#my brain is full of sad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

just-me-venting-cause-life-sucks · 1 year

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Don't think about how humans are assholes to the very planet we live on and Gunpowder Tim probably didn't touch real grass before he went to some other planet with the rest of the crew.

Don't think about the confusion, shock, disbelief, and/or melancholy that Tim probably felt when he first saw 21st century Earth.

Don't think about Tim asking Jonny if "this really is Earth" because he generally doesn't recognize it.

Don't think about Tim laying in a field of real grass for hours on end, realizing that he missed out on having a true childhood (he probably doesn't remember his childhood, but that's not the point).

Just. Don't. Think.

#the mechanisms #gunpowder tim #what is sleep?#i don't know of this sleep you speak of #my brain is full of sad

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sad-leon · 7 months

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When your greif becomes so overpowering that you break shit, but now you're left empty and with just as much greif as you started with, if not more.

Anyways- guess who was listening to Lost One's Weeping again :D (it was me, i am so normal over that song)

#sad•leonart #really putting the sad in sad-leon #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise leo #rise leonardo #not gonna become an au #but imagine leo recoverying from the prison dimension.. down to one sword.. and full of angry greif #and he takes that greif out on physical objects and breaks his last sword #now he's down an arm.. down two swords.. and it feels like it was all for naught #i think i've been reading too many aftermath fics.. anways.. off to write an aftermath fic #oh yeah #i also just found rishie-p's miku v4x solid cover of lost ones weeping and it changed my brain chemistry /pos #i think i spelt grief wrong that entire time #oh well

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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happy mother's day lmfao

bonus (the girls are fightiiing):

#and thus eddie caused a category 5 neighborhood disaster bc he tried to flirt via sandwich questions #which is a totally valid way to flirt. Totally.#what's more romantic than being able to bring people their favorite sandwiches without having to ask #idk im not a romantic. almost wrote tomantic. i dont like tomatoes either #welcome home #scribble salad #welcome home fanart #welcome home puppet show #in all honesty during last night's festive breakdown i had the doodled Thought above #and scribbled it in my phone notes #it feels good to not only have an Idea but to also Get It Out #yaknow? i dont get that often #brain usually has half a thought then fizzles out and decides to go lay down for a full week #also here's a niche concept that is incredibly funny to me:#a neighbor swearing and wally immediately being like NO!!! THE RATINGS!!!!#he has to snipe them before they can get the full word out. how sad :'{#alsoX2 special thanks to these doodles for keeping me awake #i had decided not to sleep when i drew this and i can't fall asleep before ten otherwise ill wake up 4 hours later wide awake #with no hope of getting back to sleep #and another s/o to barnaby for being incredibly pleasant to draw. he does not fight me like the others do

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non-un-topo · 15 hours

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Thinking about Yusuf and Nicolò as young men again

#the old guard #kaysanova #yusuf al kaysani #nicolo di genova #siggy draws #it ain't much but it's more than i've drawn in months. i miss this sort of cartoony style. like a dreamworks movie almost lol #my brain conjured an anime ending apparently and i can't explain why #maybe they're too girly looking but i didn't feel like using reference pictures so i guess they're bishounen sdfghfds #ahh i usually have director's commentary in the tags #yusuf is probably around 23-25 and nico is 19-22? though i can't say confidently that yusuf would be able to grow a full beard at 23 #but maybe he can maybe he's just that powerful #they're either very sad and lonely or very pensive. or both. maybe they're longing for something more... maybe a true love #i also dk what these clothes are. yusuf has some good clothes on. is probably flourishing as a merchant but still longs for More #nicolo is wearing... a tunic? but it could be a thin gambeson instead. maybe he's learning how to use a sword #i try to capture their best assets in this doodly style: yusuf's eyelashes and cute ears and weirdly shaped eyebrows #and nicolo's nose and heavy brow and the fact that he has almost no lips from the side lol

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corrodedcoughin · 1 year

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So I know celebrity rockstar Eddie with Just-Some-Guy Steve is popular, but what about the opposite?

Steve, who is a professional Basketball player, got scouted from where he played for his college team. The fan fave, the darling of the locals, and one of the best players on the team. Models for sportswear brands, has had interviews and talks at schools and the media loves him. He's handsome, and nice, and has publicly come out.

And then there's Eddie. His boyfriend since college. Just some guy who runs a music store. Started just as a minimum wage worker and then slowly worked his way up to running a small business himself. Sells guitars and drums and other instruments. Vinyl and cds and music merch. Hosts guitar lessons. Is happy playing music because he loves it, not for the fame and money.

Eddie goes to all his games (or as many as he can) and while he's not a sports guy and never will be he loves watching Steve play. Is only about 80% sure of the rules at best and that's good enough for Steve. And Steve who's not a metal fan, and will never be into DnD but will spend his free evenings helping Eddie plan a campaign or listening to this song Eddie's been trying to learn on the guitar.

Idk I just think it's fun to explore the opposite! Eddie getting excited any time he sees people wearing Steve's merch in public and people keep mistaking him for a hardcore fan because no one knows who he is and honestly he's fine with that. He is a big fan of Steve

he's a big fan of steve' MOMO THAT LAST LINE TOOK ME OUT!!!! OHH!!!!

Okay so as always i am IN LOVE with your ideas and where you take them and explore with the space.

Please can I have Eddie who doesn't completely GET sports but he DOES get collecting so he has one of those card books and collects basket ball trading cards. He has a full page of 'Steves' that he every proud of because he's drawn on some of them, giving him different outfits/hair/facial hair/speech bubbles, some include dragon hatcher steve, android steve, malibu barbie steve and pronstache steve (that one wasn't even drawn on, Steve was just trying something new and it got immortailised in a trading card much to Eddie's delight. His personal favourite is a Steve mid spin of the ball on his fingertip, the image of concentration and Eddie has yet to see a photo that highlights the muscle and bite-ability of Steve's arms quite as well as that one.

When Eddie and Steve are out for dinner and Eddie sees a little kid wearing a shirt with Steve's name on it he's quick to point it out to the delight of his boyfriend, both of them trying to figure out a way to subtly let the kid know that 'Harrington' is here.

Eddie who turns up to games with the kids and a foam finger because 'Steve come on its hilarious' but in reality he just loves obnoxiously supporting him. Steve kisses his finger tips and waves to Eddie before running to join the team in the changing rooms. Eddie who catches it and stuffs it in his pocket in the most dramatic way possible. Steve who laughs every time because he wouldn't have it any other way.

#MOMO MOMO‼️#MOMO!!!!#HELLO HOW ARE YOY?!?#YOU BRAIN IS HUGE AND BEAUTIFUL AND SO FULL IF IDEAS I AM SO ENVIOUS #I AM LUCKY TO BE A RECIPENT!!!#I JUST!!!#AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!#and I am so so sorry about the delay I’ve been in a Way lately (the last 4 months)#BUT THIS ID THR KIND OF THING THAT IS LIKE SUNSHINE TO ME #Steddie fixing my Big Sad thank you #mwah air smooch for you if you wish #stranger things #eddie munson #steddie #steve harrington #momo #momotonescreaming #ask

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blueparadis · 1 year

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When Kaveh meets you for the first time after hearing about you for months, not only from your boyfriend but also from cyno and Tighnari his curiosity is at the verge of destruction. He feels like he is standing at highest of the high mountains while unable to see anything, neither the moon nor the sun only vast stretches of barren land.

And when he finally sees you, standing beside al haitham. You are so close to him, hand curled around his hefty arms and your boobs grazing against his biceps occasionally when you laugh. He is watching you from distance admist the dizzy crowd; he feels so hollow — he can hear it, the hollowness in himself — it's loud, almost sounds like blowing air through a pipe. He smiles before walking towards you thinking there is no greater tragedy than someone being unaware of their art in them.

He talks to you, has you fairly comfortable around him because yeah, he is easy like that — After sharing a few shots of vodka, he starts to roll a joint. As he rolls he starts to talk. “You know what they say about beauty?” He taps the rolled joined on the hand rest of the couch. “they say it comes from others... other's love.” He looks at you “your mom and dad did not work hard enough otherwise you would have been a van gogh reincarnate”

You, an art clutz who looks even more confused than before trying to think he is just playing with you, claiming this as one of his mischiefs but when he leans down, close enough to whisper past your ears, to wry your confusion away. “They didn't make enough love to each other, but I could change that,” He leans back up. “but that's not my job, anyways.” his eyes landing on al-haitham who is walking towards both of you.

Al-haitham sits beside you while Kaveh lights the joint, the lighting exuding his carmine eyes and watercolored eyelashes. Your eyes are still settled on him until he passes you the joint, blowing out the smoke in other direction yet his eyes transfixed on you. Taking a drag from the joint you spoke with no hesitation.

“You're kaveh, right?” that earns you nothing but a head-tilt with raised eyebrow. “tell me more about your mom. . . maybe your dad too.” and that makes him flinch, for the first time since he saw you. He smiles that signature smile of his dripping with jealousy, madness and anger. How dare you touch the part of his that he never touched before?

“Well, maybe some other time.” He leaves the seat without taking his joint. “and another place when we are both sober,” he mumbles to himself walking away from you. You glance at al-haitham who looks a little amused at your theatrics before following his former roommate, resting his arm around his shoulder. You watch them talk and laugh as your blunt becomes shorter. He didn't even steal a glance, not once. Ah! he is certainly more interesting than Al-haitham.

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dontmixpaintinyourcoffee · 6 months

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I've thought about the contradictions between Abstinence Camp and NPMD a lot, specifically with Pete, and I think I kind of love them??? I don't know how intentional this was, and I honestly don't care, but think about it- Pete is confident in himself and his ability, but he struggles with the difference between how he sees himself vs how others see him. He's got some identity issues, that's normal, but they don't show up at all in Abstinence Camp, there's not even a hint of trepidation in his friendship with Steph. The only time he even mentions being a loser is when he thinks it might negatively affect Steph's reputation, but that's concern for her, not himself.

The main thing that got me was the motivation change with his outfit. In Abstinence Camp he says that he wears the classic nerd look on the advice of his cool older brother, committing to an aesthetic. In NPMD he says that the outfit is specifically designed to prevent as much harassment as possible. Those two things didn't really click in my head until the thought popped up- what if he's just lying? Camp Idontwannabang has a strict social hierarchy for sure, but it's one that Pete doesn't have any reason to care about. You show up for the summer, you do the dumb activities, you have a bad time for a few months, you go home. There isn't a Max at Camp Idontwannabang. Sure, there's the Axe-Man, but he's just a scary story, the Boogeyman to blame when kids go missing in the woods. All he does, hypothetically, is kill you. Very bad, but he doesn't follow you home, drag you through the dirt, humiliate you for years on end, frighten everyone else into leaving you behind. So when Steph asks about the bow tie, why would he say the truth? Why would he drag all that baggage into a place where he is finally separated from it? Yeah. I wear it because I like to wear it. I make the choice to wear these things this way. I want to stick with this look. I feel cool.

He's been beat down since the fourth grade, not just by direct attacks on him, but by the attacks on people around him. Every choice he makes is in direct response to how Max has reacted to a similar choice in the past. The whole reason he wears a bow tie is to avoid what happened to Travis Colson. His most iconic fashion choice isn't really his own. It's a defensive reaction. All the nerds at Hatchetfield High are basically living in survival mode. The threat isn't just not being accepted, or being challenged by mean kids, the threat is getting the shit kicked out of you. The threat is being harassed and humiliated so badly and so constantly that you have to literally change your home address.

One of my favorite NPMD scenes is the scene at Pasquale's parking lot, because this might be the first piece of media I've ever seen that actually understands why people don't "stand up" to bullies. Sometimes when someone wants to hurt you, they will just do it. Max doesn't need a reason to hurt people. He just wants to, and he doesn't see any reason not to. Pete tries to establish himself, hoping that Max is putting up a front, hiding behind a tough façade. And he might be. But that doesn't stop him from beating Pete until his fists bruise over.

Pete isn't just hyping himself up or trying to act confident in front of a cool girl. Pete is reclaiming his autonomy. Because he doesn't get to make decisions for himself at school, it's all a futile effort to keep out of Max's line of sight. But anywhere else he gets to decide why he does things. And I just think that's neat.

#npmd #nerdy prudes must die #abstinence camp #nightmare time 2 #peter spankoffski #hatchetfield #my brain is so full rn and the space is exclusively occupied by the sad teens of Hatchetfield #wow there was a lot of jazz hands during that murder

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bluebellsinthedells · 1 month

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#I'm sad so I need a bradford boost #if I don't post my favorite pictures of this man my brain's gonna pop like a balloon full of jelly #he's got great gender #brad dourif

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puppyeared · 2 months

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they could make a new we didnt start a fire song with the amount of dystopian fuckery going on

#genocide and colonization; AI takeover; greedflation; american election; photomatt; covid pandemic; measles comeback #human rights violations; war crimes; tiktok; elon musk; low wages and layoffs at an all time high; ceo paycuts; online censorship #climate change; oil spills; car centric infrastructure #just to name a few off the top of my head. im not even saying this to be funny im like dead serious full on depressed #i hate being so negative on main because it feels defeatist and sends everyone into a spiral #but i really want to change the world if i can help it and that means not ignoring everything thats going on even when my brain is #screaming 'its so over.' i want more ways to change the world but thats exactly why the current systems in place thrive on supression #more ppl should hate the way things are instead of accepting it because none of this should be justified in the first place #please dont be sad. be angry because i think we all deserve to be the way things are going rn and i want to punch elons teeth in #vent #yapping

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optiwashere · 24 days

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I think I have a problem when it comes to writing Shadowheart/Nocturne. I can't seem to write anything other than fics like this for them. Rich with angst and yearning - even when they're technically together - but also full of potential points of light.

This is probably the last fic like this that I'll be writing for a bit. I'm back on my Shadowheart/Tav obsession in terms of WIPs, which means I gotta go make everyone happy again, but I figured I'd edit this and post it so that it doesn't just rot in my folders...

Rating: E

Ship: Shadowheart/Nocturne

Tags and AO3 Summary under the break.

Tags: Explicit Sexual Content, Shameless Smut, Angst, Trans Female Character, Dark Justiciar Shadowheart (Baldur's Gate), Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Religious Guilt, Dom/sub, Power Imbalance, Collars, Leashes, Strap-Ons, Rough Oral Sex, Anal Sex

Summary:

Nocturne knows she's the new Mother Superior's favorite. All she must do is continue.

#bg3 #bg3 fanfiction #shadowheart #bg3 nocturne #shadowheart x nocturne #my fic #One Day™ I'll figure out why I throw so much angst at Nocturne in particular for these fics...#I promise I just want her to be happy #but my brain is full of unused hammers and all the Sad Wet Cat characters seem like nails to me #Selûnite Shadowheart my beloved I must return to you...

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daydreamingtetch · 10 hours

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What type of Soul do you Have? BLANK SOUL

you have acquired the Blank Soul. you'd walk backwards into hell with a smile on your face. if only you'd care enough. you're blunt, moody and aloof. you'd say you weren't always like this but you seldom remember a time when it wasn't like this. you'd like to do good and you CAN do good, but… do those around you deserve it? haven't you gone through enough? can you save everyone? it's not about saving everyone its about doing what you can. and you know this. somewhere in your deeply sanitized heart you know. albeit your misery you prize yourself in your humor and by the gods you'll never let anyone take that from you. reluctantly you admit to being a good mentor. and i know that you are. you can look after others. it doesn't always end bad. just try not to let the cats claws tear you down. because you've learnt to lick love of the silver glint of a blade. and you're not sure if you can ever go back. You share a soul type with Daan.

iiiinteresting result really...

Tagged by: @aprimreaper (HEART EMOJIS AT YOU CECE!!!)

Tagging: fuck it we ball, you can be tagged if u want

#now you may ask yourself where tf I've been and uuh #working on career choices and getting out of depression! yippie!!!!#as well as just doing other art #proper update is soon! dw #also I didn't have to go full on out and make a sprite and all that but my brain went I GOTTA #ALSO FUNGER STYLE IS HARD AS FUCK AOGUH #also also sad I had to use a grey filter over him RIP the color

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sealrock · 4 months

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decembhyur, day 30: future

regardless of everything that you endured, in the end... everything will be okay.

#decembhyur #decembhyur2023 #mypost.#ffxiv gpose #ffxiv screenshots #ffxiv oc #🍃#sorry if this is difficult to read but i wanted to use vertical shots. open images for full quality #i am. so sad rn. this isn't even sad but i'm about to start crying #this is kinda half-canon half-au #paris continued to be the wol after endwalker (doing the side quest raids & trials and such) but entered retirement when they were 28 #they then traveled the world by themself to be alone. they kept in touch on occasion but they would go months without contacting anyone #all of the stress and pressure of the past decade took a toll on them and paris distanced themself from everyone #now paris is 31 here. evander is in remission got married and has a kid. achille & patroclus got married too #andi and hector are still together. not mentioned is paris' other family members + friends #i would've featured the others but i'm low on brain power #i don't wanna think about my oc's growing older. it's too soon #q.

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coldercreation · 7 months

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oh

i think i... finished it?

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opens-up-4-nobody · 4 months

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...

#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying #shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl #in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated #bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not #her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet #so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive #personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd #compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from #happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is #like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil #not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am #barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me #and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them #but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and #thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard #to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds #nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of #brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but #that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer #defying the stats but for how much longer?#i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it #i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else #excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things #unrelated #ed mention #i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama #bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]

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planetsallalign · 7 months

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Out of the blue I feel unbelievably sad and so very unhappy tonight.

#I just want to crawl in a hole and disappear #my brain is being a wicked asshole tonight apparently #it’s a full body kind of sadness too #usually I can feel it creeping up and take steps to keep it at bay #tonight it hit me suddenly and instantly and I can feel myself sinking under

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cornerful · 7 months

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It's newsletter time babey!!

I've some catching up to do 🏃‍♂️

I basically ended up taking a complete hiatus from tumblr for several months when my migraines got real bad last year. And then things, as things do, kept on happening. Bastards.

I haven't looked much at the tag yet and I still have to catch up with the first five? Chapters and relearn the ropes so to speak, but hopefully I'll see some familiar faces around this year, and new ones 👀

Last time I couldn't get to the end but what I did get through was a lot of fun and the best part was what everyone else was saying and drawing and discussing! That's what I missed the most, was talking and joking with everyone. Lotr is probably my Favorite Story, and to have this in-time community readthrough is such a treasure. As usual, three cheers for @sindar-princeling for organizing. It's a hell of a feat 😁

I'm arriving uh...Precisely When I Mean To ;] but here's to a great year! 💚🍻

#lotr newsletter #i am tragically gifted with a life and brain that frequently fall apart i know everyone is incredibly jealous #fresh out of heartbreak and with some free time i think a full reread will be good. Autumn is here #perfect for beginnings bc there's already so many endings #i think i will still post a little about my catch-up if i have things i want to put on the blog #but itll be a lot less thorough so as not to muck up the tag?#elsewhise ill make a separate tag...hmm #i am curious as to what ppl said last year too so maybe I'll make a whole other blog for that idk #i was very invested in everyone's thoughts and i'm sad i missed out on so much #might do that #but for now ill get caught up! this thing moves fast when it wants to #i started the ian holm bbc drama today to hype myself up #😭 he's wonderful i keep wondering how that turn informed his take on bilbo #it's amazing how similar they are sometimes #not to be all I AM HERE but im excited ok thats all XD #you've no idea how devastated i was that i couldn't post about the songs from the musical at the right time 😩

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