#man i fucking hate being a nobody

[chessb0r3d]

i cracked the code.

#believing dirk is the worst guy because its what dirk thinks of himself #ignoring daves bisexuality and think hes a gay man in denial even when he explained hes bisexual #believing john 'im not a homosexual' egbert is explicitly straight while he makes out with his mcconahey and cameron posters more #than he kissed women(literally only once) #believing that rose is an edgy psyhcotic little bitch when she was neglected. she speaks elegantly to cover that shes silly and a total ner #and how did people forget that rose also writes gay wizard fanfiction. reads Wikipedia. and her beautiful artstyle as a result of neglect #(and by neglect meaning having SO MUCH TIME to draw) #jake wasnt into dirk. he also told di that he didnt like how brobot getting touchy with him during strifes #but as part of the repression 4(prospit kids). he refused on changing the bot settings #what jane said about roxy being better when she was drunk. it was fucking sarcasm. its the least insane shit you could say to a best friend #all the kids have issues and of course people get mad over a girl being sarcastic. #when KARKAT said THE SAME THING to rose when she was drunk on the meteor nobody bats an eye #trolls are just grey humans that are bugs. he doesnt get an excuse for being an alien. humans were made from KARKATS BLOOD #jade isnt all silly girl and is so FULL OF HATE towards the trolls. she called karkat a fuckass (VERY FUNNY) to do her a favor #“jade would rather have punched karkat in the fact then had a pleasent conversation with him.” #“she viewed the trolls as rude mean and cruel. and even thought that nepeta was just making fun of her. #despite it being that nepeta just wanted to roleplay and have fun." #dred.loki #I HAVE YET TO ADD MORE. THESE ARE JUST NOTES #homestuck #chss

[obihoe]

naruto in that waterfall scene truly was like. the villagers have shunned me all my life and now they love me but its all fake cuz they just love me for what i have done to protect the village i HATE those fuckers, they can shove their autograph requests up their dumb asses and then he is like. well i got the solution. to solve all this hatred. to dissolve it and cure it. i'll just keep trying to become who they want me to be, if i manage to be the person THEY want me to be, they will love me and i'll keep their approval. this is the solution to all my problems ^_^ and then he like, hugs his dark self and it dissolves and the whole thing is done its like sfdfdgdgfs. okay, way to repress ur own feelings and do the exact same thing that youve already Been doing all ur life so far LOL. literally victim-blaming ur own self for what others have put u thru but alright. 👍

#naruto #posts #takes that are news to literally nobody here but yeah .. #its like 'i just have to be strong and be positive ^_^ just like that killer bee guy' #which like yeah cool that killer bee kept his cool all this time and just remained chipper but still. #its not his and neither naruto's fault that he was hated and ostracized all this time. lol #it shouldnt be Their responsibility to just be cool with it. and/or make it better #ANYWAY. this is all obvious but yeah #i also do have to say i kind of like the way killer bee's story of how he grew up was presented. nevertheless #cuz he's just like yo yo yo check out these cool rhymes 😎😎 while everyone throws like tomatoes at him or smth. asfsfdgds #like he just cannot be bothered #even when motoi his friend opens up to him abt hsving tried to murder him (which is like huh?? okay. youre scared #of the eight tails so youre just gonna ATTACK his jinchuuriki? w a silly little kunai as well like okay???) #anyway but his friend tells him he secretly hated him and wanted him gone and he's like whatever man 😎 give me ur fist #we are best bros forever like sfsdsfsfs #its kinda cool i think. like u COULD maybe frame this as 'ppl are going to treat u however they choose but if u just stick to urself #and know who u are. u have worth independent of them. believe in ur own strength cuz youre FUCKING cool and youre YOU #nobody can take that away from u. even if they throw eggs at u' or smth then that would be great!! #but no its framed more as 'well u just have to keep being nice and take it and believe that u can become better #so that they will love u' ... which is :[ like naruto bbygirl fuck those villagers .. u are worthy no matter what they say #ANYWAY. lol #killer bee

[vixenicks]

"aromantic matt murdock" i say into the microphone as the feedback proceeds to echo throughout the empty auditorium and shatter my ear drums

#NOBODY ELSE SHARES THE VISION #except alfie hey alfie #maybe its just me being aro but hes so fucking aromantic dude #“i cant keep any relationships with anyone it must be because of my trauma and attachment issues” no youre aro buddy #i mean thats also the reason you cant form lasting relationships but its not just romantically man i hate to break it to u #uhhh scratches ass elektra is a lesbian and also aro ok bye #daredevil #daredevil comics #ace spectrum karen page too #im gonna say something controversial i think maybe the only reason alot of people ive spoken to about aro matt dont like aro matt is becaus #they want him to date them and or their fave #mattfoggy can still be a thang my sweet summer child..... do u know what a qpr is.... #they can still bone and make out and be in love if hes aro........

[vitamin-zeeth]

experiencing fhjy while currently being in the equivalent of junior year is so. Yeah that's what it's like that's how school treats you that's how I'm feeling RIGHT NOW. I love how perfectly accurate it is and I also hate it so much because they don't deserve to go through this shit

#like fuck man #im currently fucking struggling through school clawing my way to exams so i can stop dealing with all this bullshit and have a life #and i cannot WAIT until its over cause next years gonna be the chillest #but fuckin hell man some of these moments #adaine struggling cause the school just won't provide the resources she needs. fabian dealing with a 150% workload + ecs. #kristen being genuinely gifted but finding the paperwork so awful that her grades are plummeting. #gorgug being told he cant do what he wants to do because they want to keep him focusing on the path he chose when he was 14. #riz trying to keep his friends together because if they separate he doesnt know what hed do #ough #kristen especially is resonating with me HARD her entire energy is so fucking relatable rn #its giving burnout its giving tired undiagnosed teenager its giving doesnt know wtf theyre doing #shes strongly considering dropping out but then looking back and going FUUUCK I KNOW I GOTTA JUST PUSH THROUGH #shes hating the work its making enjoying the subject harder shes needing a break and nobodys willing to give her one #shes so me this year actually. realest ever I'll defend her til i DIE #d20 #fhjy

[princessefemmelesbian]

Me when I don’t know how bisexuality works but also don’t care because being lesbophobic and biphobic is just too much fun! 😍

#hint since i have to tell you: it’s not always a 50/50 split #one instance of attraction to men despite previously identifying as a lesbian makes you bi sweetie #also how do you get to the stage of fucking someone without knowing that they’re a man andjenrnrn you guys are creeps with these tall tales #take that shit to r/thathappened nobody fucking cares here #lesbian #lesbophobia #bisexual #biphobia #tw corrective rape #why are you so scared of the word bisexual #and why are you so fucking obsessed with lesbians having sex with men and finding an exception for men in their sexuality because they’d #‘bored and horny’ and why do you insist on guilt-tripping lesbians and acting like we’re being rigid for not having sex with men #you guys are creepy #all of you #and i hate you all #op #blocklist

[monards]

i know hoyo is setting up rhine to have good intent and whatever in her trying to 'save' khaneri'ah or whatever; but i REALLY hope they stay with the cruel persona thats been built up for her. because it would be so wonderful to see a character who had good intent in the beginning just get absolutely corrupted; with the inability to ever go back to that prior state purely because of what had happened. also because there is NO way in her turning back after all that shit

#sorry. i dont think theres any good and plausible explanation for rhine to still be a kind or gentle person in general #she can (and SHOULD) have her moments. but it'd make so much more sense (and be much more impactful) for her to be inherently cruel #because look at all the stuff thats happened #i love the indomitable human spirit trope. dont get me wrong. #but rhine has that in the way she WONT stop her research till shes either dead or murdered. she is not gonna be gentle kind and optimistic #she watched all her kids (that she was SHOWN to care for) get very brutally murdered. #had to then go and kill her next creations that she didn't consider perfect (which most certainly fucks a women up. no matter what you say) #made the 'perfect creation' and the way she treated him was obviously a HUGE contrast to how she was before (being gentle and nuturing) #and left him (albeit with what we can guess was good intent) with NO goodbye just #a recommendation letter. a text. and his final mission #she could have good intent #and still care for others #dont get me wrong!!!!!!! #but shes. human??? #humans can be (as much as i hate to say it) a tad selfish when it comes to survival #and being antagonized demonized AND shunned by teyvat and even her own people. having to survive multiple gods wrath #isn't. gonna be good for the human psych #and it isn't gonna be something fixable #look at how furina progressively faltered over a hundered years WHILE being adored #she already started waning in her ethics and morals (as someone immortalized as a human WOULD) #with exposing lyney and all of that when it was VERY clearly the morally wrong thing to do (which her as a human would know) #and being relatively pessimistic and clearly spiralling #(no hate. i love furina with all my heart.) #if thats how FURINA started going #imagine rhine who has nobody (save maybe alice. but i doubt she'd be constant given her spontaneous nature and refusal to sit still) #shit man. even I'D go crazy and be horrible. #its okay and natural to be bitter #and its not as if anybody was there to help #hexenzirkel has a ton of women who survived their own nations falling yes #but not ONE of them (from what we know) has had circumstances any where near rhine's

[arachnid-party]

wake up. check news. armenia is having its land taken away and people evacuated for the 500th time. nobody else seems to gives a shit that our culture is destroyed again and again. protestors are pushed out of the way with a fucking car. think im going to start eating mud from the ground

#armenia #azerbaijan #i fucking hate this man #there’s nothing quite like watching the persecution of your people start up again #and knowing you’ll never be able to see those beautiful sites and see those beautiful people #and i’ll never get to look at the buildings my ancestors did and run my hands on the walls in the same spots #there is something beautiful being lost here and i see nobody talking about it #fucking. crickets.

[russellius]

Why do you have to be so anti everyone? you have a really good blog but it's just not fun anymore

... what 🧍🏻‍♀️

#tf do you mean im anti everyone im literally doing nothing on here except posting about one guy? #like 😭 #what do you want from me #im depressed and i have a hyperfixation. the primary focus of this blog is to have an outlet for that. #if this is about me not posting certain drivers again - can we just move on. #nobody is forcing you to follow a blog you dont enjoy #if you dont get the content you want from here you are always free to seek it elsewhere #or you can post it yourself. #i have my interests and i will stick to them #and thats not me being 'anti everyone' lol like. i dont even fucking slander anyone 💀 #im just here posting 24/7 about one dude ffs. #let me be please :) #answered #(like. when did i ever post driver hate. how am i 'anti everyone'. half of the grid i havent even mentioned on here) #(man. yall make this site so much fun huh.) #((just. why am i expected to post content i dont like. or what is this about. i have been consinstently blogging the same way #for months and months.)) #(wait. did the toto slander upset you? bro come on now)

[justanotherfanartist]

.

#back on my super personal posting bs #last basketball game for the band tonight #augh and misery but at least it’s at Cool Big Semi Circle. Two hour drive at least tho. sigh. #if u from my state you know what I mean. actually wtv it’s obvious idfk Tacoma Dome moment lmaooo #man. last thing of band for the whole year kinda sucks ngl #our band is fucked don’t get me wrong but a part of me still loves it with a lot less cynicism than most of my friends n other band kids do #part of me is like yeah there’s stuff that sucks. but also this is where I’m meant to be and I’m having a good time #the reality is that our director sucks our band sucks nobody practices and we don’t really play well #but in my head #I’m doing well #i practice. a lot. because I like it #All my friends are here #I’m doing what my dad did in Highschool and being like him makes me really happy #which is especially why I’m switching to drumline next year to hopefully be on snare #I’m actually gonna kill myself if I get cymbals i fucking HATE cymbals I will fight my Director on this actually so hard #cus I don’t know shit about percussion #but my dad is a drummer and so is one of my senior friends who is sticking around after they graduate this year #and they’ve both agreed to teach me over the summer #so I’m gonna go fucking crazy hard into practicing so I can do percussion ensemble next year and do drumline too #I’m literally gonna dig in my trenches and fight tooth and nail to get what I want #and I’ve never really done that before #It really feels like I’m determined to prove myself worth of being a snare #not cymbals #not bass #snare #I feel like I was kind of always meant for this; I’ve just been putting it off yknow? #I’m the child of two divorced music majors #my dad is a drummer who was in band his whole life #he loves it. he loves it so much. #my parents moved to New York to chase their dreams and become musicians

[calamitys-child]

My work has a budget for random acts of kindness where we can comp people a small item like a nicer bag or a snack and not gonna lie it is not random at all I use it exclusively and extravagantly for people who are visibly Going Through It, queer or disabled kids with annoying parents, and hitting on bears and goths

#like yesterday a wean was being given a hard time by his guardians #n he very clearly in the voice of someone who has intentionally learned their rights said 'i said no and that means no - #- nobody gets to make me do anything to myself that i dont want or go somewhere that i dont want to be' #and then stood in the corner until his guardians were done #and they were like teasing him n i was like na fuck that we reward and celebrate informed consent here #so i was like hey man youre right you can wait in the corner if you want as long as you're in the same room as your adults #and they cannae make you do anything you hate. have a comic to read its a present

[mako-island-moon-pool]

I really do deserve a fucking apology for all the times my friends and family valued strangers on the internet and their opinions more than me

How am I supposed to be just fine with being ignored for years and years or bullied for openly liking what I like, only for those same fucking people to then turn around YEARS LATER, AFTER THE DAMAGE WAS ALREADY DONE, and be like "actually this is cool, so glad I found it" while still ignoring me. Why am I not allowed to be fucking pissed about it? Why is it considered ""gatekeepy"" when I get upset someone who deliberately ignored me for years and insulted the shit I enjoy when I asked them to get into it cuz I thought they'd like it suddenly finds interest in it because it got popular online, not because I'd been begging them to give it a chance and to listen to me for years???? Why is that not allowed????? THAT'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE MOVE, WHY IS IT 'NOT OKAY' TO BE MAD? WHY DON'T THEY GROW A SPINE AND APOLOGIZE FOR DISMISSING ME FIRST? HOW ABOUT THAT?????

#I fucking hate this it keeps fucking happening #I have a fucking LIST of all the times it's happened this is not a one time thing it's fucking reoccurring #Nothing I say will ever fucking matter to anyone not even the people who are 'supposed' to care about me #Grumble grumble #Literally showed my dad a song and he was like 'well I preferred the one that came on autoplay after' #And I was like 'oh that song? Oh you mean THAT song? OH YOU MEAN THE SONG I SHOWED YOU MONTHS AGO THAT YOU DISMISSED AND CRITICIZED?' #THAT ONE? YEAH? YEAH??? #Gee I wonder why you like it NOW and not when *I* showed it to you! #UGHHHHH #Begged my friend to get into OP and he would go 'no it's too long and the art style is kinda ugly' #GUESS WHO'S NOW ASKING ME TO GUIDE HIM THRU THE ANIME CUZ OP WAS TRENDING ON TWITTER OVER THE SUMMER #UGHHHHHHHHH #Begged friends to watch Trig/un for years it was always the first anime I'd recommend anyone when they asked and was always ignored #Guess what everyone did once stampede started *trending on Tumblr*? #They certainly didn't care when I asked or when I was hyping up the trailer for stampede or literally any point before then #Nobody would ever reply to me when I talked about it #But now that it's trending on Tumblr NOW they're interested. GJSGDHDJDJDK #Happened with Pe/rso/na and Ro/tm/nt too. #Begged my middle and high school friends to get into the per/sona series. Nooo never it's sooo lame #Get made fun of for being hyped for 5's release in Calc class #Man you'd never believe who I see on Twitter as the biggest fans nowadays!! #Same with ro/tm/nt begged my friends to watch it but was dismissed and the episode I showed them heavily criticized bc it wasn't 2012 #Then learn the same friend who criticized it so heavily bc he *hated it* WAS WATCHING VIDEO ESSAYS EXPLAINING WHY THE FINALE WAS SO GOOD #And there's NEVER any acknowledgement like 'hey sorry I made fun of/hated on this thing I see why you like it now' #Am I actually mental?! Would that not be the polite thing to do??? #I would do that if a friend begged me to watch something and I openly dismissed them or criticized it as my reason why #And then later on I saw something online and was like 'actually...' #I would GO TO THAT FRIEND AND BE LIKE 'hey sorry I dismissed you earlier man I get why you like it now' AND THEN WE COULD TALK ABOUT IT #This isn't even about like distant acquaintences some of these people are my best friends and my roommates and my own fucking parents #People I talk to daily or near-daily. You're just not going to acknowledge what happened before??? Just expecting me to be fine with it????

[aspeckrobus]

seeing discussions of “they/them for trans men isn’t misgendering uwu” and how it’s a load of transphobic bullshit is great but also. bringing up some unpleasant ex friend memories and i am Having A Time

#i haven’t thought about this motherfucker in a while but I am so seethingly fucking angry about her again #she never misgendered nonbinary or trans fem people she knew of but EXCLUSIVELY used they/them for me #despite having known me for years and almost all that time i had been openly a trans man and vented at length in spaces she was in about #how much it hurt when people who knew better refused to acknowledge me as a man #it drives me fucking insane how people who respect every other kind of trans person think it’s somehow okay to misgender trans men bc #they’re uncomfortable with the concept of us being men #but yknow. transandrophobia is an unnecessary term uwu #there’s no specific transphobia for just trans men nobody hates trans men and only trans men #screams into my hands

[kinnoth]

I like everybody else terminally online watched the plagiarism video this weekend

And maybe I'm just coming at this from a perspective of someone who was not exposed to j som before he got exposed but like Jesus fuck what the shit

Plagiarism notwithstanding, that man makes some bogus ass, shit ass claims that on a very basic level just do not pass a sniff test by anyone who knows even a little bit about anything

I mean, the man waxes on longingly about the beautiful aryan nazi bodies to serve the conclusion that US troops volunteered for service to.....prove that it wasn't just the nazis who had perfectly sculpted hairless asses? Is that like......even something anyone thinks smells a little bit true? Like on a basic motivational level, for a nation, for a people, for a single person?

Making claims that the Roman empire was 70% slaves and 30% patricians.........does that even sound correct? Like, even if all you know about ancient Rome is from memes and shit, where are the plebs? You know, the thing we still call people today, when they're acting common and unwashed

The thing about how no songs prior to 1956 made references to kissing....I mean guys.....

And like ......not to like.... But like ..... The man has the charisma of a slow growing fungus. Granted I've only ever seen clips bc by the time I got there, he'd nuked his channel, but like.... I've heard AI voices reading tiktok subtitles inject more urgency and personality into text. J som reads text like he not only doesn't know what he's saying, he doesn't know any of the individual words and how they interact with one another. Like who voluntarily listens to this boring dumbass badly read from a script that has no coherent style tying it together?

Like I know people are gagging for gay rep but fuckin seriously, not only is he a plagiarizing douche who makes shit up wholecloth, he's not even a decent entertainer

Is this what y'all are settling for? Is the bar really that fuckin low?

#taking bets on how long it'll take before j som reemerges from his ''break'' as an alt-right token shill #i say under a year #also damn dude we get it #you're from a small town in NS where it's socially conservative and the gay scene is sad #and even if it weren't sad you dont have the looks charisma or personality to pull the beefcake gays you wanna be fucking #and somewhere not very deep down you hate yourself #you hate that you're dull and complacent and stuck where you are #you think that you are being oppressed as a gay man but you also think you are being oppressed as a cis white man #and you hate how ''easy'' women have it #why do they get to be ''detached'' from ''reality'' like that? why are they ''allowed'' all of their ''fanciful fancies'' #''imagining themselves lusting after serial killers'' #''imagining themselves writing fanfic about fictional gays'' #they're not ''real people'' like j som imagines he is a ''real person'' #theyre not ''serious people'' who have to suffer things like nobody wanting to date them bc they're soulless and untalented #only it's not bc they're women jim #turns out some people --regardless of their gender!-- just have something called ''imagination'' #and wouldn't you know imagination leads to curiosity and learning and sometimes even the ability to formulate one's own opinions #that one may then put into one's own words #and then you know not have to steal 300k words from other people #just to get a little bit of a taste of that thing called having friends and people who admire and care about you

[kelpiemomma]

"Khan? Who's that?"

Khan put his arm out, blocking Mina from stepping out behind him but also blocking the person approaching from going around him. He felt her hands grip his shoulder instead, hauling herself up to peek over. Though his face normally rested in 'bitch' mode he felt it shifting to more. His lips pulled back instinctively into a small snarl, a threat towards the one approaching.

He didn't like this person purely because of what he represented.

For the first time since he was a child Khan had found a friend. He'd found some sort of family. He'd carved out a place for himself, a home, in Hisui. He had gotten comfortable. And though he'd always known it was likely that it would end one day, that Ingo or Mina might recover their memories, that Akari might figure out how to move them all through time again, he'd been pretending that it wouldn't happen. That things would go on as they were. He could wander the land, maybe with someone by his side, maybe not. He could return somewhere to someone who would be happy to see him, who would greet him with a hug and ask about his wellbeing. How long had it been since anyone had been happy to see him?

The semi-peaceful existence he'd carved out for himself was under attack. It was unfortunate he hadn't realized this man had come through a rift or he'd have killed him before he could make himself known. Khan wasn't above that, wasn't above protecting himself and what he had found by all means necessary. Maybe it was selfish but he felt he deserved to be a little selfish.

"Do you know him?" Mina asked.

Unfortunately, yes.

He watched Emmet stroll towards them a few more steps, his face more lined and slightly more gray than Khan remembered seeing it on the television. The outfit was a far cry from that which he'd known before. He could recall hearing that Emmet had left the subway for one reason or another but hadn't realized the outfit had gone as well. The former subway boss had been looking behind Khan, looking at Mina, at his wife, but his gaze turned to Khan when his arm moved. His eyes turned sharp and steely, the smile going from something genuine to more like a baring of his own teeth. There was a challenge in his eyes.

Khan had never backed down from a challenge.

"No." Khan rumbled. It wasn't entirely a lie- he'd never met either subway boss in person before, only watched some of their commercials and shows.

"Well then, let me introduce myself. My name is Emmet. I've traveled a long way searching for some of my family. I believe they can be found here" The friendly snarl only got bigger. "Would you be able to help me?"

#khan a. #mina #emmet #champion emmet #em&m #khan gets v protective of his family which also results in possessiveness #not in a 'nobody but me can have them' way but 'i can keep them safest' #(trust issues much?) #so after he's found his comfort and family in hisui he KNOWS that this bastard is coming in to wreck shop #he KNOWS emmet is going to throw the peace he's found into upheaval #things may not be perfect and khan may be walking a tightrope of 'when will their memories return' #but he's selfish enough (after all. hasn't he deserved the right to be selfish?) that he wants it to take as long as possible #he's desperately holding onto the happiness he's found and is terrified of losing it #to the point where he would absolutely kill ingo's twin slash mina's husband if it meant a couple more days of them still caring about him #them still being able to focus on him and show him affection #they would likely hate him if he did kill emmet and he would accept that... #as long as he got to get one last hug before they realized what he'd done #sorry my man is deeply flawed and fucked up :C #khan needs so much therapy #will he ever get it??? probably not. that's what fighting pokemon is for :)

[softly-mossy]

life really fucking sucks right now

#teddy situation has undone probably a year of recovering haha i fuckig hate landlords #basically told us we need to get rid of ted because 'he is a liability' #THE DAY BEFOREBTHANKSGIVING #and i was expected to be chipper and happy at family dinner. #naw man. i havent really left the house because i wana spend time with ted hahahaha #he's going to live at my sister's place but still. i dont want him to have to go #selfharmed as in nearly scraped the skin off the entire back of my left hand #WAS HIT WITH 'I HONESTLY FIGURED/EXPECTED YOU TO (SELF HARM' LIKE DAMN HAHA #idk. i want to be hit by a fucking car. or anything else that will blast me away. #had another prospective friend end up being just a dumbfuck that wanted an easy lay #dad's been home all week #its just a lot man. and losing all that progress i worked hard for its another kick to the teeth #and its like. why should i go see my therapist again. im gonna tell her whats wrong. im gonna cry. she oretends to care. i come home #i just dont want to be here anymore. i dont. i keep hoping for things to get better because thats what im told to do and things get worse #i cannot live the rest of my life like this. im allowed to be selfish and say it isnt fair to me. and nobody should be stucj dealing with me #im not gonna have a happy ending like all my friends did. im gonna be lonely and suicidal until i finally get thr balls to just fucking doit #local idiot sad

[abandonmutt]

Just thinking

#I’m good at balancing enough to feel like. pleasant normally. but fuck I hate being reminded of just how deep my disordered thinking goes #I rly don’t know how I’m gonna like. heal in the long term #like obviously I’m gonna try but like #I am so desperately adverse to receiving more than very minimal help from anyone #and half the time I don’t even know what would help #the fucking knots I tie myself into are so convoluted and impossible that I kinda feel it’s better for me to just handle it #I don’t know how to be helped. I barely know how to be cared about. I fear that nobody will be able to handle whatever it’s gonna take #to break through all of that shit #like fuck man I don’t even remember how to cry about shit #I probably still need to cry over my moms stroke but it feels stupid now bc she’s fine #i don’t know what to do about that #I never thought I was a self hating kinda guy I thought I was pretty self neutral #but literally the bare minimum opening for shame or for feeling like I’m failing can snag me #even if it’s completely irrational #ugh.