#maybe its time to reread the novel its been ages

[barawrah]

beloved

#THEMMMMMMM #finally drawing them & colouring it #i always end up with fafa alone somehow #this actually started as xl alone for once and then fafa magically found his way into it idk how #but !!!!! them 🥺 #my wife and . guy i squish and he kills me #multiple times a day we do that #i adore these two with every fibre of my being i really need to draw them more #maybe its time to reread the novel its been ages #art tag #tgcf #xie lian #hua cheng #hualian #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #mxtx #mxtx novels #tgcf fanart #tgcf xie lian #tgcf hua cheng #mxtx tgcf #tgcf donghua #tgcf novel #hualian fanart #crimson rain sought flower #天官赐福 #天官赐福动画

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Eye of the World: Prologue

I haven't reread the whole of the series ever (my last reread was in preparation for the finale), so with the books getting more popular and the show simultaneously entertaining me and getting my goat I figured I'd jump onto the bandwagon and maybe get some validation from internet strangers. As the title states, this is a reread, so I will be spoilering the hell out of everything, so if you're a show only fan or still working your way through the books, please run away screaming (but tell your friends!).

...

Okay now that I can no longer hear any screams, let's get into things. I first started reading The Wheel of Time in 2003 in middle school, catching up in time to read New Spring when it debuted and the subsequent novels after (except oddly, Towers of Midnight, which I didn't get around to until the finale was right around the corner, so I guess my longest reread only goes up to book 12 technically). It's probably my outright favorite fantasy world and has a lot of characters I love - in fact, at times I feel I don't quite fit into the fandom because I don't have an irrational disdain of any of the common hate sinks bar maybe Gawyn, and even then some people are making me like him a little bit more so I don't know what I'm going to do then.

That said, like most readers who came of age in the 21st century, I do have a lot of problems with Jordan's worldview. It's a rather interesting friction: the man was definitely trying to write a world without the sexism of our modern era (and to a lesser extent other prejudices as well), and yet he could never rise above them himself. I'll probably spend a lot of time talking about this kind of stuff and what might have been done instead.

Likewise, when we reach the inevitable Slog (and sorry people who didn't start reading until the series was finished, it's real), I'll be talking a lot about how the plot might be adjusted for brevity and, once we reach the Sanderson era virtually everything I want to talk about will be magnified tenfold because as much as I enjoyed his efforts at the time, I've greatly soured on him as an author in general and as Jordan's heir in specific since.

But for now, let's focus on what's important: The Eye of the World's first prologue: Dragonmount.

The palace still shook occasionally as the earth rumbled in memory, groaned as if it would deny what had happened.

As first sentences go, I'm not in love. It's not bad, but it's just a little too vague; "the palace" doesn't really give my mind's eye much to work with because they can vary so much depending on when and where they were built. It ends well though.

The dead lay everywhere, men and women and children, struck down in attempted flight by the lightnings that had flashed down every corridor, or seized by the fires that had stalked them, or sunken into stone of the palace, the stones that had flowed and sought, almost alive, before stillness came again.

Despite its length, a sentence like this would work better to me as the start. It's shocking and terrifying; this is a level of violence we won't see channelers pull off until much later in the series.

The mind-twisting had struck at the core, ignoring peripheral things.

This feels pretty on-theme for the story, really. The Shadow tries to subvert the major powers of the world but its defeat is primarily orchestrated by a bunch of farmers.

The edge of his pale gray cloak trailed through blood as he stepped across the body of a woman, her golden-haired beauty marred by the horror of her last moments, her still-open eyes frozen in disbelief.

Well I made it four quotations before we needed to talk about feminism so that's... more than I expected, really. Meet Ilyena, a character so posthumous that despite being part of a prologue 3,500 years before the main story she's still already dead by the time it starts! Obsessing over dead women is probably one of the biggest complaints this series gets and boy does it deserve it. Despite electricity being long gone, our characters have no shortage of fridges.

That said, I do want to note that as it stands in this book, things aren't that bad. In this book. See, in this book, Ilyena isn't the only victim - the children she and Lews had are also among the dead, as are quite a lot of other people who just happened to live or work in the palace or were visiting. Except for the use of LTT's title "Kinslayer", none of them will be mentioned again after this book - in fact, the non-family members are completely forgotten after the prologue. But again, that's jumping ahead. In this book, Ilyena is about providing a specific name and face to the tragedy, humanizing all of the victims by proxy in a way that, "Twelve hours after saving the world, Lews Therin went insane and killed two hundred and sixty-five people including all of his blood relatives," does not.

...brought by merchants from across the World Sea...

We talk a lot about how Jordan was too immersed in southern culture to understand how its gender roles were about as universal as Mongolian throat singing, but not enough about how he's too immersed in globalized petro-fascist markets based on maximizing inefficiencies for the global elite to use to extract wealth to understand why a real planetary utopia living in harmony with nature wouldn't be shipping luxury goods across the ocean when there's perfectly fancy fabrics to make at home and anyway the Green Men should be able to help silkworms thrive anywhere if you're that desperate for something breathable.

On the other hand, points to him for not going crazy about Gateways and assuming that all global trade could be handled by teleportation just because they're a fun tool. I will have a lot to say about Gateways as we approach the authorial transition.

For a moment he fingered the symbol on his cloak, a circle half white and half black, the colors separated by a sinuous line. It meant something, that symbol.

Even now though, it means something other than what it once meant (being the sign of the seals on the Dark One's prison) and before too much longer it will pick up two more meanings, one for each half. The Wheel turns and the world changes.

Behind him the air rippled, shimmered, solidified into a man who looked around, his mouth twisting briefly with distaste.

Props to Ishamael for clearly Traveling with the True Power even this early on in the series.

Not so tall as Lews Therin, he was clothed all in black, save for the snow-white lace at his throat and the silverwork on the turned-down tops of his thigh-high boots.

Thigh-high boots! <3 (Seriously Ishy how can you want to destroy the world you can express your fashion sense in?)

Also note how this contrasts the Aes Sedai symbol described earlier. There's a little bit of white though, because it can't be helped even by the Shadow.

It will soon be time for the Singing, and here all are welcome to take part.

One detail from the Sanderson novels whose origin I'm uncertain of but like regardless of who came up with it is Rand's claim that the AoL was NOT paradise and that it was rotting from within even before the Dark One got involved. The latter half of this sentence suggests one such flaw: having the Voice is a hell of a talent, but apparently there were places that did not welcome all potential Singers. This could just be a result of the War, but maybe it speaks to something deeper.

“Shai’tan take you, does the taint already have you so far in its grip?”

Ish here is mostly pissed that he doesn't get to enjoy his gloating, because for all his talk about nihilism, he is petty first and foremost.

Dangerous for you, fool, not for me.

Ironically, all things considered it's really the other way around - Shai'tan is no threat at all to the Dragon soul and will utterly ruin Ish by the end. Ish really isn't anywhere near as clever as he makes himself out to be, he just looks smart because he's the last survivor of Academia.

“So you do remember some things. Yes, Betrayer of Hope. So have men named me, just as they named you Dragon, but unlike you I embrace the name.

This is an odd detail, all things considered. LTT's fatal flaw was pride (this very prologue says as much), so why wouldn't he be proud of a flattering name? I wonder if we get any more details on this in the books or if it's just a little detail that was lost in the shuffle.

But it is not enough. You humbled me in the Hall of Servants. You defeated me at the Gates of Paaran Disen. But I am the greater, now. I will not let you die without knowing that. When you die, your last thought will be the full knowledge of your defeat, of how complete and utter it is. If I let you die at all

See what I mean about Ish? This is not the behavior of someone who is tired of existence and wants everything to end, it's the behavior of a dude with a petty grudge that he dresses up in fancy terms and fancier boots.

[Ilyena] will give me the rough side of her tongue if she thinks I have been hiding a guest from her. I hope you enjoy conversation, for she surely does. Be forewarned. Ilyena will ask you so many questions you may end up telling her everything you know.

Quick, name a female WoT character that Jordan doesn't think this description applies to! Can it be done? I doubt it. Another common criticism is that for all of his 3,000 characters, all of the women were just his wife. I don't think it's quite true, but I do think that the women he knew well were all cut from pretty much the same cloth.

“A pity for you,” he mused, “that one of your Sisters is not here.

This is another oddity. AoL healing required all five kinds of weaves and they didn't divide things up by gender anyway, so why wouldn't a Brother suffice? There's plenty of male Aes Sedai who haven't gone crazy at this point, and it's been only a couple days at most so you wouldn't think people would have time to reflexively assume men wouldn't be helpful. Is this another kind of healing that works better when you do it cross-gender? Maybe Towers of Midnight mentioned that?

Helplessly he convulsed, thrashing, his skull a sphere of purest agony on the point of bursting.

Good to know that every incarnation of the Dragon suffers horribly for no good reason, I guess. Rand's nihilism is a lot more understandable to me than Ish's is, considering how little suffering the latter actually endures.

“You can have her back, Kinslayer. The Great Lord of the Dark can make her live again, if you will serve him. If you will serve me.”

"Your kids are fucked though. We put their souls in vacuoles and then jettisoned them towards Sindhol, so we can't fix that even if we wanted to. Also you balefired half of them repeatedly, we think. Hard to be sure because there's no record of them left except some silhouettes on that doorway over there."

(More seriously, they're being left out right now because LTT isn't cognizant of their demise, making this the only excusable omission.)

“Ten years your foul master has wracked the world. And now this. I will. . . .”

Plus a whole century of societal collapse, but I guess RJ hadn't come up with that detail yet. Hell at this point maybe Shai'tan was still supposed to be ET's son.

You and I have fought a thousand battles with the turning of the Wheel, a thousand times a thousand, and we will fight until time dies and the Shadow is triumphant!

Ish says this and the fandom as a whole treats it as true but... we don't actually know this! Third Agers often state that they HOPE to be reborn, which suggests that's it's possible the Wheel stops reincarnating some souls (replacing them, presumably) - and who better to retire than the people who stop being grateful for existence and start actively trying to undermine you?

Further, Rand's epiphany is about how despite the crushing cycle of everything, anyone can still hope to live a better life - there's no guarantee that Ishamael falls to the shadow every time, or that he ever has before or will again! Hell, he could just repent even after he falls. Bro has choices, he just refuses to see them.

His own sons and daughters, sprawled like broken dolls, play stilled forever.

This is actually another odd detail. I don't know how Aes Sedai fertility works, but while it's not implausible that LTT & IS could have children who were of the age where their play is the most notable thing about them, they should also have kids old enough to have grandkids by now! Lews' murders could potentially number in the hundreds without starting on the servants and faithful companions.

Also note that while Ilyena's demise horrified LTT and left him with nothing to live for according to the narration, it isn't until he sees that he's killed all of these people he loved that he actually tries to commit suicide. This is the sort of thing that's completely neglected going forward, but it is nice that things were a little more complex than him finding his girlfriend in the fridge and his mom in the oven.

The land around him was flat and empty. A river flowed nearby, straight and broad, but he could sense there were no people within a hundred leagues.

This is a pretty subtle sign of just how much death the last ten years must have entailed: the Erinin is flowing through a temperate part of the planet (there being no indication that the Earth's axis was significantly affected by the Breaking) yet there are no cities nor farms within a hundred leagues. By all rights there should be, but now they're gone. One can see why balefire was banned.

He did not believe it could come, forgiveness. Not for what he had done.

Maybe it's just my own weird moral code speaking but I think stuff one does while literally and entirely involuntarily corrupted by the source of all evil shouldn't really count against them. Obviously he's in shock, but it seems like something that carries on into Rand's behavior as well and it's a little depressing that in a series about free will vs. determinism there's such a common attitude that the stuff you're doomed to do regardless counts against you more than the things you had a choice in.

Because in his pride he had believed that men could match the Creator, could mend what the Creator had made and they had broken. In his pride he had believed.

And he wasn't wrong to believe that, he just did it wrong and doesn't consider that there might be other approaches. Tunnel vision is a real affliction in this series.

Only a heartbeat did the shining bar exist, connecting ground and sky, but even after it vanished the earth yet heaved like the sea in a storm. Molten rock fountained five hundred feet into the air, and the groaning ground rose, thrusting the burning spray ever upward, ever higher.

No denial on the earth's part here, just straight up compliance.

Of Lewis Therin Telamon, no sign remained. Where he had stood a mountain now rose miles into the sky, molten lava still gushing from its broken peak.

Now imagine a million more dudes doing this and you start to see why the Breaking was as destructive as it was.

Then [Ishamael] was gone, and the mountain and the island stood alone. Waiting.

Presumably Ishamael went off and told someone about LTT's suicide before being vacuum sealed for a millennium and change, cuz otherwise there's no way people would know what Dragonmount was.

The oceans fled, and the mountains were swallowed up, and the nations were scattered to the eight corners of the World.

The west, the Waste, Shara, the sea, the Mad Lands, north Seanchan, southwest Seanchan, and southeast Seanchan. There, we've turned what was obviously an odd turn of phrase into a literal statement with all eight items acccounted for!

Let the Prince of the Morning sing to the land that green things will grow and the valleys give forth lambs. Let the arm of the Lord of the Dawn shelter us from the Dark, and the great sword of justice defend us. Let the Dragon ride again on the winds of time.

Well Rand did most of those things, but I don't remember any lambs, so I guess really he lost the war and the whole of the epilogue was a taunting dream the Dark One wove for him to distract him.

(God I hate those kinds of theories. If your assumption is that nothing is true, your theory is dumb and you should feel bad.)

From Charal Drianaan te Calamon,The Cycle of the Dragon.

So a lot of people talk about the conlanging in this setting and I just want to point one thing out: the fact that we go from the Old Tongue in the AoL to this New Tongue in the Fourth Age suggests very, very strongly that Randlanders are not inexplicably speaking English or anything close to it but something in between the two fake Tongues. We have a clear transition from things like "Telamon" and "siswai'aman" to "Calamon" for example, that dragon doesn't really fit into except as a distant ancestor/descendant.

Anyway, that right there is the prologue! I would compare and contrast it to Amazon's adaptation, but I cannot because they have not adapted this sequence yet. It's something of a shame, because I think the prologue is very important for making it clear that we're not actually doing a Tolkien-esque story like the early chapters suggest, but after seeing Winter Dragon I can also sympathize with not wanting to lead with this. That said, I am deeply depressed we couldn't keep Billy Zane and hope against hope that Rafe will find a role for him to be crazy in.

The TV show does do a sequence set in the AoL, but it's closer to being an adaptation of part of The Strike at Shayol Ghul than anything else, so I will hold off until we get there after A Crown of Swords.

#let's read #wheel of time #wheel of time spoilers #wot spoilers #the eye of the world #lews therin telamon #ishamael

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

In your opinion, please rate thg movie series with 1-5 scale.

(1 = I hate it, 3=neutral, 5 = I love it.)

1.The Hunger Games :

Things that you like :

Things that you don't like :

2.Cathing Fire :

Things that you like :

Things that you don't like :

3.Mockingjay

Movie 1 :

Movie 2 :

Things that you like :

Things that you don't like :

Thank you 😊

@curiousnonny

So let me preface my ratings here by saying that I really think these books are already so well edited in terms of necessary content that making a movie version of any of them is a mistake. Maybe I'm biased and greedy, but I honestly feel like 99% of the scenes in the books play a crucial role in either plot, character, or theme development and removing them waters down the story too much, in my opinion. I would much rather have seen a series version on screen than a movie. Not to mention, Collins made her name as a writer in television, and you can SEE IT in how she writes her novels. It's structured like a TV series so it should've been shot like a TV series. Anyways. So my rankings are gonna be... kinda low for the movies. Sorry not sorry.

But also... my thoughts on this are fresh. My youngest was supposed to read The Hunger Games with his 6th grade class. The teacher sent home a form requesting parents' permission to do so. I signed it gladly and sent it back, but apparently there were a lot of parents who sent it back with complaints instead of approval. Enough that the class read the first Percy Jackson book instead. I'm fine with that too, lol, especially since my kiddo really liked it and is now on book five of that series. I've been trying to reread along with him and will hopefully be catching up to him this week, lol.

After his teacher switched books for the class reading, he and I decided we'd read THG books together once he's done with PJO, but then, my oldest skipped a field trip he really didn't wanna go on and wound up staying at school and watching... The Hunger Games and part of Catching Fire. He came home with QUESTIONS, which immediately sparked a "Hey, not fair!" from the youngest and prompted a movie marathon. We made it through all four movies back in March, and I'm still not forgiven for not warning him about Finnick btw...

Okay enough story time. *cracks knuckles*

The Hunger Games

Ranking: 2/5

Things I don't like: Ugh where to start? The removal of Madge and therefore the significance of Katniss's mockingjay pin as a symbol of wealth and power bestowed by the Capitol only to be flipped on its head and turned into a symbol of rebellion. Also, the implications of removing Madge in terms of how they tried to make Katniss into STRONG BADASS WO-MAN while dulling some of her softer edges and dependencies on other people. See also: leaving out the gift of bread from D11 to Katniss.

The dialogue is shit. Sorry, those are my thoughts. You already had really good dialogue in the book why change that? Also, the gutting of the dialogue results in the gutting of both Katniss and Peeta as characters. The first movie turns them into The Watson character, i.e. the character whose purpose it is to ask questions so that the audience can learn about the setting/plot/other characters/whatever. The first movie made Katniss and Peeta look naive and dumb about the Games and the very world they inhabit, which makes no sense for their characters. I get it. It's a storytelling technique to quicken up the process of world building and make up for the fact that we don't get to be in Katniss's head where she tells us what we need to know about her world. BUT their characters suffer for it. Katniss and Peeta are sixteen. Anyone who has interacted with a teenager knows that at that age, we usually have #OPINIONS on things, so in the books, both already have developing opinions about the Games because they are by necessity and by exposure aware of how the Games and the government essentially work. They've lived in this world long enough. They've started to develop opinions and world views, and they act accordingly. The first movie loses this completely from the books.

Do not get me started on the dialogue in the cave scenes we will be here until the next century if we go there.

Buttercup. Christ how hard is it to cast a yellow/orange cat?!?!?! Not that difficult. And granted, this is a minor detail in terms of symbols but at the same time... it's a minor detail. The fact that they didn't even bother showed a lack of caring about the details. Also see: Rock Peeta.

The stakes of almost everything are lowered, from the bread scene (we don't realize until MJ2 that she's literally starving and knocking on death's door in that scene) to the berry scene (and here it's Peeta knocking on death's door and Katniss is desperate to save him, enough to put POISON BERRIES IN HER MOUTH and risk her own life too)... the movie lacks the desperation for both of those crucial parts.

Peeta's leg Peeta's leg Peeta's motherfreaking amputated leg!!!!!!

Things I liked: The sound and sound editing. It's such a small thing, and I have a story to go with this okay? When I saw it in theaters, I disliked a lot of things, but one of them was something I could not put my fingers on. It bugged me for weeks until the movie came out on DVD (yes, I'm old and also saw it at the veeeeeeery end of its theater run where I live... like it was a $5 special...). Anyways. Mr. Kdnfb is an electrical engineer by education and is suuuuuper picky about our sound system in our house. So when I watched it at home, the Thing clicked in my brain. The SOUND. It had been Waaaaaay Off in a way that was awful in that theater for some reason. And once I watched it at home, there was just something about the way they did the sound that made a lot of what I had hated become less of A Thing to me. The more I've watched it, the more I've realized the sound and sound editing was excellent, and I put this as things I liked because my story goes to show how such a tiny thing can really screw up a movie.

Catching Fire

Ranking: 3.5/5 (Omg I'm gonna get barbecued for this one.)

Things I didn't like: See my caveat at the top. Okay, so. One of my biggest problems is just how much got cut to adapt this one to screen. Sooooo many scenes. Finnick "hanging" himself in training, "someone else can get the stupid goat knocked up," all the hullabaloo about the wedding is talked about but that doesn't happen in the movies, the setup for the existence of D13, the plant book and Peeta caring for an injured Katniss, training like Careers, scaring Peeta with the medicine, Katniss really starting to come around to the idea of a rebellion even before the Quell announcement, "Poor Finnick. Is this the first time you haven't been pretty?" Just so much cut for the sake of time and results in the story feeling rushed and sloppy ugh.

While the cast and crew for this one did a much better job adapting the dialogue to the screen, there are still a few crucial bits of dialogue that make me itch with hives. The post jabberjay scene and the death of the morphling mainly. Good lord. You finally let movie!Peeta be as eloquent and convincing as book!Peeta in D11, why not give him the space to do it in the arena, too?

Things I do like: The casting. Hear me out. After the first movie, I was still not entirely sold on Jennifer, Josh, and Liam for the roles they were playing. Really, the only main characters who live through the first movie that I was happy and 100% on board with with were Donald Sutherland, Elizabeth Banks, Woody Harrelson, and Stanley Tucci. Catching Fire is where I accepted Josh's portrayal of Peeta a little bit more, mainly because of the process of film making and what they put forth with CF showed me that he could nail the part if only they'd give him the dialogue and choose the cuts that best showed what he could do. I have no idea what sort of dialogue they were given or how much free reign they were allowed to improvise, but I do know that they will shoot a scene multiple times with multiple different delivery styles and slightly different dialogue. Which means that the actors really don't get a say on which version of their performance makes the final cut. But when the dialogue was spot on in the final version, I felt like Josh pulled off Peeta very well. I also think the way they shot CF allowed Jennifer Lawrence to put forth a better overall performance as well, although I'm still not in love with her as Katniss.

But really it's the Quell Victors/Tributes that I loved about CF. I went in unsure and came out convinced. My caveat here is that I tend to think of the movies as their own thing. The movie versions of the characters are their own iteration and I try really hard not to let them bleed into how I see or think of the characters in the books. That doesn't always happen, but I do try.

Okay this one is kinda not the fault of the first movie, but the increased budget for CF is apparent in several of the things that I liked, namely the costumes, the staging, the special effects. Much better all around.

Mockingjay Part 1

Ranking: 3/5

Things I did not like: Gale. MJ1 finishes off the complete removal of any depth Gale had as a character, a process that started with him rage rushing Head Peacekeeper Thread in CF and culminates here with him condemning Peete's words as a TORTURED PRISONER OF WAR rather than him not only intuiting what's probably happening, but explaining it to Katniss, then trying to protect Katniss from it, like he does in the books. The reason why book!Gale is so much more compelling to me than movie!Gale is because Gale's anger and fire and indignation has REASONING behind it in the book. It is chillingly easy to see the lines his reasoning could possibly take. As in... I've worked in weapons development and I have worked with real people who think like book!Gale or Beetee. Whereas movie!Gale is basically just RAWR!!! fury.

The rescue scene. I could write an entire essay on what's wrong with this, but it all boils down to they tried to shorten it by overlapping the video of the rescue with Finnick talking. Which makes zero military sense btw why the freak would you broadcast helmet video of your team going in on a stealth mission and risk someone intercepting it or noting the presence of an encrypted signal and figuring out what was going on holy hell you would NOT. You'd be freaking SILENT and just waiting to find out!!!!!!! And yes yes, but we need to see it. Okay, but you've already shown scenes with Snow and Seneca talking, Seneca and Haymitch talking, Snow and Plutarch talking, Snow and his granddaughter!!!! cuts from D11 and so much more that Katniss would not have seen, so play this like that. You can still show the audience but clearly keep Katniss and everyone back in D13 in the dark. The way it's shot is nonsensical and also pretty much waters down the horror of what Finnick went through and the impact of his words.

And while we're on this topic, they somehow used that overlapping and ridiculous video feed to try and shorten the scene, but wound up making it interminably and unbelievably long with the layers upon layers upon LAYERS of rooms the rescue squad has to go through and also the Skype Call of Inanity. The whole debacle is so freaking long that I no longer feel tense by the time it's finally over. It's so obvious that the Capitol is letting them take back Peeta, Annie, and Johanna because of how long a stealth mission (which should be almost too fast to process) takes that it becomes stupid for D13 to not suspect something. There's no desperation or high stakes for me with this scene because it's too long and too messy, makes no sense tactically and basically just erases all the emotional depth and pacing of what's in the books ugh. Seriously. You could've spent that time on the torture of the prep team or some of the Boggs and Katniss or Katniss and Finnick content we miss out on. Delly. Gale's siblings. Literally anything that you cut out. Rant over.

"He's gonna kill Peeta".... um no actually it's that Snow won't kill Peeta but keep dangling him in front of you, Katniss...

Things I did like: The sets. District 13 is... perfect. Sterile and drab and utilitarian. Zero luxury or any real sense that humans live there. There are zero personal touches in any of the spaces. No connections to art or joy or life.

Effie. I really wish we'd still gotten the prep team in D13, because it's an avenue through which we see how brutal and lacking in compassion D13 really is, but if it's Effie there with her for the movies, then Elizabeth Banks did a stellar job with what she was given to do. I do wish they'd allowed Finnick to keep his line: "They'll either want to kiss you, kill you, or be you." And if not that, then don't freaking cut the "Why, do you find this distracting?" scene. But overall, Effie in D13 works for me in terms of the movie universe.

Mockingjay Part 2

Ranking: 2.5/5

Things I didn't like: Facepalm worthy wigs and dye jobs. Dude. You are the final chapter of a big budget blockbuster franchise. I understand that the dye jobs have taken their toll and wigs may be just more practical for the actors at this stage, but DO BETTER with the money you have.

Just how much of Johanna they cut out of this part and what that does to Katniss's development.

The ending. It's so lackluster in so many ways. One of the things that I loved about the theme of the ending is how it shows that with the right kind of care, a life can be lived and be worthwhile even after the worst kinds of trauma. We get this through the sheer beauty of Katniss's final words in both the final chapter and the epilogue. To me, the movie ending felt just... blah. And I get that maybe they were aiming for a sense of calm and peace, but instead it came off as blah, we're broken and just going through the motions. Which makes sense right after the war ends, but not as the ending continues into the "Real" scene or the epilogue.

Mahershala Ali is highly underutilized in this movie. Let the man play the freaking part. He's already good with what you let him do. Let him unleash the acting chops and make Boggs sing as a character. And part of this has to do with what they cut from the film, like him carrying Katniss to the hovercraft in D8 and her vomiting on him. Same with Julianne Moore. Coin was not nearly cold or controlling enough nor did she convincingly clash with Katniss enough leading up to Peeta showing up in the Capitol.

The omission of the heartbreaking silence Katniss puts herself into and how they turned the sadness of the final breaking of her friendship with Gale into "Goodbye Gale." Ugh. I laugh at it, but it's not a good change. Like we can't allow a Strong Wo-Man Character to be sad or hurt about this, why not????

Burn. Scars. Burn. Scars. Burn. Scars. BURN! SCAAAAARRRRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!

Things I did like: The music. Odd pick I know, but even though the ending is not well done for me, I almost always start bawling the second Katniss starts singing the meadow lullaby as the credits roll. And that's just one weird instance of me liking the music for this film.

How they brought the hijacking to life. I can't even explain why this works so well, but it does. My only wish is that they'd given more time for the Real/Not Real game to develop on film and included more of Peeta's dialogue that shows both the struggle and him regaining parts of himself -- the cafeteria scene, his words to Pollux and Tigris for example.

And there you have it, @curiousnonny. My super long answer to your question. ;)

#thg thoughts #curiousnonny #anonymous #look at that ask

[wonderinc-sonic]

Tagged by @generic-sonic-fan to do a wip folder dive! But I got distracted from the task oops.

I keep all my stuff unsorted in notes on my phone, because I found that taking away the barrier to writing (e.g. my heavy computer) helped me to just do bits and bobs, here and there. Most of my fics have been written on the train to work!

But this. This is a name and shame. This is a graveyard. I usually do give things a name, so most of these would be the final title... alas. Still, writing this out has been therapeutic for me, and inspired me to maybe put on my big boy pants and delete some of these.

(Key: likely to be published in some form, may be published with reworking, very unlikely/ dead, n/a)

Sonic fics:

Team Dark folder:

Self care - a self care day for team dark (shocker!), likely going to be added to another story atp, because its not got enough of a conclusion on its own.

The Maria Celeste chapter 2 - written, but I hate it and I don't think people would like the direction this fic might take.

Road Trip chapter 2 - may be finished and published soon, n.b. it's gotten very trans.

Rarepair week - I was planning to play, but work is crazy around then, then I'm away from home, so probably will miss it.

Bat-bombed - rouge × lanolin. so close to being done, then I was like 'who gives a shit this is so long' and now I'm not so sure as I was that it's any good. Needs a bit of a shake.

(Wood)worm into my heart - belle × amy. This is cringe-cute, I'll sort it out someday.

KnucklesSilver one? - well its... yeah knuckles × Silver, looking at stars and eating bugsm. I'm worried I shouldn't be shipping Silver anymore because he reads so young to me in IDW I feel weird about the fact that I've written a lot of it already with all my espio × silver.

Refuge Company BEANBAGS BOOKS BLINK - shadow × blaze; in bits, going to be in bits if I ever publish it. Beanbags books blink refers to the imagined scene in my head that made me first ever ship these two when I was a child. I'm trying to capture it in a way that doesn't make me feel completely stupid!

Misc

Petal Soft Cont. - Outlined continuation of the Cyber Virus AU that isn't getting done. I wanted to explore Metal and Amy's relationship, how they feel differently about eachother, but I think this situation where Metal is quite madly in love with Amy who sees herself as a caregiver and would not want to romanticise Metal... is maybe a misstep. Not sure who wants to read that. Instead, I may continue the AU by visiting a few other characters effected and park these two.

Second-Place King cont. (And chapters 4 and 5) - this is ditched. I reread my own story and thought 'this reads like two characters who will have ill-advised sex then regret it', and now I don't wanna write it. They are adults in this, but I don't want to write sex scenes, and I'm not sure Fade to Blacks really work in fanfic - people either seem to want sex, or they don't want any of it, and it'd be neither so it's probably never coming back.

Heroism - atp this is the whole mapped out story of a 5 strand game. I've plotted it completely, and written a few scenes, but I really want to write it in script format, and it just won't get read like that, so likely not worth sharing. If I couls make it a graphic novel, maybe?

Robot Therapy: Orbot, Metal Sonic, Omega (court mandated), Metal Sonic Comes Back - these are all roughly pencilled out with their hooks/punches, but not really sure its interesting to anyone but me.

And, for an about me:

Not Sonic:

This Tornado Loves You - the real shame point, because this is a 90% completed and uploaded persona 4 fanfic that I just... dropped. I abandoned it because it was about a toxic coming of age romance which was interesting self-reflection for me at the time, but I'm now not sure if it was really okay to write that. And because of that;

Turning Yellow - the wider story of the above, abandoned for reasons of containing dark ideas. I am in two minds - on one hand, Persona 4 itself contains minors grappling with sexualising themselves and being sexualised, people killing eachother, going into the mind of a killer etc. But on the other hand, I got scared off from writing the protagonists as potentially vengeful and doing cruel and violent things. So the lesbian-murderer revenge fantasy will not be taking place.

Contests (Contesting Friendships when I published one) - Persona 4 folder of silly games they might play, got cancelled because of the above, even though it's not in that AU - I lost my nerve for all of persona while I was thinking that through.

Book Club - fire emblem three houses, basically retelling of white clouds but only taking place in a fictional bookclub that meets once a month. I'm scared that it's a huge cast and every character has to be exactly as written, and if I'm inaccurate it'll wreck the whole thing, so I keep restarting.

I do - fire emblem three houses. Wedding traditions. I wrote a whole powerpoint of different regional wedding tradition headcanons, and sometimes write stories to go with them. Likely never to be published, but I may put up the Hapi × Constance one someday.

Originals:

Somnos - Script, enormous. Coming of age, kids-save-the-world etc. Heavily influenced by how much persona had my whole heart as a teen. Its only about 50 pages of stuff I like right now, and it will be really long, because it would be a series of maybe hour long episodes (40 pages in script is about 40 minutes of screen time)

Kinship - a cartoon script thats got 1 season half written and the other half planned out and 2 more roughly sketched but not individual episodes nailed down. Also my dissertation from uni back when, always in my heart. Max, a little robot and literally self-made man, goes on a world adventure to try to find people like him. It's just a cute playground for me.

This isnt even including the ideas that don't have their own page/ folder yet 🥴 I swore I'd never be this sort of writer!

Might tag some ppl later in dms, but I gotta get to work now!

#not sonic #writincs #wonderincs #the absolute shame in this lol #its fun tho healthy to look at #also my file storage needs to improve!

[hamliet]

Hey I’m the svirdgailov anon from a while ago, about halfway through demons, just read stavrogins confession and man this story is just incredible, you were right about thinking I’d like stavrogin. You’ve had plenty of responses about kirillov and pyotr, not sure if you’ve talked about the at tikhons chapter, maybe I should wait till I finish the story before sending this ask but I’d like to know ur opinion on the chapter itself. To me it’s the best chapter I’ve read from Dostoevsky besides the c&p epilogue so just wondering . Ty in advance

Also off topic question but have u read the eternal husband? I found that story really interesting too and I see quite literally no one talk about it, the double gets talked about more somehow, I think it’s so underrated .

Hiiii!!!! I'm so glad to read this, because Stavrogin is definitely inspired from a lot of the ideas Dostoyevsky used to explore Svidrigailov.

I have read The Eternal Husband, but it was probably ten years ago. I must reread it. I do remember really liking it.

I do think "At Tikhon's" is masterful, but since you're not finished yet I'll talk about the chapter outside of the novel and its context... when you finish the novel, do come back and ask again!

I'm not sure if you were aware of this, but the chapter was actually censored originally and not allowed to be published. See, back in the day, novels were serialized like manga chapters today in that they were published in regularly-scheduled magazines chapter by chapter. "At Tikhon's" was not allowed to be published because of the disturbing nature of its content, and so has been added to Demons as an appendix, or in some modern versions, slotted in where it was intended to be included in the novel.

I think the chapter is vital to understanding the story and to Stavrogin's character, and one that asks moral questions of not just Stavrogin and everyone who seems to care about him, but also of us as readers. It's a truly disturbing and unsettling chapter. It's triggering as hell and hard to read, but ultimately the novel is more powerful for its inclusion--it's not at all gratuitous, but it should upset readers.

However, because of its rejection, Dostoyevsky had to resort to other ways to show Stavrogin's characterization. This has led to some critics thinking the chapter is ultimately irrelevant to Stavrogin's character, but I think this is a take fast fading with time. Most modern critics regard it as essential, and I would also consider it necessary to understand his character.

Again, to go back to the "outside the novel" idea, this chapter, along with Svidrigailov's character, that of Fyodor Karamazov in The Brothers Karamazov, and Totsky in The Idiot, all have an extremely similar sin in common: basically, rotten men who sexually abuse young women, and how society responds to these crimes--or doesn't. All but Fyodor's were preteens/young teens, and Fyodor's victim was seriously mentally disabled. The reason Dostoyevsky includes this in a lot of his works is because one of his formative childhood memories is of a girl about his age arriving for help from Dostoyevsky's father, who was a doctor. The girl had been assaulted, and it clearly traumatized Dostoyesvky. There's a reason his works always touch on the question Ivan Karamazov poses right before delving into The Grand Inquisitor: "but what of the children?"

#ask hamliet #demons #fyodor dostoevsky #nikolai stavrogin #tw

[ereborne]

Book asks: 3, 4, 11 please :D

3: What's something you read recently and wanted to argue with (either with the book or the author or the fans)?

I won't name names, but okay--so there's a project I'm working on for a friend of mine, where he sends me books and I read them and tell him what genre they fall into, if they're more magical realism or urban fantasy or paranormal romance or what. And that means that occasionally, I get an email that opens with "you won't enjoy this one, but". And let me tell you, when he says that. He's Right. I read this fucking book. This godforsaken novel. Dystopian future, incredibly generic heroman MC and his incredibly generic love-interest-only lady and their incredibly tertiary comic-relief best friend are the only people left who can perceive magic, comic relief friend dies early in the story and we are left absolutely humorless, can we restore magic (and by magic we mean human connection and emotion and also the literal ability to throw fireballs) to this soulless corporate nothingland, will our struggles ever matter, will we persevere. And I persevered! I trudged through this concrete-colored dystopia for pages and pages. I dragged myself bodily through this entire miserable experience in pursuit of that ages-old question, if the magic is governed by technology do we deem it a scifi or fantasy novel. The magic was all gathered into one object through a ritual by a coven (fantasy) but the object is essentially a PalmPilot (scifi) and you use it to make wishes (fantasy) but before they're granted you have to read through a terms and conditions and waive your rights to complain (scifi). You'd think this could be a fun thought experiment, or at least a neat concept to evaluate. No. If the monkey's paw ran on a macOS, it would still not be as convolutedly dickish as this thing. But being a shit story makes it something I want to throw out the window, not necessarily something I want to argue with. Being genre-non-compliant makes it something I might want to debate, except for how I very much just threw it back at my friend with a final label of "however your system lists A Wrinkle In Time". But no, what I'd like to speak words with the author over is: None of it mattered. So much searching for human connection and emotion, and the love interest has a reclusive richboy cousin who's kind of smug and offputting but she loves him anyway, he's her last remaining family member, towards the end of the book it looks like maybe they can put a spell together, they just need a third person to make a coven, let's go recruit the cousin! Family magic! Legacy! Emotional payoff! We're fools. No emotional payoff allowed in this mageless wasteland. Cousin has had the Monkey's PawPilot the entire time and has been wishing the world onto an ever-shittier trajectory in exchange for, I shit you not, tax breaks. And we fix this by killing him (this is an emotionless practical decision on MC's part, even Love Interest doesn't cry) and taking the PawPilot and wishing to go back in time not to prevent the condensing of all magic into an evil Apple device but instead just to keep it out of the shitty cousin's hands. Because obviously it's better off in the hands of its original owners, The US Government. And, crap cherry on this shit sundae, knock-on effects of this timeline divergence will keep the MC and Love Interest from ever meeting. So yeah, I'd argue with that author. I'd fight him in a gravel lot. Who does that good a job equating magic with human connection with emotion with color with prosperity, and then resolves the story by turning all of the above into a WMD for the Fucking Feds? I'm gonna feed him his own knucklebones.

4: What are your top 3 comfort reads? 11: What's a book you've recently re-read?

Oh man, I got so mad. Sorry about that. Comfort reads it is! And actually these are the same answers, because I've been rereading my favorite comfort books all week, because my mom's been in my house. She's gone now, but the books are still out on my bedside table. These are the ones I reread most recently out of the lot, and are the literal top three* of the comfort book stack:

Agnes and the Hitman by Jennifer Crusie

The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley

Sorcery & Cecilia or: The Enchanted Chocolate Pot by Patricia C Wrede

*This is without counting Silver Borne by Patricia Briggs, which is a very good book and part of one of my favorite serieses, but is really only in the stack, and in fact always on top, because every time I walk by I pick it up again, and the book falls naturally open to a line I read and reread like a mental touchstone: "Pack is for comfort when you hurt."

#asks #zahnie #thank you for the asks I'm sorry this answer is really just a huge long rant with a bulleted list appended #I promise they're very good comfort reads

[veliseraptor]

November Reading Recap

Scum Villain's Self-Saving System by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (reread). I've been reading the other Seven Seas translations as they come out volume by volume but for some reason decided to wait until all of them were out to reread this one. Maybe because it was the shortest wait or maybe because it does remain my least favorite of MXTX's three published novels.

I do still find it fascinating in narrative terms, though. I think @ameliarating put it well when she said it was one where she's less engaged with the story but thinks the narrative is really interesting, which I think lines up with my reaction.

Also it's just fascinating to read MXTX's three novels as charting a course of her development as a writer. I don't even mean that in terms of quality or anything, I'm just talking about "the themes I see explored in SVSSS and how they're developed compared to some of the same themes in MDZS and TGCF."

Jade City & Jade War by Fonda Lee (reread). I've had Jade Legacy sitting on my shelf for ages (in hardcover, if that tells you how long) partly because I knew I needed to do a full series reread and I kept dragging my feet about it because "I have so many other things to read! I don't want to go back and reread stuff before I read more of my completely unread things." But finally, I don't remember exactly why, I just went "yeah it's time" and dove in to reread these both. As good as I remember, highly recommended by me, I think of this series as occupying the same rough niche for me as, like, Ann Leckie and Seth Dickinson and N.K. Jemisin's earlier works, which probably mostly has to do with when they came out but also has some stuff to do with how they engage with colonialism and imperialism while also just being compelling as hell. Also I would die for Hilo and I'm not sorry about it *fingerguns*

Still haven't read Jade Legacy though. I blame the 7 books that came in at the library simultaneously right before I started.

They Want to Kill Americans: The Militias, Terrorists, and Deranged Ideology of the Trump Insurgency by Malcolm Nance. This book was frustrating and I didn't feel like I learned a whole lot from it except maybe some more information about the specifics leading up to and during the January 6th insurrection shit; I've read better excavations and analyses of white terrorism, QAnon, and the growth of right wing extremism in the United States in the 21st century. The casual fatphobia as shorthand also didn't do Nance any favors in my eyes.

Will say that one thing that came out of this book was the realization that I am really not ready to read anything about Covid. Didn't realize how much of a reaction I was going to have to that! And it wasn't even a major part of the book or anything.

How to Hide an Empire: A History of the Greater United States by Daniel Immerwahr. Best book I read in November, hands down; also absolutely infuriating in the "wow! a whole bunch of new awful stuff the United States government has done that I didn't know about!" sort of way. Digs into the history of the U.S.'s weird imperial dynamics with its "territories," particularly looking at the history of Puerto Rico, the Phillipines, a number of small islands in the Pacific Ocean...and, in the 21st century, the role of military bases abroad in creating what Immerwahr calls a "pointillist empire."

Fascinating book, deeply upsetting, I can already tell it's going to be one of those I go around talking to people about for a year until they get really tired of me saying "so I was reading this book How to Hide an Empire and-"

Also just...reminded me how much I love discovering holes in my knowledge. I mean, it's not like it's fun in the moment exactly to realize your own ignorance but hey, opportunity to learn. Pursuant to that if anyone has recommended reading about Filipino history I'll take it.

#since i'm doing this now i guess #sometimes i read things #reading recaps

[tresca]

Ngk

Stealing Crowley’s inarticulate consonants here to convey how ill equipped I feel to actually post anything. But I find myself completely overwhelmed at stumbling into the joyous and abundant good omens fandom. I’m no stranger to fandom but its been ages and ages since I attempted to be an active participant of any kind (big fan of lurking, me). My past fandoms have mostly been me going along the ride as things get rolling, building up, etc, slowly friending people, reading, finding forums, etc.

With GO though - I’ve always been a fan of the novel, enjoyed season 1 immensely, but never really went looking for the fandom. Was happy to enjoy it as a stand alone and await the next season and pick up my novel every now and then for a reread. (And get back to making my slow progress through more and more of discworld). I came back to S2 late, was caught up in other shows when it premiered and then I finally watched it in October/Nov and I was promptly bowled over with the tidal wave. That ending meant I couldn’t help myself, had to go find fics and discourse and art and anything to tide me over (particularly since S3 hadn’t yet been announced!). And I haven’t stopped since. I have felt like Aziraphale getting my first taste of the ox ribs and now I am voracious and I can’t seem to get enough. I thought it would be enough for me to just lurk and lurk and lurk, reading and following and liking and consuming. There’s just so many wonderful things to see and read amongst the fandom - yall are a bloody wonder. AND I’ve watched all of Staged multiple times now, listened to Radio Omens, am finally making my way (slowly) through Doctor Who (new, not classic) - a show countless people have always told me I need to watch, and on and on and I find myself wanting to be more a part of things this time, but not really sure how to jump into to a fandom months Too Late (I live in Another Place I guess). and oh god, don’t even get me started on how devastated I am to have missed the graphic novel kickstarter by being Too Late… and how are DT and MS in SO many things, and how do i even break into discord groups? and how did I not know how active NG is on tumblr, I mean, I hadnt even logged into tumblr in maybe a decade and its all so different yet so the same…

Er, ahem I got away from myself there. Not even sure anyone is actually reading this..

All this to say that If you happen to have stumbled here since I have been madly following and liking for the past few weeks. Hello! I’m gonna try to lurk less. You are all wonderful. Please dont mind the inarticulate tresca in the corner here. *meep*

#good omens #fandom #ngk #i miss livejournal #ramblings #hi

[gretchensinister]

Book Recommendations 2023!

Hello from someone who read 111 books this year! Time for favorites and recommendations!

Favorites:

Babel: Or the Necessity of Violence: An Arcane History of the Oxford Translators' Revolution by R. F. Kuang: I read this back in January 2023 and when I did I was like, “Did I read my favorite book of the year already in January?” Well, I did. In a world where the British Empire solidifies its power with silver infused with magic based on translation, a Chinese boy becomes an Oxford student and then has to decide what he’s going to do in the face of this system. Absolutely fantastic. (Also scratches that “school story + magic” itch that we’re all supposed to pretend we never liked.)

A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik: This one was pure fun, about students in a magical school with reasons for “no adults” and “high risk of death” that I was down with for the world. Main character has been foretold to be the most powerful evil wizard in the world. She doesn’t want this.

Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson: This is a nonfiction book by a lawyer who is working against the death penalty, and I highly recommend it to everyone who wants to know more about WTF is going on in the current US criminal justice system.

Creature: Paintings, Drawings, and Reflections by Shaun Tan: Art, highly charming art of creatures and monsters.

Dealing With Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede: This is the first book of the series The Enchanted Forest Chronicles, which I loved as a child and decided to reread this year. It’s about a princess who decides to go work for a dragon as the dragon’s princess, because it’s better than being wooed by a stupid prince. Fun, earnest fantasy. Also Kazul (King of the Dragons, she/her) please call me I love you.

Translation State by Ann Leckie: Things I really liked about this were that it included people in widely varying strange situations trying to figure out their futures. And one of the people doing this was a middle-aged adult. Also involved one of those Advanced Sci-fi Intimacy situations with two other people, which I always enjoy hollering about.

Revelations by Mary Sharratt: This is a novel about Margery Kempe, a medieval mystic, her life, and her travels, taking the work of Julian of Norwich to other communities in secret. This book really stood out to me because I found it really showed a deep understanding of the era it depicts, and the characters really feel like they have the framework of their time. I’m not a medievalist but I think I have read more than average about the European middle ages and that’s what I’m basing this opinion on. I thought it was very beautiful and very human.

The Wordhord by Hana Videen: This is a nonfiction book about Old English with chapters on topics like “health and the body” “travel” “occupations” etc. The idea is to examine what we can tell about the lives of Old English speakers based on the words they had. A significant amount of Old English vocabulary is included. Made me want to start putting Old English puns in the next thing I write but maybe I recovered from that.

Other recommendations:

Jesus and John Wayne by Kristin Kobes Du Mez: Do you want to know WTF is going on with the Christian Right in the United States? This will help.

Readme.txt by Chelsea Manning: Another book that I felt helped me understand a little more of WTF is going on re: the military/security culture

The Stones are Hatching by Geraldine McCaughrean: This is a book I read as a kid and missed a lot of because I didn’t know about a lot of traditional British faeries/creatures. I think anyone interested in folk horror as a genre would have fun reading this. It didn’t go on my favorites because the main character’s older sister is treated fatphobically to a degree that taints the overall book for me.

Hench by Natalie Zina Walschots: This is a fun book about a woman who makes a living as a henchperson for supervillains. After she gets injured by a superhero, she starts analyzing the actual cost of superheroes to the world, and this work leads her to working for one of the world’s top supervillains. I think this isn’t in my favorites because...IDK, it’s like...it felt vaguely like a reply to one of tumblr’s endless writing prompt posts? It’s good, and I know I have no room to talk about the tumblr style or whatever, but there’s a certain vibe...I don’t know how to describe it. I really do still recommend it.

NOTE: Reading is my main form of entertainment. I’m not keeping up with movies, videogames, TV shows, comics, etc. I have no qualifications with these recommendations except that I am a person who read 111 books this year.

#book recommendations #books

[roaringup]

Today Robin and I met our friend in a park that has a playground in it and hung out near/on a rope climbing structure for a while (late enough in the day that there were never more than one or two children nearby). Genuinely so nice to climb and clamber around on some ropes, and makes me wishful for some kind of cultural setup where there are more public free outdoor play structures designed for/open to people of all ages. Maybe these are a thing in the society of that utopian Starhawk novel.

The intense heat finally broke. I also finally planted the tomatoes and pepper the neighbors gave us, which is something I had been putting off doing because of that heat. (I don’t want to imply it was out of some attempt at prudently conserving the plants’ health; I am not that dutiful; I just didn’t feel like kneeling and digging while it was 95 degrees out or whatever.) Anyway, it was a lot cooler today, the tomatoes were floppy but I think they’re likely to perk back up, and the pepper seemed happy enough in its container all along.

“La Nuit” is progressing and I’m listening to the audiobook of Harrow the Ninth while I stitch it, after having also listened to and finished Gideon the Ninth just previously. This is my second pass through those books; previously I had read both of them once (in “print” and not audio—though it was on my phone, on the library app Libby). I understand the plots a lot better on this rereading, and I’m enjoying them—although I still have mixed feelings about the writing style, which is overwrought sometimes in a fun aesthetic way and sometimes in a way that falls flat for me.

Nutmeg is being very cute hanging out on my bed. I should really get her some cat stairs; she’s been struggling with the jump up there. Arthritis, and she was never particularly sprightly even when younger, possibly due to having been declawed before we got her. They say it can give cats trouble with their paws.

Time to brush my teeth and stop internetting

#mine

[masonsystem]

ok organized my thoughts and reread some bits so this is the better worded long post where i complain abt why novel 6 and novel 7 rubbed me the wrong way, but specifically in regards to how it handled shintaro as a Main Character

firstly the 180 from kano's hatred towards shintaro to a current admiration is very jarring. it feels very rushed, and its very weird how kano practically has 0 lingering resentment towards him. like just two days ago he was psychologically torturing shintaro, and now he thinks of him like this?

^all of this is kano's gay ass pov regarding shintaro btw

like i completely understand now why people ship kanoshin now bc this 100% reads like a kid crushing on their older sibling's friend. it might just be really strange localization, but with the lack of fan translations for this novel, this is all i can go off from. but it honestly feels so bizarre and like, not in a funnily comforting way but like... a strange misogynistic way?! but ill get to that in a second.

anyways i understand that kano just had the biggest breakdown of his life in the ending of novel 5, and his facade essentially broke apart entirely. and now without the need to put up a front, kano is able to recognize how much shintaro has changed from the guy from two years ago who would turn away from everything in front of him. but despite that rationalization, its still an overall pretty weird dynamic bc well..... what connects these two individuals is a currently deceased ayano, but i feel like she doesnt play a significant enough role in their assessments of one another.

and this is what i mean by the fact that this kanoshin dynamic feels strangely misogynistic. if shintaro's feelings towards kano was like, "i owe it to you to get your sister back, because it was my arrogance in the past that led her to not confide in me", then that wouldve been fine, and would have also been what i expected. but instead it feels more like a "hey, youre not that bad of a guy, shintaro!" "haha you too kano! guffaw guffaw", like.. what?

but to get to the crux of it, what bothers me the most abt their dynamic is that kano (and the rest of the dan) is now suddenly relying on shintaro. like all of a sudden he's being given rein to create a gameplan for them to survive the summer. like what? this is what i mean by shintaro's Main Character Complex, where hes placed into this type of position seemingly just bc he is the Main Character of the story.

i have many issues with the fact that shintaro was the main planner for this infiltration scheme. i think it was a big mistake that only a few members worked on it, cuz something this important shouldve involved the whole group's input, so its off-putting that it didnt. hibiya apparently played a big role, but this was only mentioned in passing by kano, instead of actually being shown. maybe the final novel might show a more comprehensive picture of this plan being put together by the whole group, and if it does, ill be happy to eat my words.

but not just that, but also how extremely similar this plan is to the one that momo devised against the terrorists in novel 1. both of them hinged themselves on the same trick, with kido appearing out of thin air with mary by her side. but momo devised her plan in a much more stressful setting, in a hostage situation with only a cellphone, with way less members at her disposal and an even lesser understanding of everyone's powers. and yet momo is not shown to have put in any input in this new plan, and the similarities and her clever ideas from the first plan are not acknowledged at all, like??? despite momo being shown to be just as capable as shintaro, if not even more so, it feels like she got pushed to the side so shintaro could have more time Being The Main Character. not to mention that im also iffy with the fact that shintaro spent more time around kids her age than momo herself did, with momo instead running around with hibiya since novel 4?!

so instead of the concoction of the final climatic infiltration plan being a group effort, and rather than having momo play a bigger role which she very much deserved to, shintaro is randomly made leader of this plot instead. bc he is the Main Character; which is then justified bc of the intellect he possesses, which honestly feels like something that was hamfisted into the narrative.

shintaro's intellect has a difficult time fitting into the story. this intellect is meant to be the reason why he was brazenly arrogant, this arrogance then being the flaw of his former self (did not reach out to ayano in a way that mattered), but the strength of his current self (the confidence and resourcefulness to create a climatic infiltration plan). but as i pointed out, it's manner of fitting itself into the current day plot, came at the expense of making kano bizarrely forgiving, and copying momo's brilliance but without any of the acknowledgement.

and this then relates itself to novel 6, which similarly threw itself out of balance in order to have a pretty big focus on harushin. like i understand the importance of harushin, its supposed to be a significant parallel to shintaro's strange friendship with konoha. i get that. but it feels a bit Too skewed to harushin? i can recognize the harutaka but like ive said before, considering that takane's whole novel practically revolved around haruka, with shinaya playing a very small part, it feels unbalanced when haruka's novel almost focuses more on shintaro than it does takane?? but ok thats not the main thing thats out of balance that really gripes me, whats really irritating me is this:

WHEREEEEE THE HELL IS SHINAYA. LIKE. THERES NO SHINAYA?? like it just feels so unbalanced?? we got our harutaka, cool (all of novel 2 + some of novel 6). a few helpings of ayataka along the way, nice (ayano encouraging takane to confess her feelings 2 years ago + ayano's email to ene). novel 6 coming in with some sweet hot harushin, and a little sprinkle of haruaya, very nice. now wheres the shinaya? where is it. huh. Where... THERE... IS NO.... SHINAYA..... they are like, completely and utterly subtextual. it is almost parody. LIKE...

like on one hand i understand that this could be interpreted as a cool, deliberate effect; shinaya's relationship haunts the story and they haunt one another, they talk about how their absence affect each other and all that, but we never actually see them interact meaningfully in the story.

^relevant remind blue lyrics pertaining to shinaya (IN MY GRANDIOSE AND CORRECT OPINION)

i get that, thats cool. its just.... UGHHH its just super extremely frustrating. EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING. shintaro literally does not let up at all like he is INCREDIBLY unlikeable when he is a student so ayano's crush on him just feels incredibly deranged. HE DIDNT EVEN REMEMBER HER BIRTHDAY????? like for me to be ok with this, all of this needs to be remorsefully acknowledged or something and we need to get our penultimate shinaya moment in the daze or SOMETHING cuz this is. getting.. ridiculous..

ok but basically to wrap it up, very annoying that shintaro spent more time with kido, mary, and kano than momo did; very annoying that hes being relied on for making a crucial gameplan that practically ripped momo's brilliant ideas off with no acknowledgement; and very annoying that he played a massive role in haruka's novel, while shinaya continues to be the most subtextual of subtexts. GRAHHH

#completely aware im being so mean to a character who gets their head ripped off but oh well. #shintaro has been pissing me off for 5+ years and he will continue to do so #kgprambling

[jodellejournals]

throwback thursday: a letter for my 22nd birthday | written on march 7, 2018

many of you do not know, but i keep letters and notes given to me since i was around ten. i consider them as my treasures regardless if they were written in a simple white bond paper, colored ones, stationaries with glitters and stickers, or scented (which is my favorite!). i reread them gently with utmost care, on random times, since they have wilted like flowers and faded into a vintage-brown shade on their edges. suddenly, i am transported to a different time and age.

below was the very first letter i have written to myself and it was for my 22nd birthday. the early twenties are indeed years of hustling and figuring out who you want to be so i decided to acknowledge my struggles and wins and apologize for the times i felt like i wasn’t enough…

to this little dreamer with big dreams and burning passion in her heart, happy birthday! the last two decades have been simultaneously tough and magical but it only ignited a fire in your soul.

on some days, you did not see a rainbow but you have learned how to dance in the storm until it was over. on some nights, you felt like glass breaking into a million pieces, but what matters most is that you chose to rise together with the sun in the morning.

some friends became strangers so hold on to those who are still there even if you are not lovable; but little girl, your family will always be there even if the world turns its back against you so continue to keep them in your heart.

you realized that life was more than just getting good grades or wearing cool roller-skates that everyone else was wearing. it was more than having long and silky hair in high school or being noticed at a millisecond by your crush. it was more than going to your dream university and earning a degree, a 9-5 desk job, establishing networks, or titles. none of these has defined or will ever define you because only you, can. please remember that.

your favorite ice cream flavor will not always be mango when you were a careless kid with pigtails running back and forth at the school ramps at eight or strawberry when you were a shy and hopeless romantic teenager rereading novels written by nicholas sparks at sixteen --- but avocado. maybe it will still change in the years to come and that is okay. it is okay to change as long as it encourages your growth.

i am sorry for the times i have forgotten to take care of you or loved you any less than what you deserve. now, i am busy showering you with love and appreciation on a daily basis and caring less of what people think.

i am so proud of you — for keeping the faith and choosing to keep moving forward until you see the light at the end of the tunnel. hold on to that faith, as tight as you can, just like how you held on to that rope back in grade-school, on your sports fest playing tug of war. your battles only made you stronger and your chaos only made you wiser.

every time i see this photograph of yours, a bit grainy and faded through the passing of years gone by, i remember being at the tender age of five, full of dreams, hope, and wonder. a child-like innocence that made me see the world in rose-tainted glasses; but even if you remove those glasses and started seeing the thorns, i hope that you will never lose that sparkle in your eyes and also the warmth in your smile, no matter how old you age.

sincerely,

your newly turned 22-year-old self today

[televinita]

Library Triage! kinda?

I have soooo many library items checked out right now and I’m making progress on returning none of them; between working overtime and spending way more of my downtime than usual just incessantly watching the same clips on YouTube, I am not reading very much. But I can’t seem to let anything go. So this (even more than usual) is just me trying to make sense of everything so I don’t lose any items this time...

Part 1: DVDs

No Escape: I have watched this already (twice now in this checkout period, including the one with commentary!) so really I should be done with it, but I’m not. I want it close at hand. It’s too good.

The Hollow Crown: Complete Series: the gifs have been promising so we’re gonna have fun with this. Eventually. Right now my ability to handle it is taking one look at a still from any of them and immediately turning into a cartoon with eyes/heart ballooning out of my body, so I am not yet calm enough for that.

The Night Manager: I’m pretty sure this is actually the project I’m going to target next. I know what I gotta shield my eyes about but I also think I can manage the rest of it, and I’m finally interested in the larger story.

Thor 1-3 + The Avengers: for when I’m ready to continue my Loki journey.

(And yet, I’m still over here like, “I gotta go check out those other two movies I want to see. I gotta.”)

================

Part 2: Books

After Perfect -  Maan Gabriel: 2 months ago, I pulled several titles off my Goodreads TBR that I thought I might like to try soon. And then...Hiddleston Spiral. Library is already down to 1 copy of this small-press 2021 release (they started with 3 or 4), and I’m genuinely afraid it’s gonna get weeded entirely very soon. But still, I think I’m too far off course now to be in the right mood for this particular romance, which is rare (age-appropriate student/creative writing professor, except the professor is the younger one), so I want to save it.

Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix (illustrated): I’ve decided not to reread this one yet, I’m just looking at the pictures, but even that I can’t commit to doing. I have been waiting more than a year for this release to get into my hands; I have to be ready to appreciate them. Block out an hour or so to observe/maybe reread select passages/jot notes on my faves.

The Hungry Place - Jessie Haas: a children’s pony book by an author I like that I really thought I would be more excited about/devour quickly, but instead I’m kind of blocked up about it. Like. There is some sadness here before the happy parts, IDK if I’m ready for it!

Just Gus - McCall Hoyle: speaking of children’s books, a cute one about a dog, companion novel to Stella. It really won’t take me more than 90 minutes to read. Why do I keep putting it off.  [edit: go me, I actually started this one in the brief interim between queuing this post and its appearance]

The Essex Serpent - Sarah Perry: still haven’t even opened it, but I WILL whether I fully read it or not.

(Meanwhile: those 20+ books I just bought and was kinda planning to read at least some of soon...) (p.s. I actually have my latest sale post written up! I just wanted to take photos)

+ 5 books I’ve technically read but don’t wanna give back because I love them and love paging through them

+ 3 Taylor Swift CDs -- Reputation for Getaway Car (I don’t think I’m ready to explore further yet, but I have as yet been too lazy to rip it); and Folklore and Lover to play in the car, the former’ cause I don’t own it and the latter ‘cause IDK where I put my copy and am frankly too lazy to look. :P

#library triage #i really need to make sure I know where all these items are #long checkouts are a recipe for disasterrrr

[expfcultragreen]

Tldr: i have always been aware that i am awful in the ways in which i am awful

...but i can always choose to be more honest about it and i have done a lot of drugs and gotten a lot of brain damage since i was a cptsd-cyborg growing up in the pnw. I think i turned out ok its just fucked up how slowly that was allowed to happen and i resent how low-info the world i grew up in was. Viva the new enlightenment. This is the dawning of the age of awoke w/ us. Highvibe nation whatwhat, etc. Speaking of highschool, the alty kids who were too cool for everyone were all in an amnesty international club together that like some well-leftoid [i flatter myself to say this applies to me, too, finally] to-the-manner-born [i wish] anarkiddie had started years earlier or whatever. I didnt know what the fuck amnesty international was and i never looked it up because i was like "candle with barbed wire around it, arm bands, gotcha. Maybe i'll ~care about Stuff in ~college but for now i unabashedly care only about new episodes of sex and the city and rereading anne rice novels. Oh and buffy!" (Is the uncomfortably stark whiteness of that shit still telegraphic like it was to the amnesty international club kids? Because the most culturally enriching media in my life in hs was antm which started at the end--and the fact that i was a massive weeb. These were the limits of my horizons at the time. Hilarious. What a way to be.) Point being, they were what we would today call woke, because now white people know that word and have distorted it into an intended insult, but at the time there wasnt anything pithy to call them derisively for being cooler than i was so to deflect/project my own insecurities about being utterly clueless and objectively uncool (insecurities i had because i could approximately grasp that these things were entirely true, even without the necessary context to have done better or to truly have known my insecurities werent just residual social anxiety from being all puberty-riddled like i constantly massaged into my brain as a cope; also i percieved the cooler kids i alienated by being all zomboidal as being snobbish and overly cynical, and there were only like a dozen of them anyway in a school of 1000+ students whose good graces and high opinions i didnt covet), i called them the fashion club, like from daria. As if to suggest that they were all mindlessly hopping on some highbrow trend of "advanced" leftism (i was a teenage ndp campaigner, i thought the amnesty club kids were "doing too much," to have a focus beyond party politics in highschool) their champagne swilling glitterati parents had tuned them in to, yet from my pov most of them had the pretention of basically drafting themselves as child soliders or some shit in these overseas conflicts they actually knew and inherently cared about. I didnt even know who Che Guevara was, starting hs with these kids. They were actually drafting themselves as child soliders, in the culture war. They did all dress very chic, they had matured frames of reference and shoplifting chops. Mild affiliation/cross-pollination with the slightly nicer and way dorkier theatre kids via the Openly Gay Kid contingent. Naturally i never counted as Openly Gay because i was "bi" and they didnt care who i was dating plus "everyone's bi" so i didnt get any latent solidarity points for being out in hs, which seemed arbitrary at the time because their whole universe seemed to be a matrix of solidarity points, and the gold star jr gays were like there on a ticket of Being The Gay Accessory......but aaaactually, i had obviously managed to say and do a bunch of heinously braindead awkward-kid-with-fash-parents-but-the-kid-doesnt-even-get-that-yet-beyond-the-level-of-personal-grievance-with-their-restrictiveness type stuff and they had all written me off as pointless. Fair play to them, i had so much catching up to do. I think mostly theyre yuppies now. Except for the ones who got really into the 60s and no one ever saw them again, fade out

#woke

[daedalusdavinci]

im just gonna spitball fic ideas here bc i dont have any rn and i wanna see if this helps me brainstorm

i kinda feel like writing bruharv, but i also feel like i write literally so much bruharv all the time and im kind of sick of being That Guy? it feels like im incapable of doing anything else or something. but i also dont really have any concrete ideas besides vague feelings that are about as coherent as mashing two barbie dolls together and saying “now kiss”

on that note though, i could revisit bruharv as it stands in the jdau, but i dont think theres a lot to say right now. i think i covered it all in lost days. there probably wont be more to say about it until after jason tells them hes back, and then itll be getting into more of the [spoilers] betrayal stuff and harvey and 2f taking the confession completely differently from bruce and how that feeds into the divorce arc and how insufferable they are. btu i still havent really figured out how i want to write jason telling harvey and 2f in particular, and i kinda think i dont want to write it, and just want to skip forward until after? the dick and jason fic was almost impossible to write particularly bc of shit im going thru irl rn and ik that fic would be harder. maybe ill just do that and pick up with a fic of what their relationship is starting to shape into post rh. should proooobably finish reading damians comics first tho and maybe some of cass’s (i might not bother reading any n52 ones, given that almost everything so far has been 100% preboot characterizations)

on a DIFFERENT note but still bruharv related, i could indulge that little voice in the back of my head that wants me to dig my fingers into full on btas characterization with judge and hardac!bruce and the full mess. i dont know what id do with it though i just have a lot of feelings about both of them

setting aside all of that,

im still thinking about that detective eddie/brce au. i just picked up a bunch of detective books from the library yesterday so ill probably read those over the weekend and then maybe ill finally hammer out some kind of plot. but thats not gonna be until this weekend and in the meantime ??? i have a lot of thoughts about like the kinds of people they are and the kinds of characters and the bakcground characters in this au but no plot and augh. maybe i should bend someones ear and just rant characters for a while and see what happens

i also mentioned ages ago that i was thinking abt a pjo au where nico brings jason bck from the dead and leo is heavily involved and shit and i still think that that would be sick asf but id have to reread all of pjo to do it probably and rn my reading list consists of detective novels, then asoue, THEN maybe pjo, so god honestly knows when/if ill get around to it. its also like. when i came up w this idea i was in a place where the vibes w my writing was very much melancholy and bittersweet and heavy on the death and rn im uhhh not in that place as much anymore im struggling to figure out what direction i want to go in instead

maybe ill go back to my roots andjust start writing fluffy pjo fics again. REALLY return to the roots. just garbage nonsense fics. idk.

i wish i had the braincells to write something hs but i dont and i havent in ages and theres a million reasons for that but ill probably try and reread a few of my older fics soon and well see what comes out of that

anyway thats about where my head is at rn lolll i dont expect anyone to have read this but if you have thoughts i wouldnt mind hearing them it helps to feel like im not talking to air sometimes

#tbd

[twopoppies]

Hi! I hope it’s not too annoying of a request but I was wondering if you or your followers can think of any fics that are kinda inspiring academically, especially regarding British literature, if that makes sense? I just finished rereading Come As You Are and every time I read it, it motivates me to read more and practice my writing because I want to be more like Harry from that fic hahaha and I’m looking for more fics which evoke this feeling since I’m starting my masters in October and I need all the help I can get. Thank you so much! (I absolutely love your master post and its my go to couple times a week!)

Hi sweetheart. Hmmm... I just reblogged my Dark Academia fic rec, but other than that I think it would be fics where one or the other are writers/poets etc. Not all of these are heavy on the writing/poetry, but they're all great fics.

Make Your Words A Weapon by @helloamhere (E, 36K) I recently read this a second time and it’s even better than I remembered. I love everything this author writes. This one just really hit me hard for whatever reason. Maybe it’s the way they explore Louis’ anxiety and coping mechanisms and pain and the way he pushes people away and protects himself, but also wants someone to push back just a bit and love him despite all of that. And the way Harry is the perfect foil for all of it, while also feeling like a fully developed character himself. Yeah, it’s probably all of that. Plus soul marks! (Musician Harry/Music Journalist Louis)

Our Lives, Non Fiction by @indiaalphawhiskey (E, 114K) this is, quite literally, the best fic I’ve read in years. It’s so well written, clever, funny, emotional, and sexy. Its draw you in immediately and you’ll end up falling in love with these characters before you know it. Don’t miss this one. Harry and Louis are both authors.

An Invincible Summer by Brooklyn_Babylon / @twopoppies (E, 45K) this one is mine, I hope you like it:

Never content to stay in one place for long, a few months down south researching for his novel seemed like an idyllic, slow-paced summer to Louis. He wasn’t ready for the blistering heat, the backbreaking work of watermelon picking, or how stifling the attitudes in rural Georgia would feel. And he definitely hadn’t anticipated falling in love with the farmer’s son.

The summer of 1946 would turn out to be everything worth writing about. Farmer Harry / author Louis

Mine Would Be You by @crinkle-eyed-boo (E, 115K) Beautifully written, flawed characters and an emotionally engaging and ANGSTY plot. Super hot smut that made me cry like a fool. Banter, OT5 friendship, and the gritty realness of New York as a backdrop. Loved this one. Artist Harry / Author Louis

where your lips land by BriaMaria / @briannamarguerite (E, 12K) Ok, I’ve recommended this one a few times and I really do love it. Anyway, I love fics where the two of them are both artists of some sort (Louis is a poet in this one, Harry is a photographer) because it allows for another layer of understanding and connection and support. I particularly love the way Louis’ tattoos are woven into this story with layered meaning. And, as always, just beautiful writing.

you’re writing lines about me by snazzyasalways (T, 4K) This is gorgeously written on that Dreamy, poetic style I happen to love. Louis is a blind poet, Harry is a baker, Harry falls in love with Louis’ words, then with him.

another hazy may by deLILah (M, 41K) Another author who writes great fic after great fic. This one has that dreamy quality I love and there’s also something about it that, at times, reminds me of a little bit of a Raymond Chandler novel. I know that’s weird...but, yeah, it does. Anyway, I love this one. Such a good read.

I would name the stars for you (I would take you there) by orphan_account (M, 91K) This is just beautifully written. Angst. Mutual pining. Dumb boys. Beautiful descriptions of art and creativity and fame and beautiful poetry.

Little Technicolor Things by scary_crow (M, 72K) This is truly one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I have ever read and it is an absolutely travesty that it’s not being talked about every day. This fic is gorgeous and poetic and romantic and heartbreaking and an explosion of metaphoric images and everything I never knew I needed but now that I have it I want to read it over and over and over.

But If This Ends by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense (E, 107K) This author referred to this fic as their “depressed vampire” fic while they were writing, and it is that. But it’s also a unique story with beautifully fleshed out characters, plot twists, and super hot smut. Go check it out! Vampire Harry / Writer Louis

24K Magic by @justalittlelouislove (E, 33K) FINALLY a category in which I can rec this author! I love everything they write, but this was the first one I’d read and it’s just great. Smooth dialogue, sexy smut, great description of character growth…just a really fun fic.

the best part of me (was always you) by @moonshinelouis-archive (E, 6K) Gorgeous writing. The descriptions of heartbreak and missing someone and still loving them were really well done. And I cried. Of course.

'Sup by MediaWhore (GA, 7K) Divorced, awkward Harry pining for silver fox Louis is a trope I never knew I needed, but I love it so much.

I Will Never Rust by stylez (E, 38K) I must have read this at least 5 years ago and I honestly don’t remember details, but my notes say “gorgeous, sad, sexy” so... I’m crossing my fingers that old me knew what she was talking about. It’s frat boy Harry so that could go either way. LOL! Student/Poet Harry.

Loyal Knight and True by rainbowninja167 / (E, 52K) Really original story, mystery and magic, great characterizations. All around a very good read!

Turning Page by purpledaisy (M, 68K) This author does a wonderful job with their characterizations which makes their fics such a pleasure to read. This one really has you rooting for curmudgeonly Louis and skittish/secretive Harry to figure their shit out and fall in love. If you like this one, make time to read this author’s fic, Walk That Mile – it’s one of my all time favorites. Sports journalist Louis.

Black with Autumn Rain by Whimsicule (T, 93K) This author is a favorite. If you like intense, creative stories, with complex characters and tight dialogue, you should read all of their fics. This one has the flavor of a Daphne du Maurier novel – dark, creepy, and moodily romantic. Plus a supernatural edge. It’s so good. Journalist Harry.

That Sounds Fake But Okay by dancingontheceiling (E, 113K) This one has a little bit of everything: Enemies to lovers, fake relationship, famous/not famous... plus, really good writing and some sexy smut scenes. Actor Louis / journalist Harry.

Sing When You're Winning by hazmesentir (NR, 91K) another one I read ages ago, but I always like this author’s writing and the premise of newly out footballer Louis and journalist intern Harry who somehow snags the interview, is such a fun one. And I don’t know why it has an NR rating, there’s plenty of smut.

feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream by togetherwecouldbealright (M, 123K) I read this one so, so long ago that all I remember is that I loved it, that there’s some really romantic and sweet moments, and that my notes from way back when only say, “OMG this one is so good! And I’ve barely gotten to the smut!” HAHAHAHA! Journalist Harry/prince Louis (this fic has been deleted, so the link is to a download).

#writers and poets #my fic rec #larry fic rec