smol and bastard tol dynamic?? PLUS theyre both villains???? as in evil fucks??? Who are also rivals?? If there were any canon interactions this ship would DEF be really high on my list but I don’t really have that much to say rn...

7) Zboneak (Hater x Sylvia)

Alright at first I wasn’t really into it but I got my filthy hands on one (1) fanfic and you can bet your ass I was immediatly captivated. The thing I look for in Woy ships is comic potential and these two have SO MUCH POTENTIAL. Plus, “The Date” is one of my favorite episodes ever, so yeah. add that to the list. Let them interact in season 3!!!

6) Death Glare (Peepers x Hater)

I TAGGED THE NO HOMO BECAUSE IM 100% THAT HATER WOULD SAY IT TO PEEPERS AFTER ACCIDENTALLY KISSING HIM IM SO SORRY

Ok so, Death Glare. At first, until late first season, I wasn’t into it at all. I’ve never been a big fan of boss/subordinate (saving a few exceptions). The episode “The Funk” made me do a complete 180° becAUSE HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THEM??? HOLDING HANDS???????? BRUH MY FUCKING HEART HAS BEEN D E S TR O Y E D...................... And while I do love them as a friendship, I can totally see them romantically!!!! also once again the comic potential

5) Sylander (Sylvia x Wander)

THESE TWO WHERE DO I EVEN START. I literally tear up when I think about them? Platonic or not, their love is so pure, innocent, real, it makes my heart do backflips. You have no idea how many times I cried watching them. When they’re together you can’t tell where one begins and the other finishes .... but the reason why I’m so attached to them is because I happen to have a person in my life that... she’s the Sylvia to my Wander (hey @awesome---disaster talkin to you). I understand how it feels to have someone this important in your life. The episode “The Ryder” is particularly hard to wacth (despite it being my number one favorite) for this reason. GOD THE TEARS I CRIED.

4) Sylava (Sylvia x Dom)

What can I say? I stan girls being in love. Plus the CHEMISTRY they had in “The Night Out” omg.... I JUST FDSHFHLGLHSLLIHSBLIHSLI MY HEART EXPLODES WHEN I THINK ABOUT THEM???? I CRY THEY WERE F U CK I NG HOLDING HANDS WHILE RUNNING OUT OF THAT BAR OK DO NOT TOUCH ME. when are we getting the good season 3 sylava content when they make up and become friends again? disney pls

Also, y’all got some good Sylava fics that I could read? Blease?? im starving

3) Skeleton Dance (Wander x Hater)

IS THERE EVEN SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T LOOK AT THIS SHOW FROR LIKE 5 SECONDS AND D O E S N T SHIP THEM???? ITS IMPHASBLE

iM TALKING VALID BOYS HERE!!! The sweet smol/ grumpy tol is my aestethic always and Im all about it. Plus, I mean the dEVELO P MENT THEY HAD IN SEASON TWO!!! The episode that got me to ship them strongly was “The Buddies” and God my love kept growing from there????? ITS UNSTOPPABLE EVERYTIME I SEE THEM MY HEART KILLS ME

Ok I will admit im kinda projecting on Wander a little bc I love Hater but can u blame?? me?? who doesnt love the hate man

2) Dom n Hater (Hater x Dom)

Ok if youve been on my blog for like 1 minute you probably already know that these two are the light of my life, but why?

... well tbh there are a lot of reasons but to be quick it was a gradual process of me going from “Yeah right like THATS ever gonna happen” to slowly going on to “I mean its not even that bad” to “It’s cute? I like it” and then it fucking skyrocketed out of my control and suddently I’m crying like a little bitch during “You’re the Greatest”. I do not know what happened or how. It just did.

I have an ask of someone asking me about them (BLESS U MAN) that inm going to answer eventually so I’m not going into detail but I WILL SAY that the height difference kills me bc it’s not that much but it’s jUST ENOUGH to make it obvious that hes shorter than her and im just oudfgusguaigGUivfehuhaf i live for height differences

1) Black Eye (Sylvia x Peepers)

AND AT LAST I GET TO TALK ABOUT MY BABIES

I’ll be honest with y’all: I was actually gonna put Black Eye in second place at first bc Hater & Dom just own my hear,t but upon lots of thinking I belive this is the best option. because DEVELOPMENT. God I’m all about that sweet DEVELOPMENT we got!!! Wander and Sylvia may be the perfect friendship but Sylvia and Peepers are sure as hell the PERFECT TEAM!!!!!! BRAINS AND MUSCLES!!! TOGETHER!! TO SAVE THEIR IDIOTS!!

I am a BIG fan of enemies to friends to lovers, height differences, villain/hero, smol/tol, angry/chill...... these two were a gift from the Gods. I love them so much.

On an unrelated but kinda related note, I love how all Blackeye shippers just silently agreed that Peepers is a lovestruck nerd who can’t process his feelings and refuses to acknowledge them despite how hardly he’s pinning after Syl?? AND SYL IS NOT OBLIVIOUS AT ALL SHE ACTUALLY KNOWS???? its amazing. 10/10 best ship thank u for ur time.

And thats that! Wow that sure took long didnt it- but its here.

#wander over yonder #woy #what a great way to start the decade!!#woy ships #wander #sylvia #lord hater #commander peepers #lord dominator #death star #wandering eye #astigmagmatism #zboneak #death glare #sylander #sylava #skeleton dance #dom n hater #black eye

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your-localghost · 4 years

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so um who wants to read a 50 page essay of me and my mom's journey through the IT movies?

too bad you're reading it

so like i saw this goddamm clown, and i, also being a clown, said to my mom, also a clown, "lets watch this clown movie lol" and she said yes. and in the like first five minutes we are already awwing and stuff because??? omg georgie and bill are so cu- oh. oh my god. oh this us not what we thought at all-

so enter Losers. instant RELATE i am also a LOSER hellO?? hAh look at these 2 idiots theyre bickering like an old couple an- oh my fucking GOD of course there are bullies. one of them looks like draco malfoy??? guYs did draco malfoy play in this movie we see him like 2 times-

oh my god oh no poor bill he is trying to find his brother :( but alsO BEV IS SO PRETTY??? IM SO GAY???? and yeah i really feel the New Kid On The Block like same man i didnt even get to meet a pretty girl and a buncho losers who will go jump into lakes with me

OH and the lake scene? it bites me in the ass later. i fucking passed it off as a "theyre bonding" moment and then it transforms into a feelings plane and crashes into my house

me: they just keep leaving their bikes

mom: well It takes kids, not bikes

fastforward and??? the fight secene?? the fuckijgn fi Ght SCE ne??? o H M Y GO D

bill was so desperate to find georgie?? richie was so scared he would die??? beN BEING SCARED HIS FRIENDS ARE GONE?

i AM ALL OF THESE FUCKERS

and oh?? bev's dad??? hate the vibe this dude gives to me. like this dude def did more than mentally abuse her and im so glad she beat him up

uhHHH??? WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT EDDIE STANDING UP TO HIS FREAKSHOW OF A MOM??? HOW HE WAS SO MAD????? HE THREW HIS PILLS ON THE GROUND HELLO, HE STRAIGHT UP YEETED HIS FANNY PACK??? MAN the things a gay goes through for his friends

bill's speech on georgie, like, dude just fucking stab me it will hurt way less

fastforward more, the oath??? how scared stan was??? like i ddint really feel any connection with stan other than his actor played my fav character, stan, in ianowt, but uHm? i still love him??? so mUCH???

oOOOH i just realied i didnt talk about mikey

ahem

THE ROCK FIGHT THE FUKING ROCK FIGHT THE ROCK FIGHT OH MY GOD

THESE LOSERS ARE SCARED SHITLESS OF THOSE SHITBAGS BUT THEY SEE ANOTHER LOSER AND THE FIRST THING THEY DO IS THROW R O C K LIKE FUCK YEAH YOU FUCNKY LITTLE MIDDLE SCHOOLERS STAND UP FOR YOUR FELLOW BULLIED I LOVE MIKEY SO M7CH OH MY GOD

so between the 2 movies we realized it wasnt on netflix and went on various websites to watch the 2nd movie, got progressively angrier until i got my laptop and just watched it blindly because we are both blind

okay heres the tea yall

they completely erased bev's character in the 2nd movie. in the first it was emphesized SO MUCH just how brave she was compared to the others. she took the first step, she wasnt afraid to go into the house she fought her abusive dad and in the 2nd movie it was all gone. i really liked the fact that bev wqsnt a damsel in distress until in the 2nd movie she was. while in the 1st movue you forgot that gender roles existed in the 2nd it really seemed like they wrote bev as a "woman" rather than "bev" you dig me??? okay rant over. basically fuck the 2nd movie bev and im not just saying this because her 1st movie actor made me realize i was a lesbian. on to the movie

oh mY GOD HOMOSEXUALS??? WILL THEY HAVE A PART IN THIS STORY OH MY IM SO EX- oh. right. oh hey theres mikey :D

___

me: who's this??

mom: its bill look, its his surname

me:

me: you remember bill's surname but not richie or ben's names?

---

oh theyre all grown up!! oh bevs fighting an abusive man again and uh

___

mom: i have a feeling stans gonna kill himself

me: hah can you imagi

---

STANLEY??? BABEY BOY OH NO???? and also are we gonna let the spider with the baby head thing pass?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DONT REMEMBER ANYTHI-

"this is like a virus its been eating us for 27 years!" YEA MIKEY ITS CALLED PTSD YOU FOUGHT A FUCKING DEMON AND DIDNT SEE A THERAPIST????

also the whole tribe thing seemed really out of story and like it didnt belong there at all? idk maybe its just me but i dont wanna believe that bill's 3rd eye opened after he got drugged by his friend idk

so like hightlights because ive got many rants about the 2nd movie

what the fuck do you mean bev got out of jer specilized hell after ben recited 1 fucking poem are you kidding me are yOU FUCKING KIDDING ARE WE REALLY DOING THE SAVED BY LOVE BULLSHIT AGAIN OH OKAY

OH OKAY FUCK YOU

SO BEV GETS SAVED IN THE FIRST MOVIE AFTER BEN KISSES HER WHEN AT THE TIME HE PRIBABLY THOUGHT LOVE WAS AT ITS PEAK WHEN YOU GAVE YOUR 2ND GRADE CRUSH A BADLY WRITTEN POEM

AND UFKCING HELL IT HAPPENS IN THE 2ND MOVIE TOO??? DOES PENNYWISE JUST THINK "oh these bitches hetero bettet keep them alive" BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS WOULD ALL BE OKAY IF

IF EDDIE LIVED TOO

FUCK I RELATE TO RICHIE SO MUCH??? HIS FIGHT WITH HIS PEERS AND HIS FIGHT WITH HIMSELF OVER HIS YEARS LASTING CRUSH ON EDDIE?? OH MY GOD IT WAS SO OBVIOUS THIS MOTHERFUCKER WAS GAY AND I DIDNT REALIZE UNTIL THE 2ND MOVIE WHEN HE HAS A BREAKDOWN BECAHSE HIS SOULMATE GETS STABBED BY HOMOPHOBIC FORTNITE DANCING CLOWN WHILR HE TRIES TO SAVE HIMA DN THEN FUCKIN G DIES EVEN THOUGHT THESE 2 IDIOTS HAD MORE CHEMISTRY THAN BILL+BEV AND BEN+BEV COMBINED OH MY GOD IM SO MAD THE HETEROS GET TO LIVE BY TRUE LOVE BUT THE GAYS DONT AND UG G H H G G HH "hes dead" NO HE FUCKING IS NOT THIS ISNT FAIR I LOVED EDDIE SO MUCH

well uh now that we got my love for richie on papet um

the lake scene

i cried and i had to watch heteros kiss underwater while wiping my tears. its only cool when percabeth does it guys

the lake scene aside i full on BAWLED LIKE A BABY at the ending because i felt so bad that stan died already and i felt bad that not only was richie facing years if bullying and homophobia anf the loss of his friends it finally is confirmed that richie had a crush on eddie and i

i just cried man? it hurt me so much as it weighed on me how many jokes richie made, how scared he was when he saw the missing paper of himself, his flashbacks to people calling him names, his speech to eddie and that he had to get dragged out because this fucker obviously couldnt let go of his feelings. and between all of that and stan's letter my brain blocks out everything and focuses on one

R + E

oh my god

OH MY GOD NO

NOW i dont really like watching movies. as a writer myself im really critical of everything involving the world building, the characters, the plot and all that jazz and usually the acting is so bad that i dont feel for the characters but THIS ONE. T H I S O N E

my mom turned to me and was SO SHOCKED to see my flat out CRYING because i just dont do that man, and she just asked my what made me cry and i just made a noise like "hhhnnnn" and she nodded and went "richie's love story" and i, still crying, went "hhhnnnn" but in a higher pitch

and im just so mad? that eddie didnt get to live?? we didnt get an "i love you" or even a "im gay" from richie??? we didnt get to see them holding hands and letting go of their trauma together and being gay and happy yet

yet the fucking bad-writer-white-boy and boo-hoo-i-had-no-friends and not-bev get happy endings??? mike can get a happy ending because he is a well thought out character

thESE 3 ON THE OTHER HAND OH MY GOD

bill had to change his endings which really makes me angry because ima writer yada yada

bill has been bullied his uh what whole life? he got told his opinion didnt matter and from what i remember even his parents shut down his ideas and i feel like he should have made the endings how he wanted instead of changing to what the public wanted. thats what he defended as a kid, thats why he was in the losers club unwilling to change, because they were losers. yet he changed.

ben should have stayed fat or at least have abnornal weight because that also defeats his story with bev. it makes it seem that suddenly and magically when ben is hot bev can BEGIN to consider that she loves him.

i already ranted about bev.

mike is decent i guess? i like that he didnt stay with whoever the fuck that was in the first movie because he seemed very aggreasive to me. im glad the chose to research into pennywise because others were too stupid not to (RICH AND EDDIE GET A PASS AGAIN BECAUSE THEY SHARE HALF A BRAINCELL AND I LOVE THEM)

well stan is just tragic

___

me: who the fuck is afraid of spiders why do they keep showing up

mom: its stan?

mom: he brought the hair things and all

me, about to cry: oh m y god

---

so TL;DR: we really liked the first film! the acting, the plot, the creepiness is overall better and you get to relate to a bunch of Losers who get abused by their parents

the 2nd film doesnt exist. i refuse to acknowledge it exist EXCEPT for the ending where stan writes a letter about how he would like to meet hks friends again while BREATHING and richie and eddie carve their initials on a piece of wood and get to be gay.

if your name starts with B your opinion is invalid in the 2nd movie

also can anybody give me fanfics where the fortnite dancing clown doesnt exist and richie goes to therapy to heal from the bullying and once he gets over his homophobia he gays with eddie??? specific i know but im willing to write it if it doesnt exist

#ghost reviews movies #i guess?#it (movie)#it (2017)#it (2019)#spoilers #tw abuse mention #tw homophobia mention #tw suicide mention #this is a #rant #AND A #vent #BECAUSE OF RICHIE AND RICHIE ONLY #long post

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bma-2020 · 4 years

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Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

#out.#illness cw #health cw #food mention #ive been writing this since noon and its now two pm so this is great #i’s usually put this under a read more but... maybe most people dont deserve a read more rn lol #their behavior will keep being awful if its not pointed out to them so #im done im gonna go welt up from hugging my cat and cry for a bit because i feel mean

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