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apocalypse-shuffle · 2 years

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Slashers w/ a Soft!Girly!Reader pt1

whose fav color is pink

CHARACTERS: BO, VINCENT, LESTER, MICHAEL, THOMAS

Reader is always black unless I say differently

slight NSFW, so 18+, minors dni

Happy October bitches🫶🏾

BO SINCLAIR

Honestly doesn’t get taking so much time to get ready

All of the pink is a little overwhelming in his closet, but he grows to love the physical representation of you in his life eventually

Will definitely have some weird macho shit to say about your favorite color but you just roll your eyes

I feel like he’d be the type to make a big fuss about you leaving lipstick/gloss on his cheek (but he low key loves it and takes time to admire your lips printed on his skin before washing it off)

At first he’ll be a dick about how particular you are about what you wear but if you get upset enough after one two many times of him going out of his way to get dirt or some shit on your clothes he’ll chill out

He really is an asshole about you taking time to do your hair and makeup and picking out your outfit and matching shoes tho so there’s definitely a conversation that’ll happen because he’s going to piss you off with his little comments and shit

And don’t even get me started if your nails are painted. “They’re nails, what do they need to look cute for?” or you have acrylics. “You can’t even do anything with those. How’re you supposed to wipe your ass?”

Point is, he’s annoying but he’ll come around once you get comfortable with one another and you hand his ass right back to him

This man will delight in the way victims look at you and the fact that they can’t have you is even better

He does like the pretty nighties and lingerie you put on (of course)

You might even be able to convince him to start doing your morning face and hair routines with you (might)

Will also whine to death whenever you’re doing your hair until you’re done, which can last nearly the entire day. Or he’ll drag your process out for days because he keeps distracting you

This man gropes whatever exposed skin he has access to the second he catches you in something revealing

When you come out with something particularly stunning on he gets so flustered (red in the face, tripping over his words) but despite the fact he can’t look you in the eyes for too long he’ll play it off like you’re not all that. You know he’s full of it though, and feel free to tease him about that too

VINCENT SINCLAIR

He absolutely loves silently watching you put on makeup if you’re fond of big looks.

Like, he’ll take you in very intensely so prep yourself for his eyes on your every movement

Wants to know all about the different brushes and how you have to mix two different foundations to match your skin color

Uses some of the techniques you use to make color pop on your darker skin on his wax figures (that’s morbid af)

Will at some point ask if you can either do his makeup for him at least once or teach him how to do it himself

Yes Bo will act a right fool about this (but his opinion’s irrelevant anyway)

If you wear acrylics it’ll take a while before he allows you to go into the biggest town near Ambrose to get them done. He’ll be nervous the whole time till you come back.

Whatever nails you have he eventually wants to decorate, and will come up with designs you like and paint them on over a base.

Just the image of him delicately painting on such a small canvas with laser focus

You’ll find wax in the damndest places I promise you so figure out how to deal with that I guess

LESTER SINCLAIR

Tries his absolute best not to ruin your clothes when he’s done with work and feels genuinely bad if he does

You can’t be mad at him though

Appreciates the new ( nicer) sweet scents you bring to his house since he carries the stench of death with him everywhere

Loves letting you model new clothes or outfit combinations for him

Always excited to see what new things you’ve done with your nails (color, designs, shape, length, etc)

If you allow him to he loves helping you pick out/comb your hair. You don’t trust him to do much else outside of that, and frankly he doesn’t either, but detangling and puffing up your hair he can do.

Is always smelling your hair products and will rate them based off scent alone and not what they’re actually for

If you have locs he’ll lose his mind when you let him touch them, they’re just so soft. Teach him how to re-twist and clip them too; he likes it so you might as well take advantage. Also beads. No matter the hair type, if it’s long enough and you want them, he’ll help you put beads in your hair.

Okay so I went on a tangent about hair stuff but I just really think Lester would enjoy that so, yeah.

MICHAEL MYERS

Doesn’t really care what you wear

Which also unfortunately means that if he wants a piece of you, your stuff’s getting ripped

Keep two of everything or just be prepared to lose a few shirts and the like

Very much enjoys killing the white men (who hate that they find you attractive) that harass you when you’re up and about in Haddonfield as he’s stalking you

Will smudge your lipstick/gloss constantly whether he’s kissing you or not. It’s on purpose you know it is

Is especially fond of how your makeup looks when he wrecks you so maybe don’t go for waterproof beauty supplies. Making you look wild strokes the feral ass ego he possesses

If he hasn’t overstimulated you to the point that your mascara’s running then he’s failed

You thought period blood was bad? Wait until he kills someone in front of you, you’re never getting that shit out so say goodbye to your money (the blood doesn’t care how much it cost and neither does Michael)

Myers, as we all know, is an ass and if he feels like you’re not paying enough attention to him because of clothes or stuffed animals or what have you he will burn that shit or rip it to shreds right in front of you

Tread carefully

THOMAS HEWITT

Obviously Hoyt’s miserable and will make fun of you, but what’s new?

Thomas loves how soft you look though and always kicks up a fuss when Hoyt starts up

Once you’re living with Tommy there’s no “going into town” period, so come to grips with basic nail care and wearing your nails regular or get a kit/nail polish and do that stuff yourself

You’ll learn how to rock some overalls, okay? Cause the second Hoyt sees you done up he’s all of a sudden got the most disgusting jobs for you

Hoyt is a goddamn menace to society so you will either get into arguments with him constantly or end up in tears often

Thomas will step in though so you’re not dealing with his bs alone

Tommy loves when you wear frilly things (so if that’s a staple for you then he eats it up)

Can and will carry you if there’s a particularly muddy spot and you don’t want something to get ruined

But also, trick out some boots. Those bitches will be your best friend

Have spa days. Man’s a hard worker, he’ll appreciate the ease and your presence

Luda Mae will love how feminine you are and will frequently compliment you (but it depends on your specific aesthetic whether you’ll even remotely like the old dresses she gives you)

And if you do like the dresses and they don’t fit she’ll tailor them for you, adding and taking away fabric to your heart’s content

If you don’t already know she’ll teach you how to do all of it (sewing and stuff)

Also if you dress more revealingly invest in some bug spray and sunscreen. Tommy will happily rub it in for you

Monty isn’t rude per se, but he stares at you really hard so you tend to give him a wide berth regardless

Thomas will pick you flowers all the time

He’ll clumsy braid them into crowns but he’s absolutely giddy to present them to you, and you accept them happily

PSA: I conflated the fuck out of Thomas’ and Bubba’s personalities a little towards the end here, but it’s not too bad.

NOTES: Hope you enjoyed, anyway here’s a link to pt2.

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wampabampa · 2 months

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Redesigns Redesigns Redesigns !

And a rename!

🪲☀️🪲☀️🪲☀️🪲☀️🪲

More info below + solo + sketches below cut!

Because I had redesigned cheddar I was looking back at my other two favorite girls, Riley and Boon, and found myself cringing at their designs. They were…okay! But not good anymore! Riley still looked like a sona despite her now being her own character and boon…boon was something else

🐜🐜 Riley Red 🐜🐜

When redoing Riley I wanted her to look super sweet but is surprisingly rude despite her appearance (cliché diner server from the movies). So making her shorter and chubbier instead of mean and lean looking like previously got that part down, all that was left was the hair which was thankfully easy thanks to her design for @/evillillad metal au I realized she look good af with bangs! I also ,add it more everywhere because she only has time to fix her bangs before back to running food! (Also gave her a beaded bracelet that is the same colors as poppy’s neck feathers) (they are gfs cause I said so)

But otherwise Riley is still the same! Same mean lesbian that hates her green bean rival who makes absolutely rancid hot dog combinations across the street

Regarding her diner: still working on an overall design but 85% of the dishware was made by Wally Darling (and friends)! Riley commissioned him for it. The rest she bought from (unfortunately) Howdy!

If she has any merchandise it would likely be similar to those toy kitchen sets or a paint it yourself dish kit for kids

🌧️🌧️ Misty Gloom 🌧️🌧️

For Misty Gloom (Originally Boon Gloon) I wanted them to be something else entirely. I disliked their original designs because while it was fun at the time it got annoying pretty fast. They were originally made for nsfw but I never actually did it! So last night after smoking a bowl with my bestie I came up with the idea: Rain Monster. Rainbow monsters exist, so why can’t a rain monster? So I got to work on making them look as wet as possible- their horns based off sea lettuce and their hair made to look like jelly, I actually got happy with the idea! The bottom of their feet and the palms of their hands I wanted to make it look like and ombré similar to rainbow monsters (I would say they are distant cousins!) for the clothes Rain monsters usually wear loose fitting clothing so I made them wear a caftan dress that was popular in the 70s

Info regarding rain monsters: Rain Monsters are a lot taller than rainbow monsters. They have longer arms fingers and more unique horn shapes and colors (made to look like camouflage). Similar to rainbow monsters when it comes to flowers, rain monsters actually whisper to the clouds and help them collect rain. Think of it like caring for animals and farming! Once the clouds have collected enough water they guide them where to go as a way to keep everything balanced. Throughout the forest and towns they have rain water buckets which they collect after every storm. What they do with it is a mystery. Rain monsters, at least most, are a very reclusive group, often staying away from others that aren’t their own. Of course they will talk to you, but don’t expect them too be excitable like their cousins the rainbow monsters!

Misty would normally be slouched over but for height comparisons I made them stand up straight for this one!

Misty would probably not have any merchandise herself but her species overall the merch would be make your own horns kit or a rain collector bucket

🐭🐭 Cheddar close ups 🐭🐭

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murachinchi · 3 months

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Naur I'm gud, I can differenciate (idk how to English sometimes despite me speaking da language) and it ain't effecting my life, I keep my fanfiction and the fanfiction I read in my head, or anonymously.

One of my favs is this story, it's called I Went to Another World and Demon Shotas Grew Attached to Me After I Mated With Them, it's by Totemo Zako (Sugoku Zako), when I see stuff like this I'm like "le inhal I need MORE" I love that story so much, but when I see stuff like this irl I'm like this girl at 11:54 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JWofUuMlHlw, and obvi I don't wanna breed with an animal 💁🏽😂

Which reminds me of these annoying af people (I think most are Christians) who think that I (and many other people) worship the devil for liking "Paint the town red" or other stuff like it, smh, their logic is that if I do the dance or like the music, through those actions I'm worshipping the devil, like seriously? How does that work? Does that mean that if I like Shota my moral compass is broken and I'm into that stuff irl? If I like watching furries I wanna make love to an animal?

They are SO annoying 😮‍💨 it's fantasy and made up, calm thyself, and apparently I support it for liking Shota, by that logic I could say we all support it since they like watching children do ANYTHING, like doing gymnastics or smth

I'm getting off track here, imma just stop right there before I go any further and turn this into an entire vent 😂

-🤡🫠

i second that 😔😔it's so annoying when those kind of ppl come to me to complain about 2 fictional characters with impossible age gap like calm down.. they r not real 😭

but it is what it is all we can do is just block them and hope they do the same. im just glad i never met ppl like that irl

#ask

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falloutjay · 3 years

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Christophe x childhood friend reader x Kenny, Christophe, Gregory and reader have been friends since gradeschool. Reader was a very emotional person who cared about everyone. She was very sweet yet still helped the boys assassinating people. Reader had always had an obvious crush on Christophe but she never seems get to an direct answer and it really starts to bum her out. So she starts trying to stop showing her feelings to him. It worries people because she starts being more quieter than her normal self. When asked, all she can say ' I just realized that there's something I could never have' and nothing else. It's until reader's parents (who are bakers) get a job opportunity in a town named South Park. It's a very awkward goodbye (with Christophe, it's sad af with Gregory) and she leaves.

As if a switch was pulled, reader goes back to being a sweet and emotional girl (much to her parents delight/relief). We makes lot of new friends and gets a new crush too, Kenny McCormick. She's shy around him at first, much to her friends: Bebe, Wendy, and Nicole's confusion. She confides in them and tells her past troubles with love. They comfort her and tell that it's sure to be different. So reader lightens up around Kenny and they begin a beautiful relationship.

Yet we hit a rough patch when Kenny's womanizing way Catches up with him (Kelly, Tammy, etc) so we naturally get defensive (not to how we were with Christophe but still pretty strained). But worry not, reader (and her friends) win their class a trip to London (they sold 7,777 cookies!!!). Reader is nervous but doesn't stress to hard, it's not like Christophe is still leaving there right? Well after settling into their hotel, Reader and Gregory run into each other and have a heartfelt reunion then reader reunites with Christophe and it's really awkward. So Gregory and Christophe decide to join them on their trip, but something wrong. Christophe seems a lot more open with reader, which confuses reader and Kenny, having connected the dots, tries keeping reader for himself. And poor reader's in a blushy confusing emotional spiral.

I had such a blast writing this. Writing Christophe is mad fun.

Btw, I implied that the events of the movie never happened here, so Wendy and the others never met Gregory or Christophe.

Kenny and Christophe are also pretty mean girls basically but I loved it so much, I couldn't help myself. ^^

(EXCUSE MY BAD FRENCH; IT HAS BEEN YEARS SINCE MY LAST FRENCH LESSONS AND I WAS PRETTY BAD AT IT)

Warnings: Kenny and Christophe are a little OOC I think, swearing, French, Bad French.

____________________________

Christophe x Childhood friend!Reader x Kenny

You hummed as you waited for your best friends in the whole wide world. You had prepared a nice little lunch with self-made sandwiches, lemonade, and brownies.

Your excitement went through the roof, once you heard the door to your secret hideout open. Gregory was the first to come in. “Ah, Y/N, what a lovely surprise!” He said gleamingly and admired the beautifully set table. He put down his backpack and as he did so, your longtime crush strolled in. Cigarette in mouth, dirty all over him and an annoyed expression painted on his face, Christophe.

“Hey, how was the job?” You asked sweetly, as Gregory sat down, and Christophe did so too after a short hesitation. “It went well unti-” “Until zat fucking dumb kid made the wrong zound and made me mess up the whole time plan. Why does no one know what a dying giraffe sounds like?” He ranted, hands moving around hastily, while you and Gregory chuckled. “It’s not funny!” The dark-haired protested while he lit his cigarette. You just smiled.

Despite Christophe’s mean demeanor, you had a huge soft spot for him. “Hey, Christophe?” You asked, demanding his attention, which he gave you, while also taking a bite of a sandwich. “Would you maybe like to hang out sometime?” Gregory pretended to not exist and focused on the suddenly very interesting drink in his hand. He knew you liked their friend. But he also knew Christophe better than anyone else. And the blond knew this couldn’t end well.

“Ah, excuse moi, mais…I just don’t have the time currently.” You nodded, trying your best to not show how disappointed you were. It pained Gregory to see you like this. He loved you like a sister and seeing how Christophe was constantly breaking your little heart made him sad.

To his demise, you only grew quieter with time. When Gregory pressed you on the matter, asking what’s wrong, all you managed to mumble was: “I guess… I just realized that there's something I could never have”. It made him worry. You were such a sweet girl but recently you had become a husk of yourself and today was no different.

They had just come back from another job but this time you didn’t even greet them, just passed the folders in which you listed the new jobs they could take. “Here. I am afraid I have some bad news though.” You mumbled as you pressed the papers in their hands. Gregory looked at you with worry on his face. “What’s wrong, dear?” He asked and noticed how close you were to crying.

“My parents got a really good job over in Colorado. We will move next week.” You mumbled. Gregory threw the papers across the room, before storming to hug you. You held him close, feeling sad, that you would never again drink tea with your favorite English gentleman, and that deeply saddened you.

Your eyes wandered over to Christophe, who looked somewhat sad but made no move to express this. “I can't believe it. You’re THE most important part of this organization and you will be gone by next week?! Who is gonna help me with all the papers?” Gregory held you so close, you almost had trouble breathing.

“I gotta go early today since I have to start packing. I will miss you two so much.” You said, not being able to stop the tears from flowing down your cheeks. “Yeah, sure, take your time. If you need any help, you know you can always count on me.” Gregory said, finally letting go of you. You nodded and walked up to Christophe.

“I guess that’s it huh?” You muttered. “Oui. You will be a great loss to zis organization.” Awkwardly you nodded. Was this really everything he had to say? You didn’t see Gregory in the background, wildly gesticulating for him to say more. The dark-haired raised an eyebrow until he finally got what his partner tried to say.

“We will miss you.” He thought this was a perfectly fine answer, but didn’t catch how much that hurt you. “Yeah, me you too.” You said and walked towards the exit. “See you guys!” You called out before you vanished.

“Great job making her feel like shit.” “What waz I supposed to say?”

“My God, Y/N, you have been here for over half a year now! Just tell him already!” Bebe commented and you blushed profusely. “N-no! He doesn’t even like me that much!” You protested, your cheeks colored in a deep red. “There is no point in denying sweetheart. You both are head over heels for each other. Trust me, Stan told me how much Kenny talks about you.” Wendy reassured you. She pointed with her fork over to the table the boys were seated on and sure enough, the blond boy you were talking about was looking over, waving even when he spotted you looking at him. You shyly waved back, before hiding in your sweater.

“Okay, Y/N, what the fuck happened when you lived in England? I can’t imagine you always behave like this around someone you like.” Nicole looked sternly at you, and you let out a deep sigh. “Well, fine, yeah, there was a guy before Kenny that I liked.”

The girls all pushed their food trays to the side, to stick their heads closer together. “In England, I was close friends with two guys.” “Ohh, a three-way?” “Bebe!” Wendy hissed before they let you continue. “They are assassins and I helped them with everything behind the scenes, like contacting clients, paperwork, and all that. Gregory was my best friend, and the other guy is a French, god-hating, foul-mouthed idiot named Christophe. And I really had a thing for him, but he was always super cold and just not that interested in me.” You rambled and the girls listened attentively. “Okay, okay, Y/N, hear me out on this one…” Bebe began, and you looked at her. “Have you maybe thought about the fact that that Christophe guy was just an idiot? You’re great and Kenny sooo has a thing for you. Just go for it!” Nicole and Wendy nodded. “Yeah, you gotta make new experiences, real experiences.” Nicole agreed and Wendy gave it a thumbs up.

Before they could talk any further, you felt a tap on your shoulder and turned around. Kenny stood there, smiling warmly. “Hey, Y/n, I just wanted to ask if you maybe wanna go to the mall with me on Saturday and maybe get a smoothie or something?” You felt your face heat up and heard the girls squeal quietly. You nodded. “Yeah, that would great!” You answered and he shot you a flashy smile. “Great. I’ll come to pick you up, yeah?” You nodded excitingly and he walked back to the boy’s table. “Ahh, you got a date!” Nicole beamed and so did the other two. A big smile was glued to your face, and you only managed to nod. “We will so come over on Friday and get you ready! Girls’ night!” Bebe planed and you happily agreed.

Being with Kenny was great. He was loving, always looked out for you, loved listening to you, and yet, you hated his guts just now. You wanted to strangle those stupid sluts that constantly clung to his side like their life depended on it. Yeah, you knew Tammy and he had history, as did Kelly, but did he really have to talk to them that much? Didn’t he see how much you hated it? “Hey, babe!” He whispered into your ear, and you moved away. “Hey, Kenny.” You said coldly. You waited for Mister Garrison to finally let you in the hotel. You and the girls managed to win the school competition for a trip to London, by selling 7,777 packages of cookies, totally legally, by the way, nothing to see here, so now your class was in London and after you sat with the girls in the bus Kenny had sneaked up to you. You were kind of nervous, fearing that you could maybe run into…him… but there was no chance he still lives here, right? Right?

You didn’t know why, but since Kenny had started to talk to his bitches, as you called them, again you distanced yourself from him. You were afraid of being hurt again, so distancing yourself was an automatic reaction.

Once you got settled in your room, the girls proposed discovering the town, since you guys had no events for the day. You happily greed and once in the corridor, you spotted Stans gang down the hall. Wendy asked them to join, much to your demise. You wanted girl time, not being secretly annoyed with Kenny time.

You, Wendy, Bebe, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny wandered the streets, taking in the new scenery. “It’s pretty nice here, isn’t it?” Wendy asked as she put the sweets she bought in her bag. “Yeah!” You agreed and sipped on the tea you ordered.

You guys had sat down at a café to just watch the bussing streets and enjoy some British tea. Kyle was talking to Stan about Cartman, and what prank they’d play on him tonight. Kenny was chatting with Bebe and Wendy about Tammy and Kelly, much to your demise and you just looked around. Your eyes wandered and you watched the other patrons when you stopped at a familiar seeming one. Your mouth was agape, there’s no way your eyes weren’t tricking you right now?!

The in leather gloved hands, the orange button-up shirt, that thick golden hair… A book rested in his left hand, while the other held the tea with an extended pinky. It was him. Gregory. He must have noticed you staring as he looked up and recognized you as well. A big smile appeared on his face, and he quickly put the book in his leather messenger bag. You got up, ignoring the questions from the others, while you ran into Gregory’s extended arms.

“Y/N my dear! I would have never guessed to see you again!” Gregory proclaimed, spinning you around. Neither of you cared that everyone was watching. “I’m so happy to see you. It has been ages!” You mumbled, still hugging your long-lost friend tightly. You only lost contact because you lost your phone during the move, so you had no way of contacting them. Before you two could talk, Kenny appeared by your side.

“Hey, babe, who is this guy?” He asked and as you turned around you saw the questioning looks of everyone. “Oh sorry. Guys, this is my old friend Gregory, we have been friends since we were little. Gregory, these are my friends from America, Wendy, Bebe, Kyle, Stan, and my boyfriend Kenny.”

Gregory properly introduced himself and moved to sit with you guys. He talked with your new friends, and you immediately saw how Wendy and Bebe hung to his lips. You understood that. Gregory was a really good-looking young man by now. You chuckled when you spotted how jealous Stan became with each passing second. Soon Gregory’s phone rang, and he excused himself to take the call.

“Oh my god! That’s the Gregory, you told us about, Y/N? Why did you hide that he’s a British snack!” Bebe exclaimed and you chuckled. Soon Gregory sat back down and that devious smile on his lips made you wonder.

“Ze Mole is coming.” He just said, knowing you wanted to question his smile. You felt the blood in your veins freeze for a second.

“He is still here?” You asked and Gregory nodded. “Why wouldn’t he? We kept the organization running. And there is always a spot for you if you ever want to come back.” The blond spotted the longing in your eyes at an instant. Kenny watched it happening quietly, carefully watching you. Soon enough, a certain someone arrived, pulling another chair to your table, and sitting on it backward, so that he was leaning on the backrest.

Your heart was beating like you had just run a marathon as you inspected every detail about him. His dark messy hair was roughly still the same and his trademark cigarette his only accessory. The tight-fitting dark green shirt fit him perfectly you thought and the tactical belt around his torso was still there. He also still wore fingerless gloves. The two really didn’t change much, apart from becoming older.

“Well, Christophe, these are Y/Ns friends from America.” Gregory introduced them and the dark-haired male lazily gifted him a wave. Wendy and Bebe noticed how you were obviously checking him out and laughed.

“I see you got a thing for baddies.” Bebe whispered into your ear, and you wanted to protest, but got interrupted by Stan.

“Well, I like this sort of reunion, but don’t wanna want to continue or sightseeing?” Gregory smiled warmly, as he offered to play tour guide for you. Your friends happily agreed to his proposition, feeling glad to have a real British tour guide. So, you guys paid for your orders and started walking.

To your surprise, instead of walking up front with Gregory, Christophe walked next to you, eyeing you curiously. “It’s nice to ze you again, mon chéri.” He said you felt your face heat up. Did he seriously just call you that? Did he actually say he’s happy to see you again?

“Well, it has been a while, hasn’t it?” You mumbled and Christophe had a pleasant smile resting on his face. That was a new thing, you thought. While Christophe walked next to you on your right, Kenny was on your left and eyeing the French with jealous eyes. He was an expert at reading people and he spotted Christophe’s attraction to HIS girlfriend miles go and he wasn’t blind to your body language either. You two had history. That much was clear.

Gregory led the group down to a nice spot near the riverbanks of the Thames where the girls took pictures together. Kyle and Gregory switched taking the group photos, while Kenny stood next to Christophe, both looking at the others.

Everyone felt the obvious tension between the two. “Don’t even think about, frog eater.” Kenny said, which made Christophe chuckle.

“Ahh, you Américains are so funny. You think everything belongs to you, when in reality she was already mine, once I sat down at ze table.” Christophe took the last puff of his cigarette, before stomping on it on the ground. Kenny averted his gaze and looked at his newfound rival.

“Yours?” He questioned but didn’t Christoph didn’t reward him with an answer. He only chuckled and put a new unlit cigarette in his mouth.

“Écoutez-Vous. You sound so funny.” The girl the two were fighting about returned with Bebe and Wendy and they all obviously felt the tension between the two.

“Ken, come over. Group pics!” Kyle called out to him and somewhat annoyed, Kenny jogged over. So you and your two friends were left with the French man.

“I just wanted to say, you look formidable, ma briquette.” Wendy and Bebe quietly squealed, as Christoph took your hand to press a kiss on your knuckles. You blushed a deep red. What had happened to him? He never behaved like that, but you couldn’t deny how he made your knees weak.

“Hey, Hey, Hey!” Kenny called out and quickly came stomping back. “I just told you to back off.” Kenny said. “Ah sorry, my English is pretty bad, I must have misunderstood.” Christophe shrugged. Kenny wrapped his arms around you and held you close.

“I’ll fuck you up if you don’t keep yourself in check.” Kenny spat and you broke free of his forced hug. “Ken, what the hell?” You questioned his sudden aggression, but you were quickly shoved away by Christophe, who now got all up in Kenny’s face.

“Oh, zen pray to whatever hate-filled God you believe in, and I hope for you he’z real because nothing will be as real as your fucked up face once I am done.” “Oh, I don’t believe in Gods. Not when I already know what hell looks like and so will you when I get started.”There was no point in denying that you, Wendy, and Bebe were super interested in this showdown. It was interesting to see two guys who were obviously fighting over you get so riled up.

Bebe leaned over and whispered: “Damn Y/N, you really got the hot guys fighting over you.” You had a faint pink tone on your cheeks. The two guys you liked were ready to basically kill each other over you. It was kind of flattering. Stan and Kyle tried getting the two to calm down, but to no avail, as they just kept going with their petty insults.

Gregory walked up next to you, leaning down to talk. “You are the only one who can get them to stop, you know that right?” He questioned.

“Yeah. But you must admit, this is kinda entertaining.” He laughed and nodded. “You’re right.” “Give me a minute Gregory. I never had someone fight for me.” You whispered with a hot face, watching as Kyle and Stan tried to pull the two away from each other.

Your heart was confused, seeing Christophe again and how he now behaved towards you awakened feelings you thought weren’t there anymore, but you also loved how Kenny was ready to fight for you. How could anyone not find this super interesting?

#south park x reader #christophe x reader

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theonceoverthinker · 5 years

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OUAT 3X07 - Dark Hollow

After the BEST WEEKEND EVER, I’m back! Just giving you a heads up -- to say on the timeline, I’m gonna pump these guys out a bit faster than usual, so my reviews may end up a lot shorter.

Anyway, I hope your week wasn’t too...HOLLOW in my absence!

The puns return!!!

Anywho, smart stuff under the cut!

Press Release

Mr. Gold and Regina send Ariel back to Storybrooke with an item that will allow Belle to locate a hidden artifact that could help take down Pan. But unbeknownst to them, two men have broken into the town with the intent to stop them - at all costs. Meanwhile, Emma, Neal and Hook attempt to find Dark Hollow, where Peter Pan’s shadow dwells, in order to capture it, and Mary Margaret is upset with David for keeping his poisoning a secret from her.

Main Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness

Storybrooke

Conflicts where Belle gets to be in the role of hero always have the potential to be great, and while some *cough “The Outsider”* fail, this one does a fair amount better! Belle’s last conversation with Rumple and the little help she can provides makes her moping understandable (Albeit a little annoying) and Ariel’s encouragement and need for this to be successful acts as a great contrast.

I do wish that more went into Belle’s story here. As is, it’s Belle mopes, she hears a keyword or sees something, and she just solves the problem. There’s no either moment of realization on Belle’s part or a conversation that is communicated to Belle that states that she’s already a hero. Well, sort of scratch that because of her conversation with Archie at Granny’s, but it’s never reinforced by anyone. Because of that, while not badly put together, the problem that Belle had at the start of the episode isn’t really solved. It’s just dismissed. For an example of this done right, look at “Bear and the Bow.” There, Merida doesn’t believe that she can save her family on her own, needs to be pushed into solving the problem on her own, and when she does, there’s that moment of realization that she had that potential. This is a flabbier version of that story.

Neverland

“The fact that they both have feelings for you is dangerous, too.” Oh, the love triangle episode. Look, I’ll level with you. The best part of this segment is the end where Emma nips this in the bud and tells them both to fuck off until the mission is done.

And I get that the framing is supposed to be like that. Killian and Neal are so invested in their romances with Emma that they endanger everything, but it’s in no way anything less than an utter pain in the ass to watch. And it leaves such a bad mark on both men, having them prioritize a romance over Henry -- Neal’s son and the motivation of Killian’s redemption! What I would’ve done is stated that Dark Hollow would enhance feelings of bitterness towards one’s companions, making the pettiness here work better. That way, the almost cartoon-y and sabotage-y lengths that the guys went to would’ve been much better. As it stands, it’s annoying to watch and because the segment is from Emma’s POV, it doesn’t even serve to deliver a theme like some other stories of its ilk do for other characters.

Part of me feels like this episode was supposed to be a callout to shippers to tell them to focus on the main story over the ships, but for that to be truly effective and not make Neal and Killian come off so badly, there’d need to be either a lot more self awareness from the two guys (Which would end the story prematurely) or some agent that would artificially push those issues to a place of greater importance than Henry’s safety.

On the flip side, I love Pan’s gambit. It’s amazing seeing Pan and Felix plant the seeds of Pan’s next scheme in a way that makes it look like Henry’s solving the mystery. It’s such a treat seeing this and actually having the knowledge of knowing precisely what Pan is doing beforehand. We see how sharp Pan is as he checks the boxes of exploiting Henry’s goodwill (Wanting to be a hero, the connection between Henry and his father, the love of fairytales) and all the while making him feel clever. It’s not frustrating, but because of the POV, it makes an aspect of this kind of story that’s been so ingrained into our skulls at this point feel fresh! His use of Wendy to paint himself as a hero is fantastic, doing a great job to tilt Henry’s thought process.

Insights - Stream of Consciousness

-”They saved us.” I really love how much everyone cheers over the heroes saving them. Look, the heroes have their faults, but there’s a reason why the town at large stays loyal to them.

-I also ADORE scenes of Storybrooke at large working together. All of the major players are so great!

-I love the overall BIGNESS of the cloaking spell. It something that follows our characters throughout the rest of the series and it’s appropriately epic and not just in the sense that its an obstacle for our “villains.”

-I can’t look at that “Leaving Storybrooke” sign. I just can’t. It makes me so sad!

-”She’ll know exactly what to do.” Rum Rum, just because you can perceive vague shit doesn’t mean everyone else can!

-”Guess you’ll just have to trust me.” Reggie, you are lucky that Ariel is a trusting person because this is shady af!

-”Someone is leaving Neverland.” This line is utterly fantastic, especially with how subtly it’s said. You get a real sense of how embedded Pan truly is with Neverland as a whole.

-*Seethes in anger as fucking C*leman shows up* Fuck you, C*leman.

-”No giant stepping on my Miata!” If Anton were here, he’d take offense to that. ...Also, where IS he? Does he not show up for the rest of the series? If so, I honestly regret not honoring him in my last overview.

-I love how Archie was just anticipating slipping into therapist mode, hungry for that session like I am for that cheeseburger!

-”Now you’ve got a dress code? I seem to recall some Ruby outfits that are seared into my brain.” Grumpy! Bad!

-What is it with red-haired characters in this series ROCKING the color green? Ariel and Zelena just make it look so good!

-”He’s really into being cryptic, isn’t he?” Honey, you have NO idea!

-”It’s good to see you inherited his tunnel vision.” Snowy, you have NO idea.

-”I’m not holding your family prisoner.” I love that subtle bit of gaslighting. No, he’s not holding Henry’s family prisoner, but he is holding HENRY prisoner.

-”It’s a corkscrew, but it’s not what Rumple needs.” I don’t know about that, Belle. He could stab a Lost Boy or two. *shrugs*

-Wow! Some subtle acting from Emiliee! Look at her hands as she holds Pandora’s Box! The subtle shaking is amazing, saying so much about how powerful the box truly is!

-Pan is such a sneaky little bitch. I love how as soon as one plan is discovered, it only takes him another moment to create another plan that accounts for the failings of the last one.

-*Emma almost decapitates Killian with her sword* I’m pretty sure Colin said that that was a blooper that actually made it onto the show! XD

-Hey pre-Underworld Underworld filter! Good to see you!

-I can also understand why David wouldn’t want to tell Snow: For Emma’s sake. She just gets her parents back and then she’d have to lose at least one of them. David was trying to spare her from losing both of them too.

-”You want to tell me how that coconut works?” You should probably tell Jen too because WOW, she hated that prop!

-I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that 99% of Emma’s relief in that scene was Jen’s relief in finally closing that fucking coconut!

-”Providing motivation.” “For what?” “For doing what needs to be done.” Wow. Looks like Rumple’s cryptic-ness is rather genetic.

Arcs - How Are These Storylines Progressing?

The Mission to Find Henry - We now have a way back AND a way to defeat Pan! Things feel like they’re chugging along again, and it works pretty naturally with how the last two episodes went.

Killian’s Redemption - “Why would I have done that [Not tell the group about Neal]?” I like how even as he’s in this love triangle with Neal, Killian doesn’t regret saving him for even a second. That really speaks to Killian’s growth!

Regina’s Redemption - Regina keeping her part of their bargain is a BIG deal in terms of her redemption!

Rumple’s Redemption - Rumple actually says that he will do his best to honor Belle and Ariel’s request to help Wendy and that also is a BIG step! Also, Rumple pointing out that Regina’s jealous of having someone shows a fair amount of self-awareness!

Favorite Dynamic

Henry and Pan. I’ve gone on about them above, but Pan’s understanding of Henry’s personality and subsequent manipulation of that for his own gain is fascinating to watch! Despite only knowing Henry for less than a week, Pan’s got him pegged! He knows the qualities that Henry wants to see in someone he’ll trust and his own aspirations for himself. And though manipulated, Henry is so careful about Pan, showing a lot of intelligence. His “weakness” here is hs kind heart and it’s the perfect aspect on Henry to exploit once it’s clear that method of lying won’t work.

Writer

Kalinda Vazquez and Andrew Chambliss are up again, and I found their storytelling here to be a bit lackluster. The Storybrooke segment was enjoyable, but flabby in terms of delivery and the exact opposite could be said for the Neverland main story. It’s not terrible, but just a little half baked.

Rating

7/10. I wish things had been a bit tighter here. As it stands, this wasn’t OUAT’s best. BUT that’s not to say that there weren’t things I liked. Everything with Pan, Henry, and the Darling siblings was magnificent and Ariel (As usual) is simply a delight)! Also, Emma’s speech at the end where she put the issue of shipping to rest to focus on the mission was just fantastic and an utterly badass moment! I just wished they played more of (Or in the case of Emma’s speech, a better) a role in the main stories.

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”

Grumpy Beauty - Once again, we get to see bits of these two working together early on and it’s just the best!

Captain Swan - Okay, I love how Emma’s big point in Killian’s favor was how he told her about Neal. That’s such an earnest, sweet, and Emma-like thing to adore. Also, “so when I win your heart, Emma -- and I will win it -- it won’t be because of any trickery. It will be because you want me.” I love that resolve of Killian’s to not only be with Emma, but to be with her honestly. It speaks to sentiments she values and shows his commitment to his own redemption. ALSO, “I’ve yet to see you fail.” Killian honestly does believe in her!

Swan Fire - I really enjoyed Neal’s apology at the end of the episode and I love how you can see how his returned resolve to focus on Henry had its effect on Emma and was so sincere! <3

Rumbelle - Just look at the way Belle basically blubbers as she first sees Rumple’s face through the sand dollar. It’s so beautiful. Honestly, this whole episode is a love letter to Rumbelle and just how much they mean to each other and trust in each other. “Tell Belle I love her. And that she’s right. I WILL see her again.”

Snowing - I love Snow and David’s argument. It’s so raw and it so clearly comes from this place of love.

Swan Queen - There’s really something to be said for Emma succeeding thanks to her understanding of Regina whereas both Neal and Killian sort of failed her! <3

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Again, thank you for your patience with these more rushed out reviews. I really want to stay on schedule and thankfully, there wasn’t a hello of a lot to say here.

Also, thank you to @watchingfairytales! It was lovely meeting half of you guys at the con!

Season 3 Total (66/220) Writer’s Scores: Adam and Eddy (19/60) Kalinda Vazquez (17/40) Andrew Chambliss (17/50) Jane Espenson (10/30) David Goodman (10/40) Robert Hull (10/40) Christine Boylan (10/20) Daniel Thomsen (10/30)

Operation Rewatch Archives

#ouat #once upon a time #watching fairytales #ouat 3x07 #ouat rewatch #jenna watches ouat

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nevertrustamanwho · 6 years

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Vent

this is not a ntam, more of a vent.. i don’t really have anyone to talk to :( sorry, it got very long, i hope that’s okay. some backstory: i’m on vacation in senegal, where my dad is from, visiting my (half)sister, living with her and her husband, it’s a big house, divided in flats basically, his mom lives here and family stays here when they’re i town.. also i don’t really identify as a woman/girl

since four days his nephew’s staying here for work. he’s abt 10 years older than me. most ppl here a very religious but he drinks and stuff, so we went out to have some beer, also he speaks english and i don’t speak french or wolof (native language here)

he was like “you can tell me anything, i’m cool” regarding drinking & smoking. he asked if i smoke weed, i said yes. we go out i have a beer, don’t even finish it. he asks a friend if he can get some weed (i didn’t ask him to). while we’re at the pub he asks me shit like if i have a bf i say no, he’s like “i can’t believe that” i’m like “i don’t want one, most guys are annoying af, can’t just chill always have to try some shit”(also i’m not interested in any guy atm).

also he tells me i could be a model, but i don’t think much about it bc a lot of people tell me that and i actually want to get into it. he also tells me he thinks we’ll get along, i’m like “sure i get along with most weed smokers.”

he keeps asking me questions like “what’s the craziest thing you’ve done. me: “idk” he: ”sleep w/ a girl?” i say “no, i like girls but haven’t done anything w/one”. we go back, bc his family is asking where we are, they can’t know he drinks. before we leave he pay but i offer to pay for my own stuff and he says “women here don’t have to pay for anything”

later his friend brings him weed and when his family sleeps we smoke in his room. he tells me he likes me, my innocent thinking, stupid ass: “your cool too”. we get high. he asks „you want to sleep in my room tonight?“ i’m like „no, lmao“. that’s when i start to feel weird abt the evening.

my left arm is full of scars from when i used to cut myself, he points that out and asks where it’s from, i say i used to cut myself, he’s like “why?“ i just say “i had and have depression” he says he gets it bc he lived in the u.s. but can’t understand “how you could do that to yourself” and basically wants me to tell him everything abt it. i say:”you won’t understand it bc you don’t have it and i don’t do it anymore” he keeps pushing and asks me why i won’t share it with him, like i didn’t just meet him that day.. also i don’t talk abt anything with anyone. he also asked if i’m depressed at that moment. i say “no” and am annoyed and he says “i’m just fucking with you haha” to which i just respond that he’s not funny and doesn’t get it.

we chill and he keeps asking weird question. if i dated a black/senegalese guy before, kissed or slept w/ one i say no, he asks if i want to, me: i don’t care where someones from or what his skin colour is but i don’t want to w/ you. (he has the ashiest elbows i’ve ever seen) he wants to kiss me i say no, and he’s like: “i just think it’s sad you’ve never kissed your people before, like your senegalese side” ?!?!???(i think to myself, like my disgusting dad didn’t kiss me against my will enough) and tells me he likes me. i keep saying i don’t want to and have to point to my cold sore (i was starting to get ill) to get him to stop. he asks if i’m a virgin, (no) since when i’m not if it was with my first and only boyfriend (no) and what i like in bed and what i know abt sex, where i know it from. (i don’t want to tell him “oh, y’kno my brother sexually abused me when we were kids and made me addicted to porn and then i let older guys use me when i was 15 and wasted” and lots of other reasons, also bc it’s none of his fucking business especially since we talked abt how people here care to much abt what you’re doing not abt what they’re doing..) i don’t really say anything he asks if it’s from movies and vids, i say “yes” so he’ll leave me alone. he says “oh, you’re a bad girl” and smiles.. fucking dickhead.

at some point he asks if i could see me with a hijab (?!???) i just say “i’m not muslim, or religious in any way.” i kinda jokingly ask him if he could see himself in one. he doesn’t get it and says that it’s not for men.. also he asked me if he could see me without glasses like it’s something special..

he tries to tell me all this shit i already know like black people in the u.s. are at the bottom bc the system oppresses them (which i’m using pretty easy language for right now but his was even easier probably bc he thought “that woman couldn’t know anything, abt anything”), media paints a picture to support a narrative blablabla like i know all of this and also i’m high and just wanna chill.

then he starts this conversation abt how there is no explanation on how humans and exist and what was before. i’m like “dude have you never heard of dinosaurs?” and he actually asks me “is there any proof that they existed?”….. me: “fossils!?!????” and he asks if i’ve seen them… i think, is this idiot fucking serious??? but since i’ve actually been to the natural history museum where i live and they have, among other things, a huge tyrannosaurus skeleton, i can say “yes, and also what would anyone get out of making that up?”. and he’s basically just like “oh”. he is now talking abt how we don’t know what we’re made of.. i’m like “atoms, everything’s made of atoms” then he asks what they’re made of (which i actually kinda know but not their name and also 1. i’m not a scientist and 2. google is still free) and also i know we don’t know everything but like don’t try to tell me we don’t know shit that we actually know. and then he tells me this story about how he knows what happens bc “HE” (god) told him. and it’s like there was only one star that was feeling lonely and then he made himself into another star, trying to tell me it’s a scientific and spiritual fact whatever the fuck that means (i’ll give him that new stars form when old ones collapse but it’s really not that easy). and with everything i was just like “yeah you can believe whatever you believe, but i’ll believe what i believe and don’t try to push your beliefs on me” and thinking “dude when the fuck did i ever ask for you opinion on anything??”

i had all these other points to make (why would you think god’s a man, why do you think you’re right when you’ve been raised to be religious and i formed my opinions for myself? also i don’t say im right) but i let him believe what he believes and also don’t give enough of a shit abt him to care

anyway the next morning he comes to my sisters flat and calls me “miss atom” i call him “mister religious” he corrects me with “spiritual”.. whatever.. later my sister says we should do a siesta and he says only if I invite him, i say i don’t care, do what you want. i purposefully stay on the couch while he and my sister are on a mattress and he “jokingly” says that my sister should go over and i should come to him. me:”she can come over here but i won’t come over there”

then somehow we/he get into a convo abt marriage, i say idc abt that, if i love someone i don’t need to prove that by marrying. he tries to talk me into it, if it‘s his culture or religion, and his parents i say i don’t care, what do they have to do with our relationship (also thinking that if i’d ever marry it would be a woman, only if she wanted tho) and it just gives me the whole „asking for a friend“ vibe.

this day i actually get ill so i just stay in my room, mostly to avoid him. i’ve been ill since then and he asks me 10times a day if i feel better yet, like it would change in the 30min you left my alone. one time he even called me “baby-*my*name*” which might have been nice if he wouldn’t have done all that out her shit.. but still condescending.

this morning he came up and i was changing in my room, my door wasn’t closed all the way but when i heard he was up i closed it properly and while i was completely naked he comes in without knocking, it really wasn’t on purpose but still made me fucking pissed. so today when he asks me if i can give him some water (i was pouring something to drink for myself, but it also pisses me of that the men here always ask women to get them shit) i just wanted to throw the glas into his face and tell him to get his own shit.

basically he is just really annoying and invasive, but i can’t really say anything bc i’m a guest and don’t want to be rude, i might anyway at some point and if he has a problem with it i’ll just snitch to his family 🤷🏽‍♀️

also this fucking stupid pissward works for the government.. the world is doomed people!

---

There are quite a few red flags in this story, as well as a strong superiority complex coming from him. I’d definitely be wary of the guy and never be alone in a room with him. Personal space and boundaries are something he doesn’t seem to care about.

#submission #assault tw #rape mention tw

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dunesand · 6 years

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bulbapedia categorizes pokemon in their color groups so i made a bunch of trainer cards aka ocs for da future this is a master post for me to look back to in the future when i want to draw/flesh them out lmao!!!

red trainer Oh-sung...delinquent. sort of wishes he could carry cuter pokemon but he's gotta put up a TOUGH ACT. doesnt like battling but good at it. his darumaka is his true bff.

blue trainer Insik doctor/rescue guy! nice dude, doesnt battle. always busy and likes oh-sung a lot. he loves cold drinks and cant stand the heat. loves the beach but loves really cold weather cant stand tropical beach towns. cant swim!

yellow trainer Namki traveling clown!! loves their pokemon a lot!!! is horrible at battling!!! just wants to have a good time. will take your things and their pokemon will also take your things.

green trainer Shingo a mess of a human being depressed as hell. just graduated college and is a station master due to family pressure. would eat nothing but top ramen and never clean if his pokemon didn't help him get up and feel good every morning. super city boy.

charcoal trainer Dowon a NINJA. can tell you which naruto episode is his favorite and why. throws his freakin minior everywhere like a shuriken for practice. likes to collect figmas but always breaks them when he makes them. fake edgy. likes kimoon a lot.

brown trainer Soyi wuvs to bake. gets nervous when pretty ladies come to her bakery, cant help but give out free bread to all the beautiful girls. sort of a perfectionist, beats herself up a lot over silly things. never sleeps. wuvs her pokemon. dislikes battling but GOOD at it.

purple trainer Seigen a SPOOKY SNOWBOARDER. rarely is seen out at day, seeing him is like seeing bigfoot. not actually spooky but accepts this weird title people have given him. likes to camp out with his pokemon a lot. shy.

gray trainer Mija usually seen at the hotsprings. she likes to stay in the salt rooms and drink fresh sikhye while reading. retired, wife passed away but has three good good kids that visit her a lot. loves battling and eating tasty snacks that are bad for her.

white trainer Kimoon monk! but rlly new at it. trying to get rid of wordly desires but finds it very difficult to do. likes reading/watching kamen rider. friends with dowon.

pink trainer Ga-yoon RICH bitch. always on cruises, competes in pokemon contests and hits on other ladies a lot. always has a drink in her hand. very good at pokemon battles but prefers the contest life.

(pink was the last of the colors on the bulbapedia thing but i made more trainers.) trainer Woojin!! friends with shingo, same family issues. real serious around others. nice when talking one on one, wishes he could have been a chef.

trainer Won-chul likes going on late-night walks with his pokemon and early morning walks. never seen in the afternoon. sort of a mystery. likes watching kdramas and crying.

trainer Ye-jun widdle baby. likes to jump around in puddles. his favorite thing is soda. his pelipper tries to make sure he doesnt drink so much.

orange trainer Sanjun maid cafe! brother to Nari. loves chatting with people and all around nice guy. trying to save money for college, but wastes all of his money on nice dresses. surprisingly dislikes sweets.

trainer Nari butler cafe! sister to Sanjun wants to beat all the gyms. trying to get some extra bucks for college. likes helping her brother fuss over this fashion and looking up cool suits to wear. really good at saving money.

trainer Eunah, friends with Sanjun. sort of a gloomy girl. really quiet, gets dragged along to shop with Sanjun constantly. only works on rainy days.

trainer Mi-ran, nurse. clumsy af. tries her damn best and really wants to be a good nurse but is always fucking things up. oversleeps all the time and is always lost in thought. loves napping with her pokemon.

trainer Tae really loves cute pokemon. plays with them all the time when he's not playing football. hold all of his pokemon and carries them around everywhere. loves soft things, scared of bug pokemon.

trainer Hideo, friends with Tae and Choki . takes baseball real seriously. chews too much gum and never shuts up. tries to make everything connect to baseball somehow. everyone usually ignores him.

trainer Choki, friends with hideo and tae super talented, very busy. lives with his younger brother. stern and wishes his brother would take his studies seriously. always wants to train but his friends never want to. paints in his spare time.

trainer Itaru, younger brother to choki, wants to be a contest winner with his pokemon. wishes his brother wasn't so serious all the time. loves summertime and jogging with his pokemon. enjoys ditching school and planting berries/flowers in his garden.

trainer Hirotomo he's kimoon's dad and wishes his son would focus on becoming an enlightened monk. loves the winter time and meditating with his pokemon. smiles a lot but no one can tell cause of his beard

trainer Kyoko and Kuriko GAY!!! they love each other a lot.friends with all the sports buddies. big fans of Ryoko and Choki. they're really loud and full of energy but mean well and supports everyone.

trainer Banri, trans guy. very competitive especially against miu. good friends with seigen. loves all kinds of fruit. dislikes fast food. wants everyone to know how good of a color orange is.

trainer Miu, trans lady. not competitive, just trying her dang hardest. always seems to beat banri in some way. has a crush on ryoko. sister to eita. best skier around, really dislikes the cold. likes to watch scary movies.

trainer Eita soccer player! blunt, nice boy. loves hanging around hideo cause he makes fun of him all the time. brother to miu, loves bragging about his sister. loves going to amusement parks and is the best at winning prizes.

trainer Ryoko super talented, the coolest out of the sports buddies. rlly nice and hard working. gets a bit nervous due to the high expectations set on her. everyone thinks she's cool but she's secretly a big nerd. loves collecting gashapon toys.

trainer Junko loves fashion. likes to dress in historical clothes and dresses her pokemon up the same way. terrible at gardening but wishes she were good at it.

trainer Jubei, brother to junko. also loves fashion, but just always wants to look stylish. recently became a kendo teacher. a bit stubborn, kind of tsundere. is perpetually annoyed that his sister can beat him easily in martial arts.

#personal #this is just for meee #i like making these for fun #potential characters???#you never know #try it its fun!#im going to continue and put more here if i make more #THIS IS LONG BTW

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dcuglybooks · 3 years

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A short story collection featuring stories that are either mean and ugly like that turd that thudded you in school, or sweet and cuddly as a little gloomy kitten; or puppy if you’re more of a dog person.

Stories Christians don't have to read backwards. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08LGB4HGN/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_UIpaGb2VC4BBX

Here’s a free short.

WAP: WEIRD ASS PHANTOM

“There’s a ghost in this house. There’s a ghost in this house.”

Linda was getting tired of the shit. Every day at exactly noon her alarm would play this shitty overdubbed version of a Cardi B song. The original song wasn’t her cup of tea to begin with, this new version that sounded like drunk karaoke was even worse. Most times she would be sitting there and the sound of a drunk sorority girl would make her jump out of her skin. She couldn’t even find the song or alarm in her phone to do anything about it.

Linda and her girlfriend, Melissa, moved into this old house last month, the rent was so damn cheap; landlord said it was because it used to be a party house so he never charged much. The logic didn’t make any sense but at $300 a month and a mile outside of town, how were they not going to sign that lease?

“I think,” spoke Melissa one night while watching her phone float around taking pictures in the air, “the reason rent is so cheap is because it’s haunted.”

“You think?” Replies Linda while snatching the phone out of the air. “I just wish this damn ghost would stop posting pictures of our bedroom to our Instagram accounts. Did you see the caption last night?”

“Oh you mean ‘Pumpkin spice is almost here. Basic bitches, rejoice!’ The comma is what set me off. Why did she put a comma in that? Why bother? It wasn’t even used correctly I don’t believe.”

“We’re being haunted by a basic bitch.”

“I think that may be offensive.”

“I hear it all the time, it just...... yeah ok maybe. I guess I shouldn’t assume this ghost is a bad stereotype, I won’t say it again.”

“True, this girl may have more going for her than just these annoying social media posts from our accounts”

“Remember the mirror though?”

Last week as the couple were eating dinner they heard a clatter and crash from the upstairs bathroom. Running full speed ahead up the stairs and around the corner Linda saw all their makeup in a pile in the empty sink. She could see a pair of red lipsticked lips floating in the air while eyeliner was seemingly drawn onto the air in a cat eye shape. She sighed and said “What now?” These types of things had been going on since the first night so at this point it was old hat.

The lipstick went to the mirror and wrote “I am finally going to kill you.” Linda took a step back prepared to flee until the lipstick wrote below it “JK LOL YOUR FACE” and then the face floated off into the wall leaving behind the makeup like some sort of painting.

The first time anything strange had happened, a pizza showed up at the front door; delivery for an Amanda Perkins. The girl who moved out recently, they took the pizza because it was already paid for and assumed the girl had made a mistake. They were sure of this as they sat and watched old re-runs of home improvement and munched away; then they noticed the slice floating over in the air above the recliner and the chewed up pile on the seat. They screamed and ran outside, Melissa forgot her phone inside and Linda’s made a ding from inside her pocket.

“Hey I know this is really weird, it’s weird AF for me too. We can make it work though, ladies. I swear I won’t bother you, I already cleaned up my mess.”

They inched inside looking around like scared toddlers and sure enough the mess was cleaned up. After that they just rolled with the weirdness.

“Are you sure Amanda left, Mr. Morris?” Linda was on the phone with the landlord.

“Yes. Positive. Why would you think she still lived there?”

“There’s been..... some things.”

“Drunk college girl, she probably stumbled home one night and forgot she went home for the summer. Its no deal. Not big or small.”

“Are you absolutely positive there is no deal? Big, small, medium, or slightly larger than medium but not quite large?”

“What do you think? I know her ex and he killed her and then buried her body in the basement so now her ghost is haunting you. This is why I charge so cheap rent! No. I don’t believe what you think. I will be going.”

He hung up without ever realizing Linda never once mentioned any of that other stuff. Linda thought, Why does he talk like that?

Turned out that’s exactly what had happened. After doing a quick google of the ghosts name they found out she never came home. After a quick Facebook search they found her ex boyfriends page. After some scrolling they found a post that said “Amanda and I broke up again and I am going to kill her.” The post had six likes and four comments.

“Get her bro!”

“Bitch ain’t appreciate you anyhow bet!”

“U need any ting lemme no”

“Fuk gr8 ass tho. Mind if I hit her up?”

These people were insane. Did not a single one of these people see the part about wanting to kill her? Actually PLANNING to kill her.

The police found it interesting enough to look into it, they found reason to arrest the guy. After a long court trial Amanda’s ex-boyfriend, Brent, was sentenced to life in prison for murder. The body was exhumed and buried at a family plot. The rent got more expensive because Mr. Morris was in prison for helping cover a murder so his aunt took over.

You win some you lose some.

Amanda did not leave though. The ghost hung out still to this day four months later. The social media posts kept going. The pizzas kept getting ordered, only now from their pockets because Amanda’s parents closed her bank account. Amanda was irritated about that, she was cut off from her parents money and stuck living with two other people.

Linda and Melissa tried to make her feel as comfy as possible, they left a pen and notebook in each room so she could communicate with them. Usually the notes were always about how bored she was being a ghost and how if she tried to leave the house it got all bright and she started floating. Amanda was “for real afraid of flying” as she wrote on a notebook.

Amanda’s behavior got strange at some point. She began doing things like drawing stick figures on the bathroom floor in shampoo, she would wrap herself in toilet paper and roll down the stairs creating the illusion of her body disappearing, the worst of it was when she would lay in bed with Linda and Melissa startling them when she pulled the blanket. It was like living with an invisible insane person. Either her mind was slipping or she was just a strange character. She would turn the TV on and watch the same episode of “King of Queens” for ten hours straight while they were at work. They wondered what would happen if they deleted it from the DVR but didn’t want to face that at all.

The alarm kept going off too; Linda had to hand out awkward smiles and apologies when it happened at work or in public. One time she had to apologize to a middle aged woman when it went off in the cereal aisle while shopping and her son started singing the lyrics to the original version as loud as his voice would allow. The mother gasped at all the words her kid knew and knocked a shelf of maple syrup over. The bottles burst all over the floor, Linda tried to help clean it up but she was shooed away by a guy with a mop bucket and a face that said he wanted her dead as shit.

They asked her multiple times what they could do to get her to move along, to which she would always write “sno-cone” on her notebook with no explanation.

Linda woke up sick on a Tuesday and didn’t go to work, she came into the bathroom and seen a note written in lipstick on the mirror that read “Baby, all my life I will be driving home to you.” She blushed, Melissa had left her a really sweet note on the mirror. When Melissa got home she surprised her with a bout of some of the best sex they had ever had, despite Linda being sick she felt overcome with love for her partner.

“Wow. What did I do to deserve that?” Asked Melissa after.

“The note.”

“Oh yes. The note, got you good with that one. So, if it was so good mind telling me what it said?”

“You know what it said!”

“Of course I do.”

She didn’t know what it said. She had no clue, but she wasn’t going to raise a stink about what just happened. No way, no how. She got up and went to use the restroom, as she sat on the toilet she looked up and saw the words on the mirror.

“LINDA!” She yelled. “I DIDNT LEAVE THAT! THATS THE GODDAMN LYRICS FROM THE THEME SONG FOR ‘THE KING OF QUEENS!’”

Linda didn’t know what to say; she shook her head and internally accepted defeat on this one. The couple didn’t talk about it again, the ends justified the means on this one they silently agreed; thanks Amanda.

The trio had carried on life like this for months, seven to be exact, when they heard a bang and a crash from the front door. Assuming this was yet again Amanda doing some goofy nonsense they ran downstairs to clean up the mess only to find a man standing their pointing a shotgun at them.

“You’re the dykes who got me locked up, aintcha?” Said a freshly broke out of prison Brent. “You know, usually I’m cool with like loving whoever and like rights and like equality and shit but tonight is not your night. Go sit.”

They were tied together on the couch while Brent sat channel flipping on the TV.

“Amanda is still here,” spoke Linda “she’s a ghost, at some point she’s going to help us and you’ll probably get hurt. She’s probably posting pictures on Instagram right now so she’s a little busy, but I promise when she finds out she’ll come running.”

“No she won’t.”

“Ok? So you think her post is going to get a ton of likes then?”

“She’s afraid of me.”

“Ugh are you generic ‘I beat my girlfriend’ guy number seventy or not?”

“Not.”

“Then why is she afraid of you?”

“I’m bigger than her…… I guess?”

“She’s a ghost.”

“I’m still bigger.”

“How can you be bigger than an incorporeal being with no mass or weight?”

“See, she doesn’t way anything.”

“You didn’t think any of this through did you?”

“Not one bit.”

“It shows. Why did you kill her?”

“Hey I’ve never been what you’d call a planner. I killed her because she broke up with me for the fiftieth time that year and all my friends were giving me a hard time about how I would just crawl back to her. I said ‘can’t crawl back to her if I kill her!’ They all thought it was funny so I did it.”

“Ah………Makes perfect sense to me.”

“A guy has to watch his reputation, right?”

They sat there watching late night infomercials in silence for another half hour. Linda nudged Melissa as she seen a phone floating around taking pictures of a floating can of soup.

Of all the ghosts in the world, why was theirs like this?

“Brent, there’s some stuff on the DVR” Linda told him.

“Good I hate infomercials. Oh yuck, ‘The King of Queens.’ I hate that show, Amanda loved it. That fat fucking heifer guy gets to make it with that babe every night. Fucking loser ass UPS guy”

They could see the phone slowly lower and start hovering towards Brent. They let him rant.

“And that Deacon guy, what a fucking idiot, he leaves his wife at one point which is silly because she’s so fucking hot.”

The can of soup hovered behind him.

“That guy that dates the ugly chick from the bowling alley, now I can’t tolerate him at all.”

The soup can shook with rage.

“He ends up living with the other guy right? Like what the fuck? Are they like a thing or not a thing? I didn’t pay enough attention. I did pretend to though to get some action every now and again, show fucking sucks though. Here I’ll do you guys a favor.”

As he deleted the episode from the DVR the can came slamming down into his head.

Again.

They heard a voice yell “MY BONES ARE GETTING WEARY! MY BACK IS GETTING TIGHT!” As the can of cream of chicken turned Brent’s head into cream of Brent’s brains.

After the violence stopped the notebook hovered in front of them and said “Sorry, I was on TikTok, I’ll clean this up tho.”

Much like the first night that’s exactly what happened. They were untied and they watched as the mess was cleaned up. Brent’s body floated over to the ground and the can of soup was laid on the table. The phone floated over to Melissa who dialed 911.

After the legal mess was cleaned up they decided that having Amanda around maybe was not such a bad idea. No one could really kill them, it was like having a built in security system. They did eventually add a third line to their cell plan and let her set up social media for herself as a reclusive twenty something who couldn’t leave the house due to a skin condition.

Her pages were ok, they didn’t get much interaction or followers but Amanda was happy. Sometimes people would say they wanted to hang out with her because they lived close, Amanda just said her skin condition was contagious AF. No one ever thought to say “Hey, what exactly IS your medical condition?” People could be so polite sometimes.

Christmas morning as they all opened gifts Linda and Melissa cried as Amanda opened the complete series collection of “The King of Queens.” The three sat on the couch together that evening and watched all of season one.

Baby all my life I will be driving home to you.

The next day they heard a familiar song. Together they both smiled and thought that yes, there was a ghost in this house.

#horror comedy #horror novels #free short story #horror books

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ilistenedin · 6 years

Note

Evens

I did em all oops200: My crush’s name is: Sarah 199: I was born in: Miami 198: I am really: boring 197: My cellphone company is: T mobile 196: My eye color is: brown 195: My shoe size is: 9.5-10 in women 194: My ring size is: no idea. Very big tho 193: My height is: 5’7 192: I am allergic to: nothing that I know of 191: My 1st car was: Nissan Versa 190: My 1st job was: AAA Parking, I was a valet cashier 189: Last book you read: I reread IT recently 188: My bed is: uncomfortable as fuck 187: My pet: (s)(children) are fat cats 186: My best friend: is the bomb 185: My favorite shampoo is: tresemme’ (Oo lala) 184: Xbox or ps3: Xbox  183: Piggy banks are: cute 182: In my pockets: Nada 181: On my calendar: I don’t have one 180: Marriage is: a thing people do sometimes 179: Spongebob can: flip a mean burger 178: My mom: is great 177: The last three songs I bought were? No idea, Spotify life 176: Last YouTube video watched: Man of Arms: Attack on Titan blades 175: How many cousins do you have? 4 174: Do you have any siblings? 4 173: Are your parents divorced? Never married 172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes 171: Do you play an instrument? Yes 170: What did you do yesterday? Work[ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: nope 168: Luck: yes 167: Fate: kinda 166: Yourself: nope 165: Aliens: yes 164: Heaven: nope 163: Hell: kinda 162: God: nope 161: Horoscopes: kinda 160: Soul mates: nope 159: Ghosts: yes 158: Gay Marriage: yes 157: War: nope 156: Orbs: I don’t know 155: Magic: yes[ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs 153: Drunk or High: drunk 152: Phone or Online: online 151: Red heads or Black haired: red  150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes 149: Hot or cold: cold 148: Summer or winter: winter 147: Autumn or Spring: autumn 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 145: Night or Day: night 144: Oranges or Apples: oranges 143: Curly or Straight hair: curly 142: McDonalds or Burger King: Mcdonalds 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: neither 140: Mac or PC: no preference 139: Flip flops or high heals: neither 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: ugly and rich. These being poor shit is old 137: Coke or Pepsi: coke 136: Hillary or Obama: obama 135: Burried or cremated: cremated 134: Singing or Dancing: singing 133: Coach or Chanel: neither 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: I don’t know who those people are 131: Small town or Big city: big city 130: Wal-Mart or Target: Walmart 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben 128: Manicure or Pedicure: neither 127: East Coast or West Coast: I’m so divided these days.  126: Your Birthday or Christmas: neither 125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers 124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney 123: Yankees or Red Sox: Red Sox [ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War: I’m hippie scum 121: George Bush: dumbass 120: Gay Marriage: Love is Love 119: The presidential election: stressful 118: Abortion: do what you want with your body 117: MySpace: old af 116: Reality TV: sometimes entertaining 115: Parents: thanks for giving me life I guess 114: Back stabbers: people will be people 113: Ebay: shady 112: Facebook: uninteresting 111: Work: miserable 110: My Neighbors: annoying af 109: Gas Prices: too damn high 108: Designer Clothes: unnecessary  107: College: missed oppurtunity 106: Sports: footballs cool 105: My family: the bomb 104: The future: terrifying[ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: like an hour ago 102: Last time you ate: like 3 hours ago 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: uhhhh last weekend 100: Cried in front of someone: this past weekend 99: Went to a movie theater: two weeks ago 98: Took a vacation: last weekend 97: Swam in a pool: oof can’t recall 96: Changed a diaper: never  95: Got my nails done: never 94: Went to a wedding: last year March? 93: Broke a bone: ages and ages ago 92: Got a peircing: last year summer? 91: Broke the law: omw home like an hour ago 90: Texted: 2 min ago[ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: sarah 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: i left home already lol I miss not paying rent 87: The last movie I saw: HP Goblet of Fire 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: sleeping 85: The thing im not looking forward to: waking up 84: People call me: often 83: The most difficult thing to do is: be happy  82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never 81: My zodiac sign is: cancer 80: The first person i talked to today was: the lady at Mcdonalds  79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten? 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: no one 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: sarah all the time 76: Right now I am talking to: sarah 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: fuck if I know 74: I have/will get a job: I have one currently 73: Tomorrow: I work 72: Today: I worked 71: Next Summer: I will work 70: Next Weekend: I will sleep 69: I have these pets: 3 cats 68: The worst sound in the world: open mouth chewing 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: my damn self 66: People that make you happy: sarah 65: Last time I cried: last weekend 64: My friends are: chill 63: My computer is: non existent 62: My School: is life. I don’t go to school 61: My Car: needs an oil change 60: I lose all respect for people who: are racist, homophobic, xenophobic, sexist, or just an asshole in general 59: The movie I cried at was: many. Last one was coco 58: Your hair color is: black 57: TV shows you watch: so many. Most recently Rebels, Black Mirror, Stranger Things, and mind hunter 56: Favorite web site: tumblr 55: Your dream vacation: somewhere cold 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: broken ankle 53: How do you like your steak cooked: rare 52: My room is: not a room 51: My favorite celebrity is: Ellen page is up there. 50: Where would you like to be: in bed with Sarah  49: Do you want children: no 48: Ever been in love: yes 47: Who’s your best friend: Bianca 46: More guy friends or girl friends: currently girl 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: sleeping 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: sarah 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no 41: Have you pre-named your children: kinda 40: Last person I got mad at: a caller 39: I would like to move to: Orlando, Boston, LA 38: I wish I was a professional: SLEEPER[ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: crunch 36: Vehicle: Honda Civic 35: President: Obama 34: State visited: California 33: Cellphone provider: T-Mobile 32: Athlete: don’t have one 31: Actor: Leo DiCaprio 30: Actress: Evan Rachel Wood 29: Singer: Gerard Way 28: Band: MCR 27: Clothing store: old navy 26: Grocery store: publix 25: TV show: can’t decide 24: Movie: can’t decide 23: Website: tumblr 22: Animal: lion 21: Theme park: Disney world (can’t choose which park) 20: Holiday: Halloween  19: Sport to watch: football 18: Sport to play: football 17: Magazine: Rolling Stone 16: Book: IT and Paint it black 15: Day of the week: saturday 14: Beach: el farito  13: Concert attended: Pvris in Orlando 12: Thing to cook: Steak 11: Food: sushi 10: Restaurant: Flanagan’s 9: Radio station: 104.3 the shark 8: Yankee candle scent: I don’t have one 7: Perfume: very sexy 6: Flower: Peonies  5: Color: red 4: Talk show host: Ellen 3: Comedian: don’t have one 2: Dog breed: dachshund  1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yeap

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suzannaandjameshardy · 7 years

Text

A Party Hardy Wedding

Inching closer to the one year mark so I thought I'd grace my Tumblr's presence with snapshots of our big day.

11/19/16. Who knew that would now be my favorite day of the year. Most days you wake up knowing exactly how each second will more or less pan out. I'm that odd mixture of an organized person with unsystematic attributes. Everything is on my calendar, but sometimes it gets lost in translation.This day, 11/19/16, was most definitely planned. To the T. Not a single detail or minute was overlooked. But somehow... it was like the agenda was thrown out the window. We were so engulfed in this overwhelming amount of love that it felt like we were going to explode into a million pieces across the dance floor. What itinerary? We just floated from one room to the next. It sounds cheesy because it was. It was us. I had this reoccurring scene in my head... that I'd fall down the aisle or my dad would show up late. The ceremony turned out to be our favorite moment of the wedding. We just could not. stop. smiling. Our officiant calls my name. I don't think I looked at him once. "Repeat after me, with this ring I thee wed. Take it and wear it as a pledge of my love and as a symbol of all we shall share." At this point I'm staring into James's soul and the outside world is merely a blurred image and the only sounds are a collective blurb of white noise. My face is in this permanent ridiculous smile and somehow words began to form,"With this ring I thee wed... wait what was it?" Everyone laughs. I manage to finish my vows and we kiss a cold November kiss. (snaps of me butchering the vows below)

It was a chilly Saturday. Believe it or not, November in Texas can be unusually hot. 11/19/16 however, was not one of those normal humid Saturdays. So much so that we rented tall heat lamps for guests. It was nice and cozy and our hors d'oeuvres kept us warm. I wanted our menu to reflect my background. Specifically the large majority of guests ~aka~ mi familia who happen to be Mexican American with an obsession for good food. We started the night with poblano and mushroom empanaditas with avocado aioli, chicken bites wrapped in bacon and stuffed with a jalapeno, oyster nacho on a yucca chip with guacamole chipotle aioli and micro pico de gallo. That’s a mouthful, huh? Signature cocktail, pomegranate margarita.

Family and friends start making there way to the the chapel inside the Southwest School of Arts. I danced a slow rendition of Sweet Child of Mine with my father. He was a mess. Just looked like he was about to cry any second. He's a proud Mexican father. He's known around town as the guy to not screw around with. So watching him a bit vulnerable was well... pretty awesome. He can be so hard to handle sometimes. We are alike in many ways. One of which our taste in music, hence our oh-so-classy father-daughter dance.

James and I danced Emmylou by First Aid Kit. We knew the first time we heard the song as it randomly popped up that that was the song. We created our own playlist for the wedding and well... it was bomb AF. Hehe. No really, we are proud of our playlist. An interesting mix of Los Growlers, Father John Misty to Band of Horses, to Tupac and 90's rap, then back to Rilo Kiley and then some Elton John. And of course a good portion of Tejano and Selena to get the party going. It was so random, but probably the best playlist I've ever heard in my life because it reminded us of all our adventures. (a pretty giddy first dance below)

We had a seated dinner that consisted of wild field greens with roasted red and yellow bell peppers, corn, black beans, queso fresco, purple onion, salted pepitos, crispy red tortilla strips and cilantro lime vinaigrette. Instead of bread, we opted for a traditional warm masa cake with a chili lime butter rosette. The main entree was a ridiculously yummy beef tenderloin filet with cherry guava sauce, a trio of jumbo shrimp sauteed and topped with tequila (duh) lime cream sauce, in a shell with a lime, white cheddar, cilantro and green chile mashed potatoes, and seasonal grilled vegetables. Dessert.. dessert... Oh how I miss our dessert table. Traditional Mexican lady fingers and pan de polvo baked by a family friend in my hometown. We are pretty picky about our pan de polvo and hers are the best. Our wedding cake was made by Bird Bakery, owned by Armie Hammers wife, Elizabeth Chambers. She is native to San Antonio and opened this adorable bakery in Alamo Heights. Our cake was a smooth vanilla buttercream, no crazy decor or flavors. It was so rich and moist. Bird also baked Mexican brownies for guests with hints of cinnamon and spices. Last but not least...apple pies in mason jars (also by Bird). James was adamant that he did not want a grooms cake. He's been obsessed with apple pies since the day we met. The mix between traditional Mexican goodies and apple pies in mason jars was unintentionally symbolic of our merging of cultures & it gave us all the feels.

We ended the night with all of our friends lined parallel with each other holding hand painted maracas from Mexico (also a wedding gift). We ran through the crowd and jumped into our getaway car and took one big deep breath. We just laughed. Still in awe of what just happened. After a few drinks with some of our close friends, we called it a night. The next morning we hopped on a plane to Olympic National Park where we stayed in a cozy little cabin next to lake surrounded by mountains. BUT that's for another post. ;)

What people don't realize is that we have a lot of days like this. We are annoying, I’ll admit it. I used to hate those ridiculous couples that were so in love. I used to think, "what are they trying to prove" & "no one cares, please don’t send me a Christmas card." But here we are, obsessed. A good obsessed. When we first started dating, I'd argue it was more of a jealous obsessed, but man does time help evolve you. I'd like to think one of the best gifts in this world is allowing, watching, and seeing each other grow & I’m blessed that we do that for one another. We are not perfect, but we are one hell of a team.

Okay, less typing, more pictures.

@brides @theknot @liancarlodesign

#Texas #Wedding #san antonio #san antonio wedding #lian carlo

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phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess · 7 years

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💀you survive in mother freaking Australia. I live in awe and fear of you and wish I could send you like a cooler of ice

I love you and would protect you, if you came over here.

On a related note...

...remember how we had the 7ft carpet snake in the car in like Dec/Jan this year... and then the brown snake under the house in the same week (left of own accord, polite little guy)...

...did i ever tell you guys about how we ended up with a 9ft greensnake in the kitchen cupboard in January? That was hilarious. Cats were circling, circling, meowing... we investigate, and the poor little bugger’s all wrapped up in the cupboard; clearly snuck in for relief from the heat.

The snakecatcher we use is a little expensive, but available 24hrs, and is trained for rehabilitation, treatments and release... came out at like 8pm to get the little guy, which was nice. No one really anticipated how long the snek was going to be, tho... the second catcher just found the head and started lifting him out bare-handed... and then suddenly, more snek... and MORE snek... and MORE SNEK kept coming

it was legit hilarious, like a magician’s scarf trick i tell you what

Snek was safely taken away and released tho

The thing is, if they’re in the house, the car, or somewhere you know that they are a problem... then you get a catcher. If they’re a poisonous variety, also a snake catcher.

We only kill them if it’s an absolute us or them sort of dealio, and it has been a few times. When a brown snake shoots up out of the hole you’re digging and goes for the legs... take ‘em out. Otherwise, let them exist, they were here first, this is their home too. Like with the roos, wallabies, the four million quail that give you a heart attack everytime you step into ass-deep grass...etc.

If they’re not a problem, or just chilling in the paddock away from everyone, let them go. Keep animals and children away, and pay attention until they’re gone/make sure you know WHERE.

Also have you ever heard a horny male koala, this one bloke (bc we’re in a koala corridor) randomly arrives every few seasons and makes this loud grunting sound (’heeeeey, hey baby, i wanna knooooow, knoooow, if you’ll be my girl?’) that echoes... and he’s a big dude. Like, if it was that dude vs a 7yr old, i’m not sure who would win... very dropbearlike.

Goannas are annoying tho.

They’re BIG. Like, they are a problem... like stubborn little scaly satan lizards. Mostly it’s chill, but if they’re ina fight mood, gotdamn you’d better be realy to throw down. I fought one with a shovel once... he lived, didn’t hurt him too much, just told him a universal ‘fuck off’ and he left sulkily.

Kookaburras eat snakes and also other baby birds, they laugh bc hey delight in murder

Galahs are dumb af, also feathery assholes (like parrots)

Rainbow Lorrikeets are adorable and to be protected

Kangaroos and Wallabies are chil if you are chill. They can also eviscerate you with their legs, cave in your ribs, or slash you pretty bad, don’t fuck with them.We used to have (and it’s concerning we haven’t seen them since Xmas) these 7ft fucking huge ripped dudes always appearing on the property. It was like a gotdamn cryptid, massive roos, no reason. They are safe with us, we don’t shoot at them, and hav water for them and all, etc. They come, eat the grass, do that flexing posturing shit if you enter the same paddock... if you have to exist in the same space, always keep something between you, but be aware they can jump high and fast at you. They cannot walk backwards, btw, so there’s that.

Never assume water makes you safe. Kangaroos and Wallabies have learned how to trick a predator into water (including humans), and drown them (force the head underwater). Which is amazing and horrifying that they learned that.

There’s a few fucky spiders that look tiny and innocent... but will murder you.

Red-back and Funnel webs are a problem, not so much here tho. We did have an infestation a few years back for some reason, had to get the place professionally red-back proofed. Even a can of spray and the sturdiest thong could not halt the onsaught.

on the other hand, a *technically* harmless spider that looks like satan’s worst nightmare is the Huntsman Spider... they can be aggressive af and as big as a dinner plate... every single angry one I have come across has gone for my face, which i one hell of a way to test your reflexes. They jump far and fast.But, they tend to keep worse spiders under control (daddy long legs do it too), and eat them. I let them live unless they’re in my space and refuse to fuck off... bc no one can live with a fist-sized fuzzy hellbeast hanging off the ceiling above them ad twitching every few minutes... th Thong forbids it.

Emus are actually sort of wankers, really, but can fight.

It’s cassowaries you need to fear (6ft murder birbs that look like god just went with whatever paint was left in the ‘make your own animals’ kit)... they have killed people, but to be fair, most of them provoked the birds in the attacks...

Magpies, chill if you are chill.We used to feed some and the butcher birds in the area, never got swooped. But people in the town/city regions antagonise, throw stones, etc. and the birds are like, ‘you know what these humans need? immediate death from above’ bc they hav babies that need to be safe. So peeps end up using sticks and umbrellas and ice cream containers for protective helmets as they run under magpie trees in bby season.[Magpie will attack the highest point of a predator, so they will swoop an upraised stick, or your bike helmet and call it success]

Plovers were made in hell, and can go back there anytime. They have little barbs on each wing for slashing, love to swoop too.

Tasmanian devils are a thing, not like the looney tunes version tho. Aggressive, but also prone to diseases such as cancer.

Dingoes are not inherently bad. They are just living, people invaded their spaces and now it’s their fault apparently. Tourists antagonise them, and get bitten. Well, dogs bite when you provoke them too...? Leave dingoes alone 2k17 you drongos.

Australia has fascinating weather patterns too.

For example, random droughts where the fire warning meter goes from Low through to Catastrophic as the grass dies and the sun marinates us all.

Summer had 50 degree (C) temps again, some places were over. [the next person to tell us climate change isn’t real is going to become a new pair of shoes, bc SERIOUSLY?]

And also the flooding, my state is great at floods, usually 1-2 times a year... in 2011 we had like 3 floods in a row which was hilarious

Also the fact 75% of the state was flooded and they had to bring out ‘if it’s flooded, forget it’ to warn wankers NOT to drive INTO the water in the mistaken belief of ‘she’ll be right i can make it’ then needing the SES to save them...

we’re hoping it doesn’t flood right now, but there’s ankle deep water all over our paddock rn/nearly ocouldn’ get the car out bc of the thick mud, and we’re on a hill, so...

other dangerous animals: politiciansmy not be human, some are definitely a bunch of oceansincludes: crazy racist fish shop lady, super-rich what-is-a-woman-exactly? PM, speedos and onions wanker, and a whole cabinet of others.

Did i mention quails? those little fuckers are the master of jumpscares, five nights at ‘just trying to put the garbage out, why are you like this’ Quail Freddy’s...

Bilbys aren’t dangerous, tho, they’re just cute.Please remember to buy chocolate Easter Bilbys, as the companies that produce them Haigh’s Chocolates and Darrell Lea’s, both donate to/sponsor bilby conservation efforts.

Oh, and the Paltypus is adorable, but males have a poisonous barb o their backfoot.

Also, you can handle an echidna in an emergency, but carefully. A carer brought one to our school once, and i got to pet the little guy, very cute 10/10, leave them alone in the wild, tho.

I forgot where i was going with this, and probs a bunch of animals, but thanks for the cute ask.

#Anonymous

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rinnnyxr · 4 years

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Pet Peeves commercials slow internet talking during a movie people that eat of off your plate line cutters pop out YouTube ads people who talk over you wobbly tables auto-correct scratching on a chalk board movie spoilers copycats no wifi jealous friends left on seen being ignored fake friends chewing people who sing out loud people spitting while they talk slow walkers hearing people pop their knuckles people that smoke

Quarantine | bold everything that you have done while being bored baked a new recipe tried your hand at art had a group face time call slept past 3 pm gardened went on a run finished a show in a week cleaned your room almost broke out of social isolation scrolled through your camera roll ran out of snacks started doing a new workout routine wore nothing but pj’s called the same person 3 times in a day spent too much money online shopping learned tiktok dances got paranoid about a cough or sneeze had a screen time above 8 hours slept into the afternoon wrote a song or poem cut your hair

In 2020 so far got into a relationship won an award got a new phone made a new friend got out of a toxic relationship removed toxic friends turned a year older passed drivers test gave birth welcomed a new family member moved houses moved to a different place traveled to another country made happy memories got into a sports team

I’m an Aries I like popular things I often like stuff that people never heard of I’m lowkey a perfectionist I try to make others happy even when I’m hurting I’m a Taurus I prefer quiet and chill places I have ambition I know a lot of good music and tv shows I’m a Gemini I joke a lot as a coping mechanism I know everything about everyone but I always stay quiet I have a million ideas and things I want to do I’m a Cancer I have a lot of fictional ships I try to see everyone’s point of view I have logical intelligence I have emotional intelligence I’m a Leo People told me before that I give interesting replies when texting I’m hard to get to know I try my best I’m a Virgo I pretend I don’t care but I always care a lot I’m indecisive I’m determined I notice a LOT of things about a person just at first glance I’m a Libra I act clueless but I’m actually extremely smart I thrive on validation from the people I love I’m able to make anything pretty or fun I’m a Scorpio I contemplate the meaning of life often I’m super sensitive to my surrounding I relate to villains in media often I’m a Sagittarius I prefer creative over logical subjects I can talk about almost anything I put up with a lot but once I’m angered I go off hard I’m a Capricorn I use my passions to express my feelings I’m self-conscious I’m also self-assured at the same time I crave comfort and security I’m an Aquarius I’m skeptical I have weird beliefs I always check up on my friends I value intelligence and personality over appearance I’m a Pisces I spend too much time online I have super weird dreams I can sense fakeness and I strongly dislike it

I’m smart I always know the latest news I always talk to my friends I’m tech-savvy I’m a perfectionist I love memes I stay up all night I want everyone to just chill I’m humorous I’m moody af I’m always bored I’m not bothered by the quarantine I re-watch series out of boredom I’m full of energy I’m annoying I love sugar I spam about my quarantine on social media I have a tiktok account I enjoy rainy weather I never work out I procrastinate a lot I’m really antisocial My hands are soft I want love and attention I’m chilling right now I’m innocent I don’t like watching the news I know someone named Sarah I know someone named Grace I know someone named Cody I know someone named Claire I know someone named Chloe I know someone named Joseph I know someone named Caden I know someone named Isaac I know someone named Bryan I know someone named Faith I know someone named Shannon I know someone named Anne I know someone named Ethan I know someone named Ashley I know someone named John I know someone named Russel I know someone named Megan I know someone named James

I have pet turtles. I want a puppy. I’m listening to music. I think Justin Timberlake is weird… I wish I had ice-cream. I would like to see Madonna live. I use to be a Myspace whore. I hate Facebook. I live in an apartment. I’m letting my hair grow. I think everyone should have long hair. ^ even guys. I don’t have hardwood floors in my house. The fire alarm went off this week. I’m wearing sweatpants. I’m wearing a ring. I don’t own an iPod. I have an iPhone. ^ It’s pink! Nicki Minaj use to be better than she is now. I love Ariana Grande. I have a Twitter. I have a website. I’ve been called a hippie. My mom is my best friend. My dad and I are getting closer…. My parents are getting separated. I never been on a plane. I live with someone. ^ my boyfriend. I’ve been in a relationship for longer than a year. Going on 6 years to be exact. My parents keep asking me when I’ll get married. I don’t think I’ll have kids, ever. I’m a college student. I got a new job this year. I had pasta today. I had pizza today. I didn’t eat breakfast. Flo from the Progressive commercials doesn’t annoy me. I hate that commercial with the sad puppies on it… ^ I’ve been emotional and cried while it’s on…. I have 1 sister. I’ve had blonde hair. I’ve had highlighted hair. I’ve had red hair. I’ve had teal hair. I’m trying to get my natural hair color back.. My natural hair color is brown…. Eyebrows are VERY important. I haven’t got my haircut in like a year…. I have trust issues. Bolding surveys relax me. I own a survey taking blog. I want Chinese food. I wish I was Asian. I’m white.. I have brown eyes. I’m pale. ^ I like being pale. I have a blanket on. I currently getting over a cold. I can’t stand rude people. I live in a big city. I grew up in a small town. I like Amanda Bynes before & after she went crazy. I also love Lindsay Lohan. I love Lindsay Lohan - Rumors. I’m allergic to cats. I wanna go to zoo! I watched The Hunger Games movie this week. I don’t apologize unless I feel I need too. I hold grudges. I’m not very optimistic. “I made it through the wilderness…” ^ I know what song this is from. I wish I could live a day in opposite sex. Freaky Friday was a great movie. Titanic is one of my favorite movies. I always wanted my own heart of the ocean necklace. I have a Pandora bracelet. ^ I never wear it……. My favorite color is yellow. I hate red roses. I love avocados. Salads are great! People tell me I should be a model. ^ I think they are crazy. I use to have big dreams… ^ until reality kicked in. I don’t own anything Chanel. The Illuminati is real. ^ & they are watching us. Pickles are great! I hate pancakes. I hate half my family. I have bitches for aunts. I like to meditate. I sometimes feel like the Matrix is real… I still don’t understand how the world was created… I’m not very religious. ^ but I believe in Heaven. I wish I was an x-men. This survey is soo random. My favorite number is 3. I was born in March. I’ve never taken Molly. Mileys Cyrus is cool. I think Britney Spears seems sweet. Beyonce seems like a bitch… ^ so does Katy Perry. …..ugh Lady Gaga….. It’s raining right now. It’s night time right now. I don’t have to work tomorrow. I have no plans for tomorrow. I need to do laundry. I’m in-love. I don’t have any tattoos. I’ve never been to the gym. I smile at strangers. I have a lot of empty water bottles in my room.. I’ve probably going to take another survey. I’m wearing socks. My nails aren’t painted. It’s hot in my house right now. I love the band The Pretty Reckless. ^ I’ve met them! I kinda wanna cut my hair short. ^ but I know I will hate it a week later. I never been to a rave. I could be on Bad Girls Club. ^ because, I have a temper. I wannabe skinnier. I’m happy over all.

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panda-town98 · 7 years

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Nineteen things I would like to tell my Seventeen-year-old self.

Numero Uno: Don’t study your Literature at the bloody eleventh hour. Don’t ever pull that decision of dropping Eng. Lit. No matter how people say it’s risky af to be a “calon persendirian”. Please make sure that you go to church and thank the Heavens that it’s a huge miracle you still haven’t got High Blood Pressure. Even if your results gave you an A- at the end of the day.

Deux: You can’t avoid, but, you CAN prevent the topic of, “WHAT ARE YOU GONNA MAJOR IN AFTER HIGH SCHOOL?” Try as best as you can to stealthily sneak away from this. Teehee.

Trois: Accept the fact that you’ll never take violin classes. Anymore. Don’t bother planning. You may proceed and cry.

Quatre: Don’t drink excessively. Christ. #smh

Cinq: Don’t try to think you can get through your daily life without Christ. He’s your homie at the end of the day. So never abandon your faith. Even if you’re an asshole or you seem like there is no point in life. Anyone who knows me truly will know what I’m like with my faith.

Six: Don’t bother looking for a part-time job after high school. Just be your laziest, craziest, self. Paint the town so fucking red with your friends, that you feel you’ve started some sort of rebellion just like in Star Wars. Make adults abhor your irresponsibility. You and a number of your friends deserve it.

Sept: Anything after the month of May in 2016 S U C K S S H I T. Don’t bother getting too excited about it.

Huit: STAND FIRM AND DON’T SWAY INTO OTHERS’ OPINION. They WILL tell you do proceed to Matriculations, Foundation, or taking a Diploma. STAND FIRM. STAY FORM 6. Be strong on this one.

Neuf: You are going to hear a lot of, “So, you want to be an English teacher?” so just prepare your ears. It’s annoying. It’s agitating. It’s bloodcurdling. I know. You feel like there should be more exposure as to what you can actually do with a frickin’ English degree. (Shout out to all English Majors out there.)

Dix: Oh, and I forgot to mention. You’re also gonna get some sneers and that “LOOK” from people when you say you want to major in English. Don’t be mean. Just keep your stoic face and walk away. Make lots of tea to help you on this one.

Eleven: Smoke like a lady.

Twelve: Love yourself. It’s okay to not be thin. Don’t ever change the way you look for the sake of a guy.

Thirteen: Just write whatever you have in your head. Beat that writer’s block.

Fourteen: Time to visit your Tumblr. It’s been years.

Fifteen: I’m really proud that you grew into your mentality that you don’t need a boyfriend to be in love or to fit in society. Who cares if you didn’t have a boyfriend in your teens. We’re all a joke. And yes, I’m also proud that you hate sappy relationships and yearn to have something professional at 17. *clap clap

Sixteen: Take learning your languages seriously. Learn your French, Korean, German, Danish, and Irish and all those languages you wanna learn. It’s really helpful. Trust me, your 18 year old self with thank you a lot.

Seventeen: Despite people saying that you should wait for your Form 6 teachers to tell you what reference book brands to buy, it’s best if you could buy yourself some of your own earlier. Expose yourself a bit to what you’re going learn in Form 6. You’re gonna hate Form 6(Except literature class. You will love literature class most ardently so immensely)

Eighteen: You’re gonna suck it up right now because you’re gonna have to choose between Geography and Literature when you’re eighteen. You’re gonna man up as much as you can and screw gender terms, because you are gonna drop Geography for Eng. Lit. class. It’s hard, I know. I miss learning Geography too. But you can always learn them by yourself and not need academic proof to tell you how good you’re at it. The bad news is, you’re gonna have to endure Business Studies class. Something you don’t really like. Your dad may be a business major himself, but you suck at it; which is ironic because your dad was weak in Geography when he was at your age and excelled in his accounts. You don’t have a choice. Accepting this is worse than Persephone having to reluctantly give herself to Hades to be his wife.

Nineteen: Be happy. Be so fucking happy that you feel like you can help God murder Satan with your psychotic happiness and end the war between Heaven and Hell. Your ancestors will be so proud. Talk less, Ask less, Listen more, Learn more, Thank more, and Give most. Love sincerely.

#kisahseorangpelajarsesipagi

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