#me when I get comfortable around u

[player1064]

carraville core beliefs (aka things I am Always keeping in mind when writing them)

Gary:

always busy. always talking. genuinely one of the most annoying people alive. his friends often mute him on whatsapp

easily bribed with chocolate

too rich to have any concept of what things should cost or how anything works

has a Type and that type is tall muscular men

related to his type: likes to be Held. (make of that what you will)

was in love with becks when they were young and everyone who knows him knows this

Jamie:

very much a lads lad and so probably a bit of a bastard but unconsciously acts soft around Gary

loud and over the top especially when he's joking around. VERY touchy-feely but only with people he's comfortable with

does not like sweets. does not like coffee.

loves a paycheck

doesn't have a type he's just insane about Gary. so insane about him that he doesnt necessarily have to actually like men at all to like HIM

completely utterly whipped

as a pair:

always the most insane people in any room they're in and always the most intense

bullying is their love language and they're suspicious if they're being nice to each other

genuinely stupidly fond of each other. what was it I said the other day they just delight each other so much

the reason they delight each other/click so well is BECAUSE they're always the two most insane people in any room they're in

everything is a competition and once they're together they STAY together bc they are both determined to Win at their relationship

#thank u for coming to my ted talk #(also for gary core belief that he has the same genre of autism as me but that is implied) #comtext for some of these: nicky butt literally said in co92 that he muted gary on whatsapp #the other gary stuff is just all like actually literally true like we know this #cant remember when jamie said he doesnt like sweets but he said in his overlap interview that he doesnt like coffee #often in my fics he will get gary coffee and i am always careful to never say that hes got HIMSELF coffee #touchy feely only when he's comfortable comes from him saying on cbs that he doesnt like being touched #vs everything he ever does ever when around gary #him being a bastard i just know in my heart to be true. him going soft around gary well we all have eyes #needing to win at their relationship comes from sara's fic obviously. that is The fic summary of all time #carraville #oh yeah the likes to be held make of that what you will bit obviously is me implying that i think hes a bottom. #but we all already know that too

[thaliasthunder]

as an atheist that was even physically forced to hear unsolicited religious discourses of "how wrong i am", how "im gonna burn in hell" or "god hates/is dissapointed of me" from believers after saying im atheist, magnus being atheist without being antagonized or questioned for it is something so fucking personal to me

#not me opening up about my religious trauma #anyway jokes aside #i think magnus is really the first openly atheist character that is not antagonized for it #or in his 'spiritual path of becoming a believer' #he's just a silly guy that happens to be atheist #(bonus points bc this is a CHILDREN'S BOOK) #guys u dont understand the first time magnus said he was atheist in tsos my eyes literally got WATERY #like my city is not even that religious people just act stupid and intolerant when they see something that they're not used to #and trust me after years it gets fucking FRUSTRATING constantly having to hear believers telling me 'why i should believe' #like bitch leAVE ME ALONEEEE #it's not like i go around telling believers 'why the should not believe' bc i know that's nOT MY FUCKING BUSINESS #anyway every time magnus reminds the reader he's atheist it feels like a comfort hug to me #like him doing a pat pat on my head and saying 'u'r doing nothing wrong u silly girl' #😔 #atheist magnus i hold u close to my heart #magnus chase #mcga #alex fierro #samirah al abbas #fierrochase #pjo #hoo #percy jackson #rick riordan

[hospitalyuris]

Everytime someone says I'm wasting what god gave me I grin and say good

#tbis applies to anyone visibly gender queer ur rhe ideal and i love you dearly #whatever u look like whether ur pre or post whatever #tbank you for making me feel safer with ur continued existence and thank u for reminding me life is full of good tjigs #ill probably delete this later but i was just feeling some kinda way abt my body #I've gone thru a lot of stuff accepting it and learning to like it and realize its just here to carry me around and i shouldn't resent it #when its doing tbe best job it can #its not its fault what i was got lost in translation its just meat #i dont plan on transistioning anytjme soon cuz A) im very young and B) that shit expensive even tho ive known im a guy p much my whole life #n i also dont plan on legally changing my name in the foreseeable future cuz A) i actually dont mind my legal name i think its cool #B) also expensive and they dont even get it right half of the time on future legal documents anyways #what a scam #i should just be able to walk up and state that im a guy and not have to bend over backwards to prove it for other ppls comfort #lazy trans ppl rise. divine act of creation but boy am I tired and its always Sunday #just in general most of it boils down to tje cis ppl in charge are dicks #trans #mspaint #whatever #nudity #transgender #also i have a mini vash the stampede that runs around my phone screen and he keeps gettong under my fingers while typing this

[parchmentknight]

CHARLES SMITH RED DEAD 2 UHHH

charles smith redemption two is just like me fr

#what is it called when u really vibe with a character and see urself in it #charles isnt my fav fav character but he is definitely the one that is most ME #i dont know what term tumblr uses anymore #anyways. #IM POC SEASIAN K. DONT GET ME WRONG IM BROWN #i too think about conserving nature and the ecosystems and the inportance of animals especially ones that resonate with my family #and the protection of cultural animals that are being killed off by poachers #and how silence is comfortable and doesnt always need to be filled and how my closest friends are comfortable with it too #and how hard it is to be good but u strive to be good in a cruel world anyways #and becoming a better person despite your traumas and the environment around you #and im hoping for a good ending... maybe a better one than charles' but a good one nonetheless #also his dry humour. miss throwing deadpan lines around my highschool teachers. doesnt happen in online asynchronous school :/ #also he has body goals. man is BUILT and MAJESTIC i wanna be like that so freaking bad #rivera writes #charles smith #rdr2 #just personal rambles before i hit the hay #comic expo is in two days!!! tryna cop some red dead merch yk

[notetaeker]

Wow I was so unappreciative of my own accomplishments when I was in college. I'm trying to put together a portfolio and it turns out I wrote 5 whole news articles for the school paper ???

#I thought it was around 2 honestly #and also there was an article abt some event I came up with ?? that I had forgotten abt #nah ppl rlly need to find themselves on the floor to appreciate things they did before #I rlly saw myself as such a failure... I remember crying infront of one of the office counselors when they asked me if- #-i was excited abt graduating and I literally was like I feel like I don't deserve it because I've accomplished nothing #what a horrible way to be feeling #I'm sorry to my old self for living like that. man. 'gifted' kid struggles tbh. it makes u so. ungrateful and also feel miserable abt ursel #for absolutely no reason while everyone is telling you that you're fine and you're doing great #and instead of being comforted by that like a normal person. it starts giving u some bad imposter syndrome and need to live up to expectati #anyway. alhamdulillah that I am not like that anymore. Alhamdulillah Allah gas given me some peace #I often get nostalgic abt those times but it's also good to rmember the bad parts of those times too lol so we don't live in the past #💭.txt

[didsomeonesayventus]

thinking about Alear with a fancy little gold chatelaine for the emblem rings while they're out and about + away from the Somniel or ring chamber and need to have emblems on hand. makes the most dainty and pleasing little jingle. pretty sparkles and functional holding. Might even be a mage dragon relic with some more fancy magics like only responding to Divine Dragon's touch to unhook anything attached.

"but what if it breaks or damages the rings from all the knocking around + together when Alear moves" I think they're magically resilient enough that we don't need to worry about that. they get tarnished and dirty but they magically fit everyone's different ring sizes and have lasted the length and breadth of recorded history in Elyos I think they're fine. Consider it enrichment for the emblems to get bounced around like that.

#katie rambles #fe17 #naughty emblems get bounced around on the divine chatelaine #but like mostly this is me being a lover of sparklies and interested in the functional jewelry that is chatelaines #and I think alear would like the comfort of his besties making little dainty jingles at his hip #plus would explain where the emblems are hanging out when they're in the field #alear vc get over here to return the rings guys (starts clipping rings to chains) #more secure than a pocket while about as easy access u kno #and also would probably look really pretty.

[byanyan]

it's 7am and you wake up to the feeling of something swatting at your knees. you open your eyes to see byan sitting on the end of your bed, hand raised to go in for another smack. "oh good, you're awake," they say, like they aren't the one who caused that. like it's normal for them to be in your home. "you're outta bread. and orange juice. how's a guy supposed to get any breakfast around here???"

#when the stray cat is mad u didn't leave any food out for them #....when the stray cat is getting decidedly too comfortable around ur home #not only are u waking up to them whining at you about food #but ur coming home at night to ur houseplants being knocked over and ur couch cushions being torn up #and all ur food has been opened and eaten #meanwhile they're just passed out taking a nap in ur bathtub #...im in a shitpost-y mood today im sorry #I had a sugar cookie latte first thing after waking up and it's done smth to me #it's gotta be the sugar bc caffeine does Not do this to me #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ shitpost ⋮ bold of you to assume i've reached peak dumbass.

[whumpshaped]

cant stop thinking abt that reply to bram's post abt the abusive cluster b parents so just know if u were abused like that, first of all, samesies and it gave me cluster b pds as a result, second of all, i promise no one whos calling for understanding of cluster b ppl is invalidating ur experiences. if u feel like they ARE, i sincerely hope u realise u dont have to have a medical explanation for why others suck. if ur parents sucked, u can just say that, and its freeing, and focusing on behavioural patterns instead of diagnoses (which u most likely dont have access to when it comes to strangers) will allow u to weed out actual bad ppl and keep urself safe(er)

#i understand its easy and comfortable to latch onto labels especially when it comes to parents #i did it #then i was diagnosed w the same shit #that was my turning point i think #when i realised we have the same shit and yet i am actively working very hard to be kind and compassionate #i dont go out of my way to be mean #at some point u have to realise that some ppl r just evil and mean spirited #and pds arent indicative of how self aware or kind or polite or compassionate someone is #i'd argue most of us put in SO much work to know ourselves and our potentially harmful behavioural patterns #way more than a neurotypical who never bothered to look inward for even a second #'these stereotypes dont come from nothing' #no shit! my dad called me both borderline and narcissist as insults AND I TURNED OUT TO HAVE BOTH #but let me tell u smth #most of my symptoms? are fucking survival mechanisms i learned as a child to avoid getting hurt. because thats what the brain does. #u know what else didnt come from thin air? sayings like hurt people hurt people #plus my victim complex allows me to write banger complaint letters now so theres that #look around u and be very comfortable w the fact that ur probably surrounded by a bunch of cluster b ppl that u adore #bc we're just ppl too #and ur doing urself a disservice trying to spot us #cluster b ppl can be evil ppl just as neurotypicals but they can also be ur friend who struggles w insecurities and is a huge ppl pleaser #bc they read the ableist posts too and they know everyone in the mainstream world thinks theyre evil #and when if u told them 'well my cluster b parents were abusive' in a less accusatory tone #maybe theyd look u in the eye w compassion and say 'yea i know how that feels and im here for u'

[quietwingsinthesky]

thinks about child-but-growing-fast amara and lucifer in the same room and gets ill.

#im gonna get called a homestuck again im SORRY its a good trope #she’s not his mom but she is. older than him and older than god and a being he helped imprison. #and the effects of that. here and now. are that she is so weak she has to relearn how to exist. #that she has to eat souls. tear them out one by one. you have to imagine that lucifer once saw her devour whole galaxies on a whim. #back when everything was moving in constant flux between destruction and creation. you have to imagine. #what is it to see her like this. is it pitiable. awful. comforting because she can’t hurt him right now and if he struck first maybe she #never could? #would he think about this moment this experience later when he’s made human. when he experiences a similar powerlessness. #anyway. lucifer gets out of the cage and trashes crowley’s place to kidnap his aunt-who-is-baby-right-now #u know me i love when characters go on the run together. what a weird little bond they’d form. #how do you overcome the anger at someone who helped cage you for eternity? does it help to know he didn’t escape your fate just because he #helped seal it when it was you? do you think they trade cage stories. #do you think lucifer tells her about how michael is still trapped in there and when he goes quiet. it’s not him who says he’s glad michael #knows what it’s like. it’s amara who says it. with an anger older than time. bitter enough to sting. #arms curled around herself because she’s hungry now. always hungry. tries not to think about what lucifer would taste like. (powerful) #sitting on a bench together watching people (souls. meals.) walk by. talking about prisons. talking about justice. maybe. or revenge. same #thing. and amara is leaning against him coiled tight through every muscle in her body and so so hungry. and when she says she’s glad michael #is suffering she isn’t really talking about him. but when she says it. lucifer lets out a breath. and says. me too. #and then he goes to find her something(one) to eat. #u see my vision. u do.

[aphel1on]

"i am going to write a fix-it"

7k in my pov character is attempting suicide

#this has happened. more than once. #listen sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can go up #suicide cw #'babe are u ok uve written characters trying to kill themselves multiple times in the last year' #no i am not thank you for asking! but im outsourcing all my breakdowns to fictional characters so it's gucci #no to be honest tho it is not as drastic as that potentially makes it sound #when i am going thru a rougher patch of mental health #i DO end up writing more 'darkfic' or whatever #where my characters are going thru it even worse than i am #and honestly its just cathartic. and helps me process things #and most of the time i even DO get to the comfort part of the hurt/comfort eventually #which is like a big psychic hug or blanket draped around my shoulders #so anyway #aphelion.txt #writing #fanfic

[swordmaid]

sza open arms but it’s shri’iia’s relationship with lolth specifically this part

#please put a leash on me anyway….. who needs self esteem anyway…………………….!!!!!!! #the way I treat her relationship with lolth (and her matriarch bc she projects lolth on her) and her Oath is like this toxic abusive #relationship where she is So copedent on the other and she wants to Please and follow them so badly that she disregards her own self sm #like to the point where her own sense of self/individuality is so divorced from herself bc she just thinks that she’s Made to follow this #oath and her body is a tool for them to use so she doesn’t really care what they do with it bc as long as she’s following her oath she’s #content. since to her her oath is literally everything you know and it just so happens that her oath is centered around following her #goddess and her matriarch.. like the option to Not Follow them was so unfathomable that when she actually does it it’s out of her own will #and when she bears the brunt of that consequence she doesn’t know what comes next bc she never knew she could do That u know …. #anyway I think conceptualising her relationship with her faith in that way is interesting to me since I read somewhere not sure if it’s #canon or what but lolth’s relationship with the drows is an allegory for domestic abuse so like… it tracks #also the thing with shri’iia is that she doesn’t see herself as a victim bc she was the one who swore up on that oath u know #so for her everything else that followed and the way she was treated is basically like well this is what u we’re getting into 🤷‍♀️ #but it’s also like she didn’t even know there were other options considering her society is just one big lolth cult and then there’s the #drow victim blaming mentality that’s def ingrained on her #like I could see her understanding someone else’s pain and struggles and trying to offer some form of comfort #but if it comes to her she’ll just be confused on why they feel bad bc she signed up for it 🥲😩😔 #parts of the things she’s def unlearning now that shes stuck in the surface lol

[thesunoosshining]

shout out is like. The Best Friends Song Ever to me. THAT SOUNDS NOT THE WAY I WANT IT TO BUT LIKE ?? idk how to explain it. but it reminds me of my friends SO badly. just like. us yelling and laughing maniacally over nothing and yelling about k-pop idols and playing those like "pick one drop one" k-pop games on youtube. maybe this is too specific but like ??? i just had to share this info with y'all !

#⭐️; star talks #ok maybe. i just love my friends #ramble about them incoming #but i just love them so badly i've never met people i feel so comfy around #and we disagree and shit sure but we've never had Big Fights that we didn't resolve #i can talk abt anything with them. i can be super cringe and unmasked adhd moment and like #they still love me !! and i love them ! even when they do dumb things #i just love them so badly. i can actually Be Myself w them for real? #idk how to explain it like my old friend group? yeah i loved them but honestly some of them always had me like “ugh” bc they were like #clearly homophobic or just talked about people weirdly #BUT?? MY CURRENT FRIENDS?? oh i love them so bad #enough that i literally made my smau ocs based off them. and i showed my irl best friend my riki smau #and told another one of them about the smau. but tbh she didnt rlly get it el oh el (shes not chronically online like i am) #BUT LIKE? filters dont exist im genuinely so comfortable around these girls #will i show them this? no but i hope they know bc i do voice my affection for them enough 🫶 and hopefully thru my actions #my girls fr! i love them #anyways if u actually read all that ty for reading 😭 if u dont have that group of friends you feel That Way towards. keep holding on bc #i never thought i'd have these girls either. but i do! #your people are out there somewhere 🫶

[pepprs]

ok mutuals i know this is cringe i am so aware and i am so sorry. but this is my…………………… warrior cat oc who represents me (i am so so so so sorry. i am so sorry.) and im doing some tweaks to her design rn and i can’t decide whether she looks better with or without this like spiky cheek fluff that’s supposed to make her face look more starlike. so what do u think. vote now on ur phones (without fluff on the left, with fluff on the right)

#my art #i have been doodling this silly little cat all over the place for almost 10 yrs btw. and i VERY much suffer from same face syndrome with #both cats and ppl and ive been trying to add like unique variations and stuff when i draw but it’s rly hard. (also ive been getting back in #into drawing if u couldn’t tell. i straight up stopped when i was in college bc i just couldn’t function and this was not the thing i #thought i would come back to once i got out of school but here i am swimming in warrior cats stuff again at age 23 💀💀💀) BUT ANYWAYS. i am #adding butterfly and star motifs to this character who is also me. like u can see her ears are kinda wobbly bc they’re supposed to be shape #like butterfly wings! but the star thing isn’t as evident so I thought maybe the cheek fluff would be nice but then it’s like.. the ear #wobble is already a change and im just worried i will forget the cheek fluff when i doodle her and stuff. ive been rly lenient w how i draw #fluff on cats and stuff and i want to get better at it but i feel like i’ll annoy myself if i mess around w it. but it looks good and is #symbolic so idk 😭 ofc like i would be the best judge of this bc I know what my comfort level is and stuff but … do u like the fluff is what #im asking i guess. and do u think i should carry it forward and make it a thing even if it takes a while to get used to #purrs #i feel so cringe posting my warrior cats characters but idk. it’s my blog i get to post whatever i want so this is what im posting 🤸🏻‍♀️ #ALSO plus when i doodle i already majorly simplify her markings so it’s just the freckles. and the markings im whatever about but i feel #like the physicality is really important smth i would always capture no matter how intense the drawing is and smth i kinda want to #challenge myself to get better / more consistent at a little bit. so yeah. idk #pepe

[speedyowl152]

I asked for an animal plushie for Christmas based off of a familiar in a fanfiction I adore. I did not get it. However! I got an Appa plush and he's sooo soft. Also. I got a blue/peach moonstone kwagatama and some rope and bits to turn it into a necklace and I asked for just the stone like 6 months ago for my birthday for my félix cosplay but! With the blue colour and black leather like rope it would also double as the magical focus that blorbo from the fanfiction wears at all times. By complete coincidence. Love when u obtain an item that can fit with multiple characters, never taking this off.

Hope everyone else is having a happy holidays too!

#was looking online for crystal necklaces and celtic symbols yesterday bc i was so sure i wouldnt be getting something like it #i also at long last have danny phantom a glitch in time! i can finally experience new physical content woooo #so mayhems focus ends up on a silver chain with a silver charm after the second book but in the first hes got it on a leather band sooo #also it being moonstone means its got the blue tones and when u hold it to light it glows around the impurities within which. 👌👌👌 #ancient and magical and mystical and elemental To Me. #both felix and mayhem would wear it under their shirts n that is comforting tbh #also the fact that its kwagatama shaped means its half a ying-yang symbol which is so mayhem vibes even if his crystal is raw idc #he's thought about carving it aleady. this is a valid interpretation. #mehen i shall ask for you for next birthday and based on current trends i'll have him in a year lmao #owly rambles #own post #fic: wga(ca) #what if i looked into finding a bracelet with 3 ravens. what then. #blorbo: mayhem #blorbo: félix graham de vanilly