#my eyes feel so weird right now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

catastrxblues · 8 months

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hi so i just finished bridge to terabithia and now i’m unwell and my eyes are red because i’ve been crying before i’d even reached 20 minutes of it for i actually knew what was going to happen and by the time i reached an hour something something i just straight up sobbing screaming into my pillow. and now it’s 12 am and i’m still thinking about them. because god, look at them, how they were, the little world they lived in, wouldn’t you just love that, to run away, to escape, to grasp that childhood naivety and innocence that you lost a long time ago, to feel the sun in your skin and the air in your lungs and to paint fantasies and laugh and play and run hidden away from the world and find an old run down tree house and decided to make it your own little shelter and pin up canvases on the worn wood and paint and let your creativity goes wild and have someone understand you and gets you and do it with you, and wouldn’t you just love to have something so constant, so sincere, so genuine, so pure, so real, that there wasn’t anything else. if i knew i was going to cry this much, if i knew how much space this movie would make in my life, i wouldn’t have started this movie tonight. i would have been in peace on the floor of my room, not realizing how badly i actually want something like this even though i would never unironically admit this to anyone in my life or even myself when i’m outside of the familiar place of my mind, for that matters

#bridge to terabithia #how am i supposed to recover #i wasn’t planning to write a paragraph about it but yeah i kinda love this movie i guess #i needed a good cry and the universe didn’t stop me from choosing this movie i don’t know if that’s nice or simply mean #i was going to watch la la land after this but that’s not gonna happen now #i’m not reading back what i wrote otherwise i would just delete it because i’d think this movie deserves better more coherent thoughts #and i’d say that i’d just rewrite it tomorrow but then i wouldn’t #because nothing would ever beat the “everything i create has to be great or nothing” in me #and i never am proud of what i made unless it’s supposedly only for my viewing #so i actually don’t know if what i just wrote make sense but yeah #my eyes feel so weird right now #also the ending was definitely up to interpretations!! (spoiler alert* just in case)#i myself personally like to believe he dreamed up the last 30 minutes of it and didn’t even go to the museum #and so he’ll just wake up definitely shocked but then still find leslie in her house who was just about to meet him so they could go!!#and because the rope was cut off by the lightning from last night they decide to build the bridge so everyone could cross safe and sound!!#i like my ending better they really should change it #but no all and all the end was really beautiful #even though it took me maybe even an hour to get through it because i keep sobbing and have to repeat over and over to hear what they said #yeah okay anyways sorry for the rant<3 #i’m not sure what this is #but glad i could get it off my chest #let’s see how to tag how to tag #movies #just #childhood #whatever <3 #nadirants

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front-facing-pokemon · 3 months

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#something is very obviously different about these two compared to my normal images on this blog. i acknowledge this #also the sv model is Really good. and since they always stare straight at the camera anyway… and no one pays attention to the background…#and the only high-quality phantump model i could find was so horribly shiny that its eyes were just white voids #in my defense‚ phantump always just stare straight at you in game #the lighting is different‚ yeah. that's probably the dead giveaway. beyond the background. but like. i'm the only being on the planet who #really likes phantump anyway. i feel like it's a generally forgettable pokémon to most folks #phantump #HELLO this one is a weird one. i have some explaining to do. so when i did this one i didn't know how to edit models really at all #and when i got the models for these‚ the xy models were super shiny. shiny to the point that it made their eyes fuckin invisible #and i decided that since you could barely tell it was phantump‚ i needed a different way to get these images #i remembered that in the SV dlc‚ every time you find a wild phantump‚ it just fucking. stares. at you. and i was like. aha #i kinda remembered because of the test stream that i did. tumblr user alligayytorr (am i getting the right amount of Ys) said #“haha i am getting a sneak peek” when i zoomed the camera in on a phantump. and i remembered that. and i was like. i can utilize this #and ended up using just an in-game screenshot of SV in replacement of the regular content. later on‚ after that #once we got into gen 7 and it became less and less reliable to find models‚ i had to learn how to edit them manually to remove the shine #i am a software dev. not a 3d modeler. this ended up coming down to editing the code of the models directly (which i ended up writing a #script to automate). now‚ today‚ january 22nd (the day of me writing these tags and updating this post)‚ i remembered this post was in the #queue and was not normal. so i went back‚ ran the script on the phantump and trevenant models‚ and unshinified them #then edited these two posts to be normal. i have left the original pictures i took under the cut for reference and as bonuses #because i really enjoy phantump. so that's why those images are there‚ and that's why these tags are here #just for posterity's sake‚ the folks who come here mostly for my commentary‚ i've left the ORIGINAL tags of the post when i initially #made it with the SV pictures up at the top (i wanted to rearrange them‚ but tumblr makes that Very difficult‚ so i left them as-is)#so if these tags are confusing to read i Apologize. but i hope now that you're at the bottom you understand what happened #i'm gonna go edit the trevenant post now

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taxinealkaloids · 5 days

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my take on the agnes/gertrude/elias situationship is that gertrude seems like the most normal one to outsiders (she's less prone to arson/creepy mind reading at inopportune moments), but she is still the archivist and therefore kind of eldritch. everyone in the institute has just sort of accepted that yes, the archivist does sleep with her eyes open/is muttering incantations, and it's the least weird thing she's done this week

ok the funny thing is, technically, if by "most normal" we're going off of who is the most human, Gertrude is the normal one. but I don't believe for a second that that's how she's perceived among the rest of the archive staff lmao. like...all her assistants wind up dead, she actively works to make sure her filing system is the least effective one possible, she takes random mysterious vacations and comes back looking like she's just gone ten rounds with a tornado...I absolutely think that Gertrude has the reputation of being the eccentric on staff. I've prepared this diagram to illustrate my point:

#asks #tma #my art #thanks for your ask!! you're absolutely right that there isn't really a 'normal' one out of the three of them lol #'does your elias design have glasses or not lani' the answer to that is that he has glasses if im having trouble #drawing his face without them #my jonah has glasses 100% of the time so uh lets say he was myopic originally and his sight got better when he aligned himself with the eye #so he doesnt NEED them anymore but after wearing them for so long he kinda liked how he looked in them #and sometimes they add something to a look yknow #(i wear glasses and i actually think i look better in them i would miss them if my eyes suddenly were perfect)#so he sometimes still wears them. and if he doesnt feel like it everyone else just assumes hes got contacts in that day #ANYWAY that is irrelevant to the content of this ask. uh i think gertrude being weird and scary and never seeming to do her actual job is a #running joke among archives staff. like they make up potential crazy things gertrude could be doing right now whenever she's late or #on vacation (they could never come up with anything wilder than what she's REALLY doing)

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coridallasmultipass · 16 days

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Bros only. You're not invited.

#idk lol i was in my dirk shirt all day and like #it takes 2 seconds to put on the shades and gloves #why not do a casual lol #i just restuffed my pillows after washing the cases so i was like... man lets get some brodirk up in this home #(dont forget cal in the equation tho brocal is 4lyfe)#(i just havent gotten around to remaking cal yet so pillow will have 2 do)#fuck what if i threw on bro and took another brobro pic #homestuck #homestuck cosplay #dirk #dirk strider #casual cosplay #me #selfie #striders #413 #its awk lighting bc my lightbulb right here is orange (i have pink and red also in other parts of my room lol)#i dont feel like burning my eyes w the ceiling light #ramble ramble lol idk what to tag this bro #brodirk #stridercest #(implied ig just tagging bc ppl are weird about it now)#brocal #mmmm what tag uhhhh #cosplay #even tho this hardly qualifies lol #bro #lil cal #i still wanna do a full dirk cosplay again its just.. the hair.. i dont wanna gel it.. it takes a blowdryer to get the zero grav lift #...and thats too much effort when im the only one who cares lol

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icewindandboringhorror · 5 days

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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things #out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever #all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever #or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple #and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already #done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and #all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3 #my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster #talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo #I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache #or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop #e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all #sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef #t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of #way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I #think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i #gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant #mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain #or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right #now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like #most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once #that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY #Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth

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sysig · 3 months

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I somehow forgot how fun Spider Bites is to draw ♥ (Patreon)

#Doodles #Just Desserts #Villainsona #Spider Bites #She is so fun to draw!! She is so cute!! I love her!!#How did I get her design So Right immediately uhghhgh save some for later past me lol - like for the TVAU! Come on! Lol #Honestly tho I just jkdflsafd I know she's designed exactly to my own tastes by design but her design balance! I love her!#Okay enough gushing for now lol (Never! Her stripes and glasses and four eyes and arms <3 <3)#There are actually Some things that I feel could use improvement lol - her legs being a standout #I wasn't very careful with her joints in some of my early doodles of her - I can't tell if she has two or three joints in her legs #Knee and ankle definitely but it almost looks like there's another joint in some of her early doodles! It's a bit hard to parse #She's very cute no matter what I think the extra joint Can look cool I'm just not sure what to do with it :0 #I like her anatomy to be a bit unique but how bend what bend?? I've never tried making a skeletal deconstruction of her design haha #Might be fun :) Weird skull - elbows - legs hehe #I still haven't drawn what her second set of eyes would look like it's a mystery to me as well #Silly stretchy in the middle there lol - stretching is a sign of affection! Haha #And a couple of the Queens since they appeared in one of her previous sets but have Actually been designed now!#Queen Charlotte has had the most noticeable design whatevers - additions and changes lol #She wears her hair in a bun in the EPAU :) It's harder to change her wife's look what with her having short hair to start haha #They're both a bit less smiley tho ouò It's a little more serious ♪#Ending off and another design element that I'm not fully satisfied with around Spider Bites - her wings :P #I do like the idea of them being less stable than either individual Charm but completely disconnected from her body? Hmmm #Dunno dunno. Wanna give it a bit more thought and take another crack at it #She looks pleased tho hehe ♥ Very powerful! Very strong and capable! Self-confident! Love her ♪

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hollow-indigo · 8 months

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decided I should practice drawing Cyn

#hollow indigo #Murder Drones #Murder drones Cyn #cyn murder drones #I could go on for ages about how much I love her #she’s so silly fr #her hair is a little weird to draw though #took a bit to get the hang of it especially in my style #also I drew the eyes with detail specifically because I hold grudges and I haven’t forgot the “ACKTUALLY THEIR EYES ARE OVALS” guy #at this point i’m just typing to type #no one is online right now so I don’t have many people to talk to.#i’m sure you know the feeling #the devastating life of being nocturnal while all your friends have normal and comparatively healthier sleep schedules 😔#you’ve probably had to click “more tags” by now or whatever that button is #here’s a hint for my wannabe cryptic arg: I changed the title of my ask page.

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derpinette · 4 months

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i need a girl to be tomboys with soon. or i will Die

#with a heavy heart i have to admit that i am tired of being a uhm. what is the word for incel but friendship. not friendcel...#Well you know what i mean #been like 3 years of being completely alone save for the biannual meeting i have with my bestfriend #Which is Dopeness BTW<3 but she lives in another city & i miss having someone Regular #someone Regular to MAKE INTO MY ACCOMPLICE #OMG i feel like a friendship cheater RN #caus yeah all my life i only really have one friend at a time ♯PlatonicMonogamist save for ninth grade #when everybody in my class was friends with one another Pretty much. BEST YEAR OF MY LOIF #SO MANY SHENANIGANS. & ! people would always mistake me for a weird effete fag ( which made me genuinely suicidal then )#i miss it so much - that one hag who will not stop talking about middle school years (2) after bac. graduation #^ last time i ever made a friend... feeling really pathetic right now Stares at the ceiling emptily with big blank sparkless anime girl eye #animorphs into a dog & lies down #i know exactly why i am alone BTW ( *in barks that you can perfectly understand* ) i will still lament about this anyway Le Sigh #here are my requirements: female; must be some degree of depraved; VIRGINS ONLY.#in spirit counts for that last one. then you can join my Gangstalking Circle ( smallest one in history )

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its-tortle · 6 months

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the first verse of get him back! is so addictive i am saying it to myself just all the time

#i met a guy in the summer and i left him in the spring. he argued with me about everything. he had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye.#he said he's six foot two and im like dude nice try.#but he was so much fun! and he had such weird friends! and he would take us out to parties and the night would never ened #another song another club another bar another dance #and when he said something wrong? he'd just fly me to france!#so i miss him some night when i'm feeling depressed til i remember every time he made a pass on my friend #do i love him? do i hate him? i guess it's up and down #if i had to choose i would say it right. now.#shut up tortle

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attaboy-art · 1 year

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Seeing your trans alfendi art I realized something.... Can I ask for.. T-trans hershel..... 😳😳

YES YOU MAY!

[Image ID: A collection of digital drawings on a grey background, two colored and two just line art, of Hershel Layton, Claire Foley, Lucille and Roland Layton, Randall Ascot, and Desmond Sycamore. On the far left is a colored drawing of Hershel in profile looking in the mirror with a blank expression on his face, wearing only brown pants and a dark grey chest binder. On the far right is a similar drawing of Hershel in the same outfit, looking ahead starstruck. Claire Foley is behind him, smiling, wearing a black button-up shirt and grey pants, with her arms behind her back. She's saying "Do you like it, Hershel? Does it fit well? Be honest!" and beneath them is a small sloppy drawing of Desmond Sycamore in the RDJ meme pose, saying "He is in awe and euphoric at the affirmation of his transgender beauty and power." In the top middle of the canvas is a lined drawing of a 17 year old Hershel wearing a baggy sweater and looking down at his chest while Randall stands in front of him smiling, saying "See? The sweater trick works great! You can keep this one." In the bottom middle is a lined drawing of Hershel in his 30s, sitting down with a blanket over his legs, wearing a compression vest with blood drains attached. His parents, Roland and Lucille, have arrived to take care of him, with Lucille carrying a bag of food and calling out his name. /.End ID.]

#im so sorry this took so long. im so sorru to EVERYONE whos been sending in requests #my life has become very. well. Its A Lot right now #BUT IM WORKING ON IT! and im working through these reqs #anyways. i think this is my first time posting a drawing of claire. honest to god its a crime that i havent drawn her more #I'm sorry queen #but AAANYWAYS . TRANSGENDERISM!!!!#it feels weird drawing hersh without his hat. i do it all the time i know but still #i took away his dot eyes the hats all hes got left!#anyways #hope u all enjoy :]#art #fanart #illustration #professor layton #hershel layton #claire foley #randall ascot #lucille layton #roland layton

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lunarharp · 2 years

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various witch stuff of the day or whatever the heck

#witch hat tag #orufrey #uhh yeah just getting some stuff out of the way haha i like the first one tho. i drew something that scares me #iguin must have been involved in qifrey's thing somehow. The Lidless eye..the sight of the world..i mean i think [redacted]#and he'll be [redacted] and [redacted] will be forced to... [redacted]???!?!!?#I want to keep my theories to myself.......or do i. not being a fandom person (other than dropping my art and leaving) means i just..#combust inside by myself with ideas and FEARS FOR THAT MAN.....CAN SOMEONE HELP HIM IM SO WORRIED IM SO...#CAN YOU LET SOMEONE HELP YOU #apparently tetia's expression in the last one is hard to understand =.= she's emotional bc she cant believe they remembered #the twin hat idea. and that she's so happy. i was thinking about how she was probably qif's first pupil so there must have been a time #where it was just her qif and oru... i DO think she is hinted strongly to be trans but even if not her mystery background is probably so sad #why would qifrey even become a teacher? his goal was the brimhats. but he keeps being distracted by kids with problem pasts so #he must have only been drawn to help tetia out of a deep sympathy. it seems at that point he and oru had drifted apart #did oru decide to be his watchful eye hearing about that or did qifrey ask him? he thought that qif had given up on brimhat stuff so..#*mumble mumble* lately i also keep remembering oru saying something UNREAL in kitchen like 'we're finally living under the same roof' ????#you can't just say that. what on earth. i..... whatever. i haven't even processed like 20% of my potential emotions about them #i feel so weirdly emotional today. i stopped thinking about witch hat for zuka even tho im SO hyperfixated it is genuinely PAINFUL to stop #i stopped just long enough to watch gatsby raku.... my haachan #i'm so grateful right now that i dont have any big issues in my life rn so i can get worried about manga men and sad about actors retiring #today at least i am extremely grateful. living and being alive is so so so so weird. i hope we all make it

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front-facing-pokemon · 10 months

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#angle under the cut where you can see their eyes because it is NOT very flattering from the front #sharpedo #this is the fucker that zooms after you like a missile in the swsh DLC‚ right? i think it also does that in sv. it's scary honestly #it's so fast. and it makes that big ol' zoomin' effect like the third nozzle in super mario sunshine. i don't remember what it's called but #it's the gray one. super mario sunshine is my favorite mario game which i feel like is not a very popular opinion #but it tracks because i had a gamecube as a kid. so games on that tend to be some of my favorites because nostalgia i guess #luigi's mansion‚ super mario sunshine‚ pokémon colosseum…#i could go on and on about these games. honestly. luigi's mansion is one of my favorites of all time. i still think it's great even as an #adult. it's much better than the other luigi's mansions in my opinion‚ though i guess my opinion Might be clouded by nostalgia #although i would like to think i can look back on it with a critical eye. i still replay it basically once a year cuz it's super short #i think it's super atmospheric and the later two luigi's mansion games don't really capture that same aesthetic #of… what basically amounts to like. a horror aesthetic. which is weird to say because it's a kids' game but #y'know i'm also not putting my whole brain into these tags right now bc i'm distracted but i hope i am making sense #fellow luigi's mansion fans know what i'm talking about. this is not about sharpedo so here is sharpedo #i believe this'll be posting on the last day of my outing when i'll be flying back home. so. finger's crossed #nope i just queued it and it's the day before i'm flying home. either way‚ good luck‚ future me

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kitkat-the-muffin · 11 months

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I know I haven’t finished my Webtoon design yet but now I’m contemplating personifying Thesaurus.com and Dictionary.com as like a set of twins maybe

Dictionary is friends with Wikipedia and Thesaurus is friends with Ao3, that’s they’re dynamic so far XD

What do you guys think? Should I make MORE OCs????? (Or maybe just do my homework so I have time to finish Webtoon)

#socialstuck #also tagging this as #cloutchase #because why not #I’m trying to replicate the Cloutchase art style in my Webtoon design just so it looks right #specifically the eyes #but now I feel weird about copying an art style #even if it’s only in the eyes #I wanna do that fanart challenge soon tho so I can draw something in my own style for once #I haven’t used my own style in a while •<•#not since 2022 I think actually

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the-casbah-way · 8 months

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i wish i could explain how hard it is to interact and function in the real world when you feel so deeply out of place and so ashamed and disgusted by your own existence and physical form i can't make eye contact with anyone i feel like someone is watching me constantly when i'm anywhere that isn't in my own bedroom i have to avoid speaking as much as possible i can't sit still because i'm always trying to fix everything that looks off about me even though i know i can't change any of it i don't feel like a person at all when i'm around other people. i feel like they don't see me as human i feel like they can just sense that i'm different and weird and it goes so much deeper than just being ugly i feel like i can't do anything or exist in front of anyone because i'm so embarrassed and disgusted by the idea of being perceived and every single thing about me is off and wrong and ugly and i've been trying to fix it all for as long as i can remember but i don't know where to start

#work is so fucking hard right now. i literally sit in a tiny office all day with two other people #but i still feel paralysed by the idea of being around others #i will genuinely avoid moving when they're in the room i'm so scared to do literally anything #in case it catches someone's eye even for half a second #i don't even know what this is or why i feel like this i don't usually feel this weird and bad about myself #i always have this underlying self hatred and i'll always be hyper aware of how ugly i am but this is different #it's like genuinely ruining my life i can't do fucking anything. i'm so scared of being looked at.

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elijah-loyal · 3 months

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dying again guys

(tag rant)