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bucky-in-paradise · 2 years

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Head Banging Hottie

So I have had this fic idea bouncing around in my head since volume one came out and I finally decided to say fuck it and write it out so welcome to the Gareth’s next door neighbor fic no one asked for! I too have fallen down the Eddie Munson rabbit hole so I am happy to contribute to the fandom lol.

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Word Count: 6.6k

Summary: You didn’t expect to make many friends moving to Hawkins midway into the semester of your senior year, but who could’ve guessed you’d make a whole pack of them, as well as something more?

Warnings: none, making out?

Moving to a new town multiple states away from the home you’ve always known would be hard on anyone, but the fact that you were now supposed to integrate yourself two months into the first school semester in such a tight knit community had you more anxious than ever.

Supposedly, the move would build character and strengthen your social skills according to your mother who is the mastermind behind the idea to move to a smaller town anyways, which also had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she could no longer afford the mortgage on your home. Hawkins did sound like the kind of town that would be more affordable for a single mother and her only daughter, but you refused to see it in any sort of positive light.

You knew this was in your mom's best interest to move out of the town consumed with so many memories of the life her and your dad lived through together, but realistically you also were leaving behind a life you knew you’d never get back.

What annoyed you even more was the fact that on move in day, loud instrumental noises consumed the entirety of the cul-de-sac you now called home from an open garage door, forcing you to hear the sounds of rage and teen angst.

A sigh left your mouth as your mom pulled the car up into the driveway of your new home, conveniently right next door to said open garage. She hopped out immediately, starting to unload the car while the movers unpacked the truck that followed behind you.

Looking over your shoulder, you attempt to peer into the garage where the noise was coming from, but are unable to see too deep inside. Accepting your fate, you step out of the car and carry the small box that had ridden on your lap with you on your journey over to the house next door to get a closer look at the band inside. You stop in front of the garage door and flood with embarrassment as the drummer stops immediately at your presence, the others following behind soon after except for one head banding, long haired guitar player who seems oblivious to his bandmates and continues to bob his head along to his own melody.

After a few more seconds of a delayed reaction, he too looks around at his friends in search of the newfound silence before turning his back to them and facing you. “Well, what do we have here?”

You blush immediately, turning back towards your house to see everyone gone, clearly inside moving things inside and leaving you entirely alone with these strangers. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt or anything. Just moving in next door,” with a nod of your head towards your new house, the guys all nod or ahh in understanding. “Heard the ruckus over here from down the street, so I wanted to see what exactly I’ll be subjected to for the next couple years,” you say with a small smile, hoping you are coming off friendly enough.

The drummer in the back of the garage rises from his stool and walks over, reaching out his hand to shake before looking down and noticing a box in your arms, dropping his own right one. “No worries, we were just practicing for our gig in a couple weeks. I’m Gareth, the only member of the band that actually lives here,” he laughs out as he backs up to stand next to the long haired, head banger.

The other two on the opposite side of the garage introduce themselves as well, but you’re still staring at said head banger waiting on his introduction. “And I’m Eddie, pleased to meet you,” he shoots a wink at you as he says it. Nodding your head at their introductions, you spit out your own name before looking back over at your house and spotting your mom heading out the front door. “I should probably get back over and, you know, help. It uh, it was nice to meet you all and keep up the good work, it was just starting to grow on me,” you shoot back at him.

With that, you turn around and begin to walk away with a small smile on your face. You release a breath of air, willing yourself not to turn around in the fear that they’d catch you looking. Once you get to the open trunk of the car, you attempt a sly glance over through the part in your hair, but whip your head back into the boxes filling up the boot of the car when you notice the boy named Eddie standing with his hands on his hips in front of the open garage, not even hiding his stare. After you pick up a second box on top of your previous one you’ve stupidly been holding this entire time, you turn back to Gareth’s open garage and watch as Eddie goes back in to set down his guitar before gathering the guys up and leading them over to your driveway. “Could you use a few extra pairs of hands? We may lack strength, but we exude endurance,” he winks at you again.

Blushing you nod your head and thank them, handing over your two boxes to Eddie before leading the other three into the back of the moving van. You turn your head over your shoulder to watch him enter your front door and get to work. Quickly, you and the four boys, alongside the movers and your mother unloaded the massive truck and by lunchtime, everything was inside waiting to be organized. You all gathered in the living room as your mom tipped the movers, sending them on their way. “Would you guys like to stay for lunch? We were talking about ordering some pizza on the way in and you guys definitely deserve a reward for all your hard work,” you laugh out as your mom returns from the driveway. “They can stay for pizza, right mom?”

“Of course! Thank you so much for lending a helping hand. I’ll go call up the pizza place we passed on our way in and order a few pizza’s. Three is enough for you boys right?”

Yes ma'am’s flew out of their mouths as you all watched her scurry into the kitchen to place the order. “So, are you going to be going to Hawkins High or that preppy private school the next town over?” Eddie asks you as he and the others all sit down on the plush carpeting along the floor.

“Hawkins High on Monday morning. Not too excited about that one seeing as the semester has already started, but there is nothing I can do about that,” you shrug as you take a seat next to Eddie on the floor against your couch. “You know you guys can sit on the furniture right? It’s not brand new or anything.”

“Trust me, you don’t want our sweaty asses dirtying up your nice furniture,” Jeff laughs out, encouraging laughter from the other teens in the room. You join them before smiling towards your mom as she walks back into the room.

“I’m going to head up the stairs and unpack the towels and toiletries so I can have a quick shower. You’ll keep an eye out for the pizzas right, hun?”

“‘Course mom, we’re not going anywhere,” you smile at her as she turns and heads up the stairs to shower. You stand and stretch, your shirt rising with you just a smidge and you swear you can see Eddie checking you out as you do, the familiar blush rising back up your neck and to your cheeks. “You boys up for setting up the tv? We can put something on while we eat,” you say as you walk over the the box labeled VCR and Tapes.

“Sure, hun,” Eddie smiles as he lets loose the pet name your mom spoke to you. You hide your face in the now open box and remove its contents while the guys all share a knowing look and huddle around the heavy brick that is your dinosaur tv. You stifle a laugh as they struggle to lift it into the open entertainment center and as soon as it touches down on the wooden surface, you reach around and plug in the power cord to turn everything on.

“Awesome, thank you, seriously, for all your help,” you smile at them as you bring over the box of tapes. “So, since you guys did the bulk of the heavy lifting you should pick what we watch. The cable’s not setup yet, but we have tons of movies on VHS, so take your pick.” You hand over the box to Gareth and let them shuffle through the options before Eddie selected a very used and familiar tape. “Ahh a classic,” you smile before sliding it into the opening of your worn out VCR player. Right as the opening credits of Nightmare on Elm Street start rolling, the doorbell rings signaling the arrival of the pizzas. “I got it!” you yell out heading over to the front door after swiping your moms wallet off the island separating your living room and kitchen.

After paying the teen holding your delicious smelling pizzas, you turn towards the guys and lay the boxes out of the floor and hand out the paper plates the delivery kid gave you. The movie passes all too quickly and by the time your mom comes waltzing down the stairs, the guys are standing and making their way out of the house. “Oh boys, you’re leaving already? Thank you again for all your help,” She says as she settles herself down on the floor and takes one of the few leftover slices of pepperoni.

“Gotta head out Mrs. Y/L/N. Thank you again for the pizza,” Eddie smiles at her before turning it to you as the boys all wave and shuffle out the front door. “Thanks for the movie and the company. I guess we’ll see you Monday at school, huh?”

You smile back and nod, “absolutely, I’ll see you there. Think you could save the new girl a spot at lunch?” His smile drops slightly, but he is quick to turn it back on and nod before following his bandmates back out into the street. You watch confused by his sudden turn of emotions from the front door as the three boys pile into, what you assume to be, Eddie’s van while Gareth walks back into the garage, sending you a brief wave before he pulls the door down.

You shut your front door, heading to the VCR and pushing the rewind button as your mom takes out a new movie for you to put it. You both settle into the couch as it begins, but your mind stays fixated on your new classmates, continuing to wonder about one in particular as you go about your day.

________________________________________________________________

When your alarm goes off Monday morning, you groan shifting onto your side away from the sunlight peeking in through the slanted blinds. You force yourself out of bed and head into the bathroom to get ready before heading downstairs to find your mom making breakfast, the coffee pot already full and ready to help you start the day. You pour yourself a healthy mug before tucking some eggs and toast onto a plate for breakfast. It doesn’t take long before you’re out the door, grabbing your bike from the side of the house and taking off down the street towards Hawkins High.

When you arrive, you’re embarrassingly early, so you make your way towards the main office to grab your schedule and get your locker combo. It takes a good amount of time hunting your locker down and getting the code right after four failed attempts, but once you’ve got some of your materials put away, you head over to the school library to see about getting any textbooks you may need now that you’ve secured your timetable.

It’s mostly empty when you enter, a few students settled into tables focused on their own work, but you pay them no mind, heading straight for the librarian’s counter and requesting their help on where to find your books. By the time you leave, you’ve only got ten minutes to get to first period so you hustle towards the correct wing and locate your first class fairly easily. Upon entry, most students are already seated, leaving three empty seats towards the back. Before heading that way, you introduce yourself to your new English teacher and attempt to get caught up on what they have been going over the last few weeks.

She’s nice enough and gives you an extra syllabus from her desk before directing you to a seat in the back. One of the three is now occupied by none other than Jeff and you smile as you settle into the seat next to him. You chat briefly until your teacher begins lecturing and you’re quick to take out a pen and notebook, scribbling everything she says down so you don’t have an even harder time catching up.

Once class is over, you and Jeff walk out, comparing your schedules only to find that you have the one class together, but he reassures you by filling you in on the fact that you share three other classes with Eddie. You brush your hair behind your ears as a blush rises to your cheeks. Your next class you would finally see the head banging boy who consumed your every waking thought since you met him Saturday morning. Jeff nudged your arm and nodded his head towards your next class, the door propped open allowing you to see the boy in question sitting in the last row by the windows, head down doodling on his open notebook, seemingly lost in space.

“See you at lunch!” Jeff shouts at you from down the hall. When had he left your side? You nod at him and enter the class shyly, going through the same routine and making your way up to your history teacher and introduce yourself, back facing the rows of seats. What you can’t see is Eddie’s head whip up the second you start to speak and stare a hole through your back. He studies your form, a soft smile taking over his face until he realizes how creepy he’s being and looks back down to attempt to quell the slight blush on his cheeks.

When you turn back to face him and the still many empty seats filling the classroom, you don’t hesitate to select the one beside him and send him your warmest grin before unpacking your backpack’s contents onto your desk. “Hey Head banger, how are you this dreary Monday morning?”

He pulls his eyes away from your smile and attempts to focus on your bright eyes, but you had already caught him staring, forcing you to stifle an even bigger smile. God two full days in this town and you’ve already got a crush. “Mornin’ Y/N. Tired is how I am on this dreary Monday morning. What about you? Hawkins High all that you expected?” He props his arm up on his desk, his palm framing his right cheek as he gives you his full attention.

“Ha, yeah it’s a dream isn’t it? Stunning architecture, can’t wait to see what kind of high-quality food they serve during lunch period. Brought a backup though just in case,” you lift your sack lunch from your pack while you speak. “Anyways, I’m just glad I’m not a total loser on my first day and actually have someone to talk to right off the bat.” Your textbook and notebook now lie open on your desk waiting to be used as more students begin to filter in, some whispering to one another as they sit, eyes locked on you and Eddie.

“Don’t speak too soon, hun,” Eddie whispers before facing the front of the classroom and pulling his hair up into a low bun against the nape of his neck. You frown at him and start to ask what he meant by that, but before you can your teacher begins his morning speech then launches into lecture. You make a point not to forget it, though, as Eddie doesn’t even look your way once during the entire period, giving you ample time to side glance at him throughout the class.

When the bell rings signaling the end of class, you turn towards him ready to ask if he wants to walk with you to your next class as you have it together, but he’s already packed up and standing from his desk shooting you a brief wave before rushing out the door and down the hall. One of the boys in the row ahead of you yells after him, “FREAK!” and you shake your head as you start to piece together why he might be avoiding you compared to your first introduction on Saturday. You follow out behind two cheerleaders overhearing their conversation. “God Munson is so weird,” the brunette with the ponytail utters loudly into the open hallway. You can only assume by Munson she means Eddie.

“You’re telling me. That cult of his is full of freaks. New girl better watch out before she’s corrupted too,” they giggle as they make their way down the hall, looking over their shoulders at you before turning the corner. You stop in your tracks, nervous energy consuming you as you paint a mental picture in your head of the way these boys must be perceived by the other students at this school. You follow them slowly and make your way to your third period class, the last before your lunch break. You step inside third period trig and look for Eddie’s bunned brown hair, spotting him in the exact same corner seat he occupied in the previous classroom. You skip the introductions and head straight back towards him sitting down in the seat in front of him this time, turning your body in his direction and straightening your legs into the aisle in a stretch.

“You gonna walk me to the cafeteria after this class or run off ahead of me again?” You shoot him a smile as you say it, hoping he doesn’t take offense to your question. He eyes you warily before looking around at his classmates questioningly.

“You have to have realized by now that talking to me is going to destroy any chance you have at making any friends?” He finally looks back at you with a smile on his face.

“Why would I need any other friends now that I’ve met you and the other guys? Besides, you think I give a shit about those idiotic social constructs? Eddie, I’m the new girl, I’m already an eye sore so I think we can both agree I am probably better off hanging with you guys than some asshole jocks,” you tell him before turning in your seat to face the front of the room. He huffs out a laugh behind you and you look down to your bag and take out the necessary items for your math class. It feels like it drags on forever, especially since you don’t have any opportunity to glance secretly at the boy behind you without him catching you red handed.

As soon as the bell rings, Eddie is up on his feet and half of you expects him to take off again as you shove your materials into your backpack, but he’s quick to swoop it off the floor and bow in front of you, extending his other hand out to you. You take it with a smile and let him lead you into the hall, pointedly ignoring all the open stares the two of you are getting as you go. He drops your hand as you chatter about your previous home and what it was like as he leads you to the lunchroom. Once you arrive, he rushes ahead of you to pull open the cafeteria door and usher you in, following just a step behind you. You turn to look at him after you have a moment to survey the open space, tables filled with prattling students. “C’mon, I’ll show you where the freaks sit,” he smiles, a full, genuine smile, as he says it. You trail behind him with a dopey smile as he leads you to a table full of teenage boys.

“Guys, this is Y/N. She’ll be eating lunch with us from now on,” Eddie says it with a touch of finality, as if no one should dare object to his statement and no shocker at all, no one did. His fellow bandmates eagerly share their greetings with you and turn to introduce the other boys sitting at the table. You’re quick to sit in the open chair next to Eddie’s left with Gareth on your other side and begin talking to Dustin, Mike and Lucas about how nervous they were on their first day too. Everyone is so warm and welcoming to you, you take a moment to recognize just how lucky you were to move in next door to Gareth Saturday morning.

Dustin shakes you out of your thoughts by asking, “Y/N do you play D&D? You should totally join our club!”

“Oh uh, I actually have never played before, but I would be interested in seeing how you guys play if none of you mind?” The group surrounds you with a chorus of yes’s and nods of encouragement while Eddie sits silently next to you.

He nudged your arm while the others went back to their own conversations about character sheets and who you could be that would benefit the team best, forcing your attention to shit undividedly to him. “We can always meet after school if you want to help build you a character and go over some basics? I’ve got extensive knowledge on the subject, I’ll have you know, and the dungeon master really should be the one to teach you these things,” he finishes with a wink and you flush under his intense gaze as you soak up what he said.

“Ye-yeah actually that sounds wonderful. Maybe you could come over on Friday after school?”

“Sorry, hun, Hellfire Club meets Friday’s, but we could go out for dinner after and I’ll divulge all the details to you then?” He looks at you hopefully, like you would ever turn him down.

“Absolutely, my treat since the all mighty dungeon master is willing to help a lowly, inexperienced player,” you smirk, beginning to open your lunch sack and pull out a sandwich and some chips. He laughs, reaching into his own lunch and snacking on some pretzels. “That all you brought?”

“Yeah, woke up too late to make anything so I just grabbed the first thing I saw on the counter,” he shrugs like its no big deal.

“Here,” you tear your peanut butter and jelly in half, extending the larger half to him, “we can split mine.” He studies you for a moment before nodding with a smile and reaching under your thrust out arm and picking up the smaller half. He takes a quick bite before you can react and you bop his shoulder with your own and begin eating your own half.

Lunch passes by quickly, as does the rest of the day and you’re grateful to be able to head home after your last class. Eddie trails behind you, continuing his earlier trend by carrying your backpack over his shoulder as you both make your way to the parking lot in front of campus. “I’m this way,” you point towards the bike rack as Eddie comes to a halt, watching you unlock your bike lock and pull it from the metal rack.

“C’mon, hun, load that sucker up in the van and let me give you a lift home? I’m dropping Gareth and the guys off anyways,” he smiles, already heading over to his van and lifting the trunk door up. You follow along with your bike allowing him to help you load it up before climbing through the side door and plopping yourself down next to Gareth while Eddie starts the van.

You all chat throughout the drive to your neighborhood and when you arrive, Eddie jumps out and rushes to the back, hauling your bike from the trunk and placing it on the sidewalk next to Gareth's house. “Thanks Eddie.” You grab the handlebars of the bike and say goodbye to the guys before turning and heading towards your own driveway, pausing to turn back and wave. Gareth has already disappeared inside his house, but Eddie remains watching your retreating figure and you shoot him a smile and wave before heading through the gate into your backyard and leaning your bike against the side of the house while you listen to the sounds of Eddie’s beat up van drive down the street.

The rest of the week passes by very similar to your first day. Eddie continues to carry your backpack around school and by Friday afternoon, most of the school body has condemned you to the freaks table, but you couldn’t care less. As you’ve gotten to know the group, especially Eddie, you are reminded of your luck in moving here and suddenly don’t miss your old school all that much. They make you laugh and help guide you as you prepare for your first meeting with the Hellfire Club, continuing to make you feel welcomed and less nervous to jump into the fantasy world that is D&D.

After school, you make your way to the theater room with the guys and watch as they begin to lay everything out and prepare themselves for the campaign. “You can sit next to me, Y/N!” Dustin shouts at you as you watch, moving to grab a chair from the stack against the wall. Smiling, you make your way towards him to help, but Eddie intercepts and pulls the chair from the freshman’s hands.

“Sorry Henderson, on her first day she’ll be sitting with the dungeon master,” Eddie smirks at you, carrying the chair up to the head of the table and setting it next to the grand throne. “You can take a seat next to me, hun. I’ll help give you pointers as we go on so that when you join the next campaign, you’ll have a better understanding of what is going on. It’ll make it easier to build your character tonight,” he winks.

You blush, taking the seat next to him and nodding. You watch the boys follow suit, sitting and listening as Eddie begins his opening speech. For the next two hours, you study the map and board, enthralled at the detail and time that clearly went into making this game fun for everyone. Eddie whispers little tidbits of information as you go along and you follow intently during the course of the evening, releasing a long sigh when Eddie announces that the trial is over, leaving the boys on a hook that will pick back up the following Friday. They all groan as they begin to clean up the mess and re-stack the chairs.

You help as best as you can and soon enough, you’re all walking out the school doors and to your respective vehicles. Once Eddie figured out you were biking to school, he made it a point to start picking you, and Gareth of course, up in the mornings, as well as dropping you both off after the school day was over.

You wave goodbye to your new teammates and follow Eddie to his van, allowing him to open the passenger side door for you. Once he’s inside, he turns to look at you and asks, “so, you feel like diner food, Chinese, pizza again? What’re you in the mood for sweet cheeks?”

“Hmmm diner food, a burger sounds fantastic right now. Oh and a milkshake!” Eddie laughs and turns on the ignition, pulling out of the school parking lot and heading into town.

“I could definitely fuck up a milkshake right now,” he says, smiling over at you before returning his focus to the road. “So what did you think of the game? Interested in officially joining the club?”

“I think so. I mean, it seems incredibly complicated and you’ll need to be patient with me for the next couple of months, but it does look fun. You’re really good by the way, at storytelling and everything.”

“Well thank you my fair maiden. We will go easy on you for your first campaign, don’t worry too much about that. Plus, everyone seems eager to help you along,” Eddie glances over at you before turning in the the car park of the diner.

“Do I get one of those cool shirts now?” You nod your head towards Eddie’s torso proudly displaying the Hellfire logo he designed.

Eddie parks the van before hurrying to your door and opening it for you, providing his hand to help you out. “Absolutely, you can’t be a member without one.” You reach into the back to pull out your backpack and just as you go to sling it over your shoulder, Eddie steals it before sliding it onto his own. “Too slow, hun. Gotta be quicker than that.”

You shake your head at him and bump your shoulders together, forcing him to shuffle to the right. “You have no idea how quick I can be, Munson.” He pauses his stride and stares as you turn around and start to walk backwards towards the glowing lights of the diner. “C’mon, we gotta fuck up some milkshakes remember?” He fumbles out of his stupor and jogs to catch up with you, propping the door open with his shoulder and motioning you inside first.

You both are greeted by an older waiter and follow him to a booth tucked away towards the back of the room. Eddie slides in first, setting your pack down next to him and you fold into the booth opposite him. The waiter slides the two of you some menus and retreats back to the kitchen. You both glance over your options, quickly deciding on the burger and a chocolate shake, you set your own down and study Eddie’s face as he surveys his own menu.

His long hair covers most of his face, but you can’t look away from his stunning brown eyes as they begin to gloss over in deep concentration. “What’s got you so focused over there dungeon master?”

Eddie breaks from his thoughts and drops the menu onto the table top, folding his arms on top of each other and leaning in close to you. “I’m just trying to figure out when the best time to ask you whether or not this would be considered our first date or not would be. But I guess the cats out of the bag huh hun?” You blink at him in shock before leaning in on your own half of the table, fingers moving anxiously.

“Did you intend for this to be a date, Eddie?”

“I mean I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything and I know you’re still new here so you probably want to explore other options, but I was worried that if you did you’d forget about us losers and-”

“Eddie, stop. I like you. As a friend and as something more too. If you want this to be a date, then so do I. Don’t downplay yourself, you’re incredible. You have done so much for me since I got here. I mean, hell, five minutes into meeting my mom and I you were getting the guys to help us settle into the house,” you reach across the table and grab his hand, resting it in your own two hands and twirling the ring on his right ring finger around.

“Well as much as I love all the flattery, it was for selfish reasons I assure you. The second I saw you outside Gareth’s garage holding that box, I was head over heels sweetheart,” he says with a soft smile.

You make to reply but before you can get anything out, the waiter returns to take your order. As you start to pull your hand from Eddies, he interlocks your fingers and orders for himself then looks at you. With you smile, you place your own order and watch as your waiter retreats towards the kitchen once again to put it in. You shift your focus back to the brown haired boy in front of you and ask, “so since this is officially a date, does that mean we can share milkshakes cause your oreo option is sounding pretty good now that you’ve ordered it”.

Eddie laughs and reaches across the booth to tuck your hair behind your ear. “Of course, as long as you don’t drink all of it. I do not give you permission to fuck up my entire milkshake.” You laugh heartily, Eddie joining you soon after. You both talk the night away, food and drinks coming and going, your character fully built and developed. Before you know it, it’s after ten and the diner is getting ready to close for the evening. “C’mon, I’ll take you home, hun,” Eddie stands, pulling out his wallet as he goes.

“Oh no you don’t head banger. I already told you I was paying on Monday, put that away,” you complain trying to reach for your backpack, but as always, he scoops it up and launches it onto his back, away from you.

“This is a date isn’t it? I asked you first, so technically that means I’m the one paying. You can ask me on the next date and maybe then I’ll let you pay,” he says with a smirk and a wink. You give him a small frown and grumble that technically you had asked him before grabbing onto the hand not holding onto a twenty dollar bill and intertwine your fingers. He leads you up to the checkout counter and hands over the bill to your waiter, refusing his change as a tip and bidding him goodnight. You wave as well and head into the chilly evening air.

“Let’s get you inside the van and the heater blowing,” Eddie says, noticing your shivering body huddled against his side. You thank him as he opens your door for you and rub your hands up and down your arms as you wait for him to get the van started. Eddie starts the engine, wasting no time as he blasts the heater on and reverses out of the lot. As soon as you’re on the main road he continuously glances at you before focusing his eyes on the dark streets of Hawkins.

“What?” you ask curiously.

“Hmm? Oh nothing, sorry. Just- can I hold your hand?”

You snort out a laugh, reaching between the center console and grasping the hand that was fidgeting with the driver’s armrest. You bring his hand into your lap and similar to in the diner, you twist his ring around his finger, admiring them as you do. “I like your rings,” you say quietly.

He looks at you again, a faint blush rising up his neck as he clears his throat. “Thanks, um, my Uncle gave me a couple as birthday presents a couple years ago and I just started collecting more after that.” You smile at him warmly before relaxing completely into the seat, extremely happy with how the day turned out.

“They suit you,” you say with more confidence.

“Thanks, hun.”

As you head towards your house, you fall into easy conversation about the next campaign Eddie has planned for Hellfire and he reassures you that it won’t be too intense to allow you to get your bearings and survive past the initial fight. When you do eventually pull up to your house, neither of you move to get out of the car, just basking in a comfortable silence as Eddie turns off the engine and shifts his body to face you. “I had a really good time tonight, Eddie,” you whisper, not wanting to break the stillness that’s filled the air of the van.

“Me too, sweetheart. Think you’d maybe want to come to band practice tomorrow afternoon? I mean, I know it’s a lot of effort to make the journey to the garage next door, but I promise to make it worth your while?” Eddie smirks as he leans forward to tuck another strand of hair behind your ear. Instead of bringing his hand down, though, he continues to play gently with the ends of your hair, twirling them around his pointer finger then letting it drop.

“If everyone’s cool with me barging in, then yeah I would love to watch more of that head banging action you’ve got going on,” you laugh.

“I am pretty good at it aren’t I?”

“Oh yeah, think you’d be willing to give me some lessons?”

Eddie makes a face like he’s thinking about it before saying, “sure, but my one on one lessons don’t just come free you know?”

“Well what would you like?”

“How about another date with the beautiful maiden?” he asks with hopeful eyes, hand dropping from your hair and onto the armrest at your side.

You lean forward into his space across the console, prompting him to meet you halfway. Your faces are only inches apart in the darkness of the van, but you can still clearly see his stunning eyes and pink cheeks. “I think that can be arranged,” you whisper softly.

“Okay then, it’s a date.” Eddie leans in closer, bringing his left hand up to cup your cheek. “Could this head banger also be rewarded with a kiss fair maiden?” Nodding slowly, you turn your head to lay a soft kiss on his cheek before moving in and brushing your lips with his ever so gently.

As Eddie goes to pull back, you surge forward placing both your hands on his neck and lock your lips with his. A groan rises from the back of his throat as he catches up with you, moving his soft, full lips against yours. What started as a light peck has now evolved into a full blown make out session as you bring your hands up into his thick, unruly hair. He moans softly when you give it a slight tug and brings his own hands to rest on your waist, gently pulling you closer towards him. As you’re about to move onto his lap, you hear your garage door start to open and rip yourself away from Eddie completely to see your mom standing in her nightgown and robe on your illuminated driveway. “Shit, I guess that’s my cue,” you say, reaching into the back and pulling out your pack.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Eddie asks as he pats his hair down and fidgets in his seat. You nod hurriedly before wrenching the door open.

You glance at your mother who is very clearly watching you with her hands folded across her chest and decide, fuck it. You lean back over into Eddie's space and lay a sweet kiss on his parted lips, only giving him a few seconds to kiss back before crawling out the passenger door. “I’ll definitely see you tomorrow dungeon master,” you wink and shut the door. Eddie watches you transfixed as you bound up to your mother and turn to wave at him. He waves back at the both of you and watches as you pull her into the house.

Once the garage door is securely shut does Eddie restart his engine and drive out of your cul-de-sac.

For the next half hour, you're regaling your mom with tales of your afternoon with Hellfire and evening with Eddie and once again you think of just how lucky you are to have moved next to a band containing the hottest head banging boy you’ve ever seen.

#eddie munson x reader #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie my beloved #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson oneshot #joseph quinn #buckyinparadisemasterlist #hellfire club

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thesmokingguns · 2 years

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Married at First Sight Chapter One

Taglist: @ayablackwood @rocknrollsoul76 @greeneyezblackheart @lady-jane3 @rocketgrrrl27 @slutforstradlin @theoutsiders25 @fispapercrafter @bbyamberx @brezeblog @samanthasgone @aggressive-slytherin @clover270 @grayxiu @another-obsessed-with-duff @badfvith @bia003 @queenbae18 @axl-roses-rose @d-ahliaa @beebemarie @guns-n-roses-gal @themoonbelongstome @pinksweetgirl18 @cemmia @bieberhoodforever It’s all or nothing

This season on Married at First Sight we’re just in Hollywood California, our singles are a bit different from prior years. Though they are still looking for love and their forever partners, this year our grooms are a little more well known from prior years. Our brides will be marrying some of the biggest names on the Sunset Strip but though they may know the men in name they will still be marrying a stranger.

Tommy is sitting in front of a camera, he’s biting his nails because he’s uncomfortable with this whole thing and vaguely wondering why he agreed to this concept of marrying someone who he didn’t know. When the band was first approached with this Mick had tried to tell them all this was a bad idea and not not do this but Vince was asking about TV time and Nikki was asking about the way they were matched he was persuaded to join. WIth most of the band seeming okay with it Tommy had joined in, ready to start his journey.

“Hey, I’m Tommy Lee, drummer for Motley Crue.” He flashed his smile, “I’m 27 years old and I’m looking to get an old lady to settle down with. I’ve been touring with the band and having all these once in a lifetime experiences but have been missing that once in a lifetime love.” The producer asked him a question off camera that would be cut out and he laughed, “I’m actually a pretty normal guy. I think what I look forward to most in a marriage is having someone to cook with. I’ve cooked like twice in my kitchen and it would be really cool to have someone to do that with. I’m a decent cook and I’d love to marry someone who has a passion for cooking too.”

Tommy was done with the interview, his stomach knotting as he thought about how he was going to have to break the news to his parents about this marriage. They hadn't really recovered from his divorce yet and his mother still gave him looks as if she was reminding him marriage was forever. He did feel better knowing Nikki and Vince were doing this with him. At least he’d have some support in all this chaos.

Nikki slid into the seat, making small talk and sending smiles to the crew around him. He was forever a people pleaser and easy to make friends with everyone around him. He was excited about this opportunity of marrying a stranger. His birthday was in a couple months and he was going to be 31. He expected at that age to be a dad with a home and a wife who he loved and who loved him. He had just gotten sober the past year. Going to clinics and working in treatment. He had become his best self and was afraid if he had to keep living a life where he had failed before he would slide back again.

“I’m Nikki Sixx. I'm 31 and the bassist for a Motley Crue.” He was flirting with the camera, feeling suddenly self conscious of himself but wanting to try to make some sort of good impression, “I want to be married at first sight because I love traveling and it would be so fun to have someone to share that with. Make memories with the love of my life and have a photo album to look back on when we’re old with all of our adventures. I’ve worked a lot on myself the last year so that I can be the husband someone deserves. In a marriage I want to be the best possible person. I think getting married is a once in a lifetime event and I want that once in a lifetime girl.” He felt like he was being too honest and open but he did feel like that.

He was thinking about how many girls he had slept with. How many pretty stranger’s had he had in bed with him? What was the chance that the stranger he was going to marry could be one of the girls that he never called back? His heart thundered and he gulped water down. Wondering why he gave such a shit to so many women and knowing he wouldn’t make that mistake with his wife. He wanted a love story like his grandparents, a legacy of love. That was what he wanted more than anything in his life.

He would work for his marriage, no matter what.

Vince wanted to be married at first sight because he loved love. And he thought he had the face that deserved to be on TV broadcasted all over for people to see him. Tommy and Nikki were the more loved guys and they saw him as using this as a chance for free press but Vince also wanted to meet his Cinderella and give her a fairytale.

“I’m the Vince Neil. Lead singer and the good looks of Motley Crue.” He flashed his megawatt smile, his tan skin looking as good as he felt. “As a hopeless romantic I think that getting married at first sight is right for me. The idea of the experts picking the perfect partner just-“ he blew out like his head was going to explode, “I don’t always make the best decision when it comes to love. I don’t always think with my right head. I just see someone and get crazy for them. I believe in soulmates and forever and that’s a big deal for me. Marriage is…a lot. I’ve made mistakes when I was younger but I’m 28 and I know now how to work though that. I’m ready for my forever.”

As he spoke forever his palms got sweaty and he rubbed them on his ripped denim, heart thundering as he suddenly realized just how serious marriage was. He was thinking past just the superficial worry of what if he wasn’t attracted to his wife and moving into the real territory of fear of what if he didn’t get along with her. Vince didn’t like think the sinking feeling in his gut as he thought about what could go wrong.

This was probably one of the dumbest ideas Izzy had ever been talked into. When the band had all been invited to the audition Axl had wanted to be in it so badly. When he and Steven hadn’t been found matched Izzy, Duff, and Slash were all matched. This led to some brutal tantrums from the lead singer and the more frustrated he got the more commuter to the idea Izzy was. Plus, he liked the experts and found the questions in the interview process beyond superficial. He didn’t love it when they checked out his home and he felt judged by the raised eyebrows over overflowing ashtrays or the clothes he needed to bring to the laundromat but didn’t have time.

“My name is Izzy Stradlin. I play guitar in Guns N Roses.” He didn’t want to be on camera. That was the biggest downfall of this entire mess. A relationship was hard enough without strangers poking into it and filming it. The cameras would be the worst part and he was well aware of how much he was going to struggle with not having privacy in something he found to be a very private matter, “I want to get married at first sight because I am finally at a point in my life where I’ve accomplished my dreams and I’d love to be able to share good news with someone who isn’t my mother.” he took a drag of his cigarette, walking away from the camera before they told him he was done.

Izzy was worried the person he was going to be married to would be a fan of the attention. It made him sick to his stomach to think that someone might be doing this for the wrong reasons and marrying for TV time and not love. Izzy was better in a caring relationship, he knew that was stupid but it was also true. He thought better, wrote more, and was overall a more well rounded person when he had a partner at his side. He didn’t have the highest hopes for all of this but he would take his marriage seriously. This stranger was going to be his wife. His responsibility. And he felt a lot of pressure to make it work with her.

Duff was breathing in through his nose, out through his mouth to stop the anxiety attack that was making his chest tight with nerves. He was going to pass out. When he was told they had found him a match he had laughed and hugged the professionals; he was on camera. But as soon as they told him they needed to get a short clip of him introducing himself and explaining why he was doing Married at First SIght he said he just needed to go to the bathroom and he’d be right out for it. But now he was on the floor of the bathroom, trying to pretend like he wasn’t crying. This was a big deal. This was his perfect partner, the person he was going to spend his life with. He had one failed marriage under his belt and he didn’t want to add another. He wanted to give whoever this stranger was his best self but he wasn’t sure that he could really do that and it scared the hell out of him.

What if he wasn’t good enough? What if music was the only love that he had time for in his life? That was something that was a real possibility and Duff was so horrified by that idea. What if she wanted kids? Could he be a dad, a good dad and not just some sperm donor who had kids he saw one weekend every month? He felt light headed and like he was going to puke as he over thought all of this. He hadn’t expected to be matched. He was sure Steven and Axl would be but not him. Now he had to go through with this feeling like he wasn’t good enough the whole time.

“I’m Duff McKagan and I play bass for Guns N Roses.” Duff lit a cigarette and tried to calm down enough to get through this interview. He needed to keep his shit together for a few minutes so that he didn’t ruin this. “I want to find the love of my life just to do ordinary things with. It’s so hard coming home and there being no one there with me. Having someone to tell about my day, to call when I’m on the road and just hear their voice and feel like I’m home even when I’m not. To have a partner where we can support and push each other to be better people. That is what I want. Love is a big word and it gets used so easily but I want to find that forever love with my person. And I think marrying a stranger is the best chance I have of finding that magic four letter word.” Duff let his heart speak, even as it beat 1000 beats an hour, at least he knew that he was speaking his truth about everything.

Slash ran his fingers through his hair, wondering when the last time he conditioned it was and trying to remember if he had conditioner at home. When he had a wife she would always make sure there was some conditioner at home. She would sit behind him in the tub and wash his hair to make sure he didn’t leave the house looking like a scuzzball. He would have a wife who took care of him and supported his dreams, who would love him and he would love her. He needed a wife who was patient and kind to balance out his mood swings and inability to remember things. But he would bring a lot to the partnership, he was caring and great at learning a love language. He believed in physical touch healing and even though he was in a band he was a secret homebody so he would make time for his partner.

“I’m the guitarist from Guns N Roses. Everyone calls me Slash.” He had his tophat on because that was his signature look and the producers insisted it would look good on camera. He also kept sunglasses pushed over his eyes so no one could see how freaked out he was about everything. He wanted to look back on this as a success and the first step of that was to not embarrass his future wife, “I love movie nights in bed and look forward to showing my future wife my VHS collection, hopefully adding some of her favorites in there as well. I want to marry a stranger because I am terrible at picking the person for me and I think this is the only shot I have of not f-” the interview was cut as he went to swear, “I think this is the only shot I have of a real marriage that can span a lifetime.” he was saying.

But as Slash walked outside, ready to head home and tell his friends and family he was about to get married he was worried what they would think. Would they all think that he wasn’t ready for such a big commitment? He was a screw up for so long and now he was going to have this epic adventure of love with someone. He hoped it would be a good epic and not an epic fail.

Next time on Married at First sight, we meet the brides and get to hear how some of the friends and families reacted to the news that our singles are soon to be Newlyweds.

#MAFS #tommy lee fan fiction #Tommy Lee Fan fic #nikki sixx #nikki sixx fan fic #Nikki Sixx fan fiction #slash imagine #slash fanfic #duff mckagan x you #duff mckagan fanfic #duff mckagan #izzy stradlin fan fic #izzy stradlin imagine #izzy stradlin fanfic #vince neil fanfic

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amorhedera6 · 6 months

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no scratch my battle of the bands au lemonade mouth nerdy prudes au!!!!!!!!!!!!!

steph is charlie, our drummer. she’s under a lot of pressure from her dad to do the right thing, be the right person. he’s had her on the soccer team her whole life, even though she fucking hates it. she’s played drums since she was a kid, when a music teacher caught her adhd ten miles away and suggested using the sticks to stim. it’s her passion, but her dad doesn’t give a shit.

ruth is stella, lead guitar. her family just moved for her dad’s job, and her mom is pressuring her to be more behaved at a new school. she’s never fit in with her family’s traditional values, the young housewife, concerningly older husband, five kids, stay at home mom, purity, misogynistic shit. her parents refused to buy her a guitar so she slowly stole from her brothers allowance for years until she had enough to buy her own.

richie is wen, keyboardist. he learned to play classical piano as a kid with his mom, but he hasn’t played ever since his dad died a few years ago. he’s still dealing with his grief but his mother as figured out how to manage hers and found a new boyfriend, and he’s not dealing with it well.

grace is mo, the bassist. she comes from a very strict christian family, who would never let her play music like that. she plays the chello in the school orchestra, aces all her classes, everything. she’s scared to deviate from her family’s plan for her. not because she doesn’t believe in god, but because she wants to be a regular american teenager.

which leaves peter as olivia, our lead singer. he was in dance classes a kid and had an absolute breakdown freak out of stage at a school dance recital, which left him relentlessly bullied his whole life. he writes music as an escape but would never consider singing for anyone else. he’s got severe performance anxiety. he lives with his older brother, and has since he transitioned at 11 and his parents threw him out. recently, his mom has been trying to get back in touch with him.

the rival band of mudslide crush becomes jäeger and the man, with max in the lead. kyle and jason are back up, and the three are all also football stars, making for rulers of the school. jason has been flirting with grace semi-innocently (for the standards of anyone but her) for a little while, and she’s going along with it bc she’s having a crisis of self.

on ruth’s first day, she gets in trouble for calling the principal a sexist motherfucker. the same day, steph loses her cool and chucks a soccer ball at the head of a girl who was bullying hannah foster, the only freshman who made it on the varsity team. jason keeps grace in the hallway after the bell rings to try and ask her out, but she freaks out and gets caught in the hall running away from him. richie called a teacher stupid. peter gets caught having lunch in a custodial closet.

which leads all of them to detention. the music room they are sentences to has an ancient rickety lemonade machine just outside. a can for a quarter: ziggy’s lemonade.

the music teacher, miss holiday, is running their detention and leaves them with cleaning suppies and a room full of instruments. steph starts drumming on the desk, and richie tosses around some keys he’s putting away. ruth recognizes a rhythm between the two, domino effect, and they start playing some of the instruments. steph sits at the drums, and ruth picks up a guitar. richie and grace are both hesitant, richie for having not played in a while and grace for not wanting to get in any more trouble than she needs to, but they both join. they make a nice beat and peter finds himself singing in front of someone other than ted since he was a kid.

miss holiday returns and tells them they are a fantastic band, which leads them to all scatter and i is it they aren’t even really musicians. she pushes them to consider trying out for the rising star competition at the honey festival. they all deny, but ruth pushes them to give it a try.

they do so, but it doesn’t work out immediately. it takes them a little time to find their sound, but boy do they find it. ruth signs up to perform at homecoming, splitting the show time of jäeger and the man in half. they’re pissed, and max starts terrorizing them. they all band together to stand up for each other, and steph ends up spitting some of her lemonade at max when he’s attacking pete, and he calls her “lemonade mouth”

not great as far as insults, but band names? it’s one of the best.

they’re scheduled to perform at homecoming, but peter has a panic attack and locks himself in a bathroom stall. they coax him out and they do perform, to so much cheering. they sing a song that peter wrote (determinate) and get halfway through a song with ruth’s lyrics about rebellion and shit when the principal shuts them down.

everyone fucking loved them though. there was a kid who recorded the set and made it into a cd, which sells like crazy. at one point richie peter and ruth are hanging out at peters apartment and hear their song on the radio. they call steph and grace and all get so excited, and then get offered a standing once a week set at pizza pete’s.

everything’s going well, and they even think they might win rising star, when it all falls apart for them separately. richie finds out his mom is engaged and loses his mind, tries to run out of the house, and runs directly into max. he provoked him and comes out with a black eye. steph breaks some of her fingers in a fit of frustration (slammed them in drawers she was slamming on accident). grace gets super sick just before the competitions and ruth is more concerned with the fact that the lemonade machine is being removed than the competition.

pete suggests to steph maybe just giving up, and she gets mad at him for not caring. he says he never even wanted to do this, and when she asks why, he yells at her that’s it’s because he’s been into her for years. he loses his voice in the process and goes home. ruth calls them all to come protest the removal the ziggy’s machine, which gets them all arrested.

steph’s dad is pissed, ted thinks it’s hilarious, richie’s mom and him have a heart to heart about emotions and being a teenager, ruth gets saved when her older brother picks her up instead of her parents. grace is in real trouble, but confronts her parents about how being reckless and having fun with friends doesn’t mean she hates god. she can be a christian and still have a life, and they agree.

the rising star competition is a joke, max’s band kills it, and they can’t even really perform. but they try, and when they fail, hannah foster in the crowd stands up and starts singing determinate. everyone joins her, even doing the dance that they preform with it. they’re a real band, even if they didn’t win rising star.

they keep playing at pizza petes for a while, all the while writing songs. steph and pete get together, and grace realizes she’s aromantic. ruth gets a gf who’s a fan of the band, richie finally gets the courage to ask out long time crush, trevor, who works at the cineplex. richie’s mom marries her boyfriend, where steph finds herself, on total coincidence, sat next to ziggs.

ziggs is the friend of the girlfriend of richie’s uncle, which somehow led to an invite to the wedding. they talk to steph about a lot, including the band. the group talks them into donating a shit ton of money to the school to save the arts department.

while continuing on and preforming, they get found and offered a record deal. they make an album and release it just as they finish high school. it goes absolutely viral. they shoot ip the charts and make so much money. in less than a year of the band being formed, they’re selling a sold out show to madison square garden.

peter writes a letter to his mom explaining how it all happened, and explaining that he appreciates the attempt but has no desire to stay in contact with her. they he goes to msg and performs his music with his people.

#nerdy prudes must die #npmd #starkid #hatchetfield #peter spankoffski #pete spankoffski #stephanie lauter #steph lauter #ruth flemming #richie lipschitz #grace chastity #grace chasity #max jagerman #jason npmd #ted spankoffski #this came to me like a vision in photography class #got a lecture from my spanish teacher about being in my phone in class but it was worth it #i’ll never have the drive to write this into an actual fic so if anyone else wants to feel free #the rambles

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poprockrenaissance · 6 months

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"An Open Window Into Another Dimension"

By Kelsey Cap

When I go to see live music, I generally prefer to be as close to the stage as humanly possible. There is something about being able to see the musicians get lost in their uninhibited stank faces, or witness some glitter wink at me from their eyeshadow or outfit that makes a live show that much more engaging and therapeutic. Except one downside to having such an intimate view is that it can be difficult to see the whole band perform depending on how the stage is set up or where you are standing. While seeing Grace Potter perform at the Shelburne Museum in Vermont in September, I was pleasantly surprised when the band came out on stage and I could actually SEE! Like a photograph perfectly framed between the glossy, weathered legs of Grace’s signature Hammond B3 Organ, there was Jordan West in perfect view. Normally she’s the most elusive person to see on the stage, since she’s always towards the back hidden behind a big drum kit. In that moment I found a window… a new perspective. Normally all eyes are on Grace, but this unexpected vision inspired me to take a little detour.

It brought me a lot of joy to be able to actually WATCH Jordan play all night. There still aren’t enough women playing drums and pursuing other male-dominant arts and lines of work, so it has been incredibly refreshing getting to experience a badass and wildly talented female drummer since she started playing with Grace in 2019. It means a lot to me personally because when I was in middle school, I actually wanted to try percussion in music class. To my disappointment, my mother said no to drums stating they would be too big and too loud for our small house.To appease her, I tried the flute and absolutely hated it. After two months, I switched to clarinet and hated that even more. So. Much. Spit. Three months later I quit the school band altogether and now the only instrument I know how to play these days is the tambourine.

When Grace and the band started playing “The Lion the Beast the Beat” and I felt those first few opening drum beats ricochet off my chest, it got me thinking... In some alternate reality, what if my mother had said yes? Could I possibly be the one up there on stage singing and playing drums with Grace? If I actually tried drums first and stuck with it, what would my life be like? Who would I have been friends with? How would being in the school band shape my personality and confidence?

I was friendly with the “band geeks” because at my school most of the misfits stuck together. My close friend group was loving and accepting of me but the majority of them were very academic-oriented and in advanced classes, which resulted in me spending way too much time and energy trying to get perfect grades. Even though it was a struggle, I think it was my way of proving to people (mostly myself) that I was smart. Because whether intentional or not, many people throughout my life have said and done things that insulted my intelligence and made me feel like my ideas and voice didn’t matter. Looking back, I think allowing myself to get a C every now and then would have been good for me… maybe I needed some band geeks to remind me of what living is all about.

To be honest, I don’t think I would have actually stuck with the drums long-term either. But I do think I would have had a blast banging on that shit and probably stuck it out a little bit longer. 20 years later I genuinely understand my Mom’s hesitation. Drums are not for the faint of heart. And despite our mutual love for loud rock music, I realize now that we both get sensory overload easily. I didn’t know that back then… but didn’t she know what a "good kid" I was? I was a rebel at heart, but had too much anxiety to break her rules. I would have only played when I was allowed or when she wasn’t home. God knows my Dad would have been thrilled to have an excuse to soundproof the basement or create a brand new setup at his place! That kind of stuff was fun for him. My father had a soft spot in his soul filled with a deep love and respect for female rockers. He introduced me to many strong, independent women in music, entertainment, sports, and science. And he always encouraged me to follow their lead. Women like Anne Wilson, Stevie Nicks, Carole King, Shirley Muldowny, and Sally Ride are the ones who led me to this show. He was and still is one of my biggest supporters, and I know he would have appreciated this unique vantage point as well. Good thing he was grooving along next to me all weekend in some alternate dimension for VIP angels.

As I snapped back into reality halfway through the song, I put my phone away and started to surrender my body to the beat. It was in that moment of pure, uninhibited emotion that I remembered how painfully beautiful my life has been. And I wouldn’t want it any other way. I choose to believe everything happens for a reason, and if you can’t find a reason, you make one. Maybe my Mom had to say no to me playing drums so Jordan would be the one up there on stage. The world needs a drummer like her. Maybe I lost my unique father to cancer at 19 years old so that I would have something to write about. So that I could find my voice and, in turn, help other humans find theirs.

This is why it is important to allow our children and other loved ones to chase after what calls them and speaks to their soul. Every single tiny detail or decision made throughout our lives could completely change the trajectory of someone else’s life. This is what I think Mother Road is about: duality in life and finding healing within it. We are in control of the narrative of our lives even when we didn’t choose the plotline. And both concepts can exist at the same time. It's the seemingly delusional realization that we are all deeply connected yet completely separate depending on the choices we make, the perspectives we see, and potentially… the dimensions of the universe that we reside in.

And just like that… the song ended, and a piece of deep-seated resentment towards my mother evaporated into the echoes of the screaming crowd. Music is medicine, and so is sharing your story. Never underestimate the power of an open window and a determined woman.

#grace potter #drummer #concert photography

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myloveforhergoeson · 9 months

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That's All She Wrote - Chapter 19

Chapter Index

Find me on wattpad + ao3!

Show: Big Time Rush

Pairing: James Diamond x Original Female Character

Chapter 19: No Sleep Till Brooklyn ~ 11k

Jo and Camille,

You’ll never believe who took my phone the first day of tour and refuses to give it back because “I have more important things to be focused on right now.”

I KNOW HE CHANGED MY LIFE BUT SOMETIMES I HATE GUSTAVO ROCQUE. And I’d never say I hate Kelly, but I am upset she let him do that… SOS!

Thanks to my expert negotiation skills, I’m allowed one call to my Dad per week - like this is some kind of prison or something - so I’m going to do my best to write letters to both of you in order to keep you updated.

While it took a long time for Gustavo, Kelly, and I to map out this tour path, I didn’t think about what it would mean to be crammed on a handful of buses with both the band and our musical accompaniment. Our lovely producer and talent scout get to take flights and stay in five-star hotels, but I’m okay to travel by bus. I’ve only been to Minnesota, Wisconsin, and California, so I’m excited to see the country this way. First stop - Orlando! In three days!

We booked three buses, one for the musical accompaniment (technically I’m one of them I suppose, but the boys say they hate road trips with Logan, so I just snuck onto the bus he’s on to keep him company), and two for the band. Each one has three tiny bunks, some couches, a full bathroom, most of a kitchen, and plenty of cabinet space for snacks, games, and anything we could possibly need. For now, I’m writing from the couch, sitting next to a napping Logan, and Carlos is up front making friends with the driver, Henrietta. The other bus is currently transporting Kendall and James.

Speaking of, after Gustavo told us the tour was back on after the concert when I came running to you two to tell you what had happened, James practically ran straight to 2-J to pack and hasn’t spoken to me since. I thought I had done everything right but I guess maybe he wasn’t actually into me after all. Maybe just the thrill of surviving a kidnapping?

“I lived through this so now I can kiss Roxy!”

Blegh.

Though, I suppose it might be a good thing… After thinking about it while I was packing I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now, if that’s even something he’s interested in. Sure, I like him, but I think I still need some time to get over what Dak did to me. As much as I don’t enjoy thinking about it, they bare many similarities and that scares me a bit more than I’d like to admit.

Pop stars

Can be self-absorbed

‘Cuda extra strength hairspray

Pretty

I should probably quit while I’m ahead, but I guess I’m gonna learn my lesson if I keep playing with fire and then promptly getting burned.

All my love,

Roxy

***

Hey,

It was so humid in Orlando that it took me an extra hour to fix my hair before the show, but other than that, we had a lot of fun! I’m really proud of the show we put together and getting to perform for a new crowd all the way across the country was so surreal. There are people who know all the words to my songs, more than willing to scream them right in my face… If only that pesky boy band wasn’t in the way.

Just kidding!

Today, we’re heading to Mansfield, Massachusetts - one whole day on the bus and a show tomorrow. I’d look up some facts about the town to share but, you know, no phone or whatever. Warden Rocque hasn’t changed his mind even after the combination of pleading from the five of us…

Before the show in Orlando, I got to talk with the guys in the musical accompaniment band a bit more, they were super nice! Mick, the bass player, is pretty quiet and mostly hangs out with Gustavo and Kelly since they’re old friends, but Austin, the drummer, is our age and easy to get along with! He goes to a performance arts high school in Los Angeles called Hollywood Arts (Can you believe that’s a real thing?! A whole school just for acting, singing, and growing musical talent?!)

Austin and I have somewhat similar music taste, and his father taught him how to play the drums, just like my dad taught me how to play the guitar! We’re alike in many ways, and since 1/4 of Big Time Rush wants to ignore me right now, I think I’ll be spending more time with him…

It’s bad that I thought James might kiss me again at the show last night, right? I stood in the same spot side-stage, putting on the same lipstick and everything, but he and the band just ran past me on the way to the other side of the venue. I wonder if he told them what happened; everyone else is being normal to me.

Logan says he misses you so much, Camille! Quickly followed by a panicked statement, “Not that I don’t care about Jo, it’s just different!” Kendall joined us on the bus today, swapping out with Carlos, and said, “Tell Jo I vow to get my phone back so I can call her again,” and when I asked him why he didn’t write you letters too, he claimed that stamps were too expensive. Perhaps your boyfriend is both illiterate and broke, Jo, and for that I’m sorry.

See you soon, even if soon isn’t soon enough,

Roxy

***

Thought of you both today, and it made me so happy,

We just arrived in Agawam, Massachusetts, which is only two hours away from Mansfield, so we had a quick show turnaround for the day.

I never knew going on tour was so exhausting, it’s like I’m constantly running around the venues, checking our equipment, making sure the proper snacks are in the band’s green rooms, or seeing if the stage crew needs any help. We have two big eighteen-wheelers to carry all of our stage equipment… I can’t imagine being in charge of all that stuff - the stage manager is a saint!

This morning, Gustavo dragged us out of the bus around 6 am to get to a local radio station so the band could promote their show tonight live on the air. They even gave a pair of tickets away to a fan, it was so fun to watch and reminded me a bit of my radio days. I might call my old boss and ask her if BTR can get on Project Pop when we finish our tour in Duluth.

While the band was working out with our athletic trainer to keep in shape for the show this evening, I hung out with Austin a bit more. He was nice enough to show me his drum kit and I think I’m going to ask him to teach me how to play if we have some free time. It looks a lot more fun than the piano, plus I get to hit things. Drums are a crucial part of instrumental songwriting, and I could really use the knowledge of a seasoned drummer to help me learn.

James saw us together today when he made his way to the stage to warm up for the show, and I might be overexaggerating but I think he was a bit put off by it. I thought about talking to him about it, not that I need to ask if it's okay or justify who I hang out with, but I actually think he and Austin would get along really well if he could stand to be in the same room as me for more than 5 minutes.

I think it should be illegal to kiss someone and then promptly ignore them. What if I wanted to kiss him again? And again? And again?

Anyway, I wish mail traveled fast enough that you two could send me replies and I’d be guaranteed to get them at the next venue. It feels a bit like I’m writing to a brick wall here, but it certainly keeps me occupied during our very rare downtime. The couch on this bus has become my unspoken spot (the bunks are too narrow and small for me to feel comfortable in them) and I need to do more than just sleep here, listen to my iPod, or write/play my guitar.

Until the next letter,

Rox

***

Hello!

Too many things happened today for me to record before the show, I’m writing you two a nice list as we drive away to our next stop.

James rode the bus with Logan and me today (a two-hour ride to Saratoga Springs, New York) and the two of them ignored me almost the entire time and just played their stupid video game on the TV. All I got was a “Hey, Rox, can we use the couch?” and some semblance of a thank you when I told him yes. Ugh. Is “Hey, Rox, remember when I kissed you last week? Wasn’t that so awesome? Wanna do it again?” too much for him now? It feels like I sucked all of his fun, flirty, carefree attitude straight out of his body.

I asked Austin if he could teach me how to play the drums and he said yes, as long as I helped him write a song for a fun summer project. Apparently, a good chunk of the kids at his school are songwriters too, how neat! If they write something like a short scene of a play, a song, or a musical composition and present it in the first few weeks of school, they get extra course credit. I wish the Palm Woods school had something like that - I’d be rocking straight A’s the entire year.

It was finally time for me to call my dad today, as per Warden Rocque’s direction, and he’s doing okay. Nothing ever changes with him, so I’m pretty at ease as we travel. Kelly let me put him on the guest list for the Duluth show, and even though I know he won’t really like our music, I think he’ll admire the production. He always wanted to tour around the country, and I hope showing him some backstage magic can help satisfy the teenage rocker he used to be. Maybe it’ll be a good time for him to meet Kendall, Logan, and Carlos too!

The band was recognized in public for the first time today while we were waiting in line for coffee! I’m not sure if the girl posted the photo I happily took of her and the boys to ScuttleButter, but I hope you two can find it so you can see their dazzling, shocked smiles. They were beyond ecstatic; Carlos spilled most of his drink from how hard his hands were shaking with adrenaline. Good thing he wasn’t wearing his concert outfit or Gustavo would’ve thrown a fit.

I was hoping to sneak away and take a train to New York City since we got here so early in the morning, but that is what happened instead. We’re playing Madison Square Garden near the end of the tour, so I’ll see the city then, but I’m worried I’ll be too tired and burnt out to enjoy it.

Warm wishes,

Roxy

***

Friends,

Sorry for the lack of letters these past few days! We’ve been so busy getting from New York to Oklahoma, we haven’t stopped anywhere with a mailbox I could easily find. You know what would make it easier for me to find a post office? Having my phone.

I’ve probably complained about that enough, right?

Over the course of this particular trip, I’ve been traveling with Logan and Carlos and I’m beginning to understand why the boys claim road trips with Logan are tough. He has a pretty strict expectation for cleanliness, which Carlos and I do not adhere to at all - but in helping clean up and placing things in their bunks to help put a rest to Logan’s anxiety this afternoon, I learned he has a picture of you, Camille, tapped to the top of his bunk. It’s been pretty well hidden by the curtain he keeps drawn, but I caught a glimpse of it this afternoon. So romantic!!! I imagine Kendall has something similar of you, Jo, but I’ll have to wait until he’s back in rotation with us to double-check.

I wonder if it’s exhausting for the other three to keep moving around, or if they prefer it that way. For me, I like knowing that Bus 1 is my bus… Having to haul all my stuff from one bus to another feels like an excellent way to lose some of my things.

Do you think if James and I were together he’d have a picture of me in his bunk? The thought of him falling asleep to dreams of me… Seems impossible. And exhausting to work for. If he’s going to be all hot and cold like this, I’m not sure I’d be able to take it, but on the other hand, it’s not like I’m communicating with him either because whenever I even try to bring up anything related to us at all, I freeze up and all the thoughts exit my brain before I can get a word out. Maybe we are made for each other after all since neither of us seems to want to get a word out… The pretty idiot and his idiot songwriter… Haha….

On a separate note, after the show in Tulsa tonight, the band, our bosses, and the musical accompaniment will be headed straight to the airport to catch a flight to Del Mar, California for our next show there in four days. Due to my flight aversion, I get to stay with the buses and gear and travel on the ground to meet them there. It will be interesting to see how I fare, considering I’ve been around the band 24/7 for the last two weeks. Maybe I’ll be able to work on some music distraction-free. I have a few works in progress, both about guys I really don’t want to think about, but once this tour cycle is over there’s no doubt we’re going to begin the process all over again for album 2.

Just paused writing this to pull out my journal and write “All Over Again” down on a blank page. That sounds like a wonderful song title.

Talk again soon,

Roxy

***

Guess what?

I was right about getting in some quality songwriting time. With the near silence of the bus, besides the intermittent strumming of my guitar and terrible singing of my own lyrics to the musical background track in my head, I think I’ve finally finished Til I Forget About You, even if the title isn’t all that accurate.

In fact, the title isn’t accurate in the slightest. In these last four days, I don’t think I’ve ever thought about Dak more. There’s been lots of frustrated yelling, crying, ripping and crumpling of pages of my journal on the floor… I don’t know how Taylor Swift makes writing break-up songs look so easy. She’s been who I pray to when I get stuck on a line or can’t figure out which chord I like better.

Between Gustavo’s and my affinity for pop music, when I write from the deep recesses of my heart, I find myself bringing out my rock roots. There’s nothing better than the feeling of guitar blasting from the speakers so loud you can feel it rattling around in your rib cage, filling up your ears and leaving them ringing for days on end, and that is the feeling I’ve been coasting on these few days…

It reminds me of my dad and I think that’s why it helps me feel better. Growing up on the heels of his time in the rock scene in Texas, then discovering the punk scene in Minnesota, he was always using his free time to replicate the sounds he’d hear at shows to play for me on his days off. He would tell me all the time that I was such a smiley, giggly kid, as long as his guitar was out - so the minute I was old enough to hold one in my hands he bought me one and taught me to play.

When I was finally old enough to go to shows with him, I always loved the contrast between our looks - my mainstream, bright-colored clothing straight out of TeenVogue and his old, beat-up black band t-shirts blending in with the dark ink on his forearms and even darker jeans and Doc Martins. Was a crowded basement in a random suburb miles away from our house, filled with drunk 20 to 30-somethings and a lineup of 7 different bands in one night really the safest place for a 13-year-old girl? Certainly not, but he always kept me safe and gave me a space to foster my own music taste just like he was afforded as a teenager.

Phew. That was a long-winded way of saying that I’m finally starting to find myself getting over the pain Dak caused me through my music, and I’m really lucky Big Time Rush has given me the space to explore this. Not that Til I Forget About You is an incredible, unmatched rock song - it is still very much a pop song, which I love just as much - but it is, for all intents and purposes, mine.

I miss both of you so much, and I cannot wait to see you again.

Roxy

***

Greetings,

One thing always seems to lead to another. In Del Mar, we finally had an actual, honest-to-God day of rest yesterday and the band asked if I wanted to go to the beach with them. Of course, I agreed, because it felt close to chilling by the Palm Woods pool, but once we got there I quickly learned that the trip everyone took without me brought Austin and the boys closer together. Which is fine, that’s what I wanted in the first place, but now, it feels like I’ve lost my touring buddy.

They spent the entire day surfing (where did these boys learn how to surf?), playing volleyball, and trying to pick up dates, and basically left me to my own devices to watch our stuff. I even wore my best bikini top (purple!) in hopes maybe, just maybe, it would bother James a bit, but I’m not sure he even noticed as he kept trying to play wingman for Carlos and Austin all day. I guess he decided no one on the beach was interesting enough to try and pick up.

Something I did notice, not that it matters at all, but Austin had a bit of trouble in the sun all day. Logan said that he was displaying symptoms of hypoglycemia, and he and I had to help Austin back to our stuff at one point after he nearly toppled over from how shaky his legs were. Eventually, we were able to get a few sodas in him, and he claimed to be right as rain, but it was pretty scary. I know it’s not right of me to ask him what I can do to help if he ever needed it because if he wanted me to share, he would have told me, but it was a bit hard not to take note of the small, off-white pod attached to his deep almond abdomen when he took his shirt off.

Typically, I’d just look it up in private to confirm my own thoughts, but I don’t get my phone for another few days. For now, though, or until he’s comfortable talking about it, I stopped into a corner store on the way back to our buses to grab some snacks that I think would help if his blood sugar were to drop unexpectedly again. Now I just pray nothing punctures the small juice boxes I put in a plastic bag or the hard fruit candies don’t spill out and stick to anything.

And on top of all of that, despite applying copious amounts of sunscreen, I managed to burn my legs. Goodbye shorts and skirts, hello pants I was saving for the colder climates. I tried to take a page out of Hayley Williams’ style book and go for shorts and fitted tees or crop tops as my go-to stage look - adding in jewelry, belts, tights, whatever to switch up my looks day to day, but now I guess I’ll be looking more like Gwen Stefani circa 1995 with my small shirts and big pants.

The show went off without a hitch and we’re off to Central Point, Oregon now, and hopefully once things get back to normal I can get my tour buddy back.

Rox

***

Girls!!!!

I know you’re both from the east coast, and I am obviously so Midwest, but there is just something about the crisp, Oregon air that makes me long for a different hometown. If I grew up here, beautiful Central Point, I think (in addition to being a major league hippie) I might have led a very different life. It’s strange to think about, and I’m incredibly grateful for my current life, but can you imagine if I was the owner of a quaint crystal shop on the edge of the evergreen forests of this state, or if I hand knit sweaters, tye-dying them all crazy, fun colors to sell to tourists. One pretty prominent radio station, Talk Radio Network, is based here, so maybe I’d still be Rockin’ Roxy out here too…

It’s a quiet town, however, not like Duluth or Los Angeles, and it’s pretty far from Portland. My dad always told me he wanted to visit there - apparently, they have a thriving music community in that town.

That’s all I have in the way of updates. After tonight’s show, we’re on our way back to California to the town of Turlock. Kelly, Gustavo, and I could have been a bit more coordinated when booking shows, but we were desperate enough to take whatever we could get, even if it meant extra travel time.

Extra travel time, however, means I have more time to think about the dumpster fire that is my love life as I am now trapped in a bus with James once again. Maybe he and Logan will play that stupid game again and leave me alone as I write.

Speaking of, here’s a few lines I’m working on. What do you think?

I see you walking, but all you do is pass me by,

Can’t even talk, ‘cause words don’t come into my mind,

I’d make a move if I had the guts to,

But I’m paralyzed

Best,

Roxy

***

Good morning, or evening, or whatever the appropriate time may be,

I’m so sorry I skipped out on letters these past few days, our show turnaround time has been insane, and I’ve been doing my best to keep up with my assistant-ly duties to the best of my ability - meaning I’ve had no time to myself in the last four days. Since I last wrote, we’ve been to Turlock, California, Costa Mesa, California, Kansas City, Missouri, and are presently pulling away from Harrington, Delaware.

A list of things of note for you:

In Turlock, Carlos ran over to me during the show and asked me if I wanted to sing. I said absolutely not and he ran off again. Then in Costa Mesa, he ran up to me during City is Ours and asked me to shout “There they are!” into his microphone after the “We pull up, open the door, all the girls scream-” line, while the rest of the band held theirs out to the crowd. They’re really taking this show and making it theirs, and it’s lovely to see. As I write this, Carlos just informed me I’ll be doing that every night with that big, goofy grin of his that makes it impossible for me to even think about saying no.

We did a radio show in each city, and the questions these interviewers come up with in order to be different from one another are just insane. Though, one of the hosts did ask them if they had anyone special waiting for them back home - it gave Logan a chance to stutter his way around the question (Camille… Make it official with him already!) and Kendall the opportunity to monologue about Jo for, like, five minutes. I would’ve recorded it had I had a device on hand capable of doing so (yeah I’m not done complaining). By the time he was done, the interview had nearly ended, so Carlos squeaked out “I have four special people!” and I think he meant the Jennifers and Stephanie (Is Stephanie back yet?). James (blegh!) said “Anyone willing to wait on me is special,” like the true teen idol he is. Any girl willing to wait on him… I pity her.

My drum lessons started in Kansas City after the band managed to rope Austin into a game of pickup while the buses were unloading. Who puts a basketball hoop outside of a music venue and expects anyone to get anything done? Regardless, it was a lot of fun and Austin is a pretty attentive teacher - far better than grouchy Gustavo when he was going over piano basics. There’s a lot I can learn from him! We also started writing his song, a fun, simple summer song about the beach and girls and whatnot… I’m excited to see this project through with him.

Gustavo and Kelly wrote a note on the daily itinerary sheets they give the band and I that we’re currently headed to Denver, Colorado, where we’ll have two days off from performing to do interviews, radio shows, news slots, the whole nine yards. Apparently, news outlets come to us, not the other way around, and they’re very excited to talk to America’s next top boy band. We’ll be doing a few live acoustic performances as well, meaning the guys and I, on camera, filmed for the whole world to see. Let’s hope I don’t mess up.

Miss you endlessly!

Roxy

***

Greetings from the Mile High City,

The press day, the boys claimed, was “hella exciting” and “beyond epic”... I’d describe it more like “waking nightmare” if anyone bothered to ask me. All they had to do was sit there, look pretty, answer some questions or play silly games, and sing. I, on the other hand, was lost in an endless pile of media release forms for every news outlet to approve, combing through the Gustavo pre-approved questions the interviewers were going to ask the boys, keeping their refreshments well stocked so they never ran out of water and choked on a dry throat when they went to answer questions… My work is never-ending!

Definitely one of the worst days on this tour for me, though, I wouldn’t choose it over having to go back and rewrite Til I Forget About You. Speaking of, in my previous letter I forgot to mention a particularly important line that I keep repeating to myself whenever I find my thoughts unpleasantly flickering to Dak… Or at this point, to James.

I found a place where I can lose myself,

And just leave your memory on the shelf,

See? I’m fine, no, I don’t need nobody else.

The punctuation is subject to change, but for now, I’m quite certain I don’t need anyone else in my life. I’m fine just being Roxy for a while… Even if my thoughts often turn into Roxy and James.

Not to toot my own horn, but the song is very good, and I can’t wait to record it once we get back from tour. I think that’ll be a good point to mark my “getting over it” progress.

Something I forgot to mention about these interviews, that I now realize as we pull away from the Denver venue and off to Eureka, Missouri, is I’m actually learning so much about the band by sitting and listening in. They almost never talk about their lives before Hollywood, because the four of them have (as I learned today) known each other since they were four years old. From first meeting at a Pee-Wee hockey league game all the way to playing varsity hockey at MAHS, they’ve been with each other almost their entire lives. Most of the interviewers ask really good, clear questions, that lead the boys down a path that gets them talking and reminiscing on themselves - something they rarely speak about when the others are around. Today (among other things) I also learned Carlos is fluent in Spanish, Logan was really into ventriloquy in middle school, Kendall is allergic to kiwi, and James is the heir to the Brooke Diamond Cosmetics company.

I should have put two and two together on the last one, he’s insanely beautiful and the last name “Diamond” isn’t exactly very common, but remembering what he’s told me about his mom and now knowing she’s Brooke Diamond?? The Este Lauder of the Midwest?? accounts for a lot of his behavior.

A few years ago, there was a big scandal that hit the front page of all the Duluth papers, news stations, radio waves, etc., claiming that BDC’s top model, and Brooke’s husband, Blake Diamond, was caught having an affair with a woman half his wife’s age. On top of that being insanely disgusting, it was in the news for weeks, announcing the Diamond divorce, explaining the court hearings and who got what, all leading up to Blake and his girlfriend eloping to Vegas and getting married the minute he and Brooke were officially split.

What does that do to a budding teenager? Chew them up and spit them out a completely new person. No wonder James never talks about his parents, or his home(s). The only time I learned something about his family was after the dance when he told me his mom made him break up with his boyfriend and when we were back in Minnesota he vaguely told me his parents were separated.

God, I cannot imagine what that must have/still feels like for him. Knowing that he had Kendall, Logan, and Carlos to help him through it makes me feel better, though.

I think, among other reasons, that might have been why he helped get us back to Hollywood a few days before the big concert. Either returning home to his successful mother as a failure or returning home to stay with a cheater and his new wife…

Phew. That was a long one. Every time I send one of these I can feel the two of you mentally cursing me for my wishy-washy gushy James feelings - trust me, it’s just as exhausting for me to think I’m fine alone one day, then want him so badly the next. Please bear with me while I figure this all out.

Wish you were here,

Roxy

***

Eureka!

Somewhere in the middle of Kansas, Kendall woke me up from my lazy couch nap to tell me he wants to learn how to play the guitar.

“That’s great,” I said. “I’d love to teach you, but all my guitars are strung left-handed.”

Bless his heart, he cocked his head and asked, “Why does that matter?”

“Well. I’m left-handed. You’re not. It’s a completely different learning process.”

“Do you know how many hockey players play left-handed, even though they’re right-hand dominant?”

Of course, I don’t. But, in the small second I had to think about it, I realized that there are plenty of famous guitar players that do that too… kind of. Many left-handed guitar players just learn right-handed because left-hand guitar equipment isn’t produced near as much or to the same quality and standards as right-handed equipment!

Thankfully, my dad is left-handed too, so he knew where to get the proper things in order for me to play when I was little, but it was I who took it upon myself to learn how to restring a guitar to fit my own needs. When I was 12, there was this beautiful oak wood acoustic in the local music shop, but it was strung right-handed. The owner didn’t know how to restring it (claiming no one had ever asked him to before, but I just think he was lazy), so I convinced my dad to buy it, a pack of new strings, and a tool kit, and I took it apart, then put everything back everything completely opposite - worked like a charm, until I sold it a few years later to get my electric acoustic.

In all, I’m excited to teach Kendall but I’ll have to find the time in between my assistant duties and my own drum lessons. The request was a bit out of the blue, however, and I wanted to ask him why, but he was too busy buzzing to Logan about it after I told him yes. Maybe he’s trying to learn a skill that will set him apart from the other band members.

After tonight’s show, we’ve got another one tomorrow before another press day, then a stretch of three more shows back to back. It’ll be tiring, but at least we’re having fun. Playing shows is rewarding beyond measure, and hard for me to put into words, but the connection the band has to their audience is unmatched. The way they can make thousands of people get up and dance, sing, let loose… It’s a beautiful sight - one I’m so lucky to be able to witness almost every night.

Maybe you can find some clips on SnoobTube,

Roxy

***

Girls, I’m running out of clever greetings,

I AM SO TIRED.

Columbus, Ohio, along with being a boring city in the world, also happened to be the same place our press day was taking place - meaning we were there for two days too long. Then, we had our three-day tour stint.

On day one, one of our eighteen-wheelers containing half of the stage set up was late. So, guess who, on top of making sure the boys were situated in their green rooms and had everything they requested, had to assist with tech setup I knew nothing about, got to run the soundcheck almost completely alone, and explain to Gustavo the boys had to go on a few minutes later than anticipated :)

On day two, I learned more about the boys. Maybe I’m being dumb and petty, but I think it’s a bit strange that much of my knowledge of them is now coming from these interviews - they’re sharing important things, that I think as their friend I should have the right to have known about beforehand. They know I’ve been struggling to get good at the piano for months now and guess who I learned has been playing all his life? James. Would it have killed him to maybe offer a helping hand? In addition, I found out Logan’s favorite food is toast. Just… plain toasted bread and butter… Kendall’s dream pet, apparently, is a goat because he misses the one we rented at the School of Rocque so much and Carlos doesn’t think Antarctica is real. I wish I could’ve stopped him before he said that during a live interview, but you win some, and you lose some. I was too busy handling all the paperwork and helping the next news outlet set up to get the interviews done as quickly as possible to get in his way.

On day three, we made it to Clearfield, Pennsylvania, a cute town that runs along a beautiful river I discovered on a walk in the morning. Sometimes being cooped up in a bus all night gets old, so when the boys work out in the morning, I wander as far as I think I can before Gustavo and Kelly realize I’m missing. The show that night was great, but Kendall ripped his pants jumping off one of my amps, and everyone in the first few rows got to see his underwear. I’m not sure he’ll be living that one down for a while.

On day four, we rolled into West Allis, Wisconsin around 6 am, where we were promptly escorted off the bus and into a local radio station, who called Gustavo the previous evening and practically begged for a Big Time Rush live acoustic performance. So, Mick and Austin got to sleep in, while I grabbed my acoustic guitar and drowsily followed the boys into the studio, languishing in the familiar smell of Lake Michigan - So close to Lake Superior back in Duluth! We performed three songs, Big Time Rush, Stuck (of course…), and Any Kind of Guy acoustic. Honestly, my stage skills are getting better with each performance, and I think it’s because the guys make me feel so relaxed when we play together. Whenever I performed with Brand New Day, I was always trying too hard to impress Dani, and more importantly, Mag, so playing always took a ton of effort. But with Big Time Rush, I feel so at ease, and I’m able to let loose and have fun. The only thing that caught me off guard today was James derailing the interview before Stuck to dedicate it to “Any girl who feels like they’re invisible… Don’t worry, I see you.”

Dedicating a song you didn’t even write to a person it’s not even about? Barf. Those words keep rattling around in my brain and I wish I could kick them straight out, but I’ve been dwelling on them for days.

On day five, we took a ferry (!!) to Midland, Michigan, while our eighteen-wheelers had to take the long way around, through Illinois and Indiana. Since our stage equipment didn’t arrive until the later part of the day, I pulled out two of my guitars stored away in Bus 1 in order to give Kendall his first lesson at the venue. Since Carlos bunked with Logan and me the night before, the boys decided to switch buses for a few hours, which meant I had to deal with an insane amount of James' side eye as he went about making his breakfast in the small kitchen.

If he’s got a problem with me hanging around my friends, he’s no better than Dak and I’m certainly not going through that again. He kisses me a few times and now thinks he has some weird possessive thing over me? Absolutely not. I’m just so done with him, I don’t understand how just a month and a half ago we shared a journey that literally altered the course of our lives, and now, here he is, acting as though it meant nothing to him.

Maybe I need to get out of the celebrity dating pool - if this tour has taught me anything it certainly is the fact that all my friends are famous and I am not.

Yeah. What a downer of a letter this turned into,

Roxy

***

Send lots of caffeine and my giant stuffy puppy to Fairlea, West Virginia, please!

I’m too exhausted to write out a better greeting, so this letter begins with the truth. There were many times over the last three days I sat down to write this, but every day I ended up falling asleep in the middle. Last night, Logan had to physically remove the pen from my hand while I slept as I was apparently in danger of poking my eye out.

In three days we’ve been to Hamburg, New York, Indianapolis, Indiana, and Peru, Illinois. Another day without seeing the Big Apple, another day in a big city that makes me miss Los Angeles, and another day in a city where if the name and state weren’t written down on our call sheets I might be so tiredly deluded I think we’re in a different country.

Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James are natural-born performers. I, on the other hand, am starting to believe that I may not be cut from a similar cloth. Something inside of them keeps them on the go, go, go, and I would love to know just what it is that makes them tick. The only thing keeping me motivated right now is getting to hear the crowd sing along to my songs every single night. It sounds a bit cheesy to write out, but it’s true! To know all of our hard work writing, recording, and rehearsing, is paying off and reaching corners of the U.S. we didn’t even know existed! And that people are buying our album… So I’ll have a nice cushion of a retirement plan when I’m older…

That, and my lessons of course! Austin has been so cool about helping me learn the drums, and I think I’m getting pretty good even though I’ve only had a few moments of practice. That, and we even had enough time to work on our song more, which is surprisingly almost complete… That boy can write! My goal is to write a drum section for one of my songs all by myself. Normally, Gustavo is able to take my lyrics and guitar melodies and write in drums, bass, piano, or whatever else we think is necessary to execute our grand vision, so for once, I’d like to fill in a new instrument and save him some time which would probably also equate to saving him some time yelling at our other band members.

Guitar lessons with Kendall have been going well too, though I’m not sure he’s very fond of me as a teacher. I’ve struggled to put together little exercises for him to practice because I barely remember learning guitar myself. Maybe I can talk to my dad about it on our next call.

Oh! And Carlos and I invented a game today!

We call it Honk Bonk, and you play it exactly how it sounds. Any time a car in traffic honks, you bonk the closest person on the head with something near you. My weapon of choice, of course, is my journal, and the boys are already used to bonking from that, though someone did honk during Kendall’s lesson today… I was tempted but alas, he needs to stay pretty so he can date my best friend. And sell more albums.

I hope you’re both well, I can’t wait to get back home to see you,

Roxy

***

Panicking! I spent all of today panicking!

This morning, Logan and Kendall shook me awake around 3 am to tell me that it was James’ birthday. TODAY.

I had a few thoughts on this. 1. Why didn’t any of the band mention this until we were three hours into the day? 2. Where the hell am I supposed to get party supplies on a moving bus rolling into Fairlea, West Virginia? 3. How am I going to survive an entire day centered around the guy I’m doing my very best not to think about? 4. Is James mature enough to be the first of us to turn seventeen?

Thank God James was on the other bus because if he had heard the ideas Logan, Kendall, and I had in order to surprise James the minute we stopped at the next venue…

Here was what we came up with:

If you cut up little pieces of colored paper, it kinda looks like confetti. The colored paper in question? Three of the front and back covers of books Logan had brought and finished in the first part of the tour. Kendall had to physically restrain him as I did this.

I’m a songwriter - when in a pinch, write a song. The three of us quickly devised a little spin on the traditional happy birthday song to surprise James with on stage later that blends into the traditional song everyone knows. Hopefully, an entire stadium of people singing to him is a good enough gift.

We can take old tour itineraries from the previous towns, a Sharpie, and some of the bungee chords holding our equipment down during travel to make a HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES banner.

The bus was stocked with enough items to make Oreo Fluff salad, thanks to the miracle that is pudding cups, but not a real cake… He seemed to enjoy it when he came to tell me we were going back to L.A. after a few hours in Duluth. I don’t have any green food coloring, however, so it was boring black and white.

A sub point - around 6 am I begged the bus driver, Henrietta, to let me use her phone and call a Fairlea local bakery and express order a cake to bring out on stage. I also managed to call the venue and ask them to pick up some cupcakes to be waiting in the green room when we arrived and put up any party supplies they had on hand.

It was exhausting, like most things on this tour I guess, but once we rolled into town everything had been squared away, our efforts were well worth it.

Did you know that when James smiles, like really smiles, he has the most adorable dimples that carve right into his cheeks?

A smile that makes me breathless. A smile that remained on his face all day as we surprised him with our homemade banner, confetti, and treats. A smile plastered on his face the entire show, especially when we surprised him with our song, cake, and the entire crowd sang him happy birthday.

When the show ended, the band freshened up and went to meet some fans out by the front of the venue, and I had to run back into the bus and record my journal entry and write this letter, as I currently am before they came back.

My journal entry contained the word “James” like 40 times.

GOD! He ignores me almost all of the tour, speaking to me only about the essentials or whatever's going on around us on our days off, I finally decide he isn’t into me and I should just chill out for a bit, and now I’m suddenly all about him again. Maybe it’s just because I’m around him literally every day… Maybe it’s because I felt a hint of (healthy! Definitely healthy!) jealousy when he looked at everyone singing to him on stage and in the crowd except for me… Ugh.

We’re on for another multi-day stretch of shows, so please forgive me for fewer letters as the days go on,

Roxy

***

Look I know I said I’d be sending fewer letters but I NEED to tell you guys this.

After arriving in Farmingville, New York, around 9ish in the morning, I was abruptly awoken to the sound of Gustavo yelling at the band about who knows what. Apparently, this pissed them off so much they came storming onto my bus, told me to get ready as fast as I could, and thirty minutes later we were sneaking out of the venue and into a taxi that drove us right into the heart of Manhattan.

We messed around the city for the ENTIRE DAY and Gustavo had no way of finding us since he had our phones. Finally, we got to be the tourists instead of the attraction, before getting back to the venue before the show started.

Once the taxi dropped us off right outside of Time Square, Logan had the brilliant idea for each of us to pick one thing we wanted to do, and do our best to complete them before the end of the day. The list is as follows:

Kendall wanted to go to the top of the Empire State Building

Logan wanted to visit the Morgan Library

Carlos wanted to see Spider-Man

James (after loudly complaining we couldn’t see something on Broadway) wanted to take a sightseeing cruise around the bay to see the Statue of Liberty

I wanted to see the musical instrument display at the MET and I convinced everyone to join me for a lunch picnic in Central Park.

Today was literally perfect, though I did feel a bit bad about leaving Austin and Mick back at the venue to run the soundcheck without me.

Besides admiring the thousands of advertisements roving around the Square, the first thing we did was hit the Morgan Library. The architecture was just breathtaking and it was amazing to see the carefully curated collection of historical documents. They even had musical manuscripts and printed forms of music from nearly one hundred years ago… I wonder how a boy band in 1909 would look… Or if my journals will be on display in 2109… Scary!

Not as scary as the top of the Empire State Building, though!

It was so cold and windy up there, even in the middle of the summer. I practically had to cling to Carlos’ arm to feel even a little bit stable, but of course, he wanted to get right up to the very edge of the building and look straight down. Kendall and Logan wanted to join him (one to spit off the edge and the other to try and calculate how far away the second tallest building in NY was) so I got passed off to James. Would it have killed him to put his arm around me and tell me it would be alright? Jesus. He just stood there, silently looking off into the distance while I clutched at his arm. Message received: He isn’t into me.

The rest of the day was fun and I wanted to write more but now I’m a bit sad after writing that. All I really want to do is go to bed now; I’ll tell you about it when we meet again, I guess.

Roxy

***

Daddy,

Tour is hard. So hard. And I feel so stupid for thinking that I was cut out for this kind of thing. Songwriters are for the studio, not the stage. I’ve spent so much time around the guys I’m starting to go crazy. You and I always talked about traveling if we had the money, and let me tell you one day per city is hardly enough to even say that I’ve been here. It’s not cross-country exploration if I haven’t explored five minutes past the closest coffee shop because I can barely keep my eyes open without caffeine.

I’m constantly tired. My back hurts from sleeping on the couch. My fingers are so sore. My eyes are dry from the incessant spotlight lighting us up for thousands of people every night. The next person to ask me for something might get their head bitten off if they don’t say “please?”

Just because I’m an assistant doesn’t mean I get to be walked all over.

The applause is nice though, hearing everyone sing along to my songs even in parts of the country I’ve never even heard of… Maybe that’s enough to get me to Duluth.

I can’t wait to see you. Sorry for the depressing letter, I’m having a hard time being away from both of my homes.

Promise you’ll listen to the setlist before you see us?

I hope I’m making you proud,

Roxanne

***

Hi.

The shows in Lima, Ohio, and Falcon Heights, Minnesota were great. Our friends are just so talented. It was hard being so close to Duluth, and I invited my dad to the show last minute, but he wasn’t able to make it.

We’re driving to Essex, Vermont now - 13 hours into a 20-hour journey.

The weather out here has been awful, it’s been thunder storming nonstop, so we haven’t been making as many stops as we usually have. Just my luck I’m stuck with Logan and James, and I’ve been writing a song all day.

It’s a song for James’ invisible girls… More accurately, a song full of words I wish he would say to me.

Am I out of mind, or just invisible?

Anyway. It’s been extra hard to write because the two of them were sitting less than three feet away from me the entire time. They’re both so nosey, consciously or not and kept looking over at me. I could tell they wanted to ask me about it, but at least they were respectful enough not to.

It’s got a really beautiful guitar melody, but I’d love to get my hands on my keyboard back home because I have a cool idea for a backing track… Never thought I’d be excited to play the piano but here I am, itching to play it thousands of miles from home.

We play Boston, Massachusetts in a few days, and the boys kept talking about wanting to hit up a pizza place in the city that they visited during one of their hockey tournaments a few years ago. At this point, I’m just trying to get through the next 7 hours. That’s when we get to the next venue, though we have to take a day off from the show tomorrow. Not only is it Carlos’ birthday, but it’s the day of Hawk and Rebecca’s trial. Sweet, sweet seventeen spent reminiscing one of the worst moments of our entire lives. Whoo whoo.

In other depressing news, after coming to the realization that I like James, but he doesn’t like me, it’s been extra hard to be around him. Mostly I just hang out with Austin and beat out my frustration on his drum kit… The last 13 hours have been like hell. Every time James smiles, it makes me want to. His laugh rings in my ears, sending a jolt straight through my heart. Whenever he gets up to walk by me, it takes everything in me not to stare as he moves about the bus.

It’s exhausting… Having a crush on someone is supposed to be fun. I’m supposed to feel like I’m walking on air, and glow, and sparkle, and shine. Instead, I feel like shit.

Truly, I guess I don’t really know him like I thought I did. What happened to the always flirty, unserious, loverboy who took me on a date our first month in Los Angeles?

I think I blew my chance with him once I met Dak, and I think I hate myself for it.

Exhausted and missing home,

Roxy

***

Happy birthday, happy trial day,

I hope you’ll be pleased to know that Hawk and Rebecca will be going away for a long time. We tried to celebrate Carlos’ birthday with cupcakes at the venue, but no one had an appetite after our Skype trial. To try and lighten the mood, I played a few songs he showed me at the beginning of the tour on my guitar, but I could tell as he absently sang along it wasn’t really helping.

Though, in other news that I shouldn’t be happy about, James spoke to me today unprompted and asked if I was okay after my testimony. Apparently, I was speaking quite shakily… Which, yeah. I was fucking kidnapped and asked to recount it in front of a room full of people I don’t know, of course, I was shaky. But at least he was thinking about me.

Maybe he needs signs or cues or reasons to act or something… Weirdo.

Anyway, we’ll bring a cake out for Carlos during the show tomorrow and have the crowd sing for him. Hopefully, he’s in better spirits tomorrow.

This was a weird letter, I know. Life’s weird recently, but thanks for reading. Miss you two.

Roxy.

***

Carlos fucking Garcia has been reading my mail. I’m convinced of it! Because tonight, when the band did the little introduction of their musical accompaniment, Carlos introduced me, walked right up to me, planted to sweetest, wettest, loudest kiss onto my cheek, and told me he loved me in front of the whole crowd.

When I told him I loved him back, we got some “awwws” (mostly “boooos” that I’m choosing to ignore) and continued the show.

Then.

When the show ended.

James grabbed my hand, dragged me off towards the back door of the venue, onto some side street alley where we couldn’t hear the crowds of people leaving the show anymore, and asked me if I wanted to make out.

A reason to act! Carlos telling thousands of people he loved me was a reason to act!

So.

We made out in a dirty, smelly alley and I think it was the best night of my entire life… Besides the five seconds I’m pretty sure a rat touched my foot.

There is hope yet,

Roxy

P.S.

When I got back to the bus I was buzzing so bad I told Logan everything. That I liked James, that we kissed, that we kissed some more, that I think about him all the time, that I’ve written one and a half songs about him already.

I’m in so deep at this point… And all Logan did was grin at me - stupid, dumb grin - and say “Finally,” before heading off to his bunk to sleep.

Camille, I hate your almost-boyfriend and I’m drawing all over his face in Sharpie tonight.

***

Oops,

Not to leave you two on a cliffhanger but the last month of tour has been so insane I haven’t even had a minute to myself to write (letters or otherwise), think, or even just take a breather in a coffee shop in the middle of nowhere.

The rockstar lifestyle is hard to get used to… Hopefully, we budget more off days for future tours or I might go crazy.

To answer the question I know is on your minds: No. Nothing else happened with me and James, though he does actually sit down and talk to me now (even if it’s mostly work-related, I’ll take it). We toured all throughout most of the other states in the country, I’d write them all here but I lost track after Boston if I’m being honest. Though I do know that at one point we were in Phoenix, Arizona and Kendall accidentally said “Hello, Las Vegas!” to the entire stadium.

MSG was insane. Best venue I’ve ever been to, the best crowd we’ve ever had, and the second-best night of my life.

As I write to you now, we’re about to play our last show in Duluth, Minnesota, before our three-day journey home. I’ve got a bunch of silly string to prank the boys with on stage during their solo sets… They won’t even know what hit them!

My dad finally got to meet the guys, though I’m not sure he liked any of them but he was kind enough - but what father would like the four boys his daughter is best friends with? I have no idea why he keeps calling James “Jay” but whatever. After the show ended I snuck him out of the venue and showed him our buses, and trucks for stage set up, and let him meet Mick and Austin as well - Austin even performed his song for my dad… His first audience member!

Safe to say, he loved Austin’s number, but how he felt about everything else, he didn’t share on his face like normal. I like to think I’m pretty good at deciphering how my father feels at this point in my life, but he kept his expressions at bay as we walked around everything we had waiting for us outside. I hope it didn’t put him off or something, considering I know that being a musician was his dream, too. What he did say was: “You shared this bus with two boys?” and “Which guitars are you using, Honey Bun? You deserve only the best.”

Dads.

I also got to meet Logan and Carlos’ families! (Minus James’... I felt really bad for him that his parents weren’t there…) Logan’s moms were so sweet - overly doting on him, fixing up his outfit, practically smothering him with health facts and tips. I think one of his moms is a realtor, while the other is a doctor, which would explain Logan’s want to be a doctor himself. If I had to guess, I’d say she’s a pediatrician. She gave off the vibe she’d be amazing with kids. It must have been so wonderful to grow up in that household :)

Since I’d already met Carlos’ dad, Mr. Garcia was kind enough to introduce me to his wife and three daughters. Genetics work in mysterious ways, blessing each of the Garcia children with the same dark hair and alluring eyes. It was hard to tell sisters Maria, Lupe, and Alena apart, but after talking to them a bit I was able to find some differences. They all followed me on ScuttleButter, so maybe we’ll talk more in the future. I loved getting to know them! Mrs. Garcia and her son also share a lot of the same mannerisms - they’re both curious, caring, and just a bit ADHD. The two of them spent most of their time together with the girls, pointing out different things about the venue, sharing stories from their time away from each other, and the coolest part was their switching back and forth from English to Spanish depending on if they wanted their conversations to be overheard or not.

At one point I think they were talking about me (and James) but I can’t be sure. Maybe if I’d taken Spanish in school instead of French my freshman year…

I wish Mrs. Knight had been there, but Kendall and James kept themselves occupied by talking sports with my dad. For a bit, Dad and Kendall talked about guitars after mentioning that I was teaching him how to play, leaving James out of the loop, so I went over and struck up a conversation with him.

Normal. That’s what we are - or more accurately what our relationship is - though, I think he looks at me a bit differently now. There’s no evidence to that last statement, I just feel his eyes on me sometimes and it makes my chest flutter. I much prefer being friends (who made out) that are able to be around each other, than whatever his weird, “ignore Roxy” game was.

The show’s in 10, so we need to start walking to the stage!

I loved writing to you two, but I can’t wait to get back to talking face-to-face. I’m in dire need of a girl’s night.

See you soon (for real this time),

Roxy <3

A little change of pace before season two! Thanks for reading :) Support for this story has been overwhelming!

Since school is starting back up, I'm going to be switching back to posting every two weeks instead of every week. <3

Season two starts September 5th, but I'll do my best to post little one-shots and such on my tumblr, so check over there every once and a while :)

#thats all she wrote fic #big time rush #btr #james diamond #james maslow #kendall knight #kendall schmidt #logan mitchell #logan henderson #carlos garcia #carlos penavega

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pidge-poetry · 1 year

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Foals welcome bassist Walter Gervers back to the band

"Get ready, the boys are back in business"

By Andrew Trendell | 2nd May 2023 | NME

Foals have announced that former bassist Walter Gervers has re-joined the band.

The band, who are currently gearing up for a run of intimate UK out-store shows before hitting the road to support Paramore in South America and then later return to headline Reading & Leeds, had previously teased to NME that they’d have a “surprise” for fans about who’d be playing with them at the upcoming gigs.

Now, they’ve revealed that Gervers is back in the line-up, following his departure from the group in 2017.

“After six years in the alpine wilderness guess who’s back in the band?,” wrote frontman Yannis Philippakis in an Instagram post of his fellow Foals members in the pub with Gervers. “Walter is back and better than ever. Rejoining for all the coming shows and into the future. Get ready, the boys are back in business.”

The band then went on to share footage of the reunited line-up back in rehearsals.

Gervers previously left the group in order to “pursue a new life”. The band remained a four-piece before becoming a trio when keyboardist Edwin Congreave left in 2021 to focus on his studies and environmental work. Following Gervers’ exit, live bass duties have been carried out by Everything Everything’s Jeremy Pritchard and Jagwar Ma’s Jack Freeman.

Speaking to NME in 2019 ahead of the release of ‘Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost Part One’ – their first record without Gervers – Philippakis spoke of how the band felt without him as “the counsellor” of Foals.

“Walter was probably the nicest member of Foals, so without him, you’re left with four sharp edges in a room,” said Yannis. “Those sharp edges have to find a way to get on quite quickly or the whole thing turns into an unbearable nightmare.”

Drummer Jack Bevan continued: “If you were to look at it as a family, and I’ve seen about 100 times more of these guys than I have my actual family over the last 10 years, then Walter was kind of like the dad or much older brother who kept us from fighting with each other. A lot of the time, he was the one who would organise us to do nice and wholesome activities.”

Last month saw Foals release the dub remix of their acclaimed 2022 album ‘Life Is Yours’ by Speedy Wunderground label boss and super-producer Carey (Wet Leg, Slowthai, Fontaines D.C.) as part of 2023’s Record Store Day releases.

Philippakis told NME about how the “sweaty and unclean” remix album “goes into space, via Streatham”, as well as their hopes and plans for touring with Paramore and headlining Reading & Leeds for a second time.

Foals embark on a short run of intimate UK dates this month before Reading & Leeds in August. Visit here for tickets and more information.

#foals #walter gervers #nme #liy era

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sunburnacoustic · 1 year

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Found the archives of some old sites, and I don't know about other people but I'm feeling slight old/lost fansites nostalgia, so I might post some clippings from fansites here. What is this blog if not a tribute to everything in the Muse universe anyway?

But so that it's not an awful scroll on your dashboards, I will break it up into posts. Find the full thing on the Internet Archive, linked (thank goodness for the internet archive!)

The Muse biography from the now-defunct microcuts.net, one of the biggest Muse fansites before MuseWiki ended up being the only one left (social media doesn't count).

Archived here.

Biography

Muse are an English trio hailing from the sleepy town of Teignmouth in Devon. The band consists of Matthew Bellamy (lead vocalist, lead guitarist, and pianist), Chris Wolstenholme (bass guitarist) and Dominic Howard (drummer).

Matthew’s childhood

Matthew was born in Cambridge on the 9th June 1978 and moved to Devon with his family at aged 10. Matthew’s dad was in a band called The Tornadoes, who were the first band from the UK to get a US number 1 record. At the age of 14 Matthew’s parents got divorced. "It was ok at home, middle class, we had money,” Matthew says. “Well until the age of 14. I think I almost got everything I wanted until the age of 14, yes. Then, everything changed, parents got divorced, and I went to live with my grand mother, and there wasn't that much money. I have a sister who's older than me, she's actually my stepsister: my dad had her from a previous marriage, and also a younger brother. Until the age of 14 music was part of my life since it was part of the family circle: my dad was a musician, he had a band, etc. But it's only when I moved in with my grandparents that I started playing music myself. It was like a need to me."

Matthew moved in with his grandmother and then found music was a need for him. He started playing piano at 6, but the absence of his parents turned him towards the guitar when he was 14. His parents and older brother also used an Ouija Board to contact the dead, which Matt discovered when he was wandering downstairs late at night. He then became interested in it after the divorce of his parents. “It was exciting to go to school and to tell 10-year-old kids all about it, as they found it all quite scary and I was quite impressed that I was doing something that was scary to other people but that wasn’t to me. I did get quite into that.” His beliefs changed after one correspondence predicted the first Gulf War a year before it started. “My beliefs in the whole thing changed. I now believe that you’re contacting something in your subconscious, which is quite different. Something that you might not have known was already there. That’s probably more realistic than thinking you’re contacting somebody who’s already dead. And I do practice that.

Dominic's childhood

Dominic was born on the 7th December 1977 in [Stockport,] Manchester and also moved to Devon when he was 8 years old. He and his family had no interest in music until Dominic went to high school when he then became interested in a jazz band, and started playing the drums.

Christopher's childhood

Chris was born on the 2nd December 1978 in Rotherham, Yorkshire but also moved to Devon (at 11). His mum would buy records regularly. He started by learning the guitar, and then the drums to finally play the bass when he met Dom and Matt.

[Pt. 2]

#Muse band #Matt Bellamy #microcuts.net #muse fansites #old website nostalgia is kicking in; I am not old enough to have old website nostalgia and yet technology moves so quickly that here we are #muse biography #muse #matt bellamy #chris wolstenholme #dom howard

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musicisinmyveins · 1 year

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I always thought of myself as a "music buff". I loved music in so many forms. I obviously loved the music my parents brought me up with; which was their tastes I suppose. My Mom had a love for Neil Diamond and Elvis Presley. My Dad, I guess I never really knew back when I was younger who his favorites were. In fact, I am still not sure who they are. Perhaps I should look into that before I no longer can.

My taste in music was a wide variety though. However, what I lacked in, was a knowledge of the members of all the bands that I had a passion for. I knew songs, not always the titles. I knew a few lyrics, not always full tunes. I definitely did not know artists, singers, drummers, guitar players. I suspect when I was growing up I may have known more but as I got older and had children, I definitely became "absent" in the world of anything that wasn't in the life of a child. I am almost ashamed to admit that I barely knew who Kurt Cobain was when he passed away. I mean, of course I had heard of Nirvana, but to have known the whole story of him and his life and to have truly known him, I did not. I was too buy raising small boys to even entertain the idea of listening to anything other than Barney and Winnie the Pooh. I also think, at that stage in my life, I may have been listening to country music or going to dance clubs on the few nights I did go out. I knew the Macarena dance moves, and the lyrics to "Baby Got Back" but there were so few things in life I had time for truly.

When someone comes into your life and either introduces you to good music or perhaps they just simply take the time to teach you about music, artists and how to appreciate something that you once truly loved all over again, you will never forget that person. You also generally never forget the moment that they first made this happen.

For me it was when I was asked who my favorite artist was and I couldn't name anyone and he responded with Dave Grohl. I was so embarrassed when I didn't know who that was. Even more so now.

He made it my homework assitnment to learn who he was and to listen to the Foo Fighters. I will never forget. I took that assignment very seriously. I found a documentary on Netflix and watched it that night. I was sold. I fell in love with Dave and with Taylor Hawkins. I think perhaps I fell in love with all of them to be honest.

Since that day, the man that brought me to that moment has brought me so many more songs and artists and moments in those artists lives. I have looked at stories and documentaries. I know so much about Kurt Cobain now and have fallen in love with so much of his music and have cried about losing such an amazing talent. I will be touching on so many of these stories and songs and artists he has brought into my world. It's oe of the greatest gifts he has ever given back to me.

Dave Grohl. I can't believe that I ever said that I didn't know who that was. I am ashamed of the girl that sputtered those words. I knew a lot of music, good music before that day, but my true appreciation for it has never been what it is like it is since that day.

Perhaps we all have that defining music moment.

#dave grohl #foo fighters #taylor hawkins #kurt cobain #netflix #baby got back #defining moment #finding music again #artist appreciation #musicians #music #my words #childhood music #spilled thoughts #writers on tumblr #my playlist #mimv:p5

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knightofhylia · 10 months

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interesting spiritual happenings goings on if y'all want some ugp

So for context, my dad has been dead for 4 years (yippee!!). He wrote about his religious obsessions (mainly Chaos and modern au Christian fanfiction) and published a few books. Currently, I am working with my Chaos entity Sai, who is in control of how much access my dad's spirit has to me.

A few months ago, I'm at the library with my husband. I'm wandering around playing Pokemon go while he's getting books. I happen to stop to catch something and look up and see a bright red book with an alchemy symbol on the side.

I'm like huh, wonder if this is from my deity (her colour is red and name is literally alchemy). I read the cover and it's called "Clockwork Lives". I think rad! Something to help inspire me to write about the lives of my deities!

I look at the authors. Kevin Anderson sounds familiar. Turns out he wrote Dune (one of my dad's fave books). Co written by Neil Peart, drummer of Rush (his fave band). Oh shit, I remember my dad emailed with Neil Peart when he was getting rights to use their lyrics for his own book.

I look over and see a book called The Orion Experiment. My dad was obsessed with Orion. I knew all the names of the stars in Orion basically from birth because of him, and it happens to be part of my name. I take that as a fuck around and find out. I say fuck it and check out the book.

In short, the book is about a woman who gave up her life to take care of her sick alchemist father. He dies and leaves her a book to fill with the stories of other people so she is forced to travel and collect stories.

I'm like damn, this is exactly the kind of book he would have picked out for me. I ignored much of my writing passion because he ruined writing for me, but recently I've been taking small steps into actually getting into writing again, mainly comics about coping with my dad's death and trauma.

Recently my mom got a bunch of stuff that my dad kept of mine. In it was a huge teal book that I've never seen before. it's completely blank. but it's not a book, it's a bunch of paper bound together between two folder ends. Someone whole punched this and out it together. So... is this my Clockwork Lives? Is this book his beyond the grave gift to me now that I'm free to write whatever I want about him? I'm considering asking The Wizard about it, but since it's Sai's domain I might ask his deck

#spirit work #ancestor work #bokh dva'

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sirensunrise · 1 year

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Thank you for responding to my ask with such depth. Cannot believe I didn’t consider changkyun and taemin. Ludacris oversight.

Would love to hear about what genre you see idols slotting themselves into with producing.

Idk if you like much non-kpop music but even trying to think of western bands/groups idols would fit into is kinda fun. Like yuta in 5sos, dawn in 1975 (still workshopping that), soyeon in paramore… I know that is an entirely different tangent to the original ask and what you said your tangent was.

First off, I LOVE music outside of kpop. I’ve grown up surrounded by mostly alt music (punk, rock, indie) (and also a lot classical) but branched into emo and then some pop, rap, and just all music like i just Love music so much.

Ok so also, to preface this, I just came back from a hockey game where I had one more drink than i normally have (they also were overpouring... like a Lot these things were essentially doubles lmao) so im a lil tipsy so whoops.

(as i’m writing this i am having more drinks this is fun)

Also bc I’m drunk (I’m writing this while halfway thru answering sorry) I’m gonna continue my og train of thought. Apologies. I will reblog this when I’m sober perhaps and actually do the secondary tangent. Also This isn’t necessarily what the idols would choose, but its what i see them doing if they were in that like alt universe discussed before. Where they are all rock/rock adjacent artists. Also might not include all of them. Literally if you want anything specific. Ask. I will answer. I love being asked shit like this.

What originally had started this was me thinking about yuta and taem and how yuta especially gave me hyde vibes. Which like duh, that’s his fuckin dad right there. They literally did a drunk insta live together and it gave me my whole life. Hyde was Super androgynous in the 80s and 90s which is huge taem vibes, also the cross mic stand and some christian imagery idk. it gives. plus hyde has a very distinct voice which both taem and yuta have. Yuta has such a japanese voice. idk how else to put it. its just So japanese rock. Yuta is a man built for that shit. lowkey im sorry but 5sos is pussy shit compared to what i see for my boy yuta. (who has such impeccable music taste like. yuta, hmu i know some jp, all my host sisters are from osaka, i love one ok rock. i like that you’re a perv) Also throwing in some X Japan style for taem just bc he would go to that extreme. If he did rock of course. idk the man is an enigma.

JK, im so sorry baby girl you give me mgk vibes every now and then. If not solo shit he would be in a band like as a drummer or bassist with amazing back up vocals/secondary lead. Kinda like how pete wentz operated but like. More. Jk would be a sleeper hit. I don’t think he’d be lead singer if in a band. But he’d do some fuckboy shit if he were solo. Probably do really intricate shit tho if he played an instrument. The boy likes muse, go watch him do that baseline and tell me otherwise. I DARE YOU.

ok the next person i can immediately peg (ha) is jjong. that man gives me classique warped tour vibes. I’m talking early 00s rock. Taking Back Sunday, Thursday. That vibe. Not screamo. Not metal. but not quite emo. More life than brand new. Solid like young people rock. lead guitarist. obviously. backup/secondary vocal. maybe even lead. That era. (i hope yk what im talking about lmao. rock is my shit. I just saw taking back sunday open for mcr in like nov and ive seen geoff from thursday open for frank iero (quick sidebar thats fun that they both were with mcr/mcr members ha) but yeah im getting Specific. and it’s not a lot of current shit. we goin Back a bit,)

Hongjoong is obviously muse/linkin park. the theatrics of muse. the intricacies. the showmanship. That man is Built for it. I saw muse a few years ago and they had a blimp flying over the audience. you know the next time i saw smthn like that? ateez’s rhythm ta performance on kingdom. Coincidence? yeah. but it MEANS something to me. muse is in his VEINS. BUT the linkin park comes in w the like kinda rap. like linkin park had some kinda rap. joong would prob do real rap. literally just his solo lil cover songs like its all there babey. ateez is essentially already what he would do on his own bc he is so involved in the creative process but idk, the muse vibes exist. a cool hybrid between the two.

The other ones didn’t get like fleshed out immediately and my brain is mushyymushy rn like whoooo im more drunk than i thought this is pure stream of consciousness rn so i couldnt truly tell you about the rest. most of them didnt have obvious rock counterparts i suppose. idols are lowkey weaksauce most of the time. like punk to me is dead kennedys that type of shit. they type where u tell the govt to fucking shove it and call reagan hitler and scream and bash shit. idols, by nature, don’t get to do that. and the type of people who become idols are probably not the type to do that. except hongjoong. hongjoong and suga are like the most outspoken mfs about that. i respect them so much. they pussy poppin on that punk attitude in an industry that expects perfection and obedience. they get their dicks sucked for that one fr.

#mailbox💌#Anon #sorry its Like This.#i have had. 5 relatively strong drinks tonight with no dinner.#this is. i guess what you get bc i decided that it had to be answered asap

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snekjoy · 2 years

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obsessed with this swing band my dad took me to yesterday

main guy is this cartoonishly excited guy in suspenders and a tshirt whos jumping around and shouting and having the time of his life.

double bassist is White Guy with Round Glasses, wilbur soot/the guy from atlantis type, straight face the whole time

drummer is the dad from inside out mixed with howard stark, 100% wants to talk about his vintage car with you

guy on the??? i think it was a banjo??? is literally a hobbit, hes short and wearing a green jacket and brown pants and PLAYING A BANJO convinced he stores his banjo in a wooden chest in his hobbit hole

and rory from doctor who learned the keyboard and accordion, grew a beard and is now in a geordie swing band

#theyre called rob heron and the teapad orchestra if youre curious #it was fun #my mum did a lot of dancing so she enjoyed it

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xoxo-bunnydumpling · 2 years

Text

I got to see my cousins today, well...not all of them because like every bonafide white trash superstar, I have a SHIT TON of cousins and mostly because we call everyone we like brother, sister, or cousin. But the three girls, the sisters, the ones that are closest to me in age...the trifecta. Those three girls, let me tell you, are an experience.

The oldest "girl" (she's 37 but we can all still be girls if we want)...it's honestly her fault I was born. No listen...my mother held my newborn cousin in the hospital the day after she was born and decided she wanted one of those. She talked my bio dad into it and the rest is history. When she saw our car pull up in my aunt's driveway, she screamed so loud I could hear her with my window down. Her middle sister was standing next to her on the porch, not paying attention, and got whapped in the arm and made to look and then she started screaming too. The youngest...has a devilish grin on her face and I find out later that she was the only one who knew we were coming and just kept it a secret. Bless her for that.

So I get out of the car first and get squeezed and lightly pinched and lovingly picked on, and when Eli gets out they all just stare at him until the youngest exclaims "fuck a DUCK, you're tall as hell."

Tallness is not an attribute of ours. We're a little leprechaun family and none of us get over 5'9". There is, essentially, a giant in the shire now and they are all beside themselves.

As it turns out...this isn't just a drive by. They have a going away party planned for my grandparents and that's just so sweet of them I can't even. I feel a little bit like I'm stealing them...they say California is a madhouse and they want out but they really started cooking with gas when I told them about the baby. They were just bitching before, like old folks do, and then they started mentioning how much of Red's life they missed already, how they'd never met my niece, and now my second child was coming next year. The three girls took great care of them while I was gone, always there when they needed something, came to just visit and hang out often. I shouldn't feel bad but I do.

"How many rooms do you have at your house?" My youngest cousin asks me.

"Spare rooms? None now, but you can sleep with the baby if you want."

"For real? Like...I can actually come?"

I thought that had been a given this whole time, but maybe the fact that none of them ever made the trip means I should have been more specific about it just being an open invitation the last 13 years. So I make an announcement.

"I should have specified before but if any of you ever want to come out, we would be happy to have you. Please let's not let another 13 years go by."

We have a family friend, that has been in the family since before I was. Used to be in a band with my grandpa in the 70s. We call him Uncle Harley even though his name is Delmer and the older he gets the more he looks like Willie Nelson. He comments first.

"I guess I'll come if you take me to Waffle House. Denny's just doesn't have the ambiance I'm after."

He is not the only former band member in attendance and as such the party is a little wild. There's lots of beer, a row of guitar cases, and a drum set in the living room. They make me play drums a while and I'm extremely rusty but I rumble through some country bar standards while Eli watches with his eyebrow up. Seems I forgot to mention my stint as their precocious preteen drummer...any time they played a place that didn't serve booze, which wasn't extremely often. When my set is over, Uncle Harley tells me what he always did every time I played with them..."sure do wish I had a bucket of tomatoes." Gotta keep the future rockstars of America humble, lest they get too big for their britches.

My grandparents decided they wanted to stay at my aunt's for the night, and left us with their keys to the house. When I suggest we do some packing in their absence, Eli presents a counter offer.

"We could...just not do anything else tonight. In N Out is still open, we could stop there on the way back."

So we sat on the deck with a candle between us, all the lights in the house turned off. He pulls my feet into his lap and kneads at them gently...they are puffy of course. Neither of us says a whole lot and I think about everything and nothing. Past and future. Quasars and black holes and being very very small. Our eyes imagine a variety of things as we stare off into the distance...Jackrabbits, kit foxes, aliens. Anything seems possible. Crazy shit happens in the desert.

#moving #going away party #end of an era #desert life #like a dream

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earlgreytea68 · 3 years

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How's pete genius? Unleashed your thoughts please, I want to hear them as well.

haha WELL

The person I was talking to was speaking from a musical perspective, and I’m not really going to ever win an argument, I don’t think, that Pete’s some kind of bass-playing prodigy, because he knows that he’s not. And the person I was talking to was saying something about, like, Pete Wentz’s mediocrity as a musician and yet him being in a successful rock band and I think that the person’s point was something about the fickleness of fame and success, which I don’t *entirely* disagree with.

But.

I think in Pete Wentz’s case, like, the more I read about and learned about Pete Wentz, the more I became convinced that he wasn’t some guy who happy-go-luckily stumbled upward into fantastic success, and I think that narrative about him is wrong. There’s a way in which it connects back to that whole “boy band” idea of devaluing what “girls” like, you know: Well, Pete Wentz is a good-looking guy and girls went crazy for him so he can’t be that good or smart, he’s just got pretty eyes and a nice smile and hot tattoos. But there’s also a way in which the dominance of “aw shucks it’s all dumb luck” narrative is a strategy in and of itself, letting people underestimate you. But anyway, I’m babbling. What I said to the person that night was:

Pete Wentz might not be a musical prodigy, but Pete Wentz is absolutely a genius. It takes a genius to come up with the strategy Pete did and then to execute it as perfectly as he did: to get their band together, to get their band noticed, to get their band signed. There’s a line in that (otherwise weird) autobiography where someone has a quote about Pete where he used to go around the Chicago scene talking about Fall Out Boy like it was going to be a huge band and that, the way he was about the band, everyone believed him. (Here is a video that talks through Pete’s strategy in a lot more detail.)

Pete talks in interviews about building their fanbase from the ground up, and this is when the internet was still so new that it wasn’t like everyone out there had a Twitter or a TikTok to gain views. What Pete Wentz had was a literal LiveJournal, because he’s got a fannish personality at heart, and that fannish personality meant that he understood what it means for a band to talk to its fans, and the rabbit hole of Pete Wentz’s early interactions with the fans on the FOB message boards was the original thing I loved most about him, when I discovered them on my first day of Googling who Pete Wentz was. There he is just sitting there patiently responding to people writing about their grandmothers dying and their boyfriends breaking up with them, and I’m not saying he’s not a nice guy who genuinely cares about people, but I’m also pretty sure he was performing the emotional labor of building those interactions with an eye on his prize.

Now did he or does he get everything in his life 100% right? No, of course not. But he is an incredibly smart person who was incredibly focused about a very particular ambition at the perfect point in time for him to make it work. He didn’t fall into success, he worked really, single-mindedly, determinedly hard at it. Patrick says somewhere that he’s got to keep an eye on Pete because if he turns away for a second, Pete’s made a million decisions that are going to affect the band for the next five years. Patrick has said somewhere else that the thing that most defines Fall Out Boy is Pete’s taste, which is an unsurprising revelation, as Pete’s been shaping their future for them since the very beginning. One of my very favorite little Fall Out Boy details is that it was Pete who registered their trademark for them originally, with his old AOL email address as the contact, and this is both adorable to me and also so smart, he did it SO EARLY.

And then he did exactly what he should have done and transferred it to the band’s LLC when they were big enough to get one, which warms my heart.

Pete is very clearly a writer, and I could have talked about that, about how he obviously writes compulsively in that way of people who need words. I could have talked about how he’s been a writer his whole life, how his dad has talked about how important books are to him and how he was writing his own in elementary school. I could have talked about what a *good* writer he is, too, how his lyrics are densely packed with layers of meaning.

But Pete didn’t just write books in elementary school: he also went around selling them door to door. His entrepreneurial streak has always been there. He understands marketing and thinks about it deeply. He is, as he proclaimed once in an interview, not stupid.

In the end, though, here’s how you know Pete Wentz is a genius: He met this teenage drummer who *was* a musical prodigy, and he saw immediately what he had stumbled onto and he held on tight. Meeting Patrick Stump was luck. Convincing Patrick Stump to sing in his band, that was Pete’s first act of genius.

#peterick #pete wentz #fall out boy #long post #fob

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real-life-cryptid · 3 years

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i would like to know about your music industry au please i'm begging you

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE. LONG POST AHEAD.

ok so this is a. ranpoe-centric au because i. that is my whole identity. i only produce ranpoe content. so the main plot of the au revolves around ranpo and poe and their relationship as stars of the music industry under the spotlight

---

[BACKGROUND KNOWLEDGE]

the organizations here are all labels / production agencies that the characters happen to work under depending on their affiliation, and the heads of the organizations are the producers that the characters are signed under (ie; ranpo is signed to fukuzawa's agency as a solo jpop idol)

a lot of the plot before My plot parallels the actual bsd plot up until the guild arc but converted into something music industry related (atsushi getting kidnapped and rescued 500 times in canon is turned into the agency and port mafia battling over who will sign indie singer atsushi to their label first in au,)

some characters sing solo, others are in a band. none of this is based off the actual band mayoi cards (though those are very cool and i love them to death)

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[ORGANIZATIONS]

THE AGENCY: one of the most famous labels in japan, specializes in producing jpop/jrock/indie musicians. one of its famous associated bands is "moonlitdreams", a bedroom pop band made up of nakajima atsushi (lead singer), izumi kyouka (backing vocals / songwriter), and miyazawa kenji (instrumental)

THE PORT MAFIA: nicknamed the "Port Mafia" for its strict contract, suspected corruption, and harsh treatment of its stars. specializes in jrock / rap. its primary claim to fame is the creation of "Double Black", the jrock band that keeps topping the charts... despite dazai's departure from the band and the Port Mafia label as a whole.

THE GUILD: nicknamed the guild for its exclusivity, it takes in talented singers from all sorts of genres, from punk rock to... erm. religious ska. its publicity contract is notoriously strict, and being seen acting outside of it is enough to get you kicked off the label, no matter your talent. hailing from here is the pop punk band "The Living Dolls", made up of lucy maud montgomery (lead singer / guitarist) and mark twain (drummer / background vocals). formerly, edgar allen poe was their background vocalist and songwriter, but he left the band for unspecified reasons.

---

[IMPORTANT CHARACTERS TO THE AU]

pspspspp just ask if you want to know about other characters ;) real life artists that produce similar music to what i think they would produce in the au will be listed in italics after the description

edogawa ranpo - jpop / alternative / pop rock singer. his adoptive dad, fukuzawa, runs the Agency, so he's often accused of gaining fame due to nepotism. in truth, the Agency was created for him and his talents, so the nepotism charge is very unfounded. he's a musical prodigy, able to master almost every instrument he lays his fingers on, but the reason for his minor fame despite all of his talents is that he is .... awful at publicity. though he is a likeable public figure, he does not hesitate on being bluntly honest even if it will ruin his reputation. get this man away from talk shows.

(artists: polkadot stingray, necry talkie, kero kero bonito)

edgar allan poe - gothic rock / dark cabaret / pop punk singer. released solo albums along with being a part of "The Living Dolls" up until six years ago. his last public appearance was guest-starring on an international singing competition with ranpo, who openly criticized his work, and then he disappeared for good from the public eye by announcing an indefinite hiatus. just before his hiatus, he posted a twitter statement claiming that his break was "for mental health reasons", but it's widely speculated that it had something to do with the singing competition. despite his total radio silence, his music is incredibly popular among certain circles (goths and emos) and they anticipate any signs of him coming back from hiatus.

(artists: thoushaltnot, shayfer james, ludo)

lucy maud montgomery - pop punk singer and the lead of "The Living Dolls", she's most known for her crazy vocal range and tendency to produce awesome breakup songs (despite never having had a known relationship). she struggles a lot with the Guild publicity contract, having been put on probation multiple times for letting her temper get the best of her while interacting with the paparazzi. she desperately wants poe to come out of hiatus-- not even to rejoin the band, but simply because she's worried for him.

(artists: the regrettes, paramore, avril lavigne)

akiko yosano - pop singer who produces exclusively hit singles. redefining what it means to be a female singer in japan, she rejects the idol persona most singers take on and finds inspiration in american pop and a femme fatale image. all of her songs are incredibly #girlboss. good for her. ranpo's foster sister and best friend, she coaches him through most public interaction with the media so that he doesn't ruin his reputation permanently. she is ranpo's de facto manager / advisor.

(artists: beyonce, the spice girls, gwen stefani)

---

[PLOT]

hoping to cooperate with an american label, fukuzawa makes an agreement with fitzgerald to send one of his artists over to America to collaborate with a Guild artist. fitzgerald is actually not very keen on cooperating, because he plans on buying out the Agency anyways, but for pretense he agrees.

the artist that's sent over is none other than ranpo-- and the singer he is sent to collaborate with is none other than poe, who is really not happy to see him for some reason. ranpo and poe's first meeting was on a singing competition, like the voice, and long story short poe got embarrassed on live tv so hard by ranpo that he took a 6 year hiatus from music LMFAO. and now he is permanently bitter and also refuses to produce music. which is actually why fitz set the two of them up together anyways: he doesn't really want to cooperate w/ ranpo's label, so he steered ranpo towards the One artist he employs that doesn't make music anymore to be like ohhh nooo u aren't making songs what a shame. back to japan u go.

of course ranpo doesn't remember indirectly driving poe to his 6 yr hiatus, he just remembers giving ~constructive criticism~ and then. not seeing poe for the rest of the show ever. ehehehe. maybe he should've guessed but urrr. its a rough start on the collab because poe simultaneously refuses to talk to ranpo, work, or let ranpo work. they butt heads w/ working together because poe is so capricious and keeps fluctuating between "i dont want to do this" and "stop doing it yourself you'll mess up". even in terms of genre, they clash-- poe's goth ass lyrics don't mesh at all with the upbeat instrumental of ranpo's music.

because of this, they're constantly at each other's throats. even as ranpo repeatedly tells poe "i don't want to fight with you, i respect you as an artist", poe can only focus on the way ranpo insulted him 6 years ago and hates that ranpo is acting like it never happened n trying to be nice to him (not an act btw ranpo legitimately does not remember what happened). this all leads up to a huge argument where poe finally voices the actual problem he has w ranpo about the singing competition 6 yrs ago instead of being passive aggressive about it and ranpo is like "What. That's Not How I Remember It." and they start piecing together the misunderstandings.

ranpo apologizes which is really rare for him so 👍 and says that it's what he thinks now of poe that matters and despite all of the fights they've been through, ranpo admires poe and can see the other's talent for songwriting. this flips a switch in poe's brain in where he realizes that the reason he was so emotionally distraught after the singing competition incident was not only because of the public humiliation of getting called out on live tv, but also because he liked ranpo and ranpo's criticism felt like rejection which he physically could not deal with so he channeled that into being angry. he does not voice this because its a realization he just doesn't want to deal with so. repression ❤️❤️

over the course of working on the collab album together, they gradually grow a quiet respect for the other. they live together in poe's studio apartment because ranpo Could find a hotel but it's easier to work together when you're in close proximity. they learn the little things about each other that make it hard to really truly despise the other person -- ranpo's sweet tooth, poe's doting affection for his pet raccoon karl. their relationship becomes less strained and more amicable. ranpoe domestic era.

poe starts avidly writing songs of his own again, and he'll never admit it, but the muse for his newer songs is always ranpo. he's kind of Down Horrendous but he refuses to acknowledge it. not even when confronted with the literal love song he wrote about ranpo. ranpo of course is Very Aware that these songs are based off him but he never says anything about it because 1) he's already ruined their relationship once by humiliating poe. he will not do it Again by asking if these songs are about him. and 2) he enjoys looking over poe's lyric drafts because it feels like a personal love letter to him (which it basically is since this is the only way poe feels comfortable expressing his feelings about ranpo) and 3) he's been Down Horrendous for poe ever since they met 6 yrs ago (though his feelings faded a little when poe was being a passive aggressive dick to him) so its nice to see poe catch up.

they finish their album, and on the night of its official release, they get extremely drunk together in their own little celebration party. ranpo can hold his alcohol because all he ever drinks is fruity little cocktails that actually get you drunk so fast so he's built a Tolerance. poe however has an alcohol sensitivity and so he can get white girl wasted after only a glass of wine. so the situation is that ranpo is only a little drunk while poe is fucking GONE.

ranpo suggests that they take a little walk outside in a nearby park so as to sober up poe a little n while they sit on a bench, poe drunkenly kisses ranpo n confesses his feelings. ranpo can't help but get a little flustered but ultimately he is like "yes yes i know i like you too but you are going to be soo mad when you wake up and realize you've confessed while wasted so you can tell me again when you're sober". n poe goes YOU LIKE ME TOO???? why is he so surprised. after that revelation poe cannot keep his hands off of ranpo because now he knows hes Allowed to want ranpo in this way so even with ranpo halfheartedly resisting in consideration of sober poe's feelings, ranpo gives in to poe and ermm. long story short they get very caught up in each other to the point of being totally unaware that the paparazzi now has a photo of them making out at the door of poe's apartment.

the next morning, poe wakes up to a really bad hangover, his phone blowing up with panicked text messages from lucy and twain with links to different gossip articles + too many twitter notifications, 25 missed calls from fitzgerald, and a sleeping ranpo in his bed. and he completely panics. not only did he obviously make a Very Public move on ranpo, someone he would rather confide his feelings to in private, but he also violated fitzgerald's publicity contract And accidentally "confirmed" the rumors of him n ranpo being in a relationship so now his twitter mentions are clogged as FUCK.

so in his panic he books the next one-way flight to yokohama in ranpo's name, shakes ranpo awake, and tells him that he has to go back to japan. after all, the contract is over, they've released the album. no more reason for the other to stay. poe tries to distance himself from ranpo so it'll hurt less when he leaves. insists that everything was all business and that last night was nothing more than a slipup so really, ranpo should start packing. ranpo doesn't understand poe's panic bc he doesn't care at all about the paparazzi or publicity in general and instead gets a little mad that poe would call what they had "business" because even Before they kissed it had Never been business, not even once, so for poe to say that it was. hurts more than he'd like to admit.

they get into a big argument and it ends with ranpo slamming the door in poe's face n leaving with the plane ticket. once ranpo leaves, poe tries to defuse the situation on social media and appease fitzgerald but everything he does once ranpo is gone feels kinda hollow. technically poe won the argument by getting ranpo to fly back to japan where he'll probably forget the other but. does not feel like hes won at all. ranpo has a few days before his flight so he's staying at a hotel and all the while poe is agonizing over his decision and moping around. he decides he'd rather endure all the gossip and have ranpo by his side than not have ranpo in his life anymore, but he can't find a way to Tell ranpo this. lucy gets very tired of poe venting all of his relationship problems at her so on the morning of the flight she pulls up to poe's apartment in her red cadillac and is like "get in loser. we're chasing down your man before he leaves so you can get your shit together." poe has no choice but to get in the car. lucy has a metal bat and he is weak willed and missing ranpo.

they pull up to the airport and catch ranpo before he boards the flight. yosano has been doing her own work as a ranpoe wingman by delaying the flight and talking with ranpo about poe's point of view of this whole situation so now ranpo is less mad and more guilty that he lashed out while poe was in emotional distress. poe apologizes for his harsh words and says he doesn't want to force ranpo to stay with him, but he'd like to pursue a relationship outside of work even if it means losing his contract at the Guild. ranpo in turn also apologizes for losing his temper, and says that poe was right before. he kind of Has to return to yokohama now so he can't stay in america. poe visibly deflates at that before ranpo says "but. nobody said you couldn't follow me to yokohama." with a sly grin. they kiss in the middle of the airport and lucy + yosano are blissfully free from the roles of wingwomen for two stupid gay men. the enddd ❤️

#bungou stray dogs #edgar allen poe bsd #ranpo edogawa #ranpoe #lucy maud montgomery bsd #yosano akiko #bsd #bsd au #bsd music industry au #jamie stop talking #oh my god this post is so long. i am so sorry.#please forgive me for the lack of line breaks or page continues i have no idea how to do that on mobile

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