Dracula Isn't My Roommate
I’m not a conspiracy theorist. I don’t believe in Jewish space lasers or that the Earth is secretly flat, or that vaccines cause autism or whatever. So why would I believe that my roommate is a bloodsucking beast?
Okay, so he’s charming. Even I can admit that. He’s always bringing home people, but that’s usually not a problem because I like to spend my nights partying. I’ll come home in the morning and see someone in his bed, but that’s normal, right? Especially if they’re gone by the time I return from class.
He’s pale, sure, but that’s not unusual. I mean, this is Oregon, we’re not exactly known for being tan here. Or maybe he has a skin condition; I haven’t asked, because that’s none of my business.
He has an aversion to Christianity, but like, who doesn’t? All it takes is being forced to go to church one too many times by your parents to make your skin crawl when someone points out a wall of crucifixes in someone’s dorm. Honestly, I’d rather spend time with the Wiccans down the hall than the Jesus freaks on the floor above us. At least they know how to have a good time without talking about the end of the world.
I’ve never really seen him eat or drink, but that’s probably because the food in the dining hall is awful. I mean, I’ll eat it, but I’ll eat anything at least once, so I’m not exactly a good metric for that kind of thing. He does carry around one of those giant Hydro Flask bottles, so I guess he’s at least staying hydrated, which is good.
He’s an exchange student, which explains his accent, although I’ve never been able to place it. Maybe he’s from eastern Europe? He knows a lot about the culture in that area, so it would make sense.
He doesn’t talk about his parents very much. I brought it up with him once, and he just shrugged and said that he had to leave them because of differences in their ideologies. I told him it must have been hard, coming to America without their support, and he laughed, saying something about how no one checks a dog’s tags when they come here.
(I still don’t really know what he meant by that. Maybe it’s an idiom in his original language?)
Once, as a joke, I called him Drac. I didn’t get the full name out, but he looked at me so intensely that I apologized and said it was an American joke. He nodded, but he seemed more subdued for the rest of the day.
He’s not all doom and gloom. Like I said, he’s very charming, and a lot of people like his accent. He also knows a lot about, well, everything, or close to it. I brought up Swiss watches once because my grandpa left me one in his will, and he went on a fifteen minute explanation of how watches became a Swiss staple. It was fascinating.
(Maybe he’s just autistic and knows a lot about things in general?)
He’s a good listener, too. One night, I think it was in October, we just sat around in our room. I was stoned (don’t tell my RA) and rambling on about something stupid, I can’t even remember, and he was just nodding, occasionally asking questions. I felt like he was actually hearing me, not just being polite.
Oh my god. I think I know what’s happening.
I have a crush on my roommate.
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So I was watching what we do in shadows recently, and all I could think about is your gathered night plot, and then went “but what if those four had to share a flat one way or another? And had a crew come over?”
And I came up with one particular scenario.
Cameraman: so, Mr. Harker. What’s it like sharing a home with three other vampires?
Johnny: this place can hardly be considered my home. *He pauses* I suppose Louis and I have certain….things in common. The other two? Well…it gets….loud
*camera cuts to Lestat and Dracula screaming at each other over who stole Who’s cosmetics, saved bottles of blood, and who takes too much time in the shower*
*cuts back to Johnny*
Johnny: ….very loud
I still have to watch WWDITS, but Oh. My. God. @grimgrinningghosts456. I love this. Sign me tf up.
If I ever do an alternative version of The Gathered Night, this gotta be in it. Maybe a few more hypotheticals:
Jonathan would be exhausted because Vlad and Les keep fighting over who's turn it is with the piano. As a compromise, both settle on blaring rock songs from their stereo instead. At the same time. Through the whole house. Say hello to a constant migraine.
Louis would be constantly annoyed, having to redo and tidy up after minor little slip ups of Jonathan. A misplaced book, an unmade bed, a stolen tie. Just take the trash out now, for heaven's sake.
Les takes the longest in the bathroom and doesn't understand the chore plan. Or rather, refuses to. Aggressively. Dramatically.
Vlad... Is just Vlad I guess. A bastard, like always. Probably the one who stole Louis' cufflinks.
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