something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.
“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”
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Listen after the constant goalpost moving / claims of the past few years that
Callum would never Ever do dark magic again under any circumstances (can't relate) because
claims of him valuing duty/goodness/morality above all else because he'd never ever be like Claudia and Viren (ignoring the fact that he already was)
and that he obviously didn't do it mostly to save Rayla and did it for the dragon ("I had to, to save my friends" thank you 5x08)
until his TOX bio came out and literally spelled it out otherwise ("I value those close to me more than anyone or anything [...] I am beholden to my inner circle not some silly kingdom")
and then backpedaling to "oh well he'd only do something Big and Dangerous like that for Ezran" (but adamant that it wouldn't be for Rayla, for Some Reason??)
to just complete silence on 1) said goalpost moving and 2) the fact they've had to consistently backpedal if not outright be wrong characterization wise
like I think I'm allowed to do a couple of petty memes on behalf of the "we like that Callum is kinda fucked up and would do outright terrible things / things he considers terrible for his loved ones because his core is that he loves Ezran and Rayla above anything and everything else" crowd that's stayed consistent for a long time and is now validated as fuck
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genuinely not trying to dunk on molly but when ppl say will and molly were so compatible they loved dogs i just think of molly feeding them canned food from china and not even knowing it could harm the dogs, i feel like this is significant because this was what led to dolarhyde being undetected and her attack which led to her estrangement from will, even her common values w will she did not actually share at all there's a meta here
ngl this is pretty clearly dunking on molly. But let’s refute. I personally haven’t seen many metas/posts about the compatibility between will and molly, so I can’t really contest what they say. However, will and her were as compatible as will led her to believe, as much as he would let. He lied to her about his past, which made it so she couldn’t know all of him and couldn’t connect to parts she couldn’t see. Not a fault of molly’s at all
Having looked back on the script for that episode, no credible veterinarian would ever say “was it canned food from china”. It’s unprofessional and xenophobic. Also, a vet in an emergency situation isn’t going to use scare tactics. They just need to know what went in so they can take care of it. Yes, molly was feeding the dogs canned food because will was out of town so he couldn’t make them food. and I can guarantee will is rational enough to say “hey, these brands are okay” and molly isn’t stupid. And they are very well off, so they would need to buy “cheap dog food from china”. If we want to talk about the dialogue in that scene, we have to admit to ourselves fuller is a misogynist who can’t write women, so ofc he made her say “is it bad to be made in china”. It also neglects how SOME but not ALL food has shown problems, but dog food made in the US has also had toxicity issues! And (I can’t remember if this was in show or just in script) the vet says “pet food safety isn't regulated the same way as human food” which is just false. There is high regulation in pet food, and pet food is made to be human grade and safe for human consumption (and has been for decades). Dogs are more likely to be poisoned by xylitol or chocolate from your candy or get pancreatitis from your table scraps than die from “dog food from china”.
But let’s humor for a second it was the cheap dog food molly bought. The concern and toxic component is melamine, which is added to food to fraudulently increase the protein content. it’s nontoxic (ish) by itself and only becomes a problem when combined with cyanuric acid that forms a crystal and leads to renal toxicosis and failure. Some gi biomes have bacteria that can convert melamine to cyanuric acid, but not all, making it more toxic for these patients. It also wasn’t solely a dog food thing, it happened in human children, too. All that aside, most melamine toxicosis cases are chronic, aka molly would have had to feed the dogs for a while, building up these crystals, and slowly killing the kidneys. This wouldn’t happen suddenly to all the dogs at once. Early signs of toxicosis are very detectable symptoms (vomiting, polyuria, polydipsia, lethargy) and these are signs molly would have noticed and done something about. ALSO if it was melamine the veterinarian was worried about, she wouldn’t use activated charcoal as her treatment (as she states in script, again, don’t remember if this was said in the show). Activated charcoal only works for something currently in the stomach, and that isn’t the pathophysiology for melamine. To treat melamine toxicity, you need iv fluids and supportive care. So what we can take from the veterinarian interaction is 1) fuller doesn’t know how medical professional talk to clients and 2) he doesn’t even understand the toxin he mentioned so it feels xenophobic as fuck to even bring that up.
And no, her canon (fuck you fuller) ignorance to the danger of canned dog food isn’t the cause of dolarhyde being undetected and attacking her. Even if she was feeding them dog food with melamine, Will literally figures out and says that dolarhyde poisons the dogs in the family to get rid of the “alarm system”, so he can attack and not have the family alerted. It didn’t matter what dog food molly fed them, dolarhyde intentionally poisoned them. Even if she fed them food will handmade, dolarhyde would have still poisoned them. And she was a good owner who brought all 7 (probably) puking dogs to the vet as soon as she could. molly had nothing to do with dolarhyde attacking her. dolarhyde had something to do with dolarhyde attacking her (and hannibal ofc). At least give her some credit for, you know, surviving
And no, her getting attacked was not the cause of will estranging himself from her. He never really loved her and used her as a fill in for a man he outright rejected. He was having an emotional affair with Hannibal and not giving a shit about molly. That was nothing molly could control.
And we really can’t thoroughly discuss her values because we barely see her onscreen. Her screentime is a plot motivator, we aren’t privy to who she is as a person. She loves her son, lost her first husband, and loves will. That’s kind of it. Oh, yeah, she also takes her son fishing without Fisherman Husband because he chose to estrange himself.
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ik people like to act like sex and imbalanced sexual dynamics are uniquely traumatizing (moreso than any other kind of power imbalance, abuse of power, or just flat out abuse period) but from personal experience not really. there's nothing inherent to sex and sexuality that makes it traumatizing. there's nothing inherent to sexual trauma that makes it more traumatic than any other trauma.
and chiefly trauma is never really about the intentions of any party who made or let it happen. someone who wants, intends, and tries to hurt you might bounce off you just like that; because they simply failed to psychologically damage you, because what they did didn't bother you a lot whether it be mental physical or sexual. conversely someone who does not want, intend, or try to hurt you may scar you for life with something either they don't understand is harmful or isn't even inherently harmful and is uniquely that way to you.
i just. i'm annoyed at the narrative of trauma being taken away from the survivor themself. if i say this was traumatizing and you think it's not a big deal, too fucking bad, listen to me. if i say that wasn't traumatizing at all and you think it's the worst thing in the world upon hearing what it is, too fucking bad, you don't get to tell me what my trauma is. i'm sick of seeing people put words in each others mouths and tell someone's story for them without that person's consent. idk like? it makes me so angry that whenever i used to talk about things people would blatantly disregard the most horrific times of my life and instead focus on stuff i was neutral or even positive toward as a big terrible thing that ruined me.
nowadays i'm very grateful to have people who are chill and don't jump to conclusions no one asked them to. people who listen when i tell them "i know this sounds bad but it wasn't actually" or "i know this sounds stupid but this was world shattering." people who i get to laugh with. the RIGHT people who extend me the same kindness of knowing their strange "good bad things" and "bad fine things."
life just isn't as simple as "this is always terrible for people" and "this is always fine for people." PEOPLE aren't a monolith. yes, even that thing that you think must be the worst thing possible. yes, even that thing that you think no one could possibly be hurt by. it's hard to involve myself in serious discussions about abuse because there is a very clear Narrative people want to follow and if you as a "victim" don't follow it then either it didn't happen or you're wrong about your own experience.
hopefully I can consult my therapist about this phenomenon in discussions of abuse and trauma. and also about the specific thing that made me think of this. it irritates me quite a lot when others pity me for something that i knowingly chose-- and in retrospect never hurt me either. like what are you fishing for. why are you looking at me like that. i'm fine, maybe you're the one that needs counseling if my talking about this creates such a visceral reaction in you.
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i've had people ask, so here's my policy on use of my personal fandom work:
Please DO: use my unaltered art or photomodes for personal socmed! this includes pfps, banners, etc. No permission required!
Please DO NOT: edit my work or use it for your own projects. This includes: inserting my photomodes or art into your fanfic, blog posts, or any other medium which involves personal opinion or counts as "transformative". Even if you ask permission, I will likely say no. ofc this all relies on respect of my wishes - so please be kind and considerate!!
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