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#my cod the bitches gay!
missmako-chan · 1 year
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Rita: I sentence you to 10 years in prison.
Himeno: Well your honor, maybe I can... Change your mind~
Rita: ...20 years.
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franchickennn · 1 year
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GO FOR IT, KÖNIG!!
(that one romcom manga poster)
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shyravenns · 11 months
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Some CoD doodles
First one was supposed to be my "thank you so much for 1k followers on twit!" But uh-that didn't quite pan out the way I wanted it to lmaooo
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ghouljams · 10 months
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Idea spinning in my brain like a rotisserie chicken.
Fae are deal makers and debt takers yes?
For your consideration. For the people.
~Valeria~
You sit at her feet, eyes half lidded as her fingers comb through your hair, scratching lightly. You occupy her hands with something other than a weapon, and you're all too happy to do it. You rest your head against her knee, drawing an acknowledging hum from the woman above you.
"Your pet have to be here?" The court dickhead asks, it's an innocent question, or it would be if it were anyone else.
"They go where I do," Valeria tells him easily, "Don't worry, they aren't listening." You nod against her knee, and her fingers leave your hair to snap next to your ear. The sound rings, bouncing around your head unpleasantly, before her fingers soothe over your furrowed brow and everything goes silent.
Not that you mind. You've never cared much for the court. As Valeria has said, they don't care for you, why should you care for them. Still, they make a lot of house calls. Someone is always eager for a favor from El Sin Nombre, especially the dickheads that think they're holding all the cards.
You run your tongue along the back of your teeth, eyes focusing on the fae across from you. The increasingly nervous shifting. The way they move their hands with more enthusiasm. The lines around their mouth, the harsh pull of Valeria's fingers in your hair.
No, it's not your job to care about court politics. You only job is to attack when Valeria snaps her fingers to bring you back into the conversation.
"I think we're done here," Her voice rings clear through the room as your teeth tear through the other fae's jugular.
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sudsyv2 · 1 year
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"Home”
Such a simple word that confused Simon to no end.
He knew what house was, of course, everybody does, but home? No, even now the word is still relatively new to him. He doesn't think he's ever been able to experience the word home.
House was more of Simon's kinda word.
A place you live in.
All Simon needed really. (He wished for more)
Houses for Simon were temporary and only for short moments. Something that the man has been used to all his life.
But to be honest, he never bothered to understand the word 'home'
Though in his defense, he knew in his heart there wasn't much of a chance for him to experience it anyways. Simon wasn't some poor kid on a street, he was a trained killer. He made due with the fact that he'd probably only feel home in hell.
Made due with it till a man named Johnny came into his life. (Rather annoyingly if you asked Simon)
The damn bastard made a room for himself in both Simon's space and heart. He skillfully wiggled his way right next to Simon and has yet to let go.
It confused Simon to no end. Why is someone like Johnny wanting to spend time with him?Surely he's popular enough with the whole base to just go hang out with the others. But nope.
"Whyd I choose anyone else but you LT!" He'd say in such a faux offended tone that it made Simon let out a small chuckle. "I chose you" Johnny would say again, softer this time. More serious as well. Maybe to convey something? Simon would usually brush the comment off. Never brought attention to it. (He wanted to)
But that didn't mean he never thought about it, what Johnny said.
It was strange but...it felt nice. Simon's never been chosen as a first by someone else.
A moment Simon thinks back to fondly was when Johnny was patching up his small wounds. They were only scratches really, (‘these aren't scratches LT' Johnny said, rather unimpressed and slightly angry that Simon didn't care about his wounds.) but Johnny insisted that he patch Simon up. And with enough barking from Johnny and the slow drain of his adrenaline, Simon gave in. (‘...fine. Better do a good job.’ Simon huffed in annoyance. His tone was angry but he felt warm in the face. What was Johnny doing to him?) When Johnny began patching up his wounds, all Simon could do was stare. Stare at the knitted eyebrows on the others face, stare at the way his hands moved delicately yet precisely to clean a cut on Simon's arm. (‘You’re so strange..’ Simon muttered to himself. That same warm feeling pooling into him again. 'Wow thanks LT’ Johnny replied in a joking tone, and if he tightened his grip on Simon's arm then that's for him to know and for Simon to complain about.)
Simon would never admit it out loud but can a human be a home? It was so weird that he asked Price. (Papa price!)
"Would you say a person could be a home."
Price turned to look at Simon. They had just breaked for lunch and Simon had pulled Price aside to ask something. (Price never expected this though)
"A home?" Price repeated, maybe to ground the conversation in his head. "I'd say so." Price replied with a confident shake of his head.
“I see.” Simon said
A few moments of silence. ‘Can I go now…’ Price said in his head, looking around awkwardly for an escape.
"What is home to you sir?" Another strange question. Well strange coming from a guy like Simon. Whys he asking about stuff like ‘home’ all of a sudden?
"Uh..I'd say it's a place, or someone, that makes you feel secure. And warm. Something or someone you feel that you belong to." Price answered.
Simon began to get lost in his head. If that was anything to go by, did those rushes of warmth when hanging out with Johnny mean something?
"You got someone you've been thinking about, son?" Price asked, privacy be damned, he was gonna die out of curiosity.
Simon tensed up.
Did he?
"Do I?” Simon said breathlessly.
Simon thought back to the moments he had with Johnny.
He’d be lying if he were to say that he’s never felt secure with the other. He never felt judged when he ever talked about himself. He felt cared for in their soft moments with each other. Johnny was someone that Simon found peace with.
And he'd definitely be lying about denying that warm feeling. But that feeling was only with Johnny. The other was the only one who has ever given him that feeling. It kept him warmer than the promise of hell. It was nicer to feel too, it felt like being surrounded in a weighted blanket. (Or johnnys arms)
He felt like he belonged with Johnny. He felt himself gravitate towards the other as well. But maybe that was just Johnny's charm?
Johnny could be home. It wasn’t an unwelcome idea to Simon.
Simon was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard that familiar voice. "Hey guys!" It was Johnny. Simon whipped his head around, just fast enough to make him feel doozy for a split second. "W-woah! Jeez, LT you scared me" Johnny said, backing up a little as Simon was really close. "Mm? Oh-sorry." Simon replied, backing up as well to give the other some space.
Price stared at the two for a little. He saw the excited face of Johnny when he saw Simon. The man practically lit up when he was walked over. And he saw the soft look Simon had when he began talking to Johnny. He looked like an extremely whipped man.
("Would you say a person could be a home?")
("What is home to you sir?”)
Suddenly it clicked
‘Ooohhh. I get it now.” Price thought to himself. And with a smile he patted both Johnny and Simon's shoulder. And with a turn of his heel he began walking off.
"Uh where are you going sir?" Ghost asked
"To get a drink maybe." Price said, feeling very lonely all of a sudden.
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avianii · 4 months
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WII SPORTS RESORT THEME GOES SO HARD
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michaelthejesse · 6 months
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Shitty sketch of Graves with cat ears. Graves is the one person I will ever give cat ears bc HES SO CATBOYABLE
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He’s so yes
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forcedhesitation · 1 month
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head in my hands... my other brother announced to me that he is now also playing baldur's gate...my job defending every companion that isn't shadowheart will never be over...
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reznovcore · 2 years
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some indulgent soap doodles + blushy ghost. soap does Not and Will Not hesitate to show affection 
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purgetrooperfox · 1 year
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gazcte can have a sillystupid gaz quote as their ship tag. as a treat. it's more pronounceable than all those consonants anyway
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astralnymphh · 5 months
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gamer!ellie would def be a sweat on fortnite, like her obsession with it is just borderline insane (me fr)
-🧟‍♀️
౨ৎ oh she definitely yells at kids on there. gets so serious abt it too. if u were to chance upon her she'd be couped up in her little leather gaming chair, snacks galore scattered upon her desk, her feet tucked beneath in a criss—cross position (back for sure hunching n u scold her abt it all the time) and literally twiddling that fucking controller like it personally offended her. the fingers wrapped taut around the plastic legs flushing of her natural pigment— literal cherub red fingerprints, thumbs wrestling the little joysticks, so vigorously, so madly, ur ears pick up faint clacks from ayond the oaken bedroom door. and her face— gosh her face, laughable. thick bush of her scarred brows knurling into the hood of her eyes, dragon–esque, if you want to ponder a term, just angry looking. STOPP cause she'd be so baaddd with mic privileges. there's an ongoing list of things spat from that filthy gob of hers, namely: "BITCH!" , "I'M NOT GAY!" , "your parents don't love you!" , "SANTA ISN'T REAL!" , "YOU'RE GAY!" or— oh my, if she joined a cod lobby it'd be, "i've got hoes andddd you don't." (ur her only hoe) , "suck my big, faattt, thick dick!" , "KILL YOURSELF." but it'd be in that deep bellow that ripples so satisfyingly from her chest, you start to dote when she gets enraged at the silly little pixels flashing her screen.
know she gonna need crazy head after those matches tho. wait i kinda enjoy writing for gamer!ellie GUYS GUYS GIVE ME SCENARIOS SFW/NSFW ANGST (angst 💀💀bro cried at the roblox sad stories from yt) ASKS IDC
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octopiys · 11 months
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Hi again friend! I’m glad you’re liking my quotes. I have two this time!
“Depression is kicking my ass more than my mother ever could”
“You don’t know true terror till you almost send your parent gay porn”
If you ever get bored of my quotes don’t hesitate to say so, I don’t want to bother you. Have a good time zone friend!
🪶
No worries at all anon I love the quotes :D hope you're having an awesome timezone!
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Incorrect CoD as Quotes(OR things my friends have said)
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Soap, tearing into the room: GAZ-
Gaz: wh? Hello? What happened to knocking?
Soap: doesn't matter, hide me!
Gaz: oh fuck no, I'm not doing that again, you know how terrifying Ghost was when he-
Soap: you don't know true terror until you almost send your captain gay porn, hide me!
Gaz:
Gaz: you almost WHAT
-
Los Vaqueros and TF-141 after celebrating a successful mission :
Alejandro: you know, Ghost....
Ghost:
Alejandro: the first time I met you, I thought you were gay
Rodolfo: was.... was that an unspoken thing?
Gaz: we haven't talked about that?
Soap: YOU ARE????
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Nikolai: don't freak out, it's okay, he already saw my boobs on the bus!
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Price: ohhh Simon I forgot how good of a bitch you could be-
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Roach: don't worry guys, the guy of all time has arrived!!
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Price, playing minecraft, speaking to villagers: can you have babies so I can kidnap them?
Laswell: John what the f-
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Alejandro, watching the 141 "train": what are they... even doing?
Rodolfo: they're like prehistoric planet.
Alejandro:
Rodolfo: we don't know much about them.
-
Soap: so my senior prank was filling up a staircase with balloons.
Soap: and one girl opened the doors and let all of them out by walking through it.
Soap: so next year I think we should do it again
Soap: but with lasers.
-
König: I made a bet with God at aquatica!
Roach: ???
König: he said no.
-
Graves: in God we trust. Hoo rah.
Alejandro: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE-
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Alex: I made a dick joke and Ghost just stared at me.
Alex: I'm... not actually sure what to do now.
-
Soap: well you know what they say, when life gets rough-
Ghost: depression is kicking my ass more than my father ever could.
Soap:
Soap: okay, I feel like ye should really see someone for that
-
Gaz: is he white? Cus if he is, then we don't have that in common.
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Rodolfo: I'm pretty sure that kid just called you a bitch in four different languages.
Valeria:
-
Price: nothing says team bonding like getting secondhand high!
Laswell: JOHN
Price: IT WASNT MY FAULT-
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blue2black · 5 months
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COD incorrect quotes, but their from TikToks I saw and are now buried somewhere deep in my likes:
PART 2
—————————
*in an Uber pt 3*
Soap: Is it that big of a deal?
Gaz: YES!
Soap: It’s just two people who love each other.
Soap: “Love Is Love”, that’s what the gay people say.
Gaz: Well, fuck them homosexuals because love and love is not the same thing in this situation.
—————————
Makarov, holding out a gun: Put your hands up!
Price: No.
Makarov: …what?
Price: I said no.
Makarov: Why not?
Price: I don’t want to. 😒
Makarov: But I’ve got a gun.
Price: I don’t care. 🤷🏻‍♂️
Makarov: But…doesn’t make any sense! (Ō👄Ō)
Price: Too bad!
—————————
Ghost, holding in his laughter: Johnny, I have something really important to tell you…
Soap, looking up from his sketch book: What’s up, love?
Ghost, smiling: I wanna get a job cleaning mirrors…
Soap: … *realizes this is a dad joke*
Ghost, still holding a laugh: It’s something I can really-
Soap, getting up and walking away: NO.
Ghost: -can really SEE myself doing… *breaks off into wheezing laughter*
—————————
*Soap as soon as Price takes his eyes off of him*
Soap: Eureka! That’s it! 😃
Soap: I’ll run away! 🏃🏻‍♂️💨
—————————
Gaz: We're an interracial couple; I let him drive just in case we get pulled over.
Alex: We're an interracial couple; everybody thinks his credit score is good 'cause of me.
Gaz: We're an interracial couple; I can wear bonnets and he can't, 'cause he'll get cancelled.
Alex: We're an interracial couple; every time we go out to eat the old people stare at us.
Gaz: We're an interracial couple; every time you see me take a family picture, people scream "get out".
Alex: We're an interracial couple; every night he leaves the stove light on, and I think it's raising our electricity bill.
Gaz: We're an interracial couple; I can say certain words that he can't, like: NI-
—————————
Price: Are you stuck?
Gaz, hanging from a bloody rope once again: ...I AM. 😭
—————————
Ghost: What the hell were you thinking?!
Soap: You told me not to think!
Ghost: … (Ô_Ô)
Soap: … (Û~Û)💅🏻
Ghost: … (Ō_Ō) *this bitch…*
—————————
(Alejandro and Rudy making fun of Graves)
Rudy, laughing: PARECE ZORRILLO— 🤣
*Alejandro and Rudy fall on the ground laughing their asses off*
—————————
Laswell: Wow, a surprisingly peaceful, domestic moment.
Laswell: When will it be ruined?
Soap, Gaz, Price, Ghost: LASWELL!! 😫😫😫😫
Laswell: There it is! -_-💢
—————————
Laswell, who’s been hearing them flirt over coms for 50 minutes: Why don’t you two cut the horse shit, and get to the part where you admit you have sexual feelings for one another.
Ghost and Soap: WOAH-!
—————————
(Laswell asking why they all joined the army)
Ghost: NO- *buries face into a pillow*
Laswell: Ghost, why’d you join the army? 😆
Ghost, whining into the pillow: I don’t know… 😭
Laswell: Soap, why’d you join the army?
Soap: So I can fire guns! 😃
Laswell: Why’d you join the army?
Gaz: … 😐
Gaz: I’ll answer that question with another question…
Gaz: Why the fuck did think this was a good idea? 🥲
Laswell: Why’d you join the army, John?
Price: Because I had nothing better to do.
Laswell: Why’d you join the army?
Rudy: …’cause I’m a fucking idiot. 😐 *spanish rage*
Laswell: Why’d you join the army?
Alejandro: Why’d I join the army?
Alejandro: For money.
Laswell: What money? 🤨
Laswell: Why’d you join the army?
Alex: To find a battle boo. 😂
Laswell: 😂
Laswell: Farah, why’d you-
Farah: Wait- *takes off headphones*
Farah: Okay, what?
Laswell, chuckling: Why’d you join the army?
Farah: Shit…
Farah: I don’t know my guy.
Laswell: Cream? 🙂
Farah: Cream. 😌
—————————
Ghost, smiling: Knock knock.
Soap, already so over it: Who’s there? 😒
Ghost: I eat mop.
Soap: I eat mop who?-
Soap: Ugh, Simon! *walking away*
*Ghost wheezes in pure bliss*
—————————
*in an Uber pt 4*
Gaz: I’m not open to this. At all.
Soap: Why you not open—GET open to it.
Gaz: The only thing that was open here was..your mom’s damn legs.
Gaz: And she should’ve kept them closed for her brother.
Soap: 😧
—————————
Shepherd: Here we go…
Shepherd: 15 years and 14 hours later…
Shepherd: Best brisket in Texas.
Graves, who purposely gave Shepherd the wrong recipe: 😏 (GRAVES, YOU EVIL BI-)
—————————
Farah: How did you know that you always wanted to be a professional Drug Cartel Leader?
Valeria: I just wanted to be a star in any way I got it.
Valeria: I said if I didn't become a star by thirty-five I was just gonna become a serial killer.
Farah: ...well, girl, how old are you? I'm getting nervous... 😨
—————————
Gaz: Hi! I'm the witch that won't turn you into a frog because amphibians are people too!
Gaz: Kyle Garrick! *pulls out a frog and lets it hop away*
Ghost: ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ᴅɪᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ.
Gaz: ...
Ghost: I'm Simon.
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dandelion-idk · 1 year
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Did you know?
There's actually a secret Sunken scroll embedded in the code of the first Splatoon game on the Wii U. To access it, you have to beat the final boss 69 times hitless (if you get hit one time the number will restart), once you do it you will get a pop up congratulating you, while warning to not share the contents of the scroll as it is only for the freshest squids. The scroll shows young cap'n cuttlefish and octavio from sunken scroll 16 kissing, with the caption "my fucking cod! these bitches gay! good for them! good for them." Telling you the nature of the sunken scroll already puts me in the eye of the nintendo ninjas so I can't actually show the image but I promise it's worth doing the hassle. Good luck!
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j-hauke · 1 year
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So I tried to write a chat fic for cod, I'm not a very good writer so I gave up but I thought maybe someone would think it was funny so here you all go have fun with this mess (let me know if the Spanish is right, I had to use google translate)
Soap created a group chat Added Ghost, added Price, added Gaz, added Alejandro, added Rudy, added Laswell, added Graves, added König
Soap: how come penguins can be gay but cows can’t be lesbian?
Ghost: what the fuck
Price: did you create a group chat just for this?
Gaz: I set the microwave on fire
Laswell: YOU DID WHAT!?
Rudy: how?
Gaz: I wanted ice cream but it was frozen so I warmed up the spoon
Graves: dumbass
Alejandro: cállate gilipollas puñaladas por la espalda!
Graves: I don’t speak Taco Bell
Alejandro: TACO BELL!??!
Rudy: calm down
König: what is happening
Soap: beautiful chaos
Price: cut it out
Gaz: yes dad
Price: I’m not your father
Soap: already know your lines
Rudy: Hermano, are you ok?
König: I’m not
Ghost: we know
Soap: I’m good
Soap changed Rudy to mother hen
Mother hen: I’ll accept it
Laswell: get back to work boys and Kyle we are going to have a talk later
Ghost: who ate my soup
Ghost: smart you knew I’d never forgive you
Price: it’s 2 am why are you eating soup
Ghost: someone ate my soup, I’ll find them and kill them
Soap: I’ll buy you more just go to bed
Ghost: it was you wasn’t it
Soap: unless it’s chicken noodle I’m not touching it
Price: bed both of you
Soap changed price to Daddy
Daddy: no
Ghost: fits
Gaz: some people are trying to get their beauty rest
Soap: you need it
Laswell: bed
Soap: alright alright going to bed
Graves: one time in a dream I dreamed that I was gay
Alejandro: you like fingers in your ass
Mother hen: so do you
Gaz: L
Soap: buncha hoes
Laswell: keep it tactical boys
Daddy: I’m the backbone of this household
Laswell: you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair
König: What is an eclair?
Soap: frozen dessert thing, it’s French I think
Graves: it’s a bread thing filled with custard with a frosting on top
König: I’ve never had one
Mother hen: I’ll look for them next time I’m at the store
Gaz: I’m so good looking
Soap: hello 999, this bitch is on fire
Alejandro: damn there was no reason to kill him
Ghost: he’s not wrong
Daddy: behave
Soap: sorry dad
Gaz added Alex
Alex: hi
Daddy: hey Alex
Alex: wtf
Gaz: it’s price
Alex: that’s even more concerning
Daddy: soap changed it and I’ve no idea how to change it
Ghost: it doesn’t need to be changed
Alex changed soap to lil shit
Lil shit: hey!
Gaz: he’s not wrong
Daddy: what happened
Alex: HE SET MY MUSTACHE ON FIRE
Lil shit: it was funny!
Daddy: soap
Lil shit: I can feel your disappointment
Daddy: room now and no explosions for a month
Lil shit: but what about on a mission
Ghost: I’ll do it
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axelaxolotll · 5 months
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very late intro post (yum!!)
.💞.💞.💞.💞.💞.💞.💞.💞.💞.💞.💞.💞.💞.💞.
hi!! im Axel. i dont do much on here, lol so this will be a very unintriguing intro. (i rb. a lot. thats what i do.)
i use he/him and im a t4t gay guy. if ur gonna be a bitch ab that, fuck off!! i also have a lovely bf so no flirting / dms w the intention of getting tg. thx <3
my blog is about 70% yearning, 20% cod rbs, and 10% random shit. ish. i reblog a LOT.
my interests r - theater!!, sleeptoken, ghost, pjo, cod mw2(although im not very well versed in the medium itself), spiderman (itsv/atsv!!), music (alt rock / nu metal?), and probably some more that i can’t think of rn idk! <- coming back later on to say there was indeed much more
asks and DMs are always open :) im always here to talk or for silly questions (SEND ME ASKS SEND ME ASKS PLSPLSPLS)
i don’t have a DNI per se, just don’t be a bigot or a terf (also exclusionists of any kind lol. gtfo!!) and u should be good - i block freely !!
if anyone wants to be mutuals feel free to send me an ask/dm!! its hard to keep up w following every1 back but i love making mutuals so if u wanna be mutuals lmk!! (or spam like my posts. anyone who spam likes my posts i fall in love with)
i have a few tags i use pretty consistently - you can filter out any hornypost reblogs w the #nsft tag, and i use #asks every time i respond to an ask
idk what else to put here tbh so yeah! welcome :)
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