#but i remember being so anxious about that! kinda brought me back to an experience some time ago where | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

suchalonelysunflower · 3 years

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Be Alright (l.h)

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x Fem!Reader

Requested: Yes!

Summary: You go on tour with Luke and the boys for the first time, but things don’t go as planned as you try to fit in.

Warnings: Angst with Fluff. Anxiety, panic attacks, low self esteem. Language. Hostility. Some grammatical errors (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 6.9 k

Author’s Note: This fic takes place after the pandemic. It deals with anxiety and panic attacks, but please remember that the symptoms as well as what the person experiences it’s always different, this is just how I see and experience these cases. Please, if you want to learn more about them get informed by a reliable source. Remember that Reblogs, Comments, Likes and Feedback are much appreciated and you don’t know how much it helps me! ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🌻🦋✨

My materialist // wanna be part of my taglist?

Picture taken from Pinterest

@theshyspy : (...) So I was wondering if you could write something with Luke or cal (whoever feels most natural?) where the reader just gets really anxious and he takes care of her and calms her down? maybe making sure she eats and/ or drinks enough, that she gets some rest, perhaps he sings for her? Idk just some fluff🤷🏼‍♀️ (It’s totally ok if you don’t want to, or don’t feel comfortable writing it !! I know it can be triggering for some people so just leave it if it bothers you in any way!!🙆🏼‍♀️💕)

The feeling of an ice-cold touch shook you out of your dreamless sleep. You nearly jumped out of your seat before remembering where you were and what you were doing.

The light came through the small window, illuminating your seats and the small aisle that separated you from your friends. The air conditioner was turned off and you made a mental note to thank Luke later, he knew how cold you get on these travels.

Speaking of “Why are your hands so damn cold?!” You scolded your boyfriend as you rub your eyes, trying to wake up and steady your heartbeat from the scare you just got.

Luke just pressed his lips in a thin line, not wanting to laugh at your sudden reaction but also not to smile like an idiot due to your sleepy state. Even after a 15-hour flight you still looked cute as hell in his eyes.

“Sorry, love,” He said with a smile once you looked at him “I was having a drink, and then came time to wake you up. I didn’t notice my hands were cold”

You murmured some gibberish close to an ‘okay’ and yawned “How long was I out?”

Luke cringed “20 minutes”

“What?!”

It was no surprise, you could never sleep well in places that were not a proper bed. You didn’t want to think about how it would be like to sleep in a bunk next to your six-foot-four Australian boyfriend.

“I thought I slept longer” You pouted “Although it didn’t feel like much”

“Another bad dream?” He asked, placing his head on your shoulder as he intertwined his fingers with yours, slowly playing with them.

“A lack thereof, actually,” You said, yawning again “But don’t worry, I’ll sleep when we get to the hotel”

Luke smiled and brought your hands to his lips, softly placing a kiss on your knuckles as you cuddled next to him.

Your heart was beating loud and you hoped he wouldn’t notice, or if he did then he did not say anything and you were grateful. It was stressful enough to travel on tour for the first time and to know that you might bring him down with your anxious overthinking was not doing great with you.

Luckily, your mind grew quiet as Calum popped his head from the seat in front of you.

“Excited for your first tour?” He asked with a grin. He looked brand new, and as you looked around you realized they all do. For a moment there you had to remind yourself that this is what they do for a living.

“Mmh hmm” You hummed, head still placed over Luke’s while you played with his hair “Kinda nervous, though” You admitted.

“Why?” This time it was Ashton the one who asked, popping his head from the seats next to yours as he joined the conversation “It’s going to be fun! Like a big road trip” He chuckled.

“Yeah but-” Your voice was cut out by the pilot who announced over the speakers your arrival at the airport.

You thought about sharing your fears with the boys, given that this was your first time flying across the world with them you didn’t exactly know what to expect and you were scared to find that out in the worst situations. But then, how could they know? After all, how much pressure could they have when they pretty much secured the love of everyone? You, however, were just the girlfriend and it almost felt like you have to earn that place on tour.

The fans will be looking at them but criticizing you. It’s not like it would be your first time dealing with it since you went public with your relationship, God knows it’s not easy dealing with that But it won’t be just them this time, there’s also the paparazzi, the crew, the boys themselves even if they don’t notice; they are all expecting you to be ready and up for it, perfect all the time. Not to mention the stress of traveling and the schedules, the jet lag and the-

Once again your thoughts were put on pause before you could finish overthinking them as you felt Luke shake next to you. You met his gaze but he was looking to the side, trying hard to stiffen his laughter as Ashton dropped an ice cube into Michael's back under his shirt, waking him up with a jump and a mix of curses.

You shook your head and laughed along with them. You should be thankful for having them, after all, they are your friends and they could help you manage all of those pits of anxiety that started to grow. Anything could happen on this tour and, at least you know that you won’t be bored.

Luke helped you with your carry-out and let you walk in front of him, all while placing his hands on the sides of your waist and walking -or actually more like waddling along with you. You giggled as he placed his head on top of yours, making it difficult to walk for the both of you but he wasn’t going to let go. That’s one of the things you love about him; he is never afraid to show his affection and be close to you, almost in a protective manner. You feel safe with him and you know the feeling is mutual.

You laughed with the rest of the boys as you made your way to claim your luggage, joking around and teasing each other much to the annoyance of the other passengers. You felt how Luke’s chest rumbled with laughter, and in the few quiet moments, you got while waiting for your bags he managed to hold you closer and press little kisses around your forehead and cheeks, making you giggle in his tight embrace. You almost forgot how tired you were from the flight.

Almost. But your body had a different plan.

As your bags were taking their sweet time, you could hear the distant voices of the boys drifting away from you. Slowly, you began to drift away too, your eyelids becoming heavy as you struggled to stay up. Soon enough, the notices became a light buzzing sound inside your head.

“Y/N?” Luke asked as he felt you become heavier on his grip “Baby?” He looked down at your face and saw you fight to get your eyes open and failed to do so as they kept shutting without your permission.

He cringed as he saw your tired face, knowing that he was once again tasked with the job of waking you up. If it were up to him, he would’ve carried you in his arms all the way to the van just for you to get some sleep. But it was common for them for fans to welcome them in the airport accompanied by some paparazzi who tried to get a bad shot out of them and, despite his wishes for you to be completely rested and healthy, he needed to wake you up.

“Y/N, are you alright, love?” He asked whispering in your ear, rubbing his hands up and down your arms hoping that in that way he could somehow share some of his energy with you.

You quickly came back to your senses once you felt Luke’s arms leave your waist and hold you by your shoulders and elbows. A red flush covered your face as you realized where you were standing -and almost falling, asleep.

“Y-yeah,” You said, standing up straight as you pull away from his hold, somehow trying to prove your point “I’m just-“

“Tired. Yeah, it’s okay” Luke reassured you as he came closer and wrapped you in his arms by the waist “I was just like you when I experienced my first jet lag. It will go away”

You scoffed “Yeah? In how long?”

“In like four months when we get home” He teased, immediately bursting into laughter when he saw you glare at him.

You slightly punched his chest, mocking anger. But soon enough you found yourself laughing along “I think I just need to eat something”

Luke stopped laughing, replacing his smile with a concerned gaze “Didn’t you eat on the plane?”

“I couldn’t. I tried to eat while you were asleep, but my stomach just rejected the food so I chose to wait until we were on land”

Luke shook his head and was about to say something when Calum interrupted him to give you both your bags.

“Those were the last ones,” He said “We need to get going”

Luke nodded as he watched him walk away, turning to you once he was out of sight.

You could feel his worried stare, but you just smiled at him as you placed your hand on his cheek “Don’t worry love. I can buy something from here and then eat some real food at the hotel if that would make your worries go away”

He just sighed and nodded. You smiled reassuringly at him and brought him closer to peck his lips “Love you”

“Love you, too,” He said with a love fool grin “Ready to start the tour?” He asked excitedly.

You nodded enthusiastically as you grabbed his hand and started walking along with him towards the gates, feeling ready to face up anything.

Well, you weren’t ready to face up to what ensued.

As soon as those gates opened you were bombarded with flashes of cameras and screams from thousands of people.

Fans were gathered outside the airport gates, waiting for their favorite band to arrive. Of course, this led to the paparazzi being there as well, waiting to get an inside scoop of the boys’ first arrival on their world tour after the pandemic.

There were too many people for you to be able to see more than three meters in front of you. All of them were shouting Luke’s name as he tried to make his way out of there and lead you to safety.

You lifted your gaze and saw how he was smiling at the fans, waving with his free hand as his grip on your hand became tighter. Strangers were approaching the both of you very quickly, pushing their way to the front as they asked and demanded a picture of an autograph.

Your personal space was becoming smaller and smaller as they pushed through you, trying to separate you from your boyfriend’s grip. They bumped your shoulder and kicked your sides with elbows and frantic arms. You felt your voice getting drowned out as you called for Luke, hoping that he could hear you over the commotion and come help you out.

It all happened so fast. Luke let go of your hand by accident for just one second as he tried to look back at you. His heart shattered as he struggled to find your eyes in the crowd of pleas and flashing cameras “Y/N?!” He called, trying to appear calm in front of those strangers, but on the inside he was desperate, kicking himself over and over for ever letting go of your hand.

And then, he heard it “Luke!”

Your eyes were wide and filled with tears as people pushed through you to get to him. His eyes filled with regret as he sucked on a breath and walked towards you, easily making his way back as all of the people who were standing there stepped aside to let him through. No one pushed him, no one yelled at him for stepping into their place. No one dared to disrespect him as they disrespected you.

In a matter of seconds, Luke was standing in front of you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to him. You felt like you could breathe again.

“You okay?” He asked, mumbling as he kissed your head. You heard the faintest “aww” coming from the fans witnessing this little gesture and confusing with something cute instead of what it was: he was shielding you from them, protecting you while comforting you the best he could. Yet, all you could hear was Luke’s beating heart as you hid your face in his chest.

“Let’s get out of here,” Luke said, tensing his whole body as he pulled you to the side, not letting go of his grip to your waist as you walked rapidly towards the exit.

You both ignored the calls and flashed from your surroundings. You could feel your breathing becoming heavier as you tried to keep up with his steps, not really relaxing until you saw the van’s door opening and Calum making space for the both of you.

You jumped inside the car and Luke quickly followed, closing the door and letting out a breath he was holding.

“So…” Ashton said, breaking the silence after they drove away “That was fun. Nothing like a little chaos to start the tour”

For the first time in your life, you wanted to punch his face. Your heart was still beating loudly inside your chest and they were all so calm. It truly seemed like they didn’t care that you just went through one of the scariest experiences of your life.

Yeah, you know you might be exaggerating. But it’s your first flight with the boys, first time in a foreign country, first time with a multitude of fans and photographers where they all pushed you to get to your boyfriend. And they were all fine? Like it wasn’t a big deal? And they say it was fun?

The chattering continued, all three of them talking about the fans they saw and how they reacted to them. Joking around and teasing each other for various reasons. No one noticed how your hands were shaking or how you didn’t say a word since you got up in the car.

You tried to steady your breath and to hide your hands somewhere until they were cool. You still feel a sting where one girl elbowed you, knowing it might leave a bruise. You tried to close your eyes and think about nice things to get you off your mind for a while, but all you could see was how Luke drifted away from you, going farther and farther as you lost sight of him; and no matter how hard you yelled his name, your voice was drowned and lost among all the others.

The tears started to pick up in your eyes and you held them back as hard as you could. You needed to be strong, this is just the first stop of the tour and you needed to toughen up if you want to keep up. You just hoped you could do it before anyone noticed it.

Luke was sitting beside you, not participating in the conversation of his bandmates, but rather he was looking at you and how your leg bounced up and down in a rapid motion.

He knew your mind must be going ten miles per hour at this moment. You weren’t used to this whole lifestyle and for that to be your first experience must be nerve-wracking. He wished he could just erase all those bad feelings and bring you the comfort you deserve.

“Hey,” He finally said, softly enough for you to hear as he leaned closer to you. Your eyes quickly snapped in his direction, finding some kind of peace in his baby blue eyes “Are you okay?”

He knew the answer was no, but he also knew you would never admit that, so it was no surprise when you smiled at him and nodded. Only this time the smile didn’t reach your eyes like they always do.

“You know just… a bit tired, that’s all,” You said, not wanting to worry him. But it was a little bit late for that and you noticed that the instant he furrowed his brows and gave you the ‘I know you’re lying’ look.

“Are you sure? Because that out there was pretty crazy and-“

“I’m fine, Luke” You reassured him, scooting closer to him and leaning against his frame. He immediately rounded his arm around your shoulder and started drawing circles on your skin with his thumb “I don’t really want to talk about it right now. I just need you close for a while, is that okay?”

Luke sighed and held you tighter “Yeah, of course, love. Whatever you need. You should try to get some sleep, I’m sorry we couldn’t buy you anything to eat back in the airport”

You look around you. All the boys were singing and joking around, not paying attention to you and Luke; making it difficult for you to just drift back to sleep.

“No, don’t worry. I’m okay. I’ll eat and sleep when we get to the hotel”

You watched the scenery pass by as the car drove you to your destination. You tried to focus on the conversations going around you, but you were too distracted by the beauty of it all.

It amazed you how after such a scary experience could come such comfort; you were surrounded by your best friends and your lover, experiencing new things and memories you knew you needed to treasure forever.

From time to time you could feel Luke staring at you, almost like he wanted to make sure you were okay and you would reassure him with soft smiles and little pecks on the cheeks as the other guys reminisced about their previous times abroad.

Suddenly, the car came to a stop and you found yourselves parked in a huge parking lot. You looked at Luke with a confused expression and he did the same. You didn’t know where you were.

“Uh, why are we stopping?” He asked as Calum and Ashton opened their doors and stepped out of the van.

“Because we are here?” Michael asked, not getting his friend’s confusion.

“This is the hotel?” You asked.

“This is the venue…” Michael said, pulling a lever so he could push Calum’s seat out of the way and step outside “We are not going to the hotel till tonight”

“What?!” Luke half asked, half yelled.

“Yeah, dude. We’re behind schedule so we need to do a quick soundcheck and then hop in the car and go do a couple of interviews in radio stations… did you not read the email?”

Luke facepalmed himself “No…” He lamented as he rubbed his face with the palm of his hand, then he looked at you with apologetic eyes “Oh my god, Y/N. I’m so sorry, love”

“It’s okay, Luke” It was not okay, you really wanted to take a nap and a shower before the show. But you couldn’t have avoided this at any cost and it wasn’t his fault at all, so there was no need to bring him down because of this.

“No! Of course, it’s not okay. You need to rest and eat a proper meal. This is it fair to you and I’m so sorry”

You could tell that he was kicking himself inside his head and you hated to see him all worked up and anxious. It broke your heart to see him so frustrated with himself.

Your palms cupped his face and made him look at you “Luke, baby. It’s fine, I promise. It will be fun! Plus, I can always nap on the couch” But he didn’t look conceived at all “I’ll be fine”

He sighed “Promise you will eat something there? And drink some water?”

You nodded with a smile “I promise. Now go! You have a soundcheck to kill” You winked at him and pecked his lips before jumping out of the van.

“What would I do without you?”

After the quick soundcheck, the boys changed clothes and got ready for an afternoon filled with interviews and quick appearances. It was going to be a wild ride, so you opted out of staying in the venue until they got back.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Luke asked for the tenth time.

“Of course she will!” Intervened Ashton “She’s Y/N/N, she can take care of herself”

You rolled your eyes at him and stared back at your boyfriend “I’ll be fine, love. I’ll just stay right here and maybe I’ll take a nap”

“And you know where the catering room is?”

You certainly didn’t, but he didn’t need to know that right now. You would manage well enough.

“Yes, dad” You teased

“Y/N!” Luke mocked a shocked expression “Not in front of the boys!”

You scoffed and lightly pushed him in the chest “You pig! Not everything has to be dirty!”

“You started it!”

“Go!” You laughed, kissing him one last time “Give your fans some content”

You saw the four of them walk through the door and you let out an exhausted breath. This is the first time you allowed yourself to relax since you boarded the plane almost 24 hours ago and you were beyond tired at this point.

How did they do it? Fly across the world and still look like superstars, what kind of deal did they make, and with whom?

You looked around the green room, your eyes landing on your reflection. You physically cringed at the image in front of you; dark heavy bags rested under your eyes and your hair, although pulled back, seemed oily and tangled in knots; your clothes had wrinkles in them and you seriously regretted sending your luggage directly to the hotel, leaving you with this shirt, a hoodie, and your black jeans.

A sigh escaped your lips as you tried to think of nice things; things that would keep your mind out of overthinking every single detail that has gone wrong since the minute you left home. How were you supposed to prove that you belong on the tour if you couldn’t even handle the first day? You needed to gain your energy back before the guys came back, and what better medicine than a little nap?

You moved Ashton’s heavy bag from one corner of the couch and laid on your back, but the awaited relief never came. You tossed and turned in different positions, hissing every time the warm leather glued itself to your skin only for it to be peeled off with every movement.

The sounds from outside of the room grew louder as the crew hurried to put everything in its place on time for the show. People were running in and outside the green room, not paying attention to you laying on the couch trying to find an ounce of sleep as they focused on their tasks.

You don’t know how long it’s been and, honestly, you’re afraid to ask. It was clear that you were not going to get any sleep here, not while everyone’s acting frantic because of a scheduling mishap and not while your mind is still preoccupied trying to keep up instead of relaxing as Luke told you to do.

You tried one last time to get at least a five-minute nap, but it was almost impossible. You opened your eyes with a groan and got up, so frustrated that you didn’t even feel the burn on your skin when you separated yourself from the uncomfortable couch.

The second your feet touched the ground and you lifted yourself on your feet, everything started to spin. You felt how your blood seemed to have disappeared from your body, leaving only a carcass that couldn’t stand for itself, making you fall on your ass back into the couch.

You felt nauseous, but the growling in your stomach reminded you that you haven’t eaten in all day. You had to eat something before you passed out, but the mere thought of eating made you feel even dizzier if that was possible.

You counted to ten, ignoring the way your head pounded with loud warnings and stood up. It took you a few seconds to find your balance again, but once you started walking you felt like you couldn’t stop.

You got out of the room, not really knowing where the catering was but you were determined to get there. You couldn’t let Luke and the rest see you like that, so weak and pathetic. It’s just day one and you are already passing out? How stupid is that!

The loud bangs in your head increased with every step you took, soon becoming voices that screamed inside your mind, drowning every ounce of clarity you might have; turning to the right and then to the left, then to the end of the hallway and back to the right. Did you even know where you were going?

Did you even know why you were here?

It was bound to happen, sooner or later, that Luke would ask you to accompany him on tour. Bet he is regretting that decision now. You tried, you really tried to be the supporting girlfriend, but how could you be of any support when you were the one who needed it? He didn’t come here to be your nanny and yet all he’s done is worry about you! You should be able to take care of yourself, yet you can’t even do that for him.

What a terrible girlfriend you were. He will surely break up with you and send you back home on the next flight. He didn’t need this kind of energy, this cloud of darkness you were becoming, ready to drown out his light with your problems. If only you could do better for him. For Luke.

Luke, the simple thought of him brought you to the brink of tears. You loved him so much, so much that it hurt to love him yet at the same time it was the best comfort in the world just to be standing by his side. You wanted to be by his side and never let go, but you were pushing away from him. Your mind and meaningless needs were separating you from him, telling you that he deserves someone better, more equipped to handle the lifestyle you weren’t ready for.

He is the brightest star in the universe and you are just a firefly, trying hard to be something you’d never be and everyone can see it. The fans see it, the media sees it and even your friends will someday. They will realize that you were nothing more than a girl who just hoped she could be enough but ended up becoming one more burden to carry with.

You couldn’t survive out here, not right now, and not without Luke. You are falling and you feel like if you stay you might drown him with you. You were disappointing him right now, pacing around the-

Where the fuck were you?

The voice inside your head died down as you didn’t recognize the place where you were standing.

You were supposed to be on your way to catering, and you were… but you didn’t know where it was and now you don’t know where you are.

Great.

The screams of the fans reverberated through the walls of the narrow hallway, you only now realize that the doors must be open and the show is about to start. You brought a hand to your back pocket, thinking about calling Luke and telling him your situation and asking him how to get to where they were. But your pockets were flat and your phone was nowhere to be seen, you must’ve left it in the greenroom.

“Fuck!” You yelled, voice hoarse from not having drunk anything since this morning. You looked to your left and there was just a blank wall staring back at you with no way out. You thought about going back, but you weren’t paying attention to where you were heading, so you risked the fact of getting more lost before someone could find you.

Fuck it.

You turned around and started walking, faster and faster. You were almost jogging through the deserted hallways trying to find your way back. You were panicking with every turn, every curve. To the right, then left, then a left, and a right again. You could hear the faintest riff of a guitar, so you speed up your pace. Your exhaustion had nothing compared to the fear in the pit of your stomach, you needed to get back. You needed to be there for Luke, to find your way back.

The desperation you held inside made you ignore the tears that were spilling out of your eyes without permission. You didn’t want to be alone anymore in a place you don’t know. You are sure your mind is playing tricks on you, making the hallways longer and the seconds everlasting, constantly repeating in your head how you were nothing more than a little lost girl who was playing something she shouldn’t. Something she wouldn’t ever be.

People passed you as you turned around corners, your heart beating loud as you recognized some faces from the crew, getting closer and closer to where you were supposed to be.

And finally, you arrived.

You let out a breath, you didn’t know if it was from relief or just a way to drown out the sob that was threatening to come out. You made a move to open the door but you noticed your hands were shaking. A cold feeling ran through your body, making you shiver as you wiped your sweaty palms on the front of your jeans. You were so close but why did you feel so far away? Drifting and drifting further and further….

What was happening?

“Y/N?”

You heard your name being called by a familiar voice. You lifted your head and saw Michael standing at the door of the green room, his eyes scanning you carefully. You swore you could see a hint of fear in them. He quickly moved out of the way, opening the door wider so you could step in.

You lifted your gaze, your teary eyes meeting Luke’s as he stood in the middle of the room, pacing back and forward with his phone in his hand, gripping it so tightly you thought it might crack.

“There you are!” He said, pressing a button on his screen. He was smiling, relief visible on his features as his eyes took you in “I’ve been looking for you, the opening band already started playing and- Y/N?”

Suddenly, everything stopped. Luke’s eyes denoted fear as he saw you collapse to your knees the moment you stepped into the room. He saw everything happen in slow motion: the way you wrapped your arms around your stomach; the shaking of your entire frame as you let out a heavy breath mixed with a sob; and the tears in your eyes as you tried to make sense of what was happening to you.

He acted fast. In one swift move, he was kneeling in front of you, taking you in his arms as he pulled you closer to his chest “She’s having a panic attack!” He said, loud enough for everyone in the room to hear, but none of his friends moved as they were still shocked by the image of you falling into the ground.

“Michael!” He called, remembering that people act better in an emergency if given direct orders “Go find a doctor. Ashton, bring her something to eat. And Calum, find water and soda. She’s dehydrated and needs some sugar”

All three of them didn’t think twice before jumping out of their seats and running through the halls to find those things for you. But you couldn't hear any of that.

“I’m sorry,” You cried, over and over again “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“Shh, love” Luke cooed, lifting you and sitting back down on the couch, placing you on his lap as he rocked you back and forwards “It’s okay love. Nothing to be sorry for, I’m here. I’m here”

You kept crying into his chest, struggling to breathe as every sob seemed to tear your throat in two. You knew Luke was touching you, but you couldn’t feel his hands anywhere as you shook through your cries.

“Baby- Y/N, listen to me. Okay?” He said with a calming voice, completely contrasting how he was feeling inside “Listen to my voice, baby. Breathe with me, okay? One,” He inhaled deeply, his finger tracing a line up your back so you could follow him “Two” He exhaled, bringing his finger down “Good, do that again, please? One, two”

He was trying so hard not to panic along with you. Seeing you so frail in his arms made his heart break into a million pieces. He didn’t know what was going on in your mind or why or what you were apologizing for. All he knows is that he would do anything not to hear your broken cries again, so desperate and hopeless. He would do anything to make sure you are alright and safe.

You imitated Luke’s breathing pattern as close as you could. Breathing in and out every time he asked until you could feel his finger running up and down your spine, his touch finally bringing some comfort to your body and mind as they recognized him. They recognized home.

Your cries died down the moment Michael stepped through the door accompanied by a nurse, Ashton, and Calum who all brought some type of food and drink to lay down on the table.

Luke made some space so the nurse could sit down next to you, but he never once let go of you or stopped moving his finger on your back. He needed you to know that he was still here and he was not going anywhere.

“She seems good,” The nurse said after quickly giving you a check-up “It was just a panic attack. You did well in calming her down” He said to Luke, giving him a pat on the back “I’m gonna leave here some pills for her to take once she eats and drinks something, these will help with the body ache and headache she will feel later and also will help her sleep”

The four men thanked the nurse as Michael closed the door again. All eyes were fixed on you as you rested your head on Luke’s shoulder, eyes closed as your breathing became even and lighter again.

“Is that-? Is that a half-eaten burger?” Calum asked, pointing to the table filled with foods and drinks, and breaking the silence that had set upon them.

“I panicked!” Ashton answered.

“Could you guys give us a moment, please?” Luke asked, eyes never leaving your face as he held you closer. His friends nodded and walked out of the room, leaving the two of you alone.

“I’m sorry, bub,” You said, voice broken and soft.

You slowly opened your eyes and suddenly felt like crying again when you met Luke’s gaze. Surprised at the fact that he didn’t seem angry; all you could see in his eyes was a relief.

“Why are you sorry, love?” He asked, voice as soft as yours as he caressed your cheeks with the back of his free hand “You have nothing to apologize for. These things happen and we can’t really avoid them”

“No,” You said, pushing away from him as you separated from his lap and went to sit on the spot next to him.

Luke’s heart broke at your actions, but it completely shattered when he saw the tears picking up in your eyes again.

“I’m sorry for ruining everything” Your voice broke as you started talking “I’m sorry for being one more burden in this tour that hasn’t even started yet. Look at me! Not even a day in and I’m already falling apart! This is not what you expected of me, Luke and don’t try to deny it. I’ve disappointed you, the band, myself-”

“You did not do such a thing” He tried to say, but you weren’t listening.

“Maybe I’m not meant for this” Your words took his breath right out of his mouth, he didn’t like where this conversation was going “Maybe I’m better off at home. At least there I’m not embarrassing myself in airports or with your fans or with your bandmates and crew- I want to be someone you would be proud of but all I do is overthink every little thing that I forget the rest. I tried so hard to keep up, to prove to you and the others and even myself that I could belong here on tour; that I could live this life with ease as you all do and I just keep failing everyone. I love you, Luke. But I can’t stand the thought of slowing you or pulling you down with me, and you don’t deserve to be tied up with some mess like me-”

Your words were cut off by Luke’s lips clashing with yours. It took you a minute to respond and kiss him back, letting all your worries slip away for only one minute. Only one minute where you could pretend that everything was alright.

Luke pulled away first, placing his forehead against yours “You uplift me, Y/N”

“What?”

He cupped your cheeks, making you look at him as he spoke with such care and love.

“You could never bring me down, you are the one keeping me above the water, my love. I deserve to be with you as much as you deserve to be right here with us”

“Luke-”

“It’s my fault,” He said with a sad voice, you opened your mouth to say something but he beat you to it “Don’t try to deny it, Y/N. It’s true. I should’ve prepared you more for what was coming instead of throwing you into the lion's den without a single warning. I knew from the moment I saw your face in the crowd back at the airport that I had failed you, not the other way around. But you stayed, you pulled through and told me that it was okay when it clearly wasn’t. Y/N, you are stronger than any of us and much more caring and loving… I’m so proud of you and that I get to call you to mine that sometimes I can’t even believe it”

He carefully wiped a tear from your cheek, his heart fluttering with joy at seeing you smile back at him “I love you. And if you say that you are not ready for this, then I will book you a flight tonight. I don’t want to see you in pain, my love, even if you try to hide it. I couldn’t stand the thought of being the one who breaks you” He took a moment, thinking over his words “But if you decide to stay. I promise you I will make every single minute of it worth it. I’ll protect you better. I’ll do my best to take care of you the same way you take care of me. You’re my angel, Y/N. And I need you close”

Tears were falling down your eyes again as you pulled him closer into a hug. Luke quickly swung your legs over his lap and held you as tight as he could, almost fearing that you would slip off his embrace if he ever let you go.

You could hear him mumbling something as he rocked the two of you back and forwards again, this time to comfort you both. You pulled your head slightly from his chest so you could hear him better, he was singing the words from “Still”, your favorite Niall Horan’s song.

”Oh, we'll be alright

Oh, it'll be alright”

You always loved when he sang to you, always bringing you the sense of peace you so much needed.

But as you cuddled closer you noticed that not only was he singing, but you could also hear the guitar, the melody, the crowd…

Luke noticed your confusion and chuckled “I asked the opener to cover this song for us; for you. Wanted to surprise you on your first day”

You swore your smile couldn’t get bigger if you tried. Your eyes filled with tears as you chuckled “Well,” You said, sniffing as you knocked your forehead to his “I can’t wait to see what other surprises you got for the rest of the tour”

Luke’s eyes sparkled with the happiness of a little boy on Christmas day “You’re staying?”

You nodded “As long as you want me to”

“Forever, then” He smiled before connecting your lips with his once again. Letting go of all your worries, for all you could feel was love.

The concert was going great. You were convinced this was their best show up to date, but you were saying that since the tour began two months ago.

Luke stayed true to his promise of making everyday worth it. Although you knew that every day that you woke up next to him, whether it was in a bunk or a plane or a hotel bed, that it was worth more than enough. You were home, wherever you went, as long as you had him.

You smiled, laughed, and danced along with the songs on your side of the stage, looking proudly at your boyfriend who lived to do what he loved. But your favorite moment of the night was this; seconds before he started their next song, he would look for your eyes backstage and once he’s found you, he would smile at you and say.

“This is ‘Lover of mine’, everyone. Sing with your heart”

Tags : @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @sarcasticallywitty15 @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @notinthesameguey @bubblegum18 @myloverboyash @nicebasscalum @calumspupils

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ruvatia · 3 years

Note

Sorry if this is a bit much with everything going on, but could I request a scenario where the Paladins + Matt & Lotor have a black s/o and they’re scared abt everything that’s happening in their country and are sad that racial injustice is happening? I’ve been rlly worried the past few days, but if this is smth too uncomfy I understand ;w; Thank you 💖💖💖

This got really long, I apologize but I turned it into half-headcanons with just the main paladins-- i apologize for not doing all the characters you’ve mentioned, but I don’t think they would fit all in a single post anyways www

On another note I hope you and every other reader take good care of their mental health; it’s important to be aware of what’s going on but it’s also important to be in the right mindspace to be able to tackle everything that’s being shared. It’s pain that’s been boiling for a very long time and there is absolutely no shame in taking some downtime to recover before heading back into current issues.

SHIRO:

If you were saddened, Shiro would suggest that maybe you switch to something else; if there was something that he knows will distract you and temporarily have you be a little more at ease, he’d do that!

But also maybe add a little twist-- extra soft blankets (fresh out of the oven! Screw the bills you’re worth it), extra cheese on your favorite dish, whatever it is that can make your smile a little wider, bigger or brighter just let him know!

Would give you hugs if you asked, but usually Shiro pets your head and brushes your cheek for comfort

He also does this when he wants to ask something of you, but thats another story

Why the TV was still on was a mystery to you, you’d stopped listening a long time ago. Your partner besides you noticed, and you felt the hand around your shoulder tighten his grip a little, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Hey, maybe we should watch something else?” he asked softly, brushing your cheek with his hand. “I can’t really listen to this anymore.”

“Yeah… Sure.” you replied, though it felt like an automated response more than your actual opinion.

“Okay, I’ll switch to that weird show Pidge recorded the other day, we agreed to watch it, right?” he replied, quickly grabbing the remote to change the program.

The first episode started playing, but the moment that it did, you felt cold as Shiro left your side.

“Where are you going?” you asked, your interlaced fingers the only thing keeping him close.

“Ah, I thought I’d make us something. We both kinda skipped dinner….”

He’d thought about putting something together that you’d like, maybe order dessert to surprise you but seeing the look on your face, leaving your side was the hardest thing to do right now.

So he gave in, and your both fell asleep until the doorbell rang with your delivery.

KEITH:

I have this headcanon that Keith isn’t very good with physical touch but after the end of voltron and after enough time of humanitarian relief, he learns how important it is for someone that’s in a specific state of mind

So the best he has to offer when his words fail is physical touch

Over your time together he’s learned what you need depending on your mood, and it helped him out lots when you were more vocal about it-- if anything he liked it when you asked for things that he could easily deliver, he’d do anything to see you smile

A hand came over your phone screen, Keith’s fingers lacing into yours and making you drop the device onto the crevices of the sofa.

“Why did you--”

“You’ve been staring at that thing for the past hour, biting at your nails.” he said in a worried tone. “That’s enough. We’re going to bed.”

“But it’s just--”

“We’re going to bed.” he repeated in a harsher tone, lifting you off your seat.

Keith sat down onto the bed first, pulling you into him. You both fell onto the bed, Keith quickly pulling the covers over your shoulders before his arms came around you.

“My alarm is my phone.”

“That’s nice, but we both know we have nothing to do tomorrow.” he replied right away, making you chuckle.

“Keith…” you called, your hands sneaking up to his face.

You brushed away some of his hair from his face as he gave you a complicated expression, unable to reflect the small smile you wore. He knew things were shit outside, that being apart from your family and other loved ones was a toll on both you and that lately negative thoughts have plagued you more often than not but Keith, despite his good intention was still somewhat of an awkward man.

“Thank you.”

He kissed you in reply and you both left it at that, glad that he had someone like you to meet him halfway.

LANCE:

Lots of hugs the moment he feels something is off with you

Will be a brat™ for the sole purpose of distracting you, bET

I feel like post-series Lance tries his best to be as observant as Allura and tries to understand others better-- but it didn't take a genius or incredible empath to know why your eyes looked like they were about to overflow at the sight of the news.

I’d like to think that Lance, with a big connected family is one of the paladins that very easily gets what you’re going through, wouldn’t be surprised he’s been called one or two things in his past either

That being said it doesn’t mean that he completely understands your personalized struggles with racial injustices that you encounter everyday; as another minority himself + coming from a culture and upbringing that might be different than yours, its a very different experience.

Memories flooded as the news anchor spoke about “lootings” and as you scrolled down your feed to see feeble attempts at sympathy from local peacekeepers. You sigh and retweet another thread, only to find something equally as shocking right after. You stopped commenting in quote retweets a while ago, you felt like you were constantly repeating that none of this was okay and that a reform was desperately needed. Rather than typing out your thoughts you typed out your name, address and email over and over again, signing one petition after the other.

Hearing sigh after sigh, Lance eventually put an arm around your shoulder. He startled you, but his soft voice made both your shoulders and your guard lower.

“Hey, do you want to make a midnight snack with me? I’m getting kinda hungry.”

“What about that new rule we were talking about? Not eating 4 hours before we went to bed?”

“Every diet has one or two cheat days, don’t they?” he replied, kissing one of your eyelids. “Come on, I’m sure your neck is sore from being like that for so long.”

In the end you both made some soul-food until a food-coma knocked you out until tomorrow. In the morning, you realized that Lance must’ve woken up in the middle of the night because you remember cuddling on the couch, and yet you’re waking up on the bed. Of course, still in his arms.

HUNK:

Having a sensible heart, I feel like both you and hunk would struggle a little about maintaining a healthy distance with current events.

Though overtime he would understand that keeping in touch with everything that’s going on is important, but not at the sake of burning out

His best bet, to him, to pull you out of a such a dark space is with comfort food

“Ok ppl feel like they want to eat a horse but they actually cant when they’re in that mind space Hunk, let’s make something sweet and small; something direct and straight to the point! Let’s add smiley faces on it!”

Your turned down the volume from the news, let your head fall backwards and brought up your forearm over your closed eyes. It felt warm and made it you realize that you had probably been staring very intensely at the screen as a wave of comfort hit your eyes the moment they were drowned in darkness. Letting out a deep breath, you stilled and let yourself bask in your thoughts until a familiar voice brought you back.

“Maybe a little bit more sugar? No, then it would be disbalanced. The base is already so sweet-- Ah, I have to take the cupcakes out or else they might get burned!”

You felt a smile grow on your lips, making you ignore the horrid news being broadcasted to turn to your partner that as usual, seemed to juggle ten thousand things to create a whole meal.

“What’s going on over here?” you asked, leaning over the counter to note that one of your favorite dishes was made and machines that were mostly used for baking had been brought out.

“Oh you know, just a little pick me up for my most favorite person ever.” he shrugged, but a smile soon came to his face. His hands were full but he leaned over, his lips meeting your cheek. “Things outside are a little dark, so I thought we could both use a little something nice.”

He turned on the machine after dropping a drop of dye to make it your favorite color and within a few minutes the icing was finished. Hunk scooped up a small amount on his finger and brought it to his lips and nod.

“Wanna taste?” he asked you, his finger dipping into the icing.

A mischievous grin spread on your features as you took his wrist and let his finger fall on your tongue, the sweetness quickly spreading through your mouth. The yellow paladin shivered as you let his digit hang in your mouth for longer than necessary, letting out a satisfied hum when you returned it to him.

“Tastes perfect.”

PIDGE:

She knew what could be fixed, she knew how to fix it but this meant she was also aware of how long such a transition would take

I think Pidge would be similar to Shiro: whatever she remembers that helps you be at ease, she would defect to that in hopes to maybe distract you for a while.

I don’t think Pidge is a very touchy person either, so if she reaches out to you _physically_ in worry, it’s a very clear sign she’s serious/anxious

I feel like she would reach out in other ways and then if she knew you were in a specific state of mind where touch was not useful, or if she just also wanted to try things out lol

As you watched the twisted information that was being shared on screen, another message caught your attention. Rather than a small red icon in the corner, a small window appeared in the middle of your computer screen.

The video had stopped, every horrible gif about police brutality was paused and there was nothing else but the small window pidge had thrown onto your screen. You chuckled, and felt a pressure behind your working chair.

Another message popped up.

<You’ve been catching up with twitter for the past two hours. Surely you’re done now?>

A soft laugh came from you, making Pidge release a breath she didn’t know she was holding. You typed out an answer:

<Okay, but half of them are just cat videos and the other half are just retweets of said videos.>

You both laughed, before Pidge turned around and tapped your shoulder. She let her hand float in the air, yours coming to join it as a soon as your turned her way.

“Wanna take a nap?” she asked, letting her head fall onto your shoulder. “I had Chip make some hot chocolate, Hunk style.”

You squeezed her hand, putting your computer on sleep mode.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

#voltron writings #shiro x reader #takashi shirogane x reader #keith x reader #keith kogane x reader #lance x reader #lance mcclain x reader #hunk x reader #hunk garett x reader #pidge x reader #katie holt x reader #for context this was requested around june 2020 #its a year late and thata my fault wjdjan

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ourstarscollided · 2 years

Text

So it’s been a little bit since we found out that JATP has been cancelled and I’ve been trying to process how I’m feeling. And honestly, it’s a little hard because in the back of my mind, I knew this was coming and yet, when I saw Kenny’s post I just didn’t want it to be true. There was this ache in my heart that I truly just can’t explain.

I won’t lie, I’m devastated that this is the final outcome after waiting over a year for news. I feel hurt and sad and frustrated and angry and confused. And I think it’s absolutely human of us to try to find people and things to blame or to try to think of logical reasons why it was cancelled. Because this show? This show was more than just a “kids show” to me. Gosh, this show felt like a lifeline being handed to me during the past two years, which have been the most uncertain and confusing time of my life. It sat me down for a mere 4 hours and told me to that it was okay to feel everything and to let love in and that sometimes, people come into your life when you least expect it to and change your life.

(Under a read more because this turned out way longer than I thought it’d be. I am going through it. Let me be.)

For a long time, I was not a part of fandom. Simply because life got in the way and there were some past experiences that put me off on ever really getting involved with an online community. But when I finished the show, I felt this weird little pull to see if maybe other people felt as strongly as I did about this brilliant female character and her ghost band. And boy oh boy did I find a very engaging and incredibly talented fandom when I finally remembered my Tumblr password. I was so astounded by the sheer impact this tiny little show had on other people (and right from the beginning!!), and there was just something in me that said I should stick around.

So I did. And boy am I glad that I did.

At the start, I innocently told myself that I could just simply reblog some things, maybe get it out of my system after a week or so. But something about the show and the characters and the stories and the music just would not let go of me. I found myself suddenly thinking about Alex and Reggie’s backstories. I was trying to piece together the connection between Rose and the boys. I was putting the characters into different stories and universes. I could visualize all these missing scenes from the show.

I didn’t realize it at that time, but it was like a spark had relit inside of me, igniting something. I was creating again, which was something I hadn’t thought about or done in years.

And then I started this little sideblog as a way for me to stay organized and kinda just poke my head around the fandom. I’ve still managed to keep my presence here how I want it to, on the sidelines and in the tags, but I’ve also somehow been able to connect with a small amount of people who have brought so much laughter and joy into my life through our shared connection of the show. I have gained new friends because of jatp and that’s something I never thought I could do again in a fandom.

I think it’s so easy to just wallow in the sadness and confusion. Heck, I laid on the floor of my room for a couple hours yesterday while listening to the soundtrack and fighting back tears every time I remembered we weren’t getting a season 2. But at the same time, I can’t help but stop myself from also being so so happy.

And it all comes down to the fact that I remember that this show simply e x i s t s. We have 9 beautifully written episodes about dealing with grief, finding family in other people, opening up to others, leaning on your friends and family. We got an amazing female POC as a lead who was allowed to just be a teenager and be surrounded by people who love and support her. We got an anxious boy who struggled with his sexuality who realized that they have not yet met all the ghosts people who will love him. We saw a runaway teen with a life cut short get to “fix” the thing he regretted the most and a second shot to live his dream. We see a beautiful and positive relationship between a father and his kids, who’s going through his own grieving process, but still shows them love and support in every way. We see the people who aren’t blood-related who stick around because they know you are more than the worst parts of yourself, because they know who you are when you are finally free and can shine. We have that.

We also get to revisit this show and its characters a million times over in different mediums, and that’s all in part due to the wonderful (and let’s be real, sometimes messy) fandom. I am constantly blown away by the astounding amount of amazing content created by this fandom. From the fanart to the gifsets to the graphics to the fics to the headcanons and the drabbles to the silly little text posts to memes to fanvids to songs and covers to cosplay to brilliant rambles in the tags and everything in between. There has been so much joy and comfort brought into my life because of you wonderful wonderful people.

So much has been created because of this show and that is not something a cancellation can take away from us. Ever.

This announcement feels like the ending of something, but it’s definitely not the end of this fandom. The jatp fandom has basically been running itself since its inception, and I don’t think anything will change that now. I hope you keep on creating and pouring your love into these characters because I know for myself, this show will forever be a constant inspiration for me and I don’t think that’ll ever really go away.

This show belongs to us, it always has, and forever will.

Legends on three?

1…

2…

3….

#jatp #this is so stupidly long and i dont think ANYONE will read this but just wanted to have this here on this blog.#shoutout to anyone who can be eloquent with their words. i cant do that sksj #gosh. i just. i dont know what to do with all these emotions. esp after watching spiderman yesterday and then seeing all the photos and #videos from the convention in Paris. and the immense amount of love being shared in this fandom since yesterday has been really wonderful.#JUST OVERALL FEELING VERY DEVASTATED #anyways. I’m going through it.#listening to the soundtrack juat hits different now I think #and to the people who’ve interacted with me and still do in any sort of capacity: thank you. you’ve made my life immensely better just by #simply being in it.#i also have a crazy amount of likes to queue from the past like 6 months so you should expect to continue to see extremely dated content #well into 2022!!#personal

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serendistudy · 3 years

Photo

30.7.2021 | friday

i haven’t been posting very actively for like four months now and i thought i’d write a sort of a life update blog post just to record what’s been going on! so, more rambling under the cut ~

(also for a while i’ve been wanting to try a different kind of theme/aesthetic for my posts so this is me trying it out!)

(mental illness mention tw)

i took a bit of a social media break for a few months this spring/summer. i didn’t really have a specific goal for my break, as in i didn’t do it to be more productive or to then talk about all the awesome, productive things that i’ve gotten done in the time that i gained from not being on social media. honestly, what i did with the extra time was Absolutely Nothing. and i’m very happy about that. i was able to actually relax, not just mindlessly scroll through instagram without gaining anything from it. i listened to a lot of music, like whole albums by bands that i love. i hadn’t just listened to an album without doing anything else for SO LONG and it was actually really nice and relaxing, and definitely something that being pretty addicted to social media was keeping me from doing.

i’m still not returning to instagram but i did actually feel like coming back to tumblr because i know that studyblr actually motivates me. i start my 3rd year in uni this fall and i wanted to come back here to record my uni journey again. i’m still not being too optimistic about returning to in-person classes this fall because it seems like the situation isn’t getting much better here. but we’ll see. i’m also not very excited about physically returning to uni because of certain mental health issues that i also want to discuss here a little bit.

i’ve been going to therapy for a short while now. i’ve struggled with anxiety and panic attacks for as long as i can remember and this whole covid situation has made things even worse for me and brought back my ocd habits. i’ve had trouble getting out of the house a lot because it has felt like too much. that’s why i’m also kinda terrified of starting in-person classes again. i haven’t enjoyed online uni at all but at least i’ve been able to continue my studies from home without having to go anywhere. but being in therapy, i’m working on this whole thing. and i’ve made progress, too. i was able to go shopping for a little while this week. up until now i’ve only done the necessary shopping and i haven’t felt comfortable staying in places for too long. so, it’s not much, but it’s progress to me to be able to shop for some nice clothes etc. and knowing i have new clothes i like makes it easier to go to places because at least i’m feeling confident in what i’m wearing.

i wanted to be open about these experiences of mine from the past year and a half because on studyblr i see a lot of people saying they can’t wait to return to in-person classes, which i totally get bcs online uni is exhausting af. but i just couldn’t relate to that and i wanted to talk about the other perspective of feeling terrified about physically returning to school. i think that excitement and fear about returning to in-person classes can also co-exist: i do wish i could physically go to uni again soon but it also makes me feel really anxious.

it’s nice that you actually read my rambles this far. i’ve wanted to write a post like this for a long time now and i finally gathered that courage. my asks and messages are always open if anyone wants to talk. sending lots of love to anyone out there also struggling 💌

#studyblr #bujo #bulletnotestudies #lookrylie #problematicprocrastinator #philologystudying #studyvan #myhoneststudyblr #heypat #heyvenustudy #mine

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bokunosoul · 3 years

Note

overhaul with a sibling who's a lot like yushiro from demon slayer? how would he react if they were attending ua behind his back? love that there's another demon slayer fan!

Overhaul reacts to brother reader that is like Yushiro from Demon slayer attending UA behind his back

TW : Human trafficking, mentions of blood

So lets set this scene, you are basically Overhaul's brother and you lived under his control you also have no freedom and has no idea what is the outside world is like.

One time you disobeyed you ended up being on the surgerical bed and all day long and he tortured you almost to d̶e̶a̶t̶h̶ he also injected a couple of illegal medicines on you.

You and eri are also in the same boat.He conducted many researches and experiments on both of your bodies and sells the drugs that he made on both of you in the black market.

You are also Eri's caretaker since the day she was brought in the yakuza - mansion.Yoy the one she can rely on the even in hardest times even though when she can't express her feelings well.

You actually also dont know about you and Eri's quirk that much.But your "so called" brother said that it is powerful and they both needed you on his league.

Days, weeks, months passed you had enough and decided to take along Eri with you to escape.You conducted a whole plan to escape.Thankfully your observant and know the basics on how to make an sleeping pill.

Every night your brother commands you to make him food smth like that.You, an pharmaceutical genius ended up drugging him without noticing.

T̶o̶o̶ b̶a̶d̶.He's too sharp.

You ended up running with Eri while Overhaul commands his team to capture you and the scared little girl.

The last thing you know is you and Eri getting surrounded by overhauls underlings.You started fighting back even without knowing what exactly how your quirk works.Blood and several broken bones is the consequences that you received.

Your in the verge of giving up, you were naive and weak as an 12 year old boy protecting an 3 year old girl.

Then suddenly you exploded blood and several human organs surrounded the whole shie-hassaikai base also the scared little girl's screamed echoed throught the base.

But why, why can you still feel your whole body even when your dead.The last thing you knew Eri was taken away and everyone was disposing of your blood and your body.

Your body ended up getting thrown to the river carelessly, your body that has been exploded piece by piece also ended up regenerating and ended up being normal again.You also don't feel pain.So you thought.This is my quirk huh?

A sigh of relief and hot blood comes rushing in through your veins as you ended up not being able to bring Eri along with you.

You did not cried at all.Crying is pointless and staying like this is also worthless.

The thing that first comes into mind is you going to turn yourself in to the child welfare services.You introduced yourself as an child sold by your family and you also introduced yourself with an fake name to hide your real identity.

You ended up being adopted by an family living in the city.You don't care at all as you long you can have revenge and save your sister and you will together escape this madness again.

You also go to know how to use your quirk well and uncover many secrets about it.

Your adoptive parents also started noticing on how quite your good at using your quirk so they ended up home schooling you.They were shocked you were such an intelligent obedient child they also treated you like their own.

You feel kinda safe,warm and comfortable at the same time.You also can't help to feel bad and burdened on how you abandoned Eri.Your living in heaven while she's experiencing hell.What a good brother you are you asked to yourself.

3 years passed you basically got into UA due to hardwork and determination You became also strong and your appearance drastically changed.

Meanwhile everyone UA aims to be number one and your goal is to save your sister from your pathethic brother.You also kept an low profile of yourself to hide your existence.

You actually ended up getting along with most of the class especially to Midoriya.You dont know why because he just gives the scent that you can trust him and he's a good person.

Also the girls in the class likes you because you respect them and also beat that little shit up by being a huge pervert.(if you know you know)

Time passes by and eventually their will be an upcomming event, the UA sports festival.Everyone in the class is excited meanwhile you are anxious, your identity will exposed and all your hardwork will go down the drain.

It does'nt matter,your much stronger and confident now.The sports festival came to an end and everyone gathered at the classroom for an sudden meeting. To be honest you did great on the event but you did not manage to get through the top 3 rankings.

You ended up getting an reccomendation to a hero agency.You accepted the reccomendation and it was basically for a month to get better and stronger.

Everything happened so fast, you ended up getting an reccomendation and accepting it and getting attacked by the villains.So UA decided to just make an dorm system to make sure that the students are safe at all times.

Aizawa announced that there will be an hero internship and you ended up getting back to the agency that trained you a few months ago.

Everyday is like usual you did multiple patrols, go to school to study and mostly can't sleep in the night.

You and so as the others like uraraka, tsuyu, midoriya, kirishima ended up being summoned at Nighteye's agency.

Their were many pro heroes as well your teacher, Aizawa is here.You can sense that the situation is quite serious and Midoriya and Mirio is acting weird and you can also sense fear in them.

Nighteye's sidekick bubble girl and centipeder explained that there is a villain on the loose.You lost your complexion, you felt sick and scared.All of your memories in hell projected throughout your head "Y/N - san are you okay? your complexion does'nt seem too good." tsuyu said in an concerned voice.

You replied, that your okay and you said that you've never ever seen something brutal.

As they've continue on nighteye mentioned that overhaul or also known as kai chisaki has an daughter.

You snapped and standed up while shaking " What seems to be your problem Mr.L/N?" nighteye said in his intimidating voice,everyone was staring at you like your crazy.

"I-i have something to confess." you said as your voice trembled

"And what is that?"

"My brother is Overhaul."

"Y/N - san you must be mistake----."

"NO! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR GETTING INTO, AND THE WORST CASE SCENARIO IF YOU GOT SHOT BY THOSE DRUG YOUR QUIRK WILL BE DESTROYED AND WORSE SOMEONE WILL DIE!" you yelled and everyone stared at you with disgusted faces and even in disbelief

"So your saying that your in hands with Overhaul or your so called brother?"

"No... I tried escaping with Eri but she was taken away and my body exploded in pieces and my body parts ended up being thrown carelessly through the river,thanks to my quirk i can basically regenerate and create an new identity.However i did not accomplished on taking her with me.AND DONT YOU DARE IMPLY MYSELF WITH THAT MANIPULATIVE PATHETHIC MAN DONT YOU KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE BEING TORTURED EVERYDAY?EVERYDAY IS HELL AND IF WE MAKE A MISTAKE ONE FLICK OF THAT BULLET YOUR BASICALLY AN DEADMAN WALKING!AND I HATE SEEING PEOPLE DIE IN HIS HANDS!" you yelled in frustration.

Your classmates, stared at you in disbelief you are the most calm and composed person in every situation but in this situation, they did not know that you we're in despair.

"S-sorry, with that said.He thinks that i'm dead but no and i'm not affiliated with him anymore, plus the last time we saw eachother is 3 years ago."

"So please, i beg you save my sister she's all i have." you said as you bowed to the ground showing pure respect.

Nighteye sighed and he said he saw that coming and commanded you to tell everything that he did to you amd Eri and about their Yakuza gang.He also said to keep an distance and do not fight in the infiltration of their base.He also said to Aizawa to protect you.You agreed, it's the least thing that you can do to help in this kind of situation.

The day comes and you were basically watched by Aizawa eyes wide open (Lmao i just remembered i cant stop me and cry for me #Once #Twice).

You ended up not taking it anymore and sneaking out of the UA teacher dorm without anyone noticing.

You have no problem in making it through the base but you have to fight multiple of villains tho.You ended up seeing the sight of the ruined base and seeing your brother and Mirio fighting over the little girl.

"OVERHAUL!" you yelled in your booming voice as you've appear in the darkness wearing your hero suit .

"R/N?ah, so your alive?" he said in disbelief .

"Yes?so?my dear pathethic brother also known as overhaul."

"Too bad i shot him already." he said as he pointed at Mirio's struggling limp body as Eri just covered herself with his scrapped cape.

You ended up fighting him one on one.You knew that he was strong and powerful and so are you.

The last thing you knew was going all out with your quirk and passing out to the ground and you were in the hospital getting treated by recovery girl.

A few hours later you received the news that everyone in the Yakuza got arrested but Overhaul got taken away by the league of villains,Mirio ended up getting shot by the quirk destroying drug and ended up loosing his quirk.

Lastly sir nighteye got killed due to the bad injury that he got whilst fighting him.On the good side Eri was taken custody of and is doing well in the hospital together with Mirio and Deku.

You sighed in contentment and walked in your hospital clothes in the hallway trying to find her hospital room.

Your heart started racing and you saw the letter engraved "ERI" you finally mustered up the courage into opening the door.You saw Deku and Mirio playing with her

"Y/N - chan your here!" Deku said enthusiatically.

The little girl hids on her sheets when she thought that you were a bad person along with Aizawa.Mirio said that it is okay and you two are their teacher and a school mate.

"Eri - chan do you remember me?" you said on your soft voice she immidiately remembers that familliar voice, her eyes widened and ended up throwing her arms onto your embrace crying.

"R/N!"

"You do remember me!Your okay now your safe,nii-san is here to protect you and will not leave you alone." you said sobbing while hugging the little girl she nodded and you two just stayed like there for a while.

Deku and Mirio : 🥺 (Lmao you to scootch along i'm her real brother🔪).

And finally the hospital visit is over and they allow you to visit her along with Deku and Mirio during weekends on the hospital.

You also apologized to Midoriya and Mirio for meddling the middle of the fight.Instead they thanked you and if you were not there they would've ended up dead.

A few weeks later she can finally get out of the hospital and ended up being in Aizawa's care in the teacher's dorm in UA.Since you trusted him you allowed him to take care of her.

You also take care of her when Aizawa is not around along with Deku and Mirio in the dorms.

The whole class is also shocked in how much your attitude and behavi reverses when Eri's around.They were like : 🧐,🤭,🥰,😍,🤩,😱 is that even possible HShsgsh.

You also learned how to cook and teach Eri how to read and learn you also play with her ofc.

You also became more confident, and a .Lmao the look on your face when bakugo called you an Tsundere.And you said in the most murderous voice ever "DIE." then Eri comes in like : 🙁🗿.

"I said i will DYE my hair later pink HAHAHHAHAH😃." you said jokingly.

Everyone was like : 👁️👄👁️ Meanwhile eri's just : yea im down with that face with a small nod and a smile***

Mina aswell as the others ended up taking the joke seriously and you ended up having a pink hair color the next day to school.

Monoma said that you looked pretty u̶g̶l̶y̶ he ended up getting beat up by kendo.(SHHSHSHEHE LMAO😂).

Shoto thinks it's cool HAHAHHAHA.

Eri said that she likes it and it looks nice to you.Iida and Aizawa lets you slide disobeying the school rules just this ONCE he just wants to see the little girl happy.

The reaction on your adoptive families face when you told them that you have a sister is priceless.They we're like : " i guess we need to adopt another one." S̶i̶k̶e̶.

Note : the gif is not mine a̶n̶d̶s̶o̶a̶r̶e̶y̶o̶u̶

💌 : OMGGG THANKS FOR REQUESTING AGAIN!✨Sorry it took too long hehehe anyways! i'm stoked to see that you also watch Demon slayer! it's really an good anime and i'm looking forward in the movie that will be released!the animation will be so sick😫✨💥.

ORIGINALLY by : bokunosoul

#mha imagines #mha x y/n #mha x reader #class 1 a x reader #overhaul x reader #mha headcanons #mha drabbles #kny

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sevendeadlymorons · 3 years

Note

Hey I’m that one anon from a while back that sent those long ass paragraphs about Lilith and Simeon, remember me? Anyway I know I’m very late to the party, but some of the boys are either getting to much hate or too much love over here (in my opinion) so I made a pros and cons list for all of them, I’m sorry- (I’m warning you now this will be long but I’ll put it in bullet points so it’s a bit easier to read, just read it whenever your mentally ready lol)

Lucifer (I hate this man.)

Pros

He’d help a lot with getting your life together wether that be finding a job, choosing the right college or other shit like that

He’d make sure your working hard and getting everything done, which is both a blessing and a curse tbh

He would be the one to take the most care of you whenever your ill psychically

Cons

He would probably overwork you

Doesnt have much time to spend on you and doesn’t make a effort to find more time unless your getting really sad about it

Probably wouldn’t be the best of help through issues with mental illness (he just doesn’t strike me as that type, feel free to disagree)

His pride would cause some serious problems in relationships :/

Mammon (I love this man.)

Pros

He’s the “if your sad, I’m sad” kind of guy so he does whatever he can to put a smile on your face

Makes his affection towards you known once he’s comfortable enough, mostly through things like hugs and head pats tho

He shows off anything you make, and I mean anything (you gave him a drawing? After showing it to everyone he puts it on the fridge. You wrote something? He reads it to everyone then puts it in his notebook to reread later, I think you get where I’m going with this)

Cons

There would probably be some communication issues due to his tsundere nature and habit of ignoring you when he’s mad

He’d get super mad at you when your trying to help him financially, maybe it’s a ego thing or maybe he’s just tired of hearing it

While his possessiveness is cute at times he’d definitely get way to overbearing if you don’t force him to cool it

Levi (I kin this man.)

Pros

He’d try to set up designated hangout times (like Friday is movie night, Tuesday is for RPGs etc)

Wanna spend time with him but aren’t very into what he’s into? While it will be harder to bond with him because of this I think if you REALLY wanted to hang with him he’d at least try to meet you in the middle (like if you like sports he’ll offer to play wii sports lol)

Insecurities getting you down again? Well never fear, levi is here! He’d find characters with flaws similar to those you see in yourself to prove that they don’t really matter (and since he struggles with insecurity himself he’d know how you feel and be one of the best at helping you through them)

Cons

Even if he makes an effort to meet you in the middle if you have different interests he’d refuse to get into “normie” stuff

He’ll guilt trip you constantly, even if it’s not on purpose (“Oh your hanging out with Asmo today? I get it, of course you’d wanna hang out with somebody cool and perfect like Asmo and not a gross yucky otaku like me”)

You have to initiate almost everything Hugs? You hug first. Handholding? You reach out to him. Confessions? You seriously thought he’d be the one to confess first??

Satan

Pros

Similar to Lucifer he’d be good at helping you get your life together and putting you on the right track

Unlike Lucifer, he’d actively make time for date nights and/or hangouts multiple times a week wether your going out for dinner or reading in front of the fireplace

While he himself might not be best at helping with comfort in the moment, he’d be great to turn to if you needed a long time treatment (you need a therapist? He’s got the best three in your area that you can afford and he found some helpful things you can do in this book)

Cons

As stated previously, he’s not the best with comfort, which can be an issue if you need a friend/partner who can be your biggest source of comfort (I’m not saying he’ll do nothing, it’ll just be kinda awkward ig)

If you vent to him about something he’ll always offer advice and while that can be good, sometimes all you want is someone to listen to you and getting advice can be annoying in the moment

I feel like hanging out with him you’d rarely ever get to talk about pointless things, everything would be serious you know? And while serious and deep conversations are good for bonding, some people (myself included) need to be able to talk about dumb things without having it turn philosophical

Asmo

Pros

He’s the best at boosting your confidence, there’s no competition

He’s more into spontaneous outings (he suddenly got the urge to go shopping, your coming with right?)

You can talk about just about anything with him, no judgment and he’ll never speak a word of it to anyone else if you don’t want him to (although he may brag to his brothers that you told him your secrets)

High emotional IQ

Cons

He has set things of things he’s interested in and his idea of trying the things your into is doing whatever it is for about 5 seconds then deciding it’s not for him

He cares a lot about looks, I don’t mean he’ll hate you or insult you cause he thinks your ugly, I mean he’ll constantly try to do your makeup, hair, and nails and he’ll always say things like “Your hair is a bit messy today, did you brush it? Yes? Well not good enough, let me do it” and “your wearing that out? There’s nothing wrong with it, I just think you’d look a lot cuter in this” and if your anything like me, that’ll get on your nerves a lot

While he’s great with emotional issues, if it’s a problem with anything like school or your job he’ll have no solution to offer, all you’ll get is a “You can do it!” and a good luck kiss

Narcissistic, need I say more?

Beel

Pros

He’s the best person to vent to, no judgment and tons of hugs and comfort food

He’s a mom friend, no explanation needed

Very supportive and always concerned for your health

Your in trouble? Call beel, he’ll help you and make sure your home safe before questioning you and will only lecture you out of love (unlike a certain older brother that will lecture you because “Your tarnishing Diavlo’s reputation by acting out like this. Your an exchange student, you must abide by the rules and behave yourself.”)

Cons

Food is his answer to everything (Sad?Food. Injured? Food. School’s stressful? Food plus a little help studying) and while food can be good for comfort, sometimes you need him to provide more than a snack

He’s the opposite of Satan in the sense that he’ll almost never offer advice when you rant to him, he just assumes getting it all out is help enough and won’t offer much more then a hug and food

Not getting along with one of his brothers? “They can be a handful, but they’re great people once you learn to handle the chaos” yeah he rarely thinks what his brothers did is a big deal so he gives you advice on how to apologize and get past it and he’ll give you food

Belphie (he really does attract the mentally ill people huh-)

Cons

I feel like he’d be good for certain people with social anxiety and people who have issues with always being scared about being a bad person (“you think your a bad person and are becoming more and more toxic by the day? Well your a better person than Lucifer that’s for sure, wether or not your toxic were going to cuddle now get in bed” or “your worried everyone is constantly staring and judging you for everything you do? Well I don’t really care about what your wearing or the way you walk so I doubt they do either, can we go home now?” ((Side note, I experience both of these issues and his uncaring personality would calm me, which is why I think this one of his pros))

He just wouldn’t care about whatever type of life style you lead and as someone who’s constantly scared of being judged for their lifestyle this would be amazing (“you sleep all the time? Same let’s nap together” “You don’t eat very healthy? Whatever, it’s fine, can we sleep now?” ((although it is a double edged sword))

He gets a burst of energy and just does the most random things (you see that tree? He’s already climbed half way up it. That petting zoo? He’s already feeding the lambs. That store? He’s already spent 30 grim)

Cons

Just like his twin he thinks every problem has one solution, but instead of food he thinks the solution is sleep (your sick? Sleep is the best medicine. A lot of homework? If you sleep you don’t have to think about it.)

At some point he just doesn’t care enough, if you come to him with a serious issue he’ll half listen to you rant then pull you down to sleep

He teases you a lot, which is fine teasing is fun, but he takes it too far. Maybe he touched on something your insecure about or he was too merciless, whatever it was, he won’t apologize for it, he just thinks your being sensitive. If he brought up some bad memories he’ll consider it, but his way of apologizing is cuddling

He doesn’t wanna do something? You guys aren’t gonna do it. You don’t wanna do something? Too bad, he wants to so your gonna.

I’m sorry this is so long- I tried to shorten it I swear- but anyway if you disagree I’m with anything, I wanna hear what you think

And even tho Beel doesn’t get much screen time and more serious moments, I think his character is way more then hunger

Random but I wanna add that other then Levi I kin Tamaki from mha and Ranpo from bsd

Dude do you just like torturing poor college students? This is so much to read, I’m about to cry 😭

I agree with the Lucifer part actually! Tho I do kinda thing he’s be good emotion support in some ways, for me, anyway. I feel like he may lack empathy that is needed in a stable relationship. Yes, he may be able to tell you with shit and honestly, he’d book my doctors appointments when I’m too anxious too so yknow. But yeah

Also agree with mammon. He’s a jackass when he wants to be, and I know he may not mean it, but his words are still hurtful in a lot of ways and he just can’t convey those emotions that’re needed in a loving relationship. But he’s so sweet and will show you off so it’s all good~

As much as I love Levi, I agree. He manipulates and guilt trips you throughout the entire game. It can’t be healthy in relationships but that don’t stop me from loving that sweet otaku boy 😔🖤

I agree with Satan too. I don’t have much to say but he’s avatar of wrath for a reason, for a start, and he honestly looks like he’d prefer talking about books than that funny thing that happened in class that made you laugh earlier

Agreed with Asmo too. Sometimes he may just get overbearing and the narcissism and the constant need to make you look better and improve you may get irritating

I agree with Beel. I don’t think he can comprehend that food isn’t an answer to everything and as a person who doesn’t cope with food and relatively hates it, he won’t be any help to me emotionally. He’s so sweet but he just won’t give you that proper support

I love Belphie so so much but I absolutely agree. He’s one of the most unbothered brothers who won’t care what you look like, yes, but that also means compliments may come rarely and like his twin, “sleep is the answer to everything” I can admit I like to sleep but I have a manic side that comes with insomnia and if he’s dragging me down and not letting me move and I just cannot sleep, I’m gonna get irritated and pissed off.

This got a bit long on my end too. I just really liked how you worded this and it was fun to see pros and cons of the ‘perfect’ brothers

I think Beel is more than food too, but I just don’t particularly like him either way cuz I’m not really a foodie so I can’t relate with him lmao

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to-hell-and-beyond · 3 years

Text

“Are we saying this is a date?” Pt.2

Robby Keene x Reader

Requested: Yes : No

Request: Are we saying this is a date pt2? -Anon

Sorry this took so long! It was on my back burner as I worked on my other requests but here it is now!

Summary: After meeting a cute boy at skatepark you decide to go out for a date. Feelings are mixed and relationships are defined.

Words: 1246

Pt.1

“-And make sure that if anything happens you call me as soon as you can.” You laughed as your Mother helped you get your mess of hair and done up for your date. Nothing too fancy or serious, just something casual.

“I know Mom. Robby’s a good person, i”ll be fine you don’t have to worry.” She gave you a loving smile as she tucked the final piece of your hair back. You were all ready for your date. You quickly kissed her cheek as you flew out of your hotel room tuning with your skateboards in hand. You decided to skate there, kinda feeling like that was your and Robby’s thing since you two had met at a skatepark.

Robby: Hey, I’m going to be a few minutes late can you save me a seat?

You looked at the text on your phone and then looked up to see the neon sign spelling out “Lila’s Dinner”. It was only 12:50 so you had a couple minutes to spare, so you waited across the street. You began to walk around exploring some places but sticking near the dinner so you wouldn’t have to worry.

“Hey!” You had accidently bumped into a middle aged man as your skateboard when flying. You scrambled to go get it before looking back. The man seemed to be ok as he whipped off the dust on his pants from the fall.

“I’m so sorry.” You said with pleading eyes as he looked at you. “I know those eyes…” he mumbled as you came closer to him.

“I had no idea where I was going! My name is Y/n Schwarber and If there is anything you need, I can call an ambulance right now!” You held up your phone as he stayed still.

“Nah kid it’s ok. Tell your Mother hi from Johnny.” The man walked away as you held your breath. You were worried he was going to kidnap you or something like that. Glad he didn’t though.

You looked to see that it was 12:59 and decided it was time to go save a seat for your date. The very nice host sat you down in a booth as you checked your phone a couple times. You were interrupted by the sound of a bell ringing. You looked up to see that Robby had gotten there and you waved at him. He walked to where you were sitting and slid down on the seat beside you.

“Worried you weren’t going to make it.” You joked as he let out a soft laugh. It was dark when the both of you were walking to your hotel, so you never really got to embrace his looks. His silky hair and his eyes. He looked like an angel and supermodel mixed together.

“Yah a few things came up, but I’m glad I'm here.” He said as the waitress came up to you both. The two of you put your orders in as she left.

“This is kinda awkward isn’t it?” He asked as you both nodded and laughed. When the two of you were walking it was just two friends, now it was something else.

“How about you tell me more about your family?” You asked.

“Ok? Well, my parents aren't exactly together so I live with my Mom. She’s gone a lot so I’m usually by myself.” You nodded as the waitress came and brought you guys your milkshakes.

“How was your dinner with your Mom’s ex and his family? He asked as you both laughed.

“Funny actually, but not in the way you’d expect. Ok so we get there and my Mom is making friends with his wife Amanda as they bash Daniel right in front of him which omg it’s sooo funny. So then I met their two kids Anthony and Sam. Anthony’s a huge spoiled brat and he just plays video games but I vibe with him so much.” You both laughed as he mentioned you to keep going along with your story.

“So he’s just sitting there with his phone so I turn to Sam. She's our age and she smiles looking super happy and she’s like “I’m so glad you here Y/n.” so I’m like yay this girl knows about my existence and maybe for the first time in my life I’ll become friends with another Female. Turns out though she is a total Bitch. Like she's all sweet and shit but she’s really annoying. So I'm sitting there as my Mom and her new best friend destroy any self esteem this guy had in front of him. I'm sitting here beside a girl who keeps talking about how annoying she is and this kid playing video games loudly on his phone. And honestly, that was probably the best dinner I’ve ever been to since I was five.”

“Are you serious?” At this point Robby was dying of laughter and your hands were intertwined together.

“I’m dead serious! I was starting to think that you were the best thing that has come out of this trip, but that whole experience took the cake.” You both smiled at each other. There was a pain in your chest as you remembered that you were going back home in two days.

“Robby I have to tell you something.” You said in a serious tone as he looked up at you. What could you possibly want to say to him?

“I’m going home in two days and well, I really love what we have but I don’t think I'll work long-distance. My parents divorce is going to be long and I know you have a life here so how about we just stay friends for that time being.” You ask, as your voice began to get anxious. What if he got mad at you? What if he didn’t want to be just friends?

“I understand Y/n. I actually agree with you, now is not the best time for a relationship and I 100% support you.” You smiled at him feeling the weight on your shoulders lift.

“You have no idea how glad I am to hear that.” The waitress then came and gave you both the bill. Robby went through his wallet trying to find enough money to pay for your meal but you slid the waitress a bill of $20.

“You didn’t need to do that. I had it covered.” Robby said. Growing up with his Mom he always learned that he was the one that was supposed to pay.

“That whole thing that Men need to pay is so obnoxious. I had the $20 so I gave it to her, it shouldn't be a competition. Money doesn't define someone.” Robby smiled at you, you always seemed to make him feel better about himself.

“Guess I should get going huh?” You asked as You walked out the doors of “Lila’s Dinner”.

“Text you Friday?” He asked as he turned to look at you before you both skated away.

“Of course.” You both pulled into a soft kiss as you waved him goodbye and left. You would definitely miss him, his sweet smile and the way he seemed to glow all the time. But you had a life and so did he, you both needed to get back to those. Though in the future you come to save him. Those Cobra’s won’t know what hit him when they tried to hurt the boy you love.

#robby keene x reader #robby keene #robby keene imagine #cobra kai #samantha larusso #sam larusso #anthony larusso #daniel larusso #amanda larusso #date #first date #ali mills #johnny lawrence

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annab-nana · 3 years

Text

2020...

You were probably the worst and best year of my life for several different reasons.

Worst because you took away my normal college experience. Worst because mentally, you haven’t been kind. Worst because you have taken several people who have meant a lot to me and many others. Worst because people I’ve thought of as good friends don’t speak to me anymore or turned out to not be who I thought they were.

Best because for some reason being stuck in quarantine brought my best friend and I a whole lot closer. Best because I found new hobbies that I love. Best because I’ve grown a lot as a person. Best because I’ve grown a lot on here and made writings that people have enjoyed. Best because I have impacted others in a positive way and helped people. Best because I have felt the happiest I have ever felt and the most love I have experienced as well. Best because I have made many new friends that mean the world to me and I just wanted to say a small thank you to all of these people.

@rebelemilu • Emily, I remember months ago when I reblogged an edit of yours and you kinda geeked out that I did that. I thought it was the cutest thing ever and it was shocking to me that someone who didn’t even know me loved me and my stuff. Then later in July when I first ever showed my face to this hellsite, I inspired you to do the same and I got to see your beautiful face and smile and I was so happy that I was able to do that for you. You have always been so kind and supportive of me and I will forever be grateful to you for that. Now I get to talk to you almost everyday and you send me the best gifs of our favorite men and I couldn’t be happier. You are an amazing friend Em and I love you so much! You have no idea how much you mean to me.

@x-lulu • Lulu, this past month or so has been amazing! You are one of the strongest, sweetest, and most supportive people I know! Like you said, you feel like you can come to me with anything but that is how I feel about you. You have a soft warm safe presence about you that makes me feel comfortable and appreciated when I talk to you. Loneliness is my biggest struggle and I hate talking about it with anyone because it feels stupid when I say it but with you, I feel like I could discuss that with you without any judgement. Now that I know you I don’t think I could be without you. You’re just so wonderful and I wish everyone could have a lu as a friend. I don’t know what I’d do without my aesthetic queen that I love so much.

@https-luna • Luna, you are my luna bug! What else can I say? I love you so much and we’ve only really talked for the past twoish weeks but I feel like we will be friends for a long time. You are so incredibly smart and I love each and every one of your random fun facts. That makes my days so much better with your sweet personality. I feel like we’ve grown a lot closer these last few days and I wouldn’t change that for the world. You are a talented writer and I love getting to see that first hand. My love for you will never die, luna bug.

@sguymon21 • Sara, I honestly don’t remember how our friendship started. I want to say it was because we started talking when I was reading your story, All Of My Wrongs, because I fell in love with it and then we just started talking. And then we exchanged Instagrams and then Snapchats and we’ve talked for a while honestly. You are such an amazing writer and a sweet and kind soul as well and I know that at times that people haven’t been that kind to you but I promise you are so much more than what people say. You are gorgeous love and your heart is even prettier.

@samcolbylife666 • Zach, I know this is probably weird considering we haven’t talked in several months but I still wanted to thank you. You were the first person I ever really talked to on here and I hope you’re doing well. I remember the random things we’d discuss right before all hell broke loose with corona. I was literally talking to you when I had to pack to leave my dorm for our “two week” break and I was excited that our spring break had been lengthened. I’m pretty sure your plans to go to Disneyland for canceled due to everything but I hope you still get to go soon. I don’t know if you still get on here but I’d love to talk to you again.

@xgingerblue19x • Ella, my love from the other side of the world haha I love you so much. Our journey started the night Sam broke his back. I was lowkey freaking out about it and you were there to calm me down and you sent me updates about it too. It was nice to have someone to talk to when I was super anxious about someone I look up to and care deeply about. Then a few weeks later, we all lost someone really important to us, Corey, and once again, you were there. You talked with me and I am not one to easily open up to others especially when I’m upset but with you, I felt safe and you made it easy. Since then, we don’t talk super often but we can always pick up where we left off and it feels normal and not awkward at all and I love that about our friendship. You are someone I know that I can lean on and I hope you know I’m here for you as well sweetheart.

@socialanxiety-queen • Becca, I love you so much! We were both scared to reach out to each other and anxious about making new friends but I’m glad that we started to message each other and play a little game of twenty questions. Even though we don’t talk that often, I will always love and support you and I know that I can talk to you about whatever I need to. Your heart is so pure and it is a beautiful thing inside a beautiful person. You make me so happy and I love how you remember the little things about a person and make them feel so loved and appreciated and I hope you feel as loved and appreciated as you make others feel.

@toriswrites • Tori, you are such a cute little bean and I love you! We started talking right before I combined blogs on maybanksbaby and you were the one who helped me gain the courage to finally combine my blogs after I had been thinking about it for a loooooong time. I don’t think you know how grateful I am for that because it was the best decision I’ve ever made and I couldn’t have done it without you and your encouragement. So thank you for talking to me through that because I probably would’ve never done it or I would’ve pushed it off for a while if I hadn’t brought it up to you.

@heaven-with-mark • Babe, I honestly have no idea where our friendship started. I think it was you posted something and I came to check on you and then we just started talking. And then we talked almost every day all day for like a month. We’d be going crazy as we stayed up late. You’d show me all your pets and tell me their adorable and unique names which I loved. We’d talk about several random ideas and we’d talk about our problems too. I know we haven’t talked that much recently but I really miss you and I hope you are doing well.

@lonely-xplr • Bree, you are someone I’ve always looked up to. Ever since I started writing on this app and joined this fandom, I’ve looked up to you. You are so smart and so nice to talk to. I know that if I ever need someone to talk to, I can go to you. You always seem to send me something nice right when I need it and I am so grateful for that and you. I love you so much and I hope you know how much you mean to me.

@fttayla @ilovejjmaybank @demxters • Liv, Nat, and Elle, I love you all so much! You are so kind and super supportive and I thank you guys for that. Y’all are so cute too and your friendships have made me so happy.

@reinad-snc @goddess-of-time-and-magic @reddesertcolbs @xplrtrash @sarcasmhadachild @colbylover99 @cartiercolby @ygsucks @starrybrock • to my @traphousedaily babies and Kayla, you all made me feel welcome in this Sam and Colby tumblr fandom family. When I joined this group of wonderful people, I felt like I wasn’t alone and just posting my fics. I felt like I apart of something greater and I made great friends because of it. Each of you are so incredibly sweet and amazing people and I am so happy that I have gotten the chance to meet you all and become friends with you too.

@itsnotgray @ilguna @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @xplrvibes @golbrocklovely @golbrockstar @turnupbrock @socialwriter @mrsmaybankhere @spilledtee @bricksatlandyswindow @dmonchld @killingbxys @nxsmss @mxltifandoms06 @uwubonebabie @rafej-cambanks @drewstarkeysbitchh @faithie-brock-gillespie01 @cognacdelights @tovvaa @moniamaybank @themaddies-obx @cuddlycolby @xplrsworld @makebank @rafeyybabyy • there are so many more but there is a tag limit to each post so I’ll probably comment to add some more but each of you have made my 2020 better. Some on small ways and others in bigger ones but each of you have brought me happiness and made me smile more so for that, thank you.

So after that reflection, I have realized that 2020 may not have been the greatest year of our lives but at least for me, the great points outweigh the bad ones tremendously. Here’s to 2021 :)

#anna rambles #and anna feels so emotional but in a good way #I wouldn’t have survived this year without you guys

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hookingminor · 4 years

Text

three lessons (2) - mat barzal

a/n: kinda blacked out and just wrote all of this I have no idea if its even good also thank you for all the love on part 1, I love receiving feedback, I always read the tags y’all add thank you so much

word count: 4.2k

warnings (18+): loss of virginity, smut

*italics are flashbacks

PART ONE HERE / PART THREE

“So what made you come up with this idea?” Mat asked when you cuddled back up to finish the movie. After you’d hugged him to death in a thank you, he gave you his shirt to slip on before asking if you wanted to finish the movie. You felt a little awkward just using him to make you cum and then leaving, so you agreed.

He’d been wondering for the past week why you were doing this. When you came to him that first day, he was too in shock to process. You were so confident in your answers, he didn’t question your intentions. Right now, he was hoping they weren’t misguided and that he didn’t just give you your first orgasm because you’d given into peer pressure.

“You’re going to think it’s stupid,” you said, running your fingers lightly over the arm wrapped around your waist.

“Try me,” he persisted.

“Well, my friends are always talking about their sex lives, and I kind of felt left out, you know? It’s not like I was saving myself or felt pressured to do it, I just wanted to get it over with. I know that sounds bad, but I wanted to start moving on with my life, I guess,” you explained, “And it’s not like the opportunity was going to arise for me naturally any time soon.”

“That doesn’t sound stupid, if that’s what you want to do. I know a lot of girls take this seriously, so I just wanted to know,” he said.

“That’s never really been me,” you replied, “I just never got far enough into a relationship with someone to actually do it. I’ve only ever gone on a couple dates,” you added the last part sheepishly.

“Soon enough you’ll be taking on the whole town, though. You’ve got that to look forward to,” Mat said with a laugh, easing the tension in the room. The last thing he wanted to do was make you feel embarrassed or insecure.

You chuckled at his joke, feeling yourself relax, “If they’re all half as good as you, I’ll be having the time of my life.”

“Might be a little hard…” Mat contemplated, “I have been told I’m a very gracious lover…”

“I’d chirp you if I could but I don’t really have any experience to go off of so I’ll let you have this one,” you teased back.

“Give it a few months. I’ll be waiting for your final answer,” he said, nipping playfully at your earlobe.

“I’ll be sure to give you my full reports,” you threw back with an eye roll, sarcasm lacing your voice.

When you left Mat’s apartment, he promised he’d text you later to tell you his availability in the upcoming weeks.

His availability happened to be very limited over the next week and a half considering he had two home games before he had to leave for a short roadie. Obviously, neither of you could do anything about that, but as the days passed, you felt your insides grow in anticipation. You’d only had one little taste, and you were already about to beg him for more. Maybe it was a good thing you hadn’t had sex until now, you had a feeling you were going to be an insatiable lover. You’d nearly gotten yourself off daily just replaying the memories of Mat’s tongue on you.

It was almost two weeks from your first lesson when you finally talked about your next one.

Mat: You busy this weekend?

Your heart sped up quickly as you typed your response.

You: I’m free every evening after 5

Mat: Want to come over Friday night around 8? Plan to stay the night

You: Oh? What’s the plan this time?

Mat: Come over and you’ll find out

You: … I guess I can fit you into my schedule

Mat: See you then, baby

Friday came quickly, much more quickly than you thought it would. All the mental preparation in the world couldn’t help the nerves that wracked your body that day. The classes you had passed in a blur, you weren’t even sure if you even paid attention to any of your professors. You had a study group session planned after your last class, but you decided to skip since you figured your brain wouldn’t be able to focus for another hour.

Then 5pm rolled around, and you were beginning to get restless. You tried making yourself dinner beforehand, but the thought of eating anything made you want to throw up. It’s not like you were nervous, per se, but more anxious as you thought about what Mat had in mind for the night. You hoped it was sex.

God, you really hoped it was sex. Two weeks had you wound tight like an old clock, and you hadn’t even touched his dick yet.

And now you were thinking about his dick, which didn’t help your focus at all.

You spent the next couple hours getting ready. Forty-five minutes were spent in the shower, shaving just about everything you could. You didn’t know Mat’s preference, but it was better to be safe than sorry your first time around, right? The next half hour was spent blow-drying your hair and doing your makeup. And the last hour was spent deciding what to wear. It shouldn’t have taken you that long, but you couldn’t choose which one was better. Not to say that you bought a couple options of lingerie, but a girl only lost her virginity once; you were going to make this count.

Eventually, you settled on a black set, spending extra time to hype yourself up in the mirror before covering up with a skirt and loose sweater.

Before you knew it, you were standing outside his door, waiting for Mat to let you in.

He greeted you with a warm smile, dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a white shirt.

“Hey, come on in. You look great,” he said, opening the door wider.

“What’s that smell? Are you cooking something?” You asked, smelling an aroma coming from the kitchen.

“Yeah, well, trying to cook. The only thing I can handle is pasta, so I hope you like alfredo,” Mat chuckled, “I figured I should at least try to make tonight somewhat memorable.”

“You’re going to be the first man I sleep with, I think that already makes you pretty memorable,” you joked, running your hands along the kitchen countertop.

“Uh, dinner should be ready in, like, two minutes, so go ahead and take a seat,” Mat said, rushing back over to turn off the stove.

“Is it going to be edible?” You asked, pulling out a chair at the table.

“We’re about to find out. If you get food poisoning, I’m not liable,” he said, setting a plate in front of you.

“Is that how you win over women? Poisoning them on the first date?” You asked.

“Technically, this is the second date,” he pointed out, “And I usually don’t cook, so don’t get used to it.”

You picked up a forkful of pasta and brought it to your mouth.

“Well, as far as pasta goes, this isn’t the worst I’ve ever had,” you complimented after swallowing your first bite.

“Oh thank god,” he said in relief, “I’ll take that.”

You continued to eat in silence for a couple minutes, glad to finally get something in your stomach. You asked Mat about his latest road trip and the games, and he asked you about school and work. The conversation flowed so well between you two, there weren't any awkward pauses or topics you both didn’t have an opinion on. You found yourself laughing at his stories, like, head thrown back laughing and eyes crinkling laughter. You’d never felt more at ease than you did right now.

Mat’s eyes were bright, and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had this much fun with someone. He felt his heart sink a little at that thought: he was thoroughly enjoying his time with you, and he wasn’t even trying to woo you. You looked so beautiful in front of him, eating his subpar pasta but acting like it was the best, and smiling so hard he could see the small tears beginning to form in the corners of your eyes. He probably looked just as ridiculous to you, but he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

Mat began wondering why he’d never talked to you earlier. Sure, you’d seen him at casual hangouts when Anders brought you around, but he’d never really given you the time of day. And for the life of him, he couldn’t recall why he hadn’t.

He didn’t notice you then, but he was noticing you now. And that spelled trouble for Mat in big, bolded capital letters.

You’d stayed at the table a whole thirty minutes after you’d finished dinner, going through another two glasses of wine before the conversation began to settle.

“Here, let me get that for you,” Mat said, quickly getting up to take your plate when you began to pile your silverware up.

“No, I got it. You can’t cook and clean, Mat,” you argued, shifting the plate out of his reach.

In his brief moment of confusion, you snatched the plate from his hand, shuffling over to the sink as quickly as possible.

“You’re not doing my dishes,” he chuckled, slapping your hands out of the way. Water splashed up everywhere, soapy bubbles coating the counter. Even a few flew up into your hair, and you flinched your eyes shut as the water hit your face.

“I’m sorry,” he said, fully laughing now, “Actually, I’m not sorry. I told you not to touch the dishes.”

“Sorry for trying to be a good guest,” you snorted, flicking your wet fingers at his face with a smirk.

Mat grasped the wrist in front of his face, tugging you closer. His other hand lifted to grip your waist and pressed your front to his body, and your laughter suddenly died down.

“How about we just leave them for now?” He asked.

“They’ll just be even harder to wash later then, idiot.”

“I’m sure I can persuade you.” You raised your brow at him.

Mat’s signature crooked smirk appeared on his face as he let the hand on your waist drift to squeeze your ass. You let out a squeak of surprise, not used to being with someone this forward. His eyes crinkled at your shocked expression, and he leaned down to press his lips to yours. Your arms slid up Mat’s toned arms, going to rest along his shoulders. Both of his hands were now placed on your ass, and you could feel him harden against your stomach.

You moaned into his mouth, and Mat slipped his tongue into your mouth. You weren’t sure if you would ever get tired of kissing him; he was a phenomenal kisser. You could see why they paid him the big bucks to play hockey if he was half as good at skating as he was kissing.

He broke the kiss shortly after you trailed one hand down the expanse of his chest.

“Wanna take this to the bedroom? I’ve been wanting to get you out of this skirt since you walked through the door,” Mat grunted against your lips, stopping your hand before it could reach his belt.

You nodded your head vigorously (and it probably looked a little psychotic), eyes wide with lust. He took your hand in his and led you down the hallway, the dirty dishes long forgotten. Mat closed his bedroom door behind you, pressing you against it and reconnecting your lips.

His hands came up to hold your waist under your sweater, pulling his face away to move down your neck. Your head fell back to knock against the door and your lips parted in a quiet moan as Mat sucked a mark on your throat.

You took the opportunity to take in his room, and your gaze fell to the candles that were lit on his dresser.

“Did you get candles for this?” You asked breathlessly, arching your body into his. Mat pulled away for a moment, following your gaze to the candle.

“Yeah…” he said sheepishly, “I didn’t really know what to get. I wanted it to be at least a little special.”

“That’s sweet,” you said, running your hands through his hair, “It’s a good thing I also got you something too, then.” You stepped away to give him, what you hoped was, a seductive look.

“I really hope this isn’t some kind of joke about your virginity because if it is, I won’t laugh,” Mat said.

“No, you ass,” you laughed, punching him lightly in the arm, “I was trying to insinuate I was wearing something underneath.”

“Oh? Does that mean I can take this off?” He asked, both brows raised in curiosity as he tugged at the hem of your sweater.

“If you don’t, I will,” you teased.

After your confirmation, Mat pulled your top off easily and casted it to the side as he took in your appearance. His hands came up to trace the lacy designs along the cup, gently squeezing your clothed breast.

“Holy shit,” he said in awe, “I don’t mean to sound like a perv, but your tits are amazing.”

“Thank you. I always thought they were my best quality,” you joked.

Mat could hear the playful lilt of your tone, but he was still disagreeing in his mind. Your tits were amazing, but they were not your best quality. Maybe second best, but the sound of your laugh erupted in his mind when he thought about what he liked most about you; first he thought about your laugh, then your eyes, and then his mind eventually snapped back to reality where your nearly perfect tits were in front of him.

“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to take off my skirt?” You asked him, pulling him from his trance. Mat nodded his head eagerly, like a dog being thrown a bone. He dropped his hands to your waist, wasting no time to rid you of the skirt and throwing it to join your top.

“Jesus,” he breathed out when he saw the strappy garters, “Get on the bed now.”

You threw him a saucy smirk, sauntering over to the bed before sitting on the edge.

“Do I get to touch you this time?” You asked when he came to stand in front of you.

Mat brought his hand up to grab your hair, pulling it slightly so your head was tilted up to look up at him. He gave you a searing look before saying “Go ahead.”

You used your hands to brush against his abdomen underneath his shirt, raising it as far as you could from your seated position. He took the hint, pulling back to shrug it off quickly. Your hands stayed on his chest, sliding down until you met the buckle of his belt. You quirked an eyebrow, “This too?”

Mat answered your question for you, using his own hands to move them aside while he unbuckled his pants and shimmied them off. Your eyes followed his hands, noticing the way his boxer briefs bulged. Widening your eyes, partly in shock and the other part in disbelief that you were in this situation, your mouth fell open slightly as you tried to think of something to say.

Thankfully, you didn’t have to say anything because Mat was already pulling your head back and leaning down to kiss you again. He pushed you back against the bed, his hands reaching down to grab your thighs. His knees hit the bed, and he lifted your body up slightly so he could shuffled you back further. Your hands went back tug at the hair on the back of his head, and Mat groaned loudly into your mouth. You jotted this note down mentally, planning to use this to your advantage in the future.

He slid his arm underneath your back and you arched up into him. You could feel the hard press of him against your thigh, and you lifted your leg to wrap around his waist. You tried your best to thrust your hips against him, searching for any kind of friction.

Mat’s hand quickly unclasped your bra, and you pulled your arms down so you could slip it off.

“Fuck, baby,” he cursed, glancing down to your exposed breasts.

His head ducked down to nip at your neck, lips sucking along your collarbone. Mat lifted his hand to squeeze your breast, using his fingers to twist your nipple. He moaned against your skin at the gasp that fell from your mouth. Lowering his head even further, he closed his lips over your other nipple, desperate to pull more sounds from you. He was rewarded when you let out a pitched whine as he lightly bit at your breast.

Feeling yourself grow wetter at his ministrations, you pulled him back up to your lips by his hair, already missing the way he kissed you. You snaked one hand between your bodies, palming him over his boxers. Mat let out a distressed groan, thrusting his hips into your hand. You squeeze his length over the fabric which caused Mat to pull back swiftly.

“I know I said you could touch,” he panted, “but I genuinely think I’ll explode if you do.”

You chuckled at his breathless state but removed your hand from him anyway. He shimmied further down your body instead, taking a moment to unsnap the garters from your tights. Sliding off your panties, he took the tights off with them before resuming his spot between your legs.

“Don’t tease, Mat,” you said with a gasp. As much as you wanted his tongue on you, you were nearing the verge already.

“Fine, but I’m going down on you later tonight then,” he said, looking at your pussy with a longing look. He brought his fingers to run between your folds, gathering at the wetness building up. You could feel how soaked you were, but the obscene sounds you heard as he slipped a finger inside of you only confirmed that. Entering a second one, he slowly thrust his fingers in and out, curling to hit your g-spot.

“I said no teasing,” you whined loudly, tugging harshly at his hair. Mat chuckled darkly, removing his fingers from you despite your protest. He leaned back, stepping off the bed quickly to take off his boxers.

Now, you hadn’t expected him to be small, but being faced with his dick in person, you began wondering if you should’ve started with someone more… average. Your jaw dropped slightly, and Mat laughed at your reaction. He was already climbing back over you, condom in hand, before you could say anything.

“You’re sure you still want this?” He double checked, ripping open the foil packet. You nodded to answer his question, mouth still agape as you watched him roll the condom onto his hard length.

“If you’re not in me within the next minute, I’m going to combust,” you said.

“You flatter me, Y/N,” he replied, hooking a leg over his waist, “Stop me if anything hurts, okay?”

Mat waited for your nod, looking into your eyes for any sense of hesitation, but you couldn’t be more sure about wanting this.

He lined himself up with your entrance, slowly pushing inside of you. You felt yourself stretch open as he pressed into you, the feeling unfamiliar and awkward but not at all unpleasant.

Mat paused his movements when he heard a particular strangled noise leave your throat.

“Everything good?” He asked, checking in on you.

“Yeah, all good. Just give me a second,” you whispered, giving yourself a few moments to adjust to the new sensation. Mat stayed still as he waited for your indication to continue, bending his head to pull you back into a heated kiss.

Relaxing under his touch, you moaned into his mouth, mumbling a quiet “keep going” against his lips. Mat resumed his movements, pushing further into you at an agonizingly slow pace until you felt him bottom out.

“Holy fuck, you’re so ti— nope not going to think about how tight you are,” he said, grunting lowly into your neck. It was taking everything in him to not pull out and just thrust back into you, but he remained as still as he could until you gave him permission.

“Please move, Mat,” you groaned out, finally feeling yourself stretch to accommodate him with more ease.

He pulled out almost all the way before thrusting back in at a gentle maneuver, your head falling back in pleasure. Mat took your resounding moans as signs of encouragement, and he crashed his lips against yours in another kiss. He rocked in and out of you, slowly increasing his speed the louder your moans got.

You tangled a hand in his hair, needing something to grip to relieve the tension you felt building inside of you.

It didn’t take long for the discomfort to turn into backbending pleasure. Soon you were arching yourself as much as you could into him, trying to gather as much friction as possible. Your breasts rubbed against his chest, and he was clutching at your back to keep you close.

“I’m close,” you said into his ear, one arm extending over his shoulder to dig your fingernails into his back.

Mat’s hand slipped between you, reaching to press his thumb against your clit. He drew out tight circles against it, and you felt yourself teeter on the edge of orgasm.

“Come on, baby,” he said into your neck, and you squeezed around him in response. He pressed harder into your clit, biting at the skin of your neck before soothing it over with a kiss.

You clenched around him even tighter, and let your eyes flutter close as you came.

Mat’s hand gripped hard on your thigh, and you were sure you were going to feel the outlines of his fingertips pressed into your skin for weeks to come. His rhythm grew more erratic as his breathing stuttered, and soon you felt him still altogether as he released inside of you.

Your breathing slowed down a few seconds after Mat finished, his breaths quickly calming until they were in sync with yours. You whined slightly when he pulled out of you before flopping onto his back. You slowly came back to earth, the pulse between your legs diminishing with each passing minute. Mat leaned over the side to dispose of the condom and then turned onto his side to gaze at you.

You glanced over to see his cocky smile and you couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

“Women don’t usually laugh after having sex with me,” he said in mock offense, but the smile remained on his face.

“I’m laughing because I’m happy. I finally did it. I’m no longer a virgin,” you said happily, flipping over to rest your head on your hand, matching his pose.

“We better alert the media,” he joked.

“‘Breaking News: This just in, local college student finally pops her cherry,’” you exclaimed in your best reporter voice, and he laughed heartily.

He had such a contagious laugh. It was the most absurd, yet fun, laugh you’d ever heard. It was impossible to not laugh when he did, which is why you were both laughing hysterically now.

“But really, Mat, thank you,” you said seriously once the laughter began to die down. He nodded his head in agreement, his smile falling until you could only see the playfulness within his eyes.

“Round two in the shower?” You asked hopefully after a couple seconds.

“Already? We just finished,” he teased, bringing a hand to brush your hair behind your ear.

“Are you saying you’re tired already? What about that professional athlete stamina?” you wondered with a raised brow.

“You joke about it now, but you’ll be regretting that soon,” he said, lightly flicking your nose, “Get in the shower, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

You got up eagerly, scampering off to the bathroom in excitement for going another round. Mat glanced over his shoulder, watching you disappear into the bathroom.

It was when he heard the water turn on and the shower door close that he let his face fall completely.

Your second date was over.

Second lesson, he corrected himself. He was nothing but a fluffer for you, and that hurt him more than he cared to admit right now.

His chest tightened at the thought of your time together slowly coming to an end. He wanted to keep seeing you. You were lively, smart, funny, and hot. He had yet to meet a box you didn’t tick for him, and that scared him a lot.

Mat wasn’t the type to catch feelings this quickly, especially for someone he knew he couldn’t have; it’s not like you being his captain’s sister was completely lost on him. God knew he'd been on the receiving end of caught feelings plenty times, and he hated being the bad guy in those situations.

But despite that, he found himself enjoying your time together more than he probably should’ve.

Also, there was the fact that you were probably one of the sexiest women he’d ever slept with and looked like a goddess when you came.

Really, when it came down to it, Mat was left with no other option.

He had to stall your next “lesson” for as long as possible. As long as he needed to convince you he wanted more than just sex.

#mat barzal #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #nhl smut #mat barzal imagine #my writing #isles13

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girlyliondragon · 2 years

Text

You know, I really do miss the time of my life where I took self-shipping very seriously.

That isn’t to say I don’t take it seriously now, but what I mean is back then I always thought of my fictional relationships as kinda like “real” ones in a way. As in they felt real to me. I’ve mentioned it on this blog a good couple times earlier last year how my relationship with self-shipping is complicated due to trauma and only now am I trying to reclaim that back into the coping mechanism it was supposed to be.

Like, I didn’t think they were REAL real but more like, I had a headspace sorta for my fictional life that was separate from my real one. I was quite imaginative back then, being a kid and all, not to weird degrees I think. It didn’t affect my sense of reality or my reality or real life for me, just how I approached fictional shipping and myself as a whole. It’s weird ik, idk how to describe it other than that. That’s how funky it is.

Like, I’d conditioned myself from a young age to think that way, and I had the mindset going for what... maybe 10 years? I started back when I was 12, barely even 13, and over the years I’ve had 5 F/Os in that timespan. I mentioned before how my very first F/O that I made for myself I screwed myself up with and kinda set the bar for how I approach self-shipping the rest of my life, because I took it THAT seriously. My second one barely felt like a relationship due to how short it was, so it didn’t really bug me. My third F/O, also my first canon character F/O however, I started to feel uneasy about because that was the first time I got super attached like that, and I broke that off and went through a whole anxious mess of a fit in the process because that freaked me out. Was the first time I had that obsession sort of feeling about my F/Os, where I get so into the shipping that breaking things off actually gives me problems. There’s also the instance of me for the first time seeing people judge those that ship with certain characters rather negatively and I didn’t want to have them on my ass and it pushed the idea that I was a freak for liking the character, soooo that was fun. Had a legit mental breakdown over that which was extra fun. /s

Fourth one was the “one good one” I brought up before, as they were the F/O I not only settled down happily with in my headspace, but I had going on for a good 3 years. In fact, my very first post on this blog I state that I’ve had one healthy f/o in my life that only ended because it faded. There was a lot with that one I had planned out for that one, but just like the third F/O outside forces kinda pushed me away, will get on that later.

My fifth was even extra complicated and is one that I’m actually resentful towards that I still to this day don’t want to say their name. Was in a super duper niche community server in Discord that I left mid-last year, and it was the one that sparked me the beginning of me being so scared to self-ship, because with this one I actually freaked people out given how I talked about said crush. Ya’ll remember how I brought up how I get so attached to my fictional crushes it can border into obsession back then? That actually showed to its fullest extent here. I remember being told “yes you can crush on this character and love them it’s okay.” but my brain kinda deteriorated ig and the more seriously I took it the more I just knew I weirded people out, I even felt like they were talking about me behind my back, which at first I thought was paranoia but now that I’m out of that space I wouldn’t be surprised if they thought I was some kind of weirdo with how I treated it in that server. It was the first F/O I resented getting attached to as well, which screwed up my relationship with self-shipping as a whole further. Considering my mental state at the time and how it deteriorated the further I got in crushing on said character for a variety of reasons, it was probably my worst self-shipping experience to date.

Back to the Fourth F/O, after the mess with the fifth I basically went back to the fourth one as a source of comfort and to recover from the mess, and again I felt like I was happy. But when people saw who I self-shipped with at that time that actually got on my ass en-masse, which wooo fear accomplished ig, and again shipping became more of a trauma than anything. I had to force myself to break off that relationship for good, which added to that trauma, and even though I tried to get back into it, I had realized by that point that my whole “brain believes fictional relationships are real in my headspace life” feeling had faded as well as those feelings. And as a result I was left angry and extremely for a really long time about how I can’t get back into that “mode” thanks to assholes.

Like I said, I had that mindset for 10 years because of my own doing basically, to say I’m used to it is an understatement like no I MADE myself that way and lived my whole teen life on the internet through that mode. and it’s interesting when I think about it. 3 out of 5 of those F/Os I actually selfshipped with no problem from like, other people and their opinions on me and how I do the thing, never mind how I approached them myself, that was my own doing. It was the last two I had that started really pushing me out of that mindset. My relationships couldn’t stick in my brain the way they did back when I was 12/13 and I kinda... hate that? Just a little? Like sure, I grew out of having unhealthy obsessions I think, or at least I’m doing a little better at not making those outbursts and fits public, but breaking things off with the fourth (and at the time, final) F/O was not something I even did willingly, nor was the faded feeling of that mindset. You could say I was forced out of it. Kinda funny how it was basically caused by people judging me for who I shipped and how seriously I did it. I’ve had crushes over the last year and a half I was fictionally single, both on canon characters and OCs, and both instances I refrained from fawning over them because I didn’t want to freak people out, it was always about how others saw me, never about what made me happy or anything. I didn’t want to made to feel ashamed anymore for selfshipping so I basically stopped doing it and stopped being so serious about it in turn and as a result it’s became a lot more “casual” now, but not in the “just-for-fun” way but in a “fleeting, short-lived in hindsight” way.

It’s a shame because if I still had that feeling and headspace and whatnot I’d be doing the same with my current two F/Os. But I guess I unfortunately probably have to come to terms with the fact that I’ll more than likely never feel that strongly in the end like the others, which bothers me because there’s nothing about them that could bring issues for me or how others perceive me. And I don’t want the feeling to feel “fake” because of it either.

I still love them both, a whole helluva lot, and I love them just as much as I did F/O #4, especially if I can get this story with my sona done with, that way I can have something built off of and regain that long-term planning feeling I had but actually set off with it, but for now, the headspace has been on lockdown for a year and a half, it’s gonna be hard to get that feeling back, maybe not without a lot of enabling and even I tried doing that and it still hasn’t come back. And even then I still don’t want people thinking I’m weird for it...

Definitely one of those instances where I hate being an adult, but funny enough I was shipping seriously into adulthood as well, so I guess it’s more of me resenting how I was made to feel about it, and in doing so, it pushed me away from something that made me happy now I’ll probably never really get back.

And IK there are probably gonna be people asking “But Em what about that OC you shipped yourself with early in this blog’s lifespan?” and my answer to that is I want to focus primarily on the two canon characters I’m shipping with now, juggling between them and a private OC completely separate from here is not something my brain can actually do. Having a focus is good for me in this, consider the OC as like a backup in case things go wrong again, basically.

Anyways, that’s my dumb stupid rant about selfshipping of the year quota done and I know I’m making NO SENSE but let me ramble stupid okay okay.

#Em Speaks #long post #Wow RANT Alert #Aka Emerald talks about how selfshipping fucked her up and how she can't get into a mindset she misses getting into regarding F/Os #or rather how people approached how she selfshipped at the time (and moreso the who/what) fucked her up #people screwed me up in the end is what I'm saying #it's kinda funny actually #I remember how my dad saw my first F/O and asked me if I had a boyfriend irl #I had to tell him no. Because not only was I too young for an irl relationship. but it was still a fictional character despite the headspace #and thus I still treated my F/Os as such #he looked at me as if I was hiding something which was weird #considering my F/O was not even a boyfriend I had irl. if he was I would've mentioned it to my parents #idk. it's still something I remember very vividly to this day #and had to say it in the tags because same subject different topic #how many times have I talked about this subject idk #but it's 2022 have another one lmao

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baekhvuns · 4 years

Note

Hey 🥺 If ur not busy? Can i request a ateez reaction to them asking you to move in with them? But like u feel hesitant because thats a huge step and like damn thats commitment 💀😂 -RRS👅

ateez reactions ; requested (f)

。。。ateez asking you to move in with them ( kind of made me soft, highly recommend listening to euphoria by jk the joonpiter version, skip to 1:20 )

── kim hongjoong :

when hongjoong told you that he would love it if you would want to move in with him, in a new house that the two of you owned and lived in.

you were a bit hesitant, it’s not like you didn’t want to live with him. he is the love of your life and it wouldn’t hurt for you both to live together in a small little house.

but it was a huge commitment, moving in together was kind of . . scary?

“joong, w-what if we can’t pay the rent? what if we run out of grocery and don’t have enough money to get them? wha-“

hongjoong smiled fondly, stepping to place his hands on your shoulders and leaning down to match your level.

“we’ll figure it out together. . . there will be bad days but there will a lot of better days.” he says, you smile. “we’ll be in this together, you got me, i got you.”

your eyes softened at his words, reaching your hands to cup his face. “you got me,” you whispered leaning in to place your lips on his.

“i got you.”

── park seonghwa :

the two of you were standing on the wooden flooring covered with plastic wrapping with paint sprinkled over, your faces looking at the empty apartment waiting for you both to lighten it up with your souls.

“so we really doing this?” you broke the silence, squeezing seonghwa’s hand lightly while looking around the empty house.

seonghwa’s lips tugged up in a soft smile, looking down at your uncertain face. he knew you were hesitant of moving in together because it was a very big commitment, it was scary.

he removed his hand from your hand and moved to stand in front of you, you looked at him with wide eyes, putting your weight on him and leaning on his chest. pressing the side of your face in his chest, his one hand wrapped around you while the other around your head.

“we’ll do it together, i know it’s scary. . . so many what if’s and to do’s and to not.” he says and you pressed your lips in a firm line, nodding.

“what if we can’t handle it?” you asked lowly, making seonghwa chuckle.

“you can fight goons but can’t handle living with me?” he teased, “can’t handle a fine man like me?” you pulled back, eyeing him with disbelief.

“this isn’t funny hwa, this is our future, we’re living together.”

“i know, and we’ll be great at it. trust me.”

── jeong yunho :

you watched your stuff get moved from the living room of your house to the big moving truck by uniformed men.

“ah, yes that should be enough, we’ll see you there.” your boyfriend yunho’s voice could be heard very well from the entrance.

you took a seat on your bubble wrapped couch, hearing it make a crinkly noise. you hid your face with your hands, leaning your elbows on your thighs. a sigh escaped your lips, were you really ready to move in with yunho?

what if the two of you break up for some unexpected reason? the two of you would have to live with each other until one of you move out.

“what’s wrong,” yunho crouched in front of you, taking your hands in his and looking at you with soft eyes and you faced him.

“i’m scared. . yu what if we have a really big fight and we don’t want to live together any more? there’s so many possibilities of us going wrong-“

“nothing will go wrong,” he chuckles, “we’re literally engaged, unless you have someone else that you’re cheating on me with?” he teased and you smacked his shoulder lightly while he laughed.

“mr. jeong, are we taking these too?” you heard one of the truck drivers call out for yunho.

“i’ll be back,” he taps your cheek and leaves for the exit. you sit back on the seat, wondering of all possibilities and over thinking everything, but then you paused.

eyeing the engagement ring on your ring finger, you fiddled with the stone with your fingers. you and yunho were each other’s support, this ring symbolized your bond with him, you were the yin and yang to each other.

“you ready, baby?” you looked up to see yunho leaning on the doorframe, raking a hand through this mint hair.

this was a big step, yes you’ll have difficulties but there would be many great days.

“yeah,” you looked at him with a smile, “let’s do it.”

── kang yeosang :

the two of you were sitting on yeosang’s parents couch in their house, hands intertwined together as the two of you listened to what his parents said.

the two of you had been thinking about moving in together, so seeking his parents advice was something you both wanted to to hear desperately.

“we know it will be hard at first, that’s how yeosang’s mother and i had it.” you smiled listening to his dad. “you’ll have thoughts about leaving, or even feeling overwhelmed. . “ he continued and you squeezed yeosang’s hand slightly.

his dad was describing how you were feeling, how you were thinking and the unexpected possibilities the two of you could have.

“you’ll overcome them together,”

the nerve wracking experience of being independent and living together, something you had never thought that could come to you at any point in your life, thinking you’d be single all your life.

“it will be hard, but the two of you will do it.”

but when yeosang came into your life, your entire life changed. it was as if he was your missing puzzle piece, he completed you.

“so what do you think?”

you looked up at his dad, a firm smile on your lips. “we both are ready, we’ll do it,” you looked at yeosang who mirrors your expression.

and as if he heard what you were about to say, the two of you said it at the same time. “together.”

── choi san :

“i’ll leave you both to look around,” you and san bowed slightly and watched the landlady walk away.

you faced san, an uneasy feeling pooling inyour stomach. the two of you wanted to move in together, the day san asked you, you were kind of terrified.

you kept asking yourself if you were ready for this next step in your life, if the two of you were ready for this.

san even told you that he would fine with whatever your answer would be, he was ecstatic when you said okay. because you felt that you both were ready, it’ll be okay.

but now when you took a step in your maybe future house together, you couldn’t help but feel anxious, feeling unsure of your thoughts and overthinking everything.

“we don’t have to this if you’re not okay with it baby, i know, i understand. but if you do change your answer, or not, remember i’ll be there with you, okay?” you nodded, and san pulled away to go lool around.

leaving you in more doubts, the look on san’s face brought to much happiness to you. when you told him you would love to move in with him, he picked you up in his embrace and twirled your around as you threw your head back laughing.

you didn’t even realize it had been so long that you stood there staring into nothing that the landlady has to shake you out of your trance.

“ma’am, will you be considering to buy this house?” she asked you, gripping on her metal keys in hand.

you swallowed, looking over to see san’s back who explored the house. when you walked in the room after bidding goodbye to the lady, san turned around with his stunning smile.

“did she leave?” you nodded, “then we should go-“ before he completed his sentence, you ran up and hugged him, burying your face in his crook.

“we bought it, i said yes.”

── song mingi :

“let’s move in together,”

you and mingi laid beside each other on his bed, both your breathing’s matching with the others. the chill breeze in his apartment from the cold rain pouring outside.

“what?” you asked, moving a bit to face him, and he shifted in the same position.

“i want to live with you,” he takes your hand in his and you swallowed, “b-but mingi, isn’t this too early? don’t get me wrong-“

“i know it maybe early for you, but for me i’ve been thinking about this for so long. i want to be in the same place as you, wake up to see your beautiful face laying beside me.”

“you see i-“

“smell your scent on my clothes, having your food for dinner every night, have you in my arms every night and wake up in the same position.” he whispered out, your mouth parted and a little gasp flees your lips.

“i want you by my side, everyday.” you felt a tear drop down your cheek, hearing his low voice making your lips quiver as more tears roll down.

immediately wrapping your hands around his neck, you pulled him impossibly closer to you. small sniffles leaving your mouth and you nodded against his neck, “i love you,” you said, his larger hand caressing your back a soft smile on his lips and water brimming on his waterline.

“i would love to move in with you.”

── jung wooyoung :

you gasped when wooyoung suggested to move in together, “you what?”

you watched him take a sip from his orange juice carton, “well. . do you wanna move in with. . me?”

“are you serious?” you asked, and his face morph into panic mode. immediately standing up with his arms in the air as if the police had caught him for doing something bad.

“w-well, i’m not forcing you! please don’t think that, i just wanted you to come live with me-“

“i mean i already kinda do.”

“-because i believe that we’ve being dating for so long now, it’s only right for us to move in together in a small little house.” he continues and you narrow your eyes at him.

“wooyoung, you know living together is a huge step. so many things to do and so much changes around us, a-and what if it doesn’t work out?”

he sighed, running a hand through his hair before sitting down. “you’re right, maybe we shouldn’t.” he says it so lowly that you wanna engulf him in a hug and tell him you would love to move in with him.

“if we do move in together. . “ he looked up, “then you’re throwing the garbage away.”

“d-done.”

“you’ll help me clean the house from time to time.”

“deal.”

“you’ll help me cook,” you tapped your chin, and he nodded frantically.

“then we should be okay to move in together.” you said and wooyoung’s eyes flew wide open. “really?” he screeched and you nodded.

“okay, so preplanning , i ordered a bunch of stuff on. . “

── choi jongho :

you didn’t know if you were more afraid to move in with jongho or was he.

“so, are you sure about this?” you asked, craning your head to the right to look at him. his red locks falling over his forehead and a pout on his lips.

“hm, i thought a lot about it, and i wanted your opinion on it.” he says, and you nodded, taking in his hand and linking fingers with his.

“i think i would like that too,” you replied, and he jumped.

“really?”

“we’re you expecting a different answer?” you scanned his face.

“no no, it’s just that the other hyung’s said that their significant other was kinda shocked, so i thought you would be too,”

“uhuh.”

“and i even made a power point presentation on why we should move together, so that i could show you.” you threw your head back laughing.

“y-you made-e a powerpoint?” you spoke between your laughs, “hey hey, stop laughing!” he pouted and you laughed even more.

when you finally relaxed down, you asked him to show the presentation to you. “a-are you going to change your answer?”

you pretended to think, and jongho looked at you with concern. when you leaned closer to him, he thought he was done for.

“nope.”

#✉️ : ask #r.r.s 👅 anon #ateez #ateez reactions #ateez requests #ateez scenarios #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez fluff

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general-mahamatra · 3 years

Note

This is very specific but do you have any headcanons about double dates between Jeanbilee and Silvercyclops? That or how do you headcanon Charles and Erik’s sexualities? I think of Erik as pan and Charles as gay.

Hehe... Oh I can do this.

For Charles and Erik’s sexualities, I definitely agree. Charles is gay and Erik is either bi or pan (that one I’m not too solid on).

With the double date, catch me putting this in a modern setting. It’s under the line since there’s a lot

Individuals

Scott

Scott was definitely against the idea of a double date

Why? Because it’s kind of awkward to go out on a double date where the other couple... one of them is your ex

Yeah he’s still good friends with Jean! He’s just not sure how to handle going out to an event with her in a sort of romantic setting. Especially because there’s that slight problem that you KNOW he’s kinda anxious. Like what if people who knew him when he was dating Jean finds him all close and romantic with Peter?

Of course that’s not gonna happen. Man’s just anxious

But Peter managed to convince him and assure him that it would be alright

“It’s just a movie, Scotty. No one’s gonna care,” Peter had said. “Literally it’s dark and the seats are set up in pairs, you don’t need to worry.”

Scott protested immediately with, “but what if--”

“I’ll pay for the popcorn and treats. And the drinks. I’ll pay for it all for you.”

Scott caved pretty quickly

Except he didn’t know that before the movie the group was going out to dinner because for some reason his mind completely omitted that information. By the time they got together, he remembered, but oh man. He was not prepared

Yeah he was dressed up because Peter was really insistent on him wearing something decent, but the fact they were going out to dinner skipped his mind entirely

He was antsy during the dinner at first. Really shifty-eyed and such and was overall just visibly nervous

But he cooled down fast

He had a lot of fun at the dinner, even if he was a bit awkward with Jean at first

But he loosened up. He found himself enjoying the event much more as time went on and he even managed to calm down enough to comfortably interact with Jean just like he used to

It was actually kinda refreshing

He had whole conversations with the ginger. While Jubilee and Peter were going off about their crazy ideas and plans and things that have happened to them over the past weeks, Scott and Jean were just talking about... life. Catching up on what they’ve missed since they split apart and inevitably pulled away from each other (Scott moreso than Jean)

It brought a sense of closure to Scott that he didn’t realize he needed

He found himself warming back up to interacting with Jean and was... happy with it

Peter

Oh Peter was excited for the double date

Ever since Jubilee ran up to him and proposed it to him he was completely on board. Hell, he even helped plan it out with Jean and Jubilee at times

It was actually Jean’s idea for Peter to convince Scott that things would be alright. She knew he was worried about it, even if it was all irrational. She also knew that he was their best bet on helping Scott out and getting him comfortable with the idea

So Peter did just that

He actually did a lot more than just blatantly tell Scott that he was going to pay for everything at the movies

Peter did a lot of minimal prodding. Stuff to get Scott to talk in a way that wasn’t too intrusive or anything (it’s honestly a special ability of Peter’s). It helped him understand what he was gonna have to do to help his boyfriend out

Because Scott had never been on a double date before

And Peter actually found that kinda funny

But when it came to the date itself, he was completely down for it. He wanted to do it since the moment Jubilee told him about it and he decided he was going to put about as much planning effort into it as her. After all, it’s not different from other... events they’ve planned in the past. They have a perfect system

The movie was his idea

He deemed it “necessary after eating at some dumb fancy place. Because who in their right mind is gonna go out to eat and then just head home at like, 7pm?”

(Peter was also the reason they didn’t end up going to a restaurant where you had to dress up SUPER fancy)

(Granted he wasn’t entirely successful. Jean shot him down and made him settle with having to dress up a little. She wasn’t going to drive them all to dinner if it was gonna be some fast food shit)

Honestly, him and Jubilee are on the exact same wavelength for the date

Jean

Jean was definitely the TRUE brains behind the double date

She was the one who mentioned the idea to Jubilee who then took the idea and ran with it, making it a true plan

She did it because, well, she’s always wanted to have a double date. It was only possible now that she was with Jubilee and her other friends were together

Besides, she like anyone else was aware of just how close Jubilee and Peter were. It was honestly a perfect plan

Scratch something off her bucket list while also getting the two away from their peers so everyone could actually catch a break from their high energy

Actual perfection right there

That and she could tell Scott was awkward around her, even if they’ve been broken up for almost an entire year by this point

There were a lot of times Jean tried to reconnect with him and get him to loosen up but nothing really worked until she came up with the double date

It would give her the opportunity to get her friend back while also allowing him to be in a sort of comfortable environment (she’s noticed the way he tends to cling to Peter whenever she comes around. She isn’t sure if she should be hurt by it or not but she knows he doesn’t mean ill will)

She has to admit though, Peter’s idea of a movie after was a great idea. It’s not something she would’ve put forward or even thought about

Then again... she wasn’t expecting the duo to take over the planning and make it a lot more “light” than an actual “true” date

Jean was looking to reserve them stuff out at a true fancy restaurant. Maybe get them to all dress up and put them in a romantic setting but she was quickly put in her place by Jubilee and Peter’s insistence that it’s a double date, they don’t need to be in a super romantic area

And honestly, they had a point

But she refused to let them make the event completely casual. If she was going to be involved in any planning, they were gonna go somewhere where they have to dress up at least a little

She won that argument easily

Jubilee

OH MAN

Okay yeah Jubilee was definitely the front runner with the planning and setting everything up

Even with the double date originally being Jean’s idea, Jubilee took it upon herself to plan it all out mostly because she wanted to treat her girlfriend

(You act as thought Jubilee doesn’t know her own partner’s bucket list. Jean literally has it written out in a notebook under her pillow, Jubilee has gone through it multiple times)

She wanted it to be perfect

Which is why she went to Peter

Jean was the one who planted the idea of going on the double date with Scott and Peter but let’s be real, Jubilee would’ve chosen the boys anyways. They were the best bet

Either way, she was ecstatic

She literally has so much experience with planning from the pranks and events she’s set up with Peter, she knew exactly what she was doing when she got with him to plan everything out

Jubilee was actually the one who chose where they were going to dinner

It was a nice Hawaiian themed place. A seafood restaurant with a tropical theme and generally considered a 4 or 5 star restaurant. It was a perfect place, especially with its looser “dress code” (it was basically a sort of business casual, for lack of better terms. If she tried to describe it she would just point to Scott wearing a nice button up with no tie and Jean wearing a cute blouse and flowy pants to match)

(The really funny part is her and Jean low-key made it out to Peter like super fancy restaurants require you to wear formal clothes just so he would cave and “go somewhere less strict”)

(He never found out)

But if she was going to be honest, her favorite part of the double date was the movie afterwards

It was the newest Men in Black and she was losing her mind throughout it

Did she tune out the boys while they were nerding out quietly to her right? Yes, yes she did. She was much more focused on the humor and action and experiencing it with her girlfriend

Overall

Not gonna lie, Scott definitely clung to Peter at first

Like that much is obvious, but it really wasn’t that... obvious? It was if you looked closely at how he hovered closer to the older boy or how his head always seemed to be turned slightly towards him during conversations as if looking to him for stuff to say

Peter noticed it for sure, just as Jean did

Both of them let it happen. Because even when Scott loosened up as the night went on, he still wanted to stick close to his comfort and they didn’t want to pull him away from that

Man just doesn’t handle break ups well

Honestly though, the dinner was wonderful for the entire group. There was so much laughter and chatting and catching up, especially since they aren’t consistently hanging out together anymore

Jubilee convinced Scott to try some really spicy squid dish that he couldn’t remember the name of for the life of him and Peter just... kept ordering more chocolate milk

(They quickly learned that he forgot refills aren’t free)

(That didn’t stop him)

Outfits

Scott: Nice blue button up and black slacks. Honestly really basic typical “oh that guy looks cishet” kinda look, especially with the very plain uniform look to him

Peter: Black button up with white specks across it that look like stars and some slacks as well except his belt was a bit more... decorative than Scott’s. (It’s colorful)

Jean: A cute, loose blouse with a nice white and red floral/watercolor sort of pattern that sits nicely on her frame with some flowy pants and flats. Her hair was done into a braid

Jubilee: A nice long sleeve sweater-like yellow top and a short white skirt with a pair of flats as well. She had her hair down and man was it nice and curly

Honestly everyone was dressed so nicely, it was almost a miracle

During the movie, the couples sat together. That’s a given. But the way they interacted was definitely different from each other

Jean and Jubilee were vibing in their seats. They had chocolate and slushies and popcorn and were overall having a great time just enjoying the movie. There wasn’t too much commentary other than them laughing together or making fun of something they saw on screen

(Jean one time did yell at someone for having their phone on in the movie...she’s that person)

Jubilee was constantly touchy with Jean whenever something crazy happened or there was something intense. Hell, she ended up wrapping around Jean and crying when her favorite character died

Jean took it and honestly... it made her soft

She didn’t know it was possible to fall even further in love

Peter and Scott, though, were different. They too had all the treats and candy and such like the other couple but they were much closer than the girls. They were BASICALLY cuddling (Scott will never admit it). Like come on, you know it’s true

Scott was curled up against his boyfriend. Like head resting against Peter as the older had his arm around him. You know the drill

Again, Scott will never admit to it

But the entire time they were geeking out. Both of them grew up with sci-fi, especially MiB. And BOTH were excited for the newest movie and were having a great time pointing out the aliens and all that stuff and just overall having fun

After the date, the drive was both full of energy and calm. It was 10 by the time they were leaving the theatre and honestly... it’s an experience none of them would give up for the world

...they planned another one for the future

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infernalrevenge · 3 years

Text

I’ll Cover You, My Love

Fandom: Choices - Foreign Affairs

Pairing: Ayna Seth x M!MC (Magnus Quezon)

Rating: T (for some self-deprecating stuff)

Summary: Ayna feels guilty about Magnus taking the brunt of the scandal, but he is having none of her negative talk.

Notes: Ayna betrayal plotline? Who's that? Never heard of her. That never happened. I don't know what you're talking about. Anyway, here's a comfort fic for my favorite TA, because I will not take any Ayna slander, not even from Ayna herself. I would just like to say that before I locked in my scandal partner, I had such a hard time picking between Ayna and Blaine, but I went with the latter for maximum drama. Doesn’t mean I still can’t ship my current MC with Ayna though, because I can do what I want. I hope y’all enjoy!

Also hi, I know you asked to be tagged in this :P @robintora

----------

Ayna leaned against her hand propped up on her desk, the words on the paper she was reading starting to blur as she tried her best to stay awake. Ever since she saw the front page cover of the stupid tabloid and Magnus had been the talk of the proverbial town, she hadn’t been able to get a good night's rest as she was wracked with anger and guilt.

Anger at the people who have passed judgement on him so quickly, who decided they knew exactly what kind of person he was based on one stupid picture and the speculations not just on the company he kept, but also on his character...

...and guilt for not being there to take the fall with him. A part of her kept wondering what might have happened if she didn’t get the chance to cover her face the way she did that night. Another part wondered what would have happened if she had just come forward earlier, but Magnus quickly shot the idea down. He explained to her that it was for the best, that he wanted to protect her from the scrutiny.

"You don't have an entire PR team that can spin the story around or make sure it gets buried. This won't just ruin your image -- if you lose your job because of this, it could ruin your life. Please don't say anything to anyone. Let me do this for you, I can handle it," he told her the last time they talked in person. She knew he was just trying to reassure her, but even she can see through the sadness and stress in his eyes, despite the smile he gave then.

At the moment, she simply was not in the best state of mind, and adding to the pile the other things she had going on in her life... she was damn near close to bursting. She was just about to take another sip of coffee, desperate to stay awake, when she heard a knock on her office door. "Come in."

In popped up a familiar head of fiery red hair, his eyes seeming to dart around cautiously before realizing she was alone. A bright smile shone on his face as he came in, waving off to someone from behind the door.

"Magnus, what are you doing here?" Ayna yelped in surprise, standing up.

"I came to see you," he said like it was the most obvious thing, slowly closing the door behind him to make minimal sound.

"What, w-what if someone saw you? Someone might've tailed you o-or people might get suspicious--"

"Hey, don't worry," Magnus stepped toward her, laying his hand on top of hers. "If anyone saw me, they might just think I needed to talk to you about something -- you're also my academic advisor, after all. Plus, Tatum checked and not many other people are out there. I told him to take a short walk so people won't suspect that I’m here for too long."

"Yeah, but we need to be more careful still, I don't want you to--"

"Ayna, I promise I've got it covered, okay?" He squeezed her hand in his, and laid the other one on top. "Just trust me."

She looked up at him, sighing wearily as she let her shoulders relax and sat back down. The young man offered a smile of reassurance, taking a seat from across her desk and carrying it over to the other side to sit next to her. “So, how’ve you been?”

“Honestly? Not great,” she replied, leaning back as she glanced at her laptop screen, multiple windows and tabs opened. “This manuscript isn’t exactly easy to write,” she added with a chuckle. Working on it had been her way of distracting herself from other problems recently, but it wasn’t entirely successful. Her mind had still been brewing with “what-ifs” -- it was much easier to be told not to worry than to actually do it. But she didn’t want to dwell on herself for too long.

“What about you, though? I know the last few weeks have been...” she trailed off, looking down as she was unsure.

“It hasn’t been all bad. I did get Joaquin, after all.” Ah yes, that lynx he got at the pet store during that live interview. Ayna had tuned into it then, and she remembered her fists clenching when the host brought up the scandal unprompted. She almost wished she could have told off that nosy woman to keep out of his personal life, but the way he was able to take back control of it was quite an admirable sight.

“You wanna see pictures?” He excitedly brought out his phone, leaning closer to show her the whole album he had dedicated to the small feline.

“You’ve had him for all of two weeks and you’ve already taken, what, a hundred pictures?” She couldn’t help the amused laugh that escaped her, listening to him coo at nearly every photo he swept through -- some of Joaquin jumping around, some playing with toys, and even some with Dionne in the frame. She had to admit, the combination of the adorable pictures and the equally adorable sight of him describing each one did help lift her spirits a little.

“I can’t help being a proud papa now,” he said, stopping on the picture of the one he took of Joaquin’s first day in the suite. “He’s been helpful in... distracting me, I guess. He somehow just knows what I’m feeling, coming in to comfort me at the right time. The break from reality is always welcome.”

Magnus looked at the woman, noting how her eyebrows furrowed and the frown she wore as he talked about his experience. “Sounds like you might need a break too.”

“This dissertation isn’t gonna finish itself.”

“You know that’s not what I mean, Ayna.”

Guess he managed to learn a thing or two from the lynx then.

“I know you said not to worry about it, that you’d handle it, but...” she sighed, shrinking into herself as she avoided his gaze. “I can’t help it when it’s about you. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, having thousands of eyes watching you, like they’re waiting for you to slip up.”

The Rutherlandian reached around and wrapped an arm on her shoulders, pulling her closer. “It’s not really anything I haven’t dealt with before. In a way, I’ve kinda gotten used to it.”

“But a scandal of this proportion? That... that has to be different,” she replied, trying to allow herself to lean into him, but not feeling like she deserved his comfort. “It’s not just people waiting for you to mess up now, because they already think you have and they want to watch the whole downward spiral.”

Magnus knew she had been feeling guilty over not getting to step forward and take part of the “blame” (if one could even call it that), but he had no idea how much this was eating at her.

“I can’t help but feel awful that you’ve become the target of such harassment. It wasn’t even your fault! And your mother shouldn’t blame you for everything either, you’re just living your life!”

“Ayna--”

“And here I am. I’m not the one being swarmed by paparazzi and having personal details of my life picked at, but I’m the one who’s stressed and anxious about it. God, how fucking selfish is it of me, feeling sorry for myself when you’re the one dealing with it all. It’s stupid of me to just--”

Ayna felt her face turned up, a gentle yet firm hand cupping her cheek as she met another pair of brown eyes. Anything else she might have wanted to say died off as they looked at each other, but she felt grounded by the way his thumb caressed her cheek.

“You don’t have to feel bad for worrying about me. I love that you care,” he said softly, a small smile playing on his lips. “But it’s not your fault either. What happened already happened, we can’t change that.”

I still wish I could.

The teacher’s assistant let out a shaky breath, leaning into his touch as she brought her hand up to cover his. “I... don’t deserve you, Magnus.”

“No, no, don’t say that. You are kind and beautiful, and you just have-- you have such pure intentions. I know you want to weather the storm with me on this, but I’m doing this for both our sakes. I want you to come out of this safe. Even if they did somehow know it was you, I’d still be keeping you out of it. You shouldn’t have to go through what I do.”

She shook her head, her eyes starting to look glassy as she took in his words. She wanted to believe what he was saying about her, but it was so hard. She didn’t know how he could see those things in her, especially now, vulnerable as she was. She could feel her throat start to choke up, but she spoke anyway. “I wish you didn’t have to... go through it alone. This... this isn’t worth it.” I’m not worth it.

“It is worth it, because you are absolutely worth going through this for.” He started to brush away the tears that rolled down her cheek, before digging into his pockets to find a handkerchief.

“And I’m not going through this alone. I still have you here with me,” he patted her face dry gently, wanting to let her absorb the meaning of his words. He wanted her to know that he meant every word -- that he was sincere in his feelings for her. “Even if you’re not out there with me, knowing that you have my back helps give me the strength to get through another day.”

His patient reassurance lightened the burden inside, if only a little. He knew it wouldn’t be so easy to get her to believe it all, but he would make her see it someday, no matter how long it took.

“I care about you so much, Ayna. You mean more to me than you know.”

Even though it didn’t fully relieve her of the heaviness, those words struck her in a way that helped pull her out of her head. For the first time since the day started, she smiled. A genuine, loving smile through her tears, from knowing that the person she adored so deeply felt the same way about her. If earlier her heart ached with sadness and guilt, now it ached with affection and love for him.

“I care about you too, Magnus,” she said with a sniffle, clearing her throat as it came out rather soft and high-pitched. “I care about you so, so much. I just kinda wish... I could, like, smack away every paparazzo trying to get near you right now.”

Magnus laughed at her exclamation. Sure, he expected that kind of outburst from his friend Blaine, but from Ayna? It was both amusing and endearing.

“Well when we become public, maybe you could. Tatum might even help you with that,” he replied, giving her the handkerchief.

A simple word gave her pause, making her look up at him again, a hopeful glint in her eyes. “When?”

“Well yeah. I... I really like you, Ayna. And I’m not just saying that, I really do. I was kinda hoping that, one day, when things are more, uh, quiet, we could actually be... you know, like, together together.” If his arm wasn’t around her then, he would have been wringing his hands together out of nerves. Was it too soon to bring up that kind of talk? Too soon for them? What if he just jumped into this? He hadn’t even considered if she wanted a relationship yet. Wait wait, he should backtrack--

Ayna pushed forward to kiss him, hands cupping his face as she kept him close. It didn’t take long for Magnus to fall into it, returning it just as eagerly. He could practically feel her smiling against him, a light and fluttering sensation filling his stomach. After a few moments in bliss, they slowly pulled apart, a wide smile on both their faces.

“I would love to be together together with you,” she teased, earning an exasperated sigh from the First Son.

“I get the feeling you’re not gonna let me live that down, huh?”

She only laughed in response, pecking him quickly on the lips again. “Thank you for everything so far, Magnus. I hope I didn’t seem ungrateful for your protection.”

“Not at all, don’t give me that talk.” He rested his forehead onto hers, his gaze turning soft. “You know I’d do anything for you.”

Her thumb gently caressed his cheek, smiling fondly at him. “Would you... let me meet Joaquin some time?”

Needless to say, he said yes.

(The next time Magnus visited her, he came in with an odd lump tucked in the front of his hoodie.

“You know, when I asked to meet Joaquin, I didn’t mean you had to sneak him into my office.”

“...do you want me to go then?”

“No, show me the kitten.”)

#choices foreign affairs #choices fa #ayna seth #ayna x mc #ayna seth x mc #male!mc #playchoices

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