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dannyboy-writes · 4 months

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Just some

okay so this started as something and drifted but im going with it! will prob make a pt2

Meeting the love of your life in the workplace is not the best idea, especially when you have to work together after breaking up.

Especially when the work is undercover as a couple.

“Look, I don’t want this anymore than you do, so let’s just do the work and get it over with,” Natasha said, dropping her bags in the house you were assigned to.

The Jones, married couple in hopes of starting a family.

Everything you and Natasha were not.

“I’ll take the spare room, you can take the main one,” you shrugged, making your way to the room to get settled in.

You unpacked your bags and laid in the hard mattress, kicking off your shoes. Questioning yourself whether the grey shape in the ceiling was mould, or if you were in fact, losing your mind.

It looked like Elvis.

A knock on your door lured you away from the shape, and you groaned, leaning up.

“I’m going to shower,” Natasha told you. “Is that okay, or do you want to go first?”

“Uhm, you go. I’ll check if the equipment is ready for the stake out.”

She nodded and left, as you got fully off the bed, grabbing a pen and notebook and heading to the dining table, to get the inventory.

Some time later Natasha took your place with the notebook as you left for the shower.

You hummed a soft melody as you dried yourself and tied your towel loosely around your waist, putting on a shirt on your still damp torso.

“We should have bought something to eat,” you complained, looking in the empty fridge. “I’m starving.”

Natasha looked towards you, taking in your tousled hair and the droplets of water falling off it and into your shirt, which was already sticking to you, restricting your moves, but also showing off your muscles and figure.

A frown in your eyebrows and a familiar melody coming off you, as you went through the many cabinets and drawers there were. One specific strand of hair, sticking in your forehead bothered her.

A wave of your hand took her off her trance, “Natasha, I asked if you want pizza?”

She blinked twice to recompose, unsure. “Yes, I do. With peppers,” she added.

You muttered a ‘Yeah, I know, and extra cheese,’ before picking your phone up and calling a restaurant.

“So, how’s inventory going?” You asked her.

She hummed, “Rather boring…” And she moved forward to you, sticking her hand in your face, moving a loose strand of hair out of the way.

She earned an eyebrow raise and your face, stoic.

“It was bothering me, sorry.”

You chuckled. “Bothering you, huh. Spend a lot of time checking my hair lately?”

Her face turned as red as her hair, definitely not expecting that reaction. “Just some of it,” she decided.

You ate in almost deafening silence, only humming in delight, and both of you decided an early night’s sleep would be good for the tension built in the room.

You weren’t sure if it was the mattress’ rock resemblance, or Elvis gazing at you from above, or Natasha’s words, but rest did not come easy.

Shifting from one side to the other, finding no cavity in the surface. The cover was too thick, and the fan too loud and timid in its cooling function.

The window showed just enough light that you could make the outlines of the furniture in the room, and you followed carefully and almost with perfect precision each and every angle.

To your annoyance, the bedside clock glowed too much in the dark. Its led lighting the room red. A ’2:43’ burning your eyelids.

Just some of it.

And her calloused fingers tracing your forehead.

You decided it was definitely the fan’s loud whirring, and turned over, hoping to rest.

You rose with the sun the next day, shining warmly across the room, hitting your face with just a little too much light.

You could hear Natasha cleaning up in the kitchen and so you made your way there, stopping to clean your face quickly in the bathroom.

“Morning,” she told you. “There’s fresh coffee.” She pointed with her head towards the machine, and you nodded.

She had been training.

Maybe even gone for a run in town, you weren’t sure.

Her hair had been neatly tied in a braid, before it disarmed with the movement, and you could still see the waves it had formed. You could still remember the way it fell after a long day, or a mission.

“Sleep any good,” she asked you, blinking you out of your trance.

“Not really.” You poured some coffee into a mug and took a sip. “You?”

“Hm, some. The mattress could be better.”

You laughed, “You should try mine, it almost feels like the one in Bagdad.”

She laughed too. “I take it back, my mattress is alright.”

You hummed, drinking some more coffee. “Did you go for a run?”

“Oh, yeah. Town’s apparently dead at 7, it was peaceful.” She told you, “Why?”

“No nothing, your hair is– Well it looks like you ran.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Spend a lot of time looking at my hair?” She teased.

You choked on your coffee, your face heating up.

“Uhm, some of it, I guess.”

She grinned at you, her eyebrow still up high. But with a softness still.

Part II

#natasha romanoff imagine #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #marvel imagine #black widow imagine #black widow x reader

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blueberryarchive · 16 days

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thoughts on 80's slasher!jk...♡ (18+)

more here

(because i can't stop thinking about him)

There was something so cruel and fun about being part of a sleepover. The sweet aroma of vanilla and nail polish compacted in the room covered in colors. The muffled laughter of 2 in the morning, Steph's mother sleeping on the other side of the wall where the Billy Joel poster is. The yellowish silhouettes move slowly as they write on small pieces of paper, concentration makes them frown, smile flirtatiously at the ceiling.

“Can it be any guy?” Bobby Joe asks, tossing the piece of paper in the corner to grab another one, Steph rolls her eyes knowing full well why she would ask such a question.

If Bobby Joe was talking about any guy there would be no problem but the three girls, including you, knew perfectly well that sweet BJ wanted to put the philosophy professor's name in big italics.

“We're not going to call Mr. Hogg, Bobby Joe. I don’t want to hear him pull his old and saggy out just because I said the word ‘wet.’”

“I thought this was a game.”

“Exactly, it's a game. I don’t want to develop an infatuation with men over forty-five.” Liss attacked folding her game papers into four.

Your fingers fidgeted on the piece of paper on your knee. You couldn't write your boyfriend's name, obviously, it wouldn't be as fun since Jimin knows your friends' voices and it wouldn't be as fun to see one of your friends flirt with Jimin on the phone.

“Come on, Boo. Don't you know another man besides Jimin? Steph laughed. Bobby Joe and Liss put the names inside Elmo's mug.

No, you wanted to answer. But what's so fun about that. Now that you think about it, you should have brought your Monopoly or the old Ouija that your brother hides. It wasn't a good thing to ever leave the games to Steph.

Liss sat her face on your shoulder looking at the yellow paper, empty, desperately empty. You can put the name of someone who isn't in college, she whispered to you, taking pity on your sorry male record. And that's what you did, you chose your neighbor, only two people know how long you and Cooper haven't seen each other: God and your mom. And that was perfect, he wouldn't know your voice if you called him to ask him what his favorite position was.

Dan Cooper, the “o”s looked like long zeros and the ink pooled at the edges, demonstrating your hesitation in looking for another man in your life you wanted to call for a prank. But it was too late, Steph took the paper and crumpled it before you finished the R.

“Who dares to call first?” Liss held the cup, turning the papers over with a spoon.

Bobby Joe sighed looking into the darkness of the room. You noticed her nervousness, perhaps regretful.

“I want to change the last name…”

“Don't be a pussy, BJ.” It gushed from your lips, the Malibu bubbling in your throat with the taste of the Caribbean islands and the triple cheese pizza you had for dinner. None of the three expected to hear your babbling so early and in so few milliliters of rum.

“Well, you start, take a piece of paper.” You heard her mumble something about putting your stepfather's name on the cup, you ignored her as you took the paper that first fell on the carpet.

“Wait, let me turn on the camera.” Liss got up taking the camcorder that her father gave her for her new career in communication. Now the lens focused on the college antics of your group of friends and, occasionally, the artsy pornos that she and her boyfriend tried to sell on college corners.

Of the ten papers, the one you took seemed to be folded with the delicacy of origami. You unfolded until you undid the little cube and found a name that you have rarely heard or even thought about.

“Jungkook Jeon?” You feared you had said the name wrong but the looks between your friends were not looking for a good pronunciation but rather who dared, in fact, who even thought of trying to flirt with such a specimen.

Steph let out a squeal as she almost dropped her drink on her favorite sweater.

“God, Liss surely wrote that.”

"Why me?"

“You've always liked weird men.”

“You like octogenarians, you bitch.”

“Who the fuck is Jungkook?” You were starting to get desperate and the tiny flickering light from the camera was starting to feel like needles in your pores.

Steph takes another drink before proceeding to explain.

“He's a guy in econ class, a complete loser. He doesn't look anyone in the eye and walks around like he wants the earth to swallow him all the time."

“And why do y'all put it in the pile?” If you were going to call someone, it had to at least be worth it.

Bobby Joe and Liss look into each other's eyes and smile knowingly. BJ's bubblegum-pink coated index fingers come together and then spread alongside her smile.

“Several of the guys on the team have seen him in the showers.”

“I don't believe any of the men on the football team, that's what they said about Marc and he had a micro dick.” Steph looked pointedly at the camera. “Plus he doesn't even get up from the stands, I've never seen him play.”

“Jimin started calling him Junghood.” BJ played with her gum, twirling it around on her finger.

Jimin had never mentioned the guy to you.

“Junghood?”

“He likes to play with his bow and arrow in his free hours, like a Robin Hood.” Liss looked for another light, she wanted tried to see every line that formed on your forehead.

“The name is so stupid…no offense.” Steph finished her drink and handed you the heavy book.

You grabbed the phone directory and headed to J. The last name was easy to find and the dial easy to rotate, until your nerves choked you listening to the buzzing on the other end of the line. You wished he didn't answer, but you were also intrigued by the description. How is it that one of the players on the football team, who was supposedly well-hung and caught the attention of your little elite, was so relevant? And why didn't you know about him?

Your friends didn't focus on dragging unfortunate people through the mud, that's a high school girl thing. In college it was a matter of continuing to climb the ladder, maybe marrying a stockbroker from New York or becoming an intern at Vogue just so you could rub it in other people's faces.

And unfortunately for you, it was a Saturday night and of course this Jungkook guy would take the call. ‘I Can’t Quit You, Baby’ reverberated softly in the room, his breathing hitched and heavy. Had you woken him up? Suddenly, you were aware of all your senses, of the sense of the cassette filling up with frames of your stupid face trying to do a function as human and basic as talking, of the two shots running through your system. But oh…

"Hello?" His voice was raspy, sweet, a little nasal and whiny.

BJ squeezed your chin shaking it from side to side, enjoying your cowardice. Your face was toasted with a simple word.

“Jungkook?” You swallowed, your finger curling around the phone's pink cord.

"Who is it?" Complainant moved between the sheets until he was silent. “Fuck, it's two in the morning. Is this another one of the evangelical whores trying to sell me Bibles? I already told you what I would do to y'all if you called me again.”

And the threat sounded like a foreign promise that you wish you had heard alone. You looked at Steph who was drawing a cock next to his name, her eyes closed sensually as she stuck her tongue out.

“I just heard a rumor a couple of days ago and, you know, I haven't been able to sleep thinking about it being true.” Your voice turned to molasses, your eyebrows curled and your shoulders tensed in acted innocence.

“No, I don't sell pot. Is that it, princess?”

“Is it true that you have a big dick?” Steph, Liss and BJ were shocked. You stole the Malibu from one of them, you didn't even have the courage to talk to Jimin like that when you two were alone.

The girls ran as quietly as possible out of the room and down the stairs, opening the other phone to listen to Jungkook. But it was useless, since the person questioned did not respond. The camera already forgotten on the bed, you kneeling on the carpet hugging Liss's pink Care Bear between your legs.

A small laugh, the click of a lighter, a drag.

"What?" You could hear him reposition himself in his pillows. " You would like to know how big the weirdo in your class is, you fucking slut.”

No, ew.

“Yes, I say, if it is true.”

“How much would you like to know, mm?”

This wasn't the answer you were looking for, you thought maybe he would hesitate on your question or just hang up out of embarrassment. Maybe you should have stopped five more minutes and brought Clue or Guess Who? that was in your closet.

You thought about every face in the college hallways, about your boyfriend's friends, and about those you met at the mall or behind the movie theater on Sundays. None matched his voice.

“I told you I haven't been able to sleep for two nights, isn't that enough?”

“Maybe with a proper fuck you would relax, don't you think?”

You swallowed, letting your eyelids droop. Your hand approached the camera and you turned it to the wall so it could record its own reflection in the mirror.

“Can't talk, love? I thought you were the one who was going to play a lil' prank on me and leave me hard as a log on the other end of the line. What happened, do you really want me to crash this dick into your pretty pussy?” His laugh was mocking, he knew what he was saying and how he said it: with his hisses, deep tones; all through the smoke of an improvised cigarette in the late night.

You squeezed the bear between your legs and sighed.

“I've never been so…”

"Dirty? Badly spoken? Pleb?"

“So direct.”

“Isn't it so fucking good, though? Being able to say out loud that you think about my cock at night” The bass solo repeated itself like an angelic tune intertwined with his words.

It was hard to follow the joke when your panties started sticking to your lips with every word that came out of his mouth. Your friends had abandoned you so theycould listen downstairs and in the darkness of the room you could only imagine a headless body stretching your legs up to your shoulders, your pussy trying to make room to choke on the throbbing veins of an unknown dick.

“Do you want to touch yourself?” His question sounded like a command and your hips leaned forward, rubbing against the rough carpet.

"No."

"Ya' sure? Because just with your absence of words you have me squeezing my base. Can you imagine if you could take it all like a champ? I know whores like you, they dare to take on a whole team if they feel like it.”

His sly laugh was the last thing you could hear before hanging up the phone. You rose from the carpet searching for the cassette in Liss's camcorder, your thin fingers trembling as you destroyed the evidence of your pusillanimity and lust.

The three girls walked slowly to the room, all grouped on the bed like judges of the case. Looking for an explanation in your features but there was only one order.

“Nobody talk to Jimin about this, okay?”

The judges looked at each other, nodded in unison. Apparently bedtime approached earlier than expected and you were grateful that the alcohol had knocked out your friends so quickly.

You ran to the bathroom with the memory of his voice still fresh. The humidity still warm between your legs, you held onto the sink while you held back your moans, your forehead pressed against the mirror and your drool falling into the drain with the voracious hunger that only imagination can give.

#jk.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡#❗slasher! jk thoughts #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts smut #jungkook smut #bts #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagine #bts jungkook #jungkook x oc #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you

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clearexpertarcade · 5 months

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matt weekends were filled with partying and beer he was in love with the college nightlife but Matt was steadily increasing his waistline without him realizing it I mean all that beer and getting high which would lead to a pig out at the end of the night Lucky for Matt the first 5 Ibs he gained went straight to his ass only making matt hotter.

Matt had managed to gain a respectable 15 pounds, covering his formerly shredded abs with a bit of a belly but no one would have called him fat or probably even noticed

Matt's love of burgers and pastries was steadily increasing his waistline without him realising it the ex-jock’s belly grew steadily each day he was growing inch by inch how could he not when Matt's diet slowly turned into one of beer, pizza, pasta, McDonald’s, Dunkin’ Donuts, and burritos. And all the partying Matt did Left him with little time to work out not that he gave it much thought

Matt said to his roommate ''am getting pizza you want anything''

Roommate “Shouldn’t you be laying off the fast food?”

Mate “Sure beats having to make my own dinner”

The roommate walked over to Matt lifted his shirt reached out and gave Matt soft layer of extra pudge a squeeze

Roommate “Maybe you ought to think about laying off the pizza a bit.”

Matt lowered his shirt “ Yes, fine Whatever Um, yeah, I’ll take 2 large meat lovers with extra cheese and the dessert cookie cake …. You want anything''

Roommate ''“That’s all for you?”

Matt “Yeah bro what do you want?”

Roommate '' am good''

Mate '' oh and a bottle of diet coke''

Roomate “Haha you enjoyed yourself.''

and enjoy himself he did Matt quite happily and stuffed himself with pizza lifting piece by piece, watching the multitude of cheeses stretch away from the rest of the pizza. He used his finger to sever the excess and toss it back into his mouth.

Matt would be meandering about the dorm room with his bare beer belly on for show. Matt would belch and rub his way around the room. Matt's roommate walked up to him and patted his belly which was starting to droop a little over the elastic waistband “Careful buddy, you’re gonna get fat.” Matt shrugged, taking another sip of his beer “I’ll still hit the gym and run, you know? It will all balance out in the end.”

Matt didn't listen to his roommate's warning and continued pigged out in every sense of the word and his belly grew wider and wider, drooping lower and lower, his once flat chest was developing into a heavy pair of moobs.

Matt kept convincing himself that his 36" pants still fit he’d suck in his growing belly and grunt and groan “Damn it,” he grunted, attempting to get the button in his jeans to reach the hole. Matt tried buttoning them but they wouldn’t close ''Just suck in. Just suck it in''. These fit the last time Matt wore them.

Matt tossed himself against his bed pushing himself onto the bed. Sure enough, he managed to get the ends to meet and do up his pants. Sitting up was a little uncomfortable, but at least his pants were fastened.

Later that night Matt and his roommate kicked back watched TV down some beers and got high. Time melted away as they talked and In what seemed like no time at all, Matt had downed two beers The button of his shorts groaned audibly but didn’t give. As Matt leaned forward to reach for his third beer but suddenly he heard the button on his shorts groan. There was a pinch at his waist, then a loud snap, and the pressure dissipated immediately from his waist as his button went flying across the room. His zipper gave under the pressure of his surging belly and jiggled wildly on his lap, jutting forward even farther than it had before, leaving his belly completely exposed, pale, flabby, and jiggly right before his roommate's eyes.

“You’ve gotten fat, man Looks like you could use some new shorts I can't believe you just busted out your pants. You need to lay off the burgers and beer, big guy.''

“Man,” Matt gave his belly a jiggle, “I am getting’ fuckin’ fat dude. I need to hit the gym. I didn’t notice how big this puppy was getting!”

Matt stood shirtless in front of his 3-sided mirror with his shorts busted open and gave his belly a squeeze and grabbed a handful of his flesh. He gasped and he felt his fingers press deeply into his soft stomach. It felt like bread dough being kneaded between his fingers. It was then that Matt realized that the Fat Gut he saw looking in the mirror was his. He screamed aloud in shock when he realized that he was fat.

#fat belly #fatboy #letgo #fat #fatboystory #fatty #pop #exjock #fat guy

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italiansteebie · 1 year

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whatever you do DONT think about eddie leading steve on bc he thinks he's still a king steve branded fuck head and is waiting for the ball to drop.

don't think about steve letting him host hellfire in his basement and accidentally overhearing all of them talking shit, even eddie, and it coming out that "i only started talking to him because the little sheepies told me who cool he is. do i believe them?" eddie scoffs. "of course not. he's still a douche but hey. if he wants us here then i can kiss and play pretend." and yeah. eddie can be mean. it's a result of bullies and bad fathers, a defense mechanism.

steve tries to not let it show when he continues down the stairs with the tray of cookies in his hands, soft smile on his face, ignoring the less than nice laughing at his expense.

eddie notices the odd look on steve's face, the way his head hangs when he trudges back up the stairs, not sitting on the couch like he usually does. and he feels a pang in his chest. is that guilt? what does he have to be guilty about?

the others are watching him, weary smiles on their faces. "do you think he heard us?" jeff asks tentatively. eddie scoffs once more, "so what if he did? it's what he deserves."

and there's that pang in his chest again.

---

it's halfway through the campaign when eddie calls a break and goes up stairs to get some drinks for everyone.

he's about to walk into the kitchen when he hears a voice, and quiet sniffles.

"i thought i changed, robs. i- i try so hard, and it just. im not my dad, i never want to be him. why can't i-" eddie listens as steve cries, hearing... robin buckley of all people float from the receiver. "steve, if he can't appreciate you, fuck him. you've tried to apologize and make it up, if he can't see that then he's just an asshole."

"no. he's right. i deserve it. god, im so stupid! i can't believe i thought he actually liked me. fuck! who would?" he hears a heavy sigh.

"good night rob. sorry for that. thanks- uh. thanks for talking." and the phone is hung up.

eddie rounds the corner finally to see steve furiously wiping away the tears that continue to roll down his face. steve's head whips up at the sound of eddie's feet, he sniffles hard, forcing a smile on his face. "h-hey eddie! uh, sorry. allergies... yknow." he clumsily points to his face. he shrugs, "uh. did you- did you need anything? or. oh! uh. i ordered pizza. it should um, be here soon... i just got cheese..."

eddie stares. "uh. yeah. that's fine. i was just getting some drinks." he said, awkward and stuttering.

"oh! i bought you guys some coke, i put 'em in the fridge so they'd be cold." eddie's still staring as steve walks to the refrigerator and pulls out coke, sprite, and even sunkist. he'd only mentioned that it was his favorite once, but steve. steve had remembered, and there is was.

"thanks." eddie said, taking the cases down stairs, reeling over the interaction that had accidentally knocked an epiphany into his head.

he set the soda on the table grabbing the attention of the club members. "i think i fucked up. i think steve... is a nice guy...?" it's silent for a moment.

"he is pretty cool. i mean. not even your mom would let us play in her basement, gare." it's jeff who speaks up, and this makes eddie's head drop, and hang low.

"we fucked up."

now with a part 2

#steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #robin buckley #best friend robin #jeff stranger things #gareth emerson #gareth stranger things #pre steddie #enimes to lovers #steddie angst #steve harrington angst #steve is trying to be a better person #steddie ficlet #hellfire club #stranger things hellfire club #stranger things ficlet #best friend robin buckley

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gilverrwrites · 24 days

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Hello could you please do some captain boomerang headcanon fluff, I don’t see enough of it on here.

AN: I can and I will. Good fluffy vibes only today, however, if you would like a reality check, please watch the video linked at the end.

Rating: General (however, wanting for swearing)

Please remember: Everything you're worried about, is going to turn out ok.

Ko-Fi || Masterlist || Request Info

He’s not much for texting, much prefers sending voice notes. These can range anywhere from simple good night/good morning notes, the longest, most pointless, probably drunken rambles, jokes he stole came up with, or professions of love.

When he texts, it’s always in 90s/early 00s style and full of emojis that don’t quite mean what he thinks they do.

Cn’t w8 2 c 👀 u 🫵l8r 👄❣️🪃 X 🌫️ Gud nite mu 🫥 u4e lol 😜 🩵🪃 xXx RUOK 4 d8 l8r??? 🌷💦 CUL ❤️‍🔥🪃 X

Has your name saved in his phone as the most ridiculous nickname you can think of, probably also with a bunch of emojis.

Dependant on your personality, petnames would include a few of the following: Darl’, darlin’, babs, babes, baby (pronounced bah-bee), sweets, hon, peachy, lovey, peanut, or doll.

Whatever your least favourite is, he will use the most cause he loves winding you up.

Swears at you, a lot. But its affectionate.

He’s not used to people doing things for him, so he is massively grateful when you do like menial domestic labour for him.

You sewed up the hole in my jacket? You’re THE best, I can’t believe you would do that for me. You did my laundry? WTF? You didn’t have to do that (he’s been wearing the same unwashed boxers for 2 weeks, someone had to) how can I ever repay you babes? You cooked for me? (It’s literally a pot-noodle) You’re an angel, I’m not welling up, shut it.

He’s really good at like, enhancing 'easy' food. He’ll add egg and chives and stuff to his packet noodles, makes the best cheese and vegemite toasty, knows just how much oil and extra cheese to add to a frozen pizza, and has mastered box mix cupcakes. His favourite is chocolate.

Uses a 5 in 1 shower gel, if and when he showers, and you cannot tell me he doesn’t blast lynx africa and/or paco rabanne 1 million so he smells woody and spicy.

However, if you have fancy smelly products of you’re own, he will use them. Gonna treat himself with a good scrub and some large helpings of your shampoo and conditioner (this one’s got multiple products for their hair, posho!)

Doesn’t matter if you use products intended for a specific skin/hair type, it’s getting used.

As a nice bonus he likes doing it cause it means your smell lingers on him when you’re not together.

Won’t admit it but he also really likes it if you burn candles and/or incense.

If you’re close enough in size, he will steal your clothes. Especially socks cause he is always wearing holes into his own.

Gets all gooey and excited when you wear his clothes, especially if you’re small enough that they look oversized, and are visibly his.

If you’re inclined to wear flowy summer dresses, he’ll go feral. Also, a big fan of linen shirts/blouses and short shorts.

When he’s dressed causal he lives in shorts and filp-flops, even in the midst of winter. Or if he’s not leaving the house he’ll just wear his boxer shorts.

Is gone for long periods of time (prison, hiding out etc) so is very clingy when you’re back together, and doesn’t really have boundaries.

Will walk in on you in the bath shower to use the toilet, or to just sit and talk to you. If you ask him nicely, he will wash your hair. Might not do a good job, but he will do it. Has his arms wrapped around your waist at all times while you’re trying to do chores or are out shopping. If he wakes before you (a rare occurrence) he will just lay on his side, watching you sleep. Might get impatient and attempt to subtly wake you by gently brushing your side or nose, or gently shaking your body.

Normally sleeps way into the day, and snores, loudly. Often wakes with a hangover. And will practically beg you to make him a bacon an egg.

Loves almost any and all brekkie food, bacon, egg, hash browns, pancakes, you name it.

Is not a cuddly sleeper. Like he can fall asleep cuddling, but he will start rolling around, splaying his arms out, kicking his legs. Huge bed hog.

Says his favourite films are action, gangster, or like bro style comedies. Think like: Road House, Indian Jones, Kill Bill, The Gentleman, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, The Hang Over.

If you put on a horror, drama, or rom com, he will not watch it with you.

But he will find things to do in the general vicinity. Or straight up do the dad thing of like standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed. If he’s not sat with you, he’s technically not watching it.

So like, which one is actually her dad? They don’t tell you but the writ- No no no, don’t tell me, I’ll figure it out, Don’t go in the basement, there’s never anything good in the basement, oh she’s only bloody gone and went in the basement! But… Barbie doesn’t love Ken. I’m not cryin, I just got allergies, shut up an’ watch your dumb girly film.

Has a stolen tattoo gun,wants to get matching tattoos, has pro for everyone of your cons. Ideally, he just wants names/initials in hearts, but will settle for more symbolic tattoos. Like a boomerang to represent him for you, and something similar for you.

Keeping any gift you’ve ever given him for life.

I made you a friends ship braclet. Eh, ya know its not my normal kinda jewellery. You don’t ha- No, fuck off, I’m gonna wear it forever.

Would still love you if you were a worm. Hasn’t the foggiest what he would do with you. But he would love you.

Obviously gonna teach you how to use a boomerang. Even if you already know, he’s gonna show you the right way. Gotta make sure his bab is protected. (Don’t tell him that you find them impractical and are unlikely to ever use one when in need, he will sulk.)

Aforementioned video.

#captain boomerang x reader #captain boomerang imagine #captain boomerang hcs #digger harkness x reader #george digger harness x reader #gilverrwrites

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aalyssah · 4 months

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Still My Beautiful Girl

Pairing: Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Pregnant!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Body Shaming, Cursing, Fluff, and Mentions of Killing.

Word Count: 2,279

Summary: Bucky's guards begin to gossip about your stretch marks, but Bucky assures you that they're beautiful, and shows his guards to keep your name out their mouths.

A/N: I got inspired by a prompt I saw in a prompt generator about stretch marks, so here's this story. Hope You Enjoy!

You woke up to the sound of something being knocked over, following a muffled curse word.

You groaned as you turned, your sore, heavy body aching. Just then, Bucky came into view, hair wet, and only in a towel.

When he saw you attempting to get up, he quickly rushed over to your side to help. "Woah, slow down, doll. Let me help you." You let Bucky help you sit up, with him making sure you had a lot of pillows on your back.

"Mmm, you smell nice, where are you going?" You asked him, eyes closing at the fresh smell of his clean body. "Got a meeting for a possible trade." Your mouth turned into a small pout, sadness taking over your features.

Bucky groaned, throwing his head back. "Awe, don't look at me like that! It's not gonna take long, only an hour or 2. I promise." Bucky lastly said, leaning down and kissing your forehead.

He then leaned down to your 8 month pregnant stomach and pressed another soft kiss to it as well. "Daddy will be home soon, princess." You giggled as Bucky talked to your belly.

Over the last couple of months, Bucky started talking to your bump. It started late at night when he would come back home from a meeting or a gruesome fight.

He would say things like; "I can't wait until you get brought into this world. I'm gonna spoil you so much." And "How's your day been? You haven't been giving Mama any trouble, have you?" And the baby kicked, almost as if she was responding to him.

That really got the Mafia boss crying, holding you until you fell asleep.

Your thoughts were ripped apart from you when Bucky came into your vision, dressed up in a black suit. He had your favorite smoothie, peanuts, and a small yogurt in hand.

"This is for when you get thirsty, when you want something salty, and something sweet, but healthy, so you shouldn't need to get up for anything." Once again, you giggled at his words.

Every single time Bucky leaves the house, even if it’s for 2 minutes, he gets you snacks that can check off all your needs while he's gone just so you won't get.

(You still do, but he doesn't need to know that.)

Bucky gave you a serious look and kissed your lips. "I'll be back soon, I love you." You repeated it, back, feeling a little bit sleepy. Bucky noticed and helped you lay back some, making sure you were tucked in, and left for his meeting.

While he was gone and you were asleep, you had a weird dream. For some odd reason, you were dreaming about Pizza. Pizza Hut to be exact.

The thought of the red sauce, with nice pepperoni, and warm cheese had your mouth watering in your dream.

When you woke up, you instantly thought of it, ignoring the snacks that were on the nightstand and slowly got up.

You held your bump, letting out a breath. "Jesus Becca, you're gonna take mommy's back out." You muttered to yourself as you back started hurting.

Bucky doesn't know it yet, but you plan on naming your little girl Rebecca, after his sister that died. As soon as you found out it was a girl her name popped in your head.

You made your way downstairs, and just as you hit the corner, maids were there, cleaning the living room. "Mrs. Barnes, you should be up right now!" One of the maids named Mary called out.

She rushed to your side, guiding you to the couch. "Oh Mary, you're starting to sound like Bucky." You joked, but a smile didn't come to her face.

"What are you doing down here? If you needed anything, you could've just called me and I would've came upstairs." You smiled at her worried tone. "I'm actually really craving pizza right now." Mary laughed, shaking her head.

This isn't the first time you've craved a pizza after having a dream. "I'll order it, Mrs. Barnes." She already knew what you wanted and where you wanted it from, so it was only a matter of time until your well deserved meal came.

You watched TV in the living room until a knock at the door came. You got up fast, excited for your cheesy goodness.

You opened the door and there the pizza man was, standing almost 6 feet away from the door due to the guards armed with guns. You walked over to the man with a smile. "Y/n?" You nodded your head.

The pizza man gave you the pizza. "Thank you, here's the tip." $20 tip? The pizza man almost cried in happiness.

You smiled at him and went back in the house, ready to eat, but as you closed the door, the sound guards talking caught your attention.

"My god, did you see Barnes' girl? Her stomach is huge." Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Why were they talking about your stomach? "I mean, she is pregnant, but those stretch marks are ugly." You looked at the bottom of your stomach and saw stretch marks.

A frown came upon your lips, as you rubbed them. "They're not that bad, are they?" You questioned yourself. You started to overthink about everything. Has Bucky always felt this way about them?

You don't know why, but you felt tears come to your eyes. "Usually stretch marks are fine, but why do they look like that? Her body is so chubby." One of the guards pointed out.

"It's probably because she's eating so damn much." Another one added. The whole group began laughing, still making faint comments about your stomach.

The tears finally fell, a sob racking from your throat. Mary came around the corner at the sound of your cries, concern laced on her face. "Mrs, Barnes, what's wrong, why are you crying?" She grabbed the pizza box, putting it down on the coffee table, and led you to the couch.

"Alright, calm down. What happened?" You wiped your tears, blaming your stupid hormones for all the crying. "The guards, they were talking about me. They were saying how big my stomach was, and that my stretch marks are ugly." You finished the sentence with a small cry.

Mary looked worried, not knowing what to say or do. This is too much stress on you. "Okay, shhh, it's okay, stop crying, please." Mary hugged you, swaying you side to side.

She was a sweet woman, in her mid 30s. You even looked up to her as a second Mom.

Once your cries calmed down, she let you go. "Please don't tell Bucky about this. He'll go crazy." Mary looked unsure. She didn't want to lie to you, but she has to tell Bucky. "Okay, I won't." You gave her a grateful smile and then went upstairs.

Even though Mary told you she wasn't gonna tell Bucky a thing about what just happened, she knew what had to be done.

Bucky opened the door, walking in with a huge smile on his face. He couldn't wait to tell you the news about the trade.

As he walked near the stairs, Mary came out of nowhere with a weird look on her face. "Mr. Barnes, may I speak with you?" Bucky was taken back slightly at the question, but agreed.

Mary went to the kitchen, looking around to make sure no one else was near. "What's going on, Mary? Did something happen today?" Bucky asked, voice getting low.

Mary looked nervous as she spoke. "Actually, yes. Today Mrs. Barnes wanted pizza, so I ordered it for her, but when she went to go get it, she said the guards were talking about her. Apparently, they were talking about her stretch marks and it made her cry."

Bucky could feel himself get angrier at every word that came out of Mary's mouth.

Did he just hear that right?

His guards, the men who are supposed to protect his family, are body shaming, and making his wife cry? He's not gonna let that slide.

Mary saw how his eyes darkened and quickly tried reasoning with him. "Mr. Barnes, she made me promise her not to tell you, please don't do anything bad!" Bucky stared at Mary, not saying anything, but she knew that meant he was gonna do the opposite.

Bucky could feel all his anger rise inside him at the words Mary said. All he heard was 'guards talking about stretch marks' and 'making you cry.'

Bucky didn't say a word as he made his way upstairs to your shared room. He opened the door and saw you standing in front of the mirror, looking at your belly, touching your stretch marks.

He cursed under his breath, walking over behind you. "Doll, I need you to come with me." You jumped at his deep voice in your ear, spinning around to look at him.

"H-Hey, Buck, didn't know you'd be home so early." Bucky ignored you, grabbing your wrist and dragging you down the steps, with slow movements, of course.

"Bucky, where are you taking me? Baby?" You kept asking, but Bucky ignored you. He kept walking down the stairs until y'all reached the living room and put you in front of the window.

"Stand here and watch." He opened it, walking down the expensive looking driveway that was littered in beautiful flowers that you planted.

You looked confused as to why he was out there. "Bucky, what are you doing?" You asked him through the window. "Who said it?" He asked, causing the men to look puzzled as well.

What was he talking about? "Said what, Buck?" You asked him. Bucky looked at you and that's when you saw it. His eyes were dark, the sparkle he usually has in them now gone.

“Who was talking about my wife's stretch marks?" Your eyes grew wide, realizing what this is about. Mary most definitely told him about everything.

It was silent as his men looked scared, knowing everyone was responsible for the jokes. Bucky's tongue poked through his cheek, shaking his head in acceptance that no one was gonna speak.

“So nobody wants to talk, huh?" Again, it was quiet until Bucky's hand reached down to his waist. You didn't have enough time to react as he pulled his gun out, shooting the nearest guard. He fell to the floor, the other men letting out a terrified scream.

Bucky whipped around, looking at all his scared men. "Anyone wanna speak now? Tell me, who was making fun of my wife!" He demanded.

Your face was covered in shock, at the scene in front of you. "Bucky, stop! Why are you killing them?!" You yelled out the window. All you could do was talk. You wouldn’t dare go out there with him, especially with what he's doing.

“Because they made you cry and nobody makes you cry.” You sighed, knowing you can’t stop him. All you can do is watch. “Speak up, now!” Another shot rang through the air as another one of Bucky’s men fell to his death.

His men began crying like babies, like actually babies, tears spilling from their eyes as they begged. “Mr. Barnes, Sir, please stop, we didn’t-” Bucky didn't let the man finish as he shot him. “Are you trying to lie to me right now, huh?” He screamed at the dead man’s body.

Bucky began going on a rampage, shooting all the men, no matter if they said anything about you, or not.

He was just pissed that they were lying to him because he knows you wouldn’t just be crying over nothing like that. Especially after he caught you looking at yourself in the mirror.

“You’re all a bunch of cowards! Making fun of my wife when she’s carrying my baby. Now tell me, who was talking about her!” Bucky screamed, veins almost popping out his head.

It was then when half of his men were on the ground, bleeding out their heads when the last man spoke up. “It was me sir! A-All I said was her stretch marks were u-ugly and that-”

The man didn’t say another word after ‘ugly’ due to Bucky shooting him. He looked down at the man, even going for the over kill, shooting his body repeatedly.

He finally felt like the man was dead enough as got up, running a hand through his now disheveled hair.

He turned to the door and saw the group of maids with the look of horror on their faces. “One of y’all call Steve or Sam to clean this shit up, and get me new guards!” He ordered the maids.

Bucky then looked at you, his whole body softening at the sight of you. He slowly walked over to you, holding his hand out. “C’mere, doll, let’s go upstairs.” You hesitantly took his hand, letting him guide you back upstairs and into your shared room.

He walked you over to the mirror, gently pulling the shirt that was getting too small for your stomach, from over your head, leaving you in nothing.

He stood behind you, cupping your huge bump, his soft hands gliding across your marks. “Doll.” He called, but you avoided his eyes. “Baby, look at me.” He repeated, causing you to finally look at him.

"No matter how many stretch marks you have, or how big they are, you're still my beautiful girl, okay?" You nodded your head, wiping the tears that threatened to fall.

After your daughter was born, the new guards were made sure to NEVER talk about your body, no matter how it looked.

#bucky barnes #mafia!bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x pregnant reader #bucky barnes x reader #mafia!bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes one shot #marvel fluff

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kouchabu-archive · 9 months

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Hajime Shino 4☆ Feature Scout 2

Title: President Grass and Pizza

Writer: Suika

Season: Summer

NOTE: I EXPLICITLY PROHIBIT USAGE OF ANY PART OF MY TRANSLATIONS ON ANYTHING THAT RELATES TO AI.

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Rinne: (Hehe, today’s my lucky day!)

(Who knew I'd bag a big win in the slot machines today! Ain't that enough to make up for my losses this month?)

(I thought that of course I'd come home and celebrate, but I pro'lly got carried away and bought too many ingredients.)

(Well, not that I need to worry about leftovers when Niki's right there.)

(I gotta get back quick and let Niki—… Hm? That guy over there is…)

Hajime Shino-kun from Ra*bits, ain't it?

Hajime: Amagi-senpai? Hello~

Rinne: He~ya. Thrillin' to know that you remember this li'l ol' me's name.

So, what're ya hidin’ in the grass for? Up to somethin’ sneaky?

Are you buryin’ treasure or somethin'? Ya look like a little puppy digging like that~

Hajime: Oh, no. I just came to pick these up.

Rinne: Huh. Your bag has…some leaves and grass?

Hajime: That's right! I got quite a lot of them ♪

Rinne: Pickin' up wild grass, huh… Why?

Hajime: ? I'm going to eat them, of course?

Rinne: ………Ah, I got it. I can see what you're up to now.

That's for a TV show, isn't it? You should've told me earlier~

Hajime: Oh, this isn't for TV though? It's just that I got a craving for it since it's been a while since I ate these so I went here and got some.

Rinne: ………………

(From what I remember, aren't Ra*bits supposed to be a popular unit?)

(Well, not as much as UNDEAD or Akatsuki from the same agency but… each member seems to be goin’ strong in their own way, right?)

(So to see him here picking up grass like this… Never thought they're in deep shit that they can't even properly keep their stomachs full.)

'S that so? But ain't Seisoukan fully stocked with food? There's also lots of snacks in the ES break room, yeah?

If you're havin' trouble finding something to eat, ain't those better places to search in?

If anyone sees their precious idol foraging for grass in a place like this, that's not really a good look with the public, y'know?

Hajime: Trouble finding something to eat…?

Ah, no! You've got it wrong! I'm not gathering grass like this because I'm having trouble with money!

When I got on the phone with my family, we happened to talk about how we used to eat grass a lot when I was younger.

And then I just suddenly craved that nostalgic taste so I came here to pick these up. I normally eat properly, so please don't worry that much about it~

Rinne: Oh, so that's it? You made me uncharacteristically nervous for a sec there.

Hajime: I'm sorry for making you worry.

Rinne: Nah, don't mind it. My fault for jumpin' to conclusions so fast.

In fact, those grass growin' out there are delicious too. I also used to forage for them back when I was a li'l boy so I get ya, Hajime-kun.

I even used to go to the mountains to pick up some edible wild plants.

Thanks to that, I got some basic stuff down when it comes to edible grass. This one and this one can be eaten. This one's not. This one's edible too, but it's not really good.

Hajime: Wow! You didn't miss any! You're really knowledgeable about them!

Rinne: Hehe, told ya right? This ol' me won't ever lie ♪

This one's tasty if you blanch it a little. And this one's something that only Niki could munch on.

Hajime: Huh?! Shiina-senpai can eat this? I had an upset stomach when I ate this one by mistake.

Rinne: Yeah, same here. After eating it, I felt like dyin' the next day—couldn't move at all. But that guy's all fine and dandy.

Maybe it's got somethin' that only his stomach can digest. He's the one who cooked it, after all.

Hajime: Shiina-senpai is really good with cooking, isn't he? ♪

Rinne: Yeah. That guy's real good with his hands when it comes to food. Everything he makes is delicious. When I get home, I'll have him cook for me; that's why I got a lot of stuff here with me.

Hajime: Oh, that's indeed a lot. Let's see… Cheese, ketchup… There's also salami and basil… Are you planning to make pizza?

Rinne: Spot on ♪ Niki's pizza's always bangin', y'know? I end up eating too much if I don't watch it.

Hajime: Fufu, that's wonderful! Are you celebrating something today?

Rinne: Celebrating? No, not really…

Hajime: Huh? Is it okay to eat pizza on a normal day?

Back in my home, I was taught that pizza is a treat that you only eat on special occasions.

Rinne: Oh, is it now?

My bad, my bad. You're right, Hajime-kun. Of course, today is a special day~

And it's somethin' so important that we can't ever, ever forget about! None other than President Pizza's birthday!

Hajime: President Pizza's birthday?! I never knew about the existence of someone that great!

Rinne: You don't know him, Hajime-kun?! Man, that's really, really bad.

Hajime: W-What's wrong with it…?

Rinne: When it's President Pizza's birthday, everyone's gotta feast on some pizza.

If you only knew about it today, then I guess Hajime-kun never got to eat anything these past years, huh…

If that's the case, then it ain't good if you don't eat all those years' lost servings of pizza…

Hajime: All those years' lost servings of pizza… Are you saying that I should eat 17 years' worth of them?!

Rinne: Ah, then what I have here won't be enough. I gotta get back and grab some more ingredients, huh…

Hajime: I can't possibly eat that much!

Can't you do something to help me?! If I eat that much pizza, I'll end up hating it!

Rinne: Pfft… Ha…

Kyahahaha! Your reaction's takin' me out, Hajime-kun!

Hajime: This isn't a laughing matter! Uuu~ what am I supposed to do now?

Rinne: Don't ya worry your pretty li'l head. I was just messin' with you. That's a lie.

Hajime: A lie..? From which point was it a lie?

Rinne: Everything startin' from President Pizza's birthday.

Hajime: So, uhm… I don't have to stuff myself full of pizza until my stomach explodes?

Rinne: Yup. President Pizza doesn't exist.

Hajime: T-Thank god…

Rinne: I didn't expect you'd just take all of that without even questioning me.

You gotta put it in your head to suspect people a little more from now on, 'kay? Shino "Majime"-kun~ ♪ [1]

Hajime: Geez, you're so mean to deceive me like that, Amagi-senpai! You really scared me back there!

Rinne: Come on, sorry for bein' like that~

Oh, got it. As an apology for messin' with ya, lemme treat you to some pizza.

Hajime: …Are you sure you're not lying this time?

Rinne: Kyahahaha! Talk about a fast learner! Ya immediately got on your toes and suspected me! You take things so seriously. You really are Majime-kun, huh?

Hajime: M-My name is "Hajime"!

Rinne: Yessir~ Come on, let's bounce back home and have a feast! ♪

And while we're at it, let's use those grass you picked and make some wild grass pizza!

Hajime: W-Wah, please don't just drag me around, Amagi-senpai!

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Translation: Sophie

Proofreading: Ara

NOTES:

[1] “Majime” / まじめ = lit. means as a person who’s earnestly sincere and honest, and therefore takes things seriously at its face value. It’s a syllable off Hajime’s name, which makes it funnier given how Rinne has a penchant for giving silly nicknames to people he encounters.

Also can I just point out how Hiiro, who’s actually Hajime’s classmate and therefore theoretically closer to him, calls him “Shino-kun” (last name) while Rinne calls him “Hajime-kun” (first name) right off the bat. I just think his shamelessness is hilarious LOL

#enstars #ensemble stars #enstars tl #enstars translation #hajime shino #rinne amagi #feature scout

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fartlovingblkguy69 · 2 months

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A Flight to Be Remembered (Part 2). “You better not try anything! I don’t get fucked! I do the fucking! And I hope you’re ready to take this big dick up that sexy ass of yours! I’ll up your tip to $10 if you let me cum in that sweet Georgia peach!” This really sealed the deal for Tim. Logan wanted to get ridden, huh? He was about to get the ride of his life! Tim dipped his face back down between the musty cheeks and quietly grabbed Logan’s belt as well as his own. He quickly grabbed the 35 year old’s arms and tied them behind his back with his own belt before flipping him over. “I’m gonna ride you so good sir! But you’re gonna have to be a good boy to get this action! Get your tongue in there and find out how sweet this peach is!” Tim exclaimed as he backed his ass up to Josh’s entitled face. As Josh began to very half-assedly lick the outer rim of Tim’s hole he began to hump the air, demanding that Tim sit down on him and start riding or he’d kick him out and give him nothing! So Tim did just as requested! He sat down! But not on Josh’s dick like he wanted! No, he sat hard on his nose and squirmed until he could feel his hole being penetrated. He sat there for a minute and then decided to give Josh some air and let him have one more chance to stop being a dick before things proceed. As soon as he got up though, Josh began yelling expletives, telling him to get the fuck out and that this is why he doesn’t bother with worthless faggots, etc. and so Tim wrapped the second belt around Josh’s legs and then rocked back and once again buried that nose in his hole. This time however, he began to push and out came a long, loud fart! Bbbbbbrrrrrrrrtttttttttttttt “Ah! Been holding that one in for a while! Now that I have your attention, let me tell you how this is going to go. My stomach hurts and I’m full of gas and I’m going to let it all out up your nose. If you’re good, I’ll take my $5 and call it even. If you’re not…well in a little bit gas won’t be the only thing assaulting my hole and your face! Sound fair?” he said as he lifted slightly for Josh to answer. “Hell no! I don’t have to put up with this! I’m going to get you fired! Then I’m gonna press charges and have you thrown in jail! Then I’m gonna get your family fired from their jobs and take their house in punitive damages!” Well that was enough! Tim knew what had to be done! He plopped his ass back down, jiggling his cheeks and rubbing his aching stomach.

Sssssssppppppppprrrrrrtttttt bbbbbbrrrrrrrttttt

Ffffffsssssssshhhhhh

pppffffpfFFRRAAAAAPPPpppppfffssss

BRUUUUUUUMMMMPPPRRRRTTTTzzzzzzz

PrRRrrRRRFFfffumppppbroooumppttt

PHHHRUUUUMMMMMTTTTTSSS

Tim began to empty his stomach with fart after fart, rubbing his belly and sighing in relief while Josh struggled for air. The struggling beneath him was getting him hard and he started to stroke his 8 inches while he let loose! He also called down to the front desk and ordered room service: a pizza with extra cheese, a vanilla milkshake, and chocolate milk to be exact. When the food came, he took Josh’s own dirty undies, brought them to his hole, dug inside and let out a long silent fart before shoving them in Josh’s mouth as a gag. He sat back on Josh’s face and wolfed down his food and milk and watched tv while he waited, ripping ass whenever he needed for the next 30 minutes. Suddenly he felt a huge pain in his stomach, sharp and churning and he knew it was time!

He leaned forward just enough to pull the nasty undies out of Josh’s mouth and said, “Had enough? You done being an asshole to people now? Cause we can keep going all night if you want, but it’s about to get real nasty for you!” “Fuck you! I’ll do whatever I want to whoever I want! I’m gonna be your conjugal visit in prison! I can’t wait to bend you over and fuck you raw with no lube! Then I’m gonna pay the biggest, baddest prisoners to have their way with you all day long at least once a week and to beat the stuffing out of your weak, gay ass!” He went on and on, ranting and raving for 5 minutes. And then he noticed the big smile on Tim’s face. “That’s about what I was hoping you’d say. This is gonna feel great, therapeutic even! So thank you in advance! You just volunteered to be my human toilet! And just in the nick of time! I am so bloated! It’s time for all that food and gas to come out! Open wide for me now!” He quipped while backing his hairy dirty hole up to his mouth with his cheeks spread while his pucker pulsed with anticipation. He sat down with his ass lips meeting Josh’s mouth lips and then began to slap Josh’s stomach and dick, lightly at first to get him hard and then harder to make him scream. When he felt satisfied he began to push.

Brrrrrrrrrrtttttttttttt

Ppppppffffffffffffffftttttttttt

Ssssssshhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Fffffffssssssssssssshhhhhhh

Sssssppppppprrrrrrrreeeeeeeettttttttt

The farts got wetter and wetter until finally his hole opened real wide and out pushed a thick 10 inch log into Josh’s mouth which was being pried open by the giant turd itself. Tim sat there rubbing his stomach in relief and practically smothered Josh saying “There’s a lot more up there! You’re taking it all, just a matter of whether it’ll be the easy way or the hard way! My stomach still hurts so it’s about to get real wet too!” And with that, he pushed out another thick, 8 inch long log that forced the first one down and stretched Josh’s mouth open once again. Then cutting the end off the chocolate milk he made a makeshift funnel which he shoved in Josh’s mouth, wrapping the dirty underwear around it and then pushing his hole against the other end. Tim knew this was gonna be bad! His stomach was still churning so this wouldn’t be a small amount! He began to push.

Ssssssssssppppppppllllllllllllluuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrtttttttttttt

He released his nasty diarrhea, chunky mush that wasn’t quite liquid, but definitely not solid and filled the bottle to the brim. He held it steady and plugged Josh’s nose forcing him to swallow in order to take in any air and then repeated this exercise 5 more times! By the time he completed the last one, his hole and his dick were both dripping with wetness and he managed to cum on top of the stinking pile that fillled the makeshift funnel in his victim’s mouth before sliding forward. He slowly pumped Josh’s dick until it reached his full 7 1/2 inches and then using his shit as lune slid down on the dick, gripping and riding it making the jerk gasp with pleasure and at the same time swallow his nasty shit. He let him cum in his tight hole before he got up, sat down once again on the funnel, and let out one more very wet blast. Watery cum/shit mixture flew down Josh’s throat as he passed out from the whole ordeal and Tim quietly slipped $100 from his wallet and headed out in to the night.

#male farts #face farts #fart kink #gay shit #im lactose intolerant #human toilet #hairy male #gassy farts

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scotianostra · 4 months

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IT'S A PURE DEAD GIVE-AWAY THAT YOU'RE SCOTTISH IF :-

1. You consider scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine 🌞 as good weather.

2. The only sausage you like is square.

3. You were forced to do Scottish country dancing 🕺🏻

every year at secondary school.

4. You have a wide vocabulary of Scottish words such as numpty, aye, aye right, auldyin, baltic...

5. You destroyed your teeth when you were young using Buchanan's toffee, Wham bars, Penny Dainties, MB Bars, Cola Cubes etc

6. You have an enormous feeling of dread whenever Scotland play a 'numpty' team like the Faroe Islands.

7. You happily engage in a conversation about the weather with someone you've never met before.

8. Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia , Deacon Blue and Big Country, you still love it when you're in a club abroad and they play something Scottish.

9. You used to watch Glen Michael's Cavalcade on a Sunday afternoon with his side kick Lamp Paladin.

10. You got Oor Wullie and The Broons annuals at Xmas.

11. You can tell where another Scot is from by their accent - "Awright, pal, gonnae gies a wee swatch oa yur Sun ? Cheers, magic pal." Or "Fit ya bin up tae ? Fair few quines in the nicht, eh ?", etc

12. You see cops and hear someone shout 'Errapolis'.

13. You have participated in or watched people having a 'square go'.

14. You know that when someone asks you what school you went to they only want to know if you are catholic or protestant.

15. You have eaten lots and lots of random Scottish food like mince 'n tatties, Tunnock's Caramel Logs, oat cakes, haggis, Cullen skink, Lees Macaroon Bars, etc.

16. A jakey has asked you for money.

17. You think nothing of waiting expectantly for your 1p change from a shop keeper.

18. You know the right response to 'Ye dancing ?' is 'Y'askin?' followed by 'Ahm askin' and finally 'Then ahm dancin'. 💃

19. Whenever you see sawdust it reminds you of pools of vomit as that's what the jannies used to chuck on it at school.

20. You lose all respect for a groom 🤵 who doesn't wear a kilt.

21. You don't do 🛒 shopping ... you 'go the messages'.

22. You're sitting on the train 🚂 or bus and a 😵 drunk man sits next to you telling you a joke - and asking 'Ahm no annoying ye ahm a?' and you respond 'Naw, not at a', yer fine. This is ma stoap, but'. 🛑

23. You can have an entire phone 📞 conversation using only the words 'awright', 'aye' and 'naw'.

24. You have experienced peer pressure to have an alcoholic drink 🍷 when out - regardless of the circumstances.

25. You know that ye cannae fling yer pieces 🍞 oot a 20 storey flat, and that seven hundred hungry weans'll testify tae that. Furthermore you're sure that if it's butter, 🧀 cheese or jeely, or if the breid is plain or pan, the odds against it reaching earth are 99 tae wan.

26. You know that going to a party 🥳 at a friend's house involves bringing your own drink.

27. Your holiday abroad is ruined if you hear there is a heatwave in Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 while you're away.

28. Your national team goes 2-0 up again the Czechs in a qualifier in Prague and your mate says we'll end up losing 3-2 here and you think "Probably". ⚽️

29. You can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Auchtermuchty.

30. Your favourite pizza is deep fried and battered from the chippy.

31. You're used to 4 💨 ☔️ ☀️ ❄️ seasons in one day.

32. You can't pass a chip shop or kebab shop, without drooling, when your 🥴 drunk.

33. You can fall about 😵 drunk without spilling your drink.

34. You measure distance in minutes.

35. You can understand Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like them in your own family.

36. You go to Saltcoats because you think it's like being at the ocean.

🌊

37. You can make a whole sentence out of just swear words.

38. You know what haggis is made with and still eat it.

39. Somebody you know used a football 🥅 schedule to plan their 💒 day date.

40. You've been at a 👰 🎩 wedding where the footie results were read out.

41. You aren't surprised to find curries, pizzas 🍕 kebabs, Irn Bru, nappies and fags all for sale in one shop.

42. Your seaside holiday home has Calor ⛽️ gas under it.

43. You know that Irn Bru is an infallible hangover 😵 cure.

44. You understand all the above and are going to send it to your pals.

45. and, finally, you are 100 per cent Scottish if you have ever used these terms - "How's it hingin'?", "clatty", "boggin", "cludgie", "dreich", "bampot", and "dubble nugget"..

😂🕺🏻🥳

#scotland #scottish #history #funny but true

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maxwell-grant · 1 year

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PIZZA TOWER Characters ranked by how good they actually are at making pizza:

Gustavo: 5/10, 6/10 if he really puts his back into it. 9/10 if he’s making chocolate pizza which he doesn’t anymore, since it’s bad for Brick

In theory he SHOULD be the best pizzamaker of the bunch, unlike Peppino he clearly isn’t undergoing ten mental breakdowns per minute and he’s got an actual apron, plus he’s the only one we see delivering pizzas to satisfied customers in-game in the Gnome Forest. But since nothing in the game currently seems to indicate he has a pizza business, I’m going with a headcanon that Gustavo actually specializes in pastries and sweets, which is why he can seemingly keep himself in the Freezer level where all pizzas freeze solid. He does enjoy eating pizza, but Brick eats all the cheese in the house before he can even think about making one for himself.

Mr Stick: 2/10

Mr Stick has been subsisting on cheap takeout for decades now and cannot be trusted near an oven, or near a grill, or near a kitchen period, Peppino just lets him into his to keep him away from the cash register. If you ask him to make a pizza, he will charge a stupidly high amount just for heating up frozen calabrese. Still ranked higher than other characters only because he probably still makes pizza that’s marginally edible, as he definitely won’t want to risk a lawsuit by making you sick.

Pepperman: 8/10 if you really like peppers, 1/10 if you have a pepper allergy or just don’t like them

Pepperman point-blank refuses to be anything other than completely and totally excellent at everything he sets out to do, others not agreeing with his vision of what excellence is (mainly himself) is quite frankly not his problem, and he ESPECIALLY refuses to let himself be outdone by that wretched brute of a chef. Pepperman taught himself pizza-making out of spite purely so he could outdo Peppino, and he’s actually kinda great at it? Spite IS the perennial driving force of most of Pizza Tower’s characters after all. But obviously he doesn’t know, and doesn’t care to learn, about making any kind of pizza that isn’t stuffed full of peppers. If he’s feeling charitable, he might bake you a pizza with his face on it, and then throw a tantrum if you defile it by eating it (only HE can eat his own face).

Vigilante: 1/10.

Vigi’s family business seems to specialize in dairy and I think for the most part he sees pizza as cheap grub for city slickers (getting beat up by Peppino was kind of a wound to his pride), the whole idea just kinda abominable. He’s also a sentient pile of cheese who wears dirty gloves all day, if he did try to make a pizza, it would probably taste like dust or gunpowder or even have bits of him in it. That being said, he throws a MEAN barbecue, if you can talk him into changing his gloves you should get him near a grill immediately.

The Noise: -100/10

Noise is not legally allowed to be in most pizza establishments by court order, and the Domino’s lawsuits were a massive pain to settle as is. The Noise just does not cook, period, but luckily for him he can eat basically anything. He’s paid to advertise food products and NTV has personalized energy drinks, but his main diet consists entirely of tequila and cigarettes 24/7, and dozens of doctors have diagnosed his insides as some kind of freakish medical emergency that should take effect but never will. He’s like Mr Burns, it just all cancels each other out.

Noisette: lmao good luck

Going by her comics in the wiki, Noisette is just completely incapable of making anything that isn’t sweets even when she tries, and the fact that she hangs around The Noise makes it so that she has no sensible parameter whatsoever for what’s edible or what’s gonna give someone explosive diarrhea. She does run a coffee shop with at least some customers in the cast, she’s probably fairly good at baking, but if you ask her to make a pizza, the best you can possibly hope for is that she just makes you unusually large crepes, and hope you don’t hear an ambulance in the distance before eating.

Fake Peppino: ?????

He’s about as good as Peppino, ironically enough, but it’s a 50/50 on whether you enjoy eating his pizza or his pizza enjoys eating you, but hanging around Peppino and the others at minimum has made the third outcome, that is him eating both you and the pizza, statistically less likely.

Pizzahead: 7/10 at first, score gets lower everytime you eat it again

He SELLS decent pizza, is the thing, but obviously he never has to make any of it himself, not when he has all these countless food businesses and mascots and cooks bending to his whim after he enslaved John and took over the tower. “Being good” at making pizza is a laughable concern to him, when he frankly never even has to try, when he can just sleep during your escape sequences while everyone else has to do the hard work. The entirety of the background in Don’t Make a Sound is a testament to his catastrophic carelessness, you literally find boxes saying the monsters were mail ordered by him, and how little consequences matter to him (I don’t buy the idea that he’s driven by any kind of jealously towards Peppino, so much as he just targeted Peppino mainly because he could).

Pizzahead’s pizza is the kind of pizza that you get hooked in at first, and then makes you feel kinda empty or sick afterwards after a point and makes you think you probably should have eaten something else, but you’re still coming back another day or week when you have no energy or money or time to cook or buy a decent meal, so pizza it is again, and it keeps tasting marginally greasier and shittier and more depressing everytime until at some point you can’t smell the damn thing without wanting to vomit, and you swear off pizza entirely until you wind up back there again and, hey, it’s tolerable this time, and then the process begins again, go ahead, eat Pizzahead's product, wageslave, maybe you’ll start liking it again soon enough, he makes all the dollars and you make a dime and that's why you vomit on company time.

Gerome and John: 10/10

Gerome is probably the only character in-game who keeps a clean kitchen considering his job, and John is some kind of weird god with teleporting powers and sub-dimensions tied to him, and also the secret ingredients Gerome has the keys to wind up resurrecting John, but mostly I think it’d be funny if the characters who would be the absolute best at making pizza would also be the ones who would most reasonably never want to have anything to do with pizza ever again. I like to imagine The Tower Brothers having these miracle recipes and magic touch that both Peppino and Pizzahead desperately want, able to make the most unfathomably delicious Anton-Ego-flashback-inducing pizzas ever conceived, pizza that tastes the way you thought it tasted as a kid but actually much better, and nobody will ever realize it and they will never even touch a pizza again after it ruined their lives and home.

Peppino:

5/10. 6/10, if he really puts his back into it.

Yeah, it’s okay, Peppino’s probably an okay chef. Peppino as a chef is kinda like Mario and plumbing: you know it’s what he’s supposed to do, he sells an identity tied up to it, but you never actually see him do it, you see him doing literally everything except his job and you just kinda have to assume that he's good enough at it. Peppino’s pizzas are probably the most normal thing about him, and maybe the only normal thing about him, really.

He does manage to convince the Bosses to not kick his ass in exchange for free pizza, which means said pizza has gotta be at least somewhat tasty, but also, his place is a dump in the middle of nowhere, he can’t afford proper kitchen wear, he scavenges ingredients in the wild without hygiene concerns and getting his greasy hands all over them, he doesn’t have any staff and runs himself ragged doing everything solo, everything he touches tends to be destroyed in some fashion, he has zero patience, and by now he’s gotta have some kind of pizza-related trauma or several hundred after everything that the game put him through.

I kinda like to think Peppino, in spite of everything stacked against him and how fiercely he fought to defend his business, is ultimately a mediocre but decent chef, who happens to be an unstoppably gifted wrecking ball of a fighter (and talented dancer), who really just wants to keep being a chef in peace, and peace is the last thing he ever gets.

#pizza tower #peppino #peppino spaghetti #the noise #pepperman #gustavo and brick #gustavo #noisette #mr stick #the vigilante #headcanon

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finniusastraeus · 3 months

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Meanspo/ana tricks

Dont eat for pleasure. Eating because you like food is how you got so fucking fat. You want to call yourself 4nor3xic when you still want to eat that whole cake? that brownie? that pizza? how can you WANT that?

You're hungry? No you're bored drink water if you want a snack. mindless eating is the #1 habit that leads to weight gain. when you feel that impulse, replace it with drinking water or another 0kcal drink.

Appetite is disgusting imagine wanting to gain. You're not allowed to want food. Replace that urge with something unrelated. You want food? pick a specific coloring book and fill in a page everytime you want to. Or use the rubber band method.

Never eat alone, you're not allowed to WANT FOOD. If you eat alone you're literally giving up. you can only eat when you have to. if you're out say you got food when you you were out. but if you actually eat when no one's making you, you're trying to gain.

You only eat to make it look like you do. just because you have to eat doesnt mean it has to be a lot. lettuce only has 6kcals per cup. There are 2-3 kcals per grape. 8 kcals in a full cup of cucumbers. you can make it look like you're eating a giant mean and stay under 20 kcal EASILY.

It's not that hard. If you think it's hard to lose, you're not doing enough.

if you have to eat an unhealthy meal with your family take no more than 5 bites. chew them each 20 times and cut EVERYTHING on your plate into tiny peices. Push it around, hide it under other bits of food or if its dry put it in your pockets (i use that one religeously). put it in your pockets then in the garbage.

For the love of ana, dont eat nuts, juice, or cheese. Even if they're marketed as healthy they're SO HIGH KCAL

in one cup of cashews there are 800kcals. 830 for almonds. 111 in a cup of orange juice. 113 in a cup of apple juice. I'll make another post after this with a chart for kcals per serving of really low kcal foods and really high kcal foods.

#anarex14 #ana male #anorexcya #tw ed sheeran #i will be a skeleton #thiinsp0 #34t1ng d1s0rd3r #ana buddie #ana0rex1a #ana miaa #4norexi4 #4n0r3xia #4namia #4narex1a #boy ana #anamia #ed bullshit #bulim14

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just-wrting · 11 months

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The Babysitter (Part 1)

Title: The Babysitter (Part 1)

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Summary: After the family you babysit for moves, you meet with a father and son duo who are about to change your life.

Word Count: 1438

Master List Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

A/N: This took forever mainly because work has been kicking my ass with all these 9-hour shifts that switch from mid-morning one day to close the next. Part 2 will be up in a few days though I promise!!!!

You can hear your phone ringing in the next room. It’s probably not anything, but since you had spread the word that you need a new babysitting gig, you rushed to get it. Nothing said perfect timing like that call.

“Hi, this is (Y/N) (L/N). What’s this call about?”

You tuck the phone between your ear and shoulder as you scoop up the youngest of the kids into your arms.

“Hello, this is Aaron Hotchner. Someone told me I could call you about babysitting. Is now a good time?”

“Yes! Now works, though pardon the screaming in the background. The parents are running a little late but are almost here.”

In fact you could see their car just a few houses down the street. Granted, taking the call made you feel a bit guilty, but the parents had assured you that if you had someone call about your offer you could take the call.

“I can call back later if that works better.”

You pulled the plastic fork out of one of the boys’ hands and mouth ‘don’t you dare’. You can respect the sibling urge to annoy the younger siblings, but you can’t let him chase his siblings with forks.

“Actually the parents are pulling into the driveway. If you want, I know a place we could meet. It’ll give me a chance to introduce myself to your kid or kids. Does this number work to text you the address?”

You wipe the youngests face off, freeing their smile from pizza sauce. A car door closes and a chorus of ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ ring from around the kitchen.

“Only if it’s alright with you. I don’t want you to go out of your way.”

“No, it's fine. There wasn’t enough food for me to eat anything so it’s a good time for me to have dinner.”

You hand the youngest off to the open arms of their dad. You hear the flurry of kisses that makes the toddler laugh. It’s adorable to see how much the family cared for each other.

“Alright, I’ll meet you there.”

“Sounds like a plan. I hope to see you in about twenty minutes.”

—

“I’m so lucky you guys had mac and cheese left. This usually sells fast.”

You flash a smile at your friend. This was definitely your favorite spot. Practically everything they sold was homemade, from the mac and cheese right down to the cupcakes. It was all made with love, and perhaps tiredness. Not to mention, as a regular you got to try the new stuff early. That includes the napkin of cookies that they gave you after they took your order.

“Just for you, my loyal customer. Besides dinner, why are you here? Got a hot date or something?” she gives you a cheeky grin.

You wipe your mouth and shake your head. “Nope. Meeting a potential gig here. Figured since I needed to eat here works.”

At that moment, the bell above the door rings. In steps a man, smartly dressed in a clean pair of jeans and a maroon polo, with his son in tow. The man locks eyes with you right away before quickly scanning the whole cafe. His son was eagerly looking at your stack of cookies.

“I’m Aaron Hotchner. I was looking for a (Y/N) (L/N)?”

You stand up. “Right here. I’ve already had dinner but if you two would like something feel free to order it. I’ll pay for it.”

The son is quick to make a dash to your table once his dad strides toward you. He puts his little hands on the table and looks up at you with big eyes. You can see the lights reflected in them and you know that if you get the gig those eyes will be the death of you.

“Can I have one of those cookies, please? There aren’t any of them in the case.”

Aaron puts his hand on his son’s shoulder and steers him toward the counter. “It’s not nice to ask for other people’s things, Jack.”

You hide a smile behind your hand. Sure you shouldn’t want to give him a cookie, but he asked nicely and is just too cute. As much as you want to spend time fawning over the fact that not only is the kid adorable, he’s got good manners, you try to focus on Aaron.

Given the fact that he didn’t mention or bring a wife with him, you figure that she isn’t in her son’s life anymore. You make a mental note to ask about it in private. That sort of topic is sensitive for kids, so you don’t plan on broaching it in front of Jack.

“I don’t mind letting him have one of my cookies. I don’t think I’ll be able to eat all four of them by myself anyway.”

Aaron gives Jack a gentle nudge your way. It takes him just a few steps to run to your table. He climbs up on a chair and sets his hands in his lap. He never looks directly at you, only at the table and the stack of cookies.

“It’s fine if you have one. Your name is Jack, right?”

Jack nods his head and reaches out for the cookies. He held it in his hand and took a tentative bite out of it. Crumbs fell to the table and you slide a spare napkin across to him.

“I’m sorry if I had called at a bad time, I didn’t realize you would be busy.”

Aaron sets down a cup in front of Jack. There’s whipped cream poking out of the top signaling it’s a hot chocolate. Jack seems eager to keep the sweets coming as he starts to drink.

“It’s not a big deal. If everytime someone called was a good time, it would probably be a bad sign.” You took a sip of your coffee. “Actually you had great timing. Today was my last day with the Smiths.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, how long have you been babysitting?”

Jack eyes the cookies as he polished off the one he had grabbed. You slide them a little closer to the boy and give him a nod. He looks up at his dad for his confirmation.

“Since high school. I was already watching my younger siblings and figured what’s a few more. I even scheduled college around one of the families. Most of the families I’ve worked with work long or random hours.”

“That’s good to hear. I tend to have to go out of state for my job.”

As you sit and discuss things like pay and qualifications, Jack falls asleep on his dad. You can hear the soft little puffs of air as he dreams, and you realize it’s gotten later than you anticipated. The cafe is supposed to close in ten minutes and you feel the exhaustion hit you like a truck.

“If it’s okay, I can start tomorrow. I’d be more than happy to take care of Jack.”

Aaron runs his fingers through the boy’s hair and lets out a sigh. You know he’s thinking hard about what he should do. The conversation shows how much he loves his son. It’s heartwarming to see and you want to take a picture of them.

“That sounds good. I’ll text you the address later, but I think it’s time to go now.”

You chuckle. “Yeah he’s out for the night. I’m surprised he fell asleep so quickly even with the sugar.”

Aaron gently picks Jack up. “It’s been a long day.”

You follow him to the door. He does his best to walk in a way that doesn’t disturb Jack, and you find yourself admiring him. Being a single parent can be hard, and Aaron seems to handle it with grace.

“I’ve got it. I can get the car door for you too.”

Thankfully, the car was right in front of the cafe. There’s a booster seat in the back seat, and you can see a variety of kids' toys littering the floor. It doesn't take long for Aaron to buckle Jack in. The kid doesn’t even stir.

“Thank you for being able to meet me here. I know it’s not a very convenient place, but I’m so grateful,” you say.

Aaron gives you a soft smile. “Thank you for being able to start tomorrow. Jack seems to like you so I think you’ll be a good fit.”

“Well then I’ll be at your place at 6 am sharp. Have a good night, Aaron.”

“Get home safe, (Y/N). I’ll see you in the morning

#reader insert #criminal minds #aaron hotch #aaron hotch fic #aaron hotch fluff #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotchner #criminal minds aaron hotch

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tmntheadcanons · 4 months

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tmnt 2012 donatello headcanons

He does NOT drink enough water

And when he does get a glass of water he chugs it in 2 seconds because he remembers he hasn't had any water all day and he's actually very parched

He drinks so much coffee that he has just adapted to drinking it black. Also he will drink any brand, any strength at any temperature with whatever in it he has no standards

Something about Donnie attracts people that overshare. Something about him makes people go "I'm gonna tell this guy my deepest darkest secrets unprompted."

He cannot sing for the life of him. He is just incapable of it. He's completely tone deaf.

Donnie likes his food more on the bland side. When they get pizza he actually prefers just a cheese pizza. He picks things off his pizza all the time and usually give it to Mikey. He's big on texture so he doesn't green peppers or olives on his pizza. Weirdly enough he is okay with pineapple though.

Donnie has a whole double online life where he's involved in a lot of online forums for various hobbies and he has a few online friends. He'll message them about random stuff he's working on so he'll be smiling and giggling at his computer and someone will be like "Ooh, Donnie who are you messaging?", and Donnie is like "Oh my friend Greg, we're talking about motherboards." And Greg is like a 45 year old man from Australia he met on reddit

He is the only one in the house with any streaming service account. Everything is under his name and everyone is constantly pestering him to come fix the tv.

He's got a stress ball at his desk and it is worn.

Sometimes when he's working on something he'll listen to classical music. Partially because it helps him focus but also because it lowkey makes him feel like a mad scientist.

#tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt donatello #tmnt headcanons #tmnt 2012 headcanons

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manicplank · 2 months

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The Color Pink (Part 2)

I know, I know, I took a long time to write part two. I haven't had much time or inspiration to actually get on my computer and write. With The Noise update out, my motivation is FILLED. Anyways, enjoy. This one is longer than the last one. Sorry not sorry.

A loud, rhythmic beeping began at the crack of dawn. Hazel had already pressed snooze a couple of times. She grumbled in annoyance as she realized it was time to wake up for the day. Once again, she woke up hoping that today would be the day that The Noise came back to her cafe. She had been hoping that it'd that day since the moment he stepped out of the door. She crawled out of bed and began her morning routine. She brushed her teeth first then her hair. She splashed her face with cold water in an attempt to wake herself up faster. Then she got dressed in her favorite uniform; the pretty pink bunny mask, a matching color of overalls over a white shirt, and her absolute favorite red heels. She sighed before she headed off into the morning.

The Slum was always so humid. Somehow, it only added extra tension to the air. She walked through it daily to get to her cafe. She was always so paranoid as she clutched her purse tightly to her chest. Sometimes, some of the shrimp and pigs from The Pig City would wander around. Occasionally, there's violence. She was thinking about going to Pizzaface soon and asking for a different location. She was grateful to have a cafe, but she was starting to get sick of the location. As she approached her cafe, she saw a shrimp hanging outside of the door. They made eye contact, and she stopped in her tracks. "Hey, there," he spoke. "Don't worry, I ain't gonna hurt'cha. I just wanna buy a coffee that don't taste like pizza."

"Oh," she let out a nervous laugh. "Okay, um... Give me a minute or two to get it all started."

She unlocked the door and he followed her in. He sat down at the counter and watched her as she worked. Thankfully, she had a good close the night before and set herself up for the morning. The machines and pots were already clean. All she had to do was put in fresh filters and beans then brew. As the coffee brewed into the pot, the bell over the door rang. "Vigi," she greeted. The Vigilante stood at the door, squinting his eyes.

"Everything okay in here," he asked, seeing the shrimp.

"Oh, yeah, everything's fine. Just an extra early customer!"

"Well, alright."

The Vigilante slithered up to the counter and sat on the stool. "What can I get you, sir," she asked the shrimp. "Ehhh, lemme just get a coffee with milk n' sugar." She poured two mugs of coffee, one completely full and one three quarters full. She added milk and sugar to fill the one to the top then she handed each of them their cups. The Vigilante gave a slight glance to the shrimp, and the shrimp glanced back. "Don't worry, cheese man," the shrimp spoke and sipped his coffee. "I ain't got a warrant. You can keep mindin' yer business." The Vigilante let out a groan and turned back to Noisette.

"So," The Vigilante started, "The Noise come back here, yet?"

"No," she sighed. "I've been hoping, but I don't think he's coming back."

"What? Did he not like your coffee?"

"I don't know. He said he loved it, but... I thought he would've come back by now." She frowned a little, which The Vigilante saw.

"You said The Noise was in here," the shrimp man asked.

Noisette sighed again. "He was, but that was weeks ago..."

"You know, he's the one who told me to check this place out."

Her rabbit ears went straight. "Really? Wait, you know him?"

"Oh yeah, he's a big celebrity in The Pig City. Comes around every so often. He said sum'n about a cafe in The Slum having coffee that didn't taste like pizza."

"Huh..."

The day went by pretty quickly once the Pig City Police came in for their coffees. Once she was lost in her work, she also lost track of time. Noon finally hit, and it was time for her to start closing up. The cafe was empty, and people usually stopped coming around that time. She started taking the machines apart and cleaning them. She liked coming in to a clean cafe. It made it easier to start her day. She was elbow deep in dish water when the bell rang. It was him!

"Hey," The Noise was panting and out of breath. "I, uh, hope you're not closed."

"Are you okay," she asked.

"Yeah," he huffed, "I... Sorry, I sort of ran here hoping to get there in time, but it looks like I'm a bit too late."

"Actually, I haven't poured any of the coffee out. It might be a bit stale, though."

He walked over and sat at the counter. "That's fine," he cleared his throat, no longer breathing heavy. "I'm just taking lunch. It's been a rough day on set, and I need a pick-me-up."

"What can I get you?"

"Same as last time?"

"Uh..."

"..."

"I, uh... Don't remember."

"Oh! Right. It's been a while since I've been here, huh." He chuckled. "Iced coffee, shot of espresso, sweet cream with three sugar."

"I'm on it!"

She quickly prepared his coffee. She was a little shaky as her heart was fluttering. Her celebrity crush was there, again! Getting her coffee, AGAIN!! She was suddenly on top of the world. She poured it into a glass but stopped. "Wait," she turned to him, "was this for here or to go?" He smiled and laughed, seeing that she had already poured it. "I can stay if you don't mind." She smiled and gave him his coffee. "Of course, not." The two locked eyes for a good minute. She could've sworn that, for a second, she felt something between them. Then she realized that she'd been staring at him. She cleared her throat. "Sorry," she blushed, "I should keep closing up." She went back over to the sink and resumed washing dishes.

"I appreciate you talking about my business," she aired, still smiling.

"Oh... Wait, what," he inquired.

"A weird shrimp guy from The Pig City came in and told me you were talking about my coffee."

"Oh! Yeah, that. Heh... It's no big deal. I figured people should know that there's coffee in this place that doesn't taste like shit."

"Is pizza-flavored coffee really such a bad thing?"

"Uh, yeah! For me, at least. I hate pizza."

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah. I don't like pizza. I think it's disgusting. Just the smell of it makes me gag."

She finished washing dishes and dried off her hands. "You're crazy! Wait, sorry, I mean-"

He laughed. "You're not the first person to tell me that."

"No, no, I'm sorry!"

"Don't apologize, you're right!" He laughed again seeing how flustered she got. "Ehh, don't worry, I'm not mad at you." He sipped his coffee. "I like that you talk to me like I'm a person. Being a celebrity has its pros, but it also has a lot of cons. Being treated as a public figure is one of those cons."

She started to pour the old coffee down the drain and began to wash those, too. "You know, you're kind of different when you're not behind the T.V. screen."

"Well, duh. It's called acting."

She giggled. "I should've figured." She filled up a bucket with soapy water. She grabbed a rag and started wiping down the machines. "Being treated like a public figure... Is that what's making your day rough?"

"Not really. It's just..." He sighed deeply. "It's been one of those days, you know? It's one thing after another."

"I get that. Happens to all of us."

"Yeah. It especially sucks when you're carrying the weight of an entire T.V. franchise. Or a cafe." He looked at her and smiled.

She looked over at him and saw his smile. He winked at her, and she smiled as well, blushing. "Yeah," she chuckled, "running a company sucks at times. I mean, I'm sure your job is a lot harder than mine." She started wiping down the counters.

"Everybody's job is hard. I'm just... I keep blanking out and forgetting my lines. I can't seem to focus today. The director is on my ass for it. And to make it worse, a couple of our cameras are having issues. I'm hoping they call it a day early, but it's looking like we're gonna be working overtime." He stopped suddenly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to start rambling."

"That's okay." She looked at him and smiled. "I don't mind it. It helps to talk it out, sometimes."

"Yeah, but I have the tendency to talk and talk."

"Me, too! I can be super talkative, especially about the things I like!"

"Same here! Ha ha!" He suddenly seemed really excited. "I mean, there are times when I wish people would let me know when to stop. I don't always know. I can go on and on. That's why I get surprised sometimes when I can't remember my lines. But my memory is sort of... terrible."

"Mine, too! I swear, I would forget my own head if it weren't attached to my body!"

"Really? With a pretty face like that, it'd be hard to forget to put it on every day."

She giggled, she felt her face flush red. "Oh, gosh, um-" she cleared her throat. She noticed his glass was empty. "You want me to take it or refill it?"

"How're you gonna refill it when you already poured the coffee out for the day?"

"Oh, yeah... I can always make another pot."

"Nah, nah, don't do that for me. I should get going anyways. The cast is already frustrated with me. The last thing I need is to be late. Wait... What time even is it?"

"Oh! It's uh... One o'clock!"

"OH SHIT! I'M LATE AS HELL!" He got up and dashed out.

She giggled as the bell rang. She turned around, but the bell rang again. The Noise was back in a rush. "Sorry, toots! I forgot to pay!" He handed her $150 and ran off. "Keep the change," he shouted as he ran out the door again. "Wait, but," she tried to call out to him, but he was already gone. She was completely dumbfounded, she didn't even realize that he forgot to pay at first. She was so caught up in the fact that she just had a full and complete conversation with The Noise. At some point, she even thought he was flirting with her. She hoped that he could stay longer, but she knew he had to go. She sighed... She didn't want to get into her own head, but... She already thought she was in love.

#pizza tower #noise #the noise #noisette #fanfic #pizza tower fanfic #i spent way too much time on this #pink fic

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