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cactusspatz · 2 years

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July recs

In July, I got all excited about Andor and read a bunch of Rogue One fic! Just in time for the show's premiere to get pushed back. *sigh* I've also got a handful of other Star Wars fic, plus one rec each for The Walking Dead and Miss Fisher.

ROGUE ONE

save that light by @bright-elen & @misskatieleigh (gen + Cassian/Bodhi)

Cassian realized that he was different when he was four years old. He looked up at his father, his whole world up until then, and said, “Why are they going to make the factory explode, Papá?”

His father swiped to a different article. “I’ve told you before not to sneak out of bed to watch the news holos, Cassian.”

It was only when they heard the noise echo off the mountains that his father looked up. Slowly, he turned and looked at Cassian.

For the first time that Cassian could remember, Papá was afraid.

In which Cassian is Force-sensitive, and some things do and don't change. Really interesting backstory choices in the first story, and a solid fix-it in the second.

where there's a desert by @islandbetweenrivers (Bodhi/Luke)

Bodhi is eleven when the Emperor dies, and the explosions start the same day.

Luke is six when the Emperor dies and Vader takes over. He doesn’t know what that means.

Bodhi's fourteen when the moisture farm next door is bought suddenly, sight unseen, by some offworlder family.

Fascinating AU where Luke grows up on Jedha and becomes a Guardian. Low on conflict, but a lovely coming-of-age story, a rich portrait of Jedha and her culture, and a sweet romance with a dash of galactic politics.

let it be tomorrow by @andromeda3116 (Jyn/Cassian)

When Saw left her behind, an old nightmare, the man in white, took his place; 80 hours of nonstop Imperial conditioning later, and to all appearances, the angry Partisan rebel Jyn Erso is replaced by a loyal, inoffensively-sweet young woman.

Three and a half years later, leaks begin to trickle out of Coruscant, hints of high command secrets, either a spanner in the works or a deadly trap. Another eighteen months pass before the Alliance decides to pursue the leak, the potential payoff being too great not to risk it, and send their most experienced spy to find the source and turn the leak into a flood.

And five years into the worst deep-cover operation she never wanted or prepared for, Jyn thinks, fucking finally.

Somewhat dark but awesome different-meeting, with lots of spy games and distrust, Jyn's seething fury & hurt and Cassian's fractured faith colliding in a wildly different context, and a great resolution.

PREQUELS/CLONE WARS

Smuggled In by @galateagalvanized (Cody/Obi-Wan)

“There’s no need for finesse," Cody said, and he felt his men sharpen, ready. "These cages were built to hold two-pound flying rodents, not 200-pound soldiers. See what will break.”

Or, Cody and some of the 212th get captured by smugglers, and nothing is quite what it seems to be.

Delightful snack of a story in which Obi-Wan cannot help but do things in the most dramatic way possible.

Right on Time by @elwenyere (Cody/Obi-Wan)

Cody had decided to walk Obi-Wan to his shuttle stop. And if the reason for prolonging their farewell wasn’t actually that Cody had “needed some fresh air,” but that he was still clinging to the chance that today - at long last - might be the day that something finally happened between them - well. That was between him and the Force.

Or, Cody and Obi-Wan finally go for it. And go for it and go for it and go for it.

I loooved this! A funny premise (Obi-Wan keeps delaying his return to have more sex with Cody, smart man) matched with just the right balance of first-time passion and long-delayed tenderness.

Plot Twist by orphan_account (Obi-Wan/Anakin/Padme)

The supposed love triangle between Mr. Skywalker, Ms. Amidala, and Mr. Kenobi is all their students (and even their fellow teachers) can talk about. The only thing is, no one at Coruscant High School can figure out exactly which of them are together.

Extremely fluffy, cute, and fun modern AU.

OTHER

(The Walking Dead, Daryl/Jesus) The Prison Break by CanonCannon

Jesus is taken to the Sanctuary with just the clothes on his back, his bandana, and the paper clips he keeps sewn into the waistband of his pants.

It should be enough.

I cut off my interest in TWD at the point where they killed Glenn because fuck that - but apparently I make small exceptions for competence porn like this, in which Jesus rescues Daryl shortly after he's taken hostage by the Saviors. Wherein people make dubious choices while traumatized but it all turns out okay, Daryl has something nice happen for once in his life, and Negan gets murked like he fucking deserves.

(Miss Fisher, Phryne/Jack) there's something wild about you, child by laiqualaurelote

The woman in the bathroom is not human.

Jack doesn’t know exactly how he knows this. Something about her makes the air sing cut-glass clear, makes him feel like he is falling into a deep pit even though his feet are on solid ground. He has known this feeling all his life; it is what his grandmother taught him words for through her stories, why he still carries a dagger of cold iron up his sleeve. This is not the first time he has met the Folk. But he has never had one trespass on his crime scene.

Wonderfully eerie retelling of the show's opening, with Phryne as one of the fae.

#let's not talk about how late this is #shhh #monthly recs #star wars #rogue one #jyn/cassian #cassian/bodhi #bodhi/luke #the walking dead #daryl/jesus #miss fisher #phryne/jack #fic rec #cody/obi-wan #codywan

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fallsouthwinter · 2 years

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I was tagged by @maawi1253 to list ten songs I love by ten different artists

Girl's Not Grey - AFI

Hunting High and Low - Stratovarius

MINE - Kim Jaejoong

Kyousoukyoku ~Cruel Crucible~ - Phantasmagoria

This Boy's In Love - The Presets

Fiction (Dreams In Digital) - Orgy

Unwanted Love - Aaron Yan

Anointed - Blaqk Audio

Instant Crush - Daft Punk

Juliette - SHINee

I'm tagging @wingedbears @thesynysterunknown @youandthemountains @notfromcold @gaykey @devil-taemin @semisweetshadow @shineedragons @misskatieleigh

#music #about me #tagging game

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benjaycaptain · 14 days

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im just curious so feel free to ignore, but what's some of your favorite fics from any fandom?

uhhhhh, so lots of my favorite fic are no longer found online [or at least their original sites are no longer around; i haven't actually looked around to see if they've been posted elsewhere] and i don't feel comfortable sharing them in the off chance they are Really deleted buuut here's a few that jumped out of my head at the question tho is in no way a complete list lmao

Granted by druxykexy gotham tv series jim/os [mind control noncon with unrequited feelings]

The Things Dreams Birth by estelraca rogue one centers around k-2so and cassian from the time cassian first reprograms k-2 to post movie [rogue one lives] with cassian/bodhi near the end

Celestial Mechanics by Bright_Thorn, misskatieleigh rogue one this one is cassian/k-2so/bodhi getting together and working out being an ot3

These Inconvenient Fireworks by amberography star trek aos kirk/bones jim discovers a kink bones has

A Love Song Stuck in My Throat by Cinaed book of life ot3 getting together post movie

Everything's Coming Up Flowers by thismagichour critical role campaign two fjord/caleb with background fjord/jester [special mention to this being the fic that made me realize i fucking love hanahaki disease lmao]

The first eight don't count by storm_petrel the losers cougar/jensen jensen has a special talent [he can transform into a cat, unbeknown to the others]

Too Much, Too Little by Samtree the witcher geralt/jaskier ace!geralt pushes himself in hopes of getting what he desires; it hardly works [mainly for geralt because Ouch; jaskier is probably hit or miss lmao]

Right of Conquest by khaleesisophie hp sshp dubcon both are fucked up and into it in each other [this has apparently gained a sequel since i last read it but i can't speak on that lol not that it matters cause i'm pretty sure the fact that i'm even putting this on the list will get me cancelled even more than i probably already am but what can i say i loved fucked up fic even tho this one is very tame compared to my usual reads]

#Anonymous #shippy speaks #okay now i need to go to bed cause i have to be a professional adult tomorrow orz #i'm shit at creating rec lists but you asked for MY favs not which ones i think others should read so i was able to compile this little bit #otherwise i would have answered that i truly do not know what to rec because that's subjective as hell #and again most of my reads are Fucked Up with insane dddne tags so i wouldn't rec anything anyway lmao

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waggle100 · 1 year

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Jeremy fishing in a tournament. Can't stop being competitive for a second can he. Thanks for the scoop @misskatieleigh

#swayman sighting #patented smiley swaybaby

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polyrecsdaily · 1 year

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sniperpilot-prompts · 5 years

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a BIG BEAUTIFUL valentine to the misskatieleigh for not only being an all-around awesome person and excellent writer but whose This Year/On My Own Too Long series is one of my absolute faves and is a modern au that serves as an example of just HOW TO modern au. :D

@misskatieleigh | AO3

#misskatieleigh #sp valentine #Anonymous

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writinredhead · 6 years

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This is a little birthday present for the wonderful @misskatieleigh. A very happy birthday to you, dear!!! ❤

Since we talked about an AU that had Ash and Bodhi meeting, I came up with some headcanons about these two nervous space cinnamon rolls for you :D

It’s probably the greatest coincidence in the universe(s) that they both manage to pass through the anomaly at the same moment.

It’s not that they just switch places as one might think after reading too many holo novels. It’s different than that.

At first, everything is normal. Nothing out of the ordinary. Bodhi is on a cargo run to get supplies to an Alliance outpost, while one universe over, Ash is kept busy by dramatic captains and hyperactive cadets.

Then the next morning comes and Ash wakes up in the wrong bunk.

Instead of neat and clean and orderly Starfleet furnishings, it’s all old and thrice fixed and utterly messy. And it’s a shuttle, not the Discovery.

He isn’t sure who is more surprised. Him, as he stumbles into the cockpit to see where the fuck he ended up?? Or the man sitting at the control panel and just staring at Ash with his large eyes. The man does not wear a Starfleet uniform, nor the emblem of any other organization or planet known to Ash.

For a few minutes it’s all Where am I and who the heck are you? - No, who are you? And how did you get on my shuttle? Stars, what is going on here??

It takes a lot technical babble, intense brooding over constellation maps and a good many equations and believe in conspiracy theories about parallel universes for them to figure out what’s happening.

Namely, that the anomaly must have altered them in ways that now allow them to cross from one universe into another.

Their assumptions are proven correct when the next day it’s Bodhi opening his eyes to a bed inside a quarter he has surely never been in before.

When he pokes his head through the sliding doors, it takes less than half a minute until he can see Ash come running toward him, an excited redhead in tow.

Bodhi and Ash share a heartfelt Fuck

From then on, it’s the same game everyday. They spend one day in Bodhi’s universe, the next in Ash’s and so on.

At first, it’s A PAIN waking up in a different universe every morning. And that’s putting it mildly. No more solo missions for either of them that go on for longer than a day, not to mention the countless times one of them has fallen out of bed since it’s suddenly facing a whole different direction than when they’d gone to sleep.

But after time they got used to it. And to each other.

Sharing such a unique and, honestly, weird as fuck experience tends to bring people together. It helps to find out they have quite a lot in common.

They both know how it is to suffer mental health problems, they know what it’s like to be caught in a prison inside your own head since both their lives took unexpected turns that changed them forever.

They both have flashbacks. They both have nightmares. In times like that, they’ll meet up at night before ‘The Moment’ at precisely 4:38 a.m. when it’s time to cross over and just talk. Not necessarily about what has come back to haunt them.

Some nights it’s about ships and shuttles, some nights about food, some nights about the planets they've been too. Just something that will take their minds off the past.

A favorite topic is something neither of them thought they’d ever have. Something that is very dear to them: That they found people they could belong to. They found family. They found friends.

Friends that have taken surprisingly well to the ‘A Day in My ‘Verse, A Day in Your ‘Verse’ situation.

When they’re both in Bodhi’s ‘verse, Ash and Cassian bond over weaponry. When those two talk, it’s all blasters and phasers and phasers and blasters. And Kay gets a sparkle in his optic sensors that fills Bodhi with A Worry.

When he’s aboard the discovery, Bodhi loves to stick around the engine room and marvel at the technology therein, much to Lt. Stamets displeasure. But he promise of a rare fungus only found in the ice caves of Hoth soon has him mollified.

Tilly is overjoyed to meet someone with the same fondness for technical gadgets than her and Bodhi thinks Tilly is awesome! So much fun to be around and she doesn’t always roll her eyes when he makes a truly awful great joke. Like certain other people do. Jyn shoots him a glare when he tells her, but laughs anyway.

Jyn, too, gets on surprisingly well with Ash during the times he is on the rebel base. Sometimes they’re sparring, teaching each other new hand-to-hand combat techniques, or they’re trying to out-bluff each other when it’s Ash, Bodhi, Jyn and Han indulging in a game of Sabacc.

Neither Bodhi or Ash knows for how long this whole thing will continue. Maybe it’s only for a few more months, maybe it’s years. Or maybe it’s forever.

But they know they’re not alone in it in either universe.

Maybe this whole thing isn’t all that bad.

#HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE #misskatieleigh #i'm so slow when it comes to writing lately so here are some headcanons #bodhi rook #ash tyler #fic im not writing XD #rogue one #star trek discovery #the crossover you didn't know you needed #al writes #headcanons

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semisweetshadow · 6 years

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In honor of beautiful @misskatieleigh here is a snippet of the fic I am working on for her as a gift. I really hope she likes it and I encourage everyone to go wish her a fabulous birthday!

♥ The as-yet-unnamed Knight!Bodhi AU. Bodhi/Jyn. Around 2k. (BETA’D BY SASSYSNOWPERSON WHO I LOVE AND FORGOT BEFORE) ♥

Chapter 1

The longer Lady Jyn Erso stands in the hall, the more furious she grows at the entire situation. The idea that she would be a peace offering, a bride. It was insulting for Krennic to ask. It was demeaning that her father had answered.

There was no way without sacrifice.

It was war if she denied him. Her life for thousands seemed a rare bargain for peace. She remembers the pain in her father's eyes as he read over Krennic’s cloying letter, the way his chin set into a firm line when he offered her the terrible choice. She swallowed her fury and accepted.

She would see this through and save her people, even if it killed her.

If she had anything to say about it, it surely would. She can’t dwell on that now though, forcing a placid expression on her face. Krennic is still miles away from her blade, not even man enough to cross their borders, awaiting Jyn as if she were a raven, unable to do anything but come when sent for.

If she didn’t need an escort she’d already be there by now, she thinks impatiently. She'd have raced off on their quickest thoroughbred to meet her fate. That wouldn’t have been ladylike though, she knows, sighing to hold back a scowl.

With a sudden sound the doors to the hall finally creak open, revealing the person they've been waiting for. One the queen's best knights, sent with haste from the capitol. A proper escort for her safe delivery. It was a favor to her father, one she should feel grateful for, but all the stranger’s presence does is make her feel on edge.

Jyn hardly has interest in her temporary safety, considering the dire fate that almost certainly awaits her. The journey would be her last taste at freedom before Krennic stripped her of her life in one way or another. She stares somewhere beyond the gaping citizens of the barony, fighting the caged feeling in her chest, keeping her face impassive.

Her father reaches out, taking her hand in a tender gesture. She squeezes back, sure it would be the last time.

The knight steps forward, going to his knee, wearing clean plate armor clearly meant for show. She fights the urge to roll her eyes, glancing down at his bowed head, his hair dark and curling down to his neck. His voice is steady when he speaks, smooth with the cadence of the North like a kindness.

“My lord, I am here at your humble service in the name of the queen,” he says, keeping his eyes lowered in deference as he makes the vow. Her father assents to his words with calm resignation despite the edge of grief, blatant to her ears only. She can’t stand to focus on the niceties that follow, the allowances for her travel as if she were cargo.

It isn’t until the knight stands that a swoop of bright recognition draws through her, like a bow snap. The boy she’d never thought to see again, blossomed into the man before her. Bodhi Rook looks through her with his unmistakable eyes, shared grief etched in the wide gaze she keeps moments past propriety. She ducks her head in a nod of greeting, if only for a chance to remember herself. To remember that, as much as she missed Bodhi, she’s still furious with him.

The old wound of him leaving flare and for a moment she doesn’t even speak for fear of cursing him out on the spot. It’s not until her father squeezes her hand again, urging her back into her role, that she can focus past it. “Sir Rook has traveled a long way,” he says carefully and quiet. “We owe him a great deal of gratitude.”

From his nonplussed manner, Jyn wonders if her father has known just who the Queensguard would send, if he’d set her up for this shock without a thought to her feelings. She buries her suspicion, for his stake still, knowing this is no time for such resentment. She forces a cordial smile.

“I thank you, Sir Rook,” she starts, though the title feels strange on her lips. “I would be much obliged for your escort.”

“I hope to serve you well, Honourable Lady.” Bodhi says, taking a step back.

He looks like a stranger. He’s taller and more stoic than she could have ever imagined him. The once gangly teen with a bright open face who would sneak into her room, to chatter about his day and trade stories, is nowhere to be seen in his countenance.

For an instant only does she let herself mourn, knowing nothing can take the years back.

She wonders if he’ll even care to reminisce, given the chance. Heaven knows they’ll have enough time for it on the long road to Scarif. The Citadel would take four days ride on horseback, possibly more if they forced her into a carriage for presentation’s sake. She prays for nothing as much as open sky.

The overwrought reception comes to a quiet end for all they’ve waited, her lady’s maids frittering about, gossiping about how strong and handsome Sir Rook seems as they follow Jyn back down the hall. She’s meant to gather any last personal effects she’s bothering to take. She can hardly stand to hear to them mooning on in stage whispers, as if he would forget his duty and sweep them off their feet suddenly. Jyn wishes her own fantasies were that simple.

She reaches her room and shuts the door behind her, pressing her back against it. Taking a deep breath as she memorizes the familiar sight, reciting a silent farewell to it. At the center sits the same wide bed where Bodhi would fall asleep with her, both too small to know better or to care. Her nursemaid would shoo him out in the morning, never cruel enough to get him in any kind of trouble over it. Jyn was so often a sullen child after her mother’s death, her taking a shine to anyone must have been a relief. Sometimes she wonders if that’s why her father took Bodhi in at all, for the sake of her having a friend.

Her father’s gentle but skittish new ward was the perfect confidant and playmate, someone she intended to keep forever. Fate hadn't permitted it.

They both outgrew childhood, adolescence pressing her into a more serious world. It was long trips to the capitol with father, summer visits to her cousins, new suitors calling with each year she remained unwed. Her father wouldn’t force her but she knew well enough to pretend, to give quiet consideration in the name of diplomacy.

No boy ever caught her eye or held her attention as much as Bodhi did. By the time she recognized what that meant, it was too late. She wondered if her father had too. Perhaps, that was the real reason he had sent her only friend away.

She can’t dwell on it now, there are bigger problems than lost possibilities. She takes but three things from the room; her mother’s necklace, a well-worn note, and the sharp dagger at her hip. The uncle who had gifted it to her is long gone, but his training lingers. Her father had never approved but had never stopped her, knowing the world too well.

There’s a soft knock at the door and she’s sure it will be another lady in waiting, trying their best to cheer Jyn before her looming nuptials. It isn’t though, it’s her father, looking as uncertain as she’s ever seen him. His eyes are red-rimmed but he’s not crying now, expression fading into something softer as she moves to let him in. He looks around her room as if he could find some place to hide her still.

“It’s nearly time,” he says, voice catching rough on his familiar accent. It’s the same soothing voice he’d use to lull her to sleep, reading from scientific journals, describing the forces of the natural world just as well as fairy stories. She’s long outgrown that now, and yet still she wants nothing more than to curl up in his arms and cling tight.

“I know,” she answers, just short of terse, wishing there were any way out of this that wouldn’t sacrifice too much.

He knows her too well for her to hide. His palm reaches out, tilting her head up so their eyes meet. His gaze begs a forgiveness she wishes she could muster. Still, she tries, falling short at the tightness in her throat.

“Papa,” her voice trembles and the hurt sound that escapes his throat is far worse than the silence.

“My stardust,” he breathes, drawing her into a hug. She folds in his arms, hands gripping the fabric of his tunic. She can bring her brave face to the world but for a moment that fades, she’s a child in her father’s arms and she’s scared.

She buries her face in his chest, along with her unbidden tears. She’s going to miss him more than anything else, for all the strain between them she can’t hold grudges now. He holds her tight and she revels in the safety while she can until another knock breaks them from the moment.

He steps back, taking a deep breath and swiping at the tear tracks beneath his eyes. She brushes a handkerchief over her own face, praying her distress is well disguised. She won’t have word getting to Krennic that she cried when she left.

Her father answers the door, tells the guard that Jyn will only be a moment. He lingers in the doorway, waiting for her, as she takes a final steadying breath. She returns to his side, her few possessions wrapped safe in a pouch strung to her gown. She’s ready to leave this behind. Her father looks her over, as if memorizing, and reaches for her hand.

“I’ll never be able to tell you how proud I am,” he says, making her heart ache all over again. “Or how much I hate that it has come to this.”

“I’ll try not to let you down,” is all she can muster, for all she wants to curse.

There’s nothing more to say, just the tight line of his lips, the tragic nod he gives her.

He walks her outside, clasping her hand in his as long as he can. When they reach the front steps she can see Bodhi waiting at the foot, holding the reins of a beautiful dark stallion. She doesn’t miss the way he reaches out to pat its muzzle, some gentleness left in him after all these years.

Her own horse is at the ready, packed up with her scant belongings in the saddlebag, held steady by the faithful stablehand who had always been kind to her. She walks down the steps and doesn’t falter, taking hold of the bridle with quiet thanks as she mounts the horse, not wanting to linger with long goodbyes.

Bodhi waits a moment longer and her father steps up to him, clasping Bodhi’s shoulder.

“You’ve grown up well,” she overhears, the first break of protocol between them. “I’m glad, glad it’s you at least.” Bodhi’s plain expression wavers, nerves showing like they used to for the briefest instant before he nods.

“I’ll protect her,” he promises. Jyn would resent it if there wasn’t such care in his voice.

Her father nods, stepping back to look her way again.

“Let’s make way then,” she says, unwilling to bare more vulnerability.

Bodhi doesn’t question it, mounting his own horse with well-practiced ease. They take off and Jyn only looks back once. Her father stands at the gate, and she offers him a final wave. He returns it, and she turns away, staring at the open horizon. Her fate at the end of this journey may be grim but she’ll meet it on her own terms, she thinks, starting toward it without regret.

#misskatieleigh #jyn/bodhi #rebelpilot #?#bodhi rook #jyn erso #my fic #fic #ahhh #Happy Birthday!#!!!#I Tried #i am queueing this and it's 3 am HI

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corelliaxdreaming · 6 years

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@misskatieleigh replied to your post “Y'all should just like send me Wedge crack pairings to try writing,...”

Since I just finished rebels, Wedge/Sabine/Ezra? (Post End or preferably)

Here you go - I don’t write much Rebels, so I hope it’s okay!

Title: A Long-Awaited Reunion Setting: canon, post Rebels finale Characters/Ships: Wedge Antilles/Sabine Wren/Ezra Bridger Rating: G Words: 932 Summary: Grinding his teeth, Wedge pulls out his datapad and looks at the short, simple message Sabine had sent for what must be the thousandth time in the last twelve hours: Found Ezra. Bringing him to Chandrila.

( A Long-Awaited Reunion )

(((Send me your Wedge crackships/rarepairs!)))

#misskatieleigh #reply #my fic

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hauntedfalcon · 6 years

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@misskatieleigh replied to your post “Dear all leggings manufacturers, I do not want leggings with a sheer...”

No, we just want a damn pocket big enough for a cell phone

It’s gotten so bad now that I have given up on this as a concept, and I will accept simply being able to fully cover my calves.

#misskatieleigh

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anamelesstraveler · 6 years

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shoulders

I can never do just one sentence of ANYTHING so here’s two paragraphs. [confetti]

This is from The Long Night - what was MEANT to be my longer fic for the winter event.

Bodhi flinches in his arms, and presses closer with an unhappy groan. His hands find their way around Cassian, palm pressing into the small of his back as Cassian drags himself up. He suppresses a shiver, and squints into the light as he turns the alarm off.

“Bodhi,” he beckons quietly. The sleeping pilot doesn’t answer - not that Cassian’s expecting him to. Cassian leans down, brushing hazy, nuzzling kisses over the side of Bodhi’s face and down over the curve of his shoulder. Over the bruises he sucked into Bodhi’s skin the night before.

Send me a word and I’ll give you the sentence a few lines from the WIP it appears in.

#SniperPilot #Bassian #CassianBodhi #get to know meme #misskatieleigh

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cynical-harlequin · 6 years

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"Why can't you just tell me the truth?" For droidcaptain please!

Oh wow so today I remembered I had a typo-riddled draft written on my phone at 3 am, so I went and polished it and hopefully turned it into something that doesn’t sound like written at 3 am (though it was edited at 1 am.)

Or read it here on AO3

Impossible Truths

He had known the day would come.

He had just hoped he would be given a little longer, yet as he stepped out of the U-Wing K-2 was waiting for him, his usual slouch replaced by an Imperial straightness to his stance which immediately told Cassian that he was in trouble.

He barely took the time to lead Cassian to a quieter part of the hangar, where they would have as much privacy as you could find anywhere on Yavin’s Massassi Base.

Then he rounded on him, optics too bright, his stance still too stiff for comfort.

“Why couldn’t you just tell me the truth, Cassian?”

Cassian opened his mouth, he waited for the words to come because they had never failed him before, because he had been trained to think of all the right things to say to talk himself out of trouble and he was far too desperate today not to use all the skills at his disposal.

And yet when it mattered most he couldn’t think of a single pleasant lie.

He snapped his mouth shut, staggered back half a step as if distance could buy him time. K-2’s optics still burned into him. “I…”

There should have been encouragement, he thought with almost hysterical desperation. Why wasn’t K-2 encouraging him? He was always so tender with Cassian when he couldn’t find the right words to voice his fears or his desires. He was so sweet. He was petty, at times downright mean to everyone else but he was so unbelievably sweet and tender with Cassian.

Now his optics just burned into him and he didn’t even try to bridge the distance between them.

Cassian felt his breath come harder, he had to fight to take sharp raspy breaths which were starting to feel suspiciously wet. “I didn’t lie. I…“ He struggled for excuses still and felt self-loathing choke him as he realized what he was doing. K-2 deserved so much better. “It isn’t what you think it is.”

That at least was true. K-2 would, as would any partner, suspect the conspicuous absences to be Cassian cheating on him, once he figured out that he had been lying about being sent on solo missions. Cassian had always known that would happen and that when it happened, he would have to keep up this new pretense to replace the old one.

It was better K-2 thought him unfaithful than the truth. He might hate him for the lie, but the truth would be so much worse.

“I guess I’m just not used to telling the truth,“ he forced out weakly.

There was a long, pointed silence, before K-2 said, “You promised you would.”

The wetness threatened to choke him. There was a coldness to K-2’s voice now. No. Not coldness. A bone-deep hurt – betrayal – which amounted to the same thing.

He didn’t need to run any strategical analyses to know how this would end. He knew. This was the price he had been willing to pay. He just didn’t know how to divert the path without diverting it onto a worse one. He barely felt his fingers anymore. He felt numb and breathing was becoming so hard.

He couldn’t stand to look at K-2 any longer.

“I did.“

He had. They had. It had been the one golden rule Cassian had sworn to honor the day he permitted himself to love K-2. He had truly believed he could. Just one rule. Don’t deceive him. Have one single thing in your life that was real. Just one. No lies, no half-truths, just all the frightening brutal honesty they were capable of. It has been so frightening.

They had been so happy.

He inhaled shakily. The wetness had crept up to his nose.

He held his breath for a moment. He knew he wouldn’t shatter in front of K-2. He was too good at deception. It was what he counted on today.

“I will always lie, Kay. It’s who I am.“

K-2 remained perfectly still, even his fans barely hummed anymore. “You are a terrible liar.“ He sounded so distant. As if he were berating someone he didn’t even like.

K-2 turned around walked away.

I know. You deserve better.

He didn’t say it out loud. If he did K-2 would stay. If he did, he would soften and eventually forgive him, and then he would start asking questions again. Questions which Cassian couldn’t afford to answer.

He watched K-2 leave and kept telling himself that the kindest thing he could do for him was to let him walk away.

With K-2 gone the hangar was deserted. Cassian remained rooted to the spot until bright dayshift illumination gave way to the dimmer light that indicated night cycles.

In the dim light, the hangar was full of shadows.

Cassian sank to the ground hidden in the shadows behind a stack of boxes, a little world separated from the rest of the hangar. He curled up, knees tucked close to his chest, head buried in his arms. Small shudders ran through his body, even now subtle so as not to give away more than need be.

The last time he had been curled up like this K-2 had found him with the blaster still in his hands and tears running down his face. It was the day Cassian had thrown caution to the wind and permitted himself to love.

The tears came slowly, it had been so long that he had almost forgotten how to let himself cry. They flowed faster after a while but still noiselessly. He had indeed forgotten how to cry without hiding his tears.

K-2 didn’t come.

#droidcaptain #misskatieleigh #droidcaptain fanfic #mine #stuff i made #fanfic #rogue one #ask prompt

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