#look at the state of affairs

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!! #because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that! #it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs! #so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't. #when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation. #and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job) #because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme* #and yes. walking out isn't always possible. #but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap. #stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

[vlaakithswill-a]

me rn

#this is state of affairs.. still banned…. LOOKING THRU THE WINDOW…. #UNABLE TO MAKE FOOLISH REPLIES ON UR POSTS…… #remember me fondly everyone. #ooc #i might b writing on discord mostly until it is fixed

[sonicchaoscontrol]

[New Icon/general teaser!]

[You’ve reached a Checkpoint. Everything behind this point on the blog is now considered Archive status - cleanup proceeds apace. More information on 12/25/22, provided I can wait that long!]

#mod post #sonic the hedgehog #sonic #chaos control #checkpoint #mod draws #SCC Assets #a fresh set of tags for a fresh state of affairs #Don't look at me; I've got a lot to do here #also where did xkit go? this site is a MESS

[francesderwent]

“You and I, it is to be hoped, do not hold the theory that the highest and most prominent figures in Society are the highest and best specimens of the human race. We are not such desolate pessimists as all that….The most gloomy of all possible theories is the theory that the best man wins….But I am an optimist, and I believe that evil is frequently victorious; a thought full of peace, comfort, and possibilities of human affection.”

—G.K. Chesterton, Illustrated London News 11/16/1907

#I AM AN OPTIMIST AND I BELIEVE THAT EVIL IS FREQUENTLY VICTORIOUS!!!!! #I have never had my spirituality or temperament so well explained to me #sometimes the thing that’s come out on top! the thing that’s won or has the only chance of winning! the thing whose triumph is INEVITABLE! #sometimes (FREQUENTLY) that thing is evil! #just because they won doesn’t mean they’re right!! #just because it’s triumphant doesn’t mean it’s GOOD #you can look around and say ‘this state of affairs has triumphed and I expect it will continue indefinitely’ #but you DON’T have to say ‘so it’s all for the best’ #you can say ‘evil wins sometimes. still evil though.’ #you can celebrate the UNWON goods! #g.k. Chesterton

[tabellae-rex-in-sui]

Best kind of historical speculation is looking at a historical figures who were a couple whose relationship was tragically cut short by one or both of their deaths and asking "If both of you had lived a full life, would you two still be on speaking terms by the end of your lives?"

#we like to think thay yes they would #but.... they are both obnoxious so who knows #look if Émilie had died a year or two into her relationship with V... #every historian would be gushing about how they were soulmates and true love and perfect and its so tragic and beautiful #we wouldnt have anticipated the affairs; the secrecy; the pregancy; the incest; the more affairs; the involvement of foreign heads of state #the... ehem libido incompatibility issues #shoutout to historical lovers who died tragically and never got to their mutual flop phase #Remember what V said: If Friendship marriages are a thing; then so are Friendship divorces ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ #temper your expectations in AUs folks; they may survive but they do NOT live happily ever after

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Nepeta: :33< just accidentailly said 'sensory overlord' instead of overload today in therapaw

Nepeta: :33< new neurodivergent final boss just dropped

#homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #nepeta leijon #mod terezi #the claws do eh damage but they have nice bleed potential and a critical multiplier which makes them somewhat viable #unfortunately they also require you to be uncomfortably close up for them to be effective and my dodge skills are not quite there yet #oh yeah i'm talking about the same dark souls 3 soul level one run #i'm almost done with it i just got gael and midir left and tbh i'm having a much easier time with gael than sister friede #but he always throws in a curveball that i don't quite catch in time #but i've gotten him down to like 15% health in the dozen tries i've done him so i'm feeling good about this state of affairs #and i've got midir pretty down pat so i think i'm doing pretty good #oh yeah i also named my character for this run feferi 38) #look i'm love her so much you guys do not get it

[dykefaggotry]

thoughts on the song "you've got to hide your love away" ?

oh SO many. it's a beautiful song & you can definitely hear a lot of dylan's influence in it. it's an interesting one to me bc I can see it several different ways. like Of Course as a fellow dyke w my fags in arms I hear even the phrase "you've got to hide your love away" from a man in 1965 and my eyebrows go up to the clouds. & there certainly Could be some of that I think, whether he Was actually having an affair w paul (or any other man really) or just dealing with internalized homophobia.

but for MEEEE I think what compels me more about it is just like he said about it, he's trying to convey his emotions more in his writing instead of just projecting himself into situations (which started with if I fell and THAT makes me crazy) & the sentiment of "you love too much and too hard and you've got to hide that emotion because people will laugh at you" is incredibly sad & also does say a lot about him & go a long way towards explaining some of his actions in really Any relationship he was in, whether it's about a man or a woman or whoever. if Anything it just goes towards my (& many others lmao) conviction that that man would get a bpd diagnosis.

it's certainly... well I can't imagine a straight man writing that song & fully understanding the feeling, but more than that to me it's just an interesting look into his insecurities & head at the time re his own emotions

#the beatles #I do remember as a kid I think the first time I heard it #before I even realized I was gay I was like. hm. that's. well That's Certainly Something #but as I've gotten older although it's definitely an interesting aspect to me I think I just enjoy that little look into his mind #when he wasn't always writing songs about his emotions or mental state yet #also I've seen ppl say it's about the brian thing but imo absolutely not that was 2 years before this & he really just showed that he did #Not want to dwell on or talk about it #so if it is about an actual affair w a man and not just Internalized Homophobia well WHAT MAN.... COULD IT BE..... 🤔 #anyway

[wildwood-faun]

last day at work before my vacation!! unfortunately I am so near burnout that this upcoming change in routine is mainly causing me anxiety rn.

#like. i don't have the energy to do anything after work but at least i know what my days look like and i quite enjoy being at work. #not arguing that this is a good state of affairs but it makes sense right #life of kit

[inplay-runs]

breaking news: Corey Seager is cute

#my god the baseball presence on this site is NEGLIGIBLE #gotta do all the prettyboy posting myself i see. sad state of affairs. #baseball #well. technically. #dallas stars #corey seager #he did the ceremonial puck drop #texas rangers #i am READY for this season. i am pacing the fucking halls. #he has great teeth. no one look at me.

[unhonestlymirror]

What's the strongest yet the fragilest thing in the world? Human ego.

Especially when this ego was raised among lack of education.

#sorry i feel completely devastated by how people especially Westerns decide to completely ignore the real state of affairs #especially when it comes to Eastern Europe #it feels like 90% of such people use hetalia as a fucking historical manual #i hate that for them my country is a fucking doll to play with #i find it hilarious that such people will ignore you even if you scream at their faces #we often wonder how did nazism became popular. look. it's right here. it's right there but you decide not to see it

[xhuth]

i’m sorry the game everyone’s been playing is 120gb???

#bg3 looks fun but once again glad i do not play new games because i get to be barely aware this is the current state of affairs.

[thedawner]

Too Human’s Aesir at the end of the game after somehow making things worse than they already were:

#too human #too human game #look at them #trudging through their shitty little state of affairs #which were entirely made by their violent hands alone #well ODIN’s actually #at least they got that as a redeeming trait #i want so badly a sequel where they realize what atrocities they’ve done because they listened to ODIN #and i want them to redeem themselves by offing that motherfucker #‘do AI’s cry electric tears? let’s find out’ #commentary

[mantisgodsdomain]

We go offline for a few days to figure out knitting and awaken to find there's a genocide going on. Cool. We love the state of world events in the year 2023.

#we speak #this is a vague complaint post #the preamble to this may have started earlier but we do not follow social justice blogs on purpose #and the tumblr posts we DO see are largely whatever turns up from sifting through the handful of People We Followed Back #goddammit. we are going to have to look through news networks to get Actual News now #we do not trust tumblr dot com to be a primary source of information in any way #especially not when the social justice scene on this website is overly prone to turning to cult tactics #if you are reading this post then you desperately need to research the BITE model btw #judging by the timeframe things started Going Wrong we are 50% sure this is a monkey's paw wish or something #you will gain enough autonomy to not constantly be trapped within the Family Cheese Grater #BUT the state of affairs will rapidly tumble downhill the moment you have the means to be aware of it #not a big fan of this state of affairs #we would really prefer it if we could hunt down people talking about day to day life in the specific climate we're looking for #WITHOUT learning about new atrocities #unfortunately it appears that the atrocities are happening regardless

[acerathia]

strutting around to the beat of 'Rasputin'

#There lived a certain man in Russia long ago #He was big and strong #in his eyes a flaming glow #Most people looked at him with terror and with fear #But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear #He could preach the Bible like a preacher #Full of ecstasy and fire #But he also was the kind of teacher #Women would desire #Hey #hey #Ra ra Rasputin #Lover of the Russian queen #There was a cat that really was gone #Russia's greatest love machine #It was a shame how he carried on #He ruled the Russian land and never mind the Czar #But the kazachok he danced really wunderbar #In all affairs of state he was the man to please #But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze #For the queen he was no wheeler dealer #Though she'd heard the things he'd done #She believed he was a holy healer #Who would heal her son #But when his drinking and lusting #And his hunger for power #Became known to more and more people #The demands to do something

[dont-offend-the-bees]

OK so having watched ep 9 I UNDERSTAND why there was a lot of discontent at the leaks but also. Ngl. That was sad but also hilarious and fully on brand.

#Do marwa and guillermo deserve better? Absolutely #But that did not stop me crowing with laughter at the sheer dumbassery of it all #I cannot believe #Nandor.... Bitch.......... #Idk it's not an emotionally satisfying state of affairs but you cannot argue that its wwdits absurd/flippant humour to a t #I know we all like to read very poetic stuff into it and there IS a lot going on under the surface if you look for it/want there to be #But it's also the dick jokes vampire show with it's cringe and punching bag humour so this was #Fitting tbh #Anyway I was scared going into it bc of the general vibe in the tag #And I fully get why people are upset but #I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't find it funny #I wish freddie and marwa freddie well #And I wish guillermo a very killing that man #mr. bees speaks #Wwdits #wwdits spoilers #Gonna largely stay OUT of the tag I think it's gonna be a cluster fuck shdbsjsbd

[thursdayg1rl]

why did they have to make the summer I turned pretty into a show. it’s ruined my life and I have no plans of even watching

#fist of all the books were terrible (coming from someone who read them like 5 times) #grrr bark bark grr #I’m just a hater #like what’s the pointtttt like come onnnn where’s the fucking substanceee #teenage girls really have no options bro #and this booktok stuff is rotting our fucking brains #sorry for sounding like a boomer but idk #it just feel like. no one is willing to say anything brave anymore #it’s all about the fucking love triangles and mafia bfs and just. #IM SO SICK OF MEN SORRY #I’m sick of my life revolving around them #sick of the messaging that it should revolve around them #give me media for teenage girls about lesbian sex. is what I’m saying #I think we are regressing honestly #or maybe it’s just I’m seeing this sorry state of affairs only now that I’ve started looking at ig reels #anyways I feel like I’m losing my mind and everything is superficial and there is not one thought going through 90% of ppl brains #so always refreshing to see my pretentious girlies are also thriving #and I’m NOT saying a fun romance book isn’t ok every now and then like girl #I did spend like a week of my life consuming only desi romance books but. #maybe we need to also be investing some time in . just anything else really #just saw some comments on a booktok reel like ‘oh I’m 14 and I read hunting Adeline’ or whatever the fuck that book is called #it’s jsut. idk. really depressing to me… please pick up an Austen #it’s this whole thing like the books and the shows like nothing has any fucking meaninggg #literally sound insane but I am going insane #yeah I really need to get of fucking booktok it’s ruined my life