#might delete later if i dont forget

[neo-shitty]

flirting is such a big no no for me so when i see mutuals having playful exchanges i just 😟🚩🚨

#and that my friends is how i discovered that i may be aromantic to an extent but not entirely #something about playful flirting of any nature just makes me want to 🏃🏻‍♀️💨 #i just get super awkward and weirded out #disgusted even if it comes from men jsjdh #i think that explains the lack of flirting in my fics bc i cant flirt for the love of me #my love language is literally bullying /hj #AGGRESSIVE AFFECTION #i wish i had someone to talk abt this with but they always just mistake it for ‘the right person hasn’t arrived yet’ #YEAH NO SHIT BC NO ONE GETS PAST THE FIRST FIFTY CHECKPOINTS I HAVE #i get so irked by the thought of someone being affected by my actions #or maybe thats just my insecurities making me feel i dont deserve the love and affection i get #but for now thats it #i remember a mutual once calling me by endearing names and i have never been more uncomfortable but also unsure on how to react 💀 #just a dump #might delete later if i dont forget #toff.txt

[kittypancake]

An au where the turtles can die and reset like a video game, and they remember everything.

#idea so i dont forget #au idea #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leo #rottmnt raph #rottmnt leonardo #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt michelangelo #rottmnt raphael #rottmnt au #might delete later #does anyone read these? #secret message #hello

[justewil]

ok something i find really funny about last night/this morning is when i started feeling sad i looked through my luke and des tag .because it usually makes me feel better but it didn't and that's what made me realise something might be Wrong ^_^

#im ok now ^_^ #is this worded weird .does this make sense #this .might not be funny to anyone else I dont Know #still dont quite know what happened but we ball ^_^ #it definitely wasnt just .me feelimg sad i just dont know how to describe it better #talks #delete later #<- maybe .probably .but im gonna keep the other posts i think .so i dont forget ^_^

[aenslem]

So i transferred to a new position, and honestly, i have the same feeling when everything goes way too well, and some shit gonna happen cos it can't be this good 🙃

I mean it is not a perfect place but it is good and the company cares about us and the work you do is noticed and it pays well. I should just be happy, and i am, but the tiny voice in my head tells me to expect something bad cos it is how things usually went before. Idk how to explain it better 😩

#text #therapy is the answer but i dont trust anyobody in this city so maybe online therapy but i dont trust people in general #to talk about personal things #i will also forget how to speak if you ask me a question #ugh 😩😩😩 #im just gonna gif or play dbh #might delete later

[trashmuis]

Sometimes when I see myself in the dim lighting of the bathroom at 3:30am, reflected in the dirty mirror, I realize I might actually have pretty features. It's crazy...

#idk. i never think im ugly or anything but sometimes i forget how others might see me as pretty #and when i see it even for a moment in myself i am surprised #so... i took this photo just now. because i can. it's stupid. i dont need to post this #and i might delete it later. but. for now. im just happy to post myself #the girl behind the slaughter #yeah im wearing a breaking bad shirt what of it #i gotta get ready for a convention in 3 hourssss i need to go back to sleep #im gonna be one tired Chop Top smh #me #my face #real quick btw do you think id look cute with bangs??? im considering it but idk

[backensicangel0647]

after discussing with qpp like philosophers, im thinking very much abt making a ramble blog (to anyone who cares)

(EDIT, twas in my q) @angeldigital92 hey... its here.. if you even care.... /j

#be quiet engel #another reason tbh is bc i outgrew instagram and i feel like posting there abt my insane shit just isnt the same #like for the very few who follow my priv insta is basically #ppl who im friends w who understand what im saying #ppl who are slightly if not older than me and rather watch actual shows then anime (anti me) #and then theres like. other gays who only fixate on “some” things and never like anythijg else other than THAT thing they like oh so much #insta is good if you have the right imgs i simply dont save imgs like that anymore + writing and placing txt kinda a nightmare #methought at least HERE i could write my shit put it in queue maybe and or post it and forget whatever i wrote #bc probably like. 3 ppl are gonna follow it #as my qpp said tho fr fr its very freeing and i knew that feeling when i was vent posting on insta and twitter and like #probably not gonna post vent but yk ill be goikg all crazy qnd stupid you just gotta understand me personally ig to understand my insanity #i might also delete this later or something idk ww

[maxaroniiiii]

doing so bad right now

#i wanna just stop existing #but i cant even post about it on here anymore cause now ppl follow me #i dont want to talk about it because i cant talk about anything well enough for it to matter #i want to atleast let my mom know but she hasnt responded to my texts and seemed angry yesterday so im too scared #my dad and sister are out of the question because my dad would probably make fun of me #and my problems arent as big as my sisters #id probably get in triuble because everyone else is at such a high point #and im 20 and still at my parrnts apartmenr #i dont have a job i have agoraphobia i need someone to explain simple instructions #im not even allowed to really acknowledge that i have mental issues #i want to delet later but ill probably forget #i feel awful even posting because if someone sees tbis they might get upset

[moenmomentsthemoe-en]

man . Everytime i get likes & reblogs on my oc/sona stuff i always get so shocked like. Wow....people actually see it.... AND like it?(i think). Crazy. Blasphemous. Phenomenal.

#moen thoughts #SORRY ITS JUST GENUINELY ASTONISHING TO ME #I dont look at notes for personal stuff cause i know that fandom stuff does better in general #and im fine with just creating for myself and friends because its so so fun and helps with healing #but finding out that people actually see it for a while....woaw../pos #Might Delete Later #(passes out and forgets to delete again)

[eggthew]

.

#joey dont look #i cant have this cat in my room anymore but i can't figure out how to have her not in my room #wveryone will suffer more if i shut her out #i think because i struggle to keep up with the kitty litter is making it worse and like we both forget to do it #i might just try to do it daily insteadnof this routine where we swap on and off #idknidk shes just always in my room and always at my door screaming i cant fucking hanflenit #i cant actually physically close my door without using something because its broken #and i want breadroll in my room so bad i cant shut her out. but if i want her in my room then i need a kitty litter in here #and i cant handle that in my room #egg talks #delete later

[pktv]

work wouldnt be so bad if i had some kind of a support system but i have literally no one to pick up my slack or take my side when customers start trying to intimidate me. fighting my boss on everything and watching him give in to them instead of helping me, his only employee who can truly maintain the store is really wearing me the fuck down and i havent been sleeping well for months now. i just want it all to stop. i am drowning

#negative #unqueue #delete later #no one puts contracts away or properly organizes anything or does lesson sign ups right i'm going insane #i am constantly cleaning up their messes and working around their mistakes or lack of communication #i need another job but i need this one now to support myself and it's draining me too much to start building up a way out of here #my phone alert is 'dont forget you're here forever' and while it was a joke before it might be too close for comfort

[mewrails]

i accidentally pulled like. the third all nighter of the year

#bleat #idk im a bit too emotional and its 5 am and i cant like. bother anyone #i cant sleep so i keep thinking about Traumas tm and im not that great! mentally! and then i noticed its been almost a year since last #timr i relapsed and sh and its gonna be like. over a year since the date i picked to yknow #end it all. a few years back now bc i was at a new low #rn im overall happy with my life pls dw im not gonna do anything to myself rn its just. its late and ive slept so little in this first #week of the year and im thinking back and my life is so different than it was and i really /really/ dont wanna go back #idk i might delete this later i might forget i wrote all this #i dont wanna worry yall either idk talking to the void of my own notes helps w this so yeah

[catboygirlboss]

i um. may have had a breakthrough (after a breakdown)

ive been trying so hard to figure out why i keep going through a never ending cycle of self inflicted suffering. the cycle being that i start feeling like garbage, then i start taking my meds regularly for a while, and i start feeling really good, and then i just. stop. i stop taking my meds for reasons i don’t even understand. and i think i understand now

i stop taking my meds because i feel, subconsciously, like i deserve to suffer for how i used to treat others. like im teaching myself a lesson by putting myself through the pain i inflicted on others

but i need to forgive myself. which is… hard. it was a long time ago, and ive grown. but how do i forgive myself for something that hurt someone else? it feels like forgiving myself is dismissing the pain i caused

i need therapy idk

#im not sure what the conclusion is here #i just wanted to write this down so i dont forget or something #might delete later idk

[androideql]

🪱 wurm

#every once in a while it kind of dawns on me that im not that good at the things i take pride in #and trying to stay proud becomes like running on shaky legs #in the sense that i will try because giving up would be admiting defeat #but all i can think about is stopping to get relief #it would be so easy to beat myself up because im not up to par #there's shame in movement and shame in wanting to admit to myself that maybe im not cut out for these things #but how could i dare think of stopping when everyone i look up to has gone through the same pain as me? #i dont want to think of myself as weak minded #so i keep at it #and i do my best to forget how easy it was not to be seen and compared #and i try to forget how much easier it was to see no one other than myself #because the smallness of that world was the biggest blow i ever dealt to myself and the biggest weakness i let grow #and maybe my biggest pride in the end is the care i put into not making the same mistakes again #so in the end it's a matter or remembering that im enduring a smaller pain to avoid a greater one #anyway im actually doing fine im just... #feeling a little introspective? #big scares tend to amplify that #i might delete this later after ive slept

[chrliekclly]

if you ever want to talk about your thoughts on joyce .. Peeks over the corner of your blog. i love talking and hearing ppls thoughts on joyce sooo much even if they're different from my own!! and your analysis and stuff is always so well thought out

i hope u dont mind if i answer this publicly to take advantage of th request nd get my ideas out ther (also tyvm im happy u like my insane takes on these idiots, iv ben thinking abt them for almost 10 years)

i said a lot here so gnna 'read more' it

iv ben building trans charlie n my head fr, like i said, nearly 10 years. i used to view him as cis bcuz i always try to take as much frm th source material as i can wen i craft my HCs nd i had v personal (stupid) hangups insofar as him explicitly referring to his junk multiple times nd bottom surgery simply not being on my radar as a naive littl trans idiot deep in th sauce tht transmen oftn fall into w phallo being viewed so so poorly

evn still i leaned towards transmasc charlie nd always lovd moments tht let me imagine, for a moment, it being true, like his discomfort w taking off his shirt [hundred dollar baby, charlie kelly: king of the rats, the gang exploits the mortgage crisis, young charlie and mac deleted scenes, etc etc etc], or bonnie yelling abt ppl stealing her "charlie-girl" [the waitress is getting married] which i lovd to see as her accidentally misgendering him while drunk off her ass.

having grown out of my phallo issues (nd if ur reading this and u still view phallo super poorly, please do some research and grow too), ive in recent years fully subscribed to transmasc/nb charlie, and view his timeline something like this:

baby -> elementary: charlie refers to himself as a boy, doesnt "come out," simply has no idea he's afab. bonnie lets him dress however he wants and refers to him as asked. when charlie gets confused about his genitals, bonnie says his dick will grow in later lol, makes charlie wear a dress in public restrooms and tells him its just a game

middle: puberty hits and charlie gets confused and scared. bonnie puts him on blockers w.o explaining them ("my mom used to vaccinate me like every month" [the gang gets quarantined]) charlie goes on content and oblivious. STP acquired because hes "a late bloomer" and his dicks still not growing in?? weird. confides this in mac once, but he doesn't understand.

high: charlie finally registers that he's trans after forgetting theres a health class 1 day and not being able to skip it. throws him for a loop a bit but he becomes actively invested in his goals. he gets to start T and wants to have surgeries. "what guy hasnt done some extensive research on his own genitalia?" [mac is a serial killer]

college (aged): able to surgically transition (ty medicare) and continues on with life as we kno him now

joyce, imo, fits neatly into these views.

as a transmasc nb who came out young nd prefers to be seen as just A Guy by strangers, i grew up v vehemently against anything girly that might get me misgendered, but th more i began to 'pass,' th more @ home n my body i felt, th more and more comfortable i am w femininity, th more i wdnt mind putting on a dress, as long as th general public wd see me as "a man in women's clothes." n my mind, i prescribe something not exactly th same but v similar to charlie.

i see charlie "i dont really identify" kelly as afab and nb. i see joyce as a "character" he originally created to distance himself from the dysphoria of putting on a dress as a young trans boy, but that became part of him as the hard lines he drew in the sand as a child became blurry with age and self acceptance. charlie's comfort with himself allows joyce to evolve into a more solid persona, one he enjoys embodying and allowing to become a permanent facet of who he is. he's ok with being referred to as either. they're both him.

so maybe joyce comes out a bit more outside of the bathroom now.

#ask #pariskim #charlie kelly #joyce kelly #ramblings #i hav lots of thoughts nd feelings nd smday ill draw out charlie's whole timeline th way iv ben meaning to #th same way charlie holds th gang togethr charlie holds my whole viewpoint of iasip togethr #i gave myself a headache writing this post i spent more time xplaining my years of tboy charlie thinking than joyce im sry lmao #but i do lov her

[skeleton-magic-guy]

i might delete this later

feedback is welcomeeee

Title: It's okay...

Transformers Au: Hand in hand together forever.

Blitzwing and Bumblebee are standing on the edge of a small cliff at the end of a forest. On Dinobot Island.

They overlook Detroit at night, the full moon letting light dance across the water... the city in the distance is glowing brightly.

Bumblebee throws a few glaces towards Blitzwing, who is standing motioless beside him. He seemed spaced out he had been like this since they arrived here a few hours ago.

Bumblebee knew the Decepticon was a silent type when his facial plate was blue and normally, he himself would fill the silence with chatter but... today, something felt different.

Blitzwing wasn't just silent. His battlemask was hiding his lower face and his armor was tightly pressed to his frame like he was stressed... his wings lowered like he was concerned about something...

he had stopped hiding his face around Bumblebee long ago just a couple months after they started meeting in secret.

So seeing the mask now back in place felt almost alien...

A few more minutes past with nothing happening between them, a gentle breeze rustling the forests' leafs.

Bumblebee couldn't take it anymore.

"Hey...Blitz" he asked quietly, now turning towards him.

Blitzwing seemed to unfreeze at the motion and looked down towards Bumblebee, but he stayed silent.

Bumblebee gave him a small smile. "Could you maybe kneel down for a minute"

The tripple changer tilted his head but kneeled, placing one servo on his left knee joint while leaning closer, bringing them almost face to face.

Bumblebees face lit up at that and he reached his servos out slowly, seeing that Blitzwings optics were still distant. He placed his servos on either side of the battlemask.

That seemed to do the trick.

Blitzwings wings flinched upwards his optics focused on Bee, his unoccupied servo twitched like he wanted to reach out for the servos placed on his armor.

Bee smilled warmly, seeing the recognition return to Blitzwings optics

"Hey..." Bee spoke quietly, seeing the others' optics become warm... but there was also a certain saddness there.

Bumblebee had seen it before...

"It's okay..." He continued speaking softly, hopping that all the warmth he felt would be audible in his voice.

"You are here... with me in our little safety bubble. " At that Blitzwing seem to perk up again this time his optic twitched probably a small smile beneath the masks brownish metall.

"and im not going anywhere...ok? We are here right now right here, im here for you...and" he looked of to the side fake pouting "its boring to talk to myself when i know you are driffting of" a small chuckle escaped Blitzwing muffled by the mask.

Slowly, two black and purple servos reached up, taking the yellow once into his. They were warm and comforting in the chili autumn air.

Blitzwing pulled Bees servos away from his face, letting the mask retract back beneath his chin, revealing the blue faceplate beneath. the sharp denta that made up his lips pulled up slightly, making Bees spark jump he probably turned blue blushing.

"Thank you, love..." he hummed, intertwing their servos even with the size difference they seem to perfectly fit into each other.

Bumblebee smiled, reveling his denta. before he let it turn into a soft smile as well.

"You dont have to tell me what's wrong Blitz..." he said, looking lovingly at the triple changer. "...just know that everything will be alright as long as we are together... ok?"

Blitzwing nodded. "How could i ever forget... with you at my side..."

They leaned they'r forheads togheter "... everything will 'bee' alright..."

Bumblebee gasped. " Was that-" he snorted, pulling back slightly, staring at the now black face plate. " That was terrible!"

Blitzwings random persona giggled " but honey beeee"

And so they laughed together... till sunrise...

Unown time

location battlefield: earth

Explosions and laser fier can be heard in the distance, a giant spacecraft above.

the grass is burned the forest in ashes....

Detroit is burning in the distance...

and in the far corners near a mountain, on dino bot illand...energon is spilled all over a cliff....at the end of a Forest.. a soft breeze fuels the fier as trees fall... and animal skater...

Two servos, one yellow broken twisted beyond recognition and one Black and purple almost pink from the amount of energon on it, dryed and crusted... they were intwined as the grass and ashes settled around them... forgotten and left to rust...

togheter forever...

#my thing #lore for the auuuu #i cant write #ufff #are they dead?? #then why are only their sevos left behind! #maybeee #nahhhh #transformers animated blitzwing #au #transformers animated #transformers au #transformers secret relationship #i suck at writing #no art #transformers storie #blitzwing and bumblebee #blitzwing x bumblebee #blitzbee #transformers #transformers fanfiction

[csuitebitches]

hello angel so this might be a really weird ask but i really really need some advice as a professional and like a friend of a sort. i work at a hotel. im just a server. its nice, not a five star but its good. some business men come in but its nothing like the books like people may think these days lol these men are like in their 40s-50s.

im into tech things and i met this 30-40 yo guy who runs a tech company. hes from the uk, i showed him around, he compliments me, we chat. i give him my linkedin. i meet him the next day at work and he asks for my number and i gave it. but i must be stupid for doing that because during our small talk, he started asking what places i like and if he can take me out to one of them. i asked if this was business or friendly and he said... "friendly. but ill let you know my intentions." this man got a son lol. and im 20. right now i really feel like i messed up and i feel really serious about privacy and i just gave my number out like that. but i dont want to ignore it if he texts me and he ends up coming to my work place as a regular. most of these guests are regulars.

im so sad but also scared. i was just trying to "network" like people say but all these men want to do is just be more than friends. im about to cryyyy lol bc i feel so ashamed of be carelessly giving my number out like that. i dont know what to do or how to feel, i was wondering if you can help me or give any of your thoughts?

first of all, there’s nothing for you to feel ashamed of. Yes, you shouldn’t have given your number out but hey I’ve been 20 and naive too. I’ve done exactly what you’ve done when I was younger and let me tell you, you’ll forget about it sooner or later.

Don’t reply to any of his messages immediately, don’t open them immediately, and don’t answer his calls. Give extremely formal, polite responses. Eventually, in a few days, stop replying altogether. Don’t block him just yet - give it a couple of weeks. Remove him from LinkedIn in a week or two - don’t block, just remove him as a connection.

if he follows up with you and asks about taking you to any place, be very polite and say : “thank you for the offer, but unfortunately I’ll have to decline it. Have a good evening!”

you dont owe anyone an explanation as to why you blocked/ deleted/ removed someone’s number/ why you don’t want to meet them. Always remember that. You don’t owe that justification to anyone but yourself.

if he keeps pestering you, that’s when you hit the block button without a second thought.

If you have a friend who you can confide in at work, do so but very discreetly. Don’t give out all the details, simply tell your friend that you found the vibe of this guy a little off, and if they could serve him instead of you if he comes back. Cover your bases but without exposing every tiny detail. The last thing you want is for this to be blown out of proportion.

and lastly. Don’t stress over it. Don’t cry over it, don’t feel terrible. You made a mistake and that’s fine, let’s move on. You’ve learned from this little episode that you should not cross any personal boundaries especially at work.

#Q/a