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fangirlfreak08 · 1 year

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Episode 4 thoughts

Not Vasiliy seeing mal and Alina kiss THIS IS WHY YOU DONT PUBLICLY KISS YOUR BOYFRIEND WHEN YOUR ENGAGED

Also nikolais mum is really pushing the whole he’s legitimate thing isn’t she

INEJS VOICE BREAKING INTO KAZS FLASHBACK WHERE EARLIER IT WAS JORDIE

I FEEL LIKE WE ARE BUILDING UP TO KAZ IMAGINING INEJS BODY

“It would bring me some comfort to know that you’re with me” my kanej heart is being fed

Kaz just wanting Inej to be safe if he dies versus Inej just wanting to get revenge for Kaz if he dies

The patron Saint of brewers

A LITTLE LIGHT ROLEPLAY

I KINDA LIKE YOUR FACE

SOMETIMES BROTHERS FIGHT

YES TO ALL OF THAT SHUT UP THEYRE BROTHERS

We like to keep our expectations low!

Nina bestie don’t knock out Kaz

Also there’s no way we’re getting a soc spin off for crooked kingdom cause they’re using half the plotline

David’s little wave 😭I love him

Oh god David feels so bad about genya

Whoever I saw on here that called the sword a round of applause for you

So know nikolais gonna hire the crows right?

Mal calling Nikolai out on the third person

Nina bestie stop it. He’s probably just gonna kill you anyway

Can’t really blame Kaz for Nina not being loyal they’ve known each other a week

Yes Inej slay

This is how she’s gonna find her purpose

She’s not gonna get her ship at the end of this season is she? She might

This is when Kaz is gonna bring up his son ain’t it

See they’ve already used the plague thing so we literally cannot get a crooked kingdom spin off

Ahah that where the shiner comes from

Omg no not Jordie already having the plague when the sirens went off

Slay Kaz

OMG YES HIM AND NINA PLANNED IT

NOW I KNOW HOW JESPER AND INEJ FEEL

OMG YES GO KAZ USE HIS SON

Ngl kinda prefer when Kaz didn’t use his name cause then pekka was just being gullible

Calling pekka weak as if he’s not in love with Inej

Also shout out to whoever said Kaz was gonna use alby in every monstrous thing

OMG OMG WE GOT THE SCENE

I CANNOT

Kaz saying all of this with blood running down his face really makes it

THEY LITERALLY LIFTED HALF IT FROM THE BOOKS AND I LOVE THAT

Nina and Jesper just watching this shitshow go down

He better get on his knees

YESSSSS

‘Are you’ I FUCKING LOVE HIM

ngl I kinda forgot they were being framed for murder

Omg yeah the bitch is dead

YESSS GET INEJ FREED TOO

Ok but this means that he didn’t liquidate all his assets to free her

It also means they can’t really do six of crows either cause heleens the one who recognises them at the ice court

Thick as thieves, lol

YES THE KOOPEROM

Where was Inej in that scene with pekka though?

YES TOLYA AND POETRY MY TRUE OTP

Shit okay vasily really wanted rid of mal

Alinas dress looks gorgeous

OMG VASILY NO LEAVE RN

Slay Alina

Bitch you talking a hell of a lot for someone who gets himself killed

Also I forgot vasily proposed 😭

We love Alina wiping her hand on her dress

OMG YES WE GET PEKKA DIGGING WITH HIS HANDS

What’s actually in the grave though

OMG YES THE STADWATCH

Hahahahahaha alby

WESPER

IS JESPER ASKING HIM OUT

OMG THEY ACTUALLY HOOKED UP

NOT WYLAN LOW-KEY SLUT SHAMING JESPER 😭

We better get the just girls scene in a flashback or something

OMG JESPER YES

WYLAN TRYING TO HIDE HIS SMILE

OMFG THEY KISSED!!!!!!

THE SCREECH I JUST LET OUT

OMG THEYRE GONNA KISS

My heart is beating so fucking fast right now

AND OMG RIGHT INTO A KANEJ SCENE?!!

HE THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD

NO KAZ WHAT OH WAIT YEAH BE FREED HER

SHIT

Wait hold up does wylan know about the stablehand?!

I LOVE IT WHEN YOU QUOTE ME

Jesus that is a big rock

NIKOLAI

‘If my mother was as put off by commoners as she claimed I wouldn’t be here now would I?”

Lol vasilys dead

Darkling honestly needs to die already

Genya smashing things as she deserves

I did not expect that to be the context of ‘I’ll destroy the only thing you have left’ and honestly im a bit disappointed she wasn’t threatening him

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone spoilers

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unrequitedloveletter · 3 years

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Page Eighty-Three- Kaz Brekker

Real (Page Eighty-Three series, part 3)

And thus, here we arrive at the end of the Page Eighty-Three series! I’ve been working on it almost a week now, and had the idea brewing in my brain for two weeks beforehand, so, considering the way that I’ve chosen to publish all the parts, it’s not gonna be a very emotional goodbye for you guys, but for me, oddly enough, it is?

Its the first fic I’ve done that’s been more than two parts, and I guess that adds to it? I don’t know! But, anyways, on with it!

Also, a gentle reminder, I only have Kaz being a little on the touchier side because this is a bit of an AU of sorts, and they’re around twenty four in this last part, which gave him time to work on his trauma more and get comfortable with touch!

Fic type- fluffy as fuck

Warnings- a very brief mention of the flashback in the first chapter (to be specific, nina says ‘stopped you from getting hatecrimed’) and a brief sexual innuendo

T H R E E Y E A R S L A T E R

You knocked out after you’d killed your father, and went home completely unconscious on Inej’s boat, tucked onto a cot with Kaz at your side. Genya had decided to spend a little time around Ketterdam, get to know the ins and outs and provide intel for Nikolai when he asked for it, and Nina had decided that her home could be Ketterdam for four months of every year.

Inej did her thing, catching and killing slavers all around the globe, but her visits to Ketterdam became more frequent after you’d gotten back.

Jesper took your amplifier and made it a project for himself, removing the claw from the obsidian and instead using his fabrikator abilities to turn it into a bracelet that you wore on your right hand, made of gold, with the claw dulled out so that it didn’t poke you when you moved your wrist.

A year after you’d returned home, when yourself and Kaz had gone into his office one morning, book clutched in one of your hands, the other interlaced with Kaz’s fingers, you found a box sitting on his desk.

A note from Zoya was taped to the top of it.

A top tier bitch deserves a top tier amplifier, it read. Bracelet. Wear it on your right wrist. It’ll go with the bear claw wrapped in gold.

You kept the note, reading it to yourself whenever you needed a laugh, giggling about it with Nina when she needed a laugh, too.

All of those small moments ended up leading to a much bigger one, though. The day that Kaz proposed.

It was a pretty simple proposal, but you loved it.

“I had to get advice from Jes about this,” was how he started it, even before he’d gotten down onto one knee. “He proposed to Wylan in the fall, and I know that the Winter makes Ketterdam look absolutely stunning, and I know that you like the scenery, so, well, here we are.”

You’d been walking around Ketterdam, the clicking of Kaz’s cane against the pavement a soothing sound for the both of you.

You’d managed to make it near the outskirts of Ketterdam just by walking, as Kaz’s leg was being decent to him and he wanted to walk until you’d arrived at one of the more scenic spots. You indulged him for the sake of it, making sure you took breaks and that he got water when he was tired.

It’d been snowing, and the sky had yet to darken beyond a light grey. You and Kaz both had snow in your hair, but to one another, it just added to handsomeness, so neither of you moved to brush the snow out of your hair or off your faces.

“When we were seventeen,” he began, feeling for the box in his pocket. The one with a ring inside, cushioned by red, velvety fabric. “You read me a quote from the book I’d gotten you that day. You’ve memorized just about every poem in it since, and I happen to have done the same thing.”

“The quote that you read to me was from The Sun and Her Flowers. It was on page eighty three,” he grinned at you, a fully fledged smile. Something he saved for you and you exclusively.

“I’m going to change the wording a bit, because it’s in the past tense, and we’re not past tense. The quote was ‘you were mine, and my life was full,’,” he said. “I’m changing it to ‘you are mine, and my life is full.’ Because thats how I feel.”

“Kaz?” You asked. “Do you have something planned?” He raised an eyebrow at you as he clutched the box.

“I suck at words, so, from Rupi Kaurs book Milk and Honey, I offer you this,” he carefully got down onto a knee, using his cane to keep him steady for a few quiet moments as you realized what was happening.

“‘You are every hope and dream I’ve ever had, in human form.” He pulled out the ring, opening the box and holding it out to you. “That’s page forty nine, love.”

“If you can’t think of an answer, please, just-- anything works,” if Jesper had told sixteen year old Kaz Brekker that he’d end up on his knees, begging you for a response to his proposal at just twenty two, he’d have called Jesper crazy.

“Yes,” you mumbled. “Yes, Kaz Brekker. If you’re asking me to marry you, it’s an immediate yes.” He used his cane to get himself up to standing again, slipping the ring onto your ring finger and accepting the hug that you pulled him into.

You were going to marry Kaz Brekker, the love of your life, and you couldn’t wait for it.

The day seemed to come at you quickly, even though you’d not set the date until Winter of year that you turned twenty four.

First, it was calling Nikolai and asking if you could cash in the reward for killing your father and doing him and the world a justice that they deserved, then it was finding suitable tuxedos and sending out invitations and planning a million different things at once.

But, eventually, you, Jesper, Wylan, Genya, and Nina, were all on Inejs boat, headed toward the Little Palace.

Then, all of the sudden, you were in the last stretch of time before the wedding. Alina, Mal, Genya, Zoya, and Nina were talking as Genya tailored you, getting rid of some of the blemishes and fixing up little things about your face that you’d asked her to tailor until the end of the ceremony.

“It’s weird,” Alina said, pressing a kiss to Mals cheek as she glanced at her own wedding ring. “I remember you as this fourteen year old boy who used to gawk at the attractive guys in the Second Army, the boy who resented his powers and swore at his father at any chance that he got, and now you’re and you’re completely different.”

“Different how?”

“Kaz Brekker,” Genya said, running her finger under one of your eyes gently, as to get rid of your eyebags. “He’s good for you.”

“And you don’t resent your powers anymore,” Zoya adds. “You don’t use them often, but you don’t resent them.”

“You use them, don’t you, mate?” Mal quipped. “Or were my eyes tricking me when I went to wake you and Brekker up this morning, only to find you keeping light out of your room with a flick of your bloody wrist?”

“I was tired,” you pouted. “Kaz and I both were!”

“Ah, newlyweds,” Nina joked.

“It’s not like that!” You shouted. “Zoya, help me out!”

“He’s able to kiss you now,” she said. “Like, with tongue and stuff. Theres no reason he wouldn’t be able to enjoy a fun little tumble with you here and there!”

“’Tongue, and stuff,’” Mal repeated. “Yes, Zoya, because, as a twenty six year old woman, that’s totally adult phrasing.”

“I wouldn’t have been able to describe it any better,” Nina quipped. Genya and Alina hummed their agreement as Genya moved to your hair, fluffing it and styling it so it that it looked nice as you adjusted the cuffs on your dress shirt.

“Wheres my blazer?” You asked, grabbing your tie from Genyas lap, tying it as she evened out some of the color near your roots.

“Closet,” Alina answered. “I’ll get it for you!” Mal checked his watch.

“We’ve got three minutes to get down there,” he said. “Lets make the most of Y/Ns remaining 180 seconds unmarried.” You laughed, rolling your eyes as Genya stood, helping you up after.

Nina shot Genya a glance, and she took the hint, ushering Alina, Mal and Zoya out of the room and passing Nina your blazer as she left.

Nina helped you into your blazer, running her thumb along your cheek with a smile.

“I never thought I’d see Kaz Brekker married,” she said. “But hey, I guess stopping you from getting hatecrimed had it’s benefits, didn’t it?”

You laughed, shrugging.

“I think that we’ll rebuild some of the Slat,” you said. “Make the rooms bigger. Get plaques declaring whos room is whos.”

“A golden plaque with Nina Zenik emblazoned on it?”

“Bolted to your bedroom door, Neens.”

“I love you, Morozova.” She said, trapping you into a tight hug.

“I love you back, Zenik.” You said. “Now, c’mon. I don’t think anyone would take too kindly to me being late for my own bloody wedding, would they?”

The wedding was small, taking place close to the entrance of the Little Palace. There were no chairs to sit on, but the few guests you’d invited didn’t mind it whatsoever.

The guest list was fairly small, considering your tight knit little family. Wylan was Kaz’s best man, Your best woman was Nina. The people standing in the small crowd were all familiar faces.

Wylans mother, Marya Hendriks, and Jespers father, Colm Fahey were the oldest there. Among them were Nikolai, Alina, Mal, Genya, Rotty and Specht, and the two members of the Dregs who’d originated the King of the Barrel nicknames. Their names were Terrowin and Kira, and when you caught their eyes, they were beaming at you both.

Jesper was officiating, and as you met his gaze, you remembered how he was practically bouncing off the walls the day that you’d asked him to officiate.

“Okay, now that they’re both here, we can begin!” Jesper couldn’t hide his excitement.

“Mr. Brekker,” Jesper laughed through the words. He’d not called Kaz ‘Mr. Brekker’ unless he was doing so in a jokey context. You knew that, had it been anyone elses wedding, they’d probably have gotten angry at Jesper for giggling through the words, but for you and Kaz, it just added to an already perfect day. “Do you take Y/N as your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do,” he said.

“Mr. Morozova,” Jesper glanced at you, and you met his gaze, having to stifle laughter when you realized just how wide his grin was. How happy he seemed. He looked like he was about to start bouncing off the walls and screaming with joy. “Do you take Kaz as your lawfully wedded husband?”

“Hells yes,” you said, giggling slightly. For a moment, Kaz let his lips lift into a grin. You matched it with your own smile and took his hand into yours.

“You’ve prepared your own vows, so, Mr. Brekker, sir, you go first!” Kaz glanced at Jesper inquisitively, grin still on his face as he started talking and met your eye.

“I’ve loved you as long as I’ve known you,” he said. “And when my heart says something, I’ve learned to listen to it. I love you with my entire heart and so much more, and I hate that I’m not good with words, because that’s all I can say. Nothing else accurately cultivates the feelings I’ve felt for you since that night, when you were broken and bruised underneath that saintsforsaken lamplight. I promise to love you every minute of every day, Brekker.” You’d agreed to change your last name to his. You’d be Y/N Brekker by the end of the night.

“Mr. Brekker,” Jesper said. “Since you’ll be married in a few minutes and I have to get used to that last name on you, you may say your vows!”

“When I was fifteen, I was caught and beat broken by a group of eight eighteen year olds,” you began. “But you saved my ass before I was killed, and it seems as though our relationship has been a series of saves ever since. Kaz Brekker, with the ring I’m about to put on your finger, I’m promising that I’ll do that forever. Please, though, try to avoid getting yourself kidnapped too often, okay?” His chest shook in silent laughter as he nodded.

“The rings, gentlepeople?” Jesper asked, Nina passed you the ring you’d slip into Kaz’s finger, and Wylan passed Kaz the one he’d put onto yours.

“Put them on,” Jesper said. You and Kaz both glanced at him once more, meeting each others eye thereafter, grinning and shaking your heads. It’d become very clear to you that the twenty four year old who you’d recruited to officiate your wedding was damn near close to letting out an excited squeal.

Kaz put the ring onto your ring finger and you did the same for him, waiting for Jespers next words as you took a half a step closer to Kaz.

“Kiss, you idiots!” Jesper said. Kaz laughed, pulling you close and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

He’d kiss you like nothing else later in the evening, when the only thing to bug you was a lamp that you’d left on, but you both agreed that a forehead kiss would be as far as you’d go in front of others. Kisses, to Kaz, were personal, and you respected and loved that about him.

“Saints, bless this fuckin’ union!” Jesper shouted. You glanced at Alina, who shot you a thumbs up and a nod as the party part of the wedding kicked off.

Terrowin and Kira were the first people that you and Kaz talked to.

“Did you secure it?” He asked.

“The property?” Terrowin was a Zemeni boy, with skin dark as night and eyes as warm as the sun.

“Or the trip?” Asked Kira, a girl from Shu Han with hair black as the feathers on a crow and blue eyes as cold as the Fjerdan ice.

“The property, first and foremost,” he said. “Did you get it? Did you give it the name I asked you to?”

“Yes, and yes,” said Terrowin. “Beside The Silver Six is a bookstore called Page Eighty-Three. It’s scheduled to open in the fall.” Your eyes widened as you made the connection.

“Page eighty-three?” You asked, smirk on your lips. Kaz shrugged.

“And the request?”

“The line from the poem will be put on the wall behind the clerks counter,” Kira said. “Just as you requested.”

“And the trip?”

“Your boat for Novyi Zem leaves in two days, Boss,” Kira said. “Two bells in the afternoon. It’s directly routed to Coftons docks.” Kaz nodded.

“Thank you,” he said. “We’ll see you when Page Eighty-Three opens.”

“Damn right we will,” you said. Terrowin and Kira laughed as they walked away.

You glanced around the room, spotting Jesper and Wylan perched at a piano, playing the music that everyone was dancing to. Marya and Colm dancing close to them. Nina and Zoya dancing like idiots and laughing throughout. Mal and Inej making conversation and Genya and Alina heading your way.

“Congrats, you two,” Genya said. “Can I expect to see you both tanned and rested up when you get back from Novyi Zem?”

“You’ll be in Ketterdam?” You asked. Genya nodded.

“For a couple of months, to make sure that your Jesper friend doesn’t colossally fuck things up while your friend Inej is doing her thing on the open ocean,” Alina said. “I’m there to visit for a bit, under the radar.”

“Thank you, Alina,” he said. “Thank you both. For everything that you’ve done in these past years.”

“No biggie, Brekker,” Alina said. “I don’t know you that well, but I see how happy you make Y/N, and he’s like a little brother. I care about his happiness.”

“You two are absolutely bloody adorable,” Genya said. “Now, back to my question, will you be tan, or at the very least, well rested, upon your return?”

“Kaz is pale,” you said. “He’ll burn like a crisp. Me? I don’t really know. I guess it depends.”

“We’ll be well rested,” Kaz said. “He’s a darkling. He can create shadow. I fully intend to use that to keep the sun out in the mornings.”

“I won’t do whatever you ask of me!” You quipped.

“You had no issue with that last night,” he said, raising a teasing eyebrow. “Or this morning!”

“Mal was right!” Alina shouted, her and Genya bursting into giggles. “Damn it, I hate it when that happens!” You laughed.

You took another glance around you, spotting your friends.

No, wait. Scratch that.

Not your friends.

Your family.

Your family was having a good time, eating, talking, dancing, laughing. They were enjoying themselves and congratulating you as you talked to Alina and Genya.

Kaz had an arm around your waist, his cheek pressed against the side of your head as his other hand gently turned your wedding ring around on your finger. He was talking to people without arguing with them. He was holding you like you were the only thing that mattered to him.

Your life was perfect.

Kaz was yours, you were his, and your life was full.

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tags: @whateverfandom00 @a-c-lee @incorrectquotesconaisseur @the7seannas @teatimeforusreaders @hunnybunimdun

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #shadow and bone #six of crows #shadow and bone netflix

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stressedoutteenager · 3 years

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with all the new info we got about the netflix adaption of the grishaverse, I felt more motivated to write something and recently wrote something about Kaz realizing - because Inej explains to him - that he should show more appreciation towards his friends, particularly Jesper

If you want to read on AO3: here’s the link

Say Thank You

“Would it kill you to say thank you for once, to let him know he’s appreciated?”, Inej says as soon as the door to Kaz’s office falls shut.

She hears Kaz wince quietly while she rummages through his desk drawers for anything that would help her clean his wounds. She’s been back from her latest voyage for almost a week. It had been a successful one and coming back to Ketterdam, she felt proud and accomplished.

Kaz could tell as soon as he saw her. She was glowing.

Several days passed peacefully, while she got to reconnect with her friends. They did all send letters but as correspondence is not regular when one is on the seas and at different coasts each day, catching up in person is much more fun and rewarding. Several peaceful days had passed, indeed, until somebody tried to break into Wylan and Jesper’s home. It is common knowledge that their home is constantly under security. And most people know not to mess with Dirty Hands, the Barrel Boss, and his associates. Some might even say his friends. Yet, somebody was stupid enough to do so. Maybe, stupid. Maybe, reckless. Maybe, brave.

Luckly, the intruders seemed to be only there to gather intel. They got scared off by Kaz and Inej arriving at their friends’ house. Instantly, the couple inside, that had not noticed anything going on outside, was interrogated about possible enemies. It could have been someone trying to break in to steal from their big fortune, but that thought was dismissed quickly. Doing that would be stupid and nothing else. However, this attempted break-in seemed to be only the start of it. Threats kept coming; break-ins at the Crow Club, vandalism at the Slat, cheating and brawls while gambling.

Kaz didn’t want his friends to be involved again, not after they left the Dregs behind - for the most part. Wylan is still in contact with Kaz for business and Jesper supports Kaz’s businesses in various ways when he can. But, they don’t interfere with the Dregs’ dirty business. Inej on the other hand… whenever she’s back in Ketterdam, she’ll share anything she finds valuable with Kaz. She would have never dreamed that she’d miss the dirty, crooked rooftops of Ketterdam and yet... she can never resist to jump from roof to roof like she’s flying. Those familiar, light steps of Inej’s always itched to be up above everyone else where she could blend into the shadows and listen. And listen she did. - An unknown but surprisingly quick and efficient working gang was targeting the Crows.

Kaz made a plan and his former crew members inserted themselves in it. Despite Kaz’s refusal at first, they did not relent.

But, things suddenly went south. Kaz was struck by a flying knife, none of his crew saw coming. Not even Inej, which she still feels horrible about. And then, chaos broke loose. It all happened so very fast, they were ambushed. Still, after all these years Kaz, Wylan, Jesper, and Inej can read each other’s expressions and can communicate wordlessly and accomplished to come out of the unplanned, unexpected brawl victorious.

Now, as Inej turns around, Kaz has rid himself of his jacket. His shirt is ripped, quite a big patch is red. Kaz only looks at Inej while crossing the room until he’s stood right next to her. Leaning on his desk, he takes the cotton ball from Inej’s hand.

“He didn’t have to join me.”, Kaz simply says.

Inej’s eyes wander over Kaz’s face, down his body to his torso. The red patch is still getting bigger. And Kaz is not doing anything about it. Inej steps closer, meets Kaz’s gaze and waits. A couple moments all he does is stare right back. His jaw set, eyes trained on the girl in front of him that didn’t think twice before exchanging her captain’s hat for her scaling shoes when she noticed it might be useful. Useful to Kaz.

Finally, he nods and she starts unbuttoning his shirt slowly. She takes care to not touch his skin, pulling the shirt away from him, towards herself, while taking one button at a time. When his shirt is finally completely open and pushed off his shoulders, the deep stab wound on his abdomen is on full display.

“Apply pressure.”, Inej instructs him as she hands him a towel and takes the cotton ball back. He doesn’t make a sound but Inej can feel his quick breath on her cheek. He's hurting. She does not want to make him more uncomfortable than he already is and pays attention to not touch him with her fingers. The cotton ball is now pinched between her fingers. “Neither of us had to. We wanted to. And if it weren’t for Jesper there, you’d be in much more pain than you are now.”, she lifts her head to look at Kaz and only when he meets her eyes, she adds, “Or dead.”

There’s no movement in his face. His eyes stay on Inej, when he says:“I can handle myself.”

“Sure. You’re the Bastard of the Barrel .”, Inej says through her teeth. She tells him to lift the towel and cleans as much of the blood as she can before taking a step back to get the bandages. She had seen them in the drawer at his desk. She goes back to stand in front of Kaz and cuts up the bandage into the right sizes.

“I know you’re trying. I can see it.”, she says, not meeting his gaze. They both know what she means. It is not a secret that Kaz goes to meet Jesper and Wylan regularly. Most people think it’s on business and yes, sometimes it is, but mainly, it is a pretense. Still having her eyes only on the bandages, she continues: “But sometimes it’s not enough. If Jesper weren’t there today, if he hadn’t used his power, you’d be injured so much worse.”

Positioning a bandage on his wound that is still bleeding, she continues to speak while applying more pressure than is needed: “And forget saying thank you, you barely glanced in his direction afterwards and gave Wylan the instructions on how to keep their home safe.”

“I..”, Kaz starts to talk but stops as soon as Inej leans closer to wrap a thin piece of towel to keep the bandage in place. She hovers so closely that he can smell the flowery smell in her hair, even through the dust and dirt of the brawl not even hours ago.

Inej mutters: “You can’t just always assume everyone around you knows what you think.”

She’s done with the big wound and steps back. To give him a break. And to be able to see his reactions to what she’s saying. Kaz smirks lightly when saying: “They are not supposed to.”, but that doesn’t impress Inej one bit.

“But your friend should. Your friend should know that you’re grateful for his help. That you appreciate them. Especially when they are this close to you and when they see you as family.”, Inej says, arms crossed over her chest but her tone of voice softer than before.

The adrenaline is only now wearing off and the fear that Kaz might be hurt badly is growing calmer.

Inej can see how much Jesper means to Kaz. And deep down, Jesper knows that, too. But he should not have to settle for only that.

Kaz does not say anything, does not show anything in his eyes. Inej shakes her head and turns around to put away everything she did not use and she can hear Kaz limping towards the trunk near the door, where he keeps spare clothes. While worrying about his stab wound, neither had thought about his leg. She hears Kaz wince before she even turns around and can see him struggling to put his shirt on. Inej closes the distance in quick, quiet steps and helps him wordlessly. She then continues to button it up.

“Thank you.”, Kaz says and Inej can feel his eyes on her. She doesn’t look up until she has buttoned up every button. That she can hide her small smile that way helps too. She is incredibly happy that he opens up more to her now than he ever did. Emotionally and physically, verbally or with his looks. She’s proud of his progress. And still, her point from before stands.

“You’re welcome.”, she says, finally looking at him and finds him looking at her with a small smile. She tries to school her features but it is too late. He saw the effect of that small smile. No matter how much older she is now and how many threats and problems she has faced by now with a straight face, Kaz still has the annoyingly exciting influence on her as if she’s still 16.

Kaz takes a deep breath without moving an inch away from Inej and says: “I have some immediate business to take care of. But in the morning I’ll go check up on Wylan and Jepser.”

“Good.”, Inej answers and allows herself to finally smile at him. His eyes focus on her lips drawn upwards; his hand itches to drag her closer. “I’ll accompany you.”

Kaz’s first instinct is to refuse. Out of habit. Even though he would like her to stay at the Slat with him. Even though they both know he might need a second pair of eyes when walking through Ketterdam the next morning. He bites his tongue and nods.

He takes out the key to his room from his pocket and hands it to her: “You’ll be least disturbed there. I’m going to send some of my people to take care of the remainder of today’s business.”

The next morning, a message boy arrives at the Slat, asking for a message to be given to Mr. Brekker, who had already left to go check up on the person who sent the message, inviting him to Breakfast.

Jesper is the one to open the door and is surprised at the speed at which his friends arrived but doesn’t comment on it. He lets them in and locks the door behind them. Inej greets her friend and continues towards the kitchen where an off-key singing Wylan can be heard. Jesper makes a move to join her but Kaz calls him back: “Jesper, a moment please.” Inej hears Kaz and knows she shouldn’t be as proud as she is. This should be a given. Still.

“Everything okay?”, Jesper asks, looking Kaz up and down.

Kaz sets his cane aside and nods. “Yes.”, and then does not know how to continue. Inej had said he should let his friends who see him as family know that he appreciates him. But that’s the problem. Jesper is like a brother to Kaz. It makes it harder to express his thoughts, not easier.

“Okay..”, Jesper says, a little suspicious.

“Just…”, Kaz continues and straightens his back and looks at Jesper properly. “Thank you… for your help yesterday.”

Jesper needs a moment to process what Kaz said, but then opts to play it off. He shrugs and waves it off: “Sure, no problem. It’s nothing.”

Kaz is tempted to let it go now. He said thank you. But he knows that once again Inej is right. “No, it’s not nothing. Without you there yesterday, I might have scarcely come out of the attack.”

He is looking Jesper in the eyes but is not showing anything more than his usual stoic gaze. And yet, Jesper knows Kaz means it. To that, he smiles and instantly wants to hug Kaz but knows better. Instead he nods, smiling, and tries not to beam.

They turn to go join the others in the kitchen, but Jesper’s step falters when Kaz adds: “But don’t ever put yourself in danger for me again.”

Kaz does not stop, he passes his friend and thinks, he does not want another brother dying before him.

#six of crows #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #crooked kingdom

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crowsvalentine · 6 years

Text

Little Crow Part 5b

Masterlist

A lot of different people show up to the Slat looking for a job or just for solitude. The slat offered a home to grown men in trouble with the law and teenagers who have too many debts to pay. When the dregs open the door one day and see a cradle, offering only a note for explanation will their leader take the baby in or throw her back to let Ketterdam have it’s way with her?

aka a baby shows up at the Slat and Kaz is Shook (probably making this into a series, maybe I’ll leave it as it is, idk)

Kaz stared at her for what felt like hours, not believing that she was there, in his room. She had changed since he’d last saw her, which came to no surprise, she’d just turned nineteen before she set off last, a lot had changed since then. She was no longer a teenaged girl for one thing. He took in her appearance now, she hadn’t lost her acrobat physique, if anything she looked stronger than she had. A year ago, she told him about her hair, it was still cropped just above her shoulders, the thick waves just brushing over the tops of them. With the changes that her travels had brought on, Kaz couldn’t help but admire how beautiful she still looked despite them, making her more so if anything. She smiled at him now, the smile he never realized how much he missed until that moment.

“Inej,” he whispered, afraid that if he spoke any louder he’d wake up and realize this was just one of his many dreams, “you’re here.”

“I am, and I see things have changed since I’ve been away.”

He’d forgotten about the girl in his arms, she’d become quiet from her sudden awakening, not knowing what was going on when she’d opened her eyes. Turning his head to look at her now, he noticed all of Crow’s attention was on Inej just as his had been. Though, hers might have been for a different reason.

“You look like me,” Crow said slowly, “Da, she looks like me.” Ketterdam had no shortage of Suli people, they had their own communities in the city that had been popping up over the years, but with Crow hardly ever needing to go out passed the mansion grounds, she hadn’t been exposed to many of them. The closest she had was Jesper, but even she could tell they weren’t the same.

“Da?”

Kaz’s eyes widened at the hurt that he could hear in Inej’s voice, for the thought of him giving someone else something that he couldn’t even give her. Looking up at her, he quickly shook his head, gently placing Crow down to stand next to him. Eyes not leaving Inej, he kneeled to Crow’s height, frowning before he finally turned away.

“Anika is downstairs, tell her you haven’t had dinner yet and that I said you can have waffles.”

“What about you?”

“I’m not hungry,” Crow frowned and crossed her arms, Kaz was painfully aware of Inej watching their interaction, assessing everything about it, trying to figure out what was going on before he could shock her with whatever he was going to say. Knowing Crow wouldn’t give up until he agreed to eat, he sighed, “bring me whatever you can’t finish eating, okay?” Smiling when Crow finally nodded, he stood, “your coat and boots are in the office downstairs, make sure you wear them.”

“Okay, and Da?” He raised an eyebrow when she started waving him down, but did so anyway, “good luck,” she whispered before finally running off and out the door.

“She’s cute,” Inej finally spoke, startling him into looking back at her, “what’s her name?”

“Kaia, but we call her Crow around here.”

“Kaia Brekker?”

“No, Kaia Rietveld, Brekkers are born from what is wrong in the world and there is nothing wrong with my Crow.”

“She is yours, then?”

“In everything but blood,” he paused, “but I love her as if she were.”

Inej only nodded, looking away from him for the first time since she’d arrived. Looking around the room, he started to notice a small smile creeping onto her face, finally the look of someone who had just come back home after a long trip. He always wondered what this reunion would be like, he expected he’d have a letter in advance to warn him of her arrival, that he’d meet her at the docks and be like any other couple who hadn’t seen each other in years. He should have anticipated her showing up unannounced, it was something she did all the time.

“It’s nice to see you focusing on something other than your work,” she said, “you do keep her away from it, right?” she sounded worried, not even knowing the girl for more than a few minutes and she was already worrying about her safety.

“Other than a few mishaps, she is kept away, she doesn’t even stay here with me.”

“Where does she stay then?”

“At the mansion.”

“And what do you tell people? Is she Jesper and Wylan’s daughter? Your daughter?”

“She’s my ward, less of a danger that way.”

She nodded again, this time using the silence to walk over to him, Kaz flexed his hand, itching to reach out for her, knowing that he could. Something else that had come from raising Crow was the practise it gave Kaz with touch. As a baby, Crow wasn’t fond of the feeling of leather when Kaz picked her up. He started slow, removing them and holding her through the blanket and slowly, after almost two years, he was finally able to help during her nightly bath. He only wore them out in public now, never at the mansion or in his own bedroom or office. Even now, he could see Inej’s eyes flick down to his bare hands, not shocking but something that made her smile grow a tiny bit bigger.

“You’ve changed, Kaz,” she said, “you’re-“

“Old?”

“We’re only twenty-four, not old.”

He subconsciously ran a hand through his hair, knowing that there were a few grays hiding despite his relatively young age. He knew they came from stress, but Crow had pulled one out a few days ago and she’d said her Oma Marya had hair like his. Marya wasn’t the youngest person in the world and Crow apologized for making him sad. He wasn’t sad, of course, but the comment reminded him he wasn’t seventeen anymore.

“I was going to say you’re still the same as when I left,” she paused, finally having reached him and from where she stood, just a step between them, she placed her hand up against his cheek, something he’d been able to handle since the first time she returned from a voyage.

“The same? I hear some of my new recruits talking and according to them I’m very-“

“They’re right, you are.”

Kaz smirked and he could tell Inej wanted to use the hand she was holding up to hit him, but she didn’t, instead she stepped even closer, slowly, waiting for him to step back. However, he didn’t. They’d done this only once, the night before she left, his going away and birthday present all wrapped in one. He’d given her a shiny new captain’s hat as well, but that wasn’t as important.

“Does Kaia know about me?” She asked just before he had the chance to lean down to her, he froze, raising his eyebrows at her.

“No, in the last four years, I had no intention of telling her about the other intelligent, beautiful, perfect Suli girl in my life, not like I loved her or anything.”

She laughed, and his smirk turned into a smile, earlier that day he thought about how he wanted to hear Crow laugh forever, but hearing Inej laugh now, he was reminded of how much he’d loved it even back when they were just starting this whole business.

“Loved?” She was teasing, he knew, but he couldn’t help but frown down at her.

“I love you, back then, now, nothing has changed,” he assured her, finally leaning down to kiss her.

Their kiss was something he’d been thinking about every day since it happened, and this one topped that one in everything. All awkwardness that their first one had been being gone with this one, it was more sure, deeper, a lot closer than their last one had been. That is, until they were forced apart by the door bursting open again.

“Da, Anika said she can’t-oh.” Inej turned her back to the door, hand going up to her mouth to stifle her laughter. Kaz stared at Crow, wondering what was going through her head at the sight of her Da being with a woman. She’d seen Wylan and Jesper kiss many times. There was even an incident when she’d seen a bit more than she was meant to and they’d played it off as a game, believable to a three-year-old who was half asleep and just wanting a glass of water. However, she knew Wylan and Jesper were a couple, practically married, but Inej was just a stranger to her, even if she’d heard the stories they all told her.

“Anika can’t what?” Kaz asked, trying to get her to think of something other than what she’d just seen. He was lucky Crow was easily distracted, it helped a lot with hiding things from her.

“Get me waffles, she said she has work.” She still sounded distracted, still in shock. Kaz sighed and nodded, remembering that he was the one who gave her to task of getting rid of their latest Squealer, Ilya. Kaz was supposed to do it but he had the unexpected drop off of Crow that enabled him from completing half the tasks for the day. Looking back at Inej, he frowned, as much as he’d love to spend the time with her, Crow came first, always.

He was about to speak but Inej had turned just then, smiling at Crow before kneeling to her height.

“You know, I make the best waffles, better than your Da,” Inej whispered, Crow looked between her and Kaz before laughing, her hands flying up to her mouth as they always did, “want to try them?” She nodded, not even second guessing the offer of food from a stranger. It worried Kaz a bit, what if it wasn’t Inej and really was a stranger offering it to her? However, the thought left his mind when Inej stood again, grabbing the coat she’d taken off at some point before taking Crow’s hand. The Slat’s kitchen was converted for medical needs, no one who lived in the place liked cooking anyway, it was wasted space. Any cooking they ever did was done in the kitchens of the club, it was practically unused there too so he had no reason to deny the request when some asked him.

Inej started leading Crow back out the door, Kaz watched how easily Crow took to her. Crow was naturally a trusting person, much to his distain, but she’d learned about being weary of people from him, finding out that not everyone was going to be her friend. He suspected her immediate liking to Inej was because of him, if she hadn’t seen her with him she would not have gone with her so easily.

“Coming, Da?” Crow asked over her shoulder before Inej could lead her out the door.

“Of course, I kind of want to try these waffles too, considering I’ve never seen Inej near a stove burner before.”

“Five years, Brekker, I’ve learned many things you haven’t experienced yet.” She turned her own head and winked at him, his eyes widened instantly, jaw going slack. They weren’t strangers to talk like that, but it had been so long since he heard it straight from Inej’s mouth that it shocked him. “C’mon, Kaz, your girls need dinner!” His previous thought vanished, his girls, Kaz liked the sound of that.

“Why did you never tell me about her?” Inej asked later that night.

Crow had fallen asleep on her shoulder on their walk back from the Crows Club, and after placing her in her old bedroom, Inej followed him back up to his own room. She was about to lock the door but Kaz stopped her, Crow wouldn’t be used to waking up there and she’d come straight up when she needed him. A locked door would just scare her even more. Inej had commented on how much he’d changed, behaviour wise, when it came to Crow. She said she liked it better than he used to be, he was nicer. He told her all about the letter that came with Crow, how he’d needed the help of Marya, how the Dregs all protected her as their own, everything from the day they found the cradle on the front step. Inej learned all about how Crow became the centre of the world for everyone, and how they’d all adapted to her being around.

“I tried, but I wanted you to see her instead of you thinking the worst,” he said, “and I was afraid of the chance you wouldn’t love her as much as we all do, as much as I do.”

“That wouldn’t have happened, have I never told you I love children? Three younger sisters, Kaz, Kaia sort of looks like my youngest.”

Inej had told him all about her family the night her parents had left, she hadn’t gone with them that day, too busy starting to plan her life as a sea Captain. They stayed up until they saw the sun the next day, Kaz just listening to Inej go on about her life before she was taken. With his knowledge, he should’ve known that Inej would love Crow, a happy reminder of the people she was missing from back home.

Laying there now, face to face on his bed, he still listened to her talk. This time it wasn’t the life she left behind, but the life she had found, the one that gave her as much joy as being up on the high wire did. She had five years worth of tales to tell him, he had the same to tell her, and that night they did the same as they did back then. The only time they stopped talking was when Kaz wanting to finish what was interrupted earlier, showing Inej that she didn’t have to settle for just touching hands and brief kisses. Inej was home, Crow was with him, and Kaz couldn’t have asked for anything more.

#i write for soc #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #kanej #jesper faher #wylan van eck #wesper #nina zenik #six of crows #crooked kingdom #2 consecutive fics #waddup

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iamarosegarden · 7 years

Text

Better Than That

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Part NIne -

Ao3

The tag

Whoop this is part seven aka The Ingredients. Enjoy!

Kaz’s gravely voice was unmistakably amused, “My concubine, huh?”

“That’s not the point. I think you should take him up on his offer,” Nina said, shoving the window up further. Inej climbed in and set herself on top of the stone table.

“I assume you mean as an apothecary, not a concubine,” Kaz said dryly.

“She has a point, there’s been an awful lot of sick-beds at the Slate lately,” Inej said as Kaz hauled himself through the window. Nina shut the window behind him after he pulled his cane in.

“I think,” Kaz began, leaning on his cane, “that there are several ways that he could be of use. Give him the ingredients, but tell him I expect a better explanation.”

He had undoubtedly put on a scheming face, but without Jesper to comment on it no one said anything. Kaz didn’t want him to know anything about Wylan, partially because he knew Jesper would get upset about withholding the medicine and partially because of whatever had caused Kaz’s scheming face.

***

Jesper was tired of all this busy work. Kaz kept sending him on runs that anyone could do. Jesper didn’t know why he just knew he was tired of it. Specht was probably tired of it too, considering he had to be Jesper’s babysitter everywhere he went. He hadn’t even been able to swing by Piękni Ludzie to check on Wylan and his sick friend…

He was supposed to be Dirthands’ number two, but Kaz couldn't trust him to walk around and run errands without having someone there to look after him and keep him busy. Specht was next to him, shoving a revolver back into its holster harshly. Jesper winced a bit at the treatment as he slid his pistols back in place, running his thumbs along the handles.

He supposed not everyone cared for their weapons as much as he did, especially if it was something like the piece of shit Specht had to carry around. Honestly, Jesper could shoot anything, but he’d never trade his pistols, or any pistol, for a revolver. Six shots manually loaded with his aim was more than enough, but he found magazines more convenient to carry around.

At the same time, his pistols were handmade by fabricators, which meant they were more than just pretty, they were more efficient, more accurate, he could always trust the bullet would go where he aimed it. With other guns, the bullets -factory made- wouldn’t always be a good fit for the barrel. Sure, it worked, but the bullet knocked around inside the barrel. That did not make for a good shot. It wasn’t bad if you were firing into a crowd, but they didn’t do that often.

In the Dregs you needed accuracy. That’s why Jesper was Kaz’s number two, that’s why Jesper treasured his guns, he could trust them. They were part of the only thing keeping him alive right now. Well, that and his amazing charm.

“Jeez, go easy on that thing. I know it’s a piece of crap but it didn’t do anything to you,” Jesper said, swinging an arm around Specht’s shoulders.

“Made me miss my damn shot‘s what it did,” Specht said, shrugging off his arm and walking ahead.

“Oh, don’t blame that on the gun,” Jesper laughed, jogging to catch up, “you’re just a bad shot.”

“Only compared to you, Jesper,” Specht grumbled, a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth.

“Yeah man, your talent is wasted on these stupid runs. And so is mine! What is Kaz doing?” he put on a rumbly voice that bared no resemblance to Kaz’s, “ah yes, it’s a great idea to send two of my best men, nay, my two best men, on stupid drug runs and errands.”

Specht looked over at Jesper. “Pretty sure I’m just here to make sure you don’t go to the gambling dens, Jes. So you should probably be wondering why he’s tryina’ to keep you busy.”

Jesper would have said Kaz wasn’t hiding anything from him, except that it made sense. Sure, sometimes Kaz would ignore him and get icy, but that was just Kaz. Jesper had to try his hardest not to let it affect him. And to make sure Kaz didn’t get into those moods because it usually meant Kaz was going to “take a calculated risk” and get himself hurt in order for a “bigger payoff”. But Kaz had never actively pushed Jesper away like this. What was he hiding?

***

The dining room at Piękni Ludzie kind of reminded Nina of the mess hall at Os Alta. It was loud with clinking and clashing and chatting from both the tables and the kitchen but with an underlying unease. At Os Alta, it was the war, but you knew you were somewhat safe at Os Alta. Here it was just life, and you weren’t safe anywhere.

Really, Nina thought as the bag bumped against her hip from where it was tied to her belt, she should give it to Wylan as soon as possible otherwise she’d have to keep braving the glares from him and his pet Fjerdan. She started toward their table, plopping down next to Wylan and grabbing a scone from a platter on the table.

“Hey kiddos, where’s my patient?” she said in greeting, taking a bite of the scone.

“Oh, ya know, sick, in bed, on the verge of being discovered by Misstress Isidore. The usual,” Wylan replied, looking at Conrad across the table. Nina was honestly pretty impressed by how snarky the kid could be when he wasn’t worried or embarrassed, a little less so when it was directed at her.

“Don’t be like that, Wy,” she said, leaning back in her chair. “I got the go ahead from Dirtyhands.”

***

“Okay, so here’s the thing about water hemlock,” Wylan began, bounding up the stairs with Conrad and Nina on his heels. “Liling would have been dead much sooner if we hadn’t been giving her the charcoal, even if it was a watered down version. But now that we have this,” he shook the bag triumphantly as they continued up the stairs and into the hallway. “We can get rid of any traces of the poison with a concoction of items that counters the effects. It might not work. But I think it will. Probably.”

“I mean, what does she have to lose?” Nina said, stepping off the stairs behind them. Wylan didn’t bother turning around to scold her while he opened the door to Liling’s room.

“Will you get the other stuff?” he says to Matthias as he walks over to Liling’s desk, shaking Slava awake from where she was sleeping in the chair before pushing it out of the way. Wylan silently thanked his instincts for making him ask Jesper for this as he dumped the things out on the table. “This would have been better with fresh stuff but this will work, send my thanks to Jesper.”

“Maybe you can thank him yourself some time,” Nina said, slumping against the wall to watch him work.

Wylan didn’t really have room in his head to ponder what she meant by that. “Hey Slava, will you get me a knife from the kitchen or something?” Slava just stands up and opens one of the desk drawers, silently pulling out a knife and handing it to Wylan, who just shook his head before refocusing on the task at hand.

Of course, he had an idea of what he wanted to do with the ingredients. But it was a very, very vague idea. He desperately wished he had the tools to make something better, but right now he just had to prepare everything as best he could and pray. The leaves were pretty dried out…

He suddenly felt very out of depth when Conrad clattered back into the room with the metal plate and cup and lantern. He’d never done this before. Sure, he’d been helping Liling with charcoal but he’d never actually made a cure, an actual remedy before. This was all based on speculation, and even if he was correct these working conditions were not ideal. He ached for cleaner supplies, a cutting board and a mortar and pestle but again grit his teeth and cuts the lemon balm as fine as possible against the table. There was no way this was going to work.

He lit the lantern, told Conrad to fill the cup with water, and started chopping up the astragalus. “Do you have any clothes with mesh in them?” he asked Liling, who pointed to a top resting on the dresser. He peeled back the first layer of cloth and cut out a messy rectangle of mesh with the knife, staining the edges with green from the leaves.

Now the tricky part; he carefully stuck one of the acorns on the tip of the knife before holding it above the fire, waiting for it to catch. When it did he quickly used a hair pin to shove it off the knife and onto the plate. He did the same with two other acorns before so that he had a small bonfire of the three of them going on the plate.

Nina coughed into the crook of her arm and Wylan looked up for the first time in a while to see the room filled with smoke. He gave them all an embarrassed smile. The windows didn’t open so they just had to put up with it till it diluted. Liling was sat up in bed now, Nina having moved to the abandoned chair. Conrad and Slava apparently having gone downstairs so that Mistress Isidore didn’t get more suspicious than she already was. He would have asked what Nina was still doing with them, but one of the acorns let out a pop and he had to spin around and hastily fan out the fire out before they just burnt to ashes. Once they cooled downed he pried them open to add the dried insides to the pile.

He cuts a thin ribbon-sized piece off the shirt and ties the mesh into a makeshift tea bag. Now all they have to do is make the tea. He should probably leave and let Nina do it because he’s sure Mistress Isidore is having a fit. But he can’t force himself to leave, so he just hopes that Marel stepped in for him and continues to focus on the water. It’s nearly at a boil.

***

Watching Wylan work was exhilarating, in a way. Nina watched as he became surer of his actions with each completed step until at the end he handed the steaming cup to Liling with only the smallest traces of doubt on his face.

Liling carefully sipped the tea. “How long until it takes effect?” Nina asked, looking at Wylan, who pursed his lips before speaking.

“It should take about a day, but it will be gradual. Don’t expect to feel better right away.” The last part was directed toward Liling, who nodded and handed him the empty cup. He set it on the desk and turned back to Nina. “Why are you still here?”

Nina stiffened in the chair. “I just wanted to make sure everything went well,” she said. Wylan looked at her like it was a lie, which she could understand, but was still slightly offended. “I suppose I should leave then-

She was cut off. “Wait- actually, you should stay. Mistress Isidore won’t be suspicious if you’re not downstairs, and someone should stay up here in case something goes wrong,” Wylan said it softly like he really wished it wasn’t true, like he was still mad at her.

She smiled at him, “If you insist.”

So she stayed, she stayed until the workday was over, and Slava tried to relive her. She told Slava to get some sleep, and continued to stay, and watched as slowly, very slowly, a healthy flush returned to Liling’s face, and her fever broke, and her heart beat returned to something strong and steady.

#btt #better than that #soc #soc fanfic #six of crows #six of crows fanfic #six of crows fic #wylan van eck #wesper #jesper fahey #nina zenik #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #iamarosegarden #iamarosegarden writes #iamarosegarden fanfic

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crowsvalentine · 7 years

Text

Little Crow 3

Masterlist

A/N: Idk what this chapter was supposed to be about but here

“Crow’s made him soft.”

“Dirtyhands died the moment we brought that thing in the door.”

“Its been two years, has anyone seen him kill someone? Ruffed someone up for cheating at his club? No.”

The last comment was badly timed, as it was said just as the front door to the Slat swung open and the subject of their conversation walked in. Everyone was silent as they watched him calmly remove his hat, hanging it on a rarely used hook next to the door, he slid off his jacket, hanging that as well before turning around to face the few Crows sitting in the room that afternoon. They stared wide eyed at his gloved hands rolling his sleeved up to his elbows, there was something a bit too normal about the act to be done by Kaz Brekker. He didn’t do normal.

“Walls are thin in the Barrel, thought you were all smart,” he tsked, “thank you, Squealer, loyalty is always appreciated.” The red-haired boy earned the name for a reason, he smirked at his groups before dashing up the stairs, not eager to stick around for what was to come. The rest scowled after him, he was new to the team, still gaining their leader’s trust. “Don’t worry, he’ll be dealt with, if he snitches on you why should I expect him not to do the same to me.” They all nervously laughed at his statement, not willing to anger him anymore by staying silent. “Now, what is this I hear about me going soft?”

“It was nothing, we swear,” one said, his voice cracked but Kaz only looked at him, as if bored by the situation entirely.

The lone girl in the room looked around at her crew and scoffed, Kaz wasn’t surprised, Duchess wasn’t one to stand down from a confrontation. “Scaredy cats, all ya,” she said before standing. Despite her significant height disadvantage from the rest of the world, her stance made her always seem like the biggest person in the room, that is, when Kaz Brekker wasn’t present. He could see the ever-present unease people felt when he was around, he reveled in it. “Your little girl’s made ya soft, Brekker, you just ain’t the same as you were.” He admired her ability to tell things straight, however, he didn’t appreciate that she spoke to him like that.

“Get out, Viktorya,” he commanded. She was taken aback by her name, no one knew her real name, she’d never said it out loud since she moved to the city. Not even once. “Are you going to stare at me or get out before you make me angrier than I already am?” She gave one last look behind her and stormed out through where he’d just come. Kaz didn’t even flinch when the door slammed, he just watched the uneasy shifting of the men sitting in front of him. “She’s lucky she’s new, she doesn’t know enough for me to care where she runs off to,” he said, the three men jumped when the cane was lifted and pointed to them, “you all, however,” he shrugged, “different story.”

Up in his room he stared at himself in the mirror as he cleaned off. What they were saying was true, Dirtyhands seemed to be no more, and people were starting to notice. It wasn’t that he was actively trying to do better for Crow, it just sort of happened when she came along. He started giving second chances when he wouldn’t have before, he’d hit to prove a point and not to kill, he was changing and there was something he didn’t like about it. He needed to find someone who hadn’t paid their debt to make himself feel better.

Heading back down to his office to do paperwork, he found himself the subject of everyone’s attention. Everyone too scared to move an inch or say the wrong thing as he passed, making the trek down from his room eerie with the silence and all eyes on him. He expected it, he’d just crippled three of them to prove a point, it seemed to have worked. It wasn’t until he noticed a familiar mop of red hair poking out of a room did he stop.

“Squealer, follow me,” was all he said before continuing.

The young boy hurried after him, all confidence from before vanishing when he got knowing looks from everyone. This was routine, after all. When they reached his office, Squealer hovered at the door. “Come in and shut the door.” He quickly did as he was told but stayed as far from where Kaz took a seat as he possibly could. Kaz didn’t say a word, for almost ten minutes the boy was forced to stand quietly as he watched his leader shuffle around some papers and write some things down. Just as he opened his mouth the ask why he was there, Kaz looked up at him. “You’re not the first Squealer we’ve had,” he started. The boy gulped, already knowing the story of his predecessor. “A girl, younger than you, she told me about a few members who were planning a coup. Of course, I stopped it and got rid of the planners, dropped them one by one head first into shallow canals,” this part of the story didn’t worry him, it was what was coming next that had him growing more and more ready to run away. “She was good to me for a while, but then I learned she was feeding secrets to my enemies.”

“Mr. Brekker, I swear I won’t do that-”

“I know you won’t, Ilya, because your tongue will be fed to the same rats that took hers and you’ll join her scrubbing the floors of the Crows Club on your hands and knees until you’re too old and frail to be of any use to me,” he threatened, “you’re my personal mole and I hope you take this job seriously. You did good today and if it stays like that, you can expect to have this job for much longer than the last one.” He was finished talking but Ilya stood at the door, unsure if he was allowed to leave or not. “Get out, and clean yourself up I don’t need my crew smelling like urine.” He dashed out the second the words left his mouth, but before Kaz went back to his work, the door squeaked open, Ilya’s head popping back in.

“Flattery won’t get me anywhere, I know, but everyone who says your going soft is wrong. You’re still as scary as the day I heard about you, Mr Brekker,” he said. Kaz wanted to smile at the crack of his voice, when the door closed again he allowed himself to. The boy was young, only thirteen years old, he’d be scared of a mouse if it gave him the right look. Looking back down at his papers he sighed, if only everyone was like thirteen-year-old boys, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case and Dirtyhands had to make a few more appearances to make sure his reputation didn’t completely deteriorate.

Watching Crow sleep was a new favourite pass time of his. Ketterdam was a city that was always bustling with activity, Crow was the one thing that pulled him away from all that. Clutching her stuffed crow, which she had recently named Breck, she was completely at peace in a city that didn’t even know the word. He came over expecting her to still be awake, was actually surprised by finding her like this. She’d come to figure out his schedule for visiting, would even stay up for hours when he was late just to watch him creep into her room thinking she would be asleep. The first time it happened she’d managed to surprise him, the only person to ever accomplish such a thing. He was quiet, so quiet, but then he heard a scream and a giggle coming from the bed he jumped, not expecting it in the slightest. Today was more of a surprise than then, however, her being fast asleep was a rarity that Wylan and Jesper celebrated every time it happened.

“I’ve changed because of you,” Kaz whispered, moving a piece of hair out of the girl’s face, “I might lose everything I built just because you took over my life.” Her eyes opened sleepily and he froze, scared that he’d woken her up.

“Da,” she said, her eyes closing again.

Kaz was frozen. Da. Did she think he was her father? If she would call anyone da is should be Wylan, he was the one who did the most for the girl. Kaz knew she grew an attachment to him but not on that scale. He was probably just being stupid, it was probably just baby gibberish that didn’t mean anything. Pulling on his coat and grabbing his cane, he couldn’t help but give the girl another confused look before walking out.

Sitting down at his old desk, he stared at the tiny piece of canvas he now kept with him. Crow stared back at him, smiling, Marya had done well with the painting. Wylan always joked that Crow didn’t have to hide from the world, she was too happy to have any relation to Kaz. Kaz wondered if he’d be better off if she was left on the Van Eck Mansion’s doorstep instead of his own. He’d have cared much less about the baby that way. He wouldn’t care about the man he was if she wasn’t left in his care. Even better, she wouldn’t have a care for him either.

Da. Her small voice kept replying in his mind and he couldn’t shake it no matter how hard he tried. He was not her father. He’d done nothing to provoke such an opinion in the last two years.

He often read the letter that he kept from her cradle, wondering why he’d been chosen by whoever it was to watch over the child. “She is one of you, I hope you will treat her as such.” He read that line over and over again. It was true but being one of him meant a life that no one should be forced to live. Leaving her with him had already forced him into thoughts about having the girl work in his gang when she was old enough, he hadn’t had a thought like that in ages but just the memory of giving her those slippers made him hate himself even more. This year her present was just a book filled with blank drawing for her to colour in. It was done by one of his more talented Dregs, a series of old gang symbols and places Kaz had done jobs, she wouldn’t understand it but he would find it amusing that she’d be scribbling all over places and people he did the same too, in his own way of course.

Maybe he was okay with Crow thinking of him as her father, he wouldn’t deny her being his to anyone who asked. Well, those he’d be willing not to lie to of course. If Jesper referred to her as his daughter, he’d take pride in saying yes, Crow was his. He'd secretly given her his family's name anyway. Maybe changing isn’t such a bad thing either, she could grow up knowing that Kaz Brekker wasn’t a monster without it being a total lie. He still had old reputations to draw on for intimidation, he was still Dirtyhands, just one that no longer needed to get his hands dirty is all.

A knock on the door pulled his attention away from the painting, no one ever bothered him when he was in his own room, it was an unspoken rule. However, he was thankful for the letter he was handed when he answered it.

“I’ll be on a ship to Ketterdam in one week, make sure there’s waffles” was all it said.

Kaz smirked at the paper, though it wasn’t signed, he knew exactly who wrote it by the neatly looped letters and just the mention of a crew favourite.

Nina Zenik had not changed in the last five years Kaz hadn’t seen her. She still wore her figure hugging dress, her brunette hair still fell down past her shoulders, and she still had crumbs in her cleavage. She hugged Jesper once she stepped off the ship and Kaz surprised even himself when he allowed her to wrap her arms around him as well.

“Getting soft, Brekker?” She asked, Kaz smiled and shrugged.

“Might be.”

#i write for soc #kaz brekker #six of crows #crooked kingdom #nina zenik #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #inej ghafa #matthias helvar #kanej #wesper #eventually #six of crows fic

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