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izzylovesyou2022 · 10 months
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Poetic Love~ Mat Barzal (pt 1)
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TW: none
"Wild nights - Wild nights!
Were I with thee
Wild nights should be
Our luxury!"
Calliope Scarlett Black had never been what someone considered normal. This didn't surprise her--poets, after all, were not normal.
Her tangled half-red, half-brown hair was pulled up into a tight bun as she paced the living room of the house where she lived with her best friend since three years old, hockey player Mat Barzal.
Her green eyes fluttered over the book she'd been holding and her hands tightened on the binding, trying to memorize this latest poem.
"Futile - the winds -
To a Heart in port -
Done with the Compass -
Done with the Chart!"
Her hand waved out to the side as she threw her head backward, half out of frustration and half out of dramatics. Memorizing poems wasn't as easy as people thought. Even if one was only doing it for a youtube channel, like Calliope was.
She paced by the couch once more and sounded out the first stanza of the poem again. Her eyes narrowed in consideration as she let one part of the book slip from her hand. The first stanza had been memorized--good, now for the second stanza.
She closed her eyes and brought the image of the words to her head. Picturing strong wilds and rushing waves and stormy clouds.
She shouted out the second stanza perfectly and then picked up the book to look over the third stanza.
"Rowing in Eden -
Ah - the Sea!
Might I but moor - tonight -
In thee!"
She dropped onto the couch with one arm swung over the back and closed her eyes, panting even though she'd done nothing really tiring. Physically, at least.
"I don't think you've found a poem you haven't memorized yet, starshine."
Calliope's lips twitched in amusement and she opened one eye to see Mat walking in, wearing a green hoodie and black sweatpants. His eyebrows were quirked upward and a smirk tugged at the edge of his lips.
"I've been memorizing poetry since we were 10 years old, Mattie," she answered back, slamming her book shut with something like finality, "I haven't had a poem lick me yet."
Mat patted the top of Calliope's head, chucking at her loud grunt and the hand slapping his own away, and sat next to her, tucking one foot underneath him.
"By the way, that more sounds out of place," he said, then, seeing how her eyes narrowed at him in confusion, he added, "that line about might I moor-tonight-in thee."
Calliope carefully placed the book onto it's spot on the coffee table and shook her head.
"No, not m-o-r-e, Mattie, it's m-o-o-r. It's a British noun meaning "an expanse of open rolling infertile land" but it can also mean that you're anchored. What Emily Dickinson is talking about is anchoring her ship into the sea and staying there."
Mat should have been used to it by now--Calliope had been raised in a literature family and had been studying poetry for years--but, how could one get used to the amazement of a friend knowing so many words and definitions?
"I can't see why anyone would want to do that, starshine," he admitted, draping an arm over the back of the couch, "the sea is so unknown."
Calliope didn't look up from her phone, but her soft laugh could easily be heard by Mat's keen ears.
"That's exactly why she'd want to be anchored there, Mattie," she said, finally catching his eye, "it's the unknown that's exciting! It's the thrill of the wild and the adventure to come that makes a person shiver and wonder!"
Mat sucked in a breath at the look in her eyes but didn't show--outwardly, at least--that he held anything more than amusement for her poetic rant.
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midnightsnyx · 1 year
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allie's writing guide
requests are currently open.
what i write
reader x character
one shots/drabbles
imagines
alternative universes
social media au’s
headcanons
who i write
RPF: hockey players x reader
criminal minds
aaron hotchner
spencer reid
the hunger games
finnick odair
harry potter
remus lupin
sirius black
the last of us
joel miller
sentence starters here & here & here I don’t write smut/NSFW.
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Never Ever Have I
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Summary: Hooking up with Evie was supposed to be quick and meaningless for Sidney Crosby. Then the one night stand became a regular thing. Quickly he realized just how special Evie would turn out to be and how his future would be forever altered by the beauty who brought the spice into his life
Author’s Note- In honor of @princessphilly​ Tumblr anniversary, here is some Crosby smut. It was originally intended as a one-shot but Sidney/Evie took up residence in my writing mind and demanded a full story. This story explores the BDSM lifestyle. Everything done is with consent and within established parameters(will be discussed in the story). It doesn't get very dark, but just fair warning that there is a lot of SMUT.
Warnings- Light kink, unprotected sex, alcohol use
Evie poured another drink into her red solo cup. She wasn’t sure how she got dragged to yet another hockey party with Adriana, but here she was. At least this was a NHL party so the alcohol and food were top shelf compared than the beer league parties of her brief, but slutty hockey career. The post-game party in the arena bar was a definite improvement over the beers and shots in the rink parking lot. She felt the muscular brunette stand next to her and ponder the alcohol selection. “Go with the tequila. It’s premium,” she suggested.
Sidney turned and smirked, “Tequila makes me drunk.”
Evie raised an eyebrow, “Isn’t the the point of all alcohol?” She walked away and felt his gaze as she took her seat. He sat on the opposite of the make-shift circle of chairs.
A game of “Never Ever Have I” had just started. Evie rolled her eyes at the first statement, “Never Ever Have I have kissed a girl” in the group.  She took a drink and gave a look at Sidney who also took a drink. Sidney returned her gaze and noted her actions.
The second statement was  “Never Ever Have I won a Stanley Cup?”. The entire team groaned, “Lame!” and took a drink. Evie called out, “I think it should be a drink for each cup!” Sidney raised his cup and drank two more times.
The third statement was “Never Ever Have I had a threesome”. Evie groaned as she drank and finished her cup as Sidney groaned to himself and felt his cock stir. She got up and went to grab another drink. Her leather skater skirt bouncing as her hips swayed. Evie brought the bottle back with her. This time she sat in the seat next to Crosby. “Really, threesome?” he asked as she filled his cup. 
“What can I say?” she responded coyly, “It was a fun and slutty time.” 
The game had made around to Sidney, “Never Ever Have I had sex in a locker room” and turned to Evie to watch her response. She began to take a sip before asking, “Wait, how are we defining sex?”
Sidney smirked, “Anyway you want.”
Evie shrugged, “I don’t know why I asked. I have done both.” He bent over and breathed into her ear, “That’s two drinks for you then.”
She licked her lips and took a long sip before placing her hand on his thick thigh.“ Mr. Crosby, are you trying to get me drunk,” she asked coyly, giving his thigh a squeeze. 
“Mr. Crosby, I like the sound of that,” he moaned into her ear, “I am not trying to you drunk. I am trying to get you horny.”
Evie stood up and adjusted her skirt as she got up, letting her hips sway as she walked from the muscled man, “Save my seat, Mr. Crosby. I will be right back.” Sidney licked his lips and adjusted his pants to camouflage his cock that was stirring underneath his pants. Evie returned and took her seat again, her skirt riding up her to expose her bare thigh. She leaned over and placed her damp panties in his hand before kissing his cheek, “Just in case you needed proof of how well you accomplished your mission. Mr. Crosby. You are such an overachiever.” He felt his cock twitch again as Evie squirmed in her seat, squeezing her thighs together, eliciting a soft moan. 
He reached down and grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the door. She laughed as she practically jog in her high heels to keep up with his long strides. “Mr. Crosby, wherever are we going?” she purred as he walked with a purpose.
He turned to look at her, “You have me at a disadvantage. I don’t even know your name.”
She caught him to him and bit her lip, “Evie” as she palmed his crotch, “Now where are you taking me?”
He removed her hand and began walking again, “You forgot the Mr. Crosby, but I am taking you downstairs.”
The elevator door opened and they entered it together, “What’s downstairs, Mr. Crosby?”
His eyes darkened, “I think you know.” The elevator door shut and he pushed her up against the elevator wall. His hand sliding under her skirt, across her bare ass, and finally resting his palm on top of her dripping pussy. Evie whimpered as the light pressure against her clit and the elevator came to a stop. When the doors opened, Crosby again walked with purpose. “So tell me how you had sex in a locker room, Evie. Are you some sort of puck bunny?”
Evie came to a complete standstill, “Puck bunny? No, I just wanted a fucking penalty called on me.”
Sidney turned, “What?”
She continued as they walked, “It was my first season of beer league. I wasn’t getting on the score sheet with my limited skills so I started chirping at the ref to at least give me a penalty. I was relentless for three games so he finally broke down and made me the offer. If a gave him a blowjob, he would give a penalty. Because I am not an idiot and he was hot in that "hockey boy" sort of way, I waited until he gave me the two minutes for tripping before I blew him in the Refs locker room.” 
They had arrived at the Penguins locker room and Sidney pushed the door open. “Oh Mr. Crosby, I do believe that we are at your office,” she moaned as he pressed her back against the door and lifted her skirt, sliding his fingers through her dripping folds. 
“Fuck, you are so hot, “ he groaned as slid a finger into her. “So when did you get fucked in a locker room?” he grunted as she unbuckled his pants and pushed his pants/boxers down with her foot. “Well, Mr. Crosby, since a penalty cost me a blowjob, an assist cost me a fuck.”
He slide a finger into her dripping pussy, “And how did you get fucked?”
She moaned as he slowly finger fucked her, "Bent over the bench- from behind." Sidney lifted her up easily and carried her to the bench. She looked up at him with lust filled eyes.
"Assume the position," he commanded.
"Yes, Sir," she purred as she turned around and got on her knees, bending over the bench.
 She lifted her skater skirt to reveal her firm ass and wet pussy. She spread her legs as he stroked his cock, "Good girl, just like that."
Evie looked over her shoulder and whimpered, "Mr. Crosby, are you going to fuck me or just jack off?"
Sidney shook his head at the mischievous twinkle in her eye, "Fuck, I love when you call Mr. Crosby," as he thrust deep into her.
"Oh yes, you feel so good Sir," she moaned as she bucked back on his large, thick cock. "Good girl, fuck my cock like the slutty good girl that you are."
Her hips gyrated as he fucked her, "Please Sir, fuck me harder. You feel so good in my pussy."
He reached around and began to rub her clit in circles, "Do you want to cum for me? Do you want cum all over my cock?" She moaned louder, pressing her hand over his fingers to adjust the angle and apply more pressure. 
The sounds of their sex echoed through the room. Evie’s moans became louder and guttural. Her body began to shudder as he nibbled her neck. “Mr. Crosby, may I come soon? I need to cum all over you,” she panted. His hands help her hips firmly as he continued to thrust.
He felt her muscles clench tighter and milk him. “Yes Evie, you may come for Daddy.” The words pushed her over the edge and she screamed out in ecstasy. Sidney pulled out and sprayed his cum all over her ass. His eyes widened as she took cum onto her finger and sucked it. “Mmmmm, a special treat for me. It’s too bad you couldn’t fill me with your cum.” 
Sidney got up and found a towel. He gently cleaned Evie’s ass and  gently patted her pussy dry. Evie stood and adjusted her skirt and Sidney slid her panties back into his pocket. She watched as he buckled his pants slowly, “Thank you Mr. Crosby. That was quite enjoyable.”
He looked at her softly, “So can I see you again?”
"If you want" she smiled and replied, “It depends. I am surprised that you haven’t asked me about the threesome.”
Evie laughed, “Don’t get protective on my behalf. I was going to do all of those things without getting anything in return. He offered though so why not?”
His eyebrows rose, “I assume that the threesome was in payment for a goal, correct? You know I could help you with your hockey skills so you don’t have to whore yourself out for goals.”
Sidney placed the soiled towels in the bin, “So what would a threesome cost me? You know, in hockey terms.”
Evie laughed, “to watch only? That would take a hat trick. To participate? That takes a Cup.”
Sidney nodded, “Be prepared at the end of the season. I intend to collect. “
Evie looked up at the engraved nameplate above the locker room. “Mr. Crosby, are you going to think of me tomorrow when you get dressed to go out on the ice? Will your cock twitch every time you sit here and look at the place where you lost your locker room cherry?” she purred.
Sidney laughed, “Yeah, I think I might.” 
Next chapter- https://starshine-hockey-girl.tumblr.com/post/661242676070514688/authors-note-for-some-reason-evie-and-sidney
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princessphilly · 3 years
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Good morning tumblr!
Big rig smut under the cut. This is @spine-buster, @lilprincetrashmouth and @texanstarslove fault
You resisted the urge to giggle around the cock in your mouth. Jamie was trying so hard to focus on his exit interview but you were doing your best to make that hard for him. You couldn’t help yourself, you missed him that much.
Licking the tip, you began to suck as you moved your hand up and down his shaft. Glancing up, your eyes met his and you winked. Jamie was barely able to keep the groan out of his voice, managing just to turn it into a cough. “Just clearing my voice, he said as you began to bob up and down his length.
You tried to drag it out, intending to torture him as his hips began to rise to the ministrations of your mouth. Then you heard the exit interview end, Jamie deeply sigh, and his hands frame your face.
“You’re so bad,” he groaned as he began to fuck your mouth. “Trying to distract me during an interview.”
You moaned around his cock as it twitched in your mouth. “Want me to cum in your mouth,” Jamie asked.
You managed to nod before tasting the first drops of his seed on your tongue. Jamie came in your mouth, salty yet welcome as he grunted. When he was done you let his cock out of your mouth, showing Jamie his seed in your mouth before you swallowed with a grin.
“Good girl.”
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tsegss · 5 years
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can you do a tyler seguin blurb? it can be about anything
“How do you do it?”
“How do I do what?” You clarified, trying your best to ignore as you walked through the kitchen, tidying up the mess from earlier.
“Pretend you’re okay.” Tyler said simply from the edge of the room, his arms crossed as he watched you. He said it so nonchalantly too, and thats what really made you mad. He said it like it was nothing, like he was asking about your day or the weather outside.
“I’m not pretending.” You spoke as you turned around so that you were looking directly at him, trying to keep your voice steady.  He began to approach you.
“Yes you are, every single day.” He whispered as his hand gently brushed your arm. “It breaks my heart.”
“Tyler-“ You started, unwrapping your arms, but he was quick to stop you taking your hand and covering it with both of his. His massive kitchen felt miniature now, and it was if the walls were closing in on you, as your heart raced.
“No, no.” He began. “Please just let me talk.” He paused and you nodded, letting him know that you would listen. “You have been taking care of everyone, except yourself. He wouldn’t have wanted this, you know that. And, I know I’m the last person you want to talk to right now, okay, I know that. But, I can’t just sit back and watch you do this to yourself.” He kept talking, but you weren’t listening. Your blood was boiling, here he was thinking he could just waltz back into your life like this, it was unacceptable, and you couldn’t let it happen anymore.
“You’re right, Tyler.” You said interrupting him. “You are the last person I want to talk to. You have no right to come here and do this. Not now and not ever. I don’t know if you remember, but you were the one who wrecked us, not me.” His face was frozen as verbally vomited all the words you swore you would say to him if you ever got the chance.  But, suddenly it just all became to much, all the emotion coming to the surface, and you just needed it to end, for him to leave, for good this time.
“Go home.” You spoke after taking a deep breath.
“I can’t.” He squeaked. “You are my home.”
“Was.” You breathed, as his face crinkled. “I was your home.”
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baevillier · 4 years
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Part 1 of the dad!biz series is posted!!!
Check it out here!
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quasar-concept · 3 years
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Writeblr Introduction!
Hi friends! I’m new to writeblr, and thought I would make a post to a) introduce myself and b) find some new blogs to follow!
Just a quick disclaimer: this blog isn’t strictly for my writing, but everything will be clearly tagged. #persea writes things and #book babble are the ones for writing and books
About me ~~~
Name: Persea
Pronouns: they/them
Star sign, despite not really being into astrology: Libra ☾ Libra ☀ Aries ↑
Fast Facts:
I play the drums (6 years and counting)
I love jazz music
I follow the Carolina Hurricanes (NHL) despite never having been to either Carolina
I also love rock and alt music
I’m a huge thespian
I follow the Panasonic Panthers (JVA), and have, actually, been to Osaka
I’m a nerd who knows lots of random space things :D
About my writing ~~~
I often write a lot of fanficiton, which you can read over on Archive of Our Own, some of which I really like, and none of which is edited lol.
I like to write sci-fi and fantasy, and I often put a lot of world building into my writing. This is half a measure of procrastination, and half because I really enjoy it.
My writing style has changed so much since I started writing in year 6 (thankfully!) and it’s really awesome to see how it’s developed and changed. I used to really, really enjoy writing in the first person (and was sort of meh about it in reading) but now all of my work is in third person. I like snarky, all-knowing narrators. My dialogue used to be clunky and unnatural to the point of being distracting, and just yucky in general, but I feel like it’s improved a lot over the years.
Unfortunately for me, I’m not just a busy person, but a relatively slow writer. I usually write in bursts of no more than 600 words, and then get distracted.
Current Projects ~~~
At risk of sounding cliche, I’ve written some basic summaries for my WIPs
DAMN MY BLOOD | novel | fantasy
While preparing of expedition, the first prince of a matriarchal kingdom is kidnapped by pirates, including the guy he hooked up with, despite promising his sister he wouldn’t.
Things are more complex than they seem as Darius unravels a convoluted plot to restore the pirate’s lost treasure.
PARALLAX | novel | science fiction
a rewrite of my very first, generously-termed novella
A covert group of specialised undercover agents join a growing rebellion against the ruling government. They uncover a shocking plot that derails their plans, and in the midst of the fighting they receive orders that may put the group in even more danger than simply being behind enemy lines.
Come and chat with me! ~~~
Feel free to send me asks and tag me in things! I like answering questions and talking to people about stuff! I’m just Australian, I don’t bite, I promise //jk, lh
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izzylovesyou2022 · 10 months
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Poetic Love~ Mat Barzal (pt 2)
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The aroma of spaghetti filled the house as Mat walked down the hallway to the kitchen. He laughed quietly to himself and stopped at the fridge.
"Spaghetti again, starshine? Why am I not surprised?"
Calliope turned from the stove, one hand popped up against her hip, and narrowed her green eyes at Mat.
"Hmm, and this coming from someone who ordered take-out every day before I lived with you, sir?"
Mat had the decency to pretend to look embarrassed at her words and crossed his arms over his chest, his lips drawn into a pout.
"Aww, c'mon, starshine! You know I can't cook as well as you! You make the best food."
Calliope could only roll her eyes and reached down to turn down the temperature of the stove. She bit her lips to try and hide her smile.
"Then maybe you can help me cook tonight, Mattie. After all, I can't do all of it!"
Mat's shoulders slumped in mock defeat as he made his way over to the stove.
"Looks like you've already got the meat in there," he said, taking the spoon Calliope handed him and started to work on breaking up the meat.
The twitching lips was the only response Mat got from his friend as her hands worked on opening the tomato cans sitting on the counter.
"Well, yeah, I know how much you like your meat, Mattie."
Mat didn't catch the look down Calliope sent his way and instead laughed.
"Us hockey players have too, starshine. Can't be strong without meat," he stated, taking the can of diced tomatoes she handed him and pouring it into the pot.
Calliope shrugged her shoulders in an "eh, whatever" kind of way and tossed the can opener into the sink.
"Besides, Mattie, I'm part Italian, and us Italians like our pasta and our pizza."
Mat made no reply to her comment and instead took the next can of diced tomatoes she handed him.
Calliope scooted the last can of tomatoes in the direction of the stove and pushed herself up onto the counter, smiling.
"It's so peaceful like this, Mattie," she said, swinging her legs like someone who needs constant movement often did, "when we're cooking together."
Mat squeezed her knee with gentle fingers and poured the sauce into the pot.
"It is nice," he admitted, looking at Calliope from under his eyelashes while stirring the sauce around, "it stops me from being a hockey player for a while and makes me just...Mat."
Calliope reached out her hand and plucked a piece of dust from Mat's hair.
"Oops, I know you don't like things in your hair, Mattie," she giggled out, slipping off the counter to throw the dust away.
"....except for your hands," Mat whispered, but Calliope didn't hear him. She got distracted by grabbing plates and forks from the cabinets and setting up the table.
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izzylovesyou2022 · 2 years
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You Own My Heart, Dearest Love~ Mat Barzal (pt 1)
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A/N: some of the poems you might see in this fic are mine. They will be marked with an *
Poetry had always been my greatest joy and my hardest trial. I'd been writing it since the day I turned eleven, but still had not published a book. It wasn't that I didn't want too, I did, but I felt I needed some time before I did anything like that.
I took a second to look up from the Emily Dickinson book I'd been reading to stare out the window. The leaves from our backyard tree fell gently to the ground and the sky had never looked prettier. The sun shining through the window hit me right in the heart and warmed me all up.
I'd been living in New York with Mat since his rookie year and I never stopped awing at how beautiful the city could be, especially in this season of autumn.
I put my bookmark in to keep my place and stood up, stretching my arms above my head. Mat would be home any minute and be asking me if I'd written anything today. He most likely wouldn't be surprised that I had.
I wandered back into the kitchen and placed my fingers over the notebook laying on the table. I traced over the binding and smiled to myself. Mat had bought me this book two years ago and I'd faithfully used it since day one.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine! You make me happy when skies are gray!"
A loud giggle escaped my lips as I looked up to see Mat coming in the door, his eyes bright and shining like usual.
"Matty!"
Mat laughed and took off his gray beanie, tossing it carelessly onto the small table that sat by the door.
"The boys were asking about you today, sunshine. They want to know, especially Beau, when you're coming to see them."
I made my way over to him so I could take his jacket and rolled my eyes. Beau was Mat's best friend and teammate, Anthony Beauvillier. He'd become like an older brother to me and always complained about not seeing me enough.
"Yeah, I'll come tomorrow, Matty. Even if just to shut Beau up," I told him, taking his light brown jacket and walking towards the hallway closet.
"That'll make Beau happy, bestie," Mat yelled back at me as I heard his feet bounce towards the kitchen.
My heart fluttered at the name he'd called me and I stared into the closet, trying to calm myself. I'd had an on and off crush on him for years, but lately my heart had been beating a little to fast for it to be called a crush anymore. It had to be love.
I stepped out of the closet and closed the door behind me before heading towards the kitchen, where Mat was rummaging through our fridge.
"He's easy to please," I informed him, pulling my notebook away from the edge of the table before it fell.
Mat shrugged his large shoulders and grinned at me once he'd closed the fridge.
"Kinda like you, eh, sunshine?"
I scoffed and tried to tell myself that his hazel eyes weren't making my breath hitch in my throat.
"No, I think it's more like YOU, Matty."
Mat pouted at me and tried to jut out his lower lip as far as it could go. He batted his eyelashes at me and I found myself getting weak in the knees.
"That's not fair, sunshine."
My lips twitched into a smile and a giggle exited out of me.
"All is fair in love and war, Matty. Surely you know this by now."
************************************************************************
When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I smelt was sausage and bacon. That had been the easiest thing to teach Mat for breakfasts on his days off. I needed to teach him how to make dinner next.
I rolled out of bed and opened my window blinds. Gray clouds and a gust of wind greeted me, but my heart still smiled at the colorful leaves.
"Full many a glorious morning have I seen Flatter the mountain tops with sovereign eye, Kissing with golden face the meadows green, Gilding pale streams with heavenly alchem!"
William Shakespeare was another of my favorite poets and I often whispered his Sonnet 33 to the world as a morning greeting. Mat had caught me saying it once and told me he found it endearing.
Me being a poet had always interested Mat, I reflected as I placed my slippers on my cold feet. He told me that he paid more attention to poetry now than he ever did in our Literature classes, which I fully believed.
Sometimes it delighted me to hear Mat quote a poem out of nowhere. It didn't matter if it was one of mine or one of the more famous ones, Mat quoting poetry made me smile.
I sauntered down the long hallway and did a little happy dance when the smell of frying meat hit me full force. On days like this when Mat gave me a break and got breakfast ready, I fell even harder for him.
"There's nothing I love more than you making breakfast in the morning," I informed him as I danced into the kitchen.
Mat eyed me with a rather soft look on his face as he flipped the meat over. He'd worn that expression quite a bit lately and I wasn't sure what to make of it.
"Well, it's part of me thanking you for all the days you make me breakfast, sunshine."
I blushed and ducked my head down as I grabbed two plates from the cabinet. If he keeps that up, I'll be confessing my feelings for him any day now.
"That's what best friends do, Matty," I explained, looking at him once I knew my blush had faded.
Mat chuckled and nodded, looking quite satisfied at the thoroughly cooked meat.
"It's also a way of apologizing for all the shit you put up with from me," he added, placing the plate of meat onto the table.
I noticed he'd also taken the time to cut up some strawberries and saw a pan of eggs on the stove. I made a move to grab the pan but Mat shook his head at me and grabbed my plate.
"I don't think so, sunshine. You sit your pretty toosh down."
I wanted to protest but the look on his face told me he was in no mood for an argument. So I simply smiled to myself and took my seat.
"You're being really nice this morning, Matty."
He leaned across his chair to press a kiss to my cheek and laughed.
"Listen, sunshine, you'll have to learn at some point that I am the nicest person you will ever meet. So, shush up and eat your breakfast."
I blushed again and my heart beat against my rib cage as I started to eat what was on my plate. He was too busy devouring his food to catch the look I gave him, but that had to change soon.
Mat Barzal was becoming the love of my life.
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izzylovesyou2022 · 2 years
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Can you please reblog this if you're a Mat Barzal fan?
I'm working on a Mat fic and want to know how many people would like to be tagged
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izzylovesyou2022 · 2 years
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Introduction to: She’s My Army (I’m Her Solider)
Calista Dylan has been chasing dreams of being a poet and songwriter for as long as she can remember. She’s been looking for a partner but hasn’t found out that’s been very supportive of her dreams. When charmer Mat Barzal comes along, maybe it’s time for Caslista to give love another chance.
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Welcome to My House
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Author’s Note- This is the video Teddy watched of Tyler
Warnings- SMUT and fluff- oral sex(M/F receiving) and intercourse(protected)
Wednesday, September 5th, 2018
Tyler wiped his face with a towel and took a drink of gatorade as he waited for his next shift in the impromptu scrimmage that had come together at the Stars practice facility. Jamie Benn sat next to him and leaned forward to watch the play, “So you coming out tonight?”
Tyler turned from him and looked back at the action, “What?”
Benn repeated himself, “Are you coming out with the boys tonight or not?”
Tyler stood up got ready to go over the boards, “Nah, I got plans with Teddy.”
Benn yelled after him, “Whipped!”
Tyler shook his head and stole the puck of Radalov’s stick and starting speeding toward the goal and score on a one-timer as the buzzer sounded. The group piled off the ice and into the locker room. Benn chirped at Seguin, “Seriously, why you are not coming out tonight?”
Tyler looked up, annoyed, “What part of I have plans with Teddy is confusing you? I am going to be with you idiots tomorrow through Sunday morning. Why do I need to go out with you tonight?”
Benn shrugged his shoulders, “Come on, I will be your wing man.”
Tyler laughed, “I don’t need a wing man. Thanks though!”
He finished taking off his gear and headed to the shower, running into Bishop on the way. “So what’s this I hear about Teddy and you? You finally shoot your shot?” the giant goalie asked.
Tyler smiled, “Yeah, something like that. Don’t you know anything about what happens at your parties?”
Bishop shook his head, “I was distracted. The kids were not home so I took advantage of the opportunity.” The two stood awkwardly before Bishop continued, “Look Teddy and I have history. She is the closest thing to a little sister I have. I know that I told she was trouble, but I think that they two of you getting together is a good thing. Treat her well.”
Tyler gulped, “Why do I feel like there is an ‘or else’ implied there?”
Bishop shrugged his shoulders, “Because there is and I am not the only one either. She has more people than me standing behind her. I wouldn’t say it’s a good thing if I didn’t mean it- just don’t prove me wrong.”
Tyler dialed Teddy as he was walking to his car. The call went straight to voicemail. Teddy was on the phone with Lex finalizing her plans to visit over the weekend. When she saw her missed call, she dialed him back immediately. “Hey,” she said softly, “Sorry I was on the phone with Lex. What’s up Sweet One?”
Tyler smiled, “Just double checking about tonight. We still on? The guys are going out tonight if we aren’t.”
Teddy furrowed her brow for a moment but shook it off, “Still on. What do I need to bring?”
Tyler thought for a moment, “Salad? I have got the meat and sides covered, Pretty One. See you at six or you could come over earlier if you want. I will be at home soon.”
Teddy laughed, “I am editing video this afternoon, but will come over after I finish.”
Teddy pulled into Tyler’s driveway approximately fifteen minutes to five. She was attacked by dogs when Tyler answered the door. “Down boys, down!” Tyler yelled,  "I get kisses first.”
Teddy gave Tyler a soft kiss on the lips before he took the salad and placed it in the refrigerator. Tyler turned around and looked at Teddy in her green cropped top and long skirt and let out a whistle, “Am I under dressed because you look smoking hot.”
Teddy blushed, “Thanks. I am trying to get out of my comfort zone. I figured tonight called for something slightly beyond my usual 'hang out with Tyler t-shirt and yoga pants', especially since you gave going out with the guys tonight."
Tyler pulled her to him, "Choosing you was a no brainer. The outfit is just a bonus."
Teddy smiled, "so where are those kisses that you told Gerry about?"
Tyler showered her face with kisses, "These kisses?" Then he moved onto her neck, "or theses kisses?"
Teddy moaned, " All the kisses- give me all the kisses, but we should probably make dinner first."
Tyler stood up and faced her. “Yeah, you’re probably right, but I am picking up right where I left off- right here,” he said as he kissed her bare shoulders.
Teddy bit her lip as Tyler opened the refrigerator. His shirt tightly fitting over his back and biceps muscles. He pulled out the tray of marinated chicken, “Grilled chicken and veggies okay? I am back on my season diet. I can make pasta if you want some.”
Teddy nodded no, “No, grilled chicken is perfect. Maybe your season diet will be good for me.”
Tyler looked over his shoulder, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Teddy shrugged her shoulders, “I could stand to lose a few pounds. You know firm things the abs up.”
Tyler shook his head, “Stop- you don’t need to firm anything up. I like your body just the way it is. Stop criticizing yourself, okay?” Tyler continued outside and Teddy grabbed her phone.
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    Teddy snapped a selfie and sent it to Lex
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 Teddy put away her phone and walked outside. Tyler turned look over his shoulder, “Everything okay. It took you a while.”
Teddy walked about behind him and put her head on his shoulder, “Yeah, I just had to get out of my head. Sorry about that.” She wrapped her arms his waist and pressed against him, then slid her hand under his shirt. She felts his abs contract and tighten beneath her touch,   “Is this okay?"
Tyler checked the chicken then placed his hands over hers, “Yeah, it’s good.” They stood there in silence for a minute. “Want some music?” Tyler asked, “You pick.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F458G9XCyvI&list=RDF458G9XCyvI&start_radio=1
Teddy selected a song from her phone and pulled Tyler to her.   Tyler laughed, “Welcome to My House” as he moved his hips. Teddy grabbed his hands and place them on her hips. They moved together in unison as Teddy sang the words.
Welcome to my house
Baby take control now
We can't even slow down
We don't like to go out
Teddy grinded with Tyler as he grabbed her ass, “Yeah this is so much better than a fancy restaurant.” Tyler twisted her around, wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her shoulders, “Mmmmm, definitely but I should probably check on the chicken before it burns.” He reluctantly removed his body from hers and pulled the chicken and veggies from the grill. Teddy shut off the music and playfully pouted as they walked back into the house. “Don’t pout Teddy,” Tyler laughed, “We only hit the pause button- not the stop” They worked quietly preparing their plates with the healthy grilled chicken, veggies and salad.
Play that music too loud
Show me what you do now
We don't like to go out
They sat next to each other at the island and chatted about their days. Tyler asked about her video editing. She explained that had edited two fashion hauls but was still working on her “Get Ready with Me- Date Night” video. “I got a little distracted and lost track of time,” she said sheepishly.
“Distracted by what?” Tyler asked. “Oh, you know the whole YouTube rabbit hole,” she said quietly.
“Rabbit hole of what Teddy?” Tyler prodded.
“Tyler Seguin BioSteel camp workouts” Teddy whispered as quietly as possible.
“What did you say?” Tyler asked, shocked.
“I swear I just looked up BioSteel Camp which led me to videos about draft day, then day highlights and then there was this whole video of you working out through the years. I couldn’t make myself stop because you were looking all and then talking all and…” she rambled.
“All what, Teddy?” he smiled.
Teddy covered her face, “Don’t make me say it, Tyler. It’s embarrassing.”
Tyler pulled her hands away from her face, “Say what Teddy? Tell me Teddy- I was looking all what?”
Teddy dramatically sighed, “Fine. Look all sexy as fuck, talking all sexy as fuck, being all sexy as fuck. Tyler, you know that you are sexy as fuck. Oh my God, how many times can I say the word fuck in a sentence! Fuck!”
Tyler grinned widely, “You think I am sexy as fuck? Really?”
Teddy pursed her lips, “You know that. There are whole tumblr blogs and Instagram accounts devoted to you being sexy as fuck.”
Tyler looked into her eyes, “I don’t care about them. I want to know if YOU find me sexy as fuck.”
Teddy caressed his cheek, “Yes Tyler, you are sexy as fuck.”
Tyler twisted her barstool and stood between her legs, “I like it when you say fuck.”
Teddy wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed his neck. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she whispered. He lifted her out of the chair and started carrying her to the couch. Teddy whispered, “No couch- bed.”
His eyebrows shot up in surprise, "You sure?"
"Never been more sure of anything in my whole life," she gasped as Tyler carried her up the stairs and opened the door to his bedroom as she nibbled his ear.
He placed her gently on the bed as he went to close the door, “No interruptions Boys- Dad is busy right now.”
Teddy crawled backwards on her elbows and watched him strip his shirt before walking over to the bed. She threw his snapback off of his head and pulled him on top of her. He kissed her passionately and slid his thigh between her legs. She grinded against his firm thigh and moaned into his ear, “Holy fuck, Tyler. You are so damn hot.” She kissed his chest and licked his collarbone as she grinded. He rolled off of her and pushed her crop top up to expose her bra before pulling the bra to kiss her breasts. His hands roamed over her body as sucked a nipple into his mouth. “Tyler, fuck,” she panted as he flicked his tongue back and forth across her hard nipple. She took his hand and placed it between her legs on top of her wet panties.
He looked up at her with a grin, “Damn, can I feel?”
She nodded yes and lifted her hips as he pulled the panties. He resumed his position and slid a finger between her slick folds, “So wet for me, Teddy. I want to taste you.”
She spread her legs as he pushed her skirt out of the way. “I can take it off,” she purred as she watched kiss her thighs. His curls bouncing slightly as he made his way to her center.
When he spread her apart and licked her clit, her back arched off of the bed. “Tyler, I may cum pretty quickly,” she half groaned/grunted. Tyler wiggled his tongue across her hard nub and then sucked it gently. Teddy ran her fingers through his hair as she rocked against his face. “Tyler, Sweetie, did you hear me? I am going to cum too fast if you keep doing that,” she moaned,then yelped as he slid a finger inside of her.
“There is no such thing as cumming too fast, Teddy. I want you to cum hard and fast for me,” he pumped his fingers in and out.
She looked down at him and smiled before lifting her hips, trying to get as much friction as possible. “Fuck Tyler, you are so good. Use your tongue again,” she groaned. “As you wish,” he murmured into her clit which made her whole body tense up. Tyler could feel her pussy beginning to pulse and contract, “Cum on pretty one. Cum all over my fingers.” Teddy began to whimper louder which turned to louder moans until they culminated in unintelligible screams. She clenched around his fingers and threw her head back as the orgasm pulsated through her. For what seemed like an eternity, her body pulsated and shook with pleasure and desire. Tyler pulled himself up to watch her face as she rode the wave. Teddy licked her lips and continued to whimper and moan. She reached out and touched Tyler’s chest as if to ground herself back to reality. She finally opened her eyes and found Tyler’s face. He smiled sweetly, “Hi.”
She looked around the room in a moment of daze and confusion. He pushed himself up and kissed her lips gently, “You okay?” Teddy nodded yes but still felt like she was floating into space.
She stared into his eyes, “Wow.” She felt herself slowly reconnecting to reality. She looked at him dreamily and curled into his chest, “Mmmm my turn”
She playfully pushed him onto his back and began to slowly lick and kiss her way down his chest. She leaned over and nibbled his arms. “Oh my, I must have watched your use these arms to do battle ropes like twenty times.” She licked his collarbone and then his chest. She followed with dragging her tongue across his nipples, “So sensitive.” He looked down at her as red hair covered her face as her tongue and mouth danced across and down his abs. His muscles tensed as she moved lower. “Planks do your body good Tyler. Those one using the straps got me all wet thinking about your core strength.”
Tyler closed his eyes and placed his hand on her head. She moved her body into position before sitting up and removing her top and bra. She leaned and rubbed her breasts over his erection. He lifted his hips slightly, "Pretty One, you're driving me crazy."
"Good," she stared at him, "Open your eyes, Sweet One. Watch me take you in my mouth." She licked him slowly as he opened his eyes and locked eyes with her as she placed her mouth on him and lowered down the shaft.
"Oh fuck," he hissed, "Your mouth feels so good." She started bobbing up and down, sucking hard. Teddy's hair fell into her eyes. She wiped it away before continuing only to have it fall down again. "Tyler, hold my hair so I can fuck you with my mouth" she said between strokes.
Tyler groaned as he took her hair in his hands, "Such a dirty mouth you have pretty one. Such a damn good mouth "
Teddy laughed and replaced her mouth with her hand, "You are the one who said that he liked hearing me say the word fuck. I am just trying to give you what you want." She put her mouth back on him and swirled her tongue, "Fuck Tyler, you're so damn hard."
Tyler writhed under her mouth, "Don't stop. Don't stop. I'm so close."
Teddy purred, "Close to what Sweetie? Cumming in my mouth? I wanna taste you." Tyler exploded into Teddy's mouth and she swallowed with a smile.
Then she kissed her way back up his abdomen and chest until got to his neck. Tyler's eyes fluttered open and shut while he breathed short, shallow breaths. Teddy whispered into his ear, "That was definitely worth the wait."
He opened one eye and smiled, "But we haven't even gotten to the best part yet." Teddy reached down between his legs and stroked his cock, "What's the best part, Sweetie?"
Tyler rolled over and reached into the top drawer and pulled out a condom. He handed it to Teddy, "Please?"
She ripped open the package and slid the condom on him. "Please what Sweet One?" Teddy straddled his waist. Her luscious pussy feeling wet against his skin, "What do you want Tyler?" She questioned as she rocked against him.
He grabbed her ass, flipped her over and thrust in into her with one smooth motion. He smiled as she gasped into his ear, "Say the word Teddy. Say it loud." He began to thrust in long, smooth strokes, "Please. I want to hear it."
Teddy wrapped her legs around his ass, "Fuck me Tyler. Fuck me hard. Fuck me fast. Oh God, you don't know how long I've waited for you to fuck me. Is that what you need to hear? Fuck, fuck, fuck. Just like that."
Tyler groaned and kissed her deeply, "I need to hear you cum again. You are so loud when you cum. I want to hear and feel it." She slid her hand between their bodies and placed it on her clit and began rubbing. He placed his hand on top of hers and made circles. Her body had an immediate reaction and legs began to tremble as her moans turn into loud whimpering mixed with a soft scream. "Yes, Pretty One, you're almost there. We're almost there." He increased his speed and depth of thrusts.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," she placed her mouth on his shoulder to muffle her screams.
"No, let me hear it. I need to hear it," he panted. Teddy arched her back and felt her body release. The orgasm overwhelming her as she bucked, taking deep within her. He followed immediately after her with a mixture of quiet whimpers and loud moans. He stayed motionless on top of her while she kissed his cheeks.
He finally slid out of her, removed the condom and got up to go to the restroom. He came back with a warm wash cloth and began to tenderly clean her body. Teddy dazed off into distance. Her mind raced with overwhelming thoughts and feelings. She had never felt anything close to that intensity before now.
Out of habit, Teddy reached for her clothes while Tyler looked on in confusion. "You're leaving?" he asked quietly.
"Yeah, you need to get ready for tomorrow," she responded shakily, "I should let you get some rest."
"What?" he questioned as he grabbed his jeans to put them on, "at least let me walk you out."
She waited by the door before he silently took her hand and started walking downstairs. He looked at her in confusion as she walked with her head down. When they reached the door, he opened it and kissed her temple. She stood silently willing herself to move. She should leave she thought to herself. It's one of the "rules" she had with Lex, but leaving Lex never felt like this. Her heart ached and shifted her weight nervously. Teddy was unsure what to do. What if she asked to stay and Tyler rejected her? The thought that immediately followed was 'What if I ask and he says yes?' She could feel Tyler’s eyes on her, looking on with concern. He gently put his hand on her back and kissed her shoulder, “Teddy, please stay.”
She turned her head and looked into his eyes, “Do you really want me to stay? Can I stay all night? I would like to stay all night.”
Tyler smiled back at her, “Nothing I want more. Ready to come back inside? “
"It is still pretty early. Want to watch a movie?" Tyler asked as they walked back into the living room.
"Sure, but do you have some clothes I can change into," she asked. Tyler returned with a jersey and old shorts. Teddy stripped and put the new clothes as Tyler watched admiringly. They settled on the couch with the dogs around them. She snuggled into his bare chest and he wrapped his arm around her waist and rubbed her back softly.
Finally he spoke, "We need to talk, Teddy. I need to know what happened."
Teddy sighed, "I don't know how to explain without possibly upsetting you."
Tyler replied, "It won't be the first time I have been upset, Pretty One. Now tell me."
"Ugh, okay. Lex and I had an unofficial rule that we didn't stay the night or sleep with each other so I just got in the habit of going home after sex. I was obviously doing that just now but I couldn’t make myself do it- like my heart hurt because I really wanted to stay. I don't know exactly what we are and I don't think we need to define it. I am sorry that I forgot that we are different and tried to leave. I am so glad that you asked me to stay because there isn't place I would be than right here with you. I am so sorry, Tyler."
Tyler kissed the top of her head, "Not sure what part of that was supposed to make me upset, but I am glad that you told me. We have to be honest with each other if this is going to work."
Teddy drew in a deep breath, "Okay. Can I ask you a question? Was it good for you? Because it felt like it was better for me than you."
Tyler looked at her like she had three heads.
Teddy continued, "I felt my mind was blown." She made the mind blowing gesture. "But you didn't seem like your mind as all, " and she made the gesture again.
Tyler laughed loudly, "Oh, my mind, along with other things, were definitely blown. I was just hiding it. Not sure why though. I guess I didn't want you to know much it affected me. You're right about me and you. I don't know how to define it, but it's real and wonderful." They snuggled some more before he spoke, "So show me this video that got all hot and bothered."
She pulled up the video on YouTube but before pressing play said, "I am warning that it's probably going to get me all horny again so you'll need to fuck me again and maybe again."
He joked, " Well, we have to see if the mind blowing sex was just a fluke or not."
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princessphilly · 3 years
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CW: this is smut. Lots of smut. NC-17. Safe sex. Just a heads up, the next several chapters will have varying levels of smut.
Nina had the best yet the worst dream last night. It was the best because it involved Sidney but it was also the worst because he edged her during the dream. She woke up needy and wishing that it was his cock instead of her dildo filling her this morning. “Fuck him for being so noble,” Nina whined to herself. 
Finally pulling herself out of bed, Nina was further agitated that she was up at 7am. It was a Friday morning and she had set up leaving there so that she would have a long weekend. She hoped she would have slept in but noooo, she was awake too early.
Padding out of her room, Nina went to the bathroom before going to her kitchen. Brewing herself coffee, she resigned herself to being up for the rest of the day. Then her phone rang and Nina whistled when she saw who it was. 
“Mila, what did you do?”
Out of Nina’s closest friends, Jamila was the youngest and the biggest firecracker/fuck-up out of all of them. But considering that Jamila had basically grown up on tv and the Disney channel, Mila wasn’t as bad as she could be. Nina had met enough of Jamila’s former castmates as well as read through gossip boards how much of a mess they were. 
Jamila answered, “Same shit, different day. Don’t worry I’m not high, I had oatmeal for breakfast, and I’m awake because I have a flight to NYC 10AM my time.”
Nina let out a breath and Jamila laughed. “I was concerned because you’re not a morning person-“
“Wellididfuckupandhookedupwiththewrongguylastnight,” Jamila said in a rush. 
“Sounds about right.”
Jamila added, “I was sober and the sex was amazing but I was trying to hook up with his friend but I ended going home with him.”
“Wow,” was all Nina could say. “Um, ok.”
“I had to confess that to someone and I knew you were the only one who’d be awake. I just feel bad because he seems like a good guy and I’ll be in NYC for work for the next couple of months,” Jamila confessed. 
Nina said, “Well, if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen.”
“Lauren said you had a date last night with a hockey player in the group chat. Said after she ruined your night because of some nut, he was nice and made sure she got home safe. So how was the dick?”
Nina could visualize the sly look on Jamila’s face when she asked the question. “I didn’t fuck him but I plan to very soon.”
“Nina, always the good girl. I wish I could give you some of my courage so that you could have got dicked down properly last night,” Jamila teased. 
Nina laughed then sighed ruefully. “I tried, he said he wanted to do it right. I guess because it’s been 5 years he had to wait.”
“Oh shit…. really?? OH MY GOD!!!! If it’s who I think it is, they were saying he just got dumped by his ex who is now with a new guy and sporting a ring,” Jamila yelled. 
Nina rolled her eyes. “They hadn’t been together in a long time. It was a PR relationship.”
“Well, that makes sense considering everything,” Jamila started but her voice trailed off. Nina could hear a deep voice in the background and she rolled her eyes. Of course Jamila would still be with her hookup. Nina could hear the guy telling her to come back to bed and Jamila flirting back. 
“Bye girl,” Nina said before hanging up. 
The rest of her early morning went pretty smooth; Nina fed and cuddled Terrible Tess, walked Steely, answered some emails. By the time she was ready for a nap, her doorbell rang. Running to the door, she pressed the buzzer and gasped when she saw who was there. Pressing the unlock button, she waited impatiently for Sidney to come up. When she heard a knock on her door, she quickly opened it and ushered for him to come in.
Sidney shyly grinned as he pulled the bouquet from behind his back. He originally had just planned to call Nina to see how she was doing but when he saw it, he just had to buy it. The florist said it included red roses, pink camellias, white clover, and hibiscus. Sidney had no idea what that all meant but it looked beautiful and perfect for Nina. It was worth it as Nina exclaimed, “Sidney, they’re beautiful!”
Nina really did find them to be beautiful as she sniffed them. Flowers still weren’t her thing but this bouquet was just awesome. Then her eyes started to water and Nina sniffled. Sidney closed his eyes and whispered, “Fuck.”
“Don’t beat yourself up for my allergies. They are too beautiful to be angry about. My mom will love them so much too,” Nina consoled. “She loves flowers, all flowers.”
Nina sneezed before giggling. Sidney made a pained face which made Nina giggle some more as she put the flowers on her coffee table. “Look at it this way, my mom loves you and she will love you even more.”
“That’s good,” Sidney said, as he pulled Nina close. “We are flying out this afternoon.”
“Good luck,” Nina replied as Sidney’s hand caressed her back. 
Sidney’s other hand brushed Nina’s cheek. “Thank you. Going to miss seeing you, pretty girl.”
Nina gave Sidney a shy smile at the compliment. “Why do you always call me that?”
“Because you’re pretty and you have the sweetest smile when I call you that,” Sidney replied. “Gonna be thinking about you over the next couple of weeks.”
“Too bad you cock-blocked yourself. I could’ve given you something to fantasize about while you were away,” Nina said with a saucy look. 
Sidney groaned, looking Nina up and down in her sleep shorts and shirt. Nina snickered before getting on her tip-toes and brushing her lips over Sid’s. She briefly thought, ‘Maybe if we hooked up last night, this attraction would be gone already.’ Thoughts fled when Sidney deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding into her mouth as his hand held her chin in place. The other hand moved from her back to grip her ass. 
The kiss began lazy but ended rough and passionate as Nina’s arms had wound around Sidney’s neck. They were both panting as Nina ended it. Licking her lips, Nina was rewarded with a moan from Sidney as his hand tightened on her ass. “I have two hours before I have to meet up with the team.”
“Too bad you didn’t want to do anything last night,” Nina teased, her voice breathy as his hand let go of her generous ass and instead was trailing between your legs. One touch of his fingers and she was ready to lay on the floor and spread her legs. 
Sidney watched Nina’s face intently as he stroked her through her shorts, memorizing her reactions. “I can feel how wet you are. I do this to you, eh?”
Nina nodded as Sidney kissed her neck. Then he slid her shorts to the side and slipped his fingers into her pussy and she gasped. Gently touching her clit, Sidney smirked as Nina moaned. He focused on her clit, contemplating trying to get Nina off quickly due to the lack of time. Nina put a hand on top of Sidney’s, moving his hand to where she wanted it the most. Moving his hand in small circles like she wanted, Sidney whispered, “Are you close, pretty girl?”
“Uh-huh,” Nina managed to reply, eyes closed. It felt good, so good. Then Sidney stopped and Nina’s eyes flew open. “The fuck?”
“That’s for that ‘Promises, promises,’ comment last night,” Sidney chided. Then he licked his fingers, wet with Nina’s essence. “You taste so good, can’t wait to eat you in two weeks.”
Nina took in several deep breaths as Sidney laughed. “I don’t know to tell you to get the fuck out or that I really want you to eat my pussy.”
“Lucky for you, I have to go,” Sidney replied before kissing Nina again. It was a quick and hard kiss, one Sidney ended by biting her lip. “Two weeks. Bye, pretty girl.”
“Get out.”
Sidney continued to laugh as he left Nina’s apartment. She slammed the door, causing him to giggle-honk.
**
During the road trip, Sidney was a focused man. The announcers, press, tumblr, everyone remarked on how well he was playing. He started the road trip on a three game goal streak and was currently in the midst of a six game goal streak, the last two games being multi-goal games. Tonight was an off night; they had a game tomorrow night against Chicago, another off day, then back to back games against the Rangers and Devils. Then, they would finally be returning home. 
Sidney smiled as he laid his head on his hotel bed in Chicago. It was still early enough in the season that there wasn’t snow but there was a crispness in the air. It didn’t matter to him though; three more games and five more days, he would be back in Pittsburgh and closer to Nina. Sidney could taste her lips as he remembered that kiss she gave him when he delivered the flowers he got her, as well as everything else. It was going to be so good. 
Scrolling through his contacts, Sidney selected Nina’s. He saved her under ‘pretty girl’ in his phone. It was close to 10:30pm here which meant it would be late at home. But before he could text Nina, he got a call from Kathy. 
“Hi.”
“Hey Sid, congrats on the game last night,” Kathy said. 
Sidney’s thoughts went from potentially phone seduction to friendlier thoughts. Even though the romantic relationship with Kathy was long gone, they had been close for over a decade. 
“Thank you. I work hard every game.”
Kathy laughed. “I know. That’s why you’re going to play 1500 games before you retire.” 
Sidney giggled as Kathy continued, “Anyway, how’s things going with your love of your life? Have you managed to get her to look at you with a smile?”
“I took her out before the road trip.”
“Congratulations! I’m seriously happy; I’ve always been concerned you’d be by yourself because all you do is eat, sleep, and breathe hockey.”
“Thanks, Kathy,” Sidney drily replied. “How’s Tony?”
“We are doing great but I know you don’t care. I’m probably cock blocking you from your tone. I’m sorry.”
Sidney could hear Kathy’s impish tone through the phone. He decided to tell her the truth. “You were but it’s late anyway.”
“Look at it this way; it’ll look like I dumped you and then, she came along and healed your heart after I post pics with Tony on my ig tonight. Night.”
“Sounds great.” Sidney didn’t really care even though Kathy was doing him a PR solid. But then, their relationship had changed years ago from romance to a platonic friendship where Kathy was his public girlfriend and they did their own thing privately. However, Nina leaving the Lemieux Center had been a game changer and Sidney had told Kathy he was ending their arrangement, permanently. 
Sidney’s phone buzzed and he smiled when he saw who the message was from. i met ms lemieux 2day she invited me for lunch with a shrug emoji. Instead of texting Nina back, he called her. “Hi, pretty girl.”
“Hi,” Nina responded with a yawn. “What’s up?”
“Do you want to know the real answer to that question?”
“Not really, especially after the way you left me,” Nina whined. 
“Don’t worry, I’m almost home. I’ll give it to you just how you like.”
Nina commented, “We never had that conversation.”
Sidney laid back, settling into the hotel bed. Usually within an hour he would go to sleep but this was a conversation worth having. Before he could say something, Nina continued, “My hard limits are that I never want to be called bitch, ever. You are dead to me if you call me that. I don’t do suprise anal, ass to mouth is unsafe, and I have absolutely no interest in anything extreme. I do enjoy being called a filthy slut, I like a hand on my throat but I don’t want to be choked hard. I like breathing. I like hair-pulling, being spanked, being edged, being forced to cum over and over, being woken up with sex, and toys. Anal is a possibility but I refuse to be rushed into it.”
“Nice list. I’m totally okay with all of that. More than okay, fuck yeah,” Sidney replied. “I’m simple, as long as you’re into it, I’m into it. I just don’t do any kind of pictures or video.”
Nina whistled. “Oh yeah, that’s definitely a no. Is there anything you like to be called?”
“You can call me sir, or daddy, whatever you pick,” Sidney said. He could tell from the hitch in Nina’s breath that she liked that and he filed that away for future use. “But sir is something that’s earned.”
“Both are actually earned,” Nina said with a snicker. 
Sidney laughed before telling Nina what he really wanted. “But what I want to do to you is finally get to lick your pussy, fuck you until we both can’t walk, then wake up the next morning with you sitting on my face.”
Sidney smirked as he heard Nina’s gasp. “I remember how wet you got when I fingered you. I know you’re going to feel so good when I fuck you.” 
“I gotta go, I have to work tomorrow, bye,” Nina stammered. 
Sidney laughed. “Night, pretty girl.”
**
Nina knew the house that Sidney lived in was huge but she was still a bit shocked. The team had returned this morning and Sidney took her out tonight. Everyone was excited because the team had won six out of eight games during the roadtrip. But Nina knew what Sidney was really excited about. 
His energy all night was barely restrained power, throughout dinner. The looks that Sidney had given her, Nina shivered. It felt like he was barely able to keep himself from throwing her on the table. But now, he was sitting on the couch, scrolling his phone as if he was scared to make a move. However, Nina was feeling frisky and decided to break the ice.
“Are you nervous?”
Sidney looked up from his phone to see Nina crossing her legs, making her dress hike up her thighs. “No,” he replied as he watched Nina rake her fingers through her hair, pushing it behind her shoulder. 
“I think so,” Nina teased. “After everything we discussed before the road trip, it’s like you’re afraid to make a move.”
Nina moved closer to Sidney, the sweet coconut vanilla scent of her perfume filling his nose. “Afraid that reality won’t hold up to your fantasy? Or that you won’t be as good as you said you were?”
Nina smirked as Sidney’s nostrils flared. Normally playing games wasn’t her thing, but Nina noticed that Sidney was in his head once he got her home. Fortunately for him, she was willing to give him a push. 
“I’m not afraid,” Sidney breathed. Nina then straddled his lap. 
“Show me then, Mr. Crosby.”
Sidney groaned as Nina began to grind her hips, giving him a bit of a lap dance. “I don’t want the first time to be rough and fast.”
“Well, I don’t care because there will be multiple times,” Nina countered. Putting her arms around his neck, she stated, “Fuck me, Mr. Crosby.”
With a strangled groan, Sidney’s lips met hers as he kissed her. His lips slid over hers as his hands grabbed her waist. Nina sighed into his mouth as her fingers tugged his hair. She continued to slow grind on his lap, her hips making little circles as she teased him. 
“Fuck, do you know what you do to me,” Sidney said with a hiss as Nina rocked on his lap. 
Nina gave Sidney an innocent grin. “No, enlighten me?”
Sidney got up, wrapping Nina’s legs around his waist. Then he made his way to the closest wall, pinning her against it. Rolling his hips into hers, he gritted out, “That is what you do to me.”
Nina squeaked as she felt his hard cock rubbing into her clothed core. Unable to help herself, she smirked and said, “I see.”
“You little tease. You know what teases get?”
Breath hitching as Sidney nipped her neck, Nina managed to ask, “What?”
She could feel his smirk as Sidney’s hands skimmed her curves. Then she felt his hand on her throat; already negotiated but still a surprised thrill ran through Nina’s body. 
“Teases have to earn the right to cum.”
Nina laughed at first, the laugh turning into a slight moan as Sidney ground his hips into hers. Pulling on his salt and pepper hair, she said, “Then fuck me like you said you were.”
Sidney grunted before tossing Nina over his shoulder. Nina squealed with laughter before being rewarded with a smack on her ass. She tried to pay attention to her surroundings but it felt like everything was a blur before Sidney went into the master bedroom. 
Dropping Nina onto the california king bed, Sidney undid his tie. Nina knelt on the bed, pulling her dress over her head. Sidney bit his lip as he looked at Nina in her lingerie. “You like,” Nina purred. 
“Definitely,” was Sidney’s reply as Nina laid back. He pulled off his shirt and shucked off his pants and boxers quickly, earning a giggle from Nina. But her giggles turned breathy when Sidney crouched over her. “You look so good in my bed.”
Before she could give him a snarky response, Nina felt his fingers pull down the straps of her bra. “Better than my dreams,” Sidney breathed. “So fucking better than my dreams.”
His lips met the swell of her breast above the cup and Nina arched towards Sidney. His fingers and lips worshipped her breasts as he carefully took off her bra before throwing it on the floor. Her blood was racing as Sidney sucked on her nipple, his hands pulling her panties down. Nina quickly shimmied them off, needing Sidney closer. And he gave her what she wanted as he kissed her deeply, his fingers inside of her folds, spreading wetness. She moaned into his mouth as Sidney lazily thumbed her clit, the light pressure feeling good. Nina sucked his lip into her mouth before breaking the kiss with a gasp. His fingers had entered her and it felt so good. 
“So responsive, my pretty girl’s so responsive for me,” Sidney murmured  as he kissed her neck, then her collarbone. He was playing her body almost too good for the first fuck, it was amazing. Nina grabbed hold of the sheets as Sidney began to fuck her with two fingers, then three. It was way too good, especially as he sucked one breast, then the other.
Nina could feel it. She was so fucking close. Sidney’s fingers were pumping in a slow but deep rhythm, the way she liked it. But his mouth was no longer alternating between her breasts and his thumb was just very lightly touching her clit. “Fuck,” Nina breathed. 
Sidney laughed, his giggle-honk actually not ruining the mood. Then he lightly sucked on her clit and Nina’s back arched off the bed. “Right there,” she urged as Sidney alternated between licking and sucking her clit as he fingered her.
Sidney kept the light pressure on her clit, his fingers curling a come-hither motion. Nina writhed, she was already so close and goddamn... she did not know that Sidney was that talented with his mouth. Back arching, she was so fucking close and he just.... stopped.
“Daddy didn’t tell you that you can cum.”
Nina wanted to whine at his words but at the same time, she found herself getting wetter. “You like when I say that, pretty girl?”
“Yes,” she moaned.
Sidney laughed wickedly. “Cum for me, pretty girl. Fuck you look so good like this.”
Nina looked down at him, words failing as she gripped his hair. One powerful arm was laying on her stomach, keeping her in place as he steadily licked her clit, two fingers pumping into her pussy. 
Sidney lifted his head, his eyes meeting hers. “You taste so fucking sweet,” he growled before licking his lips. 
Nina pulled Sidney to her, her lips sliding against his. She could taste herself on his mouth. But before she could really kiss him like she wanted, Sidney pulled away. Ruffling through a drawer, Sidney pulled out several condoms. “I can’t wait anymore, I need to be inside of you.”
Nina spread her legs as she watched Sidney put on the condom. They both moaned as he entered her, sweat beading on their brows. Sidney grunted when he bottomed out, Nina’s fingers grasping his back. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good.”
Nina clenched around Sidney’s cock with a smirk on her face, earning a deep groan. Sidney pulled a leg up over his waist, thrusting at a deeper angle. Nina moaned, her fingers digging into his back. The deeper angle also helped his pelvis to rub against her clit with each thrust, making Nina pulsate around his cock. “Don’t worry, pretty girl, you can cum for me,” Sidney managed to say as he continued to give Nina steady, deep strokes. “I won’t be able to last as long this time.”
Nina pressed her lips to his, the sensation of him deep inside of her and the friction on her clit making her so close. Sidney sucked her lip into his mouth as he moved faster, his hand moving between their bodies to stroke her clit. Nina came apart with a scream, followed by Sid as he grunted, coming into the condom. 
Nina barely made it to the bathroom in the afterglow before curling onto Sid’s bed and falling asleep. Sidney giggled as he pulled her into his body after taking care of the condom. They fell asleep like that, a deep peaceful rest.
**
Nina stirred. She was laying on Sidney’s chest, her legs entwined with his. Looking at the clock, it was too early again, 7 am on a Saturday. The Pens didn’t have a game tonight, they had a Sunday afternoon national game against the Flyers so Sidney didn’t have to wake up. But her internal clock made her wake up early every day. 
Carefully extracting herself from the bed, Nina padded to the bathroom. After taking care of business, she looked at Sidney laying on the bed. ‘The man is truly a work of art,’ she thought to herself. Then smirking, she decided to do something that she wished she did last night. Lightly grasping his already hard cock, Nina licked it before sliding it into her mouth. She sucked on his cock, soft and slow as she waited for Sidney to wake up. Then she felt a hand on her hair and Nina looked up. 
“Good morning,” Sidney rumbled and Nina winked. She began to suck harder, using one hand to pump Sidney’s cock as she used her tongue and mouth to bring him to the edge. Sidney kept one hand in her hair as he watched Nina blow him. He tugged on her hair, letting her know he was close and Nina sucked harder. “Fuck,” Sidney uttered as he started to cum into Nina’s mouth. Nina eagerly let him cum into her mouth, especially after the first taste was actually decent. 
After Sidney shot the last part of his load into her mouth, Nina let his cock out of her mouth with a pop. “Whatever you eat, please keep eating it because I will blow you every night,” Nina stated.
Sidney laughed, his abs rippling and his eyes closing. Then he opened his eyes and crooked a finger. “I told you what I wanted for breakfast.”
Nina licked her lips as she crawled up the bed before getting into the position that Sidney wanted. She definitely wasn’t going to argue with that.
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princessphilly · 3 years
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Word Count: 1975 (you know I start small then build up)
Tag list: @newlibrary , @luvsherleafs @spine-buster , @m00nlightdelights @lovethepreds @myhockeyworld87 @Defiant-mouse, @callllumhood @yzas-stuff , @stars-canucks @laurenairay @cutiesara23, @besthockeyfics @hockeyallthetime @tazerass , @markymarkstrom @letsgobaby, @himbos-on-ice @hockeywocs @bloodthedevil @nhlboyshavemyhart88 @whatishockey @dreamer1430 @shelbsatans
CW: people failing to be mean, some angst. We are still rated pg-13 but we will be hitting NC-17 soon.
Add me to the tag list!
It’s okay to admit that you are enough. It’s also okay to struggle with admitting that to yourself. At least, that’s what I learned when Meghan Markle still had her old blog, The Tig, up online before she became the Duchess of Sussex. Honestly, she’s one of my goals; her father is a trip and she’s managed to live well despite his issues. I’d like to be able to do whatever she did with my mom. - journal 9/2
**
“The man over there says thanks.”
Jamila looked at the waiter, confused. “Um, okay,” she questioned as she looked where the waiter was discreetly pointing. A tall, brown haired guy raised a whiskey neat in salute. Jamila gave him a tentative grin. After the waiter left, she hissed, “I didn’t send him a drink, Lisa! What the hell?”
Jamila had to admit he was attractive but not her usual type. Her type was the outdoorsy type, the kind who could fish, hunt, and actually be able to live off the land if society collapsed overnight. This guy… he looked like money and power, the kind to hire someone to take care of him.
After a moment, it became obvious what happened as Alyssa and Frances came back over. Jamila put on her best movie-star fake smile as those two came by. They were the worst kind of people; backstabbers who even when they got caught, still got away with it because they knew how to suck up to the people in power. Jamila knew exactly why they didn’t like her: she had enough fame left over that she didn’t need to be their friend to earn a good reputation in their phD program.
“Meet any nice guys,” Frances asked with a sly smirk on her face.
Jamila gave Lisa a sideways look as Alyssa said, “I mean, there’s Jonathan Toews, he’s single. I bet he’d be interested in a washed-up actress.”
“Hmmm, I have no idea who you are talking about,” Jamila honestly said.
Alyssa smirked as she replied, “He plays for the Blackhawks, Meena.”
Jamila grit her teeth as Alyssa used her first name. She hated when people used her first name, it brought up too many bad memories. Before she could reply, the attractive brown-haired guy was standing next to her with a faint grin on his face. “Um, hi,” Jamila said as Lisa, Alyssa, and Frances stared at him.
“I figured I’d say hi after you sent me that drink. I would have bought you one but I don’t know what you’re drinking and it wouldn’t be nice to assume. My name is Jonathan,” he said with a flirtatious wink.
Jamila hesitantly replied, “My name is Jamila and I’m just drinking merlot tonight.”
“Another glass,” Jonathan asked, his deep voice doing things to Jamila’s insides. She bit her lip as she looked at him, trying to decide if she wanted to encourage him or not.
“Sure.”
As he found a waiter, Jamila looked at Lisa. Lisa motioned to her phone and Jamila checked her screen. That’s jonathan toews, the guy those bitches were talking about. He plays hockey and is the captain of the blackhawks
Jamila texted back, what is hockey n y should i care
Then the waiter came with a fresh glass of merlot and Jonathan passed it to her. Jamila took a deep sip, loving the taste. Merlot was truly her favorite and they had a good house vintage. Jonathan asked, “Are you new to Chicago?”
“I’ve been here for a year. It’s alright,” Jamila replied. “This is my first time going out on the North Side though.”
Jonathan gave Jamila a slow smile and her breath caught. He definitely was attractive but not her usual type. He said, “Then that’s why we’ve never met til now. I would have definitely remembered such a beautiful woman if I saw you before.”
Jamila giggled. “That’s a good one. You get one point for that.”
“Just one point? Is it an assist or a goal?”
“Um,” Jamila stalled. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
The sly smile on Jonathan’s face turned into a wide smile. This girl was not only hot but he could tell that she was truly clueless about hockey. Tonight was a win-win for him. “I’m going to assume it’s a goal then.”
“Okay.” Jamila shrugged as she took another sip of her wine. “I’m still not completely impressed so you still need to work on it.”
Jonathan laughed, causing some people to turn towards them. Jamila caught Alyssa and Frances giving her the evil eye and she smirked. Reaching out a hand, she touched Jonathan’s upper arm. Jamila had no idea what hockey was but whatever it was, he definitely was built. Jamila turned slightly as she rubbed his arm, making sure that those two bitches could see that she was touching him.
“You like what you feel,” Jonathan asked, his voice slightly deeper with a sultry tone.
Unable to resist the bait, Jamila replied, “Of course,” licking her lips. There was no problem in flirting with him, she thought to herself as he smirked at her.
Jonathan’s eyes were on her lips. She had full lips, made for kissing. Jamila wasn’t his usual type but Jonathan didn’t have a problem with that. “There’s more that you can-,” he started before someone bellowed, “TAZER!”
Jamila whipped around towards the sound, annoyed to have been interrupted before her attention was caught by the kind of guy of her dreams. He was tall, auburn haired, and looked like a lumberjack. He was perfection and he came over to them.
“Duncs,” Jonathan called.
The lumberjack said, “Heyy Tazer.”
Jamila smiled. Maybe this whole drink mix-up thing was working out for her, she thought until she saw her LA friend, Shan, come up behind this Duncs guy. Shan’s brother Alex was with them, his ever present backwards cap covering his hair.
Jonathan loved Duncs as a brother but right now, he was annoyed and pissed. He had been close to sealing the deal but Jamila was now looking at Duncs like he was the last man on earth. Then Jamila gave him a brilliant smile and Jonathan suddenly realized that he was totally fucked.
“Hi,” Jamila purred, forgetting that her hand was still on Jonathan’s bicep. Duncan looked at that and raised an eyebrow at his captain. Jonathan gave him a glare and Duncan made a motion with his hands.
Before Duncan could reply, Shan yelled, “Jamillllaaa!! Long time no see!”
“Hi Shan,” Jamila drily replied, glad she used her preferred name instead of her first name. Shan was a fellow child actress, a Canadian who managed to get supporting roles at Disney over the years before transitioning to a character actress when she became an adult. Shan was the only one whose parents were actually on-set all of the time and paid attention to what was going on. Consequently, Shan was the only one who didn’t have substance abuse problems, etc. and the only one from her former shows that Jamila kept in contact with.
Jonathan looked at Shan and Jamila. “You two know each other?”
Shan drunkenly giggled as Alex closed his eyes. “We were both Disney kids back in the day.”
Jamila sardonically smiled. “Those were fun days.”
“I’m sorry,” Alex replied. “Shan’s got a role in one of the next Marvel movies so she decided to celebrate.”
“Congratulations,” Jamila sincerely stated. Getting a role in the MCU was a steady check and something to celebrate. Then Jonathan took a double take and looked at her and Jamila groaned. He bit one of his thin lips and then he smirked before putting a finger to his mouth. Jamila exhaled and gave him her biggest smile. He recognized her but he didn’t say anything. Jamila leaned over and whispered into Jonathan’s ear, “You just got a second point.”
“Then maybe you should let me have your number,” Jonathan purred into Jamila’s ear.
Jamila smirked, rolling her eyes but before she could respond, Shan slurred, “Wow, Jamila, you waste no time. You were just telling me yesterday that you didn’t know a damn thing about hockey and tonight, you’re talking with Captain Serious.”
Jonathan wanted to shake his teammate’s sister because Jamila shut down, pursing her lips.
Oblivious, Shan continued, “Now, you don’t have an excuse not to go with my brother to the bowling thing.”
Alex face-palmed as Jamila pinched the bridge of her nose. She had totally forgotten about that and of course, when Shan was drunk, she was loud and obnoxious.
Pasting her best fake smile on her face, Jamila said, “I think it’s time for me to go.”
“So soon,” Duncan teased.
Jamila smirked at him, looking him up and down. “I need my beauty rest and to not strangle my friend.”
Jonathan gritted his teeth as he watched Jamila eye his friend. Then she turned to him and blew him a kiss. “It was nice to meet you, Jonathan,” Jamila said, giving him a wink.
Jonathan smiled back and Jamila was taken aback for a moment. There was a promise in those dark brown eyes and she felt her body begin to respond. Then he licked his lips and for a moment, all Jamila could think about was maybe those lips on her body. Slightly shaking her head, Jamila waved her fingers before going to call an Uber. This was a night.
**
After getting home, Jamila tossed her bag onto her front table. She suddenly felt exhausted even though it was barely after 11:30pm. Walking into her living room, Jamila saw her other cell phone glowing. Picking it up, she cursed. There were fifteen messages and ten missed calls, all from Janine. The messages started off nice, asking how Jamila was doing to nasty, calling her all kinds of names for not picking up and giving her “mother” money.
Tossing the phone back onto the table, Jamila sighed. Getting a separate cell phone just for her mother’s calls was the best but it was draining just to look at it.
Janine Brown was a bit actress, stage-mother, and now two-bit manager. Janine had always wanted to be an actress, even when she was attending grad school at MIT for physics. There, she met Jayesh Vyas, a student earning a PhD in computer engineering. Within six months, they were married and expecting a child; after two years, they were divorced after pressure from Jayesh’s parents. Jayesh returned to India and Janine was stuck with an 11 month old baby with dimples made of gold.
By the time that Jamila could remember, she was in front of a camera. Her life as a child was in front of a camera; first as the adorable adopted child in Granger vs Granger, then the youngest kid in The Elliot Show as a young child. Then from age 12 to 17, Jamila starred as Jane Lee in the Disney show, Plain Jane. School was on set. Birthdays were celebrated on set. Everything revolved around a set year round until right after Jamila’s 17th birthday.
The aftermath of that birthday was a stay in rehab, a cancelled show, and living with her dad and stepmom full time in Atlanta.
Jamila promptly deleted all the messages and voicemails before going on online banking. After authorizing a transfer to Janine’s account, Jamila showered, put on pajamas, and grabbed her pink Lepidolite and pink quartz crystals. Sitting cross legged, Jamila worked to calm her anxiety so that she could have a restful night sleep.
But in her dreams, she tried to focus on a pair of blue eyes and a lumberjack look. However, she kept dreaming of a pair of deep obsidian brown eyes, a crooked smile, and a deep voice telling her everything he was going to do to her
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princessphilly · 3 years
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5 with Jonathan Toews please? Love your writing a lot by the way xx
5) “You look good all soaking wet.”
“You look good all soaking wet.”
You look up through your lashes at your boyfriend, kneeling between your legs, his cock deep inside of you. He continued, “Fuck, your pussy is made for me, baby.”
Then you felt him withdraw and you clench, earning a groan from Jon. Words were impossible as you were gagged but fuck, it felt so amazing as he fucked you.
“Let’s see how many times I can make you cum, baby,” were the last words you heard before you felt the buzz of the wand at just the right spot and you saw stars.
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princessphilly · 3 years
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Prologue
Tag list: @newlibrary , @luvsherleafs,@spine-buster , @m00nlightdelights , @lovethepreds @myhockeyworld87 @Defiant-mouse, @callllumhood,@yzas-stuff , @stars-canucks @laurenairay, @cutiesara23, @besthockeyfics @hockeyallthetime @tazerass , @markymarkstrom @letsgobaby @himbos-on-ice @hockeywocs @bloodthedevil, @nhlboyshavemyhart88 , @whatishockey
CW: disordered eating, negative focus on weight, angst
Word Count: 801
Self-love is something that we always talk about.
It’s not easy.
Well, it’s easy to say that you love yourself. But it’s not easy to actually put in action.
-Self-love vlog 9/18
“You’ve gained five pounds, Meena.”
Jamila winced as the PA shook her head. The wardrobe consultant, her mother, the director, and the producer all glared at her as she stood on the scale. The scale said 120. One hundred and twenty pounds. You’re getting fat.
The director snapped, “You can’t be a lead actress if you’re fat. You’re fat, Meena. You’ve gotten fat since you left Hollywood.”
Jamila took in a deep breath. “I’m five feet, seven inches tall. I wear a size 2. I workout everyday, I have my fucking period, and my hair isn’t falling out anymore. I’m healthier than ever, I’m not fucking fat,” she retorted. “I’m still wearing this sample size dress and it’ll have to be taken in. So don’t call me fat.”
“Not just fat, but that attitude is still there,” the producer snapped.
“I have an attitude for defending myself? You were just on the cover of Vogue talking about fat acceptance and you’re now trying to shame me for weighing FIVE POUNDS MORE THAN I DID LAST MONTH!!”
Mom said, “Oh Jamila, if you gain weight, you’ll lose your show-”
“Oh my god,” Jamila placed her hand on her forehead. That dream was back, the dream that was reality more often than not when she was a teen. That was her life as Meena Vyas, the child actress on Life According to Bob, then the lead actress on the Disney show, Plain Jane. Daily weigh-ins to make sure she was as skinny as possible. It had been over five years since she last had to deal with that but it was a constant fixture in Jamila’s nightmares.
Rubbing her forehead, Jamila turned on her left. It was 4:30 AM, too early to wake up, but a bit too late to try to get a deep sleep. Then her phone rang and Jamila cracked open an eye. It was Marisa calling and Jamila answered, “Isn’t it too early to be awake for you too?”
“Good morning, I’m a teacher, I wake up this early,” Marisa answered with a laugh.
Jamila grumbled, “It’s too early. Aren’t you going to wake up that athlete boyfriend of yours?”
“Kevin is on a road trip so I’m all by myself. Something told me to call you this morning, Mila, so I did.”
Jamila truly didn’t understand how Marisa was so happy first thing in the morning. She truly didn’t understand morning people. But fuck it, she was awake anyway. Jamila replied, “I had a nightmare, again.”
“Is it the OD nightmare or the weighing nightmare,” Marisa asked with concern as she turned on her macbook.
“It’s the weighing nightmare.”
Jamila sighed as she turned on her side, cutting on her bedside lamp. Chicago was still very much dark, the lights of the city interrupting the pitch black of night.
Marisa said, “I wish I could come there and give you a hug but you’ll have to take my virtual hug.”
“Thanks, Risa.” Jamila smiled. Marisa wasn’t one of the most emotional people in her life so if Marisa said she wanted to give her a hug, Jamila knew it was the truth. “I do have a class this morning, and then I’m teaching two intro groups this afternoon.”
“I still can’t believe you went back to school,” Marisa stated as she began typing. “You hated school.”
“My career has pretty much dried up and I have nothing else to do. I always loved my psych classes, it was everything else I hated,” Jamila murmured as she put her phone on speaker. “Plus, I’m halfway done my thesis.”
“What are you going to do when you’re done?”
“Become a psychotherapist.”
Marisa almost burst out laughing at that statement but she was able to hold it in at the last moment. “That sounds interesting.”
“Hahaha,” Jamila replied sarcastically. She looked out the window, pulling her legs into her chest. “I’m going to try to go back to sleep.”
“Bye Jamila, call me later, okay?”
“I will.” Jamila hung up, still staring out into the middle of the night sky. There were some stars twinkling through the cloudy sky.
Normally, Jamila enjoyed the solitude but for some reason, she felt strangely unsettled. Scrolling through her phone, Jamila checked out her horoscope for the day.
Capricorn: be aware of sudden changes and try to be flexible.
Jamila snickered; horoscopes were always so vague. But her stepmother had told Jamila the other day, she was about to go through her Saturn Return. Jamila had no idea what that was but she was ready for this unsettled feeling to go.
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