#part of me is like yeah there’s stuff that sucks. but also this is where I’m meant to be and I’m having a good time

[tgmsunmontue]

Online & Anonymous 3/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

Odd year = Bradely's POV and Even year = Jake's POV

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007

2008 – Jake

                Flight school.

                Four years at USNA and now he’s back in Texas, the familiarity seeping into him like a homecoming and part of him cannot believe he made it into flight school. Not that he’ll let anyone else think he had any doubt, but he is inwardly fist pumping, outwardly trying to pretend it’s no big deal. He doesn’t care if it comes off smug, he does feel a little smug, that he obviously good enough to have been selected. Damn it feels good. And also such a relief.

                He’s good enough.

                He wants to share it with Nick. Doesn’t of course. While he trusts Nick with pretty much every little piece of vulnerability when it’s related to his sexuality and experience in that arena, his career is shaping up to be another huge part of his identity and he doesn’t need help or guidance from a guy on a website on how to best work on this aspect of his life. He feels like he’s got this one. After a few months though he decides to share, in a vague way, because he’s been getting comments from his instructors.

                Approval.

                He’s doing well.

>>You ever accomplish something that people didn’t think you could do?

>>That even you maybe didn’t think you could do?

>>HA.

>>Yes.

>>Feels fucking amazing to prove them wrong.

                Jake grins at the screen, wants to tell him about how amazing it is, being in the air. How much he loves it, the rush of the pressure pushing him back into the seat as he takes off. The

>>I got into my first choice of programme. So yeah.

>>Does feel pretty good.

>>Well done. Proud of you.

>>Thanks.

>>Think you maybe need to believe in yourself more.

>>Maybe.

>>My parents didn’t.

>>Don’t.

                He hasn’t talked about his parents with Nick. Talking about your parents generally doesn’t come up when your jerking off with another guy online, but they talk about a lot of different stuff now and it fits with this right now. He feels like Nick might get it.

>>I came out to them and they kicked me out.

>>Oh shit. I’m sorry.

>>I mean, it’s not a competition but my parents are dead so I can understand that feeling of loss I guess? Like they should be around to support me, but they aren’t.

>>Sucks more for you I think. They’re alive and are just bigots.

>>I was lucky to already have a place to go.

>>I’m extra proud of you.

                Pensacola is a different beast than boat school, everyone seems to be a little smug that they made the cut to be there, and Jake lets himself absorb the culture. He tries sleeping with a woman only to find that he can apparently have worse sexual experiences than his first time with a man, and of course he finds himself messaging Nick.

>>Bad sex with a man is still preferable than bad sex with a woman.

>>You give in to peer pressure and hook up huh?

>>How did you know?

>>Been there, done that. Got the tshirt.

>>As a gay man I have to tell you that even bad sex with a man rates above mediocre sex with a woman.

>>Why do people care so much where you want to stick your dick?

>>I like that rhyme. And I have no fucking clue. Mystery. It’s not like gay people haven’t always existed.

>>I’ve got a friend, female friend, who knows I’m gay, and she let’s me use her as a beard sometimes. Everyone thinks we have an on-again off-again fuck-buddies type thing going on.

>>So you’re still not out to people.

>>Nope. Would make work impossible so I just –

>>Hide in plain sight.

>>Huh. I wonder if I could get one of my friends to cover for me.

>>A lot less women in the military. Good luck I guess?

>>Well. I think one of my friends might just lie for me. Tell others that he saw me leaving with a hot chick or something. He’s the best wingman.

                He stares at the message, wishes he could call it back.

                Delete it.

                It’s too close to home.

                Wingman.

>>Definitely need a good wingman if you’re planning on cruising. You got bigger balls then me if you’re going to try and do it while you’re not on leave.

>>Are you sure that’s safe?

>>It’s not like they’re following me and putting cameras in rooms. I just need to be careful. Although so not worth it most of the time. But it would be kind of nice to have the option if it did present itself.

>>Yeah, I’m sure guys are just falling into your lap in the military.

>>I mean, they might be and I’m just not picking up the signs. They’re probably so repressed they wouldn’t be any good anyway.

>>I’ll leave that for you to find out.

>>Not sure if I should be wishing you luck or telling you to be careful.

                Jake isn’t sure either. He probably not going to risk it.

…            …            …

                It’s not always possible for them to have instant communication. He gets interrupted sometimes, or Nick isn’t available for days at a time, sometimes weeks, and his own schedule is erratic. However he’s always had time, made time, to chat with him since they found each other and he doesn’t have so many close friends that he can afford to ignore one.

                “What are you always doing on your laptop?” Javy asks and Jake feels like time freezes around him for a split second. Javy is one of the few people he’d count as a friend, his easy-going nature dealing with Jake’s prickliness effortlessly, seemingly patient and just waiting for Jake to come around. They were at USNA together and it wasn’t until they shared all their third- and second-class summers together that Jake had thought that maybe they could be friends.

                “Talking with a friend. He travels a lot.”

                He feels like it’s not actually a stretch of the truth, because he’s figured out that Nick moves around, the times he can talk inconsistent, meaning different times zones. He’s always assumed that Nick is American, but now he knows that the website they’re using to chat is actually based in England, and for all he knows Nick could be anywhere in the world.

>>Are you American?

>>Will you stop talking to me if I say no?

>>Of course not.

>>I’m shaking my head at you. You’re meant to be all patriotic being a member of our military. Shouldn’t be communicating with the enemy.

>>You just called it our military. Pretty sure you’re American.

>>Caught out. Yeah. I travelled around a lot as a kid. Tennessee, California, Virginia, Maryland and even Texas. Who knows, we could have walked past each other and never even known.

>>Yeah. We could have. That would be a weird coincidence.

                “You know, if you ever want to tell me something, I’m pretty good at keeping secrets.”

                Jake’s head snaps up so fast he’s surprised there isn’t an accompanying sound.

                “What?”

                “Just. Uh. I know if there was something, you can’t tell me. But if you did, and I’m not asking you to, but if you did, I wouldn’t be letting anyone else know. No telling on my part, that is.”

                He blinks.

                Holy shit.

                That’s pretty much Javy saying he knows, or at least suspects, that Jake is… something other than straight.

                “Just, once second. Just let me say bye…”

>>I think I’m about to come out to a guy who is my best friend in real life, because you’re my best friend in not-real life, plus we have sex and I do not want to ever have sex with J, but uh… I think I might be sick.

>>I’ll talk to you soon.

                His conversation with Javy goes around in circles for a little bit, Javy not willing to ask outright, and Jake unprepared to speak the truth; terrified to voice it. Then Javy gets fed up, places his hands on Jake’s shoulders and just stares at him, expression serious.

                “Jake. You’re the closest thing I have to a brother. There is nothing, nothing,” he stresses, “that would make me stop loving you as my brother and best friend. So, if in some hypothetical world you felt brave enough to tell me that you were… gay, then it wouldn’t change anything for me. I just. I got your back no matter what okay?”

                Jake can’t form words, grabs Javy into a tight hug, he’s biting his lip so hard it hurts, might even be drawing blood and he nods.

                “Thank you.”

                “Any time man. You want to go shoot some pool?”

                Jake lets out a shaky breath and nods again.

                They spend several hours together, in which Javy seems to want to really impress upon Jake that nothing is going to change between them. He still uses his body to shove Jake out of the way when he shows Javy up at pool, still slaps his ass in a vain attempt to distract him while playing darts, grabs them beers and doesn’t pull his fingers away when they accidentally brush like Jake is somehow going to take that as a sign of something more. He can have friends that know and they won’t hate him.

                It’s a revelation.

…            …            …

>>How did it go?

>>I’m kind of worried about you.

>>Hope you haven’t done anything stupid.

>>Or been beaten up.

>>Dishonorable discharge.

>>Fuck Jas, please tell me you’re okay.

                Jake stares at the flood of messages and feels touched, but also a little hysterical, because none of those worse case scenarios are going to happen. He trusts Javy with his life, he can definitely trust him with knowing.

>>I’m okay. Sorry.

>>It was fine. He had pretty much guessed and we talked about it. He’s the best.

>>After you.

>>Glad to know I haven’t been replaced.

>>I appreciated you for the orgasms.

>>Oh. Okay. Putting me back in my place.

>>Prefer you to put me in my place.

>>Really now? You in the mood huh?

>>Yeah.

>>Fuck. This is awful timing. I’ve got to leave in like five minutes.

>>Can’t take care of you like I want to.

>>That’s okay. You can go out and do what you need to do, and while you’re out you can think about me, jerking off as I type out what I want to do to you.

>>Unfair.

>>Hot though.

>>Shit. I’ve really got to go. I look forward to reading whatever you leave me.

                Jake grins, a little nervous. He’s gotten better at this, anything he does regularly for a few years becomes better, but he doesn’t know if it’s good. Not without Nick offering his constant feedback. He always finds what they talk about together the best, but Nick has left him plenty of messages that are just descriptions of what he wants and likes that Jake wants to return the favor.

>>I want to go down on you, suck you off until you come. I want to kneel in front of you and take my time, learn the taste and smell of you. The texture of your skin under my tongue and fingers.

>>I want to do it while I’m in my uniform, because that feels taboo you know? Want you to rub the head of your dick over my lips.

>>Want you naked so I can touch everywhere.

>>I start off slow, a little cautious because I want you to fuck my face, but we’re going to need to build up to that, stretch out my mouth and throat a little, let me gets used to the feel of you in my mouth and throat.

>>I really want to do this. I’m hard just thinking about it. Like the idea of your hand on my head, just guiding me, think I’d enjoy fingernails scraping my head.

>>I want to do this with a guy with no condom, I want to taste the skin and salt. I want that trust as well.

>>I’d trust you.

#online and anonymous #Hangster #Sereshaw #hangman x rooster #Top Gun Maverick fanfic

[nextstopparis]

arthur pendragon + you must be courage.

mark twain / bbc merlin / courage vs. bravery / bbc merlin / franklin d. roosevelt / bbc merlin / bravery vs. courage / bbc merlin / lao tzu / bbc merlin / courage vs. bravery / bbc merlitn

#this. probably doesnt make sense #and that is bc it was a MISTAKE #i wasnt even gonna do this bc i promised myself no more web weaves!!! #yet here we fucking are #i also included some parts where arthur inspired courage #because to embody courage i think doesnt mean only to always be couragous but also to like. #exude it. in a way that wherever u go others follow and stuff #and arthur is very adept in inspiring courage #while i was watching the eps for these (which is where all the posts came from lolol) its also like. blindingly clear #how much arthur inspires courage in merlin. like it made me lose my mind #that whole ‘loving someone deeply gives you courage’ one? yeah #that quotes was made for them #no wonder arthur was courage. #also btw hes my most beloved ever<3 #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #with a SPRINKLE of merthur #sort of #web weaving #sorry if it sucks/makes no sense! idc!! #long post #omg

[presiding]

What is your favourite thing about Billie Lurk?

(Answers are obvious possibly but i love when people talk about her👍)

thanks for the ask!! YEAH ME TOO I love when people talk about Billie! I can't say I have a favourite thing specifically, but I can explain why she's my fav. apologies for not taking this qn literally, but -

short answer: she’s really cool

& you can stop reading there, or, for the maybe 2 mutuals who might have time to read this my thoughts on her as a character, her meta, and her character as raw potential...

long answer:

i considered making this entire thing a gush so you could read a gush about Billie. but, part of what draws me to her is that she’s not always well written, and in fandom she’s underrated for a literal protagonist.

since you ask...

billie is a cool character

when I played Dh2 (hadn't played Dh1), I was excited to see a black woman with disabilities who was captaining a massive ship by herself. wow.

then I discovered Billie’s backstory with Deirdre, the way she responded to that, then having to survive while living on the run, and her bisexuality. as well as her history with daud & delilah. fascinating!

she’s an outsider who has so much to lose, and knows what it's like to lose everything - having lost everything not once but three times - but nevertheless speaks truth to power. she's so brave! she went and helped Emily & Corvo and she must have known they might kill her! plus, she’s smart, she’s funny, she gets shit done, she’s gorgeous.

but... the meta

mild critique of fandom & arkane incoming.

skip this bit if you want - you've been warned twice now - jump to tired Hayao Miyazaki and read from there if you'd like my thoughts on writing her.

i thought Death of the Outsider was going to be amazing and then... well. *sad trombone* i've written about that before so i won't keep banging on. i figured others must be disappointed too, so I joined a few fandom spaces in hopes of finding camaraderie.

most people with complaints about DotO didn’t like how the Outsider and Daud were handled. which is valid & I agree. but it seemed like most paid no attention to Billie; when people talk about her it’s with respect to Daud, as opposed to in her own right. you could argue for fandom misogyny because people don’t talk about adult Emily Kaldwin that much either, but in Billie's case, it’s misogynoir (compare & contrast with the popularity of thomas, particularly the popularity of thomas portrayed as a white man for no particular reason that i've been able to discern - i keep asking around, is it in the books???).

i think this is a LOT better now than it used to be, which is fantastic. or perhaps i have found the correct echo-chamber? ha.

ultimately, The Fandom is a fraction of the entire picture, and not even the important bit since The Fandom is not who these games are made for. you can't make money relying on only your hardcore fans even if all of them spent a fortune on merch, this is true for any AAA game.

while it's true that Billie is underrated from a fandom perspective - but Billie as an underwritten protagonist is squarely Arkane’s fault.

it was reasonable when she was a side character - the lack of info in Dh2 makes perfect sense (if anything there was more lore in Dh2 which is kind of wild)-

- but as a protagonist in Death of the Outsider?

.... there’s lousy writing, and there’s whatever is going on with Billie Lurk, a black woman who mostly exists as a foil or saviour for light-skinned characters. In her own game there’s barely any of her own lore except where it's relevant to saving two dudes.

lore hints at, but barely touches on what race means in the Dh universe (xenophobia is stronger in Dh1; separate essay i guess), but Arkane has patted themselves on the back for portraying non-white characters, which feels like the same thing as the aesthetic of diversity we're seeing in advertising currently because it’s in marketing trend guides. it's self-congratulatory and it's a missed opportunity for deeper storytelling.

you can see an example of diversity at its most shallow in the way that Billie’s written: there’s little engagement with her as an entire person with history & wants & preferences, and the world she walks through in that game feels like it has nothing to do with her. you could make a case for alienation as a theme, but then, how do you handle the titular premise of 'Dishonored' without ever letting Billie make changes in an environment without a chaos system? it's disappointing from that angle too.

in my opinion, whatever it's worth, it was an accident Arkane created such an awesome character - they needed someone to betray daud. congrats billie.

all this said, it makes her an underdog as far as characters to enjoy & create art & stories for. it's nice to find so many like-minded, switched on people! <3

billie's character potential

she’s got a wealth of unexplored lore, being deeply intertwined with both Karnaca & Dunwall’s fates & criminal underbellies, as well as her connections to the witches & whalers, and three Empresses.

she’s lived a few distinct lifetimes and in the games we get to meet her at two peaks (KoD & DotO) & a low (Dh2 as Meagan).

her voice is very distinct, her dry & often dark humour is entertaining & fun to write. her perspective is really interesting - she’s had the widest variety of void-powers of anyone canonically, and she’s also lived through the highest highs and lowest lows.

she's got everything going for her :) i couldn't really pick a fav thing!

#i assume my followers are cool enough to let me give a brief measured critique on fandom trends and DotO #thanks for the anon question!! what fun! #i love billie lurk <333 #jumped on the opportunity to rant n rave #what part of billie isn't my fav! (im a guy who likes the bad stuff too. mmm interesting meta) #trying to be not unfair or mean- i'm not targeting anyone but rather trends. and it's ok to be disappointed with something you love #fuck it. make it part of the appeal! her writing sucks! plenty of room for me & other creators! #its easier for me to indulge my billie brainworms when it sorta feels like she's not getting as much love as she deserves #you know? i want stories where her history is explored and her agency is important so i guess i'll roll up my sleeves #tumblr is a terrible place for this sort of critique IMO- lots of nuanceless empathy-free guilt-trip-ish rhetoric #so i hope i avoided that. but not so much that i seem forgiving. #that said i'm not tagging this one with fandom tags! no thank you. #i am blaming arkane yes. but that is also not without games industry context #i could complain about amateurish writing but that also never happens in a vacuum. industry problem(s) for sure. #people love to blame writers for things #and yeah a couple really fucking good writers can push a boulder uphill #but its usually a company problem #hire lots of diverse people in your company. give them authority and respect and reasonable workloads. and no crunch. #ah fuck this is a separate essay in tags. again #THIS WAS A SIMPLE QUESTION #*clutches head in hands* #uh if you're still reading at this point im SO sorry and thank you and i love you

[justanotherfanartist]

.

#back on my super personal posting bs #last basketball game for the band tonight #augh and misery but at least it’s at Cool Big Semi Circle. Two hour drive at least tho. sigh. #if u from my state you know what I mean. actually wtv it’s obvious idfk Tacoma Dome moment lmaooo #man. last thing of band for the whole year kinda sucks ngl #our band is fucked don’t get me wrong but a part of me still loves it with a lot less cynicism than most of my friends n other band kids do #part of me is like yeah there’s stuff that sucks. but also this is where I’m meant to be and I’m having a good time #the reality is that our director sucks our band sucks nobody practices and we don’t really play well #but in my head #I’m doing well #i practice. a lot. because I like it #All my friends are here #I’m doing what my dad did in Highschool and being like him makes me really happy #which is especially why I’m switching to drumline next year to hopefully be on snare #I’m actually gonna kill myself if I get cymbals i fucking HATE cymbals I will fight my Director on this actually so hard #cus I don’t know shit about percussion #but my dad is a drummer and so is one of my senior friends who is sticking around after they graduate this year #and they’ve both agreed to teach me over the summer #so I’m gonna go fucking crazy hard into practicing so I can do percussion ensemble next year and do drumline too #I’m literally gonna dig in my trenches and fight tooth and nail to get what I want #and I’ve never really done that before #It really feels like I’m determined to prove myself worth of being a snare #not cymbals #not bass #snare #I feel like I was kind of always meant for this; I’ve just been putting it off yknow? #I’m the child of two divorced music majors #my dad is a drummer who was in band his whole life #he loves it. he loves it so much. #my parents moved to New York to chase their dreams and become musicians

[seilon]

man im really fucking bad at hanging out with people no wonder i have like two friends

#sometimes it’s worse than usual and tonight was one of those times #I just. couldn’t get myself to be interested in doing anything they wanted to do #just was not having a good time and for no real reason #also every time they talk about stuff they do with other friends and whatever it hits unreasonably hard that oh yeah! I don’t have #other friends. like everyone else does. I don’t do anything or see anyone. I just obsess over a special interest and rot in my room #and it’s completely my own fault because I can’t fucking socialize #idk but anyway that’s just. a part of it. aside from that i was just. yeah not interested in anything #I wasn’t even tired or lethargic or anything like I usually am so it’s just a fucking waste of everyone’s time including mine #that I’m. like this #idk. I should drink a lot more next time. probably. #im more sociable and actually somewhat enjoyable to be around that way. sucks that it takes so fucking much to get me drunk lol #god I hate being like this I hate that social conditions have to be so specific or else my brain short circuits like this #I honestly think it was largely something to do with there being two people hanging out that usually aren’t there #even if they’re not new people to me or anything and they’re friends and all #I guess I was just kind of only in the headspace to hang out way more casually with the two main people I tend to be around the most #conveniently the two people who have played yakuza and aren’t as annoyed by me playing it or talking about it or whatever #I hate being so consumed by interests like this where I literally don’t want to talk about anything else basically #I wish I could actually infodump to my friends #but yeah . only one of them I sorta do that to and even that I’m just. idk I still feel like I can very easily be too much #there’s something very wrong with me #and now I’m gonna feel bad the rest of the week because that was my only shot at social interaction for the week. and now I’ll be in my room #being. the mentally ill husk of a person that I am the rest of the week. #woohoo #im going to split my skull open I hate this I hate being so bad at being a person #kibumblabs

[jessiesjaded]

Honestly, the most annoying part of fandom now for me personally is just that... I really don't need to know every detail of the thing I'm a fan of- not to say I don't love learning interesting little things but this obsession with knowing absolutely everything is so draining to me, especially private things. I don't need to know the director of the movie I enjoyed cheated on his wife once 20 years ago. I don't need to know that two actors had a fling once upon a time. I don't need to read every old interview from the guy who created the game I love just because I happen to love the thing he created, if you personally feel compelled to find out every last detail of every person involved in creating something, that's great for you! But please don't expect everyone else to be like that, too.

#idk i think you lose part of the xharm when you do that #and I know!! bc i used to be like that #used to find out every little detail and then i just stopped one day and yk what? #its better this way #being a fan of someone and finding stuff out about them is fine #but im at the point where im more distinctly a fan of the work than the person #idk it just irks me when people try to bring stuff up like... its not my buisness and i dont care #Of course if its something like a person bei g accused of abuse or harrassment etc then yeah i dont want to support them #i.e why i'll never listen to r kelly again #but just little random shit? yeah i dont need to k ow about it i dont want to know about it #its likely to taint shit for me so why would i want to #its like when someone just had to come tell me the voice actor of a character i liked 'cheated on his wife' #okay that sucks I feel bad for his wife i really do #but thats a private relationship issue???? #if she wants to blast him publicly than that'd be her right #im not involved tho #also funniest thing about that was the guy was actually in an open sort of marriage so like. who tf am i to judge whatever he and his wife #decided to live like ????? #like again if you told me he got convicted of punching a dog then id be like fuck that guy #but when its just random personal issues ????? why is this any of my business ??????? #like I knew everything about kstew once upon a time and now i only know bits and pieces #from when i catch an interview here or there #and i go Oh good to see she seems happier these days #and i leave it at that #idk theres too much information now and i dont want to hear it lol

[danielnelsen]

im reading all my old hwu fanfics oh god.. like i was a decent writer but some of the stuff i wrote smh......... and like.. the ships. or one in particular. had to write for the most popular ship if i wanted anyone to read anything i wrote but please know that i HATED it

#if you know then you know #i didnt write much multi-chapter fic (mostly bc i like to plan things too much in advance) but that was the longest fanfic i wrote #idk where i ever got up to with posting it but the doc on my computer is 26k words #13 chapters + 1 paragraph of chapter 14 #what a waste of my life lmao. like yeah im glad i wrote a lot for a few years there. definitely a good skill and some good practice #but yeesh #im sitting here reading it and it's from the LI's perspective (which i think was a great choice on my part lbr) #and im just like..........wtf are you doing you gross irresponsible adult man. like yeah danny's VERY stupid here but you're Much Worse #im also realising that danny is absolutely the precursor to my main hawke now. VERY similar personalities #personal #when i say i hated it.. it was fun to write because i enjoyed writing and i liked interpreting the existing dialogue we had in the quests #and turning it into an actual descriptive story. and i was good at it. i was good at writing characters and their feelings #i Really enjoyed writing that character. it just sucked that the ship was horrible and i felt like i had to pretend it wasnt #dethan was the actual good ship but - for all the talk i saw - people didnt actually read it #even the one fic i wrote with chris did waaay better (but tbf that's probably one of the best fics i ever wrote; the post-proposal one) #anyway. if im cringing while reading my old stuff it's not because it's badly written #it's because the way the characters behave already made me cringe when i wrote it lmao

[weirdfishy]

thinking about The Old Guard x Hob Gadling possibilities bc it Just Now dawned on me

#the fucking— like how would hob even find them. same job different contractors? #same job guy who gave hob the job thought he was dead and so sends TOG? #tog finds that hob is Alive & Also Can’t Die hob is just A Patient Person finding the long con is better for this than guns blazing #cue Confusion & *spiderman meme* and maybe even andy shooting hob #(which sucks for hob bc he Doesn’t Heal As Fast Damn It he just Doesn’t Die. thx andy now i’m out of commission) #tog finish the job but hob has to sit out (yeah just take his hard earned info gathering why don’tcha) #but man He’s Also Immortal Andy Can We Keep Him Please #hob joins their crew and things happen bc he doesn’t have the same heal factor as them. shit still works out and he becomes a part of their #team just like an attachable part. most times he’s there for the job others he’s not. joe & nicky give relationship advice #joe & nicky get the Tea on Hob’s Stranger and one of them has started a manuscript for a novel #Hob gets sent letters bc he has the most secure houses and stashes #eventually hob gets keys for all of them and they keep some of their knick knacks with his stuff #then hob is like ‘i’m out but if you rlly need me. yk where to find me’ #time skip hob forgot to tell them he and His Stranger are Married (andy knows a little bit about shrines & intent she laughs when she finds #out hob built a whole ass pub for His Stranger & shit #joe & nicky recommend honeymoon destinations (the two are gone for a whole day. dream took them to all of those places in the dreaming) #booker and hob are History Besties #& Art Besties #it’d be funny if Hob was the mf who killed Booker the first time #Hob & Nile get on like a house on fire (they actually did that- set a house on fire. were they in it? well. they were supposed to be) #hob gadling #the old guard #fishy’s bubbles #the sandman #this has wonderous crossover capabilities *heads to ao3* #no wait the hob and nile and hob and booker dynamics are switched #hob and booker are chaos demons while hob and nike are intellectuals

[david-watts]

I feel kinda bad about those comments I made on that one post because I was being a bit of a dick, and it was because I was tired and misunderstanding exactly why people get so mad about ‘tiktok punks’ (please just call them posers. that word already exists and means what you mean) but like. I do stand by the fact that I don’t care if people end up buying from ethically awful places since it’s not easy or affordable to avoid, and quite frankly I understand if someone’s a bit lazy about it. but that one person accusing me of thinking ‘slavery is punk’ genuinely made me realise those posts about reading comprehension on this site being godawful aren’t hyperbole

#just been thinking about it again. mostly out of anxiety thinking people hate me for it #and yeah sure hate me for it. I'm not in charge of you. #my entire point had actually been in favour but that I could understand why someone would buy from sh**n #I mean I wasn't aware at the time the levels of laziness I thought the most was like. preripped tshirts and jeans with generic plain patches #already added. not like prepatched stuff with actual slogans like that's antithetical to the spirit #so like with that context you can see why I thought it was a bit harsh #now I'm even more 'yeah makes sense' about it #and yeahhh I shouldn't have doubled down like that but I was tired and mad because I'd remembered how fucking hard it is to find shit where #I live like. you have the usual 'if you're not skinny you're fucked' problem but the other problem is that there is a big reselling problem #where I live. it's been happening with furniture for a long time and as soon as nicer clothing started appearing it happened with clothes #and when I say 'nicer' I mean 'not totally dogshit' #and tbh? the stuff in the op shops was also likely made with slave labour. just because you didn't buy it doesn't mean it wasn't bought #and it doesn't stop the company from using slavery. so like. #oh and when I say 'I was tired and mad' that's not an excuse that's a reason why. #and that quote that led to the dogshit reading comprehension was about the fact 'it's nothing new that companies use subcultures #to make a quick buck' and that it's not entirely improbable that it'll eventually get considered part of the fashion #which yeah I actually understand that being awful in this circumstance because not that I've looked but it probably looks dogshit #yeah. I think my point about nuance stands most #on one hand; posers suck. companies trying to make a quick buck suck. slavery sucks. trying to op shop sucks. #but it's not like all of it can be avoided and if so like. maybe put some effort into it #genuinely don't understand people buying prepatched stuff. like actual slogan patches. that's incredibly boring #the point is that you customise it you fools #my problem really is that I automatically think the best of people. oh they can't be that bad. yes they are you dumbfuck.

[kayspaceprince]

.

#my stuff #hmm. i have discovered the worst part about growing up and still living at home #watching in real time as your parents are better parents to rando kids #i try not to be bitter but like. the fact remains my parents were HELLA absent when i was in grade school (one physically one emotionally) #and now they're all into 'adopting' teens at church or friends' kids/grandkids #anyway just found out I was actually Not Invited TM to visit my gma this weekend bc they didn't get a dogsitter and also didn't TELL ME #idk man i've just had a shitty mental day bc waking up late for work and forgetting my headphones = self hate central #as soon as pill time hits im going to bed where i can cry in peace #and read saving my darling. i want some dumb (non pejorative) schmoop. maybe get around to rereading Birds To a Lighthouse if I REALLY wan #a good cry. it's a v good v sad holmes/watson fic 11/10 do recommend #i dunno. i guess i just thought I’d grow out of my mom being able to hurt my feelings #god it feels so CHILDISH but she DID and she DOES #this sucks #reading this back I’m like. hmm. oh yeah you were the one who had to be the ‘easy kid’ once you were able to #‘control’ read: hide #your emotions #the worst part about being being hurt by other people is then i feel STUPID #and bam self hate spiral #why do i make excuses for people who don’t change????

[vaspider]

Look. A little advice.

Once you get to a certain amount of Known on the internet or a subsection of it, or even in a subsection of a RL group of people, there are going to be people who will make up a version of you which exists only in their heads and which has absolutely nothing to do with who you are. It might better resemble who you were twenty years ago or it might never have had anything to do at all with who you were then or are now.

You cannot stop this. You cannot prevent this. Once you get a certain number of followers or a certain amount of attention, that's going to happen: people will make up stories about you which either look through a fun-house mirror at some small aspect of who you are and twist it and blow it up until it doesn't resemble you at all, or which just have absolutely no basis in fact whatsoever.

This is just another kind of parasocial relationship; it's the kind which really sucks to deal with, because it's so negative and so pervasive. It's very real, and the frustration you feel about it is very real. Nobody wants to be known incorrectly.

But. You can't control this. It's gonna happen. No matter what you say, no matter how precisely you say it, the people who want to misinterpret you will find a way to do so. This doesn't mean 'don't pay attention to what you say,' or 'don't be purposeful and precise with your language,' but it does mean 'don't obsess over the people who are determined to get you wrong.'

You can be the most anodyne, run-of-the-mill, unremarkable human being, and the people who are determined to hate you will find something that they can point to and say 'ha ha! I told you that Spider danced with the devil at midnight! I witnessed it myself!' (It will not help the situation if you are, say, self-admittedly stubborn as fuck, long-winded, and sometimes kinda fucking obnoxious, but please realize that in the end, it doesn't really matter. This is gonna happen no matter what.)

The people who matter will look at what's being said, wrinkle up their foreheads, and say, 'uh, man, it looks like Spider was actually playing with his dog at 9 am?'

That said, if you don't have elephant-thick skin from being a marginalized-gender human being who's been on the internet since before the web had pictures, there are some things you can do to make it easier when people making things up about you starts to get on your nerves:

Establish protocols for when it becomes too much: have someone read your messages, turn off your notifications, have time where you purposefully disengage.

Establish protocols for how you interact, period: "I will block people without guilt if they engage positively with the people who spread untruths about me." "I will answer everything in public so people can't lie about what I said, because it's right there in public." "I will not answer work-related stuff in DMs, that has to go to the work email." Whatever it is, create some boundaries for yourself. Stick to them. The people who push you to bend them aren't doing that for your benefit but theirs.

If you get someone who really hits your Weirdo Alarm, trust it. Yeah, block and report, but also, take screenshots and store them somewhere that isn't easily erased. I have an 'Internet Weirdos' folder, which makes it a little easier to deal with when people start doing things like 'making threats of physical harm to me and my family.' Don't fuss, just take a screenshot and chuck it in the folder. Having that record makes it easier to just forget that it ever happened, because you have a paper trail if anybody starts doing something Real Weird.

Spend time offline, with people who do actually know you.

Don't get lost in the version of you that someone else makes up in order to make up for the shit that's missing in their own life. You aren't required to play the part that someone else is trying to script for you. It is never to your benefit, only to theirs; you gain nothing by standing in that role for them, and you lose precious seconds of your one irreplaceable life.

You could be using those seconds to look at this video of how to pick up a duck, which I think we can all agree is a better investment of your time.

#internet #Youtube

[astrxealis]

sometimes i overthink and get overly anxious but then my worries are quelled and that feeling is just. the best

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #happened sometime before when i thought some people hated me but no oops i just jumped to conclusions #but i remember being so anxious about that! kinda brought me back to an experience some time ago where #uhm. yeah i had trouble sleeping because my heartbeat was too fast all the time. concerning not-so-good ol' days! #and so yeah that got cleared up though. and then now i thought other people hated me but school this time #and i thought they thought i was irresponsible and idk man but phew my worries were for naught... i think! #man i think overall i don't get as anxious but it's definitely still there #tw anxiety #part of me in general feels like everyone around me secretly hates me and it kinda really sucks #because i know it isn't true but sometimes i'm told that in fights even if i know they don't mean it and we always make up #and then in general i usually feel like i'm never a 'favorite'. as in. yeah. whatever HELP DON'T MIND ME SORRY #it's really complicated but also i understand how i've come to be this way and it's... just kinda sad to me i think #i think of that one in the tags kinda reblog game where it was 'what would cure you' or smth like that and #i think i just need a partner of sorts. someone who is for me. and i for them. and i have a twin but it's different you see #and i don't think anyone can really understand that because . twins aren't the most common. i don't have friends #who have twins orrr the one that does is not close with their twin unfortunately! so. yeah. #agh sorry sorry sorry i'll get back to doing stuff #yk it seems like i have really high self-love and all and ultimately i do but sometimes i wonder how much of it is a mask #which is why i was often confused whether i'm actually happy or confident or anything at all and. i'm kinda still like that now #... i don't need therapy i think. maybe i do. i've said to myself that the best way for me to go with it is to just do it by myself #but i'm wondering if that really is best considering. it's always by myself. i know people are there for me #but ultimately i just feel so... dreadfully alone #anyways happy monday HWBJBAFABHFb

[bioluminescentfrog]

what's meiosis

Ngl, I'm not entirely sure myself, but its like mitosis (aka cell division). But for sex cells so it has half the genetic material as a normal cell?

Cell takes genetic material, doubles it. Then it splits twice so there are four cells that have half the DNA that a normal one does.

#im learning all this stuff in spanish im sorry if my explination sucks #also idk if i got the english name right #im p sure its the same though #but yeah it was just one specific part of the drawing where where there was the blue and pink and yellow separate on one slide #then the next one had all the colors mixed #and it reminded me of the DNA exchange between chromosomes (This process is the reason you dont look exactly like your parents)

[driaswrld]

city boys! — gojo satoru and geto suguru.

wc : 1.4k

summary : you go grocery shopping with satoru and suguru and they're just idiots tbvh (gn! reader)

part of : the star paradox collection.

notes : i have shamelessly brought my calculator to a kfc drive thru and yes i do it at the grocery store bcus i have dyscalculia math sucks don't @ me. also i have so much satosugu brainrot i can't breathe. yay to the satoru themed era of the blog :))

other : this can be read as platonic or poly just however you wanna see it! (like three curse words i think - mentions of cunnilingus) I SWEAR ITS NOT WHAT U THINK

current casette : city boys - burna boy

There’s something about summer that makes Satoru and Suguru hang off your shoulders more than they ought to. In the most mundane situations too.

“—and it’s not even that serious!” Satoru groans, dragging his feet on the floor, reluctantly marching behind where you’re pushing the trolley. “Who cares what kind of curry it is? Curry is curry.” He reasons with a huff.

Suguru nudges you in the middle of the supermarket aisle from time to time, pointing out things you usually buy, brands you usually prefer over most, and you grab whatever you find remotely necessary and toss in the cart, both of you collectively ignoring Satoru’s whines.

“C’monnn… Listen to me!”

You pick up a can of diced pineapple and look at Suguru. “Nah, that one’s too sour,” he murmurs and you put it back instantly. Afterall, Suguru’s the best taste tester you could ever ask for. Satoru just scarfs down everything in a forty mile radius.

“The design on the can was pretty though, ‘s a shame.” You sigh.

Satoru’s groans fall on deaf ears.

You turn a corner and head into the fruit aisle. Suguru’s eyes flick to something over your head and his steps falter for a moment. While you’re pushing the trolley ahead, a soft smack! noise comes from behind you and before you can turn your head—

“No! I wanted the other one—”

“This one’s better—”

You ignore them, albeit barely with all the commotion both boys are causing in the supermarket. Leaning over an array of cherries on display, you hum to yourself, carefully picking the pretty ones to add to the cart, perusing at the other assortment of fruit and if even possible, Satoru and Suguru’s bickering gets louder.

“That tastes like shit—” “You look like shit—”

“You kiss your mom with that mouth?”

“You eat pussy with that mouth?”

You strain your head forward as an old lady strolls past, her eyes a little wide and eyebrows knitted with a look of utter shock and you shrink. With a stiff, humorless giggle you turn your back to her, suddenly finding a bunch of grapes oddly interesting.

Embarrassing.

And when you breathe a breath of relief as the old lady passes by, Satoru swings his arm over your shoulder, pouting. “Suguru’s a dumbass—” He’s cut off by a smack to the back of his head, and despite yourself you can’t help but laugh a little.

“Will you two just behave and,” you shift out of Satoru’s hold to take the mini package of ridiculously sweet m&m infused rice krispies he has in his other hand.

You toss it into the cart. “—help me pick some stuff for my fruit salad?” Satoru shrugs with a sigh, he hates shopping. It’s so boring—

You laugh and pull up the list you typed up on your phone : Raspberries, check. Kiwi, check. Watermelon, check. Grapes…

“What else do you need?” Suguru asks, and he sidesteps Satoru, leaning casually on the trolley, one foot pushing it forward and backward as you look through the fruits. “Grapes—” you murmur, suddenly feeling indecisive as you look through the different bunches. Green or Purple. Purple or Green.

Satoru pushes his sunglasses down to the curve of his nose. “Green, ‘s prettier,” he says and you turn to grab a bunch of the green grapes as Suguru straightens his body, pretending to look over your shoulder as he sneakily drops a package of plain marshmallow rice krispies into the cart. “Yeah, green would make it look way more appealing, wouldn’t it?” You whisper to yourself.

“I saw that—” Satoru begins to say.

“Purple’s better, healthier than the green ones.” Suguru says with a straight face. Behind your back he flips Satoru off.

You shrug your shoulders and grab a small bunch of both. If anything, it’ll be shared well between you and Shoko in the bentos you make. Hopefully she appreciates the struggle.

Sliding your phone unlocked, you glance at the list again as you step off. Grapes, check. Suguru pushes the trolley, following close behind you as Satoru trudges behind him. “Wait—” You halt immediately, and Suguru has to steer the trolley left so he doesn’t run into you, but Satoru steps on the back of Suguru's shoes, and looks away with a bashful whistle.

“Other aisle, we need to turn around.” You say, sliding your phone back into your back pocket. Canned Pineapples. You forgot you put back the last one. “How many damn aisles are there?” Satoru mumbles as you turn and make a beeline for the next corner, going back where the three of you came. Suguru chuckles.

Kneeling, you grab the canned pineapples opposite to the ones Suguru said were sour. Hopefully that much distance in the store is enough of a difference between the two brands.

You check the list one more time. Pineapples, check.

“Right, that should be it.” You mumble and both boys internally celebrate — well, Satoru makes a show of letting out a long dramatic sigh of relief while Suguru nods.

Taking a look into the cart, Satoru pettily moves his package of rice krispies on the other side of the cart, away from Suguru’s and when Suguru looks at him incredulously, he sticks a tongue out, “Your flavor’s trash.”

Suguru rolls his eyes and is about to push the trolley forward to run him over when he sees you pull out a scientific calculator from your tote.

A scientific calculator. The same one you use for school. “The fu—” Satoru is about to say, and Suguru glances at him, both of them trying to at least read each other’s minds about what the hell is going on.

You however, are so hyper focused on your little task, pushing the buttons of your calculator, tongue poking the inside of your cheek. Satoru and Suguru watch you for all of two minutes. One minute spent with expressions morphing from confused, to even more confused, to utterly amused. The second minute spent snickering quietly and snapping silent pictures for the groupchat.

“Huh, I went over a little.” You hum and though they haven’t wiped the sheer amusement off their faces, they both find themselves intrigued. “By how much?” Suguru asks, quickly sending off the pictures to the groupchat.

“Seven hundred yen.” You reply as you step forward to peer into the cart, willing and ready to discard one unnecessary item to drop the price.

Three of your phones chime. Satoru checks his own notification.

[Gojo Fanclub]

Nanaminn <3 : who added me to this???

Nanaminn <3 : delete my number gojo.

“Bet it’s the curry.” Satoru mumbles absentmindedly, typing at his phone screen. “The curry’s like—” he pauses, shoves his phone in his hoodie pocket and counts silently on his fingers. “A thousand yen or something — they must’ve put the god of curry in there or something.”

“It’s not the curry,” you reason scouring the cart for any discrepancies. And there’s quite a few of them. Including but not limited to some Sakura tarts, sour candies, an extra package of rice krispies—

“The curry powder we picked is five hundred yen, it’s not the curry.” Suguru shrugs, and Satoru leans against one of the shelves of seasoning, letting out a quiet sneeze.

“Bless you— I need to recheck these.” The calculator comes out again as you murmur to yourself, the click clacking of the buttons drowning out your own thoughts.

“I’m just saying— maybe it was the rice krispie Suguru snuck into the cart—” Satoru mumbles, all while he bends his body at the end of the aisle, reaching blindly around to the shelves on the other side.

“You put one in, I was only balancing the trolley weight.” Suguru interrupts, and he turns his head away when you look up from your calculator at him accusingly.

“See?” Satoru grins, almost victoriously as he grasps a package of baumkuchen, wheeling his hand back as he sidesteps Suguru, moving to slide the pastry into the trolley. “Who knows what else’ll just drop into the cart?” And your calculator is forgotten as you snatch the pastry from Satoru’s hand. “Nothing else is dropping into the cart—”

But something else catches your attention as you’re about to scold him.

Two bright green bags, hidden at the bottom of the cart, stuffed under the packaging of Sakura tarts.

“Who the hell put Kenpi chips in here?”

Satoru and Suguru both freeze, and suddenly their accusing fingers are pointed at each other. But instead of scolding them like they expect—

“Should’ve at least put one for me.”

You're never going to the grocery store with them again.

Bonus :

“Satoru’s paying for the extra snacks—”

“Not fair! Suguru shouldn’t get to just stuff his face—”

“Only two of those snacks are mine. Two. Out of ten.”

A notification sounds on the three of your phones.

[Gojo Fanclub]

Nanaminn <3 : is that my calculator that you borrowed???

@todorokies gets the privilege tag cs i told knives ab this first😭

#★ DRIASWRLD #tsr ⭐️ #jujutsu kaisen #satosugu x reader #gojo satoru x reader #geto suguru x reader #satoru gojo #suguru geto #gojo x geto x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk x reader #jjk fanfic #satoru x reader #suguru x reader #gojo satoru #geto suguru #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu kaisen fic #jujutsu kaisen drabbles #jujustsu kaisen x reader #geto x reader #gojo x reader

[lexisecretaccx]

Smile for the picture - Matt Sturniolo

(Femreader x Matt Sturniolo, Smut, semi public, Photobooth sex, p in v, slight breeding kink, male receiving, hot asf, not proofread so apologies for spelling mistakes!)

Summary: Matt and Y/n find a Photobooth and go to take photos when it takes a steamy turn and things turn sexual..

As me and Matt walked through the quiet part of the mall, we came across an old fashioned photobooth, “let’s take photos in there!” I say excitedly, quickly dragging Matt to the Photobooth.

“Fine..” Matt sighs, and he pulls back the curtain of the Photobooth, there’s a cute little stool only big enough for one person, Matts face lights up only barely as he notices this, “I’m gonna have to sit on your lap, but that’s ok.” I smile to Matt as he sits down on the stool and I seat myself on his lap and pull the curtain shut.

I wiggle around to try get into a comfortable position to take photos, eliciting a soft groan from Matt. “You okay?” I look at him as his eyes are squeezed shut. “Yeah sorry let’s take a photo..” he breaths. I click the camera button as it snaps a photo of me and Matt, my hand holding his jaw as I pull a kiss face and he looks at me smiling for the picture.

“That’s so cute omg, we have 3 more we can take, I’m glad it lets us pick when to take it instead of taking so many in a row.” I ramble on as I lean forward to take a look at the screen.

I feel matts hands snaking their way up and down my sides until he rests them on my hips, gripping slightly. “Mhm, whatever you say baby.” He spoke, barely listening to what I was saying. “Are you paying attention to what I’m saying?” I ask him and give him a slight smirk but his eyebrows remain slightly lifted in the corners as he bites his lip softly.

“Are you turned on right now?” I lower my voice and speak in a surprised tone. “Fuck.. you gotta stop wriggling on my lap y/n it’s really fucking with me.” He whispers in my ear. I smile to myself, also having a slightly warm feeling between my thighs.

“What if we like.. fucked in here?” I whispered as I turned myself around on his lap to face him. His eyes widened as he looked between my eyes and my lips, “what really? we’re in public baby, you don’t like that stuff.” He brushes a strand of hair behind my ear, “Well I wanna try new things with you Matt, also it’s not that public, there’s like 20 people who come down this part daily.” I kiss his lips softly.

“You’re my beautiful girl,” Matt whispers before kissing just below my ear and sucking on the sweet spot, causing me to let out a soft moan and my wetness grows. “I love your pretty sounds baby.” He kisses down my neck until he’s at my collar bones, “did you wear this little dress just for this hm?” He spoke against my skin as he moved the strap of the dress slightly with his long fingers.

“I wore it for you, I know how much you love fucking me in it.” I whisper into his ears as I grip onto his shoulder with one hand and use the other to prod at the heat growing between my legs, trying to get at least some friction. “Fuck you’re a good girl.” He grabs the hand that I was using to touch my heat and flips me around so im now facing away from him.

“Stand up for me,” He smirks as I do as he says and he pulls his sweatpants and boxers down in one swift motion, revealing his long member springing up to his stomach. He pumps it a few times, throwing his head back as he does so, “can you..” he hints for me to give him a blowjob, as if asking me to suck his dick is rude or something.

“Yeah of course babe, I don’t have a hair tie or anything tho..” I say looking to my wrists for where I usually keep my hair ties.

“I’ll hold your hair for you,” he adjusts himself to be at a comfortable position for both me and him. I get down onto my knees and wrap my hand around his dick, “fuck your hands are cold.” He breaths out as he grabs my hair into a makeshift ponytail.

I plant small kisses on his tip as to tease him before taking it into my mouth and slowly taking it further before it hits the back of my throat, I start to suck faster and I look up at Matt through my lashes as he’s struggling to look at me because his eyes keep closing due to pleasure.

I place one hand on the stool he’s sat on and the other one on his thigh for stability, I feel his cock twitch inside of my mouth as his tip kisses the back of my throat and tears brew in my eyes from trying not to gag.

“Fuck I’m close..” he whispers in between soft whimpers and groans. I hum around him causing him to twitch even more before his grip on my hair tightens and he pushes my head down softly, causing me to gag.

That must’ve been the thing that tipped him over the edge because not long after he breathily said “I’m cumming baby..” and he released his hot white liquid down my throat, I removed my mouth from his member with a slight pop and I swallowed the last bits of cum in my mouth.

Matt say there breathing heavily as I quickly remembered we had 3 photos left so I clicked the photo button and got a picture of his worn out expression and the back of my head cropped off the bottom of the photo. Matts eyes widened when he realised that I had caught that on the camera and he lifted me up by under my arms quickly causing me to squeal softly.

He span me around to face the camera and pulled down my panties, before softly rubbing his finger around my arousal leaking out of my heat and licking his finger. “I’m gonna get a photo of you with my dick inside of you okay baby?” He lifted my dress slightly before pulling me down onto his cock, I let out a light moan as I sink onto his length, not being able to take it all fully inside of me. “Atta girl.”

He grips my hips tightly and bounces me up and down on him as I begin to moan loudly, one of his hands comes around to cover my mouth “as much as I love your noises baby, you need to keep it down..” Matt hushes me before placing his hand around my neck but not choking me.

As he continues to fuck up into me I feel my eyes rolling to the back of my head and matt lets out hard groans as I grip onto the wall in front of me and to the side of me for stability.

I feel myself clenching around him as his pace quickens and soft moans leave my lips, I start to feel my legs shaking slightly as the knot in my stomach is begging to be released, Matt kisses my shoulders softly whilst I bounce on his large member. “I know you’re close baby, release for me..” he says between moans.

I let myself go with a loud moan that I try to stifle by biting my lip but I fail miserably, I feel my body go limp and arousal dripping around his cock as Matt helps me through my orgasm, just as I’m at the peak of my pleasure, matt whispers into my ear “smile for the picture baby..” and I hear the Photobooth camera snap. I turn my head around to face Matt as he’s still slowly fucking into me,

His forehead sweaty and his hair messed up, with a grin plastered across his face, quickly interrupted by his orgasm reaching closer, “fuck I’m gonna cum again..” he whimpers slightly as his eyebrows knit together.

“I’m gonna fuck my kids up into you baby, okay?” He asks but I know he’s gonna do it anyway, I nod limply as I feel his hot cum shooting inside of me and Matt whines loudly, before leaning forward and taking another picture of us both fucked out and his head laying against my shoulder, kissing my collarbone softly, his dick still inside my walls.

“How many should we print?” I speak breathily, before slowly lifting myself off of his cock and holding on to the wall to keep myself steady as my legs are still slightly numb. “Print 4.. in case we lose a copy..” Matt says quietly, leaning his head back against the wall.

“Okay baby.” I pull my panties up from around my ankles and Matt stands up before pulling his sweatpants and boxers back up again. I print the photos and I hear them pop out from outside the curtain. I fix my hair and Matt fixes his as we open the curtain and stumble out, not really hiding what we were just doing in there.

I grab the photos and laugh softly when I see our faces, I hand all of the strips to Matt and he puts them in his pocket to keep safe. A middle aged woman walks past with her husband and she looks us up and down before her facial expression changes to that of disgust and she rolls her eyes, her husband oblivious.

I mean it is a sight, two young people stumbling out of a Photobooth with their clothes slightly messed up as one of them clings on to the other to stop her legs from giving out.

Matt wraps his arm around my waist to support me and we walk out of the mall.

“That was fun..” Matt smirks to me, “It was but it was so risky, and did you see the way that lady judged us?” I reply. “She’s just jealous her husband probably needs a pill to get turned on.” Matt laughs snarkily. I hit his chest lightly “you can’t say that Matt.” I laugh softly before kissing him on the cheek.

“I’m taking a picture of these strips and I’m setting it as my background.” Matt smiles while pulling two of the strips of photos out of his pocket and handing one to me so we can both hold one in the picture.

“I can’t believe you actually set that as your background, especially on your lock screen, what if Nick or Chris sees it?”

“I don’t care, plus they wouldn’t pay attention to what the photos actually are.”

—💋——📷——‼️——💌———❤️———💌——‼️——📷——💋—

A/n: Omg I love this, public sex is kinda hot honestly. Also idk why I love the idea of them taking the photographs during.. yk. Like it’s kinda hot also. I love doing one shots so please feel free to recommend something in my inbox, whether it be smut, fluff, or whatever! I love you all and thank you for getting over 800 notes on dont hold back❤️💋

Taglist: @kvtie444 @blahbel668 @mattsleftnipple03 @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @hysteria-things @sturniologurl4l2008 @jakevwebber @braindead4l @mattybearnard

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #sturniolos #matt #smut #chris sturniolo fanfic #photobooth

[whore-era]

1-800-GIRLS

☁︎ modern!ellie x sex-hotline-operator!reader, very small mention of dealer!ellie ☁︎ summary: where ellie dials the wrong number and meets you instead. ☁︎ warnings: contains smut! 18+ only. top/dom!ellie, bottom/sub!reader, mentions spitplay/breathplay/overstimulation, mentions sexual interactions with men, dirty talking, guided masturbation (r!recieving), use of fem nicknames (babygirl, sweet girl, pretty girl, pup, puppy) let me know if i missed anything else pls. ☁︎ a/n: i feel like this kinda sucked bc towards the end i kinda rushed it, but i couldn't shake this idea n knew i had to write it. hope u like it bbs<3 also thank u to my bestie @elskittie for helping me figure some things out w this fic ☁︎ word count: 4,463 ☁︎ 1-800-GIRLS part 2

phone call style story — reader is in italics, ellie is in bold.

monday, 12:45am → incoming call from 307-222-4578 (jackson, WY)

thank you for calling 1-800-GIRLS, it's sugar speaking. how can i help you, hot stuff?

uhh.. i just wanted to order a pepperoni pizza..

oh yeah? you want something hot and ready? i have something hot and ready for you.

ummm..

you hear some shuffling in the background, "jess! i think you gave me the wrong number!" the person comes back on the line again.

this isn't papa tony's cheesy pizza place?

....do you want me to roleplay as papa tony's cheesy pizza place?

woah woah woah! roleplay?? who the fuck am i on the phone with?

this is sugar from 1-800-GIRLS.....a sex hotline...for you know? phone sex.

PHONE SEX?? you hear the girl's voice yell in the background, "jesse! you ass! you gave me the number to a phone sex hotline!"

"does she sound hot?"

"well yeah, but—"

hey, you do know it's $1 a minute right? you've been on the line for almost 5 minutes, babe.

HUHH?? hell no..ok thanks sugar bear, or whatever. bye!

the line clicks off, and you shrug. sitting back in your bed to continue watching your favorite netflix show. you feel your work phone vibrate again, the name flashing 'bobby', a regular who frequents the hotline.

sighing and picking up your phone and holding it to your ear, you take a bite from your sandwich as you answer your 15th call this evening, "thank you for calling 1-800-GIRLS, it's sugar speaking. how can i help you, big boy?"

tuesday, 2:12am → incoming call from 307-222-4578 (jackson, WY)

thank you for calling 1-800-GIRLS, it's sugar speaking. how can i help you tonight, cutie?

hey....sugar.. i just- er- wanted to apologize for yesterday. my buddy got your number confused with a pizza place we really wanted to try. didn't mean to sound rude last night.

it's no issue, babe. don't sweat about it.

.......

.......

soooo.... is that the only reason why you called?

ellie didn't want to admit that she was attracted to 'sugar's' voice and that she'd been thinking about it all day during class. but also, ellie was high as a fucking kite, which gave her the courage to even dial the number again anyways.

i— uh— well— how does this whole thing work?

what thing? the hotline?

yeah..

well, you call me, we have phone sex or talk or whatever, and then you hang up. again, it's a dollar a minute.

okay, okay, i get it. so we can just talk? about anything?

yeah, if you want to.

sick.

ellie takes another drag from her joint, before speaking again.

so, do you like doing this? being an operator or whatever?

you let out a laugh, which ellie caught.

specify what you mean by 'like'?

i mean— this is your job. do you enjoy doing it?

ehh...i guess.

c'mon. you can be honest with me.

well, being a sex hotline operator has it's downsides. obviously helping old men jack off gets a little weird sometimes — they have some unusual fetishes.

oh yeah? what's been the weirdest one so far?

uhhh..i have this one regular who has me pretend i'm a ghost. apparently, having sex with ghosts is a real turn on for him.

what the fuck. seriously?

mhm, it's true.

shit, dude....i don't think i could ever do what you do. i dunno how you can do it.

well when you have college tuition and rent to worry about, the downsides don't seem all that bad.

holy shit, you're in college? how old are you anyways?

19.

that's crazy. we're around the same age. i figured you were a bit older.

how 'bout you? how old are you?

21.

not bad not bad. you're way different from the clients i usually get.

yeah? how?

considering my usual clients are 40 to 60 year old men who are married with kids and have secret fetishes, i'd say you're out of my ballpark.

ellie laughs.

how do you know i'm not secretly an old, 57 year old man who's married to my wife janet with three kids? and i have a balloon fetish?

you let out a giggle, adjusting your sleep shorts as you lay back down on your bed, completely invested in your conversation with this girl.

well, how can i appease your balloon fantasies?

i'm just fuckin' with ya. definitely not a man and i have the more normal kinks and fetishes.

is that so? what are the 'normal' kinks and fetishes?

uhhhh....well i'm into bondage, i love tying girls up..i dunno, just seeing them open and vulnerable does something to me. i'm into breathplay, spitplay, overstimulation, and i'm definitely a dominant so—

all you could do was gape as the girl went on her tangent, listing off every kink she could think of. you gulped, suddenly getting a bit nervous from this topic of conversation. you were experienced in the field of phone sex, but actual sex was a totally different world you had no practice in.

so, how 'bout you sugar?

...uhhh....i'm a virgin actually.

the other girl went silent on the other side of the line.

what? but you work as a sex hotline operator.

oh yeah- but— hold on, i'm getting another call. i'll speak to you some other time.

you hung up and threw your work phone across your bed, laying your head down on your pillows. talking to men was so much easier for you, so why do you get all caught up when you talk to a girl?

it was nearly 3:30am, so you decided to turn in and call it a night, mentally preparing yourself for a busy day tomorrow.

wednesday, 11:45am

sitting next to professor adams, patiently waiting for the students to turn in their quizzes, you try to focus on the text of your 'philosophy 101' book.

you were grateful that professor adams gave you the opportunity to be his teacher's assistant for a little bit of extra cash, and you weren't complaining either. the tasks he gave you were easy for a mere $16 an hour. still, it wasn't enough to support all of your bills, so you couldn't drop the hotline gig.

"and time! everyone hand your quizzes in to my TA, regardless if you finished or not," professor announced. all the students shuffled towards the front, handing you their quizzes as you neatly put them in a small pile.

"ah shit— let me put the date on that," a girl, with a very familiar voice spoke. looking up, you're greeted with the most attractive girl you've seen in your life. she had brunette hair and green eyes, with a small scar on her right brow. was this..? no, it couldn't be. that would be insane.

handing you the paper, her hand brushes against yours. you look down at her quiz, seeing in messy, scribbled black ink the name ellie williams.

slinging her backpack on one arm, she heads out the door, "jesse! wait up for me!"

leaving you in a daze, you were completely speechless by the idea that one of your new, favorite clients from your nighttime job is actually a student at your university.

saturday, 1:45am → 1:14:34 ongoing call with 401-890-6798 (cranston, RI)

thanks, sugar. will be calling you again at the same time next week.

no problem, sir. goodnight. dream of me.

sure will, babygirl.

the line clicks as the older man hangs up, and you shudder a bit, feeling uncomfortable after having to roleplay as a ghost, again.

sighing heavily, you place your work phone on your desk and pick up your real phone, opening instagram and scrolling on your feed as you mindlessly snack on some gummy bears.

you double tap to like some of your friends pictures, wishing you were out at a party, drinking some lukewarm beer and dancing with your girls to the latest tiktok hits.

but instead you were cooped up in your apartment, dirty talking old men through their fantasies and bearing witness to their guttural groans and masturbation. it was a shame that friday and saturday nights were your busiest evenings.

taking your bottom lip between your teeth, you ponder for a moment, your finger hovering over the instagram search bar.

fuck it, you thought, typing 'ellie williams' and hitting search.

the username @_elliewilliams pops up, and bingo. it was the same girl from professor adams class.

luckily her profile was public, so you take your time carefully combing through her instagram account, mindful not to accidentally like her posts or anything.

ellie's feed consisted of smoking weed, eating out, and hanging with her friends, jesse and dina. there were only two selfies she had posted — one of her and an older gentleman and one mirror picture of her in a grey hoodie and a light brown canvas jacket that made her look so good.

the ringing from your work phone caught you off guard, causing you to jump in your chair and exit out of the instagram app. you take a look at the number, and speak of the devil, it was ellie herself. she was the only jackson number that ever contacted you.

saturday, 2:10am → incoming call from 307-222-4578 (jackson, WY)

thank you for calling 1-800-GIRLS, sugar speaking. what can i do for you, handsome?

hey, sugar. just wanted to apologize for how our last conversation went. i probably pushed a boundary or something— i'm not sure if you're supposed to talk about personal things with customers— so, i'm sorry.

you let out a soft laugh.

why is it when you call me, you're always apologizing?

'cause i'm a fuck up, that's why.

nooo, that's not true. besides, don't worry about it. your question just caught me off guard, you know? never had clients ask things about me before i guess.

ahh, gotcha. so...were you busy before i called?

you shake your head, even though she was on the phone and couldn't see you.

uh, not really. my line doesn't usually get busy until...12 midnight ish.. it slows down by like 2 am though. how about you? what are you up to this friday night?

i just got back home from a party. business was slow and it was getting boring, so i dipped.

business? what business?

ah— well—

ellie silently cursed to herself, not wanting to scare you away with her current occupation.

if i tell you what i do, promise you won't get freaked out or anything?

you're talking to a phone sex hotline operator. don't worry.

you can hear her laugh from the other end.

well, fuck it, cat's out of the bag. i deal weed on campus and shit.

ahhh. i like that. is that how you can afford the minutes you spend calling me?

yup. i can stay on the phone for hours if we wanted.

maybe you'll be my only customer.

i wouldn't complain.

speaking of customers, do you want me to save your number under a specific name or nickname or anything? since i'm assuming you're gonna be a regular?

trying to confirm if it was indeed ellie you were speaking with, you sat on the edge of your chair, anxiety building in your belly.

what nicknames do your clients usually pick?

uhhh. master, sir, king, mister, alpha— umm and daddy.

something stirred inside ellie hearing that last nickname roll off your tongue.

you could just put me down as ellie.

got it.

what do i call you? do i just keep calling you sugar?

well, you're a customer. you can call me anything you like, but, for formalities and privacy, i can only tell you my hotline nickname — sugar.

okay, okay, that makes sense. you're not really allowed to have any personal or close relationships with clients, huh?

no, not really. mostly for safety purposes.

ellie was a little disappointed to know that she wouldn't be able to get to know the girl she was talking to beyond calling on the phone. she already felt herself getting attached. your voice was alluring and enticing, and she couldn't help but want to hear it more, and possibly put a name and face to who it belonged to.

but, i could bend the rules a little if i really wanted to.

yeah? let's see about that.

saturday, 4:45 am → 2:43:03 ongoing call with ellie (jackson, WY)

oh my god! did you and your ex get caught??

you were enamored with ellie. the way she could keep a conversation going and the stories she told — you didn't wanna hang up.

no, no, no, luckily we hid behind a dumpsters before the cops could catch us. it's hilarious thinking about it now, but we were dumbass 18-year-olds back then.

you both were in fits of laughter, your belly aching and tears watering in the corners of your eye.

as you calmed down, you couldn't stop your mouth from asking a question that's been racking on your mind.

so, how long were you and your ex together?

uhhhh, about 2 years.

ohhh okay........are you seeing anyone right now?

ellie lets out a laugh, and you can hear her smile, even through the phone.

why? who's asking?

well, i was just— uhh—

i'm just fuckin' with you. nah, i'm not seein' anyone right now. single af.

okay, okay. good to know.

how 'bout you?

nope. i'm single too.

seriously?? how?

i dunno. just never found the right person i guess. also, working for this hotline has made me lose hope for relationships in general, some of these dudes call me and say all this stuff — while having a whole wife and family at home.

i think you're looking in the wrong place then. try talking to people at school or going out to parties—

can't. if i'm not doing homework or studying, i'm working and doing this. i gotta make a living somehow.

ellie couldn't help but feel bad, knowing if she could, she'd support you full time and take that weight off your shoulders.

hmm, maybe you'll meet someone who could support you and take care of your bills and stuff.

oh? where would i find that? sounds too good to be true.

maybe they're closer to you than you think.

your breath hitched in your throat, unsure of what to say next.

i— uh— i have to go. it's 5am.

oh— uh— yeah. of course. goodnight, sugar.

goodnight, ellie.

sunday, 11:37pm → incoming call from ellie (jackson, WY)

hey.

hey. where's your usual greeting?

you're not a usual customer, so i think we're past that now, ellie.

ellie's heart thumped in her chest hearing you say her name.

good. anyways, what are you up to tonight?

just studying for a quiz tomorrow morning. how about you?

smoking, just finished some homework.

what class was it for?

uhhh, just this calculus class.

you clamped your mouth shut, suppressing a gasp. it was for professor adams class.

....uhhh, i could never get calculus. it's so hard.

yeah? maybe one night i can tutor you.

i'd be a terrible student.

i think you'd be the perfect student. i can teach you, i got you.

you couldn't help but think there was another meaning behind her words, but you didn't want to jump to any conclusions. it would be embarrassing if you got her message all wrong.

what's your quiz on anyways?

energy transfer between cells, it's for biology.

i know a thing or two about that. here— why don't we do this, just explain to me what you know and we'll go from there.

okay, i can do that.

you and ellie spent the next two and a half hours talking about cell function and energy transfer and everything else in between, with her correcting you and adding in important things you missed.

alright, sugar, i think you're ready for this quiz tomorrow.

you think so?

i know so. you're such a smart girl.

there she goes again, praising you.

uh, th-thanks.

don't worry, okay? i know you'll do great.

a smile curls on your lips, flustered from all her support.

you should get some sleep, so you can be focused and ready for tomorrow.

m'kay. thank you, ellie, for all your help.

of course. always. goodnight, sugar.

goodnight, ellie.

monday, 5:32pm → 45:21 ongoing call with mister j (corpus christi, TX)

yeah, babe? you want me to fuck your tight ass?

mhm, yes mister.

c'mon. beg, sugar.

please. fuck my tight hole, mister j.

ah, hell.

you can hear his belt buckle clanging, and the soft buzz of a zipper.

what's wrong with 'ya tonight, sugar? you're bein' a real buzzkill, 'ya know that? fuckin' turnin' me off and makin' me soft.

i-i'm sorry, mister j. please, jus—

yea, yea, save it. we'll jus' try 'gain tomorrow.

the line clicks on the other end. tossing your work phone on your desk, you fall back on your bed and stuff your face in your pillow. weeping into the plush material, you let yourself fall apart and break down.

but your sobbing session is cut short as you can hear the familiar ring of your work phone.

wiping your tears, you walk over to your desk and answer.

monday, 5:45pm → 00:32 ongoing call with ellie (jackson, WY)

thanks for calling 1-800-GIRLS, it's suga-

woah, woah, woah are you crying?

e-ellie?

yeah, baby, it's me. sounds like you're crying. what's going on? talk to me.

today was just a really, really bad day and then i opened my hotline a little early and one of my first clients just lashed out on me because i wasn't responding the way he wanted me to and—

you sniffle.

— and i'm just really stressed out by everything going on in my life right now.

i'm sorry. i wish there was something i could do— someway i could comfort you or take the weight off.

i-it's fine, ellie. talking to you is making it a little better.

ellie was silent for a moment, thinking carefully and planning her next moves accordingly.

do you trust me?

....y-yea, of c-course. why?

i'm gonna help you ease the tension. okay?

okay.

first of all, where are you?

i-in my room, sitting at my desk.

okay. go lay down on your bed.

with your phone pressed to your ear, you pick up your legs and stride over to your bed, laying down on the fluffy, material of your blanket.

okay, i'm on my bed.

good. what are you wearing?

foreseeing the direction this phone call was heading in, apprehension builds in your stomach.

ellie, you really don't have to-

hey, i want to help you. if that's okay with you. if not, we could talk about something instead.

biting your lip, you fold.

i-i'm okay with it, but i-i've never— played with myself with a customer before. i don't really do anything with myself even when i'm not working anyways.

that's okay. don't think of me as a customer, think of me as a...teacher. i got you, remember?

okay.

good girl. now, what are you wearing?

uh.. a tank top and shorts.

cute. take them off.

gulping, you follow her orders, shimmying out of your top and shorts.

done?

mhm.

good. so obedient.

i want you to rub your boobs for me. rub your nipples, pull on them, just feel the skin under your hand for me, baby.

rubbing the soft skin along your breast, and tugging on your hardened nipples, you bite your lip, savoring the way your body feels under your touch.

how does it feel?

feels good.

bet it does.

ellie couldn't stop her mind from imagining you, on your bed, perfectly naked. and how she'd give everything up, just to sneak a peek.

now, i want you to just rub your hands against the sensitive parts of your body. be slow and gentle, we're not rushing anything.

as your hands drift from your neck, down to the hills of your breasts, and to the edge of your panties, ellie speaks through the line again.

doesn't it feel nice, baby?

mhm.

wish i could be there, to watch you, touching your pussy.

you instinctively clamp your thighs, feeling heat rush to your core.

alright, take your panties off. slowly.

you slowly peel the piece of material off, looking at the small, wet spot that formulated on your underwear.

okay, they're off.

such a good girl, following my every command.

you gulp, her nickname for you sending shivers up your spine.

slowly feel the skin on your legs. stroke your inner thighs, tease yourself a little.

hanging off on her every word, you let out a shaky breath, the heat in your cunt growing only bigger and bigger.

god, i wish i can be there to see this right now. bet you look so good, thighs spread apart, pussy all wet— all because of me.

i- i'm aching. i need more, ellie.

i know, baby, i know. i wish i can help you more. if it were up to me, i'd have you bent over your desk, taking you from the back. fuck.

your mind drifts to that image, of her fucking you, taking you as hers. a stream of your slick begins to leak out from your pussy. god, you wanted her so bad.

slide a finger between your pussy, baby. let me hear how wet you are.

spreading your thighs apart, the tip of your fingers slips in between the folds of your pussy lips, the slick sound of your wetness echoing throughout the room. loud enough for ellie to hear.

fuuuuuck.

i-

you tried to speak, but it comes out sounding like a pathetic whimper. ellie's brain was going insane, she couldn't believe where she had you, writhing from her mere words.

go ahead, pretty girl. rub slow circles on your clit.

the pads of your pointer and middle finger gently rub steady, figure 8's against your hardened nub. closing your eyes, you imagined ellie, and how it was her hand instead of yours. the thought had you panting, faint breaths releasing from your parted lips.

your pussy sounds so wet, holy shit. you sound so fucking good for me. so fucking perfect.

as your fingers continue massaging on your sopping, wet clit, a pool of wetness gathers right below your ass.

how does it feel, baby?

f-feels amazing, ellie.

you let out a low whimper.

i wish you were here.

me too, pup. me too.

you can hear her heavy breaths from the other end of the phone.

i wish i could be there, kissing your neck. trailing my lips down to suck on your nipples. fuuck, wanna taste every inch of your skin. i wanna feel your pussy tighten around my fingers.

you let out another pitiful moan, only to hear ellie curse under her breath again.

rub your pussy faster for me, angel. imagine it's me, pumping my fingers in and out. would daddy's pretty girl like that?

you couldn't respond. all you could let out was these weak whines, yearning for ellie and her touch. you added a third finger, building onto the pressure and picking up the speed.

your moans sound so pretty. wonder how'd they sound when you're taking my strap. gonna have you cry out my name, yeah? isn't that right?

mhm, yes, daddy.

good. that's what daddy likes to hear, such a polite girl.

with your eyes rolling back, you could feel your orgasm building.

i-i'm gonna— ellie, i—

you gonna cum for me, puppy? huh? c'mon, rub faster, baby. i know you have a little bit more left in you.

your fingers speed up, the sound of your wetness gushing out reverberated in ellie's ear.

oh my god, daddy can i? please? can i—

arching your back, you knew you were close. the feeling was getting to be too much and you were about to fall over the edge.

look at my baby, so respectful and asking permission. come on, pretty puppy. cum for daddy. let daddy hear how good she made you feel.

that was it. letting out a penetrating moan, you rode your orgasm out and finished all over your fingers, making a mess. you were heaving, chest rapidly rising and falling.

god, i made a mess.

oh, yeah? do one more thing for me. suck your fingers clean. puppies clean up their messes.

monday, 8:57pm → 3:01:32 ongoing call with ellie (jackson, WY)

after your little self-care session with ellie, she took it upon herself to get your mind off of today's events, filling your conversation with stories and interesting topics.

oh, forgot to ask, what'd you end up getting on that biology quiz?

ughhh, i got a 65 out of 100. one of the reasons why i was so upset today.

seriously? how?

i don't know! i asked professor gonzalez and she told me that i was focusing on the wrong thi-

wait, did you just say professor gonzalez? holy shit, you're taking biology 201 with professor g? do you fucking go to school at university of wyoming? in jackson?

oh shit, you didn't mean for that to slip out.

i— uh— i have to go—

wait! sugar! please. hear me out.

you stay silent, waiting for what she had to say.

if we really do go to the same campus, please, let's meet up. i really want to see you.

.....why?

i just— i love talking to you. spending hours with you on the phone is what i look forward to when i get home. besides, i really want to take you out, on a date.

you bit your lip, unsure of what to say.

listen, if you want to see me too, meet me at the library in building B, by the comic book section. okay? tomorrow at 1pm.

....

i really hope you come.

the line clicks off, and you spend the rest of the night restless, tossing and turning, debating whether or not to see her tomorrow.

tuesday, 2:50pm

ellie eagerly checked her phone again, bouncing her knee in distress. her mind was running rampant — fuck, she's not gonna come. maybe jesse was right. maybe i was wasting my time.

looking up for the 80th time, she scans the comic book section, seeing no one else but some dude with his face buried in a wonder woman comic.

as ellie gets up from her chair, she turns her head, and she freezes.

there you were, looking like an angel who entered from the garden of eden. ellie's heart sped up, seeing her girl standing before her. you were everything she could've imagined and better.

walking slowly towards the brunette, you brush a piece of hair from your face, and smile meekly.

"hi ellie, it's me."

pls let me know how this fic was, i tried out a new writing style & read pt 2 here <3

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