#my health has been insane

[lavenderbexlatte]

so basically i was very sick for months this summer and that has resulted in my losing a ton of hair recently, and spending many hours in hospital to try and reverse it. and then i got sick AGAIN, which i had to manage without the meds that gave me those side effects last time. and it's now exam season for my students and thus kinktober has been. temporarily abandoned.

i will fix it. but it will be some kind of kinkvember.

apologies for not being ahead of things 😕

#delete later #my health has been insane

[stuckinapril]

megan thee stallion is the perfect example of unbothered energy. nicki has repeatedly vagueposted about her, gone on unhinged rants about her, gone so far as to mention her dead mother (such a classless low blow), threatened her on live, and has now released the tackiest diss track in history. and what has megan done? literally nothing. she straight up ignored her, aside from that one ig story where she posted herself laughing (which was perfect btw). she is the epitome of “i will not dignify that w a response.” i love it.

#btw i was rly into megan before it became trendy now in light of her dropping hiss / the nicki debacle #nicki’s latest music has been ass anyway but it’s sad to see her behaving like this to newer rap girls #the parasocial hate is literally so intense / insane like i can’t imagine hating someone enough to be persistently harassing them like this #nicki’s a celeb so you’d think she’d know a thing or two about how dangerous it is to pit her fans on somebody else like this #unless this is all just a bid to stay relevant which i would not be surprised ab but nicki seems PRESSED. #i guess if i released something like pink friday 2 id also be feeling threatened by a new rap girl w the bars megan has #i just want her to leave my homegirl megan alone. good on megan for ignoring and living her best life. the energy i wanna emulate #i’m not usually one to play into the whole pit women against other women thing but nicki’s recent actions are so inappropriate. wild #btw megan majored in health administration in uni?? which is a major factor as to why i’m obsessed w her. anyway #text

[stinkyhyena9000]

Buster Moon Stimboard !!

For my Sing friends still out there, here's some food for y'all

🤍 💙 🤍 | 💙 🐨 💙 | 🤍 💙 🤍

Totally non-abrupt segway to a sentimental message:..

I just wanted to thank all of you for hosting such a lovely and wholesome fandom. I love we're a small community, but y'all have always made me feel so extremely loved, and I'm glad have had y'all be my first and sofar only fandom experience.

Please never stop making art and writing stories!

#I want to keep making sing videos so bad but there's a large assortment of reasons preventing me from doing so #(i say that like I haven't made a vid in like half a year) #anyways for starters I've fallen out of my over1yearlong Sing hyperfixation #It's kinda difficult for me to have motivation to spend hours on a video for a movie that I don't quite insanely love anymore #I've also been struggling to find time to watch the movie even though I very much have the time #something yada yada about ADHD and extreme time anxiety #I hope you all understand #(oh yeah also mental health has also been a detrimental but like ermm let's not talk about that y'all don't gotta hear about that lol) #ANYWAYSSSS #love y'all and please keep the fandom positive!! #buster moon #sing movie #sing 2016 #sing 2 #sing 2021 #mysing #koala stim #moon stim #star stim #blue stim #white stim #grey stim #eating stim #tie stim #red stim #fur stim #gray stim #yellow stim #stim #stimboard

[servalzz]

From what I’ve seen on the interwebs, this ship reminds me so much of pinky and pepper

#my mental health has been awful for the past few weeks but I’m back at it again with another insane vision #ultrakill #v2 ultrakill #mirage ultrakill

[justreckin]

Pretty sure half the reason I love Erica as much as I do is that she's actually okay. She's gone through shit, but she came out the other side and went "y'know, I'm not down with all this unresolved angst and poor coping mechanisms." Girl went to therapy and worked her shit out.

#erica ortegas #strange new worlds #she's the best #someone needs to look after their mental health okay? #have you seen this ship? #the captain's having a crisis of faith over his future #the first officers an illegal alien #the security officer only just started to go to therapy for her insane childhood trauma #the communications officer is still grieving the recent loss of her family #the science officer has daddy issues and dead sister issues and fiance issues and species issues that he can't talk about #the head nurse has ptsd and abandonment issues coming out her eyeballs #the cmo's probably the closest to being alright but he also just fought a guy to death so jury's out #one engineer's been killed #one engineer's an ancient thief #sorry for the tag rant #look i need more erica ortegas in my life and so do you

[tomatoluvr69]

Ohhhhhh my goddddddddd so I’ve basically been to the doctor three times since turning 18 and aging out of the pediatrician because of my horrible doctor fears and issues. So it’s a MOMENTOUS occasion and the culmination of years of glacial self-work that I felt ready FINALLY READY to sit down and make a doctors appointment for a routine visit!! Like that is give or take a decade in the making…….and all the ethereal alchemical elements were correct so I could finally do it this morning. But the clinic is closed and you can only do it weekdays ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ ok guess I am going to the doctor in 10 years probably. See you 2034

#the year when the water riots destroy Los Angeles finally #i want to go bc I need an inhaler and a blood panel ;-; #that’ll be $200 total probably!!!!!! agghdgdgdh #ok lucky for me my tax statement from 2023 was lowwwww bc I did most of my work under the table… #me who is low income when services for low income exist: but that’s 4 ppl who really need it!!!!! meanwhile I only eat dried beans #but basically I’ll probably make a bit more this year so I might try to get all the 10 years of accumulated cavities taken care of now #while it only costs 6 months’ paycheck and not 6 years! #I’ve got a really insane visible hole in my canine it’s soooo bad #:-/ #the thing is that my mental health is so good rn I’m like wtf was I doinggggggg and I get so mad at myself. how quickly we forget the #horrors… #and also my hope is that since it’s a low income clinic they’ll be really kind to me when they tell me I have 18 cavities :-( #also me who has slipped through the cracks of the healthcare system due to mental health and gets flagged by social services meant to catch #people slipping through the cracks: but you guys should focus on the ppl who REALLY need it!!!!! I’m literally fine *dies of completely #preventable ailment that would’ve been flagged by routine bloodwork*

[stars-n-spice]

Whenever I watch Bad Batch, I watch it with my mom's cat, Snoopy, (who is currently isolated due to health and safety reasons)-

Anyways, she's a menace to society but she's really cute so I let things slide. She has this habit of,, fuckin biting and scratching me even when I'm doing absolutely nothing, so whenever I'm watching Bad Batch, if she's not having zoomies she's gnawing on me like I'm a bone.

But when I was watching the Juggernaut episode, halfway into the commandeering the vehicle scene I realized there was no little menace attacking me and I couldn't hear her bell zooming around the room.

Then I looked down and saw this:

For the ENTIRE scene of them in the vehicle, she was perfectly still and watching the show.

She only moved to look at me when I took these photos because my phone has a bell charm, but after that she went right back to watching the show.

It was so cute, I love indoctrinating our cats.

#i think she really liked the explosions #she's like omega though because she's been isolated for forever now due to multiple health reasons #she's alright now though! #currently recovering from surgery (hence the onesie) #but this cat has so much energy it's insane #and she is ALWAYS ready for a fight #this is the first time i caught her actually watching the show with me #she's my little padawan i love her #yeah my mom named her cat snoopy #tbb #tbb spoilers #tbb s3

[vraska-theunseen]

google how to not be sosososo anxious all the time. its not even like stress that motivates me to get things done it's just like. i make a mistake and misunderstood instructions in class and my teacher is like "you were supposed to figure out precisely where 180 was before taping the draft and punching your marks" when i like an idiot guesstimated it and after a moment of me going "oh..." bc its something i can't fix bc i've already punched in all the holes on the part he's like "i think you'll be okay" and goes back to what he's doing and then for three hours im like he's so annoyed with me i bring things to him too much and ask him too many questions and make the stupidest mistakes every day he hates me. i ask a friend something and they don't respond because they're busy or forget about it or don't see it or any number of other reasons and then a couple weeks later i send them something else and they don't respond for a few hours and its enough time for me to convince myself i said something a while ago that they took offense to without realizing and they're ignoring me and i send another message saying "are you mad at me did i do something can you tell me what i did so we can work it out" and he's like "what?". a friend posts about people treating them badly in a way that's clear they're talking about a specific phenomenon or person and im always like omg are they talking about me did i do something bad and not realize it... and its someone i talk to so infrequently and casually it obviously would not be a concern or someone i've known for so many years that they would obviously come to me if there was any conflict that arose. help

#alex talks #one time that friend from the second example had to rescind an invitation for me to come to shabbat dinner bc he said his parents were #hosting an important rabbi and didn't want their sons friends dicking around in the house and i was like ok i get it and then another friend #mentioned to me something that implied they were still going to the friend's house and i had 2 class periods to stew and get anxious and #paranoid and think like does he hate me? does he just not want to invite me specifically? do his parents not like me did they ask him not to #invite me specifically? and then in advisory we're both just sitting there and im like 'so do your parents hate me' and he's like 'what????' #and i'm like 'jakob said they were still going to your house' and he's like '????? my parents told jakobs parents they could come and stay #overnight bc their parents are out of town so jakob has to come over' and i was like 'oh. sorry' and felt so bad about it for the entire day #honestly? now that im thinking about it so many times i've been like manic in that friends dms about something they said that i've made 10 #leaps of logic over so in my head they said a completely different thing but to them i just sound insane and like i'm taking them in the #most bad faith i possibly can. which i guess really i am but i just get so worried #hm i guess manic is a specific word for a mental health symptom idk how else to describe it like i call him and leave a voicemail where ive #worked myself to tears over something i can't even remember now. maybe hysteric? #nobody reads these right

[lizbethborden]

One of my employees started to cry when I told her I was leaving and told me that she feels so lost, another one sent me her resume to have me ask the owners at my new job if she can come work for me lol

#this has been a very strange experience in the sense of #my previous job was a nightmarish catastrophe that really destroyed my mental health #i suffered horribly with those people and they hated me #having people get upset when they hear i'm leaving and want to follow me out is actually insane

[doedipus]

One of those days

#I feel like every time I go anywhere everyone around stares at me like they hate me or they're scared of me #between that and the wwgg debacle I feel like I'm actually going to go insane #everyone in the world wants nothing to do with me #I want to just stay inside and rot #and my birthday is coming up in a few days amd that's just a huge reminder that I pissed my life away #and now I probably will never get to move on from this place #cuz my folks are both in poor health and have no support network to speak of #plus that weird shit that happened with my eye last year has been going on for a few days #it feels like there's something serious wrong with my brain #cuz there's other concerning stuff too #but again I'm kind of in limbo with insurance so #idk #I'm just gonna sleep it off

[xannerz]

if i don’t get a raise tomorrow.

#LOOK this has been an insanely stressful summer. #I’ve been $tretched thin due to familial obligations and growing expenses #one of my coworkers didn’t get a raise earlier this summer and I’m shitting bricks for myself bc I’ve been busting my ass lol #works gotten more stressful and I’ve been too anxious to take sick days even when I need them #I actually like my job but I’ve been depressed and burned out as fuck #my moms health has been yo-yoing #I’m watching aze tiptoe towards arm genowside … 2!!! #my psych upped my dose 2x and my meds just don’t feel as effective anymore #my homophobic mom’s been scrutinizing my ‘friendship’ w my gf lol #and it’s causing tension btwn us whenever it comes up #my weights been fluctuating and I haven’t made a lot of progress #and I’ve had to start taking bentyl for my cringefail stomach LMAOOO #I feel very sad and defeated!! I’m helping support my family a lot! I’m happy to help! but things are very very very hard rn!! #this isn’t a cry for help I’m just venting but good vibes are appreciated Ty 😔 #xangoeswah

[goldiipond]

genuinely do not know what i will do if this site dies. it is literally the only social media with a slightly tolerable design like i canot live without my insane tag ramblings what about my tags. what about skye

#skye's ramblings #plus i'll be real this site has been my only source of human connection outside my family and one friend #my health has taken a downward spiral this year especially i cant leave my house. like its fucken sad but tumblr's all i have #i need people to see my art i need a place to be shamelessly insane and autistic. they're gonna have to chase me out w a broom idont caare #yeeah theres discord but man its not the same. discords a messaging app and brother there is nothing that scares me more. than messages #this is hopefully nothing though im just talking. if the site dies mutuals can find me scuttling around my friends discord servers <3

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

something something in the worst of being locked in The Eternal Bathroom mark's memory calls for peter for whatever twisted version of comfort he can conjure up and shove into his silhouette because he's past deserving his beloved sister, but strahm's exactly where he should've been done for. that would've been more acceptable of a demise. and for the weakest moment, he wishes.

#mark hoffman #i love the thought. of him just hearing peter's voice in the dark and freezing. he has been starting to slow his fighting and his voice's #barely there anymore from his screaming. calling for help. raging against his chain. cursing john kramer and lawrence gordon and all. #it's only bc he's not incensed by all that fury that he can hear him. it's so fucking. difficult to hear it almost like he's barely there #and he knows. he knows peter ain't there but it makes him anxious. it calls for a desperation. it's irrational but he wants. #just to hear someone else. no. specifically him. he wants to hear him. he wants to hear what was done to his throat so he could escape #and he wants to be snarled at by him. he wants to hear that 'i know you' again. he wants someone to know him. #any him. just. please. will someone just fucking stay with him? #hahAHAHHHH WENT A LITTLE INSANE FOR A SEC..... #pookie suffering is bad for my health but damn. i want to see him in all kinds of Situations. #love you murder machine pookie #now go through The Horrors for me <3 #saw franchise #sawposting

[selective-yellow]

I'm really proud of how much better my relationship with weed has gotten. I was definitely using it to cope through the pandemic, grief and my sister's cancer scare, and then with my job hatred - I was taking edibles like candy just to feel good, space out, and to sleep. Now I only take some on Fridays and the weekend. I find meditation impossible but a nice edible a video and my tablet at the ready - I think that's the closest I can get

#weed mention #the fact that i no longer feel like i NEED it to sleep says so fucking much about my mental health now its insane #it's only been a month since i quit my old job but the difference is incredible #I'm trying to gain weight too so encouraging myself to eat instead of just coping has probably helped as well

[haemosexuality]

i feel like im probably gonna be talking about this a lot here since i cant talk to Her about it and it really is bothering me so much

#but i feel bad about this too bc it just feels like im talking about her behind her back. which i am kind of. aughhhhhh #its just. idk large age gaps have just Always bothered me no matter how much my opinions on everything else change!!! i think its a bad idea #and dangerous! almosf everyone else she knows thinks its fine so maybe i am just annoying and insane but i literally cant change how i feel #ive tried #like theres. so much that could go wrong here #hes 10 Years Older. hes had experience dating. hes been an adult for 13 years #shes 21. has basically 0 experience dating. and her mental health is really not great #like she just realized she liked men too a few months ago and shes been in this cycle of getting really really obsessed with guys older than #her really fast and everything they do really affect her. she has trouble recognizing sus behavior and is too afraid of upsetting ppl to her #own detriment #i really hope that this guy is normal (as normal as you can be when ur 31 being with a 21 yr old) but if hes not then this has the potential #to go so so bad #and im worried #no one else seems to be tho so idfk!!! am i just too child brained compared to people who date. maybe. but im so worried