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#losing my shit and everything in between
matryosika · 4 months
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so when was i supposed to find out that hyuNJIN HAS A FUCKING HAPPY TRAIL?! '? *? #? $?? $?'? $? $? $?
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moongothic · 5 months
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The worst part about trying to figure out what Crocodile's deal is that because he's so fucking irredeemably evil in Alabasta... Like... Yeah he's just irredeemably evil. Like I love him but he did cause countless casualties, a ton of pain and suffering and literally attempted to blow up a million people
Like no amount of theoretical "trying to do it to save his son from the Government" or "trying to stop the Government from hurting anyone else" or just "doing it for the greater good" is going to make him any less of a mass murderer
But also Robin absolutely 100% helped with all of that shit simply because she wanted to read the Poneglyph for herself.
No amount of her intending to betray Crocodile from the begining and sabotaging his plans erases the fact that Robin also caused countless people to starve to death and die in the civil war. Her sabotages only succeeded out of sheer luck, and only spared the lives of the people at the final battle. She has the blood of countless innocents on her hands. Because she wanted to read history.
But her crimes were swept under the rug because she has a sad backstory and her sabotages worked out just at the nick of time by sheer dumb luck
So Croc??? Just??? Is there a chance??? At all???
But also he did literally intend to sell Buggy into slavery
Like, fuck Buggy, but jesus
What's also killing me is that we like. Don't know what Luffy thinks of Crocodile right now. Which really is like. The thing that will decide how we, as the readers, are supposed to feel about Crocodile. Luffy is our POV
Like we don't know what Luffy's opinion of Crocodile is after he helped save Luffy (and spared Ace once) during the Summit War. Like Luffy clearly fucking hated the man in Impel Down and the two interactions they had during the War weren't like positive (in the sense that Luffy himself didn't think of the interactions as particularly positive. Defending Whitebeard from being attacked once and then being like "wait what HIM?!" when Crocodile defended Ace. To be fair, in the midst of the chaos, there wasn't much time to spend on Pondering On Such Things because Ace needed to be saved, and Oda goes out of his way to not show us what's going on inside Luffy's head, because it's all meant to be out in the open anyways. Regardless, these weren't like "yay it's Crocodile! :)" moments for Luffy is what I mean)
But also Luffy was very grateful of Law for saving his life and was willing to put his trust into Law for their alliance- of course, they weren't explicitly enemies to begin with, rivals at most, but still. Luffy respects those who help him.
But also Luffy grew during the timeskip. Like he's not that clueless anymore (like he finally understands Hancock is in love with him etc), and similarly Luffy gets that Buggy is an absolute loser now. But also Buggy did also help save Luffy's life (even if it was by accident), and while IDK if Luffy is aware of that, I don't think that helped improve Luffy's impression of Buggy
So like. The fuck does Luffy think of Crocodile, at this moment? Even with the Cross Guild reveal, he didn't even really comment on Croc and just focused his energy on being confused about Buggy being "the leader" of CG. IDK it feels almost intentional or something, that we don't know what Luffy thinks?? Especially since we did get Zoro's opinion on Mihawk in the situation?? Or am I delulu?? (Sidenote. I'd love to know what Robin would have to say about Crocodile helping save Luffy's life. What Jinbei might think of the final words Crocodile left him with before blasting them out of Akainu's reach. But mainly just Robin's thoughts)
Like IDK my best guess would be that Luffy still hates Crocodile just the same but is like grossed out by technically owing him one??? In the classic
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-kinda way, you know? And that he'd be just kinda confused about it?
Because I can't fucking imagine Luffy being like "oh we're cool now" with Crocodile, let alone "Yay Crocodile :) He saved my life!". But also like. Luffy does kind of owe Croc one. Kind of. And Luffy is usually very respectful of that kind of thing. Aaaaaaaa???
(Also does. Does Luffy even know it was Crocodile who yeeted him and Jinbei out of Akainu's reach to begin with. 'Cause he was unconcious. Knocked the fuck out. Does. Does Luffy even know. Did anybody tell him???)
I just.
There's the reasonable part of me that knows Crocodile is an irredeemable evil dickbag and everything he has ever said and done up to the most recent chapters support that. He is too far gone.
And then there's the absolutely delulu part that loves a tragic villian who gets a heartwrenching redemption that's looking for any fucking sign that could indicate Crocodile could maybe be one
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danothan · 1 year
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it’s hard to box any of them as just one thing, they have the range
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itsthegirlinthebowtie · 8 months
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fulcrum….sabine finally wearing her armor…!!! ahsoka flexing and using only one lightsaber against the inquisitor because she only needs one to absolutely destroy them…very snips of her…. “funny, he never mentioned you”!!! carson teva my boy…the way sabine caved because she loves Ezra and couldn’t bring herself to risk losing the opportunity to get him back…fucking ANAKIN AND AHSOKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT FUCKING HAPPENED FUCK I’M NOT OKAY. HER FACE WHEN SHE HEARD HIS VOICE NOBODy TALK TO ME
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megumi 🤝🏽 yuuji
dying even if it’s only for a good minute only to be brought back to life bc fate realizes if they died for real then they would need to find someone else to fuck over. those two are like fates favorite barbie dolls.
apologies if this post is going to seem all over the place, just bear with me. i don’t even know if you’re going to see this BUT it’s okay bc i need to get this out my system 😭.
starting off — god, imagine the chaos that will ensue when megumi tells nobara & yuuji about his very tragic history with the zenins. but like he wouldn’t even tell them straight up, he’ll just make a little deadpan joke (my sarcastic, sassy son) & the others would look at him like : ??? wtf do you mean by that sea urchin head???
like imagine itafushikugi going shopping for like traditional japanese clothes for a little festival or some shit (megumi was dragged by his spikes to come along) & nobara is having the time of her life finding outfits for her & the boys. like it got to the point where she’s dressing them herself & she shows megumi an outfit that looked similar to the robe he was forced to wear bc of the zenin (it’s obviously not the same) & megumi just refuses to wear a robe with similar color patterns to the zenin robe.
megumi: that looks like the outfit the zenin forced me to wear. i wonder what happened to it, cause the last thing i know, i got blood all over it. so as the second member of the zenin hate club, im not wearing that….
megumi: wait that blue one looks decent. i’m going to try it on.
nobara:
yuuji:
nobara: …did he really leave without giving us the “ getting blood on a zenin’s robe” story?
imagine maki complaining about naoya in front of the first years, & maki just brings up naoya’s onesided beef with megumi & her stories of how naoya was so petty back in his childhood made him remember who tf naoya is (megs have selective memory, it’s okay)
megumi: ugh, he was so annoying. i remember when he came to my middle school back when gojo was busy dealing with the aftermath of his evil ex boyfriend evil plan & he basically kidnapped me. i was stuck in a car with that man for 40 minutes..you would hate him nobara.
maki: yeah you would hate him nobara.
yuuji: i’m sorry he kidnapped you??? why did you say that so casually?
nobara: fuck that. megumi is a disney princess, we know this already. BUT we’re just gonna gloss over gojo had an evil boyfriend?
& imagine when megumi finally tells his friends about the zenin clan was when yuuji just came back from the dead & they were asking how tf that’s possible. & somewhere in that conversation megumi just let it slip that his heart stopped beating once & itakugi looks at him in silence:
megumi: yeah the zenin clan basically forced me to exorcise some curses & complete a ritual to get a snake — that snake fucking bit me. it was my least favorite. but yeah i basically died. then yuuta brought me back. then i was blind for a good minute.
nobara, yuuji, & even sukuna:
megumi: it was a terrible time for me. gojo was even more clingier & protective. it got to a point where he started treating me like i was 6 again… reading me bedtime stories, singing me lullabies & describing the pictures in the stories since i was…yknow blind.
cue itakugi & even sukuna wanting to burn down the zenin but ofc they can’t do that…so they settle for pulling pranks on the members & traumatizing them ofc.
IM ALSO imagining how funny it would be for yuuji to be jealous of yuuta. like bro is basically living yuuji’s fantasy world. i’m giggling at the idea of yuuji fighting for his life to be either megumi favorite or nanami’s favorite.
you also opened my eye to the potential of maki & tsumiki… like i also like to imagine that in a happier world, they would understand each other on such a deep level. but they would also find parts of the other that they wished they had. but on a happier note i like to imagine that megumi would suffer whenever it was brought up that his aunt is basically dating his step sister. like maki would be a menace to megumi. every little thing he do? maki is texting tsumiki in a corner.
maki watching itafushi cook together in the kitchen: i can’t believe megumi has a boyfriend. it’s so cute that he thinks that he can hide this from me. lemme go snitch to tsumiki.
maki listening to megumi describe his fight with sukuna, a cursed spirit who apparently has a stripping problem: oh my god. megumi is truly yuuta’s boy. they both got cursed spirits obsessed with them…i need to tell tsumiki.
maki to megumi after witnessing his suicidal tendencies: don’t make me tell tsumiki.
i honestly love your story. the way you added so much more to megumi childhood is beautiful. it just make soooo much sense. but also your characterization of gojo is so precious to me. i’m waiting for gojo to go apeshit on the zenin. i’m also giggling in anticipation at gojo finding out about yuuta attachment to megumi. i like to imagine him to be kind of worried about it actually, bc that’s not fucking healthy. but i imagine him getting used to it since megumi will have a protector in the form of yuuta & his power of love.
i’m also curious to see mai’s role in this story since.
*sighs in disappointment at gege writing choices*
since she had a crush on megumi…yeah. but imma just interpret that as she wants to be his family. it keeps me sane
i also wanted to ask if there’s a chance that you would write a megumi POV of what happened in the zenin clan? ofc i would understand if you wouldn’t since it leaves a much more ominous feeling to the events. plus yuuta running commentary is a good mix of angst & humor so ofc i understand.
Yuuji: man fushiguro almost checks the boxes for a Disney princess. except he was never kidnapped or enslaved
Megumi, sold to the Zenin clan, who later kidnapped him: *sweating*
Nobara and Yuuji would be the co-vice presidents of the "fuck the Zenin clan" club if they knew what happened. They would be the presidents but yuuta and maki are already in a death match for the position and they're trying to avoid the bloodshed. they are not allowed to be treasurer because neither of them know how money works.
megumi is unaware that a formal club has been formed.
Megumi is suffering SO HARD in any world where maki and tsumiki are together. they won't stop ganging up on him when it comes to his love life and general wellbeing and holding hands where he has to see it. maki lectures him about his suicidal tendencies in the field, holds up one finger, calls tsumiki, and lets her pick up where she left off. maki tries to talk to him about relationships one (1) time and he tries to drown himself.
see i'm pretty open to writing a megumi POV but it, like most of my stories, falls in this nebulous category of "if i have the time." like, i've thought about writing megumi's pov before, there's a lot of stuff that happened that exists as like, background knowledge for me that will never make it through yuuta's pov because it doesn't make sense for yuuta to find out about it. It would be very tonally different, but if i did write it, it would be a different work entirely and i'd be making sea glass gardens into a series.
i'm eternally tempted by the siren call of making my works into a series. If i did it with sea glass gardens, i would want to add a one shot of Megumi's pov during the time leading up to sea glass gardens and a short multi-chapter of the gojo, nanami, shoko teen parenting trio. If I have the time, it will exist; if i don't, it won't.
#ironically the one thing that WOULD endear yuuta to yuuji is finding out about all of this#yuuji would instantly love him for all he did for Their Boy. it's the only way i see megumi actually fessing up to what happened#i think megumi's just someone who's really private and uncomfortable with people knowing a lot about him and he would try to hide this from#itakugi for as long as he could. it probably eats at him that the second years all saw him like this. i think he just hates feeling vulnera#megumi gives him the /extremely/ abridged version of events to get yuuji and nobara to chill about yuuta and how he acts (yuuji is convince#that there's no one who could be that perfect nobara keeps looking for homosexual explanations) and they instantly veer hard into finding#out everything there is to know about the zenin and how to hurt them and also yuuta's like. beloved in their eyes. megumi is their boy.#they love their boy. yuuta saved their boy. ergo they love yuuta now. it's simple math.#tonal shift is a huge sort of struggle with me as a writer just because i change my styles with every narrator#which is why it's kind of hard to flip between works if the tone is too different. i was trying to juggle sea glass gardens and toy rosarie#and i was just internally screaming b/c yuuta and jack could NOT be more different with narration styles and i was like 'fuckkkkkkkkk'#with yuuta i structure sentences with a lot of 'space' in them. i don't have a better word for it i'm not actually trained in writing so#it's all just whatever shit i made up along the way i have no officially terms. anyway. Yuuta's sentences are structured to have this sort#of detached distance between the actual message and the start of the sentence. So we end up with a lot of sentences that start w/ structure#like “yuuta thinks” and Yuuta feels“ b/c I think of yuuta as a very detached person because of how he lived. it's a survival mechanism.#a lot of the meat of what he feels has to come in almost absentmindedly. So you end up with Yuuta's suicide scene and losing the knife and#him having a line like “He swears he never meant any of the bad things he did” and the fact that he thinks his own survival is a bad thing#/he's/ to blame for is almost backdoor'd in as a given premise. it's assumed. it's not even the point of the sentence. he's been living wit#jack murdock meanwhile is an intensively retrospective character that's meant to make you almost feel claustrophobic from how “close” his#narration style is. a lot of the actual message is conveyed through imagined scenarios and emotional recollection. he's a character steeped#in regret who has been torturing himself with it for years. yuuta's survival mechanism is isolation but jacks been yearning to get back wha#he lost for so long and dreaming of it that he's steeped in really vivid internal imaginings.#with jack you have multipage lamentations remembering his son buying cereal with him but yuuta drops the fact that his parents stopped#loving him at some point and it's not even the most important thing in the sentence. it's included as a qualifier because yuuta has accepte#so much of the bad things that happened to him when he shouldn't have whereas jack hasn't accepted ANYTHING that happened.#Yuuta uses a lot of very clean cut grammatically correct narration and jacks is riddled with a bunch of “ain't's” and grammatical errors.#he has an accent for lack of a better term. so you end up w/ two characters who convey information in different ways prioritize different#info in their sentences use different sentence structures etc. so megumi would have a /very different/ style and tone from yuutas that woul#sort of shape any fic that came through him because all of my fics are primarily shaped through the narrator's voice. it's also why I set#kind of hard lines about whether a fic can have any narrator or just specific narrators b/c it determines the whole tone.
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tell me you've never had to use skype without telling me you've never had to use skype: you complain about discord
#liz blogs#what am i doing that i am actually completely 100% ok with the way discord runs right now and what they have behind paywalls#what am i doing that other people seem to not be doing that they get frustrated#i hate corporations more than the next guy but they do. still have to make money. to Function#its just bad when the app barely functions Without giving it money#its the difference between having a basic car and having four wheels 1 seat and a steering wheel. only the latter is bad#but the vanilla discord experience is... just fine?? you're not losing out on any Necessary features without it#it's Nice having custom colors and profile themes and funny icons but you don't Need them#the objectively best feature of nitro is the emojis and i am fine shelling out $30 A Year to use them where and however i want#in the basic nitro tier because i cannot fathom how much money it must cost#to run discord and host the insane amount of data it does. can you even Comprehend the sheer Size of what it stores#it is in fact the Only subscription to Anything i currently have#i think the 'fuck corporations fuck capitalism' attitude is Excellent but i think when most people Cannot think critically at all#everything is just black/white to them and they see Any service trying to make money as Bad and start screaming about it#tumblr and discord are on my very short list of services that i am actually very happy with and fine letting them make money#i feel strange watching the internet turn on discord the last couple years. it's still the same app. nothing has changed#literally trying to encorporate n//fts and AI is the only real Shit Move i can think they've ever made and to be fair#like every fucking company is jumping on that right now out of ignorance and not malice#nitro is not the problem though 🥴 are y'all ok#yes i saw people pissing and shitting their pants about discord giving nitro users more themes and thought they were insane#dark mode/light mode is just fine for basic functionality. you dont Need colors. shut up and go burn down an amazon warehouse instead
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lvmbien · 1 year
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dying inside buT IM ALMOST THROUGH CHAPTER 67... just waiting for that last 60 minute wait time to pass
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pilotstreets · 1 year
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god. not to be sad online. but im sad online
#um. sorry i went on a really really long rant abt my emotions in the tags. hehehoho im sad!#im just like. there's no way im getting older. i feel like i haven't changed since i was 14 and i feel so disconnected from everything#my birthday is in like 3 weeks but i keep thinking im turning 15 or 16 again and i'll be able to live my teenage years again and#do it right this time or something but no! that's not how that works! obviously!#when my best friend turned 18 she immediately started saying ''im an adult im different im older'' but like#i think about how i'll be 18 soon and im just scared and im going to be holding onto teenage years and#fantasies about them that will never happen and it's just exhausting#i know i sound like such a dramatic teenager but i AM a dramatic teenager!#i had so much shit happen to me that made me lose out on so much of being a teenager and it's like#crushing that i'll never get those years back and other peoples choices ruined my life before i had a chance to have much of one#and i've missed out on so many experiences that all my friends got and i feel such a barrier between me and other people#for that reason and i also feel a disconnect between me and literally everybody i know#and making friends is literally impossible for me anymore and i just feel like i keep losing friends and one day i'll wake up and#i won't have anyone anymore. and i find it hard to talk to people who were my best friends for awhile and i just fall deeper into this#pit of loneliness every day and there's nothing i can do so i just give up. i dunno#im so tired and im just so so lonely and done with. existing#and im also never anybody's first choice which is always annoying but#and it's just.... heartbreaking to think about how my best friend will never choose me when her other best friend is there and#how when we all hang out they're both actually mean to me and there's just nothing i can do other than text my mom and cry#and it makes me doubt how much she cares if she gets that way so easily y'know?#ugh it's all juvenile problems but they just weigh so heavily on me :/#okay enough oversharing online for the night im going to sleep now. then tomorrow i'll just#have the same thoughts and it'll only get worse
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iwantyoursexmp3 · 1 year
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this post really is the blueprint for RR felix vs lover boy felix 
#literally RR felix is like an annoying piece of shit at first because he thinks hes got his life under control#and then he realises he doesnt and hes like omg everything is falling apart nothing matters let me get hedonistic and silly with it#then hes like wait no i want my life to be okay i want to be a good person :(#ASTRONIMIC crisis over that because he thinks hes gone past a line#(so much of RR thematically is feeling like you're a 'lost cause' bc of childhood trauma hehe)#and then lover boy felix is like oh i made positive progress with myself#but its just made me feel fragile because i feel like i have more to lose#mfs with trauma will finally reach a sense of peace in their life and its the opposite of peace because it makes them so scared#but its still funny because RR felix is like doing cocaine in the bathtub on a wednesday afternoon#lover boy felix works at a kindergarten and is probably well hydrated#i dont think he realises how much progress he's made and when he does that's when he gets scared#especially because now hes more intentionally unpacking his trauma which is a lot#but like instead of fucking people and fighting people and breaking into houses to cope he like gets a caramel frappe and has a cry#LMAO#because he's like one wrong move and ill go back to how i was and ruin everything (which he does almost do exactly that BUT)#he will return to being messy at some point though....gotta have him falter which will scare him so much#also has a mild gender crisis between all of this too#that's my infodump on tumblr of the day so many thoughts in my head that i cant do anything with#thats really cool dallon have you been evaluated for autism#lover boy is like the normal spongebob of my wips because its tragic and emotional#but the characters dont feel like theyre basically or literally fighting for their lives every day LOL#it's refreshing i cant lie
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dredshirtroberts · 1 year
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well as it turns out, werewolf transformation is as painful as it looks.
in related news, guess who has memory problems and remembered their hormonal cycle directly impacts their chronic pain issues. (hint: it's meeee)
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the-kipsabian · 1 year
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i have so much i need to get done today godddddddd
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poptartmochi · 1 year
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ohhgh. comrades. 👁️👁️. 🕴️. remember when I was debating over whether i was going to change benedetto's name to isaac and I was like, "🤪 lol maybe I'll change gioier's name too 🤪"
im on the precipice of doing it!!!!! help!!;! 🆘🆘
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aeide-thea · 2 years
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i've vaguely been eyeing merino tees/baselayers for fall/winter cycling purposes and as with all intended-to-be-fitted clothing the question has arisen: what will bug me more, weird bagginess or a too-feminine cut
(spoiler: the answer is almost definitely 'a too-feminine cut' but like. would love a scenario where there was an actual win condition instead of just the lesser of two evils!)
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stuckinakillingjar · 2 years
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bruh there was some form of little cockroach or something in my fucking room just now and my brother and i took so long to fucking kill it 😭
#i'm sorry but if there's any type of bug in my house there's like 1% survival especially if it's anything other than a spider#bruh i was literally just on my phone upside down on my bed and suddenly i hear something that sounds like a fly bumping into something#and i look up and it's this giant fucking thing 😭#i immediately ran to my brother (remember that he's fucking 13 god i'm such a pussy) nd drag him into my room#omg side not while i'm writing this it literally feels as if something's crawling all over my skin i'm losing my damn mind#anyways we both hold deodorant on the little fucker and IT CRAWLS UNDER MY FLOOR 💀#BRO I WAS SO SCARED HOW MANY FUCKING OTHER THINGS ARE UNDER THERE#my brother and i wait for it to come out and as soon as it crawls out he holds deo on it again and it crawls along my floor until it's#stuck in that corner of wall and door#and then we took everything to squash that fucker we literally took a mop one of my knitting needles a fucking shoehorn 😭#like we tried ok and then that little shit crawled across the floor towards us and we smacked it with the mop#and then we got a bit closer to inspect it AND IT WAS STILL MOVING#i whacked it again and then it was finally dead#we picked it up with like 5 layers of toilet paper and flushed it down the toilet#mind you this all happened between 1 and 2 am and my mom woke up like halfway through and decided to just not give a fuck#cw animal death#???#ask to tag#cw insects#nica.talks#EDIT; I KNOW THERE ARE SPELLING AND GRAMMAR MISTAKES IGNORE THEM I WROTE THIS IN PANIC
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lunar-val · 2 years
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Why in the hell did I think it would be a good idea to view a post with tagged spoilers? I am so upset right now and it's my own damn fault
#this is about the new OM lesson#i am so upset they're doing my boy so dirty#like I know this will have an epic pay off but what the actual fuck#just gonna act like that didn't happen#someone is going to catch these hands and he knows who he is#I hope we can fight him and give him a piece of my mind#will it hurt my son? yes. Will I still do it? absolutely#if they don't let us fix this or fight for him I'm going to lose. my. shit.#LET ME FIX MY HUSBAND I BEG OF YOU#I'm assuming we can fix this because literally everything else relies on this issue being fixed#this fucks with so much and I'm fuming#but it also explains a lot#i dunno I'm gonna be mad for the next century or so#also you know I'm mad because I'm actually making a post lol#I know we'll have to wait until like lesson 80 or later but I HOPE lesson 80 and onwards is planning how to beat a certain asshole up#the worst part is I can't even look up spoilers for lesson 80 because lesson 80 isn't out yet! i need answers and refuse to wait!#if they have a like year break between chapter releases again I swear to the gods#the amount of fix it fics I will have to read to save my sanity will be insane#okay maybe it wasn't a year but I remember it was a while#all this after I listened to his audio dramas and was in a good mood#awful timing#however I guess he can get his wish now because it won't be forbidden#I guess it might be a good thing for him but still. I know why it happened and like he literally did it to save the world#he was punished for being a hero! Sure he did it in a shady way but he's a hero#I'm reminded that everyone in this gane is awful at communicating so they might just need to talk it out but I want to fight it out#give me justice or give me death
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raisethe-velvet · 1 month
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experiencing symptoms, freaking out thinking im dying of a new thing, remembering i have covid,
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