#otp: you're the only memories i need
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Mama
THEME: Kloktober 2023: OTP
PAIRING: @chordsykat's Caj and Skwisgaar
WARNINGS: Adult Content
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Some things about stardom she would gladly show him. Thousand-count bedsheets. Hand-built pick-ups. Foie gras.
But then, there were some things she wasn't so eager to share.
"Not trying to kill the mood, but you might double-wrap." she said to him, her eyes dancing across his naked body. He felt she was sizing him up like they were about to fight. But they never fought. Not once.
"You's okays?"
"Yeah."
The pause in the air while she looked at him stopped him opening the condom.
"You're very beautiful." She said.
It was improbable that a celebrity of her caliber would think he was anything special. Her body was tight and toned, long and bronze. He felt spindly and sickly as the moonlight shone in on them from the tinted tour bus windows.
"You 'ave to be one of the best looking men I've ever laid eyes on." She said, emphasizing the point. "And now I'm sharing a bed wit' you. I am a lucky girl."
He blushed, thinking of how quickly he'd gone from a bit player in her opening band, to her friend, to this very moment. The memories burned through his consciousness. Nights of longing from afar turning to companionship. Her lithe form cutting against the red glow of the floor lights, of the two of them sharing the stage for the first time... her instinctive vocal inflection, his imperious guitar picking. He felt like they could conquer the world when they were together... and not just with music.
Now, to be on an equal terms and invited into her own bed! He felt her body press into his embrace, then she laid back, basking in the moonglow. The embodiment of her namesake. The imposing individual that was her stage personification giving way to how small she was, bare and exposed on the silky sheets.
He let her lead the dance. She guided his hands over her breasts, down the lines of her ribs, and further still. He was blundering, undisciplined and too fast with his fingers, but she let out a moan of such urgency he could only feel driven to push further.
"I can bare no more skin. But you are welcome to my soul."
"Yous doesn't hast tos."
"I mean it. It's not somet'ing I give to just anyone."
She touched his face. She kissed the hollow of his sternum and drew her tongue from there to his collarbone.
Something in the way she let him fumble and be imperfect made him feel more exposed than he felt in his nakedness. But it was different. It was oddly comfortable. Growing up, he was always taught that perfection was necessary. His mother wouldn't have it any other way.
To be loved, you had to be perfect.
His mother would know, too. Serfetta, in her youth, had it all... and she lost everything the moment she conceived him. Her body was forever changed as it carried a child to term and her life after his birth was even more difficult to manage with another mouth to feed. He had made her suffer because he had made her imperfect.
Or had he?
It was raw and dirty to be allowed to touch someone a little too rough. To have them respond in a way that gave room for mistakes and stranger still, encouraged them. The human spirit in conflict against divine rigidity. It was alluring, obscene, intoxicating.
They didn't even manage to get one condom on before their joined fever crashed into an explosive coupling and a frantic, needful climax.
"Oh, mama..." He whispered.
She took a deep breath, nuzzled his forehead and gave it a kiss.
The moment was over, but she held him in a way that said something else was only just beginning. He'd hoped so, at least. He hoped he hadn't disappointed her.
"Give me a minute to catch my breath. It's rare that someone beats me so completely in the area of stamina."
He blinked and was shocked to see they'd been at it for over an hour. Hard to believe but time had lost its place in the heat of their passion. She curled herself around him like a leopardess.
"I want another shot at impressing you." She said with a wink.
THE END
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Finished in time for my second Kloktober ever! 😘
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thanks for the tag @sophiedevreaux !
3 ships: romangerri, romangerri, romangerri (also, amy/jonah because i'm superstore rewatching and so i'm feeling Fond of them)
first ever ship: jeannie and major nelson from i dream of jeannie. problematic to the modern eye? perhaps. but six year old me didn't give a DAMN! she was just thrilled by that "oh my god they were roommates" situation! i also have vivid memories of obsessing over gus and felicity on road to avonlea (who didn't? felicity's mom and dad are my avonlea otp in adulthood, however) and i really liked the romance between caractacus potts and truly scrumptious in chitty chitty bang bang!
last song: i honestly never pay attention when music is happening around me unless i've deliberately chosen to listen to it, which i haven't today, so i don't know!
last movie: a haunting in venice 👻
currently reading: the lie tree! i have also been rereading rosemary palmer takes the cake very slowly on my phone when i need a cozy pick-me-up because harry is my emotional support romcom book man.
currently watching: superstore, wilderness, only murders in the building, season two of succession aka the best of times hell yeahhhh
currently consuming: a cuppa darjeeling!
currently craving: dinner! my boyfriend and i are going to try to make a gluten free dairy free egg free meat pie. (idk what you even put in normal crust but i feel like it has some or all of those things.) that's code for: my boyfriend will do the heavy lifting, because he can cook and knows how to make crust, but i will chop things. oh, i will chop things! i better go chop things.
not tagging anybody because i need to go chop things, but if you're bored and you want to share these things with the blue abyss here, consider yourself tagged! 💙
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Temporary OPEN requests
Hello friends, I am in a writing low and since I miss the only hobby I am good at, I thought maybe you all could help me get my ass out of my seat. So I will temporarily open requests. This is open infinitely, or at least until I stop feeling like doing some. I hardly get asks these days so I doubt I will be overloaded.
Answering these might take as long as they might take. Depending on what fandom it is I might post on @konohamaru-sensei instead of here.
Rules:
Send a prompt!!
Fandoms: Nart, Fairy Tail, HQ, BNHA, JJK - if you want others please ask first
Ships, everything thats not incest, teacher x student, or insanely large age gaps. (OTP and YES ABSOLUTELY level ships: ObitoxKakashi, ObitoxYamato, YamatoxKakashi, SaixIno, ObitoxKakashixRin, ObitoxKakashixYamato // JellalxErza, GrayxJuvia, GrayxJuviaxLyon // SatoruxSuguru, MakixNobara)
Of course reader insert is alright! Please add a gender, if none is added I assume gn.
Every post will be at least 1k long, I won't promise longer.
Non anon asks get preferential treatment.
OC's of moots are fine.
I retain the right to say no to everything I don't want to write and I owe nobody an explanation.
Too many prompts under cut:
K, thanks bye.
Currenlty in Q - 14 fics.
The prompts are all lyrics choosen from my favourite songs playlist.
prompts to choose from:
"And don't you dare say we can just be friends."
"I didn't know I was lonely until I saw your face."
"Someone's gotta be the lighthouse and that someone's gotta be me."
"Home is whenever I'm with you."
"And you know for me, it's always you."
"If we loved again I swear I'd love you right."
"Who you are is not what you did."
"So tell me Darling, do you wish we fall in love?"
"Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand?"
"I hope you're always happy like we were."
"You can drag me through hell, if it meant I could hold your hand."
"You make me strong enough to stand."
"And we were never enough, though we hoped to be, so hopelessly."
"It's a heavy burden on me, baby, a heavy burden that will always stay with me."
"Goodbyes are bittersweet, but it's not the end, I'll see your face again."
"When the morning wakes me all this will fade away."
"Who cares if we will meet again? It's obvious that we're not friends."
"If we sleep together would you be my friend forever?"
"You left me more dead than you'll ever know."
"How could a heart like yours ever love a heart like mine?"
"And we all look so damn happy, even though we're all so lonely."
"What a wicked thing to say, you never felt that way."
"I'll be there for you through it all."
"Life was like atipping scale, like an abacus I played with, counting every win and fail."
"I will never stop choosing you, babe, I will never get used to you.
"I'm not saying I'm sorry - one day maybe we'll meet again."
"I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin."
"I won't surrender until you give me back my life."
"I'm drowning in the flood I know as you."
"This is not who I want you to see, it's just adding on weight to the darkness in me."
"I just want you to know who I am."
"Everything led back to you."
"I fall apart but the memories never die."
"I'll see you on the other side."
"We come alone and alone we die."
"I'm falling even more in love with you."
"I'd do anything to make you stay."
"I guess I was just a little too late."
"Why does being so free mean so far away from me?"
"I will stay - nobody will break you."
"Washing your hands with blood wont take away the stain."
"Aren't you sick of wasting so much time?"
"How do I get away, when you are begging me to stay?"
"Keep me by your side, we'll pretend that we're alive."
"We will never dance in the spotlight."
"Why do we always get so far before we let go?"
"Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse."
"Your love is changing me."
"When will the voices in my head stop and let me rest?"
"Something inside this heart has died."
"I can whisper, I can yes, but I know I'm just talking to myself."
"Ditt liv vilar i vinden." (Your life rests in wind.)
"I wish that you could see that I have my troubles too."
"You set my heart on fire."
"Tell me please all is forgiven."
"Life and love I don't deserve."
"All I ever do is run."
"Ich weiß, ich weiß und ich ertrage es nicht." (I know, I know, and I can't take it.)
"Dein Gewissen ist betrunken." (Your conscience is drunk.)
"Tę wojnę wygra tylko jeden." (This war will only be won by one)
"I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you."
"I've loved you three summers now, but I want them all."
"You said we'd leave this place in dust and fall from heaven straight through hell."
"I'm chemically drawn closer to you."
"You're the anchor that is tied to my brain."
"Every minute and every hour I miss you more."
"I wanna waste all of my time with you."
"I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you."
"Wiesz, że Twój ogień już zgasł" (You know that your fire has already gone out)
"Du warst ein Polaroid im Regen und mein erstes Lied." (You were a polaroid in the rain and my first song.)
"その昨日の下の変わらない景色の中からここまで繋がってる." (The unchanging sceneries behind our everyday lives on with me)
"Du gibst mir Zeit und dann denk ich, dass es vielleicht, vielleicht für immer so bleibt." (You give me time and I think then, that maybe maybe, this will be forever.)
"You are the reason that I dream."
"And I won't let you down, I swear this time I mean it."
"How could she say to me, love will find a way?"
"But of all these friends and lovers, there is no one compares with you."
"I'm a drifter's body in an open sea."
"You and I have memories longer than the road that stretches out ahead."
"But to love her is to need her everywhere."
"I need you so much closer."
"I've become what I always hated."
"Everybody lies, but I'd never doubt you."
"Every road and ever yhighway led me right back to your door."
"I told you to forget me, but you stayed by my side."
"They said all of my cages were mental, so I got wasted like all my potential."
"There'll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you - both of these things can be true."
"Someone to watch me die."
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s3 ep5 remember
I've read the synopsis of this one and I will once again attempt NOT to just describe the whole plot lol
I somehow fit all of this one into one post, huh
oof
*cries* I know this isn't real
:(
Anyway shit is already weird--she's having flashes of her Real Past, a door appears and disappears
(Also, the affectionate play-fighting they do here is part of why I tend to headcanon that Adora likes things a little rougher in bed and just has NO idea that's not the norm lol. But also, like. Catra has claws. They're not entirely retractable. And I mentioned in another post that I think her tongue is somewhere between a human's and a cat's.)
this is both so sweet and so sad
augh
is there something you're forgetting
D:
"yay I'll be in charge of a horrible polluted disaster site full of orphans trained to fight to the death!"
Scorpia knows SOMEthing is off
(Adora starts having more flashes of the real past, sees Madame Razz for a split second, has a freakout, and takes off)
Catra has a hint of what's going on and does not like it at ALL. And slaps her.
lol
stop saying that!
It's my own design
It's my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help me make the
Most of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
🎵Everybody wants to rule the woooorld🎶
(On a related note, I've gotten to the point with these two where my brain tries to twist literally every song into being about them. As the old joke goes, any song can be about your OTP if you AU hard enough.)
Me, a person who has seen this entire show before: oh god
She had a whole week disappear on her
She goes to Scorpia and rants at her and man you can hear the panic in her voice, but of course to everyone else she just sounds COMPLETELY UNHINGED. But she mentions Catra and then Scorpia starts having the same flashes of memory/jumping around in time
awwww
Aaaand Scorpia disappeared
I hate it when that happens
At least this time her confusion about the timeline makes sense under the circumstances
I feel like Catra knows and is just denying it to herself
lol yeah
OH SHIT I forgot that Adora zaps Catra with one of those cattle prod things and just fucking bridal carries her out of the Fright Zone
Reality is collapsing in on itself and people keep disappearing and who does Adora insist on taking with her ;_;
she crash-landed a skiff in the Whispering Woods
:(
man how many times does poor Catra ask this added up over the whole show :(((
BUT IT'S NOT REAL
aaaaug they did a flashback to that scene of them as BABIES where Adora says "you look out for me, and I look out for you. Nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other," and Catra replies "you promise?" and then Adora says it again in the current time and begs her "Help me fix this!" but it's just too late aaugh
aaaand now we know Catra knows exactly what's going on
Adora: "you're going to destroy everything!"
Catra: "I don't care! I won't let you win!"
Catra falls into the void, Adora runs off
Anyway she runs into Madame Razz and I won't go into her little speech about how it's not too late and it's all happened before, and how Mara saved the world "and so will you!", she just needs to "go back to the beginning" and find the sword
SO SPEAKING OF SHIT THAT MAKES MY HEART RATE GO UP
AW YEAHHHH god I love how fucked-up she looks
(and episode over! I only had to delete one image to get it all in the same post.)
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hitsukarin as my favourite xianxia otps for this upcoming halloween! xianxias are usually chinese dramas, about cultivation, immortals (demons and/or heavenly beings) and mortals, and three loves three lifetimes. they also tend to be long.
eternal love of dream. karin is the sole red nine-tailed fox is in the world. one day, karin is attacked by a savage beast, and ends up getting saved by the first emperor of heaven, hitsugaya toushirou. grateful, and feeling indebted, karin accompanies toushirou to vanquish the demon lord. as the two spend time together, karin realizes her gratitude towards toushirou has slowly evolved into love. unfortunately, toushirou has long forgotten what love is. although the coldest hearts can melt with time, will countless lifeimes be sufficient to bring these two hearts together?
love between fairy and demon. in order to obtain terrible power, hitsugaya toushirou became an emotionless monster. luckily, the god of war managed to seal him away before he could destroy the world. legend has it that if hitsuagaya toushirou were to escape, the world would be in danger once more, and only the goddess of xishan can prevent this catastrophe, but unfortunately, she's vanished without a trace. 30,000 years later, karin, a weak and low-ranking flower fairy, accidentally stumbles into the dimension where hitsugaya toushirou is trapped, and their encounter sets off a chain of events that threaten to change the fate of the world once again.
love and redemption. 1000 years ago, a cosmic battle between the demons and heavens took place, and the souls of the god of war and the star of mosha/devil star, were sent to the mortal realm to serve penance. in present day, karin is deprived of her six senses, and meets toushirou, a skilled disciple who wears a mask. discovering that they're born on the same day, the two develop a friendship during a tournament. four years later, they meet again, and while travelling together, recovered memories of their past lives surface, revealing secrets and conspiracies involving themselves and the three realms: demons, heavenly and mortal. these revelations has a profound impact on their relationship, creating an imbalance in all three realms.
till the end of the moon. hitsugaya toushirou is the harbinger of doom and set on bringing the apocalypse. in order to prevent this, karin volunteers to travel back in time prevent toushirou from becoming the fearsome devil lord, back when he was just a mortal man. in the past, karin assumes a new identity, unbeknownst to her, the wife of hitsugaya toushirou, who is a captive and powerless prince of the country they're now in. determined to destroy him, all too aware that he will massacre many, karin tries to understand how he became the figure that she hates. but as she witnesses hitsugaya toushirou's past life and rise to power, another emotion within her begins to complicate her mission.
things of note/brief primer, ig:
3 loves 3 lifetimes explanation. Immortal beings tend to go through trials -- becoming reincarnated as a mortal, live, love, die and become more powerful when they reawaken as an immortal. So life 1 and 3, they tend to be the same person, but some xianxias play around with who is going through the trial in the mortal realm, it doesn't always have to be the mains! Dreams arcs can count as this, TBH. Sometimes more than one trial is necessary, tho.
characters tend to be be dubbed. ML of LBFAD is def. dubbed, FL dubs her own voice. I'm fairly certain ELOD and LAR leads are dubbed, but I haven't confirmed it. TTEOTM, FL and ML are using their own voices. I'd say give the shows you're interested in a couple of eps before you decide continuing/dropping it, FL voices of LBFAD and LAR and ELOD are pretty high pitched, so they might need some time to get used to. Modern day cdramas don't tend to be dubbed, but might if the actor's natural accent is too strong? Whereas as xianxias get dubbed to suit the character more.
I guess these are variations on a theme. There's certain recurring tropes, and not all xianxias focus on lacking senses, but unfortunately, my faves do. They're handled extremely different though!
ELOD works as a standalone, but it does include some references to it's parent story Eternal Love/Ten Miles of Peach Blossom. Here's the thing, the main couple of ELOD are the b-couple of TMOPB, but everything that happens to them in TMOPB doesn't impact ELOD in the slightest, it was just made up content because the the producers didn't have the rights to the book. I don't really like TMOPB's main couple, but I was charmed by the b-couple, even if they get a bittersweet ending in TMOPB. They're characterized slightly differently in ELOD. Same actors tho! Which is nice!
(LBFAD, LAR and TTEOTM are standalone tho.)
They're all based on books! I'm sure you can look them up online, if you want to check them out, though I haven't read them myself. I've heard they do change a lot, though. LBFAD does have a cartoon -- though chinese animation is called donghua -- which apparently is closer to the book. It's still v. cute.
TTEOTM leads have worked previously in a modern day romcom called Love Is Sweet, and they're super cute in it.
TTEOTM is unfortunately truncated. It was supposed to be 60ish episodes, but got cut down to 40 instead. It still works and is cohesive enough, but man, I am sad that there's cut content because I love them most.
LAR relies a lot on misunderstandings, but the charm of the lead couple, who are very soft for each other, will hopefully carry you through it. The worst one is the misunderstood love triangle, IMO? But it's dealt with pretty quickly, considering that this show is pretty long! (Might be a matter of perspective, tho, bc at the time it's a bit of a drag, but I think it's 3-4 episodes long, and it happens early on.) But I was okay with the rest of the misunderstandings, they don't feel as painful? I mean, it's fine, and it suits the characters, but, a little irritating. Angst and the ML suffering to an art form is pretty strong in this one.
LBFAD uses a bit of cgi accessories? IMO they look awful, but they don't get used that much. Nevertheless, whenever SML and the villain wore them, they looked terrible.
Bad wigs are a given. Just a head's up.
There's a lot of bloody mouths/spitting blood in all of them? I think LAR and TTEOTM are the ones where it happens the most, but it is just a recurring trope in xianxias.
I think all can be found on YT, and I wouldn't advise watching them on Netflix/Prime just becomes they don't give out occasional contextual notes. Personal choice, tho, you can look them up on MyDramaList on where else to watch them.
#hitsukarin#oh i know they're not ~spooky~ but they're fantastical so. yeah.#let me know if you have any more questions tho 'cause i'm happy to answer!
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Tagged by @rowark (If "anyone who wants to" counts as tagging, and I am going to, so there. If that makes you angry, perhaps you need a nap?).
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
56.
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
1,248,713.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
The main ones I have written for include Profiler, Buffy, Firefly, Veronica Mars, Once Upon A Time.
And most recently Law and Order: SVU.
I have delved into other fandoms such as The Inside, Rizzoi and Isles, Supergirl, and Heroes.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Memory Cloud - 1,413
Paint It Black - 1,320
The Blue Moon - 811 (it's the smut, isn't it? I know it, you pervs).
The Waning Moon - 783
Elmo's ABCs - 744
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I try to. I respond to as many as possible. Especially if the fic is fresh. But I have responded to comments on fics that are months/years old. I do miss some comments, sometimes I'm busy and my brain says "I'll get to that later", but then my brain is... not perfect... and it forgets.
However, I love responding to comments. I have made friends in the comments. I have the best discussions in my comments.
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Oh, geez. Like, you're asking me, the Queen of Angst? There were LJ icons with "Jacqui + Angst = OTP". Maybe if I go by fandoms? Firefly's angstiest ending was "DIdn't Mean Nothin'", but also "Pieces" had a super angsty epilogue.
Veronica Mars' angstiest ending? I mean, they were mostly angst middles, weren't they? Super dark middles with hopeful endings. Veronica did bring out the optimist in me. She was so young, she deserves her life to improve after all the shit canon put her through. I guess if I had ever finished "Bitter Revenge" it would have been a tad angsty? But there would have been hope, becauses he would have had the baby!
Swan Queen, whoo. Um, OH YEAH, "You and Me (We Wanted It All)". HA, that was angst a'plenty. Even PIB and Memory Cloud had hopeful (if not happy) endings. But that one was... just some light angst for angst sake.
I mean I only have three fics with SVU, (two of which form part of a series), and only one of which is finished. BUT, I can with confidence say that "Wicked Game" ends pretty fucking bleakly and angstily.
(okay, so I went back to my VM fic masterlist on LJ, and whew, okay, so there's a whole bunch of "exploration" fics that don't necessarily change canon, just delve into it like "Neptune CA Mother's Club" deals with the shit poor mothers in Neptune, "Courting Disaster" devles into Logan's abuse, "The Tender Bruise" and "Bruises In the Mirror" were both angst fests that didn't end happily per se. Also, "The Ghost and Mrs Mars" was... not hopeful at all. Man, I *forgot* a LOT of them).
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
🤣🤣🤣
Ok, let me think. I'm assuming we're not talking smut fics? LIke, happy endings? 'Cause I have a bunch of PWPs which could be considered 'happy'. But... let's say what a reasonable person might be called happy...
I think "Sleep Perchance" was pretty optimistic and its sequel "... To Dream" was set to end in a much more positive place than it began. "Whisky Bears" was just a fun fic, drunken fun on a spaceship. What more do you want? And "Boobs" was just silly.
"The Best Deceptions"!! That was such a good fluffy sweet fic. It's a WIP, so no ending, but still. OMG, I forgot this one. It's my only real non-angst fluff fic.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I used the laughing so hard I cried emoji too early, didn't I?
I mean, I would say usually not. I have spent decades in fandom and Once Upon A Time was the only fandom I got hate in.
A small amount for "The Blue Moon", because apparently there was a second 'Emma as a stripper' fic and I was accused of plagiarising, but this was later rescinded because the fics were totally different.
And also when someone decided to get really spiteful and tell me they lost all respect for me because I dared to find Emma sexy instead of fetishisizing Regina for all eternity.
OBVIOUSLY, the most intense hatred I got was for Paint It Black. The vilest, most bitter things were thrown at me. In the comments, in private messages. I got death threats. I had rape wished on me. I was told my kids should be taken away. I was accused of trying to lure in lesbians only to give them 'straight cock filled depravity".
Because there was a man in one sex scene. Meanwhile, it was never listed as a purely lesbian fic, and the two ladies have canonically HAD male romantic and sexual partners in the past. So... not sure what the huge vitriol was about.
I sure did learn to TAG PROPERLY after that, though. My god.
Get a grip, fandom, get a grip.
No other fandom has been that unhealthy. At least, not for me.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yes, I do. I have written both F/M and F/F. I have also written F/M/F, M/F/M, and F/F/F.
There's usually at least ONE woman involved. I have not, nor am I interested in writing M/M fics (boy parts iz icky).
Most readers find the scenes pretty hot. I tend to be descriptive and emotional when writing smut. Unless it's a PWP, there's usually a whole bunch of motivation and emotion involved. Even when it's a PWP there's usually a whole lot of characterisation in there.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I tend not to?
That said, I have written one.
It was a Heroes/Veronica Mars crossover, in which Sylar mistakes Veronica for his recently murdered (by his own hand, natch) girlfriend Elle and perhaps loses his very unstable mind over it a little. Leading to a slight case of kidnapping, Keith and Noah coupling up Buddy Cop style for some cross country chasing, super powered hijinx, and UBER ANGST. The tag line reads "What Happens when a Serial Killer and a Serial Victim Meet".
To be honest, it was kind of amazing and I loved it. It was working up to be Super Dubcon, but hadn't quite gotten there yet. I am sad that this remains a WIP. I would have loved to have finished this.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I've had some fics put on GoodReads, but they took them down when I asked them to.
I did have one of my fic scenes pretty much plagiarised in Firefly. What makes it worse is that they used it for a couple I hate. I let it go, though. That fic never quite got the same steam mine did. There was no point giving it attention.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not that I know of. I think it has been asked before, but I am a little wary of that sort of thing. I lose control of it if other people change it.
That said, I have had comments on my fics in a completely different language and I used Google Translate to both understand and reply. I will make the effort.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No.
I am jaded. I am very particular about my fics and, as said above, I do not like to lose control over them (what, control issues? Who? Me?)
I am also heavily jaded for things like fic swaps. It's my own fault, I realise this, because I would put so much effort and write thousands upon thousands of words of fic and get a 500 word piece back and it really put me off. Again, I know it's my fault, I chose to put that much effort in, but still.
Wait...I am having vague recollections of something like a fic round-robin? I could not tell you what fandom (I assume Firefly, but not sure), and certainly could never link back to it or even know how to google for it. I guess that counts? BUt I doubt it, because I can't even tell you what the fic was about or what my contribution to it was. So... no.
Hmmm, I was also involved in a Season Rewrite for Profiler back int he day, but all those fics are lost to the internet heyday and you'll never find them. Huh, I htink my episode was called "Lady In Red". (omg, THE MEMORIES).
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
Geez. Asking the hard questions. I don't know. All my ships hold a place in my heart, that's why I write them. So, the answer is... I guess... if you've seen me write for that couple, then THAT couple is my favourite in that moment.
(I like, I have had a few fic requests that I've filled that haven't really been my cup of tea, Veronica/Lamb for instance, or Jayne/River, or Simon/River. I don't like them, but I have written them).
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
All of them. ALL OF THEM. I mean, "Adam's Rib" had so many stories to tell and I could have gotten lost in "The Best Deceptions" world. Omg, that was such a happy, schmoopy fic. Let me go back up to happy fics for a sec...
"... To Dream", "Bitter Revenge", and "Girl int he Mirror" will be my sadness from VM.
and ALL my SQ WIPs. "The New Moon", "A Swan Is A Beautiful Creature", "The Girl of My Dreams (Is Giving Me Nightmares)", "Subject 3662", "Blooding the Water". *sob*. I'm sorry!!!
16. What are your writing strengths?
Angst.
Detail.
Lots of people comment on my phrasing and pacing. The way I string words together and have breaks and just bring forth the imagery. It's never just "and then this happened and then this happened and he put his hand here and she put her mouth there".
No matter where I am planning to go with a fic, i always start from a canon point and keep that canon history. I try to keep characerisations believable. They may get into plots and situations that they would never in canon, but I like to hope I keep their reactions believable and true.
I like to delve into the emotion of it. You know the tumblr meme "Put that guy into situations". THAT'S what I do. And then I examine the ever living fuck out of it.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I don't have a beta reader.
Which is troublesome, because my hands don't work properly anymore. At least, not as well as they used to. I have what's called dupuytren's contracture. It's a thickening fibrous band around the tendons of the hand. My hands aren't restricted, so much at the moment, but it does slow down my pinkie fingers. Which means when I touch type, there are so many mistakes. And I can't NOT touch type.
These come out mainly in things like double capitals (ever wonder why so many times in SVU fics I have the name "LIv" and not "Liv", it's because that capital 'i' is harder to spot. If I type "THe" I see it and fix it. But my eye seems to skip over the "LIv" and "HIs" words.
It also comes out in the spaces in the wrong place. I will type t he instead of 'the', or 'ith appened' instead of 'it happened'.
I spend A LOT OF TIME, going back and editing sentences I have just written. The amount of times I have had to go back and delete/edit words just in this post alone is staggering. It makes things take twice as long.
I have had to work really hard to get back into writing. I stopped for a great deal of time, many years, because I was so bothered by this.
Add to that, the kidney failure gives me brain fog, so I have to spend a lot of time trying to remember the specific words I want to use. For someone who uses words INSTRINSICALLY, knowing there is a specific word I want and not being able to access it in my memory? FUCKING FRUSTRATING, I Can tell you.
Another great weakness is starting a dozen fics at once and being unable to keep up and then being overwhelmed and losing momentum.
This is how I have so many WIPs.
I keep that in mind now, which is why I am limiting myself to two ongoing SVU fics and THAT IS IT. No more until they're finished.
THough I have actually been writing SO MUCH lately. At least once chapter a week. So this is good. Makes me happy.
I get the feeling that I tend to homogenise my characterisations a little. But this doesn't seem to be a complaint of any commenters, so I try not to let my imagination run wild with me.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I have done it.
Firefly fic, by necessity, uses a lot of Chinese. I used to know the html to do the hover type and would have Chinese dialogue with hover type translations. It was fun, because as is the Firefly traditions, you could have the filthiest things in Chinese and the censors wouldn't pick it up. (My favourite thing I wrote translated to... something like "Your mother sucks rotten beef sticks in hell" if I am remembering correctly).
Alas, I have forgotten the html for that. I am sure it's just a google away, but... I don't really need translations for English fics.
I also did a bunch of research for Trigidasleng. I never really wrote The 100 fics, though I did write some drabbles. I probably did more research that necessary for the mount of fic I actually wrote.
But, yeah, I think if the source material calls for it, you should definitely put the effort in.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Who wants a laugh? When I was in primary school, 3rd grade I think, we wrote books. We got to type them on a computer, the teacher printed them out, then bound them and we drew the pictures and coloured them in.
I still have mine.
It's called "Bugs Bunny, Brooke, and the Giant Banana", which was a combination of Bugs Bunny (natch), mary sue insert of my friend Brooke, and James and the GIant Peach.
BUAH HAH HAH.
But truly? My first fandom was Profiler. This is the show that got me ONTO the net, introduced me to fandoms and message boards and fics. If it weren't for those people, I wouldn't be here now.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
Don't ask me to choose a favourite child!
Are you kidding me?
I cannot. I can't even do it per fandom. I love them all, which is why I wrote them.
How could you be so cruel?
Tagging: YOU, if you want to.
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Okay, I've been meaning to do this post for a while - you know how sometimes you're listening to a song, totally innocent and unrelated, and all of a sudden WHAM it hits you that this song (the lyrics OMG the LYRICS) are just So Your Blorbo/OTP?
Yeah, that.
Anyway, may I present:
Moonraker
(arguably one of my most favorite Bond songs)
Here are the lyrics in their entirety:
Where are you
Why do you hide
Where is that moonlight trail that leads to your side
Just like the moonraker goes
In search of his dream of gold
I search for love
For someone to have and hold
I've seen your smile
In a thousand dreams
Felt your touch
And it always seems
You love me
You love me
Where are you
When will we meet
Take my unfinished life and make it complete
Just like the moonraker knows
His dream will come true someday
I know that you
Are only a kiss away
I've seen your smile
In a thousand dreams
Felt your touch
And it always seems
You love me
You love me
And now let's get to what hit me about this song and Helena Wells:
Helena explains her time machine and how it works with, among other things, with this:
I'd become intrigued by the idea of Gestalt, the collective unconscious. What if one were able to connect with the mind of someone who lived centuries ago?
We also know that she was conscious while in the Bronze - and I've always wondered: what if her unattached consciousness were able to join the collective unconscious through there? (which in and of itself is a different essay)
And then when I heard "I've seen your smile in a thousand dreams", it hit me: what if she saw glimpses of Myka, while in the Bronze? What if, among the millions of minds she touched only ever just once, there was this one mind, this one person, that her consciousness kept coming back to. Because "it always seemed you loved me". And oh, how starved Helena is for love. Imagine seeing glimpses of Myka's smile, again and again, and feeling like the owner of that smile loves you, loves you, loves you-
And then you get unbronzed and maybe, among the million things you need to do... maybe you search, with half an eye, every now and then, when the opportunity presents itself, because heaven forbid you devote important time on that but oh how you dream of love-
And then you tell yourself it doesn't matter, it's just a pipe dream, you are not made for love, you are made for oblivion, yours and that of the entire human race-
And then you run into her and realize you're on opposite sides.
(I know this second GIF has text that isn't the actual subtitles from the show but OH MY GOD is it ever accurate, Jo bless you Jo!)
And you try. Oh how you try, tro wrestle your life away from the tracks you yourself have set it on, to stop hurtling towards oblivion and start turning towards that smile, that touch, that love. And you have read enough tragedies to know that it is impossible, you know that ink with which you have mapped out your plan is indelible, but you try-
you try
you try
you try
Now. The only part of the lyrics I have beef with is that concept of someone else completing you - but! Hear me out: Sometimes, someone comes into your life and- doesn't complete you, no, but offers you an insight into yourself that makes a lot of things suddenly make sense.
The italicized "oh."
And while the song started out to be a Helena Wells song, suddenly we're in Myka's head: the head of someone who, faced with the fact that H.G. Wells is a woman (nice catch there, agent), that she is this woman, who faced with all this starts processing, starts realizing, starts making connections between new input and old memories, and oh.
Oh.
So let's say Myka has had dreams too - just snatches, glimpses, a smile here, a touch there, the elation of two like minds connecting, the heady rush of being lifted to the sky, none of them remembered in the morning - but oh how they come charging in now, now that she is faced with H.G.-Wells-is-actually-a-woman.
But Agent Myka Bering is not one to trust her dreams - hell no. Facts only, please, hard, observable, ideally peer-reviewed facts- but here is this woman, is H.G. Wells, this woman out of her time, this smile she's seen in a thousand impossible dreams, this touch she's felt that always seems so-
Facts.
Facts only, please.
But maybe, just mabye, among the million things she needs to do, maybe she can make time for the owner of that smile, maybe she can indulge in the thought that the purveyor of that touch isn't all evil, maybe there is a dream that might come true someday-
And she tries.
She tries.
She tries.
She tries.
(thank you to all the GIF makers. You are seriously amazing. There was a GIF, sometimes multiples, for every single scene that I wanted, and I stand in awe of your talents. GIFs in this post by:
lonely-night
kiraslight
aflawedfashion
maiagaru
finehs and
taikoturtle
THANK YOU.)
#Warehouse 13#Bering and Wells#angst and pain#can you say 'doomed by the narrative'#i am NOT sorry#this is not a songfic#this is definitely not a coherent analysis#this is me rambling on about lyrics that made me froth at the mouth#in order to inflict this on all of you#my post but not my GIFs
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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers!
I was tagged by @nicoroni (and I am also tagging them back 💙) (Trust us, it works. )
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
12 as of a couple of days ago! 🥰 2 are from last year and 10 are my progress so far in the 2023 - Year of the OTP Challenge (my beloved 💖)
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
212,706 (that's about a Moby Dick's worth of words! 😦)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Just Tiger & Bunny, and just FireSky as a pairing, at that! (Who knows if I'll ever branch out... for now I'm very happy in my little corner of the fanfic world 🥰)
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
The best cure for free fall (3,295 words) Kudos: 87
Stereoscopy (The Hero's Shoulders) (72,000 words) Kudos: 74
Three Dates (8,854 words) Kudos: 40
Snowdrift (3,050 words) Kudos: 37
Love, Counted along the Fibonacci Sequence (7,123 words) Kudos: 28
(These numbers may not look like much, and perhaps they are not, but considering I write a side ship in a small fandom, I am honestly incredibly grateful for literally every single one of these 🙏💕)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I probably respond too much to comments, if anything 😅 I cherish them immensely, so I tend to get a little carried away, and I try to answer every single thing that people say in them 🥺💙
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Oh. Uhm. I only really do happy endings, so... let me think.
Technically, the story that leaves the most angst still on the table by the end is Stereoscopy (The Hero's Shoulders), because there are some not-totally-solved things left in the background.
The one where the angst lingers closest to the end as a feeling, though, possibly enough to leave a tiny taste-memory of it in your mouth, might be To a Steadfast Heart, or possibly Second Song.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Oh, gosh. I suppose it depends on how you define happiest...
The most triumphant and satisfying ending I've done plot-wise, in my opinion, is hands-down Intertidal's.
If you're going more by something like "how much pink glitter and marshmallows is the final scene conjuring in my brain", though, it might be Love, Counted along the Fibonacci Sequence, or maybe An Honest Mistake, or Asterism (I write a lot of pink-glitter-and-marshmallows endings, sorry.)
8. Do you get hate on fics?
The haters would have to know little old me exists for me to get hate, lol. But more seriously, no, I get nothing but sweetness and I'm so grateful 💖💖💖
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Welll... I never quite mean to, but sometimes the story (and characters) ends up asking for it/needing it, and I'm so bad at saying no 😅
As for what kind... the kind that can have a 10k, E-rated chapter solely dedicated to the characters having sex, without me ever having to pick a word for "dick", lol (No, there's no trashy euphemisms, either; it's just me, my deep embarrassment, Keith Goodman's Very Polite POV, and synecdoche, my beloved, against the world 😂)
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I haven't, and I don't think I'm terribly interested in trying (never say never, of course, but for now I can't think of any that I'd want to write). AUs and/or fusions, on the other hand, are very interesting and I'm farily sure at some point I'll end up writing one.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Again, they'd have to notice the fic to steal it 😅 (Of course, it might have happened without my knowledge, but I don't see why anyone would steal unpopular fics. And besides, it would have to either be posted on a website I don't look at, or modified to be other characters, because "my" ship tag on ao3 is far too small to hide anything in there, lol)
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No. (I'd make a joke about them being translated from the Italian in my head to the English on the page, but I think them up in English in the first place, so it wouldn't really apply 😅)
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, but I've "co-written" a lot of concepts/headcanons in chats and I always have an absolute blast doing that! (I'm not entirely sure I could ever co-write a fic, honestly, because I'm a bit of a control freak about my creations, and I'd probably get insufferable during the process)
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
The only one I write, lol: FireSky!!! ❤️💜 AKA Keith Goodman/Nathan Seymour, or Sky High/Fire Emblem from Tiger & Bunny (... their hero names ship name looks like a pretty crazy crossover, lol)
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Ooof. I only have two real wips on my hands; the one I have more doubts about ever finishing is the one I was trying to write for the September leg of the 2023 YOTP Challenge (for which I ended up writing a different story altogether). It has very unconvincing logistics, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to fix that to my satisfaction.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Mmmh. I've gotten a fair bit of compliments about my characterization, so that's one, I suppose. I've also been very good so far at only writing one fic at once and actually finishing almost all of them (which is not nothing!) I also really like my metaphors/similes/analogies/symbolism a lot, especially in dream sequences, but I don't know if that's objectively a strength or just something I do well (mostly) only to my personal satisfaction.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I used to be good at not having run-on sentences, but I've gotten so much worse about it lately?!? I really need to check myself on that. And I think I'm not very good at coming up with complex plots (one initial premise to kick things off, and then following the flow from there? Doable. Several significant events actually shaping the story from more than one side? SAVE ME.)
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
Well, if the characters were speaking another language for some reason I suppose I might, but I'm only fluent in two languages, so unless I could find someone who could help me, I would probably try to avoid the issue altogether somehow.
I also think it's not an easy thing to handle, because if the reader is not supposed to understand, a few words and phrases here and there, that maybe get explained/translated in-story at the moment or later, are okay; but huge chunks that the reader can't understand would just be annoying, and if they're supposed to understand, you need to fit a translation in along with the foreign dialogue, and it might not always be easy to do so in an efficient / not cumbersome manner.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Mh. If we want to be really precise about this, I think somewhere in my parents' house is a tiny notebook with a lilac (or possibly pale pink) cover, where a strange, short scene set after the Season 1 finale of Smallville is written in pencil. But that was a one-off thing.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
Stereoscopy (The Hero's Shoulders) will always and forever be my baby; it's the one I poured the most time and soul and effort into, and the one that I consider, in a way, the definitive fic I could write for that pairing.
I do feel like I have to mention Intertidal, as well, though: it's by far my favorite of the rest my fics, and I think it has a lot to offer.
This was a lot of fun! 😃 My dear fellow writers, if you see this and you want to do it, too, I am officially tagging you! 💚
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this is beyond late but if you are willing to bite. for the character ask, maya & franziska?
my dear fellow it is NEVER too late to take me up on ask games.
Maya
Favourite Thing: i simply ADORE the burden of responsibility as a trope and maya pulls it off in SPECTACULAR fashion. you can feel the fear and uncertainty she feels about her role as the master of kurain through the screen when she finally opens up about it in bridge to the turnabout (and the little crumbs we get about it in reunion and turnabout) (and it's only augmented by the fact that it was suddenly thrust upon her by mia's departure)
Least Favourite Thing: a bit of a nitpick but there are some aspects of the mechanics of maya's channelling that give me a bit of an ick (channelling mia. go figure), but i do like the way the technique plays into the mystery during reunion and bridge
Favourite Line: either her little speech to nick before she leaves for kurain at the end of goodbyes or her so desperately trying to protect diego during the dying light of bridge, can't decide between the two
brOTP: PHOENIX!!!! they're such best friends. they mean so much to me. its like. everything that apollo and trucy did in aa4 (which i notoriously also love), only with way more time to develop and simmer, so it's like. perfect. i love maya and phoenix
OTP: i have two ships that completely consume my mind. one of them is not for this fandom. the other is franmaya. they're such unexplored narrative foils...
nOTP: i mean. phoenix. 'nough said
Random Headcanon: i think that, for all of her hyperactivity (at times), she embroiders in her free time, and got pearl into it as well during the seven-year gap. pearl quickly surpassed her.
Unpopular Opinion: STOP SHELVING HER IN YOUR FICS, PEOPLE. SHE DOESN'T GET ENOUGH LOVE. PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU IS THIS THING ON
Song: Soulgazing by Gregory and the Hawk (vibes alone, im bad at assigning songs to characters)
Favourite Picture: this redraw of her unused objection sprite by @/u3pxx, i love it so very much
Franziska
Favourite Thing: the sheer hurt and terror that sits at the corners of her character but never gets touched on outside of the airport scene because good GOD there's so much guilt and shame for her imperfection and terror about turning out like her father and CAN I TALK ABOUT THE BULLET. THAT DAMNED BULLET.
Least Favourite Thing: not enough screentime. i need more franziska content like i need air
Favourite Line: "You, you're running away from Von Karma… from me!?" "So… you're leaving me behind again!? I'll never… Never forgive you for this!" from The Forgotten Turnabout in aai2 because HELLO??? this is one of the most important pieces of franziska characterization we get EVER because a), she's still clearly still holding onto her father's memory, or at least the pedestal she had him on, b), it showcases how quickly she turns to wrath as soon as the chips are down, and c), MOST IMPORTANTLY. LISTEN TO HOW SCARED SHE IS. or dont listen i guess but like. still. she sounds TERRIFIED of losing her brother all over again.
brOTP: torn between either edgeworth because i love the vk sibs or kay because their friendship is adorably sweet and pretty underrated part of aai
OTP: once again franmaya cuz. god. theres so many emotions.
nOTP: cant think of any that i genuinely dislike besides the Nigh-Universally Hated One (her and edgeworth) so im gonna say that
Random Headcanon: she doesn't give phoenix the calling card during the hazakura temple investigation. she wants to. she has it on her and everything, but she couldn't work up the courage to do it. way down the line, deep into the 7yg, she shows up to the wright residence, has a long chat with phoenix, and finally gives it to him
Unpopular Opinion: i know its been said a lot that she probably does have some normal teenager aspects to her (the example ive seen the most is "owns a hello kitty tshirt and reads yuri fics"), but i think she's a little too repressed to have that until at least after aa3. maybe she gets a little more normal during the 7yg but im not sure yet
Song: Top of My School by Katherine Lynn-Rose because come ON. you've seen the animatic with the clip of that song over franziska stuff. if you haven't then you will soon cuz its linked here (full song first, then the animatic)
youtube
youtube
Favourite Picture: this wonderful number by the incredible and talented @/ind1c0lite because uh. i like fran angst.
#the thing is you tossed my a ball right in my court with this one#i LOVE maya and fran#they're such well-written characters#veneer of flame and veneer of frost y'know#oh yeah i also love characters who lie and uh. oh boy do these two lie#the main lie is ''im alright'' but hey that can be a compelling lie#and the void screameth back#loki-liddell
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Memories are better than Gifts - Interest check
Ah yes, Christmas, it's coming up, isn't it?
Christmas is an amazing time of year, one of which we can celebrate love, joy and... *checks smudged hand* real people? No no, we're on tumblr, we're lonely fuckers so we're celebrating fictional crushes and OTPs instead.
This idea has been brewing in my mind for a while so I decided to open up the concept to anyone who wants to join, not only to celebrate the year that has come and gone in nearly a blink of an eye, but to celebrate the amazing people I have met in this community.
The collab focuses on the concept of memories that are more precious than any gift, be it soft moments or ones that are made better with the love and support of another.
Status: CLOSED
DEADLINES
Interest check ends: November 30th (Australian time), 16 days after this post.
Date fics due: 15th December (Australian time)
Masterlist published: December 20th (Australian time)
What's the dress code? (RULES AND REGULATIONS)
You must be following me — new followers are always welcome and you are free to unfollow after the event has finished.
In order to make sure everyone is comfortable, I please ask that you do not write "problematic"* content with the intent of romanticisation — now before you come running at me, pitchforks blazing, this accounts for things such as teacher/student (and similar relationships), paedophilia, racist, transphobic, ableist, etc, content, essentially things that will defiantly cause a stir if it's meant to be portrayed in a romantic light. This however does not include things such as trauma and recovery, mention of past events, age gaps between adults*, etc. Darkfic is also allowed.
— *I define problematic content as things that defiantly are considered taboo and frowned upon, hence the wording of this particular rule.
— *for age gaps, please do not play on the troupe of the older person waiting for the younger person to come of age, that's creepy.
— no age ups are allowed for this collab.
In order to ensure fairness, double-ups are allowed but I am only accepting 3 per character or ship — people enjoy certain characters or ships and that is perfectly fine, being that this is a non-fandom specific collab, but I have to ensure some sort of variety exists. However, should someone drop from the collab and they have a ship or character that was in demand, I can open up that spot for the next person that had requested for that character.
Multiple entries are allowed — however, like the rule prior, there is a limit; one blog is allowed two characters/ships or a character and a ship each.
You do not need to write about Christmas in particular — if you have another Holiday that is celebrated instead of Christmas and want to write about it (e.g Hanukkah), it is 100% accepted; not everyone celebrates Christmas.
How to RSVP (joining the collab)
To join, just send me an ask in which includes your blog name (if you're anon), the character or ship you wish to write for, the fandom and what type of memory you wish to cover. You are 100% allowed to specify AUs and tropes that you wish to cover.
— example: smittenroses, Albedo (Genshin Impact), watching the snow fall, modern AU, engagements.
Once you have submitted interest, please reblog this post.
If you are wishing to participate in the NSFW part of the collab (all participants for that half will need to be 18 or older), please direct your asks to @/corruptedroses instead
If you plan on posting to AO3, Wattpad, Quotev, FF.net, etc, please also include that in your ask.
Setting the Table (Requirements)
All submissions are to be written works, however, art is allowed to be included as well if it is a part of your submission(s).
All fics are to be at least 500 words minimum, there is no maximum and you are encouraged to go wild.
Content will be split across two master lists, across two blogs: sfw (smittenroses) and NSFW (corruptedroses), the second one will be hidden behind the new community feature as to protect anyone who is a part of it.
please tag with #memoriesovergifts22 and tag me in it when you're done! Due to the specific Holidays surrounding the collab, fics are asked to be done no later than the 20th of December, the finished list will be published on the 24th of December.
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I've heard you ship Bileven and have reasons for it. I'll admit, I'm curious to hear you explain why!
(in other words please take this as the opportunity to ramble a ship manifesto because the thematic connection between the two makes me think your explanation would be intruiging)
(main of @mike-wheeler-faggotry)
Thank you so much for this ask. It means a lot for someone to be curious for once instead of rushing to judgment.
I'm not even sure where to start. Billy and El have been my OTP for two years now, and they mean a great deal to me. Their relationship is about a broken young man learning to be soft again; an autistic-coded (!) girl growing up and claiming her place as a woman; two conflicted human beings meeting each other and saying, "Hey, you're like me! I thought I was the only one."
In a word, it's soulmate stuff. And to me it's beautiful.
I don't know what else to say that I haven't expressed better in my fics. So I'll share a scene I wrote two years ago. It's probably the closest I've come to writing a manifesto.
The setup: in 1989, Billy visits Hawkins after three years in California. El is eighteen now, no longer a child, and it scares him to death. After a novel's worth of tension, denial, and conflict, he agrees to meet her at Sattler's Quarry one night. Arriving early, he spends some time smoking and reflecting in his car.
--
He tries not to act nervous, but as time passes, he keeps checking his watch. 10:05. 10:10. He reminds himself she’s walking here and he needs to cut her some slack. At one point he pretends to be pissed—if she doesn’t show up in five minutes, I’m outta here—but he knows it’s bullshit. He’d wait here all night for her.
As he waits, he thinks about the quarry around him. How, years ago, he came here at his darkest point. Somehow though, being here doesn’t feel like being at the mall. The memory doesn’t burn, because the moment he said no to death was the moment he turned his life around.
And god, did he need to turn his life around.
He shuts his eyes, dragging on his cigarette, as he remembers who he used to be. How, in his rage and pain, he destroyed everything around him.
Fuck, he thinks, scoffing. He doesn’t want to imagine what he would’ve done if he had superpowers. He probably would’ve become a supervillain, holding the world hostage with his pain.
In a way, he almost did. The Mind Flayer gave him superstrength, a burning energy that took away human weaknesses like the need to eat and sleep. It made him the general of his army and told him to conquer the world.
Sure, he hadn’t asked for it. Getting dragged into that steel mill was the most terrifying moment in his life, worse than anything his dad had ever done. But it was his pain that put him on the road outside the steel mill that night. His pain that led him to set up a rendezvous with a middle-aged married woman. He wanted to thumb his nose at the rules of the world.
You can’t control me. My body is my own, and I’ll do what I want with it.
The world’s lucky El’s the one with superpowers, and on her own merits at that. She didn’t need to make a deal with the devil. She was just… herself. And standing on her own merits, she had the strength to meet Billy blow for blow. Even when her superpowers faltered and he could use brute force to pin her to the ground, she had the strength to defeat him. All it took was a few whispered words and a gentle touch.
After that, he learned an entirely new definition of terror. This girl with the brown eyes, who wore blue spangled shirts and scrunchies?
She’d seen everything.
One touch in the Void, and his innermost soul had flashed out, crossing the space between them like lightning. She’d seen everything—his mother, the ocean—the memories he’d locked in a dusty drawer and forgotten. And now, every time she looked at him, the second skin he’d spent years perfecting faded to nothing. She could see the monster beneath, the twisted, ugly thing that even a mother couldn’t love.
And she didn’t have the kindness to turn away. She kept looking.
Even worse, she didn’t run. It made no sense. Somehow, this girl had the strength to stay where his own mother hadn’t. It stole the breath from his lungs, and he found himself looking back at her, at the promise in her eyes.
Then his world started to tremble. Glancing down, he saw a crack zigzagging across the ground, racing toward him from where she stood.
Don’t do this, he’d begged her, glancing up. Don’t give me hope. Because it would be taken away. That, at least, was inevitable. Everyone who loved him left eventually. They looked long enough to see the ugly, broken thing inside him, then turned their backs.
His own mother had done it. His mother.
But El didn’t listen to him. She kept looking. And as the crack raced toward him, exposing the naked rock beneath, he turned and ran. If he didn’t, he would die. The earth would split open, and he’d fall into a darkness he could never crawl out of.
He ran for a long time. Three years he ran, until he thought he’d managed to escape. Then Max invited him back to Hawkins, and he fooled himself into believing El couldn’t possibly be looking still. So he came back.
And just like that, he was standing in the same spot he’d fled from. She was standing across from him, taller and more beautiful, but with those same, all-seeing eyes. And the crack was racing toward him again, splitting the earth apart. Except this time it wasn’t the only crack. Others were streaking toward him from his right, his left.
In the intervening years, her powers had only grown. And he knew immediately he’d made a fatal mistake.
So he ran again. But it was too late. Is too late. He can feel the earth giving way beneath his feet, seconds away from swallowing him for good.
As he smokes quietly, the breath of his cigarette wafting away through the open window, his forehead wrinkles. He glances in the direction of the nearby cliff. He imagines falling to his death. And suddenly he wonders if that’s such a bad thing.
He remembers Sunday mornings in mass. His mother hadn’t taken him often; despite her fervent belief, she seemed to find a thousand excuses not to go. But he remembers how she would stand beside him, sometimes holding his hand, sometimes resting her hands on the pew in front of them. He remembers hearing about death and resurrection, concepts that confused him at the time. And he remembers the day he finally asked her about them. They’d just gotten home from mass, and she took him outside to look at a bush. He can’t remember what kind it was now, but it smelled good.
“Just look at the world, Billy,” she’d told him. “Do you see this plant? It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” She had him bend down to smell it. “And do you see the roots, how they’re going down into the soil? Well, believe it or not, this plant is only beautiful and alive because other things have died.”
He must’ve wrinkled his nose, because she laughed. “Really! Everything that grows, and I mean everything, needs nutrients to survive. This plant gets its nutrients from the soil. And this soil has all those nutrients because other plants, and animals, even people, have given their bodies to it.
“Imagine—” her eyes sparkled “—a dead animal. You know what happens when an animal dies, right? It rots. Gross, I know. But that’s because it’s breaking down into its component parts, and those parts are trickling back into the soil. It’s giving itself back to the earth. If it didn’t do that, the earth wouldn’t have the nutrients it needs to grow new things. Eventually it’d run out and everything would die.
“But you know what’s amazing? Those nutrients never change. The stuff that’s in you—” she tapped a gentle finger on his chest “—and me—” she pointed to herself “—is the exact same stuff that’ll go back in the soil when we die. And that’s the stuff the earth will use to grow new things. Do you know what that means, Billy?”
Enraptured, Billy shook his head eagerly. She leaned forward. Her eyes were blue and bright.
“It means when you die, your body will turn into something new. It could be a plant like this one. Or maybe,” she gasped, “a tree. Wouldn’t it be beautiful to become a tree?”
He nodded.
“Well, that’s what resurrection is. It’s the idea that when something dies, it becomes something new. Death,” she said firmly, “is never the end. The cycle keeps going forever and ever.
“Do you understand now?”
He nodded again, and he meant it. She smiled brilliantly. Pulling him close, she kissed his cheek with a smack.
“Always remember that, Billy,” she said. “Death is never the end. And that’s what makes life worth it.”
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So, rare pair ask! (Even though you never asked for this) What are your thoughts on Heather/Eret? I mean I think I saw hints of them in your Dance of Power Trilogy and so I think you're at least aware of the ship?
What head canons would you give them?
How did you find out of this ship?
What would you rate them from squick/nOTP to OTP?
And the most important question of all: Do you think they deserve more fanfiction?
I think this ship would just be very sexy and so is your writing so I thought of you. Hope your having a great day, and that it gets better after you see this ask!
Thank you! I love this!
Yes, I am aware of the ship, and I have included it in the first two books in my trilogy (so far). I know they aren’t everyone’s cup of tea and they never actually meet in canon, but I honestly always thought this ship was a good one regardless. I first stumbled across it in a fic on FFic.net forever ago. I can’t remember what the story actually was, and I don’t think I even read it all the way through as it was a little rough around the edges structure wise, but I do remember this ship standing out. It resonated enough with me that it was pretty much the ONLY thing I remember about the story. They absolutely need more fanfiction, imo! Lol
As for head canons…
Heather and Eret have such similar character personalities that it’s hard for me to not picture them together. Both of them are very able warriors with a heart of gold, who simply want to find a place they belong. They both have clearly defined baggage and difficult pasts. They both go through similar(ish) journeys as they evolve from untrustworthy enemy, to loyal ally and honorary member of the gang. Heathlegs never really made much sense to me in the long run, as they are just too different. Heathret seems to make more sense in my mind.
I see them being one of those disgusting couples that challenge each other constantly, but rarely actually fight. Unfortunately both of them seem the type to close up and run instead of communicating their feelings anytime a problem or conversation tweaks a painful nerve or memory, which is difficult for a relationship. Thankfully they are also both uniquely positioned to understand EXACTLY why the other is skulking off. I bet after any fight, one of them would probably hunt the other down and refuse to let them hide, while at the same time not forcing them to talk about it while they are both upset. Just holding them and reassuring them that they are here, and aren’t going anywhere.
I also see them coming to Astrid and Hiccup for advice, A LOT. The four of them would absolutely become ‘couples friends’ where they get together with their kids and have camping trips, and game nights, and family barbecues (something that I actually don’t really see Hiccstrid doing with Rufflegs). The four of them just click, and they compliment each other so well. I’d love to see fics of their family shenanigans as their kids grow and play and get into trouble together. I think it would be hilarious and adorable, and they would all have the most beautiful babies! OMG!
Lastly, I think Eret and Heather would be healthy for each other. Eret is a little more reserved and thoughtful, while Heather is a bit more abrupt and reactive, but they would both be fiercely protective of the other (and their kids). They would balance each other out, and could give each other the stable homes and families they so crave. Of course there would definitely be some struggles at first as they tried to figure out exactly who wore the pants in the relationship, but I believe they’d work through that eventually too.
Now you know where I stand. I’d be very interested to hear your opinions/head canons. Perhaps you could even write a short Drabble about one of those head canons… 😉 (no pressure of course, but your writing is quite beautiful so… 😛😅)
#httyd Drabble#i love asks!#hiccstrid#heathret#not for everyone but good with me#i want to see a passel of beautiful green eyed babies!
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5 OTP Songs
I was tagged by @aceghosts and @whateverthefuckyouwantiguess to share five songs for my OTPS. Since I saw other people including lyrics I’m absolutely jumping on that part too. Because I am nothing if not a giant fucking sap. I’m doing four ships including breaking down some polyships into smaller parts.
Tagging: @thebisexualmandalorian, @thebubbledragon, @heavensong, @thuriweaver and anyone else who wants to do this! Seriously, anyone not tagged that wants to jump in please do so. Because I adore OTPs and songs about them.
Y’all don’t know this but you are so proud this isn’t like 50%+ Taylor Swift.
PelnaVren (Pelna Khara x Vren Avitus)
(They’re my darlings from FFXV, my fandom before Resident Evil took over, and I am forever going to be in love with how in love they are. Literally, he’s Vren’s very first love so there’s such a sweetness to it no matter how many years pass. He calls her “Sunflower” as a pet name. Vren’s so much light that flowers may as well grow toward her. It’s at odds with someone born only “half-alive”. Her strongest type of magic is also lightning.)
Sunflower, Vol. 6 - Molly Tuttle
Sunflower, my eyes want you more than a melody
Let me inside, wish I could get to know you
Sunflowers sometimes keep it sweet in your memory
I was just tongue-tied
-
Wondering headshake, tired eyes are the death of me
Mouthful of toothpaste before I got to know you
Line By Line (feat. Karen Morris)
Love's too big for a love song
If I tried to sum it up I know I'd get it wrong
-
Four chords, three minutes, you'd never fit in it
So I just take you line by line
Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
I'll be writing about you for the rest of my life
-
Like I'm still not convinced that I won't be too much for you someday
Ready To Love -KSHMR
I hope this will last forever
You are more than just a phase
Your smile brings me out the darkness
You are all I need tonight
-
Flowers hanging in the window
Match the color of your eyes
Dancing in a ball of fire
Each move with no compromise
I can't live the same without you
Your heart makes me come alive
You bring joy through all the sadness
Let's not do it unless it's done right
Favorite T-Shirt (Acoustic) - Jake Scott
I been sittin' here tryna figure out
What did I do right to be with you right now?
-
You were kissin' my neck, you were makin' me nervous
And none of our friends would believe it
You were puttin' your hands up under my shirt
Makin' fun of the way I was breathin'
-
And you look so good it hurts
In my favorite T-shirt
Electric Love - Paravi
Baby, you're like lightning in a bottle
I can't let you go now that I got it
All I need is to be struck (Oh)
By your electric love
Brightfield (Claire Redfield x Nico Bright)
(When Nico was younger Claire saved her from a zombie; Nico had survived everything up until that final one. It wasn’t a special zombie, just a generic human one, at the edge of the camp zone but she was so tired that when she fell, she thought that was it. Nico was in love with her a little then but didn’t figure that out until several years later. Her flipping love into a religious/holy experience is trying to rewrite the religious traumas of her youth; the fire and brimestone and homophobia that told her she’d go to hell for loving a woman. There was some agonizing on Claire’s part before they got together because Age Gap. But, then it ended up being so, so worthy.)
Haunt You (feat. chloe moriondo) - X Lovers, chloe moriondo
Loved you from the first time that I saw you
In the kitchen with your hair under a baseball cap
Couldn't find the words to say one single thing
Oh, I never knew someone could make me fall like that
-
Now I can't picture my lifе
Without you by my side
Can't let you go
I'll nevеr let you go
Cherry - FLETCHER, Hayley Kiyoko
And your voice real low when you talking to me
You're saying something and I'm thinking one thing
Your lips when you bite 'em like this
And I'm blushing real hard, got me moving my hips
You're across from me and it's hard to breathe
-
You're such a dream, I'm dying to see
Oh, if it's real, if it's sweet, if you taste just like a
Cherry
Bubbly - Colbie Caillet
I've been awake for a while now
You've got me feelin' like a child now
'Cause every time I see your bubbly face
-
The rain is falling on my window pane
But we are hiding in a safer place
Under covers staying dry and warm
You give me feelings that I adore
-
It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feeling shows
'Cause you make me smile
Baby, just take your time
Now holdin' me tight
religion (u can lay your hands on me) - Shura
We've been talking on the telephone for hours at night
Whilst I've been thinking about kissing you
I wanna consecrate your body, turn the water to wine
-
It could be LA, it could be Heaven
If you're an angel, can I be your God?
You in all your glory, it's not confession
Baby, don't apologize
Fall Into Me - Forest Blakk
The day that I met you
The world had just spit me out
On my way to the bottom
Sure I'd never be found
-
Fall into me
And I'll catch you, darlin'
We'll dance in the street
Like nobody's watching
It's just you and me
-
I'd fall for you twice
If that's what you wanted
I'd give you my lifе
From now till forever
I'm falling in love with you
Ovеr and over again
Cleonight (Claire Redfield x Leon Kennedy x Nico Bright)
(They were independently together with each other before Claire was the one to go, “Hey, we’re already all dating each other...what if we just all dated as a unit?” Because the other two would’ve continued on like the dumbasses that they are without bringing it up. Leon’s got a lot of self-worth issues for many reasons. I add religious trauma as one of them. So, I think he also tends to view love as this thing he kind of doesn’t deserve because it’s holy. Claire and Nico work to correct him.)
Daylight - Shinedown
I was diagnosed with a fear of getting too close
Had to tell the ones I love I was on the ropes
I'm not the only one whose life's been pulled apart
-
You saved my life, not once but twice
You keep me free from falling
You saved my lifе, make it all alright
When I don't feel like talking
You makе sure I always see the daylight
ANGELS - Chase Atlantic
Calling on my angels (Ooh, yeah)
It's getting darker and I'm starting to get anxious (Ooh, yeah)
-
Pleasure and pain feel the same to me (Same to me)
I lost my faith, but I still believe there's something (Oh, yeah)
Blood in my eyes made it hard to see (Oh)
I went out searching for an angel then you came to me, my darling
Cloud 9 (ft. Tegan and Sara) - Beach Bunny & Tegan and Sara
I don’t wanna seem the way I do
But I’m confident when I’m with you
-
But when they love me, I feel like I’m floating
When they call me pretty, I feel like somebody
Even when we fade eventually to nothing
You will always be my favorite form of loving
Holy - Zolita
Worship your body as you walk my way
You're the only one who can make me pray
I fall at your feet, your breath defined
And underneath my skin's an intrinsic shrine
-
I love you most, but I'm not worthy
I'll give my soul, sacrifice me
Cause your love is holy
-
I'd rather drown in your ocean
Than wither on the shore
Undying devotion, feel you in my core
Veneration, this faith's got me high
Nothing without you, live for you till I die
Till I die, till I die, till I die, till I die, till I die...
Better Man - 5 Seconds of Summer
New friends again and again, gone when the morning comes
Demons I tried to defend, but I couldn't get enough
-
Fading away, fading away
Wake up to someone with nothing to say
I'd never change, thought I'd never change
Then you come and change it all
-
With your love, your love
I'm a better, better man
-
Wrapped in your arms, I swear
I'd die for your love, your love
Briveira (Carlos Olveira x Nico Bright)
(They met through Claire, Chris, and being coworkers at TerraSave and absolutely did not mean to fall in love. They were just friends for a while which was more than enough. He calls her “Dandelion”, she calls him “bear”, and life was totally good. She was this little bright patch that showed up about 9 months after Jill “”died”” that made things a little easier. She even reminded him of a Jill a little; that Fire, Call to Action, Integrity, Intelligence, and Stubbornness. Also the tendency to just pick locks. It was something (beyond age) that had him agonizing over loving Nico romantically; was he loving Nico in her own right or as this replacement for Jill and a redo to keep her safe? The answer, according to Nico, is that he worried for nothing and she’s thrilled when he finally made a move. So was Claire who got to watch her delightful girlfriend pine over him. It was both cute and disgusting at how confusedly in love she was.)
Sunflower, Vol.6 - Harry Styles
I couldn't want you any more
Kiss in the kitchen like it's a dance floor
I couldn't want you any more tonight
-
I don't wanna make you feel bad, but I've been trying hard not to act a fool.
Lover - Taylor Swift
And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear
Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?
-
Can I go where you go?
Can we always be this close forever and ever?
And ah, take me out and take me home
-
I take this magnetic force of a man to be my
Lover
My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue
All's well that ends well to end up with you
Swear to be over-dramatic and true to my
Lover
-
And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me
And at every table, I'll save you a seat
Little Things - One Direction
Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me
But bear this in mind, it was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me…
-
Oh it's you
They add up to
I'm in love with you
And all these little things
-
If I let you know I'm here for you
Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you, oh
Heartbeat - Carrie Underwood
And tonight, I wanna drive so far, we'll only find static on the radio
And we can't see those city lights and I love the way you look in a firefly glow
Saying everything without making a sound
A cricket choir in the background, underneath a harvest moon
Standing on your shoes in my bare feet
Dancing to the rhythm of your heartbeat
-
I wanna feel you holding onto me and make me hold my breath
You pull me closer, my head on your shoulder
Baby, we won't need a song
We'll make a fallen star wish, one more slow kiss
johnny & june - Zachary Knowles
They say finding love shouldn't be hard
That's when I knew, that's when I knew
I can't believe it's been like seven years
-
So let's writе a story about what we do
I'll be your Johnny and you'll be my June
We'll last forever like superheroes do
Yeah, let's write a story, let's write a story
About me and you
#tag game#pelna khara#vren avitus#claire redfield#nico bright#brightfield#leon kennedy#cleonight#carlos oliveira#briveira#resident evil ocs#ffxv ocs#i have spent five hours on this#working with the blue hellsite is like eating live electric eels#honestly i only almost had like four meltdowns during between fighting the ipad and wworking on my bf's computer to finish this#if the formatting is still wonky at this point then that's tumblr's fault#i did everything right and it did everything to fuck that up#which is par for the course#really when as this site not found new and exciting ways to breakl#it literally does not show me the fucked up block text when i edit the post#also it's great on mobile#no elongated spaces or truncated block text just a normal fucking post
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Oooooh I like this.... But it made me think of Layla since Steven and Marc are dating her but then she discovers there is another person that the third alter is dating, pr even when Steven go to her and tell her how mad he's at Marc for not telling him that he loves him or keep telling him that the relationship is weird.
I think the poor thing would be exhausted, she has no family left , she has a dangerous job so she mist keep it low which mean she might not have that many friends, and now all these problems are being thrown at her if you know what I mean?
It must be so hard for her to keep everyone in check , get them to therapy, trying to understand there situation, sweet talking everyone of them to make them feel better, reminding them of the meds they must take , feeding them , must to face Kunsho she also might still be twaret avatar.
Like it's about time that all of this will exhaust her mentality and she can't tell that to the system because she's to afraid they'll take it the wrong way and think she's tired of them so she keeps it inside of her until God knows when .
You're right, it'd be a lot for Layla.
I won't deny that she gets frustrated a few times.
Initially she won't know everything that's going on though, and let's keep in mind that it won't all be happening at the same time lol
A lot of it will be dealt between themselves. But whenever she gets aware that something is going on, she does want to help.
In the beginning, she'll mostly learn if something's going on through Steven.
Jake wouldn't tell, and his behavior with her would barely change, he'd be a bit more grumpy maybe, that's about it. He'd probably vent to Khonshu though. Khonshu probably won't be listening, but it'd help Jake anyway. He'd vent by doing Moon Knight stuff too.
Marc will commit to share more. But his progress there will be very gradual. And whenever there's a problem, it's still not his reflex/first thought to share or ask for help. Option 1 is usually to fix it by himself, option 2 is to repress those feelings and keep them locked down.
Steven : there's an option 3
Marc : what ?
Steven: there's a third option!
Marc : what is it ?
Steven: Layla! You could tell her what's going on.
Marc : ah yeah, right, yeah...I'll do that
For Steven, he needs to share. He shares everything. We saw it when he talked to his 'mom', when he tried to make friends at work, with Crowley. So he'll do that with Layla for sure, and that's also why they need a therapist. Might be why Layla suggests it to Steven, so he doesn't dump everything on her. As much as she wants to help, she can't be their only confident.
Although Steven might keep talking to Crowley lmao, and Marc maybe does too (and Jake?) since Marc knew his name in the underworld.
Layla has her own problems too. She's not perfect, she has her own memories that follow her that she has to deal with. So they'll be there to help her too when she needs it.
It's important to my OTPs that there's this mutual help, mutual growth. As many issues as the characters might have, all my OTPs do that, it's key. So it'll be there.
Layla might not have that many friends, but I think she has some. Yeah her work is risky, but in the black market and in adventures you can find a few good friends.
.
Last thing (I think?) : Jake and other people.
That one is a little tricky.
I think that'd help that Layla knew Steven first. Since she got the time to really see them as different people before meeting Jake. And she knows Jake goes out at night and has a complete other life out there (it's mostly Moon Knight and cabbie work though).
She will ask him if he 'sees other people' and he will ask her permission to do that (even though he's already seeing other people when he asks that so...it's just a formality lmao).
They'll get into an agreement about this, even before Marc learns about Jake's existence. Marc will be the most against Jake seeing anyone. Which will piss off Jake since he doesn't sleep with Layla so he can't even sleep with anyone at all??
Marc & Jake : *cats hissing*
Steven : help ! 😫
Tl:dr Yes it's a lot of work. But Layla has decided to get (back) with them, so she's committed. And they'll be there for her too ❤
#I don't think she'll be the main cook of the house thought xD#still think Steven knows how to cook#marc knows the minimum to feed himself#Jake doesn't but he might actually enjoy cooking if he ever learns it?#moon knight#moon knight fanfic#moon knight meta#moon knight headcanon#anon answers#anon asks#moon knight essay#character analysis#Layla this time yay#layla x steven x marc#layla el faouly x marc spector#steven grant x layla el faouly#layla my beloved#layla el faouly#jake lockley#marc spector#Steven grant#marc spector tries his best#marc spector deserves everything#we love our neuroatypical british nerd angel here#we love our moon dummies#nobody expects the spanish lockley#hugging the marc system forever#otp we could've handled it together#otp marcxlayla
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Ryou for the ask :>
hskfjsana my boy
My NOTP for them
not me having to literally go on the ygodm ship list to see if any non-crack-nonsense ships got a visceral reaction from me. yeah i don't think there's one, just some like anzu/ryou where i'm like. i don't see it rip but good for them
My BROTP for them
torn - I think a post-canon embodied yami bakura and ryou are besties/worsties but also. in DSOD when ryou disappears and whatever joey is SO worried about him... most concern for ryou shown on screen since honda kept trying to free him from the ring in duelist kingdom but like. joey is JOEY about it idk it just got me with the whole him worrying about ryou and then like they must be friends. can you imagine. ryou would ruin his night with horrors beyond his comprehension and then giggle about it.
My OTP for them
paired up lmao it's Heart for this too obviously. I just think him and Yugi are so cute!!!! sometimes i just need something sweet.
My second choice pairing for them
CHOOSING IS SUCH A STRUGGLE okay I think it's gemshipping and that is Because I read a bunch of sad doujin and they're almost always presented like. fuckin. yami b recognizing that ryou's worst fear is being left alone but knowing that there's no chance he's coming back after millenium world/pharaoh's memories so he sends TKB to ryou somehow [thru yugioh all things are possible so jot that down dot png] and yeah I know TKB is a little fucking gremlin and it's NOT my first or second choice for him but I have a soft spot for it now because just. ryou needs someone.
My fluffy pairing for them
this is still also heart bc thats just why i like it lmfao
My angsty pairing for them
whats it called my boys have either thee best or thee worst ship names uhm. [opens ygodm pairing list] god is it really just CALLED angstshipping i hate it here. anyway him and Malik together is such a recipe for sadness because Malik is seeing this mirror reflection of someone he can never get back and Ryou is being drawn to this person who's tied up with a lot of the darkness that reflected in YB and do either of them actually want the other urhfhhhurghhguhgughgu
My favorite poly ship for them
perhaps given everything ive already said it will come as no surprise at all that any iteration of ryou/malik/yb/tbk/ym would be my favorite. i think they all hate each other. i think they all love each other. the more people involved the more stress ryou has to deal with as the SINGLE AND ONLY NORMAL ONE godbless.
My weirdest pairing for them
im gonna be controversial here and label deathshipping as fucking weird even though i think it's actually kind of popular and i like it. i feel like it was more of a thing back when i was into ygo initially, before we knew what Malik's whole deal was (rip tbh Yami Malik was such a... wasted storyline honestly i love ygo but so many things im like. why is that all we got. anyway.) i saythis bc in a lot it seems like YM is portrayed as a full separate person/soul like YB and YY are, so him being a fucking freakweirdo who gets his own body for reasons and who Ryou likes because he is a freakweirdo is just. kind of great. "what do you mean you're dating him he's gross" "[british nerd voice] I know it's just delightful!"
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OH MY GOD STOP WRITING SO WELL AND BREAKING MY HEART (i know i requested the sad crimson tide headcanon but still)
Crimson Tide 30
I'm sorry anon, but tysm for the compliment!!! 🥰 Hopefully this will stitch it back together.
One headcanon about this OTP that mends it
Neptune lies on his bed, flicking through photos on his scroll. Photos of Pyrrha — many with him as well — taken over the years, each of them a memory. She's smiling in those pictures, so happy… she wasn't smiling when he saw her last. He sighs… he took her smile away; that's the last thing he ever wanted to do. He flicks to another photo.
Scarlet hair streams behind her like a banner, shimmering in the evening sun. He follows, drawn onward by her melodic laugh through the streets of Argus, weaving between pedestrians and vehicles and the kiosks set up on the side of the road, all the way down to the wharf. She's so fast! He can't keep up, but every now and then she looks back and slows down to offer words of encouragement for him, and they drive him forward.
When they reach the wharf, fear grips his heart. So much water… he can go no further. She knows he won't go further, not out onto the piers, not where he might fall in. She gives him a smile and darts out without a care, to the furthest docking post. Without hesitating, she scampers up onto the post to watch the battle beyond.
This is why they've come. When the sirens sound, when the rest of the city looks out with trepidation, the girl knows only excitement. She runs toward the danger, not away. She wants to see it for herself, not hear the reports later. He doesn't quite get it, but when he's around her he feels like he can do anything… anything except go out to the water, that is.
She watches from her perch as the airships clash with the Grimm, tracer fire and smoke trails crisscrossing the red-gold sky. Among them are a few hunters, either fighting from the airships themselves or leaping out to engage the creatures in aerial combat.
The sight is breathtaking — the little girl gazing up to the battle above. He fumbles momentarily to pull out his scroll and capture the image.
"That's going to be me one day," the girl tells him when she finally comes back in after it's finished, more excited than he'd ever seen her. "I'll become the greatest huntress ever. I'm going to save the whole world!" Crazy as it sounds, he believes her. She's Pyrrha Nikos, and she can do anything.
A little smile comes to Neptune's face — he remembers that day well. "You were right," he murmurs to himself. "You're gonna save the whole world…" His smile falters, then fades. "And I won't be there by your side…" He thumbs over to his messages and opens the one Pyrrha sent him this morning. Even if he'd given up on her, she hadn't given up on him.
He clenches his teeth, then opens up his contacts to call her. No service; she's already out of range. "Damnit…" He backs out and swipes down to Sun's icon, hesitating briefly before tapping it and waiting for the connection.
"Hey man, what's up?" Sun looks to be playing some sort of game and munching on snacks.
"Hey, you know that friend of a friend you told me about?"
"Uuuuh… oh yeah, the band girl? Sure, what about her?"
"No dude, not her, the other friend of a friend."
Sun's eyes widen and the cheese puff he just grabbed falls from his fingers before it reaches his mouth. "Wait… you don't mean the guy with the-."
"Yeah, that's the one."
"Whoa…" Sun is obviously gobsmacked, and why wouldn't he be after hearing that? Honestly Neptune can barely believe it himself.
"I made a huge mistake and I gotta fix it, so I need a favour. I don't know who else can help, so… you think you can convince him to be ready in an hour?"
"Dude, come on, it's me. Of course I can!"
Neptune gives Sun a grateful — if nervous — smile. "Thanks man, I owe you."
Pyrrha sits against the wall, the same melancholy looming over her that has since yesterday, since Neptune had… She squeezes her eyes shut and takes a deep, shuddering breath. She never thought he would leave like that. They were supposed to stay together forever, that's what they'd always said ever since they were children.
Of course she can't really blame him. He's right, she did leave him first, did run off to Beacon; she hadn't realised at the time that the application deadline would already be past when she found out if she was accepted, and he'd seemed so supportive, but it's no excuse. And now with everything… maybe it's for the best that he's staying home, away from all the danger that this life — the life she dragged him into — entails, and all the more for recent revelations.
At least she'll always have her memories. She withdraws her scroll, ignoring the little stab of pain upon being reminded that Neptune saw her message this morning only minutes after she'd sent it — long before she'd left the range of Argus' communication tower — but never sent a response, and instead opening her photo gallery. Inside are countless precious memories, many of them shared with Neptune himself; she taps one of them to enlarge, and it brings with it both a small smile and new tears.
"Neptune?"
The boy turns, a little awkward-looking in his suit, and blushes. "Pyrrha! H-hi. What're you doing out here?"
"I was about to ask you the same thing. I didn't think you'd want to miss a second of a party like this."
"Oh, yeah, it's pretty great huh? I, uh, I just needed some fresh air."
She smiles and nods. "Well then, shall I keep you company?"
He returns her smile. "Sure, that'd be great."
She steps closer to lean lightly against the wall with him. "You know, Melanthe is looking for you. She said you promised to dance with her tonight."
His smile wavers. "That's not-! I didn't promise, I told her maybe we could dance!!"
She giggles, lifting a hand to cover her mouth. "It's alright, I don't mind. Although," she steps away from the wall and in front of him to face him, leaning forward just a bit, "I may be a little jealous if you dance with her before me."
"N-no, never! Besides…" He goes beet red, looking away and shoving his hands in his pockets as he mutters something under his breath.
She blinks. "Hmm? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you."
He mutters again, a little louder. "I said… I don't know how to dance…"
Her eyes widen a little. "Oh… is that…" She takes a half-step closer, straightening as she does and lifting a hand to gently turn his face to meet her gaze. "That's why you were avoiding me last time?"
He nods, obviously embarrassed.
She smiles. "Neptune, it's alright. I don't know how either."
He blinks and snaps his head up, looking at her as though she's grown a second head. "… What? No way! I saw how you moved in the tournament – how you always move for that matter. There's no way you can't dance!!"
She giggles again, but blushes this time as well. "Those are very different than dancing."
He gives her a sceptical look in reply.
She glances to the door of the auditorium she'd exited a few moments ago, from where the music can be heard. "It's just the two of us out here, you know…"
He freezes. "What about it?"
She smiles and extends her hand. "May I have this dance?"
He looks down to her hand, blinking momentarily before blushing and lifting his gaze to her face. "But I don't know what I'm doing."
"Neither do I."
"I'm gonna be clumsy."
"We'll be clumsy together."
"I'll probably trip over your feet!"
She giggles. "Then I'll catch you." She tilts her head and lifts her hand a touch. "Please?"
After a few heartbeats longer, he nods and takes it. "Okay."
He wasn't exaggerating, and neither was she. It only takes a handful of steps before he trips over her feet. She catches him, and for a moment that seems to stretch far longer than it actually lasts she holds him up, her hair spilling down over her shoulder and his. Then the grass, damp from the afternoon's rain, gives way beneath them and sends them both tumbling to the ground where, after rolling a few times, they settle laughing in a heap… just in time for Auric, who's also come looking for Neptune, to find them and snap the photo.
Pyrrha is roused from her memories by the sense of Yang approaching. She looks up to her friend, who stops a few steps from her with a concerned air about her.
"We have company."
Pyrrha blinks and pushes herself to her feet, putting her scroll away as she moves. "What kind?"
Yang motions for her to follow. "It's not Grimm."
Pyrrha nearly misses a step at that. "Atlas is patrolling this far out?"
"Nope; we don't know who it is yet, but someone's coming up on us from behind. In a boat."
Sure enough, once they emerge onto the deck of the ship, Pyrrha looks astern to find that a boat is quickly gaining on them. It's a small and fast island hopper, but far further to sea than such a craft would normally be found.
Yang climbs up the stairs running around the outside of the bridge to shout up to her sister. "Can you tell who it is yet!?"
"It's just… some guy!," comes the response from Ruby on the roof, staring down the scope of her rifle. "He's not wearing a uniform or anything that I can see!"
The rest of the group is arrayed on the deck below, armed and ready, and so Pyrrha leaps down to join them.
"-old you guys we shouldn't have gone by sea. I knew my plan to steal the airship was better!"
"It definitely wasn't, Jaune." Pyrrha gives him a look. "Even if it didn't get us shot down, it would've crippled Argus' sensors and defences, and we're supposed to be protecting people, not endangering them."
Ren joins in with an 'I told you so' look, then they turn their attention the the fast-approaching boat. Pyrrha draws Miló and transforms it into rifle mode, aiming at the craft to get a closer look herself… and her breath catches in her throat.
"Neptune…?"
He trembles, staring at the wall across the room, seemingly unaware of the steaming mug in front of him or the blanket draped around him.
"He's really not looking too hot."
"Do you think he'll be okay?"
"Maybe… we should give him some space?"
"That's probably a good idea."
"Go ahead, I'll stay here to take care of him."
Eventually he becomes aware that someone is holding his hand. His vision is horribly blurry, so he can't tell who; he blinks a few times and finds that his eyes burn badly from dryness, so he squeezes them shut.
"Neptune?"
He knows that voice. That confirms what he thought — it's Pyrrha holding his hand, now squeezing it gently.
"Neptune, are you alright?"
"Yeah, I… I'll be… I'm fine…" It doesn't sound the least bit convincing even to him. When he opens his eyes and blinks away the tears, he finds Pyrrha frowning; clearly it wasn't to her either.
"What are you doing out here? I thought… You said you weren't coming…"
"I wasn't, but.…"
"But?"
"But I… I realised I was being an idiot."
Pyrrha shakes her head softly. "You were just doing what's best for you, that's not-."
"Please don't. Don't do that. I was, I was being stupid. Really stupid!" He sighs. "Because… I was afraid." He hangs his head a bit. "I'm still afraid."
Pyrrha leans a little closer and gives his hand another squeeze. "I'm afraid too, Neptune. We're all afraid, you'd have to be crazy not to be."
He scoffs. "Yeah right, I know you better than that, Pyr. You're the bravest person I've ever met. You're fearless."
She blushes slightly. "Bravery isn't being fearless, it's being afraid but facing your fear and moving onward anyway."
"Huh…" He considers a moment. "Anyway, I thought about it and… and as much as all this scares me, as-," he chokes up, and it takes a moment and a shuddering breath for him to continue. "As terrified as I am that walking this path with you is going to get us both killed, I realised I'm even more terrified that if I don't… if I don't, it'll still happen and I won't be there beside you. That I won't have been there when you needed me."
Pyrrha's eyes glisten with unshed tears and her voice quavers a bit as she speaks. "But we're in the middle of the ocean. The water… how did you…?"
"I had to face my fear, like you said." A small smile spreads on his face. "It turns out I'm a lot more afraid of losing you than I am of the water." He glances toward the door. "But please don't remind me where we are. That's the stuff of nightmares."
She gives a little half-laugh, half-sob but smiles and nods nonetheless, then leans in to kiss him, wrapping her arms around him in a close embrace, both of which he's all too happy to return.
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