MY DARLING MEDIC
(fem.human.medic.reader x pharma)
summary : tarn strikes up a deal with pharma. but when he refuses, the tank takes up a more personal measure to confront him.
warning : angst. fluff (if you look real close💀). blood. this is the DJD what'd you exoect. bro I fucking died writing this. wanted to cut this in like several parts but decided to merge it together. wanted to write this into a multi-chartered fic but my commitment could never. could be a series ig.
my darling medic doodles
[i]
Pharma doesn’t know what to say.
One moment he's caught Ambulon at gunpoint, then the next he’s scampering down the halls, clutching the vials close to his chassis as he tears through for an exit. The game is up. He should've known better than to nab the easy path. Responsibility purges itself a mile away when confronted at the baseline of his problems. Now, it's got him cornered and Ratchet — who barged into the room — his friend, his oh-so-dear friend, pulls up a blaster.
Points it at his face.
His own mirth were flaked with rust, crinkled into a grimace, where along the crevices, the miniscule cracks, oozed spatter of crimson. The gun was unsteady; he’s shaking. He's infected. The uncomfortable feeling of your insides twisting punched him back. It gutted him more than he could realize and he’s got no guts, just thrumming circuits struggling, and failing, to prevent the inevitable.
So he does just that— prevent the inevitable.
A, one, two, three BANG of bullets barrage the other side of the room. Disregarding the startled shout of surprise, he stepped round the corner, making a beeline for the shaft. Storms of remorse whirled around his processors as he pulls himself up the ladder. It jostled and creak, much like how his jitter palms does when he's drunk on andrenaline.
He’s made that mistake again. He should’ve known better. He should’ve. Impulse stumps logic and now, he's outside. In the cold. Digits clinched the edge, close to slipping. Close to falling. Ratchet is aboven and where his optics catch below, he can see the fall, the descending vertigo of ire before his eyes.
“Pharma, buddy — what the hell happened to you?”
He doesn’t know; he might never will.
[years before]
You scroll aimlessly through the datapad.
Propped against the armchair, legs crossed and ankle bobbing, the screen flared your face with a soft blue-ish glow as the lines of words blurred together the more you strained to stare.
You're bored. Tired, too. But mostly bored. You were able to rest in your office after a tough match with several unruly patients. They were mechs. Pretty big mechs. And, they were a little, ah, how do you put this, organicophobes?
One of them had a more dire diagnosis : a t-cog malfunction. A type 3 kind. One that involved the t-cog overheating from too much usage, causing it to, in a way if you were to explain in human terms, like an organ, rot. It was deteriorating quick and the metal shards, miniscule ones, had already infected the internal circuitry.
A kind of job that required smaller, steady hands.
In short, they required humans.
You can handle a bit of discrimination — resentment against Organics was normal here despite the rules ensured to prevent so — but it still gutted you, knowing these mechs can do better than to hate another race from their own.
Especially when the said race tried to save their life.
A little bit of acknowledgment doesn't hurt from time to time.
You hope they were doing well, though.
The silence of the room was broken by footsteps approaching your office. The sliding doors opened with a swish and there you could discern the wide Cheshire grin of smugness amidst the slight darkness of the room. You should really stop shutting the lights, its begging to hurt your eyes. His teeth were practically glowing and was obvious he's quite in a good mood today.
You tucked the datapad inside the cabinet and caved against the cushion of the armchair, tipping your chin up into a smile, brimming with curiosity. One much as a 'whats he gonna pull this time?' type of curiosity.
“Working hard, I presume?” He croons, slinking across the room to your cubicle with several strides.
You quirk a brow; he's got something behind his back but you don’t press.
“Depends on which report you’re haggling me about,” You reply back, a playful smile. “Though, I can’t say for sure which region I am currently hard in, doctor. Would you like a scan?"
It catches him off gaurd for a moment — a simple one, two, three blink of his optics and your smile prods wider upon the not so subtle twitch of his wings. It sags in frustration.
“And here I thought I might have, for once, an appropriate greeting from my darling. I can never grasp your vulgar little mind, no less the entire mapping of your organic, squishy little brain,” His optics twitches as he vents. "But I’m not here to lecture you on prudence, no. I’ve got you a little, ah, herbal gift from my trip off world. The one you adore so much.” Then he adds with a mumble. "So much more than me, apparently.”
You perk up, and if you’re anything like a bunny, those ears would straghten right up to the brim. "What, like tea?”
"Even better, dear."
A ceramic mug is quickly perched onto your desk with a clink. You can't help but to coo in adoration at the utterly adorable little thing. It’s those tiny little teacups with teal blue flowers pasted across. A petite like holder, round and smooth, accommodated the curl of your finger. Nostalgia wrings you nto its clutches, back to teatime with your stuffed animals. You'd always be the princess.
You inhale the drink, warm steam wisps from tea, the color is an emerald-like-ore cadence under the stark white light.
"Since when did they have green tea in Nexus?"
"Earth, apparently. Globalization this, Space-localization that. Ignore the specifics. I'm sure you're better off without another lesson in economy?"
"I'd rather keep my thinking intact."
“Hm, that's a lot less fun. Anywho, I've taken some of my time to make it myself.” He pronounced, optics closed, regarding the cup with a theatrical wave proudly. "In fact, I have purchased the finest, well-endowed tea packet from the best of the best merchants. Never mind the cost, it's a splendid little thing, no?”
You’re still a little stunned admiring the cup but you blurt the first thing to mind.
“Smells fruity, for sure.”
He snaps one optic open, then entire look falls into offense. “Fruity is not what I had in mind.”
Ah, fuck.
"....nice?”
"Not that, either.”
“Ah, er, well — Great....?"
“Try again, dear.”
“C'mon docbot, what do you want me to say?”
”I’ve bought a tea packet that costs more than what this entire hospital is worth and you're describing it as 'nice?'”
You scrambled for words, fishing for the right one until— “Fragrant!" You snap your finger. "Right, fragrance.”
He stares.
You stare.
His rigidness loosens a little.
“One of these days I should really lecture you on the essence of compliments. See there? The mug is a ceramic. I’ve taken much care to handle it. It's from a lovely old organic. Her little shop in Nexus are a must to visit again."
You lean against your palm, eyes crinkled, cheeks round with warmth. “Is this a compensation?"
"For breaking your bed, yes—" you choke a little at that "—Now, go on, taste it.” He bends over to rest his elbows on the table, perching his chin on his two servos like a girl would, kicking their little feet during a sleepover.
“Don’t you have to buy me a new bed to compensate for that?”
He huffs, “ I already did. This is a bonus. Now, stop stalling. I have a patient to tend in a few hours and unless you've not taken a sip, I'm not going anywhere."
"Right, right. No pressure, doc."
"Very much."
You pinch the cup between your index and thumb. A pinkie is jutted out the for dramatics where you caught his lethargic look of disdain to it. And the final act concludes when the rim kisses your lips and you take a sip.
"Well?"
You stare at the ceiling for a moment.
"s'good...woah, real good." You blink in surprise, licking your lips to process the taste. "It's like my mother's! How'd you make this?"
“I was hoping you’d ask that.” He takes it upon himself to sit on your desk, inching close. "It's a, well, how do I put this — an obscure ingredient I am not willing to disclose."
"...You didn't lace this with laxatives didn't you?" You challenge.
"Laxatives?" He almost balks. "No, of course not. Why would I ever do such a thing? Think again."
You squint like that'll help you think. "Vanilla extract?"
"No."
"Oh, come on! Sugar?"
"Not a chance, dear."
"Milk."
"Far from close."
"Salt?"
"Are you serious?"
"What is this, 20 questions? I'll die by the time I cover the whole list of ingredients." You stand up with a huff.
All he does return, however, is a bemused crinkle of mirth from his eyes.He says nothing, only curling out a digit where it prods the area just above your chest. He taps it. Once. Then twice. It took a moment before the cogs turned on its own, and when it does, your cheeks flared up much to your chagrin.Oh. Oh. Your heart. The secret ingredient is—
—love?
You slumped to your chair, clutching your face to fight away the embarrassment at his audacity. You wanted to say it was the lamest, cheap, heart grabbing compliment of all time but you can't.
You just can't.
It's too....sweet.
"I swear Pharma...." If anything, you're reduced to a sputtering mess.
"Pharma? Not so much. I think 'God' would be the latter end. I swear to God, no?"
"Okay smartass."
"I know my rear-end is quite fine. Though, reduce your compliments to the bedroom, please."
"Pharma!"
There was something innately fond with how he’s fixated upon your scrunched up faces and agitated eyes.
Your eyes, they were always so expressive, so bright, much like stars when they flicker amidst the darkest night. A miniscule notion yet so wide in prominence. A haven he could dwell in when plagued upon with sullen days.
He couldn’t resist, and with his digits squishing your cheeks, he pulls you close. The agitation melts the moment you feel his lips against your temple, cheek, nose then your lips.
You glare at him when he pulls away."
"...You’re really making it hard for me to focus my angry molecules into an explosive blast, you know."
“Blast? Please, the least you can do is wield a knife and you're horrible at combat.Also, that's scientifically inaccurate.”
“Oh, shut up.” You look away, faltering at the sight of the door. “....You know what I meant.”
“How about you, as the humans would say, shut me up for a change?" His eyes became playful, tone borderline seductive. You're still fixated on the door. “On the topic of something explosive. Since we’re getting off our shift early today, I was wondering if you’re willing to test the new coils on our bed—“
“….Pharma?” But your eyes on fixed on somewhere else, or someone behind him.
"Doctor."
That isn't your voice.
Pharma’s sensor flares much as his wings did when he whirled around. His spark churned at the sight of the engraved decepticon insignia on his chassis and the gruesome signature mask upholstered on the mech’s face. A mask intended to revel fear, douse the flames of sanity.
Instantly the atmosphere shifted.
It dawns upon him how vulnerable he currently is. How close youre in proximity to the tank. How easily he could tear through the room and kill you. Lodge a knife through your chest. Leave you there on the floor. Skull, cracked. Brains, spooling. Blood agash. A simple red stain on the rag.
Pharma is terrified — he’s terrified of his unpredictability. Whatever thoughts are churning in his head are reduced to a blank slate as his shadow looms over, dwarfing his frame. He's not even moving. Just lingering there by the door. Any second now he could lose his temper and any second later you could be dead. Reduced to atoms. When crimson eyes flickered over, leaning to the side to get a better look, Pharma steps aside to shield you from his gaze.
“I’ll be there, Tarn.” He says stiffly.
The mech regards you for a moment before striding off. Away. The doors swished closed. How'd he knows where he was?
“Who’s that?” You ask, an innocent question he wished he could answer but Pharma pulls you up to your feet, his optics locked on the door.
“No one important, darling .” He replies yet he's already packing your stuff, pulling and shoving everything from your desk. His servos are jittery, wings twitching, brows furrowed.
You follow him around, wringing your hands. "Pharma? I thought you said—“
“Go home without me, dear.” He whirls around after tucking in your jacket into the last slot of your pouch and slips the bag over your shoulder. "It’s late and you have an early shift tommorow, no?"
You deflate, defeated. "Yeah, but i—"
"I have a meeting to attend. It'll be be fine. I won't stay up too late, I promise."
You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He’s composed but you know he’s not. You know from the twitch of his digits he’s hiding something. He's a cunning deceptive man amidst all the layers but he's never a good liar. You wonder if it’s a reasonable time to press but in the end he’ll just figure out another lie to deceive you.
It'll hurt to leave.
You give him a wry grin. “Don’t stay up too late then or she’ll hog the covers.”
“Fortify the bed for me.” He pulls you for a kiss. "Get home safe."
"Will do, doc bot."
[ii]
Pharma doesn’t want to open the door.
Instead, he's pacing the front, wringing his servos, muttering to himself. He knows he should. But the temptation to stride in, get it over with, then walk back out was inviting. An in and out kind of ordeal wasn't the kind Tarn tolerates, much rather, he's mech hiding behind the facade of patience.
He's the worst to impatient.
Steeling himself, Pharma juts his chin up, bearing his usual haughty demeanor and barges through the door. Tarn's imposing presence was enough to halt his circuity but he pulls on the act, pedes an impatient thunk against the floor he rounds the desk, slumping on the chair. Unbothered.
“Make it quick. I have my duties to attend. Another influx of patients up from the east were admitted today. My schedules are full."
Tarn says nothing, regards him for a moment before tossing a deception insignia onto the table. It skidded across, bumping his elbow. By the scrapped off sheen of metal surrounding the symbol, it appears to be ripped out. There’s still energon on it. Barely dry. Pharma pulls away with a grimace. He needed air.
"One of your patients that I've taken care of."
By taken : unruly, unethical forms of torture.
“You ruined a nicely done table in favor of your dramatics.”
“Dramatics to which I prefer not to be taken ever so loosely, doctor." He flicks off a chip fron his talons. It plinks on his desk.
“You’re hiding them here.” He grits, a smooth croon of his voice. So deep, relaxing if not for the fact that he's close enough to snap his neck broken.
“No, I do not,”
“You know better than to lie to me, Pharma. You see, I know everything and it doesn’t take long for me to wrench that truth out of you, I assure you. So, answer me : are you hiding them here?"
“What does it matter to you?"
"A whole lot if you're anywhere close to the ranks of a deception warrior. But, for this circumstance, I will turn a blind eye to it and leave you alone."
Pharma straightens up, surprise. "Impossible. There should be a catch."
He can imagine how smug the smile behind the mask is. A crinkle of his eyes, a gentle prod of his lips — a facade so deceiving it was hard to believe this mech was the cause for all the sufferings they've imposed upon those traitors.
"Yes. And I'll get to the point. I accepted your rejection to your proposal last week because I understood your hesitance. I gave you time to think about it and right now it is dire I require more stocks of the T-cogs. Refuse me and I'll have to take up a more, personal counteractive measure to persuade you."
Pharma stiffens. He tries not to glance at your framed picture on his desk.
"You wouldn't want that would you?"
He narrows his optics. “I don’t know what you mean,"
Tarn shoots out an arm, wide digits curled around his neck cables before he yanks him close, clamping down, choking him. The doctor struggles, clawing at his chest.
“You’re meddling with an organic, Pharma—"Tarn croons, squeezing tighter with every disgust that laced his word. "—That is what I mean and while I prefer not to cut out the pleasantries, she will suffer from the consequences of your actions if you’re not going to concede. So, I’m going to make myself clear. Do you accept that deal or do you not?’’
Pharma tugs on his wrist to loosen the grip
“Please, anything, please, I—“ He holds up his hands placatingly, choking down his last grip of pride. "I'll do it. I'll do it! Just don't..."
Please, don’t hurt her.
"....Just don't. She's innocent. Don't bring her into this, Tarn. She's a remarkable doctor, please—"
Tarn releases his hold. Pharma drops to the ground, clutching his neck.
"I'll send you the list of requirements and a few donors willing to concede. You know where to find me when a problem arises."
Pharma is still on the ground, shaking, pressing his helm against the cold, metal floor. The footsteps disappear much like the diminishing hope in his chassis.He shouldn’t have listened, he shouldn’t have. Tarn and his sweet, sweet lies that’ were always so alluring, drawing him into the abyss.
[iii]
The tea cup, the one with the flowers painted across were discarded shards on the floor. Fragmented much like the reality he denies as he's wrangled behind. Arms tied. Wrists bounded. He stares, distraught.
You're in front of him. Behind was Tarn. He's got a blaster. And from the core were wisps of smoke,
”Ph..Pharma…” You’re confused as your palm hover overs the stain, the hole on your torso, the white a crimson red. You look down then up, expression contorted like you're asking him why. “I- I don’t understand…” You ramble and three frantic steps back you collapse, stumbling to the floor.
"What have you done....." Pharma tries to wrench away from Helex's grasp, voice rising to octaves. "Organic internal structures are weaker than a Cybertronians! This blow is fatal, do you not realize she'll die?!
Tarn steps over your body, and marches over to the jet, grabbing his face with a forceful shove. "Think again before you lecture me about those flesh-like scum. Why do you think I've chosen this method of action to condemn your actions with?"
"I couldn't get hold of the corpses in time!" He's frantic, shuffling, leaning aside to peer over the wide shoulders of Tarn. " They're not easy to get when you're a doctor every hour. I couldn't possibly kill the patients, cant I? Please, she needs medical attention, Tarn."
"And it's delayed, much like how you delayed my commodities."
"A deal is a deal. You should know better than to disrupt it."
He should've known better.
[iv]
Pharma shoots out an arm, he clutches the white jacket, the sleeve, pulling the body. He ignores how heavy, how limp and lifeless you were, compared to the motning when you were just laughing, rolling around on the bed that smelt like lavender, smiling about some pointless joke you scoured from the net.
With each pull, crimson stained and scraped the concrete floor, grime collecting at the base of your body. He doesn't seem to mind. He's too tired. Much too lethargic. When he's got you in his arms, he cradles you, holding you. His digits pinch your cheeks, You’re not warm anymore. You’re cold. Just like his armour, just like the air, just like your eyes. Much like a star, it's doused. The brightness — it's gone. No longer flickering. A mass, the singular speck, gone.
“Pharma, buddy —what the hell happened?”
“Everything. Everything did.”
He cups your jaw, presses a kiss to your temple, your nose, then one last lingering kiss to your lips.
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