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#maybe because im not passionate about anything
mementomorimo · 2 months
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I love passionate people.
I am a moth to the spark in their eyes.
Painters, scientists, dreamers, galore.
I have loved them all.
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bylertruther · 2 years
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"will shouldn't use a gun in season five because his father probably taught him how to use one and that could be a bad reminder for him" have you considered that will using what was very likely a Bad experience to save his life in what is undoubtedly an even worse experience could be a good thing? have you considered that him using a skill he was forced to learn to save not only himself but (as is likely more important and meaningful to him) the lives of others could give him a sense of usefulness and safety knowing that he isn't defenseless and can stand his and others' ground if need be? especially considering that's a skill that we've only seen hopper and nancy possess, making it that much more valuable and himself more helpful to the group? after everything in s1 and s2, he's probably felt guilty for having endangered them and dozens of other people multiple times, i don't think it'd be out there for him to feel "happy" that he can finally return the favor and protect them for once (especially after having complained about being babied and treated like a doll).
"will doesn't have and shouldn't have powers because that makes him different and he doesn't want to be different" not only are you wrong lol <3 but how have you not noticed that will's entire thing since the very beginning is that he is different and he knows it and while he does get his heart broken over the fact that this means he faces constant unfairness in life, he still refuses to be any other way? will doesn't conform nor does he ever try to even when others try to force or shame him to. he gets frustrated and upset at being treated differently, yes, but he stays true to himself. to battle that feeling he sometimes gets that tells him he's a mistake, a feeling he gets not from his own otherness but from living in a world that Makes it an otherness and thus isolates him for it, he seeks out that which he loves and enjoys and throws himself wholeheartedly at it. will lives his truth and is willing to suffer the consequences for it. he refuses to live in darkness and let it take a hold of him. he holds on to hope and all that makes him feel better for being different. he holds on to art, to dnd, to video games, to his family and his friends, and everything that brings him joy and reminds him that it's okay to be different. in s1 joyce defends will ("he's missing is what he is") and jonathan tells him he shouldn't like things that other people (namely their homophobic dad) try to force him to like, that he should like what he genuinely likes. in s2 jonathan gives will the freak speech and tells him that no one normal ever accomplished anything and mentions bowie. in s3, he doesn't get a speech, (though joyce does tell him that when he falls in love he won't find it gross [avoiding the word girlfriend and leaving it neutral]) but he does face backlash from someone that IS trying to conform and IS shaming will for not letting go of "childish" things aka his interests, what's important to him, and what he wants. does will back down or shy away in shame? no. instead, he lets mike sit in his shame for having said something that hurtful, and he says "yeah. i guess i did. i really did." clearly this is a conversation about what makes will different aka his sexuality bc he goes and destroys castle byers (the safe place he and his brother built once their homophobic dad left which is a place will can be himself unapologetically) with what is likely a bat that lonnie gave him when trying to get him into baseball. he calls himself stupid and donates his dnd books, but i don't see this as an act of conformity (he tells mike as much, suggesting he'll just use his books + if he was ashamed he wouldn't have painted the party as their dnd characters and given it to him of all people lol). he felt stupid because he thought they'd always be crazy together, that they were of the same mind and heart still, and that they had the same brand of "otherness" if you catch my drift. then in s4 we get jonathan's tender "you're my brother and there is nothing absolutely nothing that will ever change that" which is the most direct anyone has ever been about that which makes will different. and he doesn't shy away from it! he doesn't deny it, because we can see from his confession and how he breaks down that he's desperately been wanting and needing to hear that. he accepts that love and allows himself to be held and seen by someone else, as he has every other time. because will doesn't hate being different, he just hates that he has to live in a world where that's seen as wrong and thus makes him feel like he doesn't belong because of it. but he doesn't change himself. he doesn't feel ashamed of it. he doesn't see it as a flaw in himself or others and he never has. will is different and he knows it and he wouldn't have it any other way.
will's story since the beginning has been about being different and going through awful things, and managing to not only find the light in it but also make it out stronger because of it all. it's always been about using what makes him different as a good thing and as something he uses to save himself and others.
will being good with a gun bought him time with whatever kidnapped him. will knowing how to run and hide kept him alive in the upside down. will acted as a spy while possessed and managed not only to save hopper but also tell them how to finish this. will's experiences and senses helped them figure out what was happening in season three. will's love and loyalty inspires mike and manages to bring him to a better place even if just for a moment in the van, and again he's the one that knows vecna's current state, aaaand had he been in hawkins at the time it likely would've gone a lot better because as dustin said "we need will".
taking something awful and turning it into a good thing and a source of strength is a wonderful trope. it's inspiring and empowering not only for the character but for those that could use that hope and reminder that there's always a silver lining, that life isn't all darkness and shadows and hurt. not only that, but it's something that they've literally always done for will since the very beginning. he is the prime character for that. his entire message has always been that it's okay to be different and that you can find strength and peace in that; that the things that make you different aren't a detriment, they're precisely what make you strong. like... i'm sorry, but have you not been paying attention at all whatsoever this entire time or... :/
#some of u heard 'sometimes it makes you feel like a mistake' and just forgot every other season ever it seems like#but idk maybe IM the outlier here lmao#characters like mike steve and eleven i can see the conformity argument for#BUT WILL?!?!?!?#will who has always drawn and listened to his music and wanted to hang out with his friends and play dnd and who#gets made fun of for so many things even by those that mean the world to him but has never ONCE tried to change#anything about who he is over that..... THAT'S who you think thinks being different is a bad thing!?!?!#will who has never lied about being a loner or what he likes or what he wants in life or has dressed like other people want him to#will who specifically has received multiple It's Okay To Be Different speeches and came out of them believing them is the character#that you think hates being different? will who loves mike's nerdy self and thinks the absolute world of him and TELLS HIM AS MUCH AND#CONFESSES HIS GAY LOVE TO DESPITE THE SUMMER OF HOMOPHOBIA AND THE AIRPORT FIASCO AND THAT DREW A#FUCKING HEART ON HIS SHIELD UNABASHEDLY AND CONFESSED IN FRONT OF TWO OTHER PEOPLE TOO ON TOP OF THAT#IN THE EIGHTIES!!!!!!! TO MIKE!!!! WHO COULDNT TOUCH HIM AND HAS A CONSERVATIVE FAMILY AND DIDNT TALK TO HIM FOR A YEAR#IS WHO YOU THINK HATES BEING DIFFERENT . HELLO#literally everything that he goes through is turned into something 'good' because that's the POINT!!!!#HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE NORMAL!!! HE IS NOT THE CHARACTER U SHOULD BE MAKING THOSE ARGUMENTS FOR LMAO#jus say u don't want him to have powers bro don't be lying on my blorbito's name like that 😭😭😭😭😭#anyway. crazed frenzy is over im normal now <3#u kno how the long and all too passionate bordering on Is This Bitch Okay mobile posts go#back to being offline now byeeeee 🏃‍♀️
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In inspiration of that Whoopsy-Daisy wiki Ice Fail Moment™🤪, please reblog and/or tag with your personal Ice School/Magic/Wizard headcanons or stories because I know fuck all about Ice wizards and y'all need some love ot seems like
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mitsundere · 1 year
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TGAA 2 SPOILERS !
my thoughts: albert harebrayne was introduced as a goofy mad scientist with failed logic and a close friend of van zieks but he's more than that. he's a PROFESSOR. he studied in germany and had his work published in a pamphlet. he can work complex mathematical equations. he cares for his invention but not to the point of purposely hurting others for the sake of it. he may not be so talented, but he has the spirit and ambition for it. incredibly passionate in his work. regretful that he was tricked and involved in a murder. he trusts so easily and wholeheartedly that it's both a flaw and his strength. treats van zieks like a true friend even after 10 years of no contact.
the thought that translates into my drawings: hee hee goofy scientist!!!
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funkervogt · 10 months
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This is like the only site that doesnt completely mask off demonize NPD its so crazy this constant throwing around of the term narcissist like Is Your Mom A Narcissist? How to Avoid Narcissists. How to diagnose everyone you don't like in your life with Narcissism. The existence of the colloquial term Narcissistic Abuse. And its funny they never say NPD. Thats not their buzzword. Its an issue of nobody taking accountability. Oh you did something that broke my boundary so im diagnosing you with Evil And Unfixable Disorder. (They dont know about neuroplasticity) Yes sure its treatment resistant but that doesnt mean that every case is unfixable and no one with npd will ever be aware of their disorder. Becuase part of the fucking problem is everyrhing online is How To Deal With Evil Narcissistic Parents or Boyfriend or whatever and there is like no education on its core causes and onset that is presented with empathy and understanding and ways to heal. Ive seen someone diagnosed+self aware+healing say it feels like you're sick inside. It feels horrible. It develops in childhood as a defense mechanism. Thats all it is and it makes sense. The core of it is shame and everything is built around it to defend against it and control what triggers it. It hurts others because that's what mental illness does. It's so complicated. It destroys your relationships. People are not required to stay with you when you are doing very real damage to them. The thing is that THERE IS HEALING for npd, but there's so much fucking stigma that finding out how is almoat impossible and you just get told you're evil forever with no cure and everyone should stay away from you forever to protect themselves and you deserve to be alone forever. When one of the keys to healing is always self compassion. Search NPD on instagram explore and tell me how thats possible to even begin to foster with all this buzzword shit out there. Ok. Whatever. Hi. Infographics when u tell them u have bpd vs infographics when u tell them u have npd
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crescentmp3 · 10 months
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in unrelated news i have realised that the baby name websites are absolutely useless
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flamboyant-king · 1 year
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Happy New Years!
I hope to show up more often on here with art to share!
Maybe just posting dumb stuff, but I also hope to see y’all more often too. 
\(^o^) Cheers!
#i want to be more disciplined this year and actually work towards something artistically#maybe making more comics or work on a game or improve my art even#maybe sell merch or consistently do commissions. Its so inconsistent because of all my doubt ya know#I gotta be my first fan and love eveything i do#i need to have something to show for my passions before my parents die#or they are gonna die knowing i have not achieved anything. In things they wanted orwhat i wanted#and i want to show them that i believe in myself for once#ive done nothing worth talking about. I have nothing to bring to the dinner table#i have n o t h i n g because no one let me choose what i wanted#My parents will not have anything to be proud of and its theirs and my fault#so i just need to do something. S o m e t h i n g#i could have been something. I could have had anything#but alas. My hands are empty. My legacy is blank. And my future is clouded.#but i need to have love for myself and what i do#i see folks who arent popular who arent that skilled doing things i wish i could do#and they have confidence. They love themselves. They are passionate.#i had passion but i dont have love and i dont have confidence#i tried. I did. I had a year i didnt self depreciate at all. But you know when you get crushed to bits you kind of fall back#for over a decade i wanted to table at an artist alley. For years i wanted to sell merch#for yearsi wanted to make a business card just to be like haha look at me im a professional#i have no confidence in myself. I have no love for myself. I have no faith in myself. Because no one had those for me.#my brothers had some faith in me. But when my wrist just died it just disappeared#they still send me art job openings opportunities contests internships etc#and i never go for it#because i have so little faith in myself that i just dont even try#i just want someone to be there right next to me and help me through it#I want my brother to be there next to me helping me apply. I want my parents with me helping me try#i want my friends with me to guide my hand to that submit button. That apply button.#i think yeah all of my faith died when i couldnt go to art college. They really wanted me i was ready and i applied there all on my own#but no. But no. But nonononono. I need a high paying job like engineering and comouter science
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evadingreallife · 1 year
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things not to ask me ever: anything. I tend to overshare. by a lot. you've been warned.
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aro-aizawa · 2 years
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i hate that when i have such a passionate belief of an aro headcanon, i viscerally hate anything that insinuates otherwise. even if i force myself to tolerate it, i’m never going to be 100% okay with whatever contradicts it and it’s so hard to let go of that hate.
#shut up danni#i mean. my url probs speaks volumes lmao but in this case it's not that#im rewatching doctor who bc i need to get caught up again i've p much missed all of 13 except the beginning#so i decided that i'd start from clara to ease into 12 but i forgot that my mortal enemy river song is in that season finale rip#bc i v passionately believe that the doctor is generally aromantic#like there are a few exceptions to the rule like ten was deffo demiro#and i don't think i know anything about classic who to give my opinion on them but i might go back and watch them#i've been meaning to but i'm worried it'd be too different to what i'm used to and i won't like it#which is a shame bc i've grown up w doctor who i don't wanna dislike anything abt it#anyways back to my point - the doctor is deffo aro#and bc of that i hate river song w a passion and i don't like hating characters it makes me sad#maybe its because literally all of the episodes besides her debut episodes focus all on her#and why she's SO important and amazing#and SHE'S the only one worthy of marrying the doctor#urgh#if anything i think that sure she might be 12's wife but none of the others#look they can't have it both ways in that every doctor is the exact same in romantic/sexual orientation#but also say that every doctor is different and every incarnation is different in personality#anyways river song makes me sad and i wish she didn't exist but i hope that she stays forever gone#her last episode was a good ending for her and i hope i never see her again
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Someone help me out here please
I work at a summer camp, and at this camp we tell a legend at the end of every week, a fantastical story about the origins of camp. A very fun, very important part of camp. The story means a fuckton to me and a lot of people.
A part of why it means a fuckton to me is because a woman I used to be very close with used to tell the story, and then she passed it on to me to tell.
It's a long sad story about why we're not close, but the important thing to note is, we can't talk to each other. At all. And we agreed not to pass messages through other people or anything cuz it just really hurts.
Back to the story. It's oral tradition, but I decided I wanted to collect transcripts from as many of the storytellers as I can and put them all together to help preserve it, as it's so important to camp and many people. Part of the reason I started was because that old friend of mine gave me a transcript of the story. It means a lot to me because of her, I started this important project because of her, she's a big part of it even though she doesn't know it.
Soon I'm going to send the various transcripts I've collected to the people that have helped me. Everyone that's given me a story will receive the entire set I've collected and have access to it forever and ever, to see the new stories and watch the history grow. I think it'll be really super fucking cool.
The thing is. I believe that old friend deserves to have access to it all too. After all, she was such a big part of it. However, according to the promise that we made, I can't contact her either directly or indirectly. So I don't think I can just email her the transcripts with everyone else or give it to someone to pass on to her. Right?
I'm torn because:
She deserves to have this part of camp history because I know how important it is to her and how much she would love to see it grow. She really loves the story and she helped so much with the project, even if she doesn't know it. But she deserves to know it and it doesn't feel right to leave her out of this.
BUT at the beginning of the whole document I'm going to write a quick preface explaining the project and thanking those that have helped and etc. I have to thank her in that, everyone that gains access to the document should know how much she impacted it. But if she reads that from me, it might be too much. If I just sent her the stories, maybe, maybe that might be okay. But the foreword has to be included and she has to be included in it, but we agreed not to contact each other and her seeing that foreword might break the promise, if sending the document doesn't. Just sending the document would probably even break it.
She deserves to have it, but she doesn't deserve to have her trust in me broken, and I'm afraid that she'll be hurt by being left out, but also she might be hurt if I send it.
I texted my best friend, who's friends with both of us, and he said that I should just send it. But the is a really big, important thing that I could easily fuck up if I'm not careful. Do I play it safe and not send it, leaving her out even though I know that's not fair to her? Or do I take a risk and send it, even though it might hurt her?
#only two people know about why we cant talk#and thats my best friend and my girlfriend#both of them are friends with us both and theyve requested to be left out of any communication or problems between us#i only asked my best friend because he helps me think rationally and hes okay with smaller questions like that#but he wouldnt reach out to her to kind of get a feel for how she'd feel or anything. neither would my gf#and i fully understand and respect that#my best friend said he thinks i should just send it but idk if hes right#that old friend and i... theres a small possibility that eventually we could be friends again#if i dont fuck it up before then#but i honestly dont know what to do right now. i think either way i could fuck it up#this project has been such a source of happiness for me and finally i get to share it with people that have the same passion for it#but i remember through the entire process#i kept wishing that she couldve been there helping me#i knew she wouldve loved it and been so good at it and helpful#this couldve been ours. it made sense for it to be ours. it should have been ours#im so proud of what i did. and she helped. she doesnt know it but she helped so much#without her this wouldnt have happened#she deserves to know that. but im so afraid of what could happen#if i send it theres no going back. and maybe she wont consider it communication and she'll just appreciate it#or maybe she'll see it as disrespectful and there goes all possibility of us ever having a relationship again#but maybe she'll see it as disrespectful if i dont share it or give her credit. and she deserves credit. she deserves to see this#but i honestly have no idea one way or the other. what's the right answer? what do i do?#if y'all have some insight please lmk#i cant think rationally rn and i can't really talk to my best friend or gf about it#i was so excited until i realized i have to make this decision and now i have the anxiety shakes#im still excited. but also terrified. and shaking#help please
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spaceradars · 2 years
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why does it feel so weird to me to be in a position of "authority" as an assistant for this class 😫😫
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adambomb82 · 2 months
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areislol · 26 days
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twitter links w/ hsr men
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pairings. blade, jing yuan, aventurine, sunday, gepard, sampo x afab/fem! reader
warnings. NSFW no minors! please read at your own discretion, explicit/18+ smut, established relationships for most, brat taming for blade, mention of being called a whore (teasing manner) for aventurine, mentions of puppy for gepard but there's no meaning about it. aggressive sex, passionate sex, masturbation (fem.) sub! gepard for 1 twt link, fingering
a/n. i don't think i've done one for hsr yet... or genshin so maybe that'll be in the future. sorry (not sorry) guys i'm ovulating (i need them all carnally). also i think for some you need to be logged in twitter for them to work! this only has a couple of characters cause i'm a bit lazy today
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blade
✧ fucking you so good from behind, "you like that don't you?"
✧ eating you out in a room just beside his colleuges room, he likes the risk and it turns on him. you feel the same way, right?
✧ teasing you for being such a brat, spanking your tight pussy and rubbing soft languid on your sensitive clit. you'll learn your lesson sooner or later.
✧ the size difference never fails to amaze him. but that's fine, he'll take his time with you.
✧ making you cum just by his slender fingers
jing yuan
✧ riding your boyfriend jing yuan
✧ fucking you in his bathroom while you're wearing his shirt. how adorable of you ♡
✧ best friend! jing yuan who fucks you right and how you deserved to be fucked. "feels good doesn't it? i know baby but you need to keep your voice down.. your mom is here.." it's quite hard to stay quiet while being pounded relentlessly, isn't it?
✧ a 5 star meal in his opinion, nothing beats your pussy.
aventurine
✧ slowly and painstakingly teasing you with his cock, oh, and you're wearing that new blindfold he bought for you!
✧ bouncing up and down on his dick, "like the whore you are"
✧ morning sex (is this based off the artwork recently posted by hoyo? yes)
✧ fingering you from behind
✧ "fuck..." aventurine loves hearing you moan
sunday
✧ "ride my face, please."
✧ passionate sex with sunday
✧ giving your boyfriend an awaited tit job ♡
✧ restricting your movement by binding you. "stop moving or i won't put it in." he says while also rubbing his hardness on your entrance.
✧ fucking you 'till you're braindead
gepard
✧ your puppy boyfriend who loves eating you out. best meal ever.
✧ breeding you just like you asked, one peak down at the messy sight gets him 10x more hard. good luck with a horny gepard
✧ milking your beloved with a vibrator
✧ teasing your poor husband with a video of your wet pussy while he's at work.
sampo
✧ your boyfriend still continuing to finger you through your orgasm. overstimulated would be an understatement.
✧ making out in your room
✧ fucking you aggressively after seeing his rival, gepard, flirt with you (?? gepard flirting??)
✧ your pleasure is his pleasure//masturbating while eating you out
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a/n: me after not writing anything for a couple of weeks (i think almost a month?) :) i haven't done this in SO long. no continue reading for this since it's short. (this is a shitpost)
taglist: @tomansimp @one-offmind @miitchiji @dainsleif-when-playable @momoewn @stygianoir @irethepotato @v4an @imetsk @fiannee @sunnyf4lls if im missing anyone please tell me because i have an inkling feeling i missed a few..
liking + following + reblogs are very much appreciated!!!
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breaktheicemp3 · 11 months
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I don’t like fashion aesthetics because I cannot stand looking at people in just a visual + stylistic sense for too long. for my own mental wellbeing. Also don’t think I could get into certain genres of music and/or subcultures because for whatever reason I get uncomfortable when the influences feel a little too catholic
#I mostly need to feel detached from what I look like to feel happy#I don’t vibe well with either makeup or having my hair or figure needing to look a certain way#and idk it feels like too much work to have to dig into some of the (and there will be no one can fight me on this) unsavory influences#visually or ideologically of certain aesthetics#and the thing about being catholic yeah I don’t know anything about goth anything but that’s why I’m kinda meh on it#also don’t like thinking of things in feminine and masculine terms or feeling like im too much of either#idk im kinda a boring vanilla whatever etc person in many areas of my life#which is fine I think being comfortable is positive for me.#the only thing remarkable about my appearance might just be the thickness of the lens of my glasses otherwise it’s just nondescript#clothes like plain lounge pants shirts#i tried being more fashionable or put together last fall but overtime I just wore more comfortable clothing#I can’t wear polyester so 90% of clothes anyway. also I hate it when you wear less fashionable clothes that it seems like you’re letting#yourself go. like maybe. maybe I’m just comfortable. I don’t see why ppl put so much stock into appearances#ofc I can’t completely say that because in the back of my mind I’ve Always thought about how my appearance affects people’s reactions to me#Idk I realize that sounds unremarkable. which is also how I feel. and idk what I’m good at or really what makes me happy. so. idk.#I realize that’s not smth you can base your personhood on what you’re good at. I wish I could at least find a passion of any sort#other than lying around or overthinking mindlessly#omg and I keep on thinking about how I have to fix all my bad habits and become an amazingly charming person out of necessity in time for#school. now i just hope I can become at peace with myself so I can do whatever I need to do#rymacore
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fairyhaos · 1 month
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❖ no such thing as too perfect // jeon wonwoo
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wonwoo x gn!reader, 2k+ words
tags: office au, established relationship, fluff, kinda crack, junhui is the best work bestieTM ever, yn is Dramatic and In Love
warnings: none
notes: this was only meant to be like, 1.2k.... idk what happened but im not apologising. also there are a couple of pov switches which i hope make sense!!
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“I think I need to break up with him,” you say, and Junhui blinks around a mouthful of salad. 
“Who?” he asks, spraying pieces of feta cheese all over the table, and you wrinkle your nose and brush away a few bits that get too close to you and your bento box. He frowns, and then his eyes widen. “Oh my god, you need to break up with Jeon Wonwoo? Why do you need to break up with Jeon Wonwoo?”
You wince as Junhui's loud exclamation rings throughout the office canteen, making several heads turn to look at the two of you. 
“Don't yell it so loud—and why are you saying his name in italics?”
“Because this is Jeon Wonwoo,” Junhui emphasises again, shoving salad passionately into his mouth before carrying on talking. “He's the only one of your boyfriends that I've actually ever approved of. Which is crazy, because Soonyoung introduced him to you, and I've never pinned Soonyoung as a guy that knows boyfriend-material guys.”
You reach over and lower Junhui’s fork, preventing him from eating and talking at the same time. “I don't know,” you sigh. “I just… I don't think this is going to work.”
“What did he do?” Junhui asks. His face morphs into a more serious look. “Do I need to murder him for you?”
“No, I— no! Don't murder him!” you say quickly, shaking your head. “He hasn't done anything wrong. It's just. I think I need to break up with him.”
The grave look melts from Junhui's face, and then he frowns. “You need to break up with him… even though he hasn't done anything wrong?”
“Yes.”
Junhui stares at you, mystified, then snatches back his fork to keep eating his salad. “Okay, so you've gone insane. Nice to know.”
You sigh at Junhui's response, rubbing your temples. 
Whilst it does sound insane for you to break up with Wonwoo even though he's done nothing wrong, in your eyes, it's actually quite understandable. 
Nothing has gone wrong, per se: you've been dating Wonwoo for about ten months now, and everything has been perfect. He's been perfect. 
Maybe… a little too perfect. 
He's always being so gentle and courteous, silently reading your emotions and knowing exactly how you're feeling at any given moment. He knows what you need before you even know that you need it—giving you little cheek kisses to remind you that you're loved, pushing a chocolate bar into your hand when you're all dizzy and tired, hugging you to sleep when you've had a bad day. 
The bento box that you're opening and having for lunch? That was prepared by him too. 
Jeon Wonwoo is just so goddamn perfect, and it worries you. 
“I don't think I'm good enough for him,” you admit whilst Junhui is busily sipping his water. 
It's fascinating how he manages to eat so frantically whilst eating so slowly at the same time, you think idly, as Junhui chokes on the tiny sip he was taking. He sets down the glass, wiping his mouth and blinking at you. 
“Sorry, what?”
“Come on, Junhui, do I really have to say it again?” you complain, beginning to open your bento box. “You heard me.”
“Yeah, and I couldn't believe my ears,” he says, tilting his head sideways. “You? Not good enough for him? Please. That's crazy.”
You make a questioning noise. “You just said that he's the only boyfriend of mine that you approved of.”
“Exactly.” Junhui stabbed his fork in your direction, before going back to shovelling leaves into his mouth. “You're perfect for him, and he's perfect for you. I predicted it from the moment you met.”
“I don't know about me being perfect for him, but he really is just too perfect for me,” you whine. “Him and his stupidly warm eyes and that smile… oh, Junhui, he makes me feel like the most beautiful person in this entire universe.” You look down at your bento box, pouting. “Wonwoo's just so perfect.”
Junhui makes a face. “Gross, but okay. I still don't see your point, though. Wonwoo's perfect, and you're both good enough for each other. I don't see why you think you need to break up with him.”
Still looking down at the bento box, you let out a sigh. All of the food is neatly packed away into the separate compartments, and he's even arranged the sesame seeds on your rice into a little heart. It's an awfully goofy but also an awfully Wonwoo thing to do, and you can feel your heart squeezing painfully in your chest, the longer you stare at it. 
This is not good. You are far too in love with Wonwoo. 
That's what you tell Junhui, and he stares at you with utter disbelief as if you've finally admitted that you really have lost your mind. 
“And what makes you think that he's not far too in love with you?” Junhui asks. “You know, one of the reasons that I approve of Wonwoo is because he's just so so in love with you. Like, almost disgustingly in love with you.”
“What?” You blink at him, before shaking your head. “Junhui, no, this is serious. Wonwoo's just so perfect and I'm so in love with him and—and it's actually getting dangerous now. I've literally fallen in love with him.”
Junhui stares at you for a long moment, wondering whether you're actually being serious about all of this. 
“That's not a bad thing,” he insists, and then chomps on his salad in frustration. “Y/N, that's not a bad thing at all.”
“Yes it is,” you say, despairingly, looking forlorn as you prop your chin on your hand. “I love him too much. It's gonna—it's gonna get too overwhelming, soon, and then he'll start thinking I'm weird, and he'll distance himself from me, and then we'll break up and I should end this before that happens.”
Junhui shakes his head. “I don't think that's true.”
“Yes it is.”
“No it isn't. He won't break up with you.”
“Not yet.”
Junhui looks away exasperatedly, because you're adamant in wallowing in your despair over having to break up with Wonwoo because “he's too perfect” even while quite happily eating the lunch that Junhui knows Wonwoo probably prepared for you. 
It's insane, he thinks, because it's obvious to him that Wonwoo loves you a lot. But he knows you and your negative thinking, and short of Wonwoo walking in here and professing his love to you all by himself, Junhui can't think of anything that could possibly convince you otherwise. 
As he looks past your shoulder to the glass doors of the office canteen, however, he blinks. 
There's a tall man entering the canteen, his dark hair all fluffy and his glasses-rimmed eyes scanning the area, lips pursed into a look that could almost be described as bored. He has his hands in his coat pockets, wearing the most simple casual fit ever, but he exudes such cold model energy that even Junhui blinks again. 
And then he watches as the man catches sight of you and Junhui, and his entire demeanour just softens. 
Junhui bites back a grin. 
Wow. Maybe he’s, like, actually psychic. 
“Wonwoo's here,” he says abruptly, and your head snaps up so fast that he can hear the audible click that sounds in your neck. 
“Where?” 
Junhui doesn't get to say anything, however, because he sees the moment that your eyes clock the tall man that's striding into the canteen, the light catching the frames of his glasses, and watches as you positively melt, in much the same way that the man had done when he saw you. 
He can almost hear every infatuated thought that runs through your mind. 
“Wonwoo,” you breathe, once Wonwoo steps close enough to the table that you and Junhui are eating at. His hair is all fluffy and windswept, and you resist the urge to smooth it down with your fingers. 
“Hello.” Wonwoo bends down, presses a soft kiss to your forehead. “You weren't answering your phone.”
“Hm? I didn't get any text notifs from you.” You check your phone, trying to turn it on, only for the screen to remain black. “Oh. Is it dead?”
“I suspected as much,” Wonwoo says dryly, but there's a fondness in his voice as he pulls out a power bank from his pocket. “Here.”
Your eyes light up. “Oh, you're a life saver!” You look up at Wonwoo, smiling at the way his eyes look so warm as he gazes down at you. “Thank you.”
Junhui slurps his water loudly. 
“Sorry,” he says, sounding not sorry at all when the two of you look over at him. “Don't mind me.”
He's grinning mischievously, for reasons that you cannot fathom, and when he leans forward to peer up at Wonwoo with curious eyes, the mischief in his grin only increases. 
“So, Wonwoo, why are you here?”
Wonwoo tilts his head, pushing his glasses up at the same time. “You're Junhui.”
“The one and only,” Junhui says brightly. “I'm Y/N's work bestie. I've heard loads about you.”
You hiss in annoyance, kicking Junhui under the table even as Wonwoo laughs amusedly, placing a hand on your shoulder affectionately. 
“Wen Junhui! Why would you say that?”
“Do you talk about me that often?” Wonwoo asks, and his tone is somewhere between genuinely curious and adoring and you kind of just wanna sit there and listen to his voice forever. 
“Oh, all the time,” Junhui says, eyes gleaming, and you snap your gaze back to him, exasperated. “Y/N loves you so much. I hear about the extent of it every day.”
Wonwoo looks down at you, raising an eyebrow. “Really?”
You kind of want to deny it, but then that would mean lying to Wonwoo, so you don't. 
“Maybe?” you say weakly, cheeks burning as you smile sheepishly up at him. “You're just, uh. Really really lovely. And, um, I kind of love you. A lot.”
Wonwoo laughs, a full and endeared laugh, twinkling with the light of a thousand suns. “I'm glad. Because you're really lovely, and I love you a lot too.”
Your eyes widen, and suddenly it's like it's just you and Wonwoo in the canteen now, him with his hand on your shoulder and those eyes, holding your very soul in place as he just smiles so lovingly and oh God you really do love him. 
“Oh,” you say, soft. “Wonwoo…”
Wonwoo just smiles again. “Anyways, I came by to let you know that I'll be finishing work a bit earlier today, so call me when you're done and I'll drive by to pick you up, okay?”
You nod, mute, stunned by the gentlest words of “I love you” that had left Wonwoo's mouth just seconds before. 
“It was nice meeting you,” Junhui chirps, but Wonwoo doesn't seem to hear, because he's looking down at you again, before swooping in and placing the lightest kiss on your nose and you feel like you could combust on the spot right there. 
“I'll see you later?” he says. 
You nod. “I'll see you later.”
Wonwoo smiles, and then the hand slides off your shoulder and he walks away. 
You watch him go, watch him walk through the tables and then get to the glass doors, where he turns around one last time to wave goodbye before disappearing outside, and really, it's insane how much you love him. 
And how much he loves you, it seems. 
“So. He took time out of his own lunch break and came all the way here to give you a charger because he knew that you'd forgotten one and to tell you that he's picking you up later?” Junhui says, making you reluctantly turn back to him. “Y/N. If this doesn’t make you see just how in love with you Wonwoo is, then I’m gonna kick you.”
“Hey, no need for violence,” you say, raising an eyebrow, and Junhui pulls a face. 
“So do you see it or do you not?”
You look over your shoulder again, out at the doors. Wonwoo’s no longer there, but you can still imagine the imprint of his warmth, lingering like the softest lavender scent over the entire area. 
“Maybe I do,” you say, all wistful and dazed, a smile on your face. “Isn’t he just so perfect?”
Junhui grins, and makes use of your distracted state to steal a carrot stick from your lunch, crunching on it loudly.
“Perfect and in love with you,” he points out. “So do you still feel like you need to break up with him?”
“Hm?”
You blink, eyes still all starry from your few minutes of interacting with your boyfriend, his soft smile etched into your mind. It takes a moment for Junhui's words to register, but then they do, and you can't help but laugh. 
“Oh. Oh, no. He and I are perfect.”
Junhui grins. He really is a psychic. 
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fics tags: @jeonginssa @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @zozojella @kawennote09 @thedensworld @a-wandering-stay @abibliolife @doublasting @wonranghaeee @icyminghao @sweet-like-caramel @your-yxnnie @odxrilove @kyeomyun @crackedpumpkin @jeonride @kellesvt @sakufilms @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @amxlia-stars @raevyng @isabellah29 @hrts4hanniehae @mcu-incorrect
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#not to be a bummer but i realized ive kinda just given up on ever being happy#like.#i push away everyone i care about who cares about me#im 24 and have never once made any sort of romantic connection#hell i havent even kissed someone#when i apply for jobs inmy desired career path i just get rejection after rejection after rejection#and its just all hitting really hard and i feel like im never gonna find my way out of it#i have dreams. big ones. and hopes of what i want to be but every day it just seems farther and farther away#like all these jobs im applying to are seeing something in me that I'm not and thats why im not getting hired#my mom told me about how when she was trying to be a teacher she kept getting turned down again and again and eventually she realized#it was because she hadn't accepted that she just really didn't like kids and was trying to convince herself that she did because she spent#so much time and money going back to school to get her teaching degree#and im fucking *terrified* that these people see something in me that i dont and its that im not talented or that i don't actually have#the passion for theatre and film that i thought i did and it scares me shitless#its all ive wanted to do. i genuinely don't think im capable of doing anything else#i just want a chance. to prove to mysekf that i have talent to actually make a name for myself to actually feel like maybe someday#what i want will actually be attainable#but right now i just feel so lost and i hate it i fucking hate it
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