#much less one with hand pain

[su-inverted-au]

This is definitely a health advice blog now—

JK, JK. But anyways, I can recommend the smaller Salonpas pain relieving patches for the pain. They’re really helpful when normal painkillers won’t work (like in my case where I have slightly bowed legs, so the bones grind a bit), and the little ones don’t have that slimy texture.

👀 yooooo i didn't even consider patches! thank you kind anon!

I'll definitely look into those. Nevermind the half dozen doctors I've gone to, I should have asked tumblr for chronic pain advice

#not tumblr giving better and freer advice than all my doctors #i even saw a hand specialist #two actually #they both acted like they'd never encountered an artist before #much less one with hand pain #oh boy the stories i could tell about the US health system #this year has been a trip #ooc #mun speaks #text post #ooc post #not art #anon

[todayisafridaynight]

i sprained my wrist but duty calls

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza series #yakuza 7 #yakuza like a dragon #masumi arakawa #ichiban kasuga #snap sketches #OW #i WAS inspod by my y7 gameplay last night but while i was watching this cutscene and going He's So Sugoi #i realized he DOES have a mole on his neck :) so i WASNT going crazy yay me !!!!!! #i tried drawing with one hand.. it was annoying this is awful #its not impossible it just takes so LONG plus im less willing to stress over details which. arguably good but I Dont Like It #THIS LIL THING TOOK A SOLID HOUR BYE LMAO #w/e it was worth exploring the option. its not impossible so i can just continue to practice off screen #pray my other wrist gets better so i dont take nine years to draw tho #'snap are your shortcuts really THAT important' YES #even if ive redone some shortcuts o be cnnected to my pen and tablet i dont have all my shortcuts #even then moving to click the buttons on my tablet takes about as much time as it would to click them on my keyboard #ok this is pain bye #hopefully i feel better soon i keep having thoughts i wanna share and i like to do so Without taking days on One post

[eyeballcommander]

soo...Commander Peepers. How's everything going? We haven't heard from you in a long while and I just wanted to check in to make sure you're alright

Bad. Not really feeling social.

#At least I can write and type now without excruciating pain #I'm telling ya- blasters aren't designed for handling recoil in that direction! #Especially if you- like me- hold it with two hands when you REALLY can't miss the shot! (Which put my arms in an awkward twisted position) #.....................................that stupid dollshit was worse #As in that BULLSHIT with treating me like a doll!!!!!!!!!!! #Oh I cannot WAIT to replace him!!!!! #I've already expanded my search by loosening the watchdog requirement #And since eyeclops USUALLY have at least a little magic potential #If they're not magical powerhouses (which are unfortunately almost mythical with their rarity) #I'm SURE someone who can take him down without being out of place here will contact me to arrange an interview any day now! #Ugggghhhh- the sooner the better #I'm willing to lower my standards further if I don't get any bites by the end of the year #Not only to rid this universe of HIM #But because I'm REALLY sick of this throwaway number's prank calls #normally I wouldn't mind them much #But it sucks to get your hopes up only for some stupid stock joke- y'know? #[[tbh I'm an engineering student and it's finals season so I've been online far less 😭]] #[[3 more days including this one....]] #[[btw Peepers was on bedrest during the end of my spring semester too]] #[[I'm glad me and Joey roleplayed this now because him being injured and depressed is a good way to explain his absence]] #[[he also gets reclusive and depressed when he's forced to stop working]] #[[Because Peepers is bipolar (type I) and he NEEDS that adrenaline/momentum to keep the mania part of it prominent]] #[[so that's another good reason he's not really online]]

[writhe]

my whole body hurts SO BAD

#my back hurts pretty bad. i can tune it out a little but not ignore it. i think this is making the rest of my spine really tense? and #shoulders too? and i’ve also been getting headaches almost every day #im still a little sick but it’s probably just gonna linger until i can rest which can’t happen for a few more days (i say this like #every week though no?) #hands and wrists are like. bad worse than usual #like both numb and painful and it’s taking a lot more focus to do things nimbly or not stop stuff #*drop stuff #ankles have kinda been sore i think just from walking so much which is manageable #but it’s hard with everything else rn. also i think i kinda pulled something yesterday because i almost hit it onto the concrete while #almost BIT IT not hit #walking at night #felt like a pull? but it was painless but then i ran across the street and a numbness shot up my leg #and it’s a little tingly today #i think i need to build some more core strength honestly #and get enough sleep more than one night per week #also probably more stretches for hands and wrists #ideally i’d also love to not be enormously stressed but i do not see this happening! #im actually less stressed this week but i think the months and months if not years have done their damage #also getting beat up for fun. which i think is objectively funny to layer over all this but yknow. i think that detracts from my overall #stress & doesn’t contribute to bad exhausting pain #(-:<

[bumblingbabooshka]

Father and Child

#Tuvok #trans Tuvok #//blood #Had this image in my head and couldn't get it out v_v #do /not/ tag this as f*tish art =_= #trans Tuvok has one child with his husband then meets T'Pel and the two of them immediately fall in love and start seeing one another #in secret (gasp!) then one day Tuvok shows up at T'Pel's home and challenges her husband for her hand in marriage (gasp!) #and T'Pel obviously wants Tuvok to wiiiin~ she shaves his head in the bathroom and doesn't even /look/ at her husband when the fight begins #Tuvok wins (of course) and the two live happily ever after~ #Sek is still the oldest - he's T'Pel's son and he becomes a big brother when Tuvok and T'Pel marry one another #Tuvok had one child and it went..................stressfully so he decided he didn't want to have any more biological children v_v #T'Pel was more than willing to get pregnant again bc Sek was such an easy pregnancy (and an easy baby...and an easy child...and-) #Tuvok is a house''wife'' and T'Pel is bad at housework so Tuvok offers (insists) on helping her since her husband complains #and at first T'Pel is very irritated by him bc he acts very high-and-mighty but she eventually gets to know him better and sees that he's #actually much less uptight than he seems...he's just frustrated by his life...and they fall in love <3 #they're both looked down on because T'Pel is a bit unorthodox and also from the country while Tuvok used to be very wild and is considered #strange even now...unsocial....but they understand one another <3 #Tuvok in this picture is holding Elieth in his hands and all the stress&pain is temporarily fading as he looks into his child's eyes #All of Tuvok's children were met with an unsmiling face and so much love they grew sleepy from it...like milk #bea art tag #Tuvok art #st voyager #st voyager art #trans star trek

[arolesbianism]

I’ve been thinking abt one of my older oni colonies and decided to doodle my first three dupes in that save

#keese draws #oxygen not included #but yeah these guys were my main scientist digger and rancher respectively #this was one of my actual spaced out style saves so ofc I chose the cold asteroid still #it was painful opening this save again to look at their traits as it was basically my first longer attempt #let’s just say I had no idea what I was doing and ran out of power literally everywhere #might do a rescue attempt on this save tbh sounds like a fun challenge #but yeah I actually have characterizations for most of the dupes in this save in my head they’re like semi ocs to me #they’re the ones I like to imagine fumbling about post olivia entering sleep mode #cause there’d be such a harsh contrast in how they’d all react and move forwards #burt in particular would take it rly hard mostly because he’s the only scientist #so everyone ends up looking to him for answers and help and he just doesn’t know how to provide any of it #he had already spent so long feeling overworked and under appreciated so this wouldn’t help at all #quinn on the other hand is generally more optimistic as they have gone through a lot of rough shit and made it out on the other side #so they see this as an obstacle they’ll all overcome and grow stronger from #they’re also just very used to being suddenly forced to say goodbye to people for potentially forever #harold was almost relieved by the whole event because it lead to a lot less activity in the neural chip network #which is in fact a big source of panic for most of the dupes but harold pretty much exclusively goes to like 3 rooms so he’s not as effected #he also just doesn’t like the noise of the hundreds of commands that he can’t even follow #he just manages the plants and the pips and sometimes helps with the cooking #he honestly really likes the freedom of figuring out what to do without instruction #as the pip farm he manages is very. well let’s just say pips tend to starve in there a lot #yknow thankfully I did give these guys a bunch of phones so at least they’d be able to still know what’s up with eachother still #still an uncomfortable feeling loosing that connection that you’ve been relying on for years

[gaystreetsmarts]

why did crowley's feet burn in the church but not in heaven?

#good omens spoilers #good omens #gomens #on one hand i can see it as him becoming less demonic? like maybe as he's detached himself from hell things like consecrated ground dont #hurt as much? but on the other hand like #theres no proof of that in any other instance #and aziraphale shows no sign of being less angelic #theres also possibly the idea that crowleys hiding pain #given that he goes about poisoning himself and walking through churches to save angels #hes quite self-sacrificing #i also now have the idea of him before he has the plan for the holy water involving shadwell and stuff #of him trying to slowly like #acclimatize himself in walking on consecrated ground #like walking around the edges of holy sites and trying to force himself through the pain so that he can one day go in a church himself #and get the holy water himself #OR alternatively not for the holy water #but in the rare event he may have to rescue aziraphale again #('rare') #perhaps from a church or even heaven #idk

[pastel-rights]

And then I finally end it off with some doodles of them… they make me feel things.

#ringmaster doodles #sona art #( they’re very much the theme of. love in the face of the neverending march of time. ) #( being immortal and knowing you will outlive the man you love because someone else deemed he unworthy of eternal life. ) #( he may still have tens of thousands of years left. sure. but you know that those will go by and he’ll disappear in the blink of an eye. ) #( and you’ll sit there on his death bed. wondering why did things end up like this? ) #( wondering what you did wrong. and if you could have done something different. you’ll always ask yourself. ) #( if he lives a life of happiness and comfort or did he live a life as gruesome and miserable as the wars on earth? but you won’t know. ) #( and the more you think about it. the more you realize it. how nihilistic he was. and how he never seemed to smile even in the good times. #he always seemed to have a frown or a scowl on his face. he always seems bothered and unhappy. ) #( so you wonder if it was something you did. because you know you aren’t perfect. you’re hardly good. ) #( you wonder if he’s mad at you. maybe he was. but he doesn’t have the heart to stay mad. ) #( and that’s love in the face of adversity. knowing that no matter how bad it gets. he loves you as you love him. ) #( and you wonder why he never smiles. because he truly never does. and so you ask him. honest and true. ) #( and he tells you there isn’t anything worth smiling for. nothing in this whole world. ) #( but he smiles at you. it’s always small. and it’s always brief. ) #( but that smile. that smile means love. ) #( that hug. as flimsy as it may be. that hug means love. ) #( of course. he isn’t affectionate. if anything. he detests it. he hates physical contact of any kind. you’ve noticed. ) #( which is a shame. you love your hugs and your kisses and your hand holding. ) #( but even if he doesn’t like it. he lets you do it. because it makes you happy. ) #( and you learn that when you’re happy. he’s a little less miserable. ) #( of course. not all love is equal. and not all love is fair. ) #( the love from a lover and the love from the father can never equate to one another. ) #( no one will love you in the same way a father or mother loves you. in the same manner. no one will ever love you the way I do. ) #( because my love will remain with you. long after I disappear. ) #( and as bitter as the idea of my own existence coming to an end is. knowing I did all of this for. essentially nothing. ) #( that I’ve gone through all this pain and suffering and hardship just for it to all amount to nothing. for it to be fucking useless to try. #I get to die knowing that you’ll always love and be loved. and that’s enough for me… ) #( … maybe there is something worth smiling for after all. )

[brittlebutch]

i love how Blunt TOS is with its editing actually. i Love that whenever the show wants to express that Something Is Wrong it will use an obnoxious scary sound effect and scary lighting And scary music And hamfisted acting to let you know that Something Is Wrong. no ambiguity. autism.tv — beautiful <3

#N posts stuff #watching The Naked Time again & i love the rattlesnake sfx every time one character touches another or looks at their hands confusedly #sometimes it Is a little overwhelming like sometimes the exaggerated facial expressions are like Painful to look at in an autistic way #not like secondhand embarrassment or something but like the Muchness of the face is overstimulating #but i still like it a lot. i also love how slowly and deliberately the characters talk #huge swathes of silence scattered all over the place; long shots where no one says a word ; i love it so much #i tried to watch a few eps of snw and didn’t like it as much like it’s the same characters in theory but they all talk too fast #like at some point it became less a quirk of the era and more of a tangible character trait you know? lol

[toomuchdickfort]

Vent abt smth that gets on my Nerves

#tried bringing up to mom like. hey how could I bring up coming out to family. and she was like visibly uncomfortable so I was like dw I’m no #gonna like try to ruin Christmas with it or some shit I’m just. nervous u see. and I’m sat there anxiety rambling abt it because oh my god. #and she pulls out the fucking. ‘can’t you just be a person?’ mom I am a person already. the problem is. the PROBLEM IS. EVERYONE THINKS I AM #AND THUS TREATS ME AS A GIRL. like oh my god. #vent #it’s not a huge vent like if it comes up I’m not gonna Lie moms discomfort abt the matter be damned. #but like. ‘can’t you just be a person’ is what she says every fucking time it comes up. like mom. mother. mi madre. do you realize how much #of an insult that feels like when you say it EVERY TIME I bring up trans anxieties. or dysphoria. or any of the ways my transness affects my #life. like being trans doesn’t make me less of a person oh my god. but also frankly I don’t have the patience to be nice about getting into #things and I don’t have the heart to hurt her about it and even if I did have one of those I don’t have the patience to hold her hand #through all this shit. like I gave up having mom on this journey ages ago do you know how painful it is to un-give up on something that #immense. it’s hard and it hurts and it burns and it’s like. giving up to begin with didn’t hurt too bad- it’s cutting off the festering #wound. but. but then. you find out that. you can in fact work with that. and suddenly you have to try and clean the wound. care for it and #wrap it and do it all over again. and god it hurts. and. I’m not entirely sure I want to un-give up all the way on this? it’s. a lot #like I get and I appreciate that she’s trying to do. something. in theory at least. she avoids the subject when I bring it up and all but #cringed when I brought up coming out to her side of the family. she calls me my deadname and her daughter more than she did before she said #she would try. and I don’t have the energy to uncover that wound enough to start cleaning it. I’m just letting it sit there because frankly #it’ll be such a huge thing because it’s Always a huge thing when I don’t let the subject drop mega fast and I’m. I know she’s not gonna cut #me off for just being trans but GOD I want to keep ONE of my parents in my fucking life when I’m able to stand on my own two feet holy shit #and. man. it appears this is. still more of a thing than I thought it was. thats. annoying and inconvenient

[tj-crochets]

Weirdly specific medical question for y’all! Do you have any advice for dealing with vasovagal syncope/a vasovagal response? I’m very familiar with low blood pressure in general*, but something about minor injuries to my hands drops my blood pressure like nothing else and today’s the first time I’ve put two and two together that it’s probably vasovagal syncope. I accidentally hit my hand against the fridge (but successfully caught the falling tube of dough!) and then had to lay down on the floor and put my feet up against the wall for a while because I got so dizzy. Walking into the kitchen and seeing me on the floor really alarmed my brother and my dad, so I’m wondering if there are any techniques I am unaware of that might help with vasovagal syncope other than laying down on the floor?  For the record, I am okay now. I was on the floor for a few minutes with my feet up, then gradually got up, went back to my desk, and had water and some salt pills. My dad and my brother both kept an eye on me until I was back at my desk, and I do have my phone with me at all times just for this kind of situation.  *I have several different weird medical issues that each separately can cause hypotension, and am on medication for it that mostly works.

#the person behind the yarn #tj asks weird medical questions #I have no idea why minor hand injuries are my 'this injury will make me pass out' trigger #more serious injuries (including more serious hand injuries!) don't. much worse pain doesn't #hell I've had anaphylactic reactions that stay further from passing out than minor injuries to my hands have me #I've only had two non-hand-injury-related times where I've had a similar level of dramatic almost passing out #and that was the two times I ended up in the hospital for severe allergic reactions #I do not understand why this gets me so much closer to passing out #so far I don't think I've ever actually passed out? #I've had some less than voluntary naps but I could feel myself falling asleep #...I did lose time that one time while taking my pulse so maybe then but idk if that counts #the stopwatch went from like 12 to like 30 with no in between

[dirt-str1der]

I dont care about majima x sagawa btw but i care a lot about their relationship regardless because i want them to have the most toxic dealings and skewed power dynamics with each other as possible and i them both to have increasingly warped perceptions of each other (worlds most incorrect uncle-nephew relationship)

#Listen to my problems #sagawas like majima chan i bought pudding for you since chewing is hard right now and majimas like (muffled) can you kill yourself . and #sagawa is like (laughs) keep up that tone and ill break your jaw again #like obviously sagawa isnt doing charity work putting majima back on his feet because majima has to pull his own weight too but over time #majima became less of an ‘investment’ and more like his hotheaded young apprentice / nephew who is really smart (sagawas very proud of him) #but also doesnt know anything good for himself because hes an idiot and sagawa needs to do everything for him sometimes or he’ll pull the #most ASININE stunts imaginable. like kid i do Good by you and you do the same for me as long as you keep your head down and run the grand. #he cannot fathom why majima wants to claw his way back into the tojo because sagawa Knows shimano and he Knows that shimano is bad news and #will definitely send majima into the jaws of death over and over and seriously what a WASTE of good talent !!! unfortunately majima is the #same type of stupid as his oath brother but it doesnt mean he wants to see the kid get himself killed (wise words from a man who got himself #killed) | and majima ... it was not difficult to start going crazy about sagawa at first sight because he just came out of a very violent #place where every touch meant more torture and pain then suddenly hes being put in the capable hands of a man whos like a fucking angel #sagawa feeds clothes and bathes him and majima cant help but act like being cared for is the worst thing thats ever happened to him theres #too much touching and hes completely dependent on sagawa who checks his weight daily and changes his bandages and cleans his leaky infected #eye and he wants nothing more than to be left alone but he cant do anything by himself and hes too devastated to be grateful. its gross !! #and whenever he inevitably breaks the hell down sagawa is always there to hold and comfort him and what the hell else can he do but seek #comfort in the only person that ‘cares’ about him when sagawa is so good at pretending ... is he pretending ? who gives a fuck anymore man #sagawas punishment and comfort all in one ... hes a means to an end .. hes majimas caretaker and his gaoler. the guy who knows everything #about him and the one who’ll use every last bit of it against him oh god wait #this is just isabelle and emma damnit damnit im gonna go read purromised neverland again

[seilon]

text them shit about ur ex then, ruin his rep right back

just talked to one of my friends on the phone for a while and dw they already know everything I have to say more or less about him it’s just. I can’t force them to cut contact with him or anything especially without sounding like exactly what he makes me out to be (manipulative, controlling, whatever) so. as much as my friend has reassured me in a lot of ways I’m still sort of stuck at an impasse when it comes to Him

#believe me I wish I could ruin him as much as he’s fucked with me but. yeah #my friends are all generally very… centrist in a way. some more than others of course but. yeah #they won’t take one side or the other as absolute which is good in a way but also painful #considering how much he’s done to fuck with me and my mental state and my friendships and etc #I told my friend over the phone ‘idk it’s hard to just be ok with my friends hanging out with the guy who literally haunts my Dreams’ #I am somewhat drunk now which is good. to me #I feel kind of bad for freaking that one friend out though he’s really the sweetest #and in a selfish way I’m worried I’ve just made myself come off as guilt trippy and whatever to my friends playing directly into my ex’s #image of me and etc #but I know logically that that’s. probably not the case. i am drunk so logic isn’t as strong as it usually is #kibumblabs #drunkish. drunk as I ever can get #I never get drunk enough to be totally incomprehensible or anything unfortunately #I just have less of a filter. as you can maybe tell #anyway back to cleaning the kitchen #I am glad I’m home alone #listening to punk breakup type songs loudly and yelling . because I can #EVERYBODY. PUT UP YOUR HANDS I DONT WANNA BE IN LOVE I DONT WANNA BE IN LOVE #FEELL THE BEAT NOW. IF YOU GOT NOTHIN LEFT SAY I DONY WANNA BE IN LOVE I DONT WANNA BE IN LOVE

[synonymroll648]

absolutely evil fic idea! sophitz soulmates au where post-war they reconcile but also find out that fitz won't make it to 100 due to the severity of his shadowflux echoes and the reason sophie kept surviving seemingly impossible odds was because the black swan 'accidentally' made her immortal.

to make things extra cruel: consider how fitz canonically counts on having thousands of years ahead of him to build himself a future he enjoys, and how sophie canonically struggles w/ the idea of living forever due to her human upbringing (plus the canon-compliant possibility of her hearing ten bajillion tales growing up of how immortality is a curse) :D

#i love love love soulmate au's. usually for the fluff. but this. this... #this intrigues me conceptually so much that i think exploring it would be worth the pain #i have way too many wips rn to write this. but #that doesn't mean i can't share it w/ you guys :) #i just keep thinking of how the tables of 'fitz comforting sophie about living forever because he'll be there' will flip #and it could flip in SO many ways #it could be sophie comforting fitz about death being inevitable because she grew up around death #and knows that death can be a well deserved (fairly) happy ending if fate is kind enough and you play your cards right #but it could also be them being so so so openly envious of each other's lifespans #like we could have a screaming match in the dead of night where fitz is like #how the FUCK is it fair that we both have echoes but I'M the only one that's doomed to die young because of them? how the HELL do you have #ANY right to speak on this? on how i should deal w/ having THOUSANDS OF YEARS RIPPED OUT OF MY HANDS? #and sophie's like well i don't know fitz! how the FUCK is it fair that you're the one that gets to have a finish line? how the HELL am i #supposed to be happy about NEVER getting to stop? about ALWAYS having to be the moonlark? about INEVITABLY LOSING EVERYONE I LOVE BECAUSE #THEY'LL BE DEAD? #honestly you could have both. you SHOULD have both. imo. hurt/comfort babyyyyy #also. if you want. you can have this be a thing where the immortal falls in love w/ the same soul again #but fitz never comes back as an elf. always something mortal #also when fitz dies. having a throwback to the search and having one of them go 'fuck time. fuck death. i'll find you again and again' #less 'death cannot do us apart' and more 'death can only separate us temporarily' #also. sophie having to watch fitz deteriorate from the golden boy she knew to barely hanging on to life. and fitz having to deal w/ #sophie never changing in any physical way #don't you love feeling sad guys? angsty if you will? /t #sophitz #sophie foster #fitz vacker #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc fic idea #sophitz fic idea

[goldensunset]

tch sometimes i regret making a zelda sideblog and moving stuff there but only bc now i’ve reached the point where i otherwise put all of my interests on one blog. with the sole exception of zelda. feels weird

#i first did that like 2 maybe 2.5 years ago and that’s bc back then this was a less fandom centric blog #i wasn’t posting about nearly as many things so i wanted to separate the few things i did like #now here i am with an entirely new set of interests yet zero shame this time about putting them together #peach rambles #like on the one hand my sideblog is so much better organized than this blog is #but it’s also a pain to run #i mostly only tag by franchise on here as opposed to the sideblog where i tag by specific game and character and post type #idk i tag twewy and ntwewy separately now but i also have a catchall tag for all twewy things #which i can handle doing bc there are only those two games #but kh… sometimes i kick myself for only having literally the one tag for it but separating by game is so… #there are a lot of them so… #and redoing it is so much effort #aughhh blog stuff is so much work. but i am committed to order and organization #if not for someone else browsing through then for my own self

[soldier-poet-king]

. Chompin at the bit today ...

#it's like. i hate (romantic) love. i love love. i cant survive without it. ill be fine alone #i need security and happiness. ive survived this long without them and don't deserve them anyway #i sm completely unhinged in every sense if the word. i am the most normal person on the planet and everyone else is wrong #bc they cant or wont feel things like i do #im the worst person alive. my hands are bloody. there's so much guilt. im so selfish and life is one long atonement for my very existence #im actually just human and deserving of the same compassion as everyone else. maybe more bc im just so fuckin fragile #i have to deny myself every comfort and desire bc it is morally correct #i have to deny myself because it is easier to deny myself than have the world deny it to me #pretend that it is my choice. easier never to ask then to be disappointed and let down and alone #i have to deny myself bc of guilt. it is righteous justice. it is punishment. it is misguided. all three maybe #so yeah. having A Time. had a full on breakdown at church and not in a good cathartic way #reminder reminder of the shire is saved but not for me #im multitudes and incomprehensible. im simple and stupid and plain. #i have too many emotions. i dint have enough. i should feel more. i should repress more #im just. off to stupid little crafts. read trc BC im already insane so whatever #work again. rinse wash repeat #gonna drive myself to exhaustion at the gym #not out of health desire. but brain desire. i need to be awake but unthinking. exhausted and pained for a righteous cause #anyway. ooops. so much for being reticient and repressed #i mean. irl sure. and this is only a fraction of it. i promise to be less in the future. its better for everyone #and I'm so tired of weakness