#please tell me someone else feels this-

[autistic-katara]

why was i so much older at 10 than my little sister (currently 10) is now?

#fellow older siblings pls tell me u understand #like thinking back to when i was 10 and then looking at my sister theres no way thats the same age #like i dont wanna say i was more mature bcz thats wrong and maturity≠age #but just idk looking back at when i was her age she does not feel that adult #and its not like i was some parentified 10yo or anything #like sure i had 3 younger siblings and she only has 1 but just idk #the stuff i was thinking abt/thinking like/perceiving stuff feels sm older to the way she is #please tell me someone else feels this- #ryan shut the fuck up

[inkskinned]

oh you know it's all latestage capitalism but the thing is. how are you supposed to be a person inside of this. a person trying to be a better version of yourself.

oh, you started working young, which was kind of hard, but it's just the way stuff works sometimes. and it was 2008 and your family couldn't afford heat. but it's fine, you grow a spine and get used to the professional world and besides it was the suburbs we're talking about here, like, your life could have been actually hard, so what if your father lost his job and you can't afford to move or turn the lights back on. and once you start making money, it's good. you keep doing that. because now they're relying on you. so you have to do that.

oh you were in thousands of dollars of debt at 17 years old so that you could go to school, because you have to go to school if you want to get a "real" job. you even did it "right", you worked parttime and attended community college before you transferred to a public school. you were under so many merit scholarships.

which is fine. you pick yourself up and you say like, okay. i graduated college. i'm holding down a job. i'm doing the Adult Thing, which looks and acts like this, according to all the books i've read. you start with the shitty job and then you climb that corporate ladder.

but the shitty job doesn't cover rent and you stretch yourself too-thin so you get sick. good luck with that. the shitty job no longer pays for your meals. everyone asks why you don't just move, but there's nowhere to move to. and with what money are you going to be moving? and then the loans come back, because they were never going to forgive them, because you were 17 and trying to do the right thing, which was stupid. people are now saying you shouldn't have even gone to school.

which is fine. but because you have no other option, so you do the shitty job, and you apply every day for like 5 new ones, and despite the fact everyone says "there's no one who wants to work!" it's actually just that nobody is fucking hiring so you can either work for 13 dollars an hour in the shitty place you know (where at least you have a passingly friendly relationship with the manager) or you can start from scratch again with a different 13 dollars an hour without knowing how much abuse from the new job you'll be taking.

and if you quit you lose your insurance. if you quit you lose your housing. if you quit, you'll be another burnout kid. the lazy ones. these assholes, look at them!

and you come home to a family dinner and you hear from your father the same old thing. how he worked hard at his job and yes it sucked for a while but he was able to provide for the family and then the house and the dog and the rest of barbie's dream vacation. how the insurance did cover some of it. how you just really need to start speaking up more in manager conversations so they know you're a go-getter. you want to tell him - did you know we're actually doing more now hourly than any previous generation? - but you can't remember where you heard that statistic, and you're far too tired for the fucking argument. and then he starts in on his usual bit. where's the house? where's your kids? where's your ambition.

the same job the same money the same hours doesn't do it anymore. the same nose-to-the-grindstone now just shreds your face off. there's no such thing as upwards mobility, not really. and as far as you're aware, the money certainly is not trickling. you do the soulless stupid shit you signed up for because you fucking have to or else you literally risk your life (food, the apartment, the insurance), but it's not getting you anything. you download the stupid "save more" app and you budget and you do every right thing and then the price of eggs is 7 dollars and you say - oh great! another thing i have to fucking worry about now!

and you go to your stupid job and everyone in your father's generation just tells you to be better about being an adult. they have their homes and their savings account and their bailout and they say. well have you tried not drinking starbucks. well your generation just spends too much on clothing. well you might just be too addicted to travelling. and you - because you need the job - you bite your tongue and don't say i am being held prisoner and you're suggesting i stop pacing my cell if i don't like the scenery and you don't say what the fuck do you think i've been doing with my money and you don't say i haven't spent a cent on something nice in literally forever much less coffee you arrogant asshole. you open and close your bank app and check your loans and check your credit score and check fucking zillow and ziprecruiter and apartments.com just one time more. and still they give you that demeaning little grin and say - see, what you need is -

what you need is for your meds to stop being so fucking expensive. what you need is for the housing bubble to explode into dust. what you need is for billionaires to choke on their wealth. what you need is actual help. what you will get is more economic advice from people who are older-and-wiser.

and above you, almost in a glimmer, you can see the wedged smile of your debt getting toothier, wider.

#i hate when people try to tell me i didn't do it right #what should i have done better #i did it ALL the right way #(not that there is a right way) #it's just that others feel comfortable believing that THEY did it the right way and that's how they made money #whereas i must have just committed a sin somewhere in there! i MUST be doing it wrong!!! #and i'm not a victim!!! im simply experiencing consequences! #and im like. where . where. wherewherewherewhere #i graduated top of my class. i was almost the student speaker. #i have always excelled at work and i work hard #i have been working since i was 13 #WHERE !!!!! IS MY FUCKING !!!! MONEY!!!!!! #ps please do not make the assumption i am ablebodied or neurotypical. #i am neither of these things. #it DOES get worse if u are either of those things. so fuckin much #but @ the one anon who was like ''u could be X that would be worse u don't know how lucky u are'' #.... don't i? #do i need to be luckier than someone else #or is it possible we are BOTH victims? #and that we need to work TOGETHER to resolve it #not just wave it off since it COULD be harder for someone else... it can be true we BOTH deserve better

[just-null-cult]

are you oka- oh.

#kamo noritoshi #noritoshi kamo #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #yandere kamo noritoshi #yandere noritoshi kamo #yandere jujutsu kaisen #NO CAUSE HE WOULD COVER HIS MASSIVE DEATH GLARE IF HE KNEW YOU WOULD DEFEND THE OTHER PERSON #THEN YOUR ASS LOOKS AWAY AND BRO IS SHOOTING DAGGERS DUDE #i really like kamo #hes so babygirl #kamo has the hugest bitch face. i know it. i know he gives it out when the situation is fucking brutal. #its like the death glare someone else's momma gave you as a kid when you were bad #like bro #🧎‍♂️ damn im sorry #but in my mind he'd cover his face so you wouldnt be exposed to the death glare #smth smth only wanting you to see his perfect good boy self he crafted specifically for you smth smth #hed rather die than see you defend someone whos not him bc he doesnt want to compete for your attention. he feels it should belong to him #but it only makes the contrast of the peek that he gives others that much hotter. i mean scary #also tell me how you peeped the color change god please #i was so cool for that #the pink one.. your pov. hes double face palming.... at smth someone said/did. oh no!! #but for others its red. death glare. hes gonna make them regret upsetting him so much around you #to the point where he had to take his attention away from you for a second. not only that but your attention away from him too #wow kamo ur so. hot #stan kamo fr bro 🤟

[cirrus-grey]

One thing I gotta say I love about this whole "magnus archives two" hint is that, no matter what Rusty Quill announces on Oct 30th, they're either going to have:

A. Large numbers of angry fans screaming "Noooo! We don't want a sequel, put it back!!!"

Or

B. Large numbers of angry fans screaming "Noooo! We were promised a sequel, give it to us!!!"

#either way‚ SOMEONE'S going to feel cheated #the magnus archives #my magnus archives stuff #original post #statement remains #for my own part ive realized over the course of the day that id be happy with additional canon content #...but only if it doesnt force the entities back into jmart's lives #tell me that theyre alive tell me that theyre somewhere else #but please for the love of god tell me that they can REST #theyve had enough misery to last a lifetime #500 notes!

[moeblob]

What Deacon thinks: what did that mean? did he want me to wear a collar too? why else would he mention my neck? i mean, if he /asked/ me i would wear one but he didn't so would wearing one be weird?

What Ymber meant: It's nice to be near someone who isn't tethered to this world to serve it with a physical reminder for all to see.

#my characters #this just in ! thats why all the deities in the plot have collars and a chain ! #its because THATS THEIR DESIGNATED I AM HERE TO HELP THIS WORLD SYMBOL #they cant remove their collars and thats fine by them - its a constant reminder that they exist to serve #deacon really shouldnt get as much crap as he gets in canon for being weird cause the deities are just a different brand of weird #like its not deacons fault that apparently you can say nice neck with no underlying desire #but he cant say hi would you please possess me i want to know what its like to have someone else in my body #like thats really not something you should pin on deacon YET EVERY deity is like wow what a lil weirdo #he also just really wants to please ymber so if ymber asked he would definitely do whatever #on the flip side i need to point out that deacon very specifically doesnt ask ymber for things nor does he pray for things #and it drives ymber up a wall because this is his favorite human who wont ask for anything and he isnt a psychic #he doesnt know what deacon wants or needs and its infuriating cause he exists to serve humanity #and yet this ONE GUY wont let him do things for him #this is very important and i cant believe i mentioned it like a month ago to someone and today #i received gift art of these two and i may never recover #its so perfect and its ymber just looming over deacon telling him that he can pray about anything to him #its also worth pointing out that when i was telling the person about the whole ymber begging for a prayer #its because he realizes that after all this time hes never had a single prayer from deacon - not before nor after the hire #so hes like oh well thats odd hmm #and then begins to talk to deacon like you know people pray to me for lots of things #and deacon looks at him unsure of what this is leading to - did someone offer a weird prayer? ask a weird thing? whatst? #and no - its just ymber saying that people will pray for wealth or an item #or they will express frustration if something is lost or broken despite it not being ymbers fault so deacon just stares #he has no idea what this is going to end on really so he points out 'well you do like to think you break people' #and ymber just ASDFASDFSADF STOP OK NEXT POINT people pray to me to bless relationships with happiness #and thats fascinating so deacon is like wow can you actually do that? #and ymber is so stressed as hes like i mean kinda i can simply amplify the positive emotions in gestures #like if someone gives an item out of love then its blessed #he also admits that he cant mask insincerity or malice so those feelings are not hidden nor amplified #and deacon just is impressed bc that is actually VERY cool

[just-a-leech-boy]

Taskmaster autism special with Fern Brady, Ivo Graham, Joe Thomas, Katy Wix, and Sam Campbell.

#taskmaster #i know only fern and katy are diagnosed but both joe and and sam have both said they think they think theyre autistic #ivo graham idk tho #if someone knows if anyone else thats been on tm is autistic or self dxs please tell me #also i am not officially diagnosed but my therapist did give me the thumbs up about it. #whenever i say anything about autism i feel like i have to say that

[skwc]

screencap redraw of when kiryu got his feelings hurt by a hostess in yakuza 4, but i didn't actually get a screencap since i got jumpscared when the camera panned to him, and then he turned away so quickly that i could only watch...

#please tell me someone else out there saw this scene. i feel like i imagined it #kiryu kazuma #yakuza 4 #yakuza #like a dragon #ryu ga gotoku #rgg #she told him he looks like a scary guy 😔 #skwc

[good-beanswrites]

Just wanted to plant an idea if you wanted a bit of fuel: Mahiru asking Yuno to come to her cell before everything goes down.

Edit: I forgot the ask didn't say it but this is part of Kyanako's incredible Order Of Attack AU!

Didn't mean for this to become a mini Mappi study but here we are ✨ Thank you for the request! I fully intended to write them hanging out, but it's more right before they hang out lol. Went a bit on-the-nose with foreshadowing, but isn't that the fun part? It has become Emotional Over Mahiru Hour...

I kept things vague, but TW for mentioning her boyfriend's state of potential self-harm

Mahiru tried not to act superstitious, she really did. As much as she loved the idea of little luck charms, or avoided easy signs of misfortune, it was easier to keep quiet about such ridiculous things.

Maybe catching a bride’s bouquet meant no guarantees; maybe there was no real harm in stepping underneath ladders, maybe a coin tossed into a fountain had no real magic to its wish. However, the one thing she knew for sure held power was a lucky presence. Being in the right place at the right time could alter everything. And today was the right time for something. There was this waiting in the air. The prison had been holding its breath. Mahiru knew it was time to release it all.

“You must be so lonely, why don’t you let big sis Mahiru keep you company?” She beamed at Amane.

She often recalled the good fortune that she and a certain young man had crossed paths on the university terrace. She used to laugh with him about the wonderful coincidence of bumping into each other outside of the bakery, then the convenience store. 

Though she’d never spoken about it to him, she was also grateful for many occasions where she walked in on him at the precise moment to talk him out of something reckless. She always told him that they’d do everything together. He didn’t need to be alone anymore. 

“I wish to be alone. I need peace of mind to think.” Amane turned away from the cell door.

It was a good thing, too. Mahiru’s smile wasn’t as convincing as she said, “o-oh. Of course.”

She made her way around the panopticon, hearing Fuuta pace his cell in anticipation. He must have felt it too, this holding of breath. 

Or perhaps not. He turned down her offer for a bit of company, including a few more colorful words than Amane had. Mahiru just apologized for bothering him and headed back to her cell. She wasn’t sure where Mikoto was at this hour, but she didn’t feel like smiling through a third rejection.

She shook her head back and forth. She wished the motion could rattle the voices inside, she wished she could shake them all away. With her arms secured in place she could no longer cover her ears. She used to hum to keep them at bay, but lately they’d been too loud to stifle. They just kept on talking.

Their words told her the two were right. Nobody needed her company. No – nobody wanted it. Being together hadn’t helped her boyfriend. In fact, being together had been the very thing that got him killed. No wonder Amane and Fuuta wanted to avoid her. 

So then, this was for the best. She would rather deal with the brief sting of refusal than stumble in one day to find them hurt… or worse. As much as she tried to avoid the superstition of it all, the voices reminded her that her very presence could mean life or death. 

“Mappi, are you alright?” Mahiru hadn’t realized a tear had slipped down her cheek until she hurried to swipe it away in front of Yuno. 

“Hah, I’m fine! Just fine.” It was impossible to fool her, Mahiru had learned, but that never stopped her from trying. 

At least she always spoke tactfully. “Rough morning?”

Mahiru shifted her arms in her uniform, making a small sound of agreement.

“Can I do anything to help? What if I stay with you for a bit? I can do your hair, and…”

The voices were right. Amane and Fuuta knew it, too. Presences did hold power, and Mahiru’s was cursed.

But she would sound foolish admitting such a fear to Yuno. She'd heard plenty from the voices about how stupid and airheaded she was, there was no use in getting the same lecture from someone as grounded as her.

Mahiru managed a weak protest, unable to explain her real reasoning. Yuno was insistent. She didn’t give much of a choice. Could she feel the strangeness of the prison, as well? 

At last, Mahiru allowed her shoulders to sag. Yuno was lucky. And kind. Having her nearby would do her good. Amane and Fuuta would be alright. Mahiru had tried spending more time with them after verdicts were announced. Now, she made a mental note to pull back. If her love couldn’t save anyone, at least she could spare them from her curse. They would be safe. 

“Yes. Please stay. The truth is... I don't want to be alone.”

#milgram #mahiru shiina #yuno kashiki #amane and fuuta mentioned #i dont know how well this all fits in with your vision of the au but i had a ton of fun with this lmao sorry 😂 #oh hey if anyone knows any japanese superstitions like those in the beginning lmk #i was trying to research them but i kept getting lucky symbols/words - not necessarily actions like that #anyway thank you so much for this!! it was a really interesting moment to capture >:0 #drabbles that take me way too long to combine my three brain cells but im really pleased with the end result #i had a lot of Mahiru Thoughts but it took a bit of fiddling to make them fit together #the superstitiousness - the focus on one's presence - the parallels with his bf - what she's dealing with from the voices #im glad it came together semi-smoothly in the end asdfsd #i didnt mean for mahiru t break the fourth wall or anything -- #i always saw her as a master at picking up on social changes/cues so she can tell when things are most tense/kotoko is fully prepared #but she doesnt consciously know it -- she just knows that things feel Off #not only do the attacks confirm mahirus fear that shes cursed - but yunos involvement confirms her belief that shes extra lucky #i wonder if shed still end up spending all her time with yuno now that she thought she was such a protective person... #i couldnt articulate it right since the end was wrapping up so nicely - but mahiru starts to wonder if most people are fine being left alon #and *shes* the odd one out for craving company #then she feels isolated because by getting what she wants shes dooming someone else #i mean... if everyone you try to get close to starts getting hurt... wouldnt you worry about the same...? #AHAHAHAHA hope you enjoyed 🙃 #*posts this then retreats back into the void for a bit* #drabbles

[haven-of-dusk]

What's that? Why yes, it's another WIP idea (gods I need a priority organizer for these at some point).

This one's simple though, working title is just straight up, Walnut Mist:

Jamie, tired of Richard and Jan making jests about his hair, teams up with Colin (and Zoreaux) to dye their hair while they're sleeping, with the additional help of some definitely legal and not at all homemade 'sleep enhancers' Bumbercatch made.

When they wake up, as to be expected, all hell breaks loose.

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #richard montlaur #jan maas #i almost feel like I've seen this concept before so if someone else is writing this please tell me #because my own thoughts are giving me deja vu

[oatbugs]

oh my god ! haha . anyway a bit buzzed perhaps. anyway here's what happened on the date

#at some point i took the earrings off. the metal clanging was screaming their name too loud and it #was 6 knives to the throat and he confirmed it so. here's the kicker. you can be taught a lot and you can have their hands on your thighs #and you can kiss them but even if they pray even if they tell you about the bible looking into you like really they lost what they believed #in a pennsylvania countryside catholic schools with a protestant family since joining the london school of economics #even if they pray for you to stay the whole way even though their hair was softer than hers you think of her and he thinks of someone else #and be tells you none of it will make sense. they smile and they say what a shame you might miss the train but they hold onto you #the entirety of you - like a religion or a polite insistence or something to keep. #you learned they were used to losing everyone they felt bound to love. they said they got really good at letting go. you were told #you think he's being epistemologically #irresponsible and he tells you he carries a massive task. he tells you the responsibility is monumental #and he feels responsible for defining responsibility. he shows you songs and his poetry. my eyes feel on fire. #she doesnt know this. this is marylebone. the next station is edgeware road. everyone here looks happy and high and clear of the doors. #he says tell me when you get to the station and very especially tell me if you don't. the next station is paddington. please mind the gap #between the train and the platform. you say this to him. he says i minds the gap between you and i. i mind it so much that i need you to #come back. he says this because you kissed him briefly but you kissed him well. she says you're a good kisser but he says you have him #stunned. he asks you who decides the truth. he tells you you decide the truth without his mouth. you're fast enough to make it there before #the wheels do. this world is lit by glass and light and people with a pact to fall in love with the abstractions more than each other. #he tells you to be committed to your various intangible loves more than anyone. you both have to be. they love each other anyway. #i was supposed to find a persian poetry book with her on our fourth date except she was hours late. i found it with him. he didnt give up #he should be perfect and i should really like him.

[youretoosweetforme]

21 is not enough (it’s 1:39am and I’m alone)

Is it too much to ask?

1 She lays on top of me like a weighted blanket. We had put a movie on. Neither of us will watch it. 2 I run my fingers through her hair and let my knuckles catch on the tangles. 3 We stand outside in the rain and dance. I let her push me down to the pavement. We are happy. 4 It’s three in the morning and she wants to bake. I sit on the counter and dust her nose with flour. 5 The sun rises. The curtains did not get closed. Neither of us move. 6 It’s autumn and the leaves are turning. Each colour is mirrored in the way the sunlight dances through her hair. 7 We are on a roof, looking up at the stars. Each one looks like her. 8 She grins at me. She looks like warm honey and cinnamon. 9 I lay my head on her stomach, and listen. Each sound reminds me that we are alive. 10 We are standing in the street, lit by neon and street lamps. It is dark. The light reflects off the snow on the ground like a kaleidoscope, and shines in her eyes. I cannot help myself. 11 We are in a grocery store. She asks me to push her in the cart. I do. 12 She hands me a sticky note covered in doodles. I fold it up and put it in my wallet. It never leaves. 13 She stands in the sea, waves to her knees, letting it soak through her jeans. I snap a picture. The one in my mind lasts longer. 14 I am barely awake enough to stand. She wraps her arm around my waist, and takes me inside. 15 I look at the hundreds of photos I could hang on the wall above the bed. I try to fit as many as possible. There could never be enough room. 16 A crack of thunder, and the power goes out. She has plenty of candles. 17 I don’t know where we are. I don’t know what time it is. We are in the back seat of a car, her head is on my chest, and the music is still playing. I don’t want to leave. 18 There are a million words we’ll never tell another soul. 19 We sit in silence, listening to the other breathe. We do not move. The sun sets, and rises again. 20 We are on a boat, in the middle of a lake. We can see the stars; she is soaked in moonlight. I take another picture. I can’t take my eyes off her. The picture comes out blurry. 21 The little things mean so much.

Is it too much to ask?

#kinda hate the title but I can’t think of anything else #if someone has suggestions please tell me #also don’t know how I feel about this. it’s kinda saying a lot #this is a product of me being sleep deprived and gay and really emotionally repressed #I tried to keep it non-specific but. idk #she’s really special to me #god I need sleep #don’t look at me #mack writes poetry #poetry #sapphic poetry #<33

[depressedstressedlemonzest]

Kinda sucks being late to the rumbelle party because I want to write some fics but the ones I wanna do seem like they've already been done several times over.

#i know the whole yay cake yay more cake meme about fics with the same premise #but still #im glad i get to read all of the ones out there #but i wanna write something... great #and it seems like there's so much already #i dont want to seem like im taking someone elses idea or whatever #but thats how it feels a bit #if anyone has fic recs for me to read please tell me! #rumbelle #ouat #once upon a time #belle ouat #belle x rumple #rumplestiltskin #ouat rumple

[munamania]

oh my god. im not gonna be a big baby but i sent a post abt this thing lydia and i are going to saturday (hashtag dyke night!) to be like also if u guys r interested... as another chance to hang out etc... and the one emphasized a silly little gif the other sent last night calling me a loser and then just loved the message about where theyre meeting tn

#sorry for not wanting to hang out in situations that make me feel small! my bad <3 #dk what the fuck i did. but again this just reminds me of when i sent a message abt a friendsgiving thing or smth i couldnt make last semes #er and said smth abt still trying to hang with some of the other part of their group before break. and not a single person answered #or reacted. and then they sent photos of them hanging out that night. and thats it #someone please tell me if im really the asshole i mean i know youre getting my perspective on it so youre all biased but like. #and then the other one said 'yes.' but i imagine thats in response to them confirming their plans and not my thing #since they didnt like. ask anything else abt it or anything

[captainswan618]

Yet again Brennan (through Tom Thumb) is asking Gerard how he feels about his identity!!

Do you feel like the run away guy? Do you feel like a frog?

If you feel like one, you’ll behave like one.

#dimension 20 #neverafter #prince gerard of greenleigh #princess elody of greenleigh #gerelody #ADVANCING MY THEORY (and someone else whose url I don’t remember) THAT GERARD (AT LEAST RIGHT NOW) IS A FROG BECAUSE HE *FEELS* LIKE HE IS #*that of someone else #if Gerard feels like he is always the run away guy he will feel stuck in that and never try to become anything else #and if he feels like he is a frog because he doesn’t feel like Elody could love him; then he *will* be one bc he doesn’t love himself #is this making any sense. please tell me I’m not insane #captainswan618 talks too much

[neogotchi]

ok I'm still mad about the ahsoka season finale because like. what was that. that was like an average rebels episode end not a whole ass season end excuse me

im not really in the sw Fandom so I'm not gonna shout too hard into the void here but oh my god there was so much potential for this season hhhh

anyways back to my rebels rewatch to comfort myself

#ahsoka #sw rebels #part of the problem is new shows only getting like 8 episodes and that being NOT enough time to tell a good story with their ambitions #which is obviously a disney/streaming/industry issue. #but still i feel like i just walked a mile only to end up on street away from where we started #to sum up my thoughts more quietly: #ahsoka and sabine shouldve flipped who gave the map around to make more sense #(someone else explained it better but trust me) #ezras lightsaber should Not be blue #and sabine being force sensitive doesnt make sense and shouldnt be Required for her to be important #and LET THE GHOST CREW HUG / ROUGHHOUSE WITH EACH OTHER PLEASE GOD

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Having previous bad habits really sucks for a number of reasons, but one really is that it just doesn't really leave you even when it feels like it should. Lately things have been not so great. Everything feels so bland. I don't enjoy the things I do as much and I'm desperately trying my best to get out of it. I'm trying to go outside and talk with friends, and just trying whatever I can think of. But there's this constant thought in the back of my mind that the empty feeling could very easily be gone, at least for some time, if I just hurt myself. Because that's what I used to do when I felt like this. And I want to avoid doing that, but the thought is still there and there's still times where its something I start considering and have to really try to push myself away from thinking about. Or how I used to purposefully make myself feel worse because I preferred feeling awful to feeling like everything is bland and uninteresting. And like I'm doing that again. I noticed today that I'm doing stuff like that again and I have to try to push myself away from it, but that's way fucking easier said than done. But like I'm better now. My mental health isn't as bad as it used to be. It's not exactly amazing now, but it's not nearly as bad as before. It's better and this shouldnt happen. But yet they do. These habits are still here even though I should be better and I should be okay. I just wish it was okay

#i feel like this is partly my fault bc if i hadnt moved back into my parents house maybe my mental health wouldnt br getting worse again #but i didnt know what else to do and i was scared of doing all this by myself #idk sorry for the vent posts constantly #if someone can please tell me that things will be okay; i could really use that rn #vent post #self harm mention