#like yes. the autobots DEFINITELY got some fucked up shit going on

[talesfromlissom]

hello everything is fine? If requests are still open, I would like to know if you can do the reaction of the Decepticons (Megatron, Tarn, Overlord and Soundwave) with a Cybertronian s/o who is a cannibal and uses a fucinheira? Is she a powerful and insane warrior? If you don't want to write, ignore it, thank you.

Fandom: Transformers (IDW?)

TW: Violence, Implied Gore, Cannablism

Rules | Ask Box | Kofi

A/N: I don’t normally do IDW requests (haven't read it all, and I also assumed that's the universe you wanted), however I recognize these characters enough that I did the request anyways because my inbox has been the sahara desert for the past couple of months Anyways I loved this request, so thank you. And yes, everything is good. 

MEGATRON

 » He puts a leash on you, sorry. 

 » Your relationship is absolutely terrifying, a lord and his loyal guard dog that eats people

 » When he first discovered your cannabalistic tendencies, he was shocked at first. He mainly just cops it up as a habit not yet broken from your upbringing. He had to do various unsavory things to survive being a low caste member, so why were you any different? 

 » relationship wise your dynamic is pretty much what is said above. You parades you around like a trophy, and sometimes even feeds you the severed limbs/organs of his prisoners. You don't mind as long as your fed apparently.

 » A long time ago, (for shits and giggles) he had said that he would use you as an execution method. Mainly for individuals that betrayed him and Megatron didn’t feel like hunting them down himself. When he saw how enthusiastic you were he made it a thing. 

 » Nothing pleases him more than letting you out of the muzzle to go ‘hunt’ and seeing you bring back a limb, organ, or seeing your intake covered in energon. It does something to him. 

 » May or may not have a predator/prey kink now 

TARN 

 » Probably the one to give you the muzzle in the first place.  

 »  You’re definitely a member of DJD by the way, I’d imagine he’d name you after the capital of his home city.

 » You and him met when he was going after yet another Decepticon traitor. He had expected to find yet another snivling coward, or a fighter. 

 » What he found was a half eaten corpse with you hovering over it. You looked wild, disheveled, but there was a sense of intelligence in your optics despite how much bloodshed you caused. 

 » And you caused alot. 

 » (Similar to Megatron) If on the rare occasion that the DJD’s current target gets away he send you on the hunt. He always orders you to bring them back alive, but he never says if they have to come back with all their limbs in tact. 

 » He prefers to kill them himself, and alternates between letting Tesarus grind them into bits or letting you eat them alive. 

 » He once had Tesarus grind a deserter into paste, and then Tarn served it to you as some fucked up smoothie. 

 » He still laughs about it to this day btw 

OVERLORD 

  » Was most likely frightened of you at first. You were strong, probably insane because you flat out ate people without a care in the world. However, that wasn’t what frightened him. 

 » You were smart. Every kill you made was calculated and precise. It was always people that the others wouldn’t notice missing. You memorized their schedule, the type of energon they had, the amount of exercise they got. 

 » Your prey was carefully, hand selected. You had certain types of people that you went after to consume, and people you avoided like the plague. 

  » At first he didn’t notice that various prisoners were going missing. He didn’t care, they couldn’t escape even if they tried. He didn’t really mind if the other Decepticons had dragged some loud mouthed Autobot out of their cells to give them a piece of their mind to be honest. 

 » And then he found a half eaten Autobot hanging from the ceiling, and that scared the hell out of him. He knew about your tendencies to devour your fellow Cybertronian, he just never thought he’d witness the aftermath. 

 » Afterwards you two come with a sort of unspoken agreement. You’re clearly settling for half cooked chow and he isn’t sure how long you’ll be satisfied with that. 

 » He keeps a close eye on you, and has a ‘list’ of your ‘most liked’ traits in a prey. Their energon type, the functionality of their frame, that sort of thing. If they happened to win enough fights, instead of Overlord giving his usual, ‘kill me or kill yourself’ dilemma, he rearranges it to ‘kill you or kill yourself’. 

 » You look completely unassuming to most, and you use that your advantage. 

 » Overlord loves seeing the look on people’s face when you don’t go for the kill, but instead open your mouth. The moment they see what’s inside they start screaming. 

 » He’ll never get tired of those noises. 

#//my writing #//requests #overlord x reader #megatron x reader #tarn x reader #woah first request #I haven't done anything on here in so long what else do i put

[transingthoseformers]

You know what is a really fun thing to contemplate?

Dratchet got together while soul searching and off on adventures following Empire of Stone (they definitely kissed after), but what if they never lost proud Decepticon Grit. Like they've all just had a bonding adevnture and they are slowly making there way back to Cybertron to turn him over but he's basically like a feral cat that hates them and is always around. He is suffering watching these two confess their love ("ABOUT FUCKING TIME BUT HOW ABOUT WE DEAL WITH THE SPACE VAMPIRES FIRST!?!"), he's in the background photos of their fiest date taking shots at the bar, their photo albums all show him in varying stats of "please end me" or getting in fist fights or drowning or having just the wildest shit happen while he remains pretty steady and unbothered in their orbit.

He's the only one at their wedding and has a nice three weeks on a vacation planet in the separate hotel room Drift booked for him because they couldn't just leave him. He's at the spa drinking Engex martinis and complaining on Decepticon social media about high command needing to get their shit together and get some direction and is fully convinced Megatron the Autobot is a cover and has gotten into several fist fights over it.

He's the meme of "me, my captor, and the medic turned conjunx he has been hot for for 4 mil years".

They are getting ready to drop him off but get Rodimus's distress call. They arrive on Necroworld and he helps out. He thinks Tarn is "a fucking idiot" and everyone just sort of goes with it because Drift and Ratchet have a carry on. He goes with Ravage and bodies Tarn to give his superior officer an escape chance. Megatron doesn't see that part because it cuts off and has his own gotta fight moment due to the severity of Ravage’s injuries.

He talks to Megatron and finds out "no I really have defected", nods, and while Drift is rushing forward going "nonono" proceeds to punch him straight on and yell about abandonning them and subpar leadership and everything before stomping off to go sit with Drift, Ravage, and Ratchet and basically ignore him.

Rodimus loves him.

Megatron is awkwardly circling the scoffing disdain.

Grit is suffering and still keeps showing up to Dratchet dates because "they are the only people he knows" which leads to another layer of misunderstanding that the ship has and Grit upon learning this becomes convinced by Swerve's conspiracy board and it makes him feel compelled to awkwardly sit them both down and stiffly formally try and "turn them down" as gently as possible. Ratchet just kind of chokes and Drift is laugh-sobbing too hard to get a word in.

That would be so fucking funny yes

I admit I had to look Grit up on the tfwiki because I was moderately confused

That would be so funny, he's trying he's trying but he's the ultimate unwilling third wheel, and yes yes Rodimus fucking loves the guy and Megs is just VIBING here

#maccadam #transformers #mtmte grit #mtmte drift #mtmte ratchet #dratchet #mtmte megatron #mtmte tarn #mtmte ravage #mtmte rodimus #mtmte swerve

[crissiti]

I have this tfa au where i just yoink things from other tf continuities and make them fit tfa. It’s also the au where my OCs live. Since I’m currently obsessing over idw constructiprowl I decided to shove then in there too.

Ok so I really want to have a constructiprowl in tfa so the solution I’ve come up is there are two Prowls. One is the one that we know and the other one is pretty much g1 Prowl. Im gonna call the second one og!Prowl bc he is older that the one we have in the show.

So og!Prowl’s story is before the war he was an enforcer and during the war he was in high command( not the SIC though). However sometime during the war he was used as a scapegoat by the rest of high command and got kicked out of the army( dishonourably discharged). People he thought were his friends turned on him. He is definitely morally grey and has done some very questionable things during the war but so has the rest of high command. He didn’t deserve to be just thrown under the bus like that. He has lots of anger issues. He was very pissed over the whole thing. So high command want to get rid of him because he is too important and knows too much to just be let to his own devices so they decided to chuck him in Garrus-9. They thought that by throwing him into a prison filled with Decepticons that hate his guts they would be rid of their problem. And since he had multiple times before expressed his dislike and mistrust to cons ( even ex cons turned autobots) they were convinced that he would be all on his own. But high command had underestimated how resourceful and petty he could be. Prowl is livid and filled with so much spite it’s a wonder how he hasn’t turned into a singularity. There are no lines he isn’t willing to cross anymore. He doesn’t care. He is going to survive and he is going to make them regret that they tried to rid of him.

And you wouldn’t guess who’s also in Garrus-9. A certain recently crippled Decepticon gestalt(the g1 version). They had just lost their leader Scrapper. So with some (lots of) manipulation, some scheming and some very questionable scientific intervention Prowl gets a gestalt. (Like it takes almost a year for him to get close to the combiner team and convince them to collaborate. He tries to “befriend” them. It’s funny cuz it’s a bit of the opposite of what happens in idw. He is the one who needs them and goes around trying to gain their favour.)Does he like them? No. Does he like the idea of them being inside his head and spark? Absolutely no. Does he want to give one big middle finger to the Autobots and fuck them over by causing a prison break in one of their most secure prisons? HELL YES!

After combining the constructicons are kinda smitten with the way Prowls mind works and even though they realize he was manipulating them they are very impressed. This version of Prowl is out of shits to give and even though he is very emotionally stunted and doesn’t want emotional relationships with them he agrees to become the new leader of the team and join the Decepticons. Since he used to be part of Autobot high command the Decepticon counterpart doesn’t trust him much, even though he is very good tactician, so he stays at a relatively low rank in the con army.

It takes literally thousands of years for his relationship with the structies to develop from something more than work colleagues. It takes him soo long to admit even to himself that he has started to care about the gestalt because he is so afraid to let people in. He tried to keep the relationship strictly professional and since he is not a complete asshole to the gestalt they are fine if a bit exasperated with him.

“We are just colleagues! I am your boss! Nothing more!”

“Suuureee, boss.” The whole gestalt roll their eyes.

And before he knows it he has five boyfriends.

#crissi’s aus #tfa constructiprowl #tfa #maccadam #transformers animated #transformers #prowl #constructicons #tfa expanded

[dragonridernoobie]

How Optimus, Ratchet, and Megatron act when they meet someone that is forgetful but good with swords

Request open still!!!

I'm not gonna lie. I never watched Demon Slayer, but I appreciate you telling the characteristics for S/O!

Optimus

When he first met you, you where practicing you're sword attacks in the forest.

He watched you and was impressed by the sword skills.

But like all good/cool things had to come to an end.

The decepticons found optimus (somehow) and attacked him.

He wasted no time picking you up and calling for a ground bridge.

There, he interduced you to everyone and told you the story why he was here, just he did with miko, Jack, and Raph.

He decided that he will be you're gurdien and this is where you're friendship bloomed.

It came clear very FUCKING quickly to optimus that you where forgetful.

Most times he had to remind you to go grab you're backpack, lunch, homework, and even you're sword.

It never bothers him. He enjoys it since it's always different, and it always keeps him on his toes.

He confess his feelings for you and you guys became a thing.

He was 100000% more protective of you.

He understands you are great with a sword but it'd a sword.

Oh boy, did you prove him wrong.

Miko pulled, well, a miko, and dragged you into the portal with her.

You where attacked by decepticons and optimus was fearing the worse when he went thru the portal to get you.

Expect to find you missing but just finds you beating the living SHIT out of the drones.

He is amazed that you where able to fight somone almost 200x you're size but saw that you truly can hold you're own

You forgot about the fight 2 hours later.

Ratchet

Ratchet was asked to open a ground bridge for Optimus.

When he did, he wasn't so happy to see ANOTHER human.

Tho, he did notice the sword you had.

He was assigned to be you're guardian as much as he protested.

He learns really quickly how forgetful you are and it annoys him.

Always reminding you to get you're bag, eat something, drink some water, To FUCKING BREATH!

(Yes there was a time you forgot to breath)

He gets more and more annoyed with you but somehow you manged to get into this old bots spark.

As much as he hated the fact that he fell for you, you always made him laugh when you forget what you are doing or anything really.

The sword tho, he wasn't so sure about.

He was worried that you would hurt yourself because of how forgetful you are.

Tho, you proved him wrong when the tables have turned and you where the one protecting him.

He was driving you home from (work/school) and he was attacked by Knockout.

He was thrown to the ground, hurt.

He told you to run but you did no such thing, you stood you're ground and held out you're sword.

He saw how you took on knockout and won.

You definitely got a ear full about safety and how reckless you where but he also made sure to tell you how proud he is of you.

That night he confess his feelings and you returned them.

If you don't return his feelings, you are a monster

Megatron

He met you when you where taken from the forest by one of his vicons and brought to you.

He noticed that you had a sword, but he still let you keep it when he thru you into a little cage.

Thinking you won't be able to do anything with that dinky little thing.

Even tho you where assigned to Soundwave he still came by to ask you for information about the autobots.

You kept telling him you don't know who they are.

He notices very quickly that you forget alot.

He tries to use this in his advantage but fails.

After weeks being kept in that cage, he took you out and he shrunk down to you're size.

Or at lest you're size, since he was still a whole 4 ft. Taller then you.

He was impressed by you're sword skills, to the point he actually had fun fighting you.

You reminded him of his old days.

He watched how you fought and actually gave you tips on how to fight.

(No the lord scary megatron ain't being soft.)

Eventually you gained his friendship that he let's you sit on his shoulder alot.

He loves your poor memory, just like optimus. It's always exciting to see what you forget next.

He confessed his love to you when you invited you to the roof of the warship.

You return you're feelings.

Hope you enjoyed! Please remember to request any character on my list! I'm always open!!!

#transformers tfp #tfp megatron #tfp optimus prime #tfp knockout #tfp ratchet

[artsy-hobbitses]

Knowing about much of their relationship, what was Sides/Strongarm's first date like? Did they have pictures at the time (was it just Sides being flirty?) and more importantly, who kissed who first?

They actually wouldn’t be able to tell you in all frankness. It would depend on if you mean a date they were cognizant of or one where it was “oh yeah we did that didn’t we?” in hindsight.

Basically they’ve been sporadically, unofficially ‘dating’ before they’d ever figured were dating. They’d spar with each other very often, he’d get flirty and she’d snark back, he’d sneak off after his gym sessions with Sunny to see her on pretext of making sure she’s seen Ratchet because Wreckers can be kinda reckless when asking for medical care, yaknow? She usually asks him to try out her kitchen experiments, and he always says yes even when he knows from experience he’s going to regret this hours later (She reasons that he knows how to be honest without being an ass about it, he reasons that hey, he just wants front row seats to the miracle as it happens!)

They’re initially unwilling to admit they like each other more than friends and that they know more about each other than anyone else on the team—Strongarm thinks it’s insane to even think about this in the middle of a war and she’s not ready to admit that she’s actually scared of the idea of losing him (she has lost friends on the force prior to this) because he’s on the frontlines so she keeps herself safe she thinks, by being professional/holding him at a distance, while Sideswipe—who’s been seen as second best his entire life—likes her but genuinely thinks she can and will do better/that he’s just here until someone better comes along.

Whatever it is they have kind of stumbles and gets supercharged after Sunny leaves the Autobots and Sideswipe is the worst he’s mentally ever been (in realizing that the only family member who he figured gave a shit about him has more or less ‘abandoned’ him too, and he’s taking the heat for letting Sunny go), and he and Strongarm get into a shouting match when she attempts to care for/run an intervention on him because she can’t bear to see him like this. Sideswipe’s emotionally dense at times, but not THAT dense, and when he sees the shattered expression on Strongarm’s face when he asks her “WHY DO YOU CARE?!”, it hits him like a brick even without a verbal response from her (..Oh. OH.) but he fumbles with his words and she just high-tails it outta there. And he’s left thinking fucking shit fucking hell he pushed someone else away AGAIN what the absolute hell you moron WHY WOULD YOU YELL AT HER LIKE THAT?!

He’s absolutely ready to do a whole apology tour the next day—flowers, chocolates, the whole deal—and crashes into her midway of finding her. She’s as surprised as he is, but informs him that she managed to introduce the concept of a “Mental Health Day” to Prowl, so he’s got the day off from his deskwork penance duty. She’s also got something new for him to try, no not here—he hasn’t been outside in ages and the day is too good to spend moping inside.

Cue the single beat as he blinks at her— flowers and chocolates in hand—and she blinks at him—dressed up and a picnic basket in arm.

A very confused “…Is this like. A date?” from Sides, followed a deep breath and a shaky but very determined “Yes” from Strongarm.

The entire thing is pretty on-the-spot and clumsy—they decide to head to the beach, Strongarm almost falls flat on her face because the cute shoes she chose for this outing are not made to walk on the shoreline so she’s tromping around barefooted cursing the seagulls who have definitely sensed incoming snacks (Sides has her shoes) as they find a nice patch in the shade somewhere because it’s warmer than expected.

Though whatever misgivings they might have sort of dissipate as they take in the situation; There is some sand in the food by the time Strongarm takes it out, but Sideswipe can see that it’s his favorite dish which she made, and while the flowers are slightly crumpled and the chocolates are semi-melted in the heat, Strongarm can see that they’re her favorites as well.

And it’s this understanding that they have always tried for each other, even if their efforts aren’t perfect, that leads to a very serious conversation about what happened, right after Sideswipe kicks it off the apology tour with an audience of one (and several very intrigued seagulls).

She admits that yes, she cares for him—he really is all she has left of a life she left behind—but admittedly hasn’t been the best at showing it, and has been afraid of taking that next step/potentially losing someone else close to her on the field.

He admits he cares for her—she’s all he has of his old life now that Sunny has left—but didn’t know if she felt the same way given how their ‘relationship’ started out (him the scoundrel, her the paragon) and he had been alright with it, and his insecurities about being second in everyone’s life—apparently even for his brother—just boiled over in that moment.

He gets a gentle-firm arm punch before he can apologise again, as Strongarm goes into full Rumiko Takahashi Tsundere baakaaa you think I’d do all this for some idiot Second Best on my list really REALLY (Sideswipe: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT AM SHUTTING UP AND EATING NOW)

The dish is, for the first time, perfect, and Sides lets her know that and thanks her, and her silly muppet goofball grin/little shimmy of triumph get a good-natured laugh out of him (which in turn makes her smile even bigger since it’s the first time she’s heard him laugh in months)

There’s companionable silence as they muster up the courage to cuddle up against one another and hold hands to watch the clouds go by, and Sideswipe notes how fleeting everything good like this feels in the middle of a war, that she isn’t wrong—she’s slated to leave for a Wrecker mission tomorrow, and after everything that has happened, this could the last time they see each other.

Strongarm talks about how some of her few friends in the force would hold little moments like this like a talisman to get them through bad days on the field, gives him a peck on the cheek (first chaste kiss!) and tells him that she will come home, as long as there’s someone to come home to. (the idea that she sees him as ‘home’ hits Sideswipe for 100pts of emotional damage)

It’s their first ‘official’ date and a bit of a bumpy start, but he starts to get his mojo back (unironically, he would have that Homer Simpson DO IT FOR HER style board except w/things related to Strongarm) and they make it a point to chat every day, and she can see him getting better/he can see her being more emotionally open.

She gets her first ‘intimate’ kiss from Sides the moment she comes back banged up but in one piece, bluescreens for a few seconds due to uh, ✨mental overheating✨, and promptly goes back to collect seconds.

#inbox #SHIT I RAMBLED HUH #Save for later

[bumbleblurr]

ppl be like tfa autobots are so so evil and fucked up the decepticons are the good guys like bro both factions suck did we miss the part that the decepticons often needlessly put innocents in danger for funzies all the time

#like yes. the autobots DEFINITELY got some fucked up shit going on #but like. as I've said the decepticons will hurt ppl #not for the greater good but just fucking because #and literally to become a decepticon u have to be painfully branded to be one #and megatron is very willing to kill off his loyal subordinates INCLUDING SHOCKWAVE if it benefits only himself #like yeah theres the whole thing abt megatron repeatedly saying ''the autobots oppressed us'' and stuff #but you have to realize the tf writers are. REALLY BAD at writing civil rights shit ngl #and ive kinda always hated the ''decepticons are actually fighting for civil rights'' since they're also portrayed as being malicious #and as ive said. needlessly endanger people and often do it just bc they want to hurt ppl #so the best way to look at this for me is just. both factions fucking suck !!!! #theyre both full of bad ppl #but yeah. shruggies they also got good ppl there too #however good ppl are not the ones in power for either of these factions bro #🐝 could you repeat the last part? 🟦 #i forgot to add the detail that depicting ppl advocating for civil rights as violent and unreasonable ppl is just. really bad #tf franchise keeps doing this tho bc they just CANNOT handle decepticons very well ://

[miraculousmaladys]

TFP If You Ship...

Ultra Magnus

I would also like to warn yall, I do roast the shit outta these ships and you. Some of y'all are nasty and need to be told/reminded, and some of you need to stay far the fuck away from me. Aight? Aight lets begin.

MagOp/OpMag/Magnimus/ Ultra Magnus x Optimus Prime: You pretentious bitch. You absolute fucking- I have no fucking words to describe how beige you are. You 're personality is plain oatmeal. Message me. I want to beat your ass. You prolly like them for the fact that they can relate to each other, and because of their importance to the war. But I hate you cause you also have more content. Fuck you. May your cereal turn soggy before you can eat that shit, may your drawing tablet get so hot in that one corner that you can fry bacon on that bitch. Fuck you.

MagMeg/Magatron(ew)/ Ultra Magnus x Megatron: you eat mayonnaise with a fucking spoon. Y'all saw that one scene with them on Darkmount and was just like "hm, but what if fuck?" and ran with it. You went to Ao3 expecting kinky shit, but all you got was stuff for IDW Megs and Mags and honestly baby, its gon' be okay.

Matchet/Ragus?/ Ultra Magnus x Ratchet: Yes we get it, the old man can dom now shut the fuck up. If taking your S/O to the nursing home as a date was a ship it'd be these old crotchety ass bitches. But, but, on a more serious note this ship can be so therapeutic for both mechs. These two were there way before the start of the war, they lived through it, and they knew Optimus all throughout. I imagine Ratchet would tell Magnus about Orion before his ascension to the primacy. I ain't ever been more depressed scrolling through a tag though, y'all broke bitches need whatever the fuck UltraScreen is having.

Magbee/Ultra Bumble/Ultra Magnus x Bee: I ain't ever seen two same heighted Cybertronians in a relationship, always one of'em gotta be spike suckin' height.

UltraJack/ Ultra Magnus x Wheeljack: Listen, listen, both these mechs love their solitary time and it can create so much angst, SO MUCH. Magnus feeling he must uphold his duties and Wheeljack having a mindset similar to a pirate. His spark belongs to the stars AND Magnus, but the stars will always come first. But bitch this is Ultra Magnus. We horny. We know Wheeljack is a fucking brat, and Ultra Magnus is his Dom.... baby we nasty. We nasty and there is no fucking denying that shit my GOD.

Ultrabulk/ Ultra Magnus x Bulkhead: Listen man as crazy as this might sound, I think this could work. Just like any other ship with Bulkhead you are fucking STRUGGLING though dude, you got like 5 fics you keep coming back to. You cry at night, knowing, and praying, that the gods will smile upon you and bless you with an update. You know you struggling when you only got three fics that have this ship as the focus. If y'all ban together I'm sure you can scrounge together like three pieces of fanart and a lint roller between the four of you.

UltraScream/ Ultra Magnus x Starscream: I don't see how anyone could hate this ship. Like, they literally work as really good foils to each other. You've got Magnus who is loyal as fuck, very militaristic??? And very much involved with the safety of his team. He's described as recklessly brave. Starscream on the other hand has a lot of character to work on and Magnus could help him along with that, and he can teach Magnus self preser- fucking-vation because Mr. "gets fucking chomped by a predacon for another bitchass Autobot" needs it. You're fuckass wants someone to save you, or you want to go absolutely apeshit. You are the mom friend everyone is worried about.

Ultracee/ Ultra Magnus x Arcee: Huh?? I mean like....Okaaaayy?? I mean good for you. This ship makes me feel the way that you feel when someone offers you candy you don't like, but you wouldn't mind eating it so you do. To be honest the people who ship this definitely see diamonds in places others wouldn't expect, but like you're so fucking unnessecary oh my god. Like you prolly add weird ass comments to other peoples statements, ain't nobody out here asking for an echo. Sit down.

UltraShock: ya like'em thicc don't you commanding officer Ultra Magnus? Anyway maybe y'all could team up with UltraBulk shippers and add a pile of used soda cans to the pile. Y'all are ghosts, do you even exist on this plane. My guesstimate on how many people actually ship this forreal is like 5.

Ultrawave/MagnusSound/Magnus x Soundwave: Listen if the Ultrabulk shippers are starving y'all ain't even corporeal. I show up to this ship with a fucking ghost talk box and some heat sensors, and like one boombox tryna see if GHOSTS even inhabit this bitch. Y'all aight? Are y'all good?? HELLO IN THERE (hello in there) (hello in there). Yall really go all out for the goth shit. Prolly hidin' in the shadows of my house waiting to strike.

Ultrascreen:

You, and I mean this in the most (derogatory) way possible, are a fucking

HOE

Literally looked on AO3 saw nearly NOTHING BUT kinky MF PORN. The oooonly plot y'all got is exactly how long Ultra Magnus can deny Smokescreen an overload. Why every time it comes to Magnus people make this by the books vanilla bitch the kinkiest one. YES I love subverting expectations but can I PLEASE get one fic where he sputters because his partner says a bad word. These two are the main ones who get this treatment, and baby I ain't complaining, but please. Please just- please sir I-I a-ah!

Ultradown: The UltraBulk, and UltraWave shippers come here every year, at the exact same location, at the exact same time, all for this ritual. The UltraWave shippers take out a boombox, some energon candies, and a supersized Cybertronian false spike. The UltraBulkers begin to sing the incantation to summon their fallen comrade: https://youtu.be/m9We2XsVZfc. They must do this once every year, they must battle the UltraDown shippers, though most would say they are a myth, the UltraShock and UltraWave shippers know better.

MagnusOut/KnockMagnusOut?/Ultra Knockout: Listen its not as horny as Smokescreen but the constant tension is definitely there. Knockout is just as horny as the depressed, RE-pressed ass Magnus fans and can you really blame him? Boyfriend? Dead. Magnus? kinky. Hotel? California.

/If I missed any let my gay ass know. Sorry if this ones lackluster, but some of these ships don't even really seem to have a fanbase?? Remember that these are TFP ships y'all.

Also I better see more Bulkhead content after this. Do you all have a problem with truly thicc bootyful babes or what?

#Ultra Magnus #transformers prime #TFP if you ship #Ultra Magnus x Optimus Prime #Ultra Magnus x Megatron #Ultra Magnus x Ratchet #Ultra Magnus x Bumblebee #Ultra Magnus x Wheeljack #Ultra Magnus x Bulkhead #Ultra Magnus x Starscream #Ultra Magnus x Arcee #Ultra Magnus x Shockwave #Ultra Magnus x Soundwave #Ultra Magnus x Smokescreen #Ultra Magnus x Breakdown #Ultra Magnus x Knockout #valveplug

[reel-fear]

bumblebee is used as the kid appeal character in practically every continuity. not only does he have a close friendship with at least one of the human companions (in media that has human companions), he's also written as the youngest of the main group of autobots in order to be more relatable to children. i'm not quite sure where you got the part about him canonically being an adult. if you're gonna say something about him being thousands of years old or whatever, that can't really be used here. cybertronians have way longer lifespans than humans, so they're not gonna go from minor to adult at 18 years old like humans. there's also what you said about bulkhead. having advanced knowledge of one particular thing doesn't necessarily mean a character HAS to be an adult. they definitely can be, but that's not absolute confirmation. after all, raf in transformers prime was a computer whiz and an expert hacker. most kids his age wouldn't know much about any of that, so does that make him an adult? also, like... where was the harassment lol. where did they insult you. they weren't even comparing you specifically to l*lis, they were just saying that the argument people use to justify bl*tzbee is the same one people use to justify l*lis. if people are like, legitimately harassing you, insulting you, threatening you over this, that's their fault for thinking it was ok to do, not littlemisstfp's fault.

they dropped my @ several times, publicly shat on me and gave me no chance to even reply. THEY EVEN ADRESSED IT WOULD'VE BEEN EASY TO NOT PUBLICLY MAKE THAT POST AND TALK TO ME PRIVATELY. It was an impulsive disgustingly awful move to make and yes they did compare me to ppl who like l*lis just by bringing it up.

Anyways if ur gonna tell me tfa bee is a child who has a job nearly got into the military, got stabbed on screen, was shown heavily drinking on screen [which the crew was totally okay with] and got seduced on screen. Well then to put simply the tfa production crew should be absolutely totally fucking ashamed of themselves for never addressing that ever or having anyone express concern over it in the show and tfa is a disgusting show that allowed that shit to happen. We should bring this up to the main writer on twitter and also ask why the main artists drew a pretender bee that looks like this as opposed to the other one that resembles a child that canon already said isnt canon

also if u guys tell me I was defending blitzbee again Im gonna break something, its so clear u guys dont actually think tfa bees a child u just hate blitzbee and want a reason to hate it. Im not a blitzbee shipper it literally just stopped being a ship that upset me to even hear mentioned. This about Littlemisstfp using fandom drama to be a piece of shit to me and the way u guys infantilize Bulkhead and Bee for the simple thing of having symptoms of adhd/autism and no canon evidence to back up the claim they are children when all the evidence clearly shows if they were children TFA Among other things: Never chose to address cybertron having child soldiers while exposing the other ways the autobots were corrupt so ig the crew just doesnt mind that?? Or didnt see it fit to put in the book that also exposed the autobots for literally using slaves?? Just wasnt a big priority??

showed an underaged character being seduced stabbed and getting heavily drunk and none of the characters question this so the entire tfa autobot crew is totally find with that.

put Prowl a clear adult as he fought in the same war so old its what gave ratchet ptsd pouncing on a blushing child. So I guess he's a canon creep and everyones okay with that.

Showed Bulkhead as some sort of super child genius?? Ig they kinda did that with Sari but at least they justified it Bulkhead can build one of the most important things on cybertron in just a few weeks he's like. Really Really knowledgable on this stuff he could make a huge living doing this. Nobody questions that like they questioned Sari on it though not even Ratchet?

Ratchet got angry they used omega supreme as a weapon bc the elite guard made him at an intellect too low to be able to think abt the actions he carried out. Almost like Ratchet was angry they were sending someone immature or young to war? I guess he only care abt it when its a huge mech tho bc he doesnt care abt Bee or Bulkhead being child soldiers so his character gets absolutely destroyed. He's willing to defy the government to save oil slick but not for literal children going to war?

edit: OH ANOTHER THING, Optimus at some point suggests that in a last stitch effort they could try to use Sari as a weapon. Ratchet strikes this down HARD. Once again Ratchet is totally against but also okay with child soldiers? And Optimus only cares abt children when they're organic n tiny ig-

Wasp is a child who went to jail and Ironhide got into the military, theres no questioning of this either. maybe the production crew just really hates children like they hate beachcomber.

SO no matter how u look at it, if bee was a child. Tfa would be a much different show. It would make the crew look AWFUL if this was the case and once again I have not seen any evidence for this that is actually well... Evidence? Meanwhile I've got even more points to make if u wanna fire at me buddy. I'll go at this all day.

#ramblez

[schiste-argileux]

Idw Prowl is an evil SOB (took him two years to send the Wreckers to Garrus-9 and help Maxy (who was protecting all the war crimes the Bots did), put Maxy’s torturer and a war criminal on board the Lost Light cuz why not, sent Pharma to Delphi knowing it was DJD territory)

Prowl... Prowl’s creation and competence in his area of work is astounding. He is brilliant, creative, and defiantly apathetic of this world. But, he is very human in his own way. IDW Prowl is selfish, yet not. He is a unique in that aspect because most people make decisions like his for the sole reason of benefiting themselves. But Prowl’s sole reason of existing is to create PEACE. 

Peace. Peace can only be done when people are complacent, happy, and satisfied. When things are stationary. Stable. 

But life is never stable. Elements desire to form bonds, yet are almost always leaning towards to instability... Prowl’s form of PEACE is a world where there is no fighting. But everything sentient requires to fulfill its desires. As long as there is desire, people will fight. 

A world of PEACE would be a world of full control, there are no surprises, no change. Safety, routines, and constants. No creativity, no development... nothing. stagnant. 

But I must admire Prowl’s tenacity and dedication to this world! 

He sacrifices everything for the sake of the directive, preserve cybertron, PEACE. He sacrifices his morals (Robot Gets Bullied By a Human), his dignity (Recent News, Cop Accepts Orgy For The Means of Establishing Peace, his body (Recent News, Cop gets Molested by A Spider for The Autobot Cause), and of course, thousands of lives (Not Recent News). :D Prowl respects and understands that there will always be chaos and instability, and he is so very flexible around it all! He literally can maximize everything and anything he has. He is the embodiment of consequentialism with a lil dash of politics. I wish my group project members were 1% as productive as him! Prowl tries to put everything black and white, and he gets upset when things get far more tricky, and wants to get everything in control so people can stay safe and remain in peace and not fight! And that’s a respectable goal! Control can be good, it means one understands and is able to retain themselves and the thing they are controlling. But Prowl doesn’t want to accept that there are things out of his control. And Prowl likes to think he’s justified when he controls the uncontrollable. 

I mean, yeah, if he didn’t do what he did, the autobots would have been six feet under A LOT EARLIER. Optimus is not a good leader, preserving organic life over his own soldiers? Psh. Look at Spike, he’s got valid points and can I understand why he left the ‘bots. Prowl’s probably thinking everyday, DAMN, OP, WHY R U SO DUMB. LISTEN WE NEED TO FEED OUR SOLDIERS AND PRIORITIZE OUR SPECIES LIVES INSTEAD OF THIS FUCKING CARBON BASED CIRCLE. HELLO??? And literally Prowl could have been like I’m gonna get ya assassinated so I CAN HAVE IT MY WAY. But Prowl was BORN for the RULES. To follow, to MAKE PEACE. Killing the prime figurehead is against that, even if it would make his life way easier! (hence, not that selfish and also sad that your life is the rules. That’s a short leash, but he makes due)

Honestly I feel bad for Prowl. Must suck to be so big brain that everyone hates you when you say the truths (but also you could learn some more tricks from Jazz to be nicer and hide the truth, but that’s scary because a nicer prowl means more people he can trick and use. Thanks Prowl for being so straightforward! Now people can avoid you easier). He's so straightforward about things that need to be done, he’s in constant denial about the grey area of life!

That’s why when Spike slapped Prowl with reality slaps, Prowl lost some of his shit. Remember, nearly everyone had the edgy depressed time in their teens or young adult years where you realize the world is truly unfair and nothing is black and white? Yeah. Slap that on a 6+ million year old robot with a battle computer and is capable of big brain CPU-age, and was literally built for the sole purpose of enforcing rules and making peace? And no one really cared about Prowl enough to understand him and his background. So Prowl goes through his angst moment alone with his huge titties, frustrated. THIS. IS. WHY. YOU. COMMUNICATE. YA DINGUS. 

Prowl doesn’t become a school shooter like Pharma cuz hes got bigger brain and a lot more power and control over himself, but he literally becomes Shadow The Hedgehog (Even if the world’s against me I’ll fight like I’ve always have). HE’S GONE ROGUE. MA’AM, SIR, THE FUCKING OREO COOKIE HAS TRANSFORMED AND ROLLED OUT.  like. OP was the one thing holding prowl back, which was good! But now prowl’s on the roll and bumblebee is too nice and passive to hold him back. + the bombshell brainwash? feels so bad. being prowl sucks. because Prowl is a necessary evil. 

At least he’s wonderfully blunt about his goal to create a peaceful cybertron, which makes it easier if you want to avoid him or smth. meanwhile you have fake people IRL that smile their way through and then slit your throat and you won’t even know it was them (hey jazz, no offense, but that’s what spec ops does). Fakers are the scariest enemy, but Prowl is still a threat, just not as big as a someone who fluffs you up on a balloon and then pops it. Prowl would just be like, hey, you’re really useful, come over here in my white van i wanna show you something and then maybe you get destroyed. But hey! You were the one with the highest chance of surviving compared to other people! Isn’t that great? You’re so skilled WOW. (Prowl gets punched. Again!) Prowl represents the necessary evil in society. We WILL ALWAYS HAVE EVIL people in this world. But Prowl is a far better evil than people who do evil for their own selfish reasons. It’s like how we have law enforcers and politicians . It’s basically giving them legal rights to do illegal things (lmao). BUT we need them regardless. We need those people to get their hands dirty, possibly killed, so that people can live in innocence and peace. 

I don’t think Prowl ever realized that he was a necessary evil, and when Spike showed him that, he was bitter. But he accepted it. Which I respect because most people can’t be bothered to understand themselves and just throw themselves in denial, and point fingers for their flaws. Prowl sucks up and understands who he is, and he makes the best of it to achieve his goal.  I mean, honestly? Prowl is probably a miracle worker. Not in a Ratchet sense. But look at the way modern governments run, nothing gets done, everything is stalled because no one has the guts to make sacrifices. Prowl would have gotten a shit ton of things done, man, and take quick efficient action. Even if he sacrifices many things for it.  (Warning. I do not condone any taking of lives, NO ONE has the right to judge whenever a person should live or die.)  Prowl reminds me of 秦始皇 (Qin Shi Huang), the king who unified China and sacrificed millions to make the Great Wall, canals, and road systems that last to this day. If it wasn’t for these accomplishments, China wouldn’t have been what it is today. Was it a good thing? For the future residents of China? Hell yeah. But the costs? Those are sins that can never be erased, and they are horrible and shouldn't be done ever again. Was it necessary? Perhaps. But that’s another discussion. Is Prowl evil? Depends on your definition of evil. Perhaps he’s justified, perhaps in his world, he’ll go down as the Qin Shi Huang of the Cybertronians. Regardless, Prowl like Pharma, is an EXCELLENT example to study on public ethics, and administrative officials should analyze him and learn from his mistakes and sins.  I think Prowl is not evil in a sense that he wishes to harm others, but evil in a sense of his apathy. Prowl is a necessary component to a functional society (someone to plot, to use people, to enforce rules even if some are sacrificed, someone who can get their hands dirty). He lives a terrible and sad fate, and I do not wish ANYONE to live a life like Prowl’s or look up to Prowl. Yes, he’s so clever and brilliant, but that kind of power will make you the loneliest person on Earth.

Thanks Prowl for taking the entire load of sin on your shoulders! Big MVP! You get nothing from the world except hate and contempt.  I would go on about him more but I have IRL stuff to do. I love Prowl as an example to tell people that MODERATION. COMMUNICATION. AND COMPASSION are important factors to have a healthy and good mental state. Prowl is the perfect example of someone who doesn’t want to empathize (haha so many people are like this today), who doesn’t want to try to use more braincells and friends help to make better plans that are more moderate and not extreme, and who doesn’t want to talk to anyone thinking its a waste of time or have difficulty explaining things.  BUT I LOVE G1 PROWL because he has far more patience and manners, and doesn’t take a darker, route for his goals. awhohdohd he’s baby,,, i wish all cops had patience and manners and in general open-minded yet cautious enough not to be taken advantage of,,,, perhaps then we wouldn’t have so much polarization and fighting with authority in this world.... 

uwuwwuwuwuw they did prowl so dirty in idw WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ;____;   Again, you are welcome to disagree or agree! I wrote this really quickly so I’m sure there will be points that could be clarified or edited. Prowl’s really complicated and I do not like to talk about current IRL problems, but Prowl represents a lot of problems in society. And I think it’s critical if we try to look at both perspectives to get an understanding on WHY people do these things, and is there a solution to AVOID making those same mistakes? There’s a couple of controversial things in this short essay I wrote, esp. about cops IRL. So feel free to have at it! Or ignore it! Whichever is more comfortable for you! Thanks for coming to my ted talk! Again, Prowl is a bad influence and a sorrowful life to live. please do not try to be like prowl. xD I won’t intrude on you if you do, because you have a right to live the life you want as long as you’re not hurting other people’s interests and wellbeing! 

#prowl #transformers #idw #asks #omfg #prowl is so horrible to write about #ugh #oof #idw prowl is the bane of my existence #i love g1 prowl

[plokoonsdisapprovingeyebrows]

liveblogging some Cyberverse episodes here instead of on twitter bc twitter’s everything is pathetic. :D I haven’t done this in years haha

EPISODE 3

skipped the first 2 eps bc i bounced hard off them a couple years ago skhfdgk. bee and windblade were never exactly my Faves lol.

episode opens with a goddamn cool ship!! ugh i love the forward wings! Also bee being a super distracted driver is hilarious omfg. I dont believe that man has a drivers license lmfao

ummmmmm the allspark is talking??? yeah id be creeped out too be lmfao

starscream’s alt mode lowkey looks like a moth??? from a certain angle at least. thats actually cool.

this op’s va is definitely trying to sound like peter cullen (actually succeeding pretty well!) and imo it wouldn’t be bad at all if his lines actually sounded like speech and less like proclamations. actually that’s an issue with a few of the other characters too, he’s just the most obvious.

im definitely spoiled by tfp’s fight scenes, this one had hardly any weight to it XD

OP YOTE THE ALLSPARK INTO THE BRIDGE SKHFKDHG

EPISODE 4

holy shit i love wheeljack lmfao

GRIMLOCK GOT TENTACLED?????? LMAO WHAT??

omfg Optimus is a) SUCH a dad, and b) SUCH A DAD. ugh i love him praising the Autobots, and him gently redirecting Wheeljack after the explosion was such a joy skhdfkgjhd

Those critters are kinda cute! I sort of understand OP’s hesitance at using the energon, especially if the deposit was only very small - does it really make ethical sense to take the perhaps only energy source of a population of creatures for a potential gain of, what, maybe days? (At least this is the interpretation I’m going with lol)

EPISODE 5

Bee’s waking up on a snowy mountain with a goat. Where are u bee?

Oh, the Himalayas. XD Ok thats fair lol, mountain wildernesses are good for hiding shit.

holy shit bee getting distracted watching infomercials and game shows is a mood skfjhkj

ohmygod windblade u have wings, just fuckin fly away

“What was your name again” WINDBLADE OMFG

ok the choreography of the fights is rly off, someone is always making stupid mistakes or not taking opportunities and the overall effect is just meh, manufactured suspense.

EPISODE 6

holy shit im skipping a bit i just cringed into oblivion

[headdesks] ok OP wtf? “I do not intend to start a fight” promptly does so anyway. 

SHOCKWAVES ANGRY EYEBROW OMFG. 

ok I love TFP starscream’s voice but this one is good too! XD he sounds so smug and judgey in every single line skhfkdhj

Ok, again, children’s show, but there was no depth in that exchange. Megatron’s got the Villain Stick and he’s hanging firmly to it, OP has no nuance and his writing is hanging just as firmly to the Hero Stick. 

also I’m having trouble taking Megatron seriously because his goddamn head looks like its squeezing out of his tiny braincase and every single time he looks straight at the camera I L A U G H. He’s got a good voice tho! Hasn’t got the bombacity and charisn’tma of TFP, but it’s nice and threatening nevertheless.

EPISODE 10

im skipping ahead a bit bc i saw a pic of maccadam on tfwiki and oops he’s hot lol. 

NO REGRETS LOL. SURPRISE BEE TO THE FACE LMAO

ahhhh the landscapes are so pretty, or at least that one was <333

fuck i cant deal w that Ratchet’s voice lmao

I enjoy this interpretation of Grimlock more than I thought I would XD. I love the meathead Grimmies A Lot but nerdjock Grim is cool too!

god soundwave dancing is amazing but then his BACKUP DANCERS fuckin kill me omfg skdhjfjh

hmmm ppl have been selling me on the megop in this but so far i aint feeling it lol. gimme a few more episodes and lets see XD

wheeljack/shockwave science buddies?? YES.

...mmmmmm friendship ended with alpha trion, i simp for maccadam now

DEADLOCK?????????? OK HES PRETTY!!!

aaand i still cant take Megs weird pinched head seriously lmfao, he looks like a sausage w half the stuffing squeezed out kjdhfkjh

UHHHH IM HERE FOR ELDRITCH GIANT MACCADAM???? EVEN HOTTER SKDFJ

“Find the king of the dinosaurs!” “Uhh, what’s a dinosaur?” I love that so much skdfhj

ok gonna stop there bc i zoned out and missed all of ep 12 lmfao. will do some more tomorrow, unless my brain comes back and I get to write skjhfjd

#tf cyberverse #kem watches cyberverse

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Transformers RID2015 final review!!;

Oh boy. This was a long time coming. Let's go over what I gotta say about this show!

*pls note all these are my opinions, and may contain swearing/spoilers.

Pros!!;

Some bad guy designs. Take for example bots like Thunderhoof or Stockade, who genuinely look SO good? (I particularly like the rusty nail cigar detail on Stockade, THAT was some good shit).

The voice acting, on the whole, was VERY good. Yes there were a few bots who shook me (like Ped, that shit made me spit out tea), but honestly? I was impressed for the most part. 

Sideswipe.

Minicons. No seriously, 97% of minicons in this show were ADORABLE! My only complaint is that they didn’t get more screen time, if anything.

 The whole ‘camouflage’ thing they did? SO good, SO creative. They did other such creative stuff like this, (recalibrating optics, Springload’s acid skin, alloy hives, Uv lights, etc. cool shit).

How they made so many decepticons look like animals. Call me a furry, but I honestly like transformers designed to be animals. Thunderhoof, Steeljaw, Saberhorn, Stockade, and Zizza are particularly ones I enjoy.

 Denny. I demand he be in the next dream daddy update immediately.

Bumblebee’s night off. Literally all of it.

The fact that NO bot is spared from stupidity/awkward moments. Decepticons, autobots, don’t matter, everyone’s fucking gay and stupid. Fucking great.

Bumblebee’s failed rallying cries. So cringy, and I feel like they REALLY signified his growth as a leader.

Battlemasks. Seriously, I LOVE how there’s more of them in this series. I just wished they had more, especially for the baddies. Bad guys deserve to look cool dammit. 

Sideswipe’s OBVIOUS crush on Jazz. Fuck outta here with that Sideblade shit.

'Guilty as charged'.Literally everything about it. The twists, the background, the fact that they MADE AN AUTOBOT A BAD GUY. So fucking good of an episode.

Cons!!;

The constant references to tfp. The nods to tfp are few and far in between, but they do exist. One would think this is a plus, and the idea itself is, but RID focuses on all the wrong things. Like in the episode, ‘History lessons’, they bring up the base, but never really delve into the history of it, choosing to focus on the bad guys.

The character design. This isn't for ALL of them, but this show has an awful habit of making some characters too big. Take for example, Optimus. His thickness works against him, as it removes the lack of details that made him so GORGEOUS in tfp.

The re colors/clones. I get it, reusing some assets saves money. But the colors tend to be just awful, and most designs are VERY hit and miss. Aka Airachnid.

Bringing up tfp again. Now I'm not going to be like ‘oh tfp was first= better’, because the first isn't always better. What I hate is the fact that RID sort of ignores tfp for the most part, despite being only FIVE years apart. I feel like if they made this a separate continuity or MUCH later time wise, this wouldnt annoy me so much.

Episodes are honestly 90% filler. Like armada, it's very gimmicky, using a LOT of episodes to sell toys. The plot of the show is really just ‘catch decepticons’, vs tfp, where the challenge changed in pretty much every episode.

Speaking of decepticons, I hated how they made so many. Don't get me wrong, I love variety, but I feel like the designs of these random baddies took up WAY too much time, especially to just have them thrown out after one appearance.

Thunderhoof. I know, queen of hoof thirst, saying this. Let me explain. I LOVE him, but like many decepticons in this series, he was more or less ignored. Don’t get me wrong, he was given more time compared to most, and that I appreciate, but they gave him SUCH a background of a mafia boss, only to just demote him for the sake of Steeljaw. I was just honestly offended that they didn't do more with him when they could've (though DAMN he was hot in Decepticon Island Part 2, and his introduction episode).

Characters do not progress very much. Strongarm and Sideswipe somewhat did, Bumblebee as well, but I wasn't truly believing a character grew up for the most part.

 Decepticon hunters. I just don’t understand them. At the beginning, they were neat tools, but combining them just suddenly made everyone way too OP. I don’t understand it, and I don’t really like it.

This brings me to the topic of weapons. In G1 they did the handheld weapons, and that worked, given it was G1, but this is canonically AFTER tfp, so removing those weapons doesn't make sense, and it’s honestly kinda fucking lame. This is a HUGE gripe for me tbh. It wasn’t even that they couldn't, bots like Fracture had built in blades and the like, so ultimately, what's the excuse?

 Octopunch and Clampdown. Kill them with fire. 

‘Even robots have nightmares’. Not the entire episode, just the fact that Chop shop’s moment of kindness in that episode wasn't really explored, and the missed opportunity there ACTUALLY upset me. Even bad guys deserve redemption.

Speaking of, I hate the fact that only Grimlock got redemption. Yes tfp also didn't have much luck in converting the baddies, but there were at least ATTEMPTS, and I feel like having those attempts turned the black white and sides onto a more gray area, and sort of showed the audience that no one was inherently BAD. If they had that in this series, I’d be MUCH more into this.

Minasaur. Was just such a waste of time. Decent design, but the character was shit. He apparently destroyed an actual solar system or some shit, and yet, he can't properly control his combined form for two seconds.

Stunticons. They were decent looking in design, I'll give them that, but they were wasted, and rushed. RID has enough bad guys that desperately needed attention, adding these new ones was a choice that really made this show a struggle to watch.

'Prisoners Principles'. The way they covered the legal rules of Prisoners wasn't too bad. What WAS bad was the normalized brutality of Clampdown. Now I hate the fuck, but he's a willing prisoner. Bots like Strongarm and Sideswipe willingly putting him in danger just REALLY seemed like boot kissing. Don't appreciate it.

The episode with Dropforge kinda made me realize something. That the whole situation with the government could've been covered a LOT sooner. If they were going to touch on it, at ALL, they should've done it properly. You could've literally scrapped the stunticons and replaced it with issues of Cybertron's justice system. It would have saved them money on voice actors, and the thought of collaboration between Cybertron and earth would've been GOOD shit. It would've been a good opportunity to bring in Dropforge, who was genuinely a cool character.

Ratchet meeting Optimus. Was so disappointing, so lackluster, and really, really undermined their relationship in tfp.

There was SO many musical talents for some fucking reason. Sideswipe, Jazz, Steeljaw, Thunderhoof- all VA's were singers, and they did NOTHING with that.

The way the council was handled. I couldn't remember a time where I've ever given less of a shit about their characters. You fucked up CYCLONUS. How the fuck you gonna ruin CYCLONUS.

There's a specific post talking about this shows villian problem (written by my buddy bae, give em a follow), and there's lots of points i agree with; https://baebeyza.tumblr.com/post/190875674229/robots-in-disguise-2015-and-the-villain-problem.

They also made this post that I think has some solid points; https://baebeyza.tumblr.com/post/621992774922797056/rid15-and-what-it-could-have-been-waited-foruys of the episode. 

So all in, this show is....okay. I've seen it twice now, and both times, they have something in common; they're exhausting to go through. Don't get me wrong, it has some good moments, really does. But on the whole, this show wastes a LOT of your time. I don't think it's too much to say that you could cut at least 30% of content, and STILL get to the plot. For a show, that's a LOT. This is a show you should definitely NOT start this franchise with. Treat yourself, watch TFP or TFA. Maybe even beast wars. Just...not this.

Final verdict: 6/10.

#reviews #final #RID2015

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 30

30 issues wow...forget the fact that I skipped like 5 issues of crossover event nonsense

another big ole swerve recap omg

this trial is so messsyyyyyyyyy lmao 

hvbajdfbahsjkfdbhjs starscream listening to meagtrons speech looking like ‘hmmmmmmm I may have miscalculated’ 

prowl looks pissed af meanwhile optimus just looks dead inside lmao

I mean. megatron kinda does have a point. this is like, the most biased, conflict of interests lookin trial of all time, in that all the major participants have some sort of long, complicated history with each other. what a mess

optimus, listening to megatron’s speech: wow this is worse than divorce court was

oh shit I totally forgot that those decepticons attacked the trial 

MAGNUS HAMMER AYYYYYY

a guy saying ‘objection!’ as optimus prime punches half his face off...that pretty much sums up idw op lmao 

op: oh thank god, I can punch shit now. I'm not cut out for this bureaucracy nonsense

megatron: thanks, random decepticon, for the attempted rescue, but I'm super old and I just want to nap so no thanks

random decepticon: wtf- [gets murdered by optimus prime]

I love op’s big ass antennae 

meanwhile, brainstorm goes to a bar and instead of buying anything, pulls out his own drink. I feel like that isn't allowed in most bars, or is at least frowned up vbsjdhfbhjdkfn. ily brainstorm 

also? big ass mood I was so broke last time I was on a barhopping vacation w/friends that I brought a cheap giantass bottle of mixed drink in my backpack and just drank that at all the bars lmao

WHIRLLLL I love his humansona sm. and also I love that whirl is into artsy french movies or w/e omg

brainstorm, drinking thru a wrist funnel: sorry I cant take my mask off rn it isn’t plot relevant yet

‘earthlets’ lmao

I love that rung is like, too pretentious to care that much about movies and would rather read earth books lol

and then bluestreak is like ‘yeah they have books...comic books’ can this man not read

I still cannot fuckign believe that the argument that got megatron out of a for-sure death sentence or w/e was ‘its not a war crime if we’re on the moon’ liiiiike what the actual hell lmao

also I love that, once again, we see magnus’s strict adherence to the law, technicalities and all

magnus: you cant really stop a trial and move it somewhere else where the laws are better suited to the outcome you desire

prowl: what are you, a cop? fuck off

also op being like ‘ok whatever all that doesn't matter...what DOES matter is that it would look bad for us to move the trial to cybertron in an obvious attempt to circumvent the rules, and public perception is what’s most important, fuck all that ‘morality’ bullshit’

meanwhile, rodimus is dead! and ambulon is also dead, which makes first aid sad, which makes ME sad

ayyy, rodimus is still alive! well, one rodimus is alive, at least 

rodimus and megatron really have the vibes of ‘stepfather and stepson forced to work together on a family road trip gone wrong after dad decided to sit this one out’ lmao

ah yes, ‘malaise’ the medical diagnostic term for ‘I don't feel so hot and idk why’ that practitioners like to throw under the ‘diagnostic notes’ section of lab orders to explain why they're ordering every blood test under the sun for a patient 

I love medical terminology. ANYWAYS

BE NICE TO MY BOY MEGATRON. 

rodimus: listen I have to come to terms with the fact that there's another version of me right here, and he’s DEAD, which means we can’t fuck, which is super lame 

I firmly believe that rodimus would be team ‘hell yeah id have sex with my AU self’ tbh 

I find it interesting that megatron is often casting blame for his actions onto others - here, he says that rodimus made him realize he doesn’t want to stop doing stuff w/his life, and then says that starscream forced his hand w/the whole ‘luna 2 law’ thing, and previously he’s said how whirl beating him up in jail is what led to him abandoning pacifism - take responsibility for your actions and decisions dude!

though he goes on to say here that he resorted to violence because he realized that the system that was in place could withstand everything else he would have tried to use to change it, which is super interesting 

megatron: okay, yes, I MIGHT have murdered billions, but I could help find us a new planet, which would be baller, sooooo...how about you co-opt your lame son’s frat boy ship and put me in charge? 

op: sounds fair to me. now how about we do some more Big Speeches before I make you somebody else’s problem

vbhdjskfbhaskdjf the ‘team rodimus’ lineup setup reminds me so much of the ‘together we make the ______’ meme with the different members being like, ‘the power’ ‘the gay’ ‘the awesome’ ‘the guy with no ears’ hbvhjdkfbs

chromedome: if I do this I could die

rodimus: that sounds like a you problem bro

‘this one time’ YEA RIGHT c'mon cd honor your dead husband’s wishes

omfg I forgot abt brainstorms ‘early early warning system’ lmao

I love nautica soooo much oh man

ooooof drift :( :( oh no

dead future rodimus!! uh oh is right

rodimus, known himbo: I'm sure I can defeat the inevitability of future events! all I have to do is cut my own arm off!

tailgateeeee he’s so cute...I love that he can tell stories of his daring escapades, just like at the beginning of mtmte, but this time its actually TRUE

OH SHITTTT GETAWAY

he looks so fucking sinister there lmao how are we NOT supposed to realize he has bad intentions from the get-go

‘you’ll make a prime one day’ well, getaway, you’re right about that at least...

cyclonus in the bg like 🤨🤔 at getaway

seriously I cant get over how getaway has such a slimy kinda vibe to him, like specifically in his interactions w/tailgate - this is before things even really take off but I'm still like TG GET AWAY (lol) FROM THIS GUY

cyclonus: somebody flirting with my crush? better go stare out a window instead of communicating absolutely anything to said crush about my feelings!

honestly I feel like, while megatron renouncing the decepticons and becoming an autobot is certainly interesting, it would be equally interesting for him to remain a decepticon but try to change the philosophy of the movement 

like, I get why op had him give that speech - to prevent the cons from trying to free megs again/thinking that he was being coerced into things (ironic considered he WAS coerced into giving that speech) - but it’s kinda the easy way our for megatron - being able to completely abandon the decepticon cause and not deal with it at all, and start over anew as an autobot

it would've been a lot harder to remain a con and try to reform what he has broken in the decepticon movement - but I think that would've been really interesting

though from a writing logistics standpoint, I get why jro didn't go for that bc we don't get a lot of other decepticons in the cast for that to work, and also megatron still definitely DOES have to face down all his mistakes w/the decepticons w/the djd and overlord and whatnot

anyways. I cant believe that all megatron had to do to join the lost light was make ONE speech denouncing the decepticons. like, they should've at least had him do a tiktok dance too or something, just to make it a really tough deal

I love the rodpod vbhjfsdkfbjaskjndfj

ok but I still don't really get the logic of making megs CAPTAIN like ouch. poor rodimus 

I feel like making megs a bartender at swerves or st would've been WAY more useful in showing him humility or w/e. OR it would've made him evil again, which, fair, 

ratchet: don't worry, we’ll medically poison him, it’ll be fine

ok but rodimus is right, this is SO messy, op wants to prove his ex husband isn't 100% evil so he’s like ‘ill let my rebellious son deal with him’ lmao god. I love this setup so much, its so wild

ratchet is also right, rodimus’s fuckup definitely pales in comparison to megatrons All That 

OH BRUTALLLLLLLL when ratchet says the list is fake ‘because my name’s not on it’ FUCKING OUCHHHHH

‘only bad guys say ‘unhand me” rodimus ily

omfg ‘we’ve practiced this’ of course they've done evacuation drills...magnus ily

lmao it’s the panel where it looks like rodimus and megatron are doing karaoke or having some sort of rap battle

and the lost light is GONE! oh shit!!!!

and there closes issue 30! once again we’ve gotten a lot of setup and exposition - which, while definitely necessary, means I don't have too much to say

I will say, throwing megatron onto the lost light has definitely mixed things up, and it’s interesting to see new dynamics already forming

so, until next time!

#lj rereads mtmte

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 35: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

S: It's like, we do get a view of what the robots seem like to the humans and it’s basically that they're massive dumbasses. 

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon.  I'm Owls.

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 35: Desertion of the Dinobots, Part 1. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Sure.

O: And I got a new mic! So hopefully I sound a little bit better because my headset mic was disappointing. 

S: You sound good to me.

O: [Laughter] I'm just hoping for an improvement, quite frankly. Today we open on a wide green field where a scientist is flying an unmanned drone via a remote.

S: The Autobots are, you know, very complimentary towards the- about the drones maneuvers and a few feet away Soundwave clearly wants a break from Decepticon shenanigans and is taking a nap in Ironhide's backseat with Blaster.

O: A very strange booty call, perhaps? 

S: Either that or him and Blaster just have, you know, scheduled naps in and, unbeknownst, to Ironhide he was their next meeting spot.

O: That seems rude to a coworker, but- but what do I know about Autobot co-worker shenanigans? Ravage then ejects from Soundwave, who is still a boom box, uh, before being detained by Blaster.

S: Did Blaster not want Ravage tattling about what they do in their downtime? 

O: Possibly. You mean boombox cuddling? Blaster kind of finishes transforming? He’s like half transformed grabbing Ravage and Soundwave gets bumped out of Ironhide before transforming himself and just flying off.

S: Oh and, to clarify, the entire scuffle with Blaster and Ravage is literally inside Ironhide's, um, caboose? 

O: Yeah they basically-

S: Trunk? I don’t know what-

O: [Laughter] The back part of his van. Basically, Ravage tackles Blaster and they sort of fall back into Ironhide. [Laughter]

S: Yeah. Yeah, it just makes the entire thing pretty awkward.

O: Why? You don't wake up with one of your mortal enemies in your backseat every day, Specs? 

S: Well, I sure as hell hope not.

O: [Laughter] 

S: So, you know, Ironhide it has some, you know,  junk going on in his- in his trunk, you see. 

O: Lord, not again. Why is it always Ironhide? It’s always Ironhide! [Laughter] 

S: He has a lot of space. 

O: This shot is just so awkward, anyway, it definitely looks like Ravage is topping Blaster inside of Ironhide and, I mean, I definitely believe that Ravage is probably a top but wow! That van is just rockin right there. [Laughter] And then Soundwave flies over to Megatron and Starscream who are hanging out upon a convenient verdant hillside.

S: And, honestly, they’re right in plain sight so I don't really get why no one notices them. The Autobots don't notice them. The humans don't notice them. Did they use an invisibility spray again or can we just see them because we're breaking the fourth wall?

O: Ah, I believe that's the power of plot convenience I smell. 

S: Starscream prepares to shoot the drone but Megatron knocks his arm down with a great bonk effect, saying something about needing to be more discreet. 

O: Discreet! You’re all standing out in the open! Soundwave was chilling in Ironhide five minutes ago, for Pete's sake!

S: Starscream says what we're all thinking, “Since when has discretion mattered to us?”

O: Megatron hands over something to him and says to use it on the drone.

S: And then, back to our opening scene, it appears Ironhide has woken up and would like to know what the fuck is going on. 

O: [Laughter] Ravage runs off and Blaster gets dumped on the ground as Ironhide transforms.

S: No one is having a good day.

O: No one is having a good day. [Laughter] 

S: Blaster explains this only as, “Rockin and rollin with savage Ravage,” which does not make it sound any less dirty. 

O: Nope.

S: Or less risque?

O: [Laughter] Ironhide exclaims that they need to tell Prime that, “Decepticons are afoot,” but considering we see the Autobots watching the drone which Starscream is flying directly over I feel like they should probably know already.

S: Yeah, I mean-

O: And- 

S: None of them have very good observational skills, let's just go with that.

O: No they don’t.

S: Except Perceptor. 

O: Yeah, but I don't think Percy's here today so they can't see shit. [Laughter] 

S: Percy's busy doing science. 

O: Percy’s, you know, busy doing his actual job, duh.

S: Man, speaking of the drone, it has a pretty weird design. Like, why does it have cockpits, let alone two? 

O: No freaking idea. Starscream drops the device Megatron gave him onto the drone and then it explodes.

S: Like what was the point of this entire thing? 

O: I don’t- don’t really know what this accomplished at all.

S: Yeah, yeah so Blaster and Ironhide run up to warn Optimus and then Blaster says that he just went three rounds with Ravage.

O: Jesus Christ. you two! This is a children’s show! [Laughter] 

S: So the Autobots roll out to check the wreckage because no one is going to address what Blaster just said.

O: [Laughter] No one- no one is going to address this. Okay!

S: Yeah and so along with them are: Jazz, Hound, and Mirage who were also, I guess, just hanging out doing whatever. 

O: Not fucking Ravage? [Laughter]

S: [Laughter]

O: But Megatron has a scheme while the Autobots are distracted. To which I say he could have just left Ravage in Ironhide’s back seat I feel like that was distracting enough but what do I know?

S: I don't know, man. And- and onwards to a very 80s lab in stylish Autobot orangey-yellow.

O: Don't you just hate it when you're working and the entirety of Decepticon High Command Kool-Aid Man's their way into your workspace?

S: Yeah and, honestly, Starscream just looks weirdly pale in this shot. Maybe imitating the Kool-Aid Man doesn't agree with him. 

O: See I think they just failed to get his makeup right for this shot, don't you?

S: Yeah, yeah, I think that's more likely.

O: [Laughter] 

S: Megatron tells the scientists to hand over the blueprints and he'll let them live.

O: Starscream gets mad and thinks Megatron's being soft and stomps in and picks up one of the scientists, threatening him with his null-ray.

S: It's like, Starscream, I'm not sure what that's- 

O: Helping? 

S: Yeah.

O: How is that helping? 

S: Yeah. The scientist just, like, points out where the blueprints are- are stored and then he's perfectly fine when Starscream just tosses them to the ground so, it’s like, okay? 

O: They go to open the vault, but the Autobots arrive. 

S: Why is the vault so big? Because it's, like, Decepti- it's like giant robot scaled.

O: They have extra big secrets to store inside? 

S: Oh god it's like the ‘her hair’s so big it's full of secrets.’

O: Except a door, a vault. Whatever.

S: Yeah. Oh and Jazz proceeds to distract Starscream with, you know, his loud music and light show.

O: But Megatron is apparently unaffected by this and goes to shoot the Autobots but then his fusion cannon is yanked off his arm by an invisible Mirage.

S: Mirage actually gets to use his ability today! 

O: What a concept.

S: Yeah.

O: And then Megatron basically runs over and kicks Mirage in the nads in an effort to grab his fusion cannon back from him.

S: No one's having a good day. [Laughter] 

O: [Laughter] No one is having a good day. 

S: And then Megs is then seen across the room, beckoning Soundwave and Starscream to follow him out of their Kool-Aid Man hole. 

O: Soundwave and Starscream clearly don't have any peripheral vision to speak of, you know, like the Autobots, and fly off- not noticing that the real Megatron is still very much in the same room as them and very much still trying to get this fusion cannon back from Mirage.

S: A fusion cannon and tug of war just doesn't seem to go well for anyone.

O: Right! Well, they're doing it from the sides, they're doing the smart thing where I don't think they're pulling on the actual barrel but, you know, while it’s pointed at them but still, yes.

S: Yeah, but yeah, you're right no one has peripheral vision or you know any observational skills. 

O: It was funny, too, when we were watching it, cuz even I was like, how the fuck did he get over there? And I totally thought it was an animation error. [Laughter]

S: I mean, if there was smoke or something you could forgive-

O: Yeah, yeah.

S: There is zero smoke. 

O: Yeah, there's nothing, like, you know, making it harder for them to see or anything. 

S: Yeah, and then Optimus comes in out of stage left, kicking Megatron, you know, in his keister, you know, through a wall. 

O: Megatron retreats. 

S: Now we suddenly cut to an amusement park, complete with carnival music and Ferris Wheels!

O: And after some shots of various carnival sites we are greeted with Bumblebee on the teacups with Spike and Carly.

S: This is, like, super poorly drawn but it's functioning like the teacup ride so I guess that's what we're calling it.

O: We gotta call it something. 

S: Or I think- yeah. Huh. Bumblebee is confused about why the ride is supposed to be fun until Carly, you know, just opens him up and turns off his equilibrium circuits.

O: Why-why does Carly know how to do that? Should I be concerned? 

S: She's a super genius and she is not afraid to, you know, effectively do internal surgery on her robot friends.

O: Ain't that the truth. The three of them seem to have a very full day planned as after they leave at the amusement park they go stop by the airport to pick up Sparkplug and, Oh God, Sparkplug is in a suit!

S: He's in a waistcoat, even! Why was he in a suit? Is he their legal representative? Or, perhaps, is he a more traditional flyer? 

O: [Laughter] Most interesting man in the world? 

S: Let's go with both.

O: Why not, why not? 

S: Spike sees two military jets fly into a hangar and questions why they're at a commercial airport.

O: Completely missing that their paint jobs clearly identify them as Thundercracker and Thrust. 

S: Oh god, maybe- maybe those are weirdly common paint schemes in their universe.

O: That- that would be strange. That would definitely be strange. 

S: It would be. I don't know. So, you know, Spike and company follow the mysterious jets and surprise! Decepticons! How did they even get out of the airport?

O: There wasn't airport security in the eighties, Specs.

S: That’s true.

O: Certainly not like there is now, anyway, besides they have, you know, the best pass in the world: the “My Best Friend is a Giant Alien Robot Pass” since Bee was in the airport with them.

S: Yes, but how did he get through the doors? 

O: Pfft- he got into an arcade, I'm pretty sure an airports no problem. Um, Bee calls Prime for backup but they're still cleaning up their mess at the lab they were out previously and Prime calls headquarters, instead.

S: Oh, they're just playing phone tag. So Optimus reaches Wheeljack and deems it necessary to let the Dinobots out of their baby closet.

O: Grimlock’s not happy about the orders, but Wheeljack asked nicely in his best dad voice and at the airport Bee and the Dinobots are then hiding behind a big passenger jet. 

S: God, Bee is so tiny compared to the rest of them, cuz he really comes up to their knees-

O: [Laughter]

S: But I imagine that the airport staff is having a conniption.

O: [Laughter] I would hope. Bee points to the helpfully labeled “Hangar” in all caps and tells the Dinobots the Decepticons are in there.

S: The Dinobots smash their way into the hangar, and into a bickering Starscream and Megatron. How did the airport staff not realize that-

O: Their entire warehouse or um, ware- it's not a warehouse-

S: -Hangar.

O: -Hangar was being used by evil robots? Who the fuck knows. 

S: Cuz, I mean, oh god, maybe someone was paying rent? 

O: I mean- Soundwave! Soundwave clearly set this up and was like- if we're paying rent, they won't bother us. I wouldn't blame him if that was the conclusion you reached.

S: Same!

O: [Laughter] So Slag proceeds to completely melt one of Starscream’s null-rays. 

S: No one's having a good day!

O: No one is having a good day.

S: Except maybe the Dinobots.

O: They get to destroy things.

S: Yeah. Outside Sludge saves Bumblebee by kicking Blitzwing into a wall.

O: Inside the hangar it gets Looney Tunes up in here with Snarl knocking over some barrels and the Seekers all falling on their faces.

S: That’s super Looney Tunes.

O: It's gonna get more Looney Tunes here in a moment.

S: Yeah. He also hits Rumble into Megatron and then they both fall backwards onto the computer console.

O: And Megatron just tosses Rumble off screen immediately afterwards.

S: I feel if I keep saying no one's having a good day we're just gonna be repeating that a lot so I'm gonna stop. 

O: [Laughter] 

S: Just take it as a given. Thundercracker and Thrust are taken out by Swoop and crash into the hangar, causing it to explode. And then Megatron pulls himself out of the wreckage. and orders an attack.

O: I mean, none of them are having a good day. Megatron's really not having a good day. 

S: Yeah. they’re- None of them are having a good day. At all.

O: The Dinobots have zero trouble with taking out the remaining four Decepticons by themselves because they’re the fucking Dinobots.

S: Yep, and Megatron ends up face-planting onto the floor of the airport terminal after Grimlock picks him up in his, you know, t-rex mouth and tosses him.

O: I mean, seriously, let's break this down: We've got the fusion cannon getting stolen, getting hit by Rumble, a building collapsing on him, and then getting picked up by a giant fucking t-rex! I'm just saying, that's a lot of things to pack into one day! 

S: Well, a few hours.

O: [Laughter] Yeah! Yes! It’s not even been a huge, long length of time. So he lands right in front of Spike and company and then, in the next shot, they're all outside. So did they gain teleporting powers? 

S: Maybe they just walked out the hole?

O: Past the passed out Megatron? That seems like a poor option, even if he is passed out.

S: I don't think some of them have very good survival instincts, ok.

O: [Laughter] Boy, do they not. The Dinobots returned to robot mode and Megatron and Skywarp shoot the passenger jets behind them, causing a massive explosion and sending all the Dinobots flying. 

S: I mean, that is a smart choice considering that, if they were entirely fueled up planes they'd have a hell of a lot of-

O: Fuel? Explosive fuel? Yeah.

S: Yeah. Megatron proclaims victory and not checking that the Dinobots are dead at all. 

O: Inferno, Hoist, and Red Alert show up and Hoist begins moving the Dinobots back to base.

S: By putting them into, like, one of the ruined planes and they tow it.

O: Right. I totally forgot about that.

S: It's- it seems like a really awkward way to transport your wounded.

O: [Laughter] It does, but they are so huge that I kind of understand it. So back in the Ark, Wheeljack, Ratchet, and Hoist are all trying to put the Dinobots back together.

S: And then they all wax poetic about mix- missing Cybertron and complain about the primitive tools they have to use.

O: Didn’t they- Didn’t you make them with those tools, Ratch? 

S: Yeah. Back at the airport, Powerglide is literally shitting bricks while him and Ironhide try to help repair the damage. Unfortunately, they are very bad.

O: It's like the worst building, ever. Grapple destroys it putting the roof on.

S: Did they even put a door in there? 

O: It really didn't look like it. It's funnier because Optimus seems like he's trying to direct Grapple and I want you to please envision Ro- Ron Swanson saying, “I know more than you,” for his response.

S: Yeah. Elsewhere, the Decepticons are all flying in the air before they all suddenly fall to the ground and Rumble and Ravage are both acting super strange. Ravage is running around and Rumble seemingly is not able to control himself and keeps punching Megatron.

O: Megs just sort of bats him away. I think this is, like, time number 4 getting tossed for poor Rumble this episode?

S: Yeah, poor guy’s just kind of a hacky sack. 

O: Little bit. You’re too tiny Rumble, we’re sorry. 

S: Megatron vows to figure out what the fuck is going on before we jet back over to the Ark. 

O: Wheeljack and Ratchet are putting the finishing touches on the Dinobots’ repairs.

S: Optimus calls the Ark and orders the Dinobots to stop the Decepticons who are running amok again. 

O: The Dinobots refuse after getting, you know, exploded last time and tell Optimus the kid-friendly equivalent to fuck off and then walk out.

S: And then Wheeljack and Ratchet have to watch their babies walk away.

O: So sad. The Decepticons are trying to gather Energon from a power plant in order to fix the whole, you know, falling out of the sky thing. 

S: The Autobots arrive and transform, all except for Jazz who seems to be stuck in car mode. And then Ironhide attempts some percussive maintenance and kicks him.

O: Which does, indeed, work and Jazz is able to transform the rest of the way. 

S: Megatron loses his ability to form words mid-sentence.

O: Starscream immediately proclaims himself the leader of the Decepticons before nose-diving right into a pile of Energon cubes. You know, exactly what you would expect to happen. [Laughter]

S: Ahh, things just start to go wrong. Ironhide’s-

O: Very wrong for everyone.

S: Yep, Ironhide’s Swiss Army knife powers have backfired incredibly badly, as this entire body freezes up when he goes to shoot Starscream with liquid nitrogen. 

O: Mirage thinks he has turned invisible but- but then gets beaned by Thundercracker when tried to attack him because he has not, in fact, turned invisible. 

S: Yep. Ravage successfully attacks Optimus before involuntarily transforming into tape mode.

O:  And Optimus just picks up the tape and dumps it into a barrel and I'm like, “You bastard.” 

S: Jazz proceeds to lose his groove and then Blitzwing falls into a hole of his own making. Starscream goads Megatron into action.

O: To which he responds, “If only to spite you!” Which if that doesn't summarize their entire relationship, I don't know what does.

S: True. Starscream takes aim at Optimus with Megatron in gun mode but Megatron's uh, performance leaves quite a lot to be desired.

O: Megatron then orders a retreat but the Cons are unable to fly and instead run away- on foot.

S: Back at the base, the same symptoms that are- the same- condition that seems to be affecting the Cons is also, apparently, affecting the Autobots. They have the same sort of symptoms and- yeah.

O: Optimus can barely stand.

S: And then he collapses into a pose that makes him resemble a giant toddler. It's- not very dignified.

O: No, no it is not. But fear not! Perceptor has it all figured out because, you know, Perceptor is the only Autobot that can do his damn job around here. 

S: Yeah, none of them have been eating their- well, none of them have been eating their leafy greens, effectively.

O: Or, in other words, they're missing an element that is necessary for their function.

S: Said element, of course, can only be found on Cybertron.

O: All the Autobots look worse for wear from all this but Jazz in particular is having a bad time with his bottom half stuck in car mode.

S: And, possibly, upside down. 

O: I- yeah, I can't remember and Powerglide is even missing his head. 

S: Oh dear. Yeah, cuz it's, like, not connected to his body. A headless airman, if you will? Carly and Spike run in and tell Optimus that Shockwave is sending a shipment of the missing element, Cybertonium, to earth.

O: The Autobots are, unfortunately, not in any position to do anything with this information for obvious reasons.

S: But Carly realizes that the Dinobots are still functioning normally, as they were built on Earth. And they don't include-

O: Don't require this to keep functioning, essentially.

S: Yeah, they just weren't constructed with it at all.

O: Yeah.

S: So they use Teletraan 1 to track the Dinobots down and they leave in Carly's car. 

O: Sparkplug jokes about not being sure he remembers how to drive it's been so long since he's had to drive, because they've been with the Autobots for however long.

S: Yeah, so they get there and Grimlock doesn't want to help at first, but thankfully Swoop manages to keep three humans from getting crushed. 

O: He picks up Carly's entire car.

S: That sounds about right.

O: And with a little persuasion the big ol t-rex does ultimately agree to help.

S: The Dinobots arrive at the space bridge and manage to make it past the Constructicons and actually- accidentally end up on Cybertron. I'm kind of wondering if the Constructicons have the same element issue or if they don't.

O: Well, if they showed up later than they presumably haven't been missing it for the past million years. Maybe that's why they were guarding the space bridge.

S: That's true.

O: We're, of course, not told any of this, so I have no idea.

S: And, actually, I'm wondering about the Insecticons, too. But that's neither here or near- neither here nor there, because they are Sirs Not Appearing in this Episode.

O: Yeah, they may not even know and Decepticons maybe didn't even call them. On the receiving end of the Dinobots, poor Shockwave is shocked to get a triceratops suddenly to the face.

S: Sparkplug manages to figure out that the Dinobots are on Cybertron but Grimlock refuses to return to Earth.

O: Carly volunteers to go to Cybertron since the Dinobots aren't in any mood to help. Spike says Optimus will never agree to something so dangerous.

S: Oh, I mean, it's not like Optimus can stop them.

O: In fact, he just sort of falls on his face when he tries. 

S: Yeah. Before they head out, Sparkplug gifts Spike a really lame looking communicator that sort of sticks to his thumb like a band-aid. 

O: Well, Wheeljack isn't exactly up to par right now so, hmm. 

S: Fair. Carly drives her car through Devastator’s legs to get to the space bridge like the goddamn badass she is.

O: And the episode ends with Shockwaves shooting the space bridge door as it opens - to which, join us next time for Desertion of the Dinobots, Part Two.

S: The Dinobots have arrived on Cybertron and they're ready to paint the planet red!

O: And I believe we have some fanfic for today.

S: All right, we have two pieces of fanfiction. We have “Walking with Dinobots” by BlushLouise- BlushLouise?

O: One of those.

S: Yeah. It's in the G1 Cartoon continuity. It's rated G, it's gen, there are no pairings and the characters are the Dinobots and Optimus Prime. So, in summary, “The humans have this show. It's called Walking with Dinosaurs. Until the Dinobots take an interest, that is. Or the many ways a Dinobot can sneak away to join the circus.” And that was just really cute. It’s been a while since I read it but really cute. And so our theme on that is “Dinobots getting to go around and do stuff,” I think.

O: Getting out and about, I believe. 

S: Ah, getting out and about, thank you. And then our second fanfic recommendation is “Wayward” by Im_The_Doctor (Bofur1). It's G1 Cartoon, it's rated G, it's gen, no pairings, and our characters are Wheeljack, Dinobots, and [Chip] Chase. And in summary, “As the Autobots recover from their Cybertonium depletion and readjust to working with the Dinobots (again), only one mech in particular seems to be healing poorly- not just physically but emotionally. Naturally that catches some attention.

S: And again- Dinobots.

O: And both of these are one shots.

S: Yeah, they’re both one shots and the second one I'd originally picked for the second episode but I think it also works pretty well here.

O: And our fan artist for today is Charlotte Cha [Sha]? Cha? Cha [Sha]. They seem to primarily do IDW. They probably have a bit more of- a bit more things than that but that's what I’ve primarily seen they have a ton of to Dratchet stuff. Uh, they've got a zine for their Young!Ratchet/Vet!Drift AU, and I think it's super cute. Today we've linked to that zine. 

S: Yep, I have that downloaded somewhere it's really cute. 

O: Another cuddly Dratchet fanart- of Drift and Ratchet just cuddling. It's very cute. And Tailgate being a complete and total dumbass and Cyclonus being, like, ‘Oh no, I have to protect this tiny idiot.’ It is fantastic. A lot of their stuff I've seen has been more sketchy and they do do other fan art that isn't Transformers related. We will be able to link to their Instagram. They frequently also go by the username VoyVoy or Voyahora, I think, and then their Tumblr is like PrimeADV, so I have no idea and just went with what they have listed I think on their Twitter as the real name so. But I do recommend their stuff! It's super cute and we will be posting links. 

S: Mm-hmm. And that about wraps it up for us today.  Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as AO3, iTunes, Spotify, and Youtube, just to name a few.  And feel free to send us questions on Tumblr, Youtube, or AO3!  Till next time, I'm Specs.

O: And I’m Owls.

S: Toodles.

[Outro Music]

#transcript #g1 episode 35 #afterspark podcast #afterspark

[thanksjro]

Children of a Lesser Matrix: It’s Like A Saturday Morning Cartoon, But With… Genocide

Children of a Lesser Matrix is by no means a complete work- more of an outline that never got past the “slap some ideas in as they come to you” stage. Fun fact: you don’t have to write in sequential order if you don’t want to. It can actually help with writer’s block to jump around.

Let’s take a look at the writing process, shall we?  

I wasn’t kidding when I said the self-insert got the shaft in Eugenesis.

It turns out that back when the Transmasters UK club was a thing, it was pretty common for the members to have a sort of mascot for themselves, a character that would show up in their work repeatedly. You see it nowadays with fanfic writers too, so it isn’t exactly an odd phenomenon, but it’s something I found interesting.

You know who else shows up repeatedly in Roberts’ other works?

Throwback.

But that’s a topic for another day.

This story takes place in the year of 1990. No peering into the future here; this was probably set in the modern day at the time of writing. Seeing as Eugenesis was first published in 2001, it’s safe to assume that we’re looking at the work of a very young Roberts.

Our focus at present is an asteroid in uncharted space.

Oh!

Oh.

Looks like these guys are Autobots, and their ship crashed into this space rock, killing them instantly. These must be the equivalent of Transformers’ red-shirts, because it usually takes a little more to take them out. There’s also a Decepticon, but we’ll get to him in a second.

What else is on this asteroid? Oh, y’know, nothing special. Just the Creation Matrix.

AND IT’S EVIL.

And everyone knows that green is the color of EVIL.

We’ve got an interesting take on the Matrix here, in that A) it’s evil, and B) it’s sentient. Like, really sentient. Also, it can summon demons, and is gonna stuff them in these Autobot corpses it found in the ship.

No mention of what it does with Thunderwing, if anything at all.

Yep. Thunderwing. If you read the IDW Stormbringer miniseries, or the MTMTE Revolutions one-shot, you know about Thunderwing at least a little. In the Marvel UK comics, his whole shtick was that he was obsessed with obtaining the Creation Matrix, believing himself to have an affinity with it. Guess that sort of backfired on him here.

This is the first time I’ve seen something bolded like this in Roberts’ work, and I really couldn’t tell you exactly why, but it’s oddly endearing. Maybe it the mental image of this 14-year old kid just furiously getting this outline down, underlining the word “will" so hard the lead in his pencil breaks off.

We get hit with an interlude, taking place inside a robot grandpa.

Of course, I’m being facetious, but this is a little interesting. Perhaps this is referring to his base on Cybertron, and not Alpha Trion himself. It seems more likely than Roberts mistaking the name for a place.

And who’s inside Delta Triton? Why, it’s Skimmer!

You probably don’t know Skimmer.

Skimmer was actually in MTMTE #41- or at least, he was mentioned. Hailing from Caminus and serving under Thunderclash, the comic doesn’t even know what gender he is. He’s male. Probably can’t put that on the wiki, seeing as this is about as far from “canon” as it gets- an unpublished, basically unwritten fanfiction. It’ll be our little secret, just between you, me, and James Roberts.

Skimmer runs into his boss Quillion- who does not show up anywhere else, as far I can can tell- who doesn’t look terribly happy at the moment. There’s a huge blip on the radar, and it isn’t anyone they want to have over for tea.  

Language!

Quillion orders for these massive rocket boosters they’ve strapped to the moon be turned on so they can get the hell out of the way of this honestly preposterously large pile of Decepticons coming their way. They flip the switch, and moon #3 blasts off.

Oh hi, Luna 01, didn’t recognize you there!

Back at the asteroid, the Matrix went and brought the Autobots back from the dead, and proceeds to wax poetic  on the nature of life, and how its new underlings will serve it.

That’s the royal we, baby. The Matrix is making no bones about it, this thing is KING. Seems like the Omniforce is a Roberts-original idea. Wonder what that’s all about. And what of this new force of evil?

Oh my fucking god his name is Genocide.

If I were a middle-school kid reading this outline, I’d be losing my mind over how cool and edgy this was. Roberts is trying so hard here, and I’m all about it. You go, tiny JRo. You go full cowl on these evil robots.

Our Omniforce have personalities to match their new looks and identities, and it’s about what you’d expect- these boys are a drop of blood in the water away from going completely feral. Also, Thunderwing’s starting to wake up. So, that’ll be a thing soon.

Back at the interlude, everything’s settling down as the gravity rights itself. The moon almost hit light-speed- which, holy shit- but it looks like the laws of inertia in a vacuum are on vacation today.

Not that I expect a kid from the 90’s to know about that.

They’re roughly 7000 hours away from Cybertron, so they better start heading back now. Assuming that there’s still a Cybertron to go back to.

Back with the first plot, Thunderwing’s having a seizure- Roberts’ prose characters seem to do that a lot- and the Matrix is freaking out, because if he dies, they won’t have a ride off this barren space rock. There’s only one thing to do!

The Matrix zaps Thunderwing with green (evil!) lightning, saving him from the brink of death. Thunderwing is less than enthused with this turn of events.

You get redundancies like this when outlining, it happens.

Thunderwing is pissed, and the brand-spanking new Omniforce isn’t super sure how to handle the current situation. The Matrix, thinking quickly, merges with Thunderwing.

This does not help the situation.

You’ve had them for five minutes, and you’re already killing them. I know you’re new to this, Matrix, but come on now.

TWENTY THOUSAND YEARS LATER, it turns out that Quillion’s estimate of their arrival back at Cybertron was off by just a smidge. The moon runs into a tomb of all things in the depths of space, and brings it on inside to see what all the hubbub’s about.

It’s got a Mind-Krell in it.

No, I have no idea what a Mind-Krell is. Another Roberts original. He’s always been rather ambitious as a writer, it would seem.

Jumping back in time, Thunderwing’s throwing out his rawest lines, and it’s amazing.

Like holy shit, I unironically love this. I wish he’d decided to do more with this, it’s fantastic.

We get our first taste of action. Theres a lot going on here: Genocide is apparently a necromancer, capable of controlling the dead, which Thunderwing currently technically is. However, this takes time to set up, so it’s Black Fusion’s turn to step up to the plate. He shoots off a volley of Black Fusion from his eyes, knocking Thunderwing over.

Yes, they’re named after their powers. Or are their powers named after them? Anyway, they’re about to head for the shuttle, when Genocide orders Kaos to use his- you guessed it- Kaos Energy.

We’re also dealing with the “can’t just use said” phase that every young writer goes through. Kaos’ staff, which he’s had this whole time, turns into a gun? It’s not clear, but he shoots Thunderwing and then dives into the shuttle at the last possible second, Indiana Jones-style.

As the shuttle takes off, Genocide warns their resident possessor Daemon to not do the thing, even though he really, really wants to. With that, they train the onboard weapons systems on Thunderwing below- all of them.

And that’s all we got for Children of a Lesser Matrix.

Clearly there would have been more if he’d continued with the ideas, but as is we have a fascinating snapshot of what was probably one of Roberts’ first forays into writing. You don’t get to do this with very many authors, where you can go this far back and see what they were doing, what changed, what stayed the same. I wasn’t expecting to see ideas from MTMTE pop up here- and certainly not ones that were as big as the moon thrusters.

If this entry seems a little soft around the edges, it’s probably because it is. I’m of two mind about covering this at all. On one hand: it was published online for others to read, which makes it free game, and it’s a part of his growth as a writer, so of course I’m going to look at it! On the other hand: Literal. Child. I wouldn’t make fun of a kid just starting out now, and I’m definitely not trying to rag on a young writer retroactively. That being said...

I’m not gonna lie, this is kind of a rough sit. I mean, other than it being an idea springboard that never went anywhere. There are some neat ideas, but… look, anything that’s truly made from the bottom of one’s heart, out of pure love, is always going to be at least a little cringe-inducing. That’s just how it goes, even with the best writers, and this is an outline written by a kid who grew up on 80’s-era media and was just starting out.

Still, there was a lot of potential here. It’s ambitious, it’s over the top, it’s silly and earnest. I like it. It makes me smile to read it and think about the person creating it and having fun doing it.

It just goes to show that no one starts out amazing at what they do.

Up next, a relic of a bygone era- the ‘zine! It’s The Mystery of the Transformer Decoys, a ‘zine that was printed out and sent via snail mail. We truly are spoiled by the internet.

#transformers #jro #children of a lesser matrix #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #prose writing

[sternerstufftoys]

Let’s get dangerous!

It is the year 1988... ...Jamaica surprises the world by competing in the Winter Olympics bobsleigh event... ...Comic Relief is formed, surprising the world by not being utterly shit for the first few years... ... and in the Transformers, sales begin to wane, causing certain bots to turn to drink...

In my head 1988 stands as the last Good Year for the Transformers franchise, but in reality the cracks were very visible. Toy robots turning into toy cars just wasn't the draw it had been four years previously, the cartoon had stalled in the US, Turtles were being Teenage Mutant Heroes/Ninjas... life moves on, y'know? But bless Hasbro for trying every last little trick to keep them robots in disguise relevant. 1988 gave rise to a ton of gimmicks, with the belief that if you throw enough crap at the wall, something is sure to stick.

First up, Powermasters! I actually remember my reaction to learning about the Powermaster gimmick. Yes, they come with nebulons. No, they don't become anything useful like guns or heads. In fact, they won't even transform without first plugging the nebulons in. Er, what? I could already transform my Chromedome without needing to unlock anything. Surely making things less convenient was a step back? Yeah, I never actually got any Powermasters. It was probably for the best.

But then you get Dreadwind and Darkwing... who were nonetheless absolute stars. Not going to sugarcoat this, I absolutely loved their appearances in the Marvel comic as a kid and I love them still. I love that the pair gatecrashed a story whose only purpose was to show off Quickswitch as a badass and stole the show by getting drunk in a corner and complaining. I love that they fought The Dead Body of Starscream!!!* I love that they formed a quartet of down-on-their luck hoodlums and despite attaching themselves more powerful allies, never really caught a break. I love especially that in the wraparound cover for a Christmas issue, the two were seen having drinks at the Autobot Christmas party, because fuck the war, there's drinks.

And good-looking a design though Dreadwind had, Darkwing was always the cool-looking one, and continues to be in the Power of the Primes version of his toy. Only now he's a combiner as well as a Powermaster, so... this is going to get a little messy. He takes as his base the Aerialbot Air Raid mould, and at a quick glance the alt modes do look a bit similar, but in reality this is only a remould from the waist down. Pretty much every part north of the border is new, and it makes for an astonishingly good robot mode. Pleasingly there's no generic-o rifle that adorned the majority of Combiner Wars figures, instead DW gets a pair of pistols to do some quality gunslinging with. And hoo boy are those ever 1988's colours in high definition, with bright blue, teal and purple putting every good shell suit to shame.

He also makes for a great combiner. I'm not just saying that, he really does make for a smashing arm for any Decepticon Goliath, with his wings making for a fantastic splayed-out crest on one shoulder. Jet mode is good enough, but can't help disguise the great big block of robot kibble underneath. It's a problem shared with every single Aerialbot though, so I'd not want to lay this solely at Darkwing's feet.

And Powermaster gimmicks? Well, yeah. But they're not good. You can't just slap a Nebulon into an existing CW body type and expect it to work, sadly. There just isn't room with the combiner peg already filling up the chest. So instead, all the PotP deluxes had to first put on an ill-fitting baby carrier (sorry, Prime armour) before slapping the Nebulon (sorry, Prime Master) into that. And of course, the Prime armour is also the combiner fist, because of course it is. And of course, there's no mechanical integration, just the knowledge that putting Megatronus into Darkwing's papoose meant he could now "accelerate the extinction cycle of entire planets" yeah yeah whatever. It's like you never met Darkwing. He wouldn't want to do any of that. Just give him some spare change so he can go sit in the pub with his equally miserable mate. They can play darts if they like. In fact, when I become editor on IDW's comics, expect every issue to just be those two down the pub getting sloshed. Every month. Forever.

*honest to god, that image of Starscream's dessicated corpse wandering around burned itself into my infant brain.

#transformers #maccadam #toy review #darkwing #blackwing #power of the primes #best bots of 1988

[galvatronsthighs]

Part five! Story under the cut! <<PREVIOUS | FIRST | NEXT>>

When it was all said and done, there was silence.

The room echoed with the loud thunderous sound of four air ventilation systems elevated to their cacophonous state by the cold looming presence of… something. It couldn’t remain quiet forever and even then, it all rested on one. Sari was the important one here. Her choice now meant everything. She looked horrified, she looked torn, she looked ruined. “You still…” She uttered, “It was still you… you…” Galvatron could see it in her eyes, she wanted to be furious, there was still a burning rage that wanted to be vented, but a wet sadness also threatened to smother her face. She looked tired. “It’s never easy is it? It’s never FUCKING easy” She shrieked, “It can’t just be black and white this once, everything’s gone to shit and I CAN’T be thrown ONE DAMN BONE and be given a easy time… A easy choice...” Her small hands were rubbing at her face as she began pacing around in circles. “I’m sorry” Galvatron said. “No! No, you shut up! And stop apologising!” She hissed. “No” Galvatron snapped back without hesitation making Sari stop to glare at him, “I… I mean… I know it’s my fault… I… I should be sorry… I caused this… And I don’t know how to fix it…” “Fix… it? … FIX IT!? You think you can just fix the death of millions!?” “No, I…” “The death of my father!” “No! I…” “The death of my friends!” “No…” “The destruction of my home!” “No…” “Then what!? What are you even thinking!?” “I… don’t know…” Galvatrons voice had increased in pitch and he began to feel himself crumple, he pulled his knees up and drew his hands to his helm, clutching it tightly as he squeezed his optics shut, “I don’t know anymore” “Yeah, well, you and me bloody both, eh?” She glared at him, raising up in the air to be closer and glare more directly at him fire in her tiny optics, she had played his memory circuits like a home movie and hated what she saw.

It left them both in silence again. What was there to say? It wasn’t like they’d particularly interacted before all this mess began. Before… he started it.

"Is... is it okay?" Galvatron whispered quietly. "Look around you!” Sari snapped, arms outstretched and she spun in the air as if showing off the mess around them, “do you think anyone is okay in this wasteland!?" "No... I mean... Should we have left.... left him?" Galvatron almost couldn’t hear his own voice. "I..." Sari faltered. "There isn't anyone out there who'd accept us like he would is there?" Resignation prickled through his spark. "No..." It was Sari’s turn to whisper now she had seen everything, from their view and hers. "Ah... He's right... we are... our place is with him" "No it isn't!" Sari reflexively snapped she couldn’t tell if it was in response to hearing such defeatist talk or being able to vividly hear through his memories of a terrible voice speaking in such callous disdain. “Just… I don’t know...” Galvatron uttered, struggling with his vocaliser and lip plates practically trying to escape his helm, “Take them instead” “What?” Sari squinted at him, as the only other awake person here it was clear he was going to get the brunt of whatever she decided to dish out. Galvatron was more than willing to accept it. “It was me, I made a deal with that thing… they didn’t” He gestured to the two unconscious forms beside them, “Do what you want to me, just please accept them, take them, do whatever, just don’t let them suffer for what I did, what I caused, they could earn a place that’s not at his side...” Sari’s expression didn’t change, her demeanour instead seemed… angry. “What? Are you for real? Do you expect me to fall over myself for you because of that? That I’ll bend over myself to forgive you like nothing happened as you wallow in stupid self-pity?” “No,” Galvatron snapped, a tiny prickle of anger… no panic… no… something rising in his Spark “I think I made the point clear I don’t want you to ‘fall over yourself’ for me, but for them, I told you, do what you want to me bad or good, I don't care! I don’t want your sympathy or anything! I just… I… My responsibility...” Nope, whatever that feeling was it vanished once more. Sari turned away from him and let out a long puff of air from her fleshy nasal unit as she stepped down onto the ground once more. “What are you expecting of me then? What do you think I should do, Mister ‘I want to fix it’, I’ve watched almost all the people I cared about die horribly, I’ve seen one home get hoovered up like a wayward crumb on a carpet and another become choked by war… And now I’ve come to find that the ones who were a part of all this, were nothing more than puppets, lead along and… and… screwed about by the real monster behind all this. A bunch of bad bots who should’ve been punished for things they’ve done but instead… dealt with that” “And that’s…” Galvatron’s optics sunk to the floor, she was absolutely right, about everything. Seemed more and more that that was the case, he was wrong far far more than he cared to admit, but there was an idea in itself, “And that’s what I don’t know, we hardly know anything outside what ‘he’ made us do… teach us” “WHAT!?” Sari spun back to face him. “Teach us!” Galvatron shuffled onto his knees and bowed to her once more, forehelm touching the floor and servos clasped together, “Will you teach us? We… We will be yours to command! Guide us! Help us help you! We don’t want to be this anymore! Believe it or not but our intention was not to slaughter our own world! It was… It was…” “He made it feel good… didn’t he?... Like a daze hardly aware of what you were doing…” Sari ‘finished’ his line, “Too caught up in a whirlwind of… of pain and artificial pleasure…” “Y… yes…” Despite having his face pressed to the floor Galvatron somehow managed to get his optics to sink lower. Sari breathed deep, rubbing her eyes, shoulders bunched up in frustration yet sagging with defeat. “Why aren’t they like you?” She finally asked. “W-what?” “If I’m to teach you or do anything with you, tell me what their deal is” She gestured at the two beds. Galvatron leant up and looked over Scourge and Cyclonus once more. He’d seen the straps binding them, yet somehow never thought of asking about them. “Why… are they strapped down?” “Because they attacked me” Sari closed the distance a little “They woke up and were immediately out to fight, but I can’t get answers from dead things, so I knocked them out and tied them down. They didn’t even say a word, something I noticed when you were fighting them too, not a peep. Why aren’t they like you? Why are you different?” Sat back on his haunches Galvatron rubbed his chin then his head. “The only… This all… oh… OH… This all started when I got that jolt of energy from the AllSpark!” He snapped his fingers. “The AllSpark? How’d you get to that!?” “That guy whose, uh, currently leading the Autobots, I don’t know their name, but he had it around his neck!” Galvatron pulled his legs out from under him and sat cross-legged, gesturing vaguely with his hands, “I hit it then I blacked out! It’s energy counteracted ‘his’ and I was cut loose! It took a while to completely cut him out of my processor but I can definitely… yeah! That’s what caused this!” Sari looked to the floor, thinking, pondering. She didn’t know the name of the bot who lead the Autobots now either. She had left them for a nomadic lifestyle away from either side a long time ago, it had just gotten too much. Of course she still kept contact with what was left of her friends, but that was about it. “So… I can help them” She eventually responded. “Y… you can? Oh! Does… does this mean… you’ll do it? You’ll help us? Be our leader? Teach us?” Galvatron clasped his hands together, trying to hide the smile, hide his joyous anticipation. It was hard, so hard, this might just be the first good news… ever, the excitement threatened to tear and rip open his spark with the utmost ferocity. “I’m still connected to the AllSparks energy, it’s weak, but I could banish this demon from their minds… But it may well be the last time I can use any power from it” She looked pensive, nervous. Debating if her last use of the AllSpark-energy within her should be risked upon these miscreants. “T...take a chance?” Galvatron uttered as if sensing her internal debate over using her power and the potential outcome. Sari rubbed her face again, pulling her features about, trying to hide the tired tiny upwards curl at the side of her mouth. “Wow… That was so pathetic I might just do it” “But I shouldn’t get my hopes up, right?” Galvatron sunk away a little, he was pathetic, useless, nobody to accept him, no one but… “I’ll try” Words snapped him from beginning his negative spiral. “W-what?” “I said I’ll try. If you guys do turn out to be an utter waste I can just reabsorb the energy back from them! And maybe charge myself up a bit and take what AllSpark energy went into you!” She threatened, “So don’t think you’re getting off for anything!” “Wouldn’t dream of it!” Galvatron found himself brimming with energy, it made him shake uncontrollably, what were these feelings? Happiness, excitement… hope. He liked these… Galvatron never wanted them to end! Even if the force of these new emotions bubbling through him refused to let him stay still making him trip and stumble as he attempted the simple action of standing up. “Get in the corner” Sari ordered, pretending she wasn’t gaining some sort of amusement from watching such a big previously-intimidating form wobble excitedly like a newborn fawn. She didn’t strictly have sleeves to roll up anymore, but the action of rubbing her arms in a similar motion still felt good, felt ‘preparatory’ she still shuffled nervously, shaking her arms and legs, hopping from foot to foot, exhaling sharply multiple times. Was she really going to do this? She COULD just take her energy back from them, right? Did she even have enough left to free them? Did she even want to? Should she be taking pity on them? They had done bad things and been mean, but they were brutally tortured… she felt like she’d seen something similar to this before, echoes of yellow chasing green and swapping helms, a spider and a truck one always trying to chase the other to bring them back... They’d been mean too, then got tortured and…

Raising into the air Sari hovered a good distance above the berths. No, she was doing the right thing. Her friends would understand if they were looking down on her. The familiar, yet distant, thrum of the AllSparks energy flowed through her, the room almost fading to black in comparison to the bright light that began emanating from her, her body engulfed in a crackling sphere of blue light. Her hands splayed out, each in the direction of a berth smaller spheres of light broke off from her body, travelling to her palms and building up in size and strength. She was taking a chance on these weirdos just like her friends had taken chances on others before, it wasn’t a bad thing to do. It was the right choice, it had to be. Energy arced in wild streaks and patterns, like a wild untamable storm raging through one small room. With only minimal directing the beams pierced the chest plates of the two unconscious forms and rushed through their systems. The binds around them snapped and their bodies lifted into the air as if coming forth to meet and greet the energy that came to them. There was nothing wrong with at least trying to extend a hand of peace and friendship, even to those who had been bad.

“Amusing” Sari flinched. She hadn’t heard the voices belonging to the two below her, but in an instant she could tell who's that was. She could feel a dark tingle brushing around the edge of her power, through them, the malicious energy of that planet-eating ghoul clawing at her cleansing attempts like spiteful animals as they backed away from the light. “Take them.” It sighed like a know-it-all parent watching their child do something stupid, “They’re useless. They know I’m all they have. They’ll crawl back no matter what you do.” It was gone. In an instant. All gone. He dropped them and without his essence plaguing their systems her energy gave one last powerful pulse throughout her, and them, like Unicron had been containing it and without him it rushed forth uncontrollably like wisps of serpentine smoke and light being purged, tinged green energy fading out as a purer blue energy took over. Sari could only gasp in surprise as she shut away her energy and dropped to the floor, disorientated and woozy, she struggled on the ground before managing to seat herself upon it. “Sari? Sari!?” Galvatron’s voice sounded muffled as her sensors buzzed and hummed, trying to reboot themselves, but she could see his hands twitching and hovering around her as if wanting to reach out and touch her, to check if she was alright but unable to bring themselves to do it. Sari waved her arm, signalling she was fine and his hands promptly pulled back and his fussing ceased. Useless? He’s all they have? Well, now she had made up her mind, she was going to help them. To spite that bastard at the very least.

#Galvatron #Sari #sari sumdac #transformers animated #maccadam #transformers #eschaton #chapter 5 #TFA: Homecoming #attempting art #fanfic