#whereas i must have just committed a sin somewhere in there! i MUST be doing it wrong!!!

[inkskinned]

oh you know it's all latestage capitalism but the thing is. how are you supposed to be a person inside of this. a person trying to be a better version of yourself.

oh, you started working young, which was kind of hard, but it's just the way stuff works sometimes. and it was 2008 and your family couldn't afford heat. but it's fine, you grow a spine and get used to the professional world and besides it was the suburbs we're talking about here, like, your life could have been actually hard, so what if your father lost his job and you can't afford to move or turn the lights back on. and once you start making money, it's good. you keep doing that. because now they're relying on you. so you have to do that.

oh you were in thousands of dollars of debt at 17 years old so that you could go to school, because you have to go to school if you want to get a "real" job. you even did it "right", you worked parttime and attended community college before you transferred to a public school. you were under so many merit scholarships.

which is fine. you pick yourself up and you say like, okay. i graduated college. i'm holding down a job. i'm doing the Adult Thing, which looks and acts like this, according to all the books i've read. you start with the shitty job and then you climb that corporate ladder.

but the shitty job doesn't cover rent and you stretch yourself too-thin so you get sick. good luck with that. the shitty job no longer pays for your meals. everyone asks why you don't just move, but there's nowhere to move to. and with what money are you going to be moving? and then the loans come back, because they were never going to forgive them, because you were 17 and trying to do the right thing, which was stupid. people are now saying you shouldn't have even gone to school.

which is fine. but because you have no other option, so you do the shitty job, and you apply every day for like 5 new ones, and despite the fact everyone says "there's no one who wants to work!" it's actually just that nobody is fucking hiring so you can either work for 13 dollars an hour in the shitty place you know (where at least you have a passingly friendly relationship with the manager) or you can start from scratch again with a different 13 dollars an hour without knowing how much abuse from the new job you'll be taking.

and if you quit you lose your insurance. if you quit you lose your housing. if you quit, you'll be another burnout kid. the lazy ones. these assholes, look at them!

and you come home to a family dinner and you hear from your father the same old thing. how he worked hard at his job and yes it sucked for a while but he was able to provide for the family and then the house and the dog and the rest of barbie's dream vacation. how the insurance did cover some of it. how you just really need to start speaking up more in manager conversations so they know you're a go-getter. you want to tell him - did you know we're actually doing more now hourly than any previous generation? - but you can't remember where you heard that statistic, and you're far too tired for the fucking argument. and then he starts in on his usual bit. where's the house? where's your kids? where's your ambition.

the same job the same money the same hours doesn't do it anymore. the same nose-to-the-grindstone now just shreds your face off. there's no such thing as upwards mobility, not really. and as far as you're aware, the money certainly is not trickling. you do the soulless stupid shit you signed up for because you fucking have to or else you literally risk your life (food, the apartment, the insurance), but it's not getting you anything. you download the stupid "save more" app and you budget and you do every right thing and then the price of eggs is 7 dollars and you say - oh great! another thing i have to fucking worry about now!

and you go to your stupid job and everyone in your father's generation just tells you to be better about being an adult. they have their homes and their savings account and their bailout and they say. well have you tried not drinking starbucks. well your generation just spends too much on clothing. well you might just be too addicted to travelling. and you - because you need the job - you bite your tongue and don't say i am being held prisoner and you're suggesting i stop pacing my cell if i don't like the scenery and you don't say what the fuck do you think i've been doing with my money and you don't say i haven't spent a cent on something nice in literally forever much less coffee you arrogant asshole. you open and close your bank app and check your loans and check your credit score and check fucking zillow and ziprecruiter and apartments.com just one time more. and still they give you that demeaning little grin and say - see, what you need is -

what you need is for your meds to stop being so fucking expensive. what you need is for the housing bubble to explode into dust. what you need is for billionaires to choke on their wealth. what you need is actual help. what you will get is more economic advice from people who are older-and-wiser.

and above you, almost in a glimmer, you can see the wedged smile of your debt getting toothier, wider.

#i hate when people try to tell me i didn't do it right #what should i have done better #i did it ALL the right way #(not that there is a right way) #it's just that others feel comfortable believing that THEY did it the right way and that's how they made money #whereas i must have just committed a sin somewhere in there! i MUST be doing it wrong!!! #and i'm not a victim!!! im simply experiencing consequences! #and im like. where . where. wherewherewherewhere #i graduated top of my class. i was almost the student speaker. #i have always excelled at work and i work hard #i have been working since i was 13 #WHERE !!!!! IS MY FUCKING !!!! MONEY!!!!!! #ps please do not make the assumption i am ablebodied or neurotypical. #i am neither of these things. #it DOES get worse if u are either of those things. so fuckin much #but @ the one anon who was like ''u could be X that would be worse u don't know how lucky u are'' #.... don't i? #do i need to be luckier than someone else #or is it possible we are BOTH victims? #and that we need to work TOGETHER to resolve it #not just wave it off since it COULD be harder for someone else... it can be true we BOTH deserve better

[shachaai]

I need to know,,, one last thing. How do you think Engport would be around each other in the current times (not talking about c*vid since thats a mess everywhere); but you know, i read somewhere and just loved this line where a uk ambassador said "british tourists and holidaymakers have had a long standing love affair with portugal and the portuguese" lol. But propanganda and jokes aside, do you think they are able to put the whole 19th-20th century insanity past them and appreciate their good times once again? honestly I'm just pining for your lovely analysis / scenarios so pleaseee tell us more about them 👉👈. Taking a break my ass, i live for your blogs.

Taking a break can take whatever form you want it to.

I think, existing as Nations, all Nations have really got to take the ‘Forgive Thy Enemy’ approach sooner or later - sometimes very much later - or they’re going to spend an immortal life incredibly lonely. Nations canonically cannot spend too long around any mortal being without affecting the mortal’s lifespan - and in human cases, their sanity -, so all their long-lasting relationships can only really be with each other.

So I believe Nations always forgive each other their sins eventually - or at the very least, mutually agree to Not Discuss certain events in their histories. It would be incredibly hypocritical of them not to, as sins committed against them are often ones they themselves have committed against others, and a lot of their major dramas are international incidents where no-one is 100% blameless. (Obviously, there are always exceptions; I’m speaking in generalities here.)

That said, I don’t think England and Portugal really had the ‘Forgive Thy Enemy’ issue in the first place, as I don’t think they ever considered each other enemies. The Ultimatum wasn’t the end of a friendly rivalry with each other, but they certainly weren’t working towards each other’s downfalls? It’s sifting through levels of shittiness, but there is a difference between actively trying to cause someone harm because it will benefit you, and acting to benefit yourself even though it may or may not cause someone harm. The former is the act of an aggressor (and an enemy), whereas the latter is something all Nations have done at at least one point in history. All sovereign Nations must prioritise self-love over love towards another Nation, or they’re not going to last long as an independent power. And you can’t blame - for too long - a wolf for being a wolf.

Things just sucked for Portugal at the end of the 19th century because, prior to that, English/British interests usually aligned with Portuguese ones, rather than setting them at odds. (I mean, there’s a rather sweet tidbit of history I - vaguely, don’t make me hunt down the details because it was a long time ago - recall reading about how Victorian British steamers transported Portuguese mail at the same rates as British mail throughout the British Empire - a privilege afforded to no other nation.)

...I feel like I’ve wandered away on a little tangent a bit, but uh - yeah? England and Portugal have forgiven each other. Necessity prompted it even without the emotional drive for them to reconnect when time took the sting out of anger and betrayal. The Imperial Scramble for Africa is hardly an ongoing crisis that still puts the British and Portuguese at odds. British holidaymakers boost the Portuguese economy; there’s a transient and permanent Portuguese population in London of seasonal workers and Portuguese people who settled there to stay. The English are quite fond of Portuguese fruit and booze (especially in our fancy fruit Christmas/wedding cakes), and the Portuguese seem to like what we do with media, literature and chocolate.

Just plop these nerds in front of the telly after a day at the beach so they can watch terrible dramas and scoff a great deal of food that is terribly unhealthy, washing it all down with sweet wine. There’s no time for reminiscing over past sorrows when Port’s sniffling dramatically at the latest nonsensical instalment of a telenovela and England has just slid sideways in a heap on his lap because maybe the plot(? What plot? There’s a lot of yelling and dramatic close-ups and that’s it) will make more sense if he’s a) smashed and b) sideways.

#you know it's some kind of love if someone watches a telenovela with you #it's a good excuse to be a little half-drunk puddle on Port's lap anyway #engport #Arthur Kirkland #aph Portugal #hetalia #chiring-art

[paradoxcase]

The Pyre of Denethor is both more and less dramatic in the book than in the movie.  In the movie they actually have Pippin personally pull Faramir out of the burning pyre, which is extremely cinematic, but in the book Gandalf arrives before the pyre is lit and rescues Faramir before that can happen, and actually has time to have a big argument with Denethor about whether or not he has the right to commit suicide before he actually does it.  This is because of a character who doesn’t appear in the movie - a city guard whom Pippin befriended the day before the battle is alerted to the situation by Pippin, and he comes and actually physically prevents Denethor’s servants from bringing him torches until Gandalf can arrive.

Gandalf’s argument with Denethor is interesting, as with all of the other dialog between them - Gandalf tells Denethor that only “heathen” kings kill themselves and their family members when all seems lost, but “heathen” kind of doesn’t have a lot of meaning in a world without Christianity.  The companion speculates that he meant people who don’t recognize Eru/people who worship Sauron or Morgoth by that term.  This actually goes a bit against the way Tolkien has been worldbuilding these cultures so far, as they are mainly based on the Anglo-Saxons and their contemporary Germanic cultures, and those guys were all about committing ritual suicide to reclaim honor.  But Tolkien was a Catholic, and as such, would have considered suicide a sin.  It’s not the only place Christianity came into the narrative - the entire conception of Eru as a singular creator who is the only being capable of creating true life is also a Christian concept.  As discussed in my replies to rorylgilmore, there’s also dialog about Aragorn in this argument that in the movie was awkwardly transplanted to the very first meeting of Gandalf and Denethor, which makes Denethor seem kind of paranoid in general, whereas in the book when he says this he’s at the end of his rope and is looking for reasons to attack Gandalf.

In the movie, when Pippin tells Gandalf what is going on with Denethor, he immediately puts him on his horse and runs off to deal with it.  In the book he is reluctant to leave his position of managing the battle and says that if he leaves to save Faramir, other people will die.  When he comes back from dealing with Denethor, he looks out from the city and seems to see the death of Theoden and says something that implies that he perhaps could have saved Theoden if he had been able to be there instead of having to deal with Denethor.  He doesn’t blame Pippin or Denethor though, but Sauron - Denethor’s madness was caused by his use of the palantir, through which Sauron allowed him to see exactly what he knew would make him lose hope, and Gandalf considers this an attack by Sauron just as much as the actual battle that is going on.

After the battle, there’s a great sequence in which Aragorn personally heals Faramir, Eowyn, and Merry (Eowyn and Merry have had something Nazgul-related happen to them as a result of stabbing the witch-king).  To go back a long time to the first half of the Fellowship, just after Frodo was stabbed with the morgul blade Aragorn tells Sam to look for “athelas”, and then when he doesn’t understand, gives it the name “kingsfoil” and Sam exclaims that that is a weed.  This was a nod to this part of the story in Minas Tirith - although Aragorn did actually treat Frodo with athelas in the Fellowship in the book, he already had some and actually claimed that it didn’t grow at all in the area where they were.  But in Minas Tirith, he actually does have to ask the herbmaster for athelas and (in typical Tolkien fashion) the guy gives him a long speech about all of its different names in the various languages and how it has no medical properties whatsoever and then finally says that he doesn’t have any, so they have to go find someone who does.  Some other minor characters say things to the effect of that there is some mythology surrounding the idea that it had healing properties when used by the kings, but there hasn’t been a king in Gondor in a very long time...  Then Aragorn uses it to heal Faramir, Eowyn, and Merry, and spends a lot of time with Elrond’s sons healing the other people who were injured in the battle.  Faramir seems to recognize that Aragorn must be the king immediately after he is healed (it’s not clear how - maybe the mind powers I discussed earlier?  maybe he recognized the healing powers somehow?) and then the rumor that the king has returned and is healing everyone circulates.

The companion says that Aragorn’s healing power is not just a power of the kings, but is actually inherited by all descendants of Luthien.  Luthien was the Elf half of the first Elf/Man pairing that started the lineage that eventually resulted in Elrond and Elros, Elros being the first king of Numenor.  I believe Luthien was also the daughter of a Maia, which would explain where this power came from.  So, it’s not just Aragorn that has this power, but also Elrond and Elrond’s sons (who were helping Aragorn heal people) as well as all the kings of Numenor, Gondor, and Arnor.  In fact, if you remember, Aragorn was actually not able to completely heal Frodo back in the Fellowship, and he had to be brought to Elrond to receive full healing.  There’s a quote somewhere from Aragorn saying that Elrond is the most powerful descendant of Luthien and thus has the most of her powers.

There’s kind of a funny moment just before this happens when Aragorn tells Imrahil (who is the brother of Denethor’s deceased wife, who takes command of the battle while both Denethor and Gandalf are busy) that although, yes, he is the king, he is going to camp outside the city while the war is still going on because he doesn’t want to cause internal strife with Denethor, and Imrahil is like, yes, as a relative of Denethor I can tell you, this is a great idea, please do that.  Of course, by the time this conversation takes place Denethor is already dead, so it turned out to be kind of a moot point.

#lord of the rings #lotr #aragorn #denethor #gandalf

[wisdomrays]

Asking Forgiveness : Part-1

QUESTION: In this contemporary age when sins have spread like an epidemic, what does istighfar (asking forgiveness) promise for believers? Would you talk about particular segments of time that may be preferable for seeking God’s forgiveness?

ANSWER: Every child is born with the pure primordial nature, as stated by the Messenger of God. The essential idea in man’s responsibilities in this world is preserving this original nature until the time of death. All of the good acts that can lead one to eternal bliss are apt to protect this original nature, whereas all of the forbidden acts that might lead one to destruction are apt to corrupt it. While believers should build up sound sets and barriers against destructive sins on the one hand, they should constantly seek ways of preserving their original nature in untainted form. Every sin committed is a deformation with respect to human nature. Restoring one’s original nature after such deformation is only possible through istighfar—asking the forgiveness of God Almighty. Sometimes a heart contaminated by sins may come to the point of inability to fulfill its function. Thus, freedom from sins which take one nearer to unbelief and clearing up the stains sins leave on the heart are only possible through seeking God’s forgiveness and protection from sins.

Preventive medicine

Indeed, believers must adopt a resolved stance from the very beginning and not step toward even the pettiest kind of sins. They need to strive for an auspicious atmosphere to keep them clean from sins and avoid dangerous grounds, just like one escapes from (the venomous bites of) snakes and scorpions. Such resolution and alertness can be achieved only by those with a believing heart and profound conscience that feel as if he or she is falling into Hell with every sin. If one does not feel disgusted at a sin, then it is possible to judge that that person’s heart has already lost its vitality. A heart that does not feel upset and react against one’s wrongdoings or a heart that does not cause the person to lose sleep in remorse resembles a dead body. For this reason, a true believer’s heart reacts against sin. And the foremost reaction to be shown is istighfar—seeking God’s forgiveness and protection from wrongdoings.

As a believer says “Astaghfiru’llah” (I seek the forgiveness of God), he or she actually says—with the immense meaning of the Arabic present tense (mudhari)—that I seek Your forgiveness all the time as I am now asking and will always ask forgiveness from You. In this way the repentant one renders the wish for forgiveness of a past sin as a petition that includes an entire future. In fact, the All-Forgiving God may accept a single repentance and demand for forgiveness as forgiving of all sins of that person. However, what befalls on us is not sufficing with a single petition but continuing to ask forgiveness for a lifetime and bearing the remorse within. One must think how shameful it is to have committed the sin despite being shown the right guidance, what an insolence it is to dismiss a promise like Paradise and indulge in sin, always feel due shame within, and thus constantly make istighfar, to the degree of asking forgiveness ten thousand times for a single sin. Sometimes one should be unsatisfied even with that much, and say “alfu-alfi (a million times) Astaghfirullah,” trying to feel it within a million times over.

The elixir that cuts out the root of inclination toward evil

As istighfar restores the damaged human nature, it cuts out the root of inclination toward evil as well. A person who continuously purifies oneself by istighfar eliminates a ground of sins at the same time and no virus to invite others remains in the heart. In addition, God Almighty may curtail the feelings of inclination toward evil in a person who makes istighfar continually. In the Quran, God Almighty gives the glad tidings about the repentant ones who do good, righteous deeds that He will efface their sins and record righteous deeds in their place (al-Furqan 25:70). As He erases the record of deeds from sins, He can fill those gaps with beautiful things out of His infinite mercy. It is a different manifestation of the fact that His mercy surpasses His wrath.

Important time segments for istighfar

It is a tradition of the Prophet, upon whom be peace and blessings, to ask forgiveness three times right after performing the obligatory (fard) Prayers. The following two points can explain the wisdom of asking God’s forgiveness right after carrying out the act of worship—which is most loveable to God—with the prostrations during which the worshipper is expected to ascend to the nearest proximity to his or her Lord: firstly, people’s inability to maintain full concentration at the Prayer, failing to sense standing in the Divine presence but still roaming through their own world and running after their own pursuits. Such attitude constitutes a kind of disrespect toward God, especially during the Prayer, which is, indeed, the believer’s ascent to the proximity of God. If one is immersed in personal considerations instead of seeking the meanings the Prophet felt during his Ascension, that person needs to make istighfar for such a light hearted attitude.

Secondly, as the Prayer signifies a (lofty spiritual) state in which requests from God are more likely to be accepted, supplications made right after the Prayers have a different value. Therefore, the Messenger of God recommended using this opportunity and asking forgiveness three times. In this respect, the five prescribed Prayers are important grounds and opportunities for seeking God’s forgiveness and protection from sins.

A Qur’anic verse points out an important segment of time for making istighfar: “They used to sleep but little by night (almost never missing the Tahajjud Prayer). And in the hour of early dawn (sahar), they would implore God’s forgiveness” (adh-Dhariyat 51:17–18). This verse expresses appreciation for the believers who get up during the final hours of the night and make istighfar, who open up to God imploringly, and who prostrate and nearly forget to rise back up from the prostration position; it announces this appreciation to all dwellers of heavens, spiritual beings, and to all believers. As certain praiseworthy qualities of believers are related by the Qur’an or the Prophet, others who do not yet have those desirable qualities are encouraged to acquire them. Therefore, it is extremely important to rise during the final hours of the night when others are sound asleep and offer servitude to God by two units of Tahajjud Prayer, at the least.

Also, there are times when the heart is softened, when one feels the weight of sins on the conscience and overflows with emotion… they must be taken as great opportunities for istighfar. We can call them times for breezes of proximity to God. Additionally, turning to God repentantly right after one commits a mistake or sin will mean taking the opportunity of “the first moment of realization that one has stepped into mistake and sin,” for such moments are among the time periods when istighfar is most acceptable. Sins resemble whirlpools and they pull the individual into them like an addiction. It is difficult to rid oneself of sins after a person is immersed in them. If somebody in such a situation does not give the willpower its due and make resolved efforts to be freed from swamp of evils, that sinner may begin to wish for the non-existence of the Divine commandments that forbid those evils, and this wish might lead to one’s ultimate spiritual downfall by losing faith completely. This has been the general pattern for those who fall. This is why it is so important to step back from sin immediately, fearing to come to a point of no return.

Let me conclude with one final point. Even though the times we mentioned above are important opportunities for istighfar, it is not necessary to allocate a special time for seeking God’s forgiveness and protection from sins; indeed, limiting istighfar to those segments of time is wrong. One can and should ask forgiveness from God at any time during night and day, taking every moment of life as an opportunity for it. Whenever possible, one can draw to a corner, sit on bent knees, or prostrate oneself, and turn to God repentantly and ask forgiveness. One can open up to God through istighfar while walking somewhere, driving, or waiting for someone; one should make use of every available moment in this respect. Death can come any time, and meeting death with lips mumbling istighfar is a very important means in terms of walking to the realms beyond in a purified state.

#allah #god #quran #ayat #muhammad #prophet #sunnah #hadith #revert #convert #religion #reminder #islam #muslim #muslimah #hijab #dua #salah #pray #prayer #welcome to islam #how to convert to islam #help #revert help team #revert help #convert help #islam help #muslim help #convert to islam #revert to islam

[softpeetabread]

University Life Part 12

I'm supposed to be writing two essays, but instead I wrote this. I actually wrote this early so I'm proud of that! Thank you for everyone that has supported this fic! It's developed a life of its own and I'm just writing as I go, but I promise it's going to get somewhere. I hope you enjoy!!

Disclaimer: The Hunger Games trilogy belongs to Suzanne Collins. I just use her characters as barbie dolls to play with and write stories about them.

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9] [Part 10] [Part 11] 

Also available on AO3. 

Katniss wondered if what she did—invited Peeta into her bed—was a good idea. It’s not like they were doing anything inappropriate and she trusted Peeta enough to not worry about him doing anything he shouldn’t. They both knew about boundaries, but the closer they got, the less she seemed to care about many things that made her feel uncomfortable. For one thing, she evaluated her past friendships with other guys, and she knew that there was a stark difference between them and the one she had with that boy that rested beside her. Somehow she couldn’t see herself doing the same thing with Gale or Finnick, but even then she had completely different reasons for that. She didn’t know Finnick the way she knew Peeta, but she knew Gale for a longer time than either of them on a personal level. As for time itself, she and Peeta had been in school together, but never actually talked or exchanged many words other than the occasional formality or in-class group assignments. Now, things were different. She hadn’t given it much thought until that morning when she received a text message from Gale. Sometimes, the tone of a message was lost because of how dry they sounded through written text, but she could read her messages in the sender’s voice, whether they were from Peeta, Gale, or Finnick. Peeta’s tone was always lighthearted and witty whereas Finnick’s was mischievous and joking. Gale’s was more serious and drier, even if they could play around at times.

[Gale]: Nice to see you found a new best friend.

What did he even mean by that? After Gale started dating Madge, Katniss felt left out. She could be on her own and not exactly mind, but she admitted she missed her friends spending time with her. Until Peeta came into her life, she did things by herself. It was only natural that she’d develop an attachment to him. As far as she knew, he wasn’t dating anyone, at least not since they became friends, and he hadn’t mentioned dating anyone during the months they’d spent together. She hadn’t questioned it, either, and she hoped to keep it that way.

She left Gale on read and decided that sleep was a much better option than texting so early in the morning and left her phone on the night stand, turning to look at a sleeping Peeta who had curled around her. It was cute to see him act so protectively, but he looked so innocent when he slept, younger and vulnerable. Well…at least now they couldn’t say they didn’t sleep with each other. Now she couldn’t be mad at Peeta’s comment he let slip during their interview. But not everyone could say they’d slept in the same bed with their best friend without having some sort of sexual contact, so at least she was proud they could respect each other and actually sleep.

Pushing back the curls that had gathered around his forehead, Katniss observed Peeta with a newly found lens. She hadn’t noticed how strong his jaw was and how smooth his skin looked, or how flushed his cheeks got as he rested. Even his pink lips looked softer and fuller… They always seemed to give her so many smiles that Katniss wondered if Peeta’s face ever hurt. When he made her laugh with absurd stories or blunt situations coated with swear words, Katniss could feel just how her cheeks ached and how her eyes burned with tears. Perhaps it happened to him as well because of how rosy his cheeks got and the way he tilted his head back when he laughed clearly indicated he was also enjoying what he said. Even when she said something that wasn’t meant to be funny, he found a way to either bring out its humor or simply let out a chuckle. Katniss knew she wasn’t the funniest person, but her dark sense of humor and sarcasm amused Peeta regardless. Maybe it was because he was always laughing that she couldn’t fully notice how supple his lips were when they weren’t smiling. She’d seen him annoyed and upset a couple of times, and being a human being, Peeta was capable of having a large range of emotions just like Katniss. However, more often than not he was a ray of sunshine and Katniss couldn’t describe the energy that radiated from him. She just knew it was infectious and if she was ever feeling upset or down before, she knew that Peeta would brighten up her mood, or at least comfort her so she could process her own emotions.

For the time being, as he slept, all Katniss could make out from looking at him was his relaxed expression. As she leaned into him, not only could she focus on his features better, but she could also feel the heat that came from his breath and hear the light snores that sounded adorable. Why had he agreed to stay with her? Not that she minded because she knew Peeta was willing to do just about anything for her. However, it was an impulsive thing for both of them. What he said, too, had her turning it over and over in her head.

“Always.”

The more she thought about it, the more lost she felt, but the option of asking him didn’t seem to be the best idea. What would be his explanation? ‘It’s because we’re best friends’? Somehow, that didn’t make sense. Maybe he would have done the same thing if Johanna or Finnick would have asked him, but it didn’t feel too plausible because they wouldn’t ask him to stay with them in their bed in the first place. She didn’t even really know exactly why she asked him to be there, either. All she knew was that she didn’t want him to leave. They had had such a great time together that being separated by sleeping in different rooms didn’t sit well with her. It made more sense they stay together through the night, too…

What was so different now than from any other night back in their apartments? She could easily invite him to stay for the night in her room, so why now of all the days? The sight-seeing, the dinner, the walk through the park were certainly different. They’d eaten together, but never had dinner like that. It felt more intimate and private, and she saw Peeta in a new light that she hadn’t noticed before. His eyes shone in a different light, his smile was brighter and more ecstatic, and even the way he carried himself felt more confident and shier at the same time. Had she behaved differently, too? Had he noticed anything new from her? Too many thoughts swirled in her head and made her world stop and spin before feeling like her mind blanked out. The answer was clear and foggy, and without an answer from Peeta, she couldn’t determine anything. Asking him directly, though…would be weird, wouldn’t it?

But then she remembered how he had leaned into her at the park and suddenly, those lips that curved up with joy and spoke words of gold gave her a newly found sense of appreciation. The impulsive that hit her the previous night made an appearance again and her mind lost control of her body as it did what it pleased with her. It pushed her to lean forward and gently press her lips upon his, timidly feeling the way his mouth felt against hers.

They were as soft as they looked. It was brief, and frankly Katniss wished she’d been bold enough to wake him so he would be aware of what she did, but there was the uncertainty of Peeta’s actual feelings. If anything, it would be her little secret. As she curled into him, she brought her fingers up to her lips, replaying in her mind the small peck she gave him and thinking about how it would feel if he would participate. Would he be gentle or impatient? Innocent or passionate? Timid or bold? Her imagination took her to places she hadn’t thought of before involving Peeta and she couldn’t help like she was committing some sort of sin. Everyone had visualized kissing their best friend, right? That was completely normal!

She wasn’t sure how long she stayed lost in thought, but at some point, she dozed off again until the moment her door opened. She sat up in defense only to find Effie on the other side of the door along with her uncle. The grimace on her face must have indicated to them that she didn’t appreciate being awakened so abruptly, but Effie looked concerned.

“Have you seen Peeta?”

The inevitable yawn that escaped her lips allowed her to look to the side, expecting for her friend to be there beside her. It wouldn’t make sense that Effie would ask her about Peeta if she hadn’t already seen him lying next to her.

“Have you tried his room?” Katniss asked with a bit of annoyance.

“I assumed he would be with you. His bed was neatly made…and you two came back so late we thought…”

“That he’d spent the night with me?” Filling in the words for their escort, Katniss raised an eyebrow at her. He had slept beside her, but she wouldn’t admit that to either adult in front of her. Peeta could have gone anywhere after waking up and at least he had the common sense to not wake her up. “Do you really need my uncle following you around?”

“I came just in case I did find him sleeping with you,” Haymitch answered, his tone a bit cutting, which Katniss thought didn’t fit him. He sounded too much like a father for her own liking.

“Well, he’s not here, so try somewhere else,” Katniss bit back. “And even if he was here, why would it be your business?”

“If who was here?”

Their attention shifted from Katniss to Peeta and for once, she wasn’t very pleased with that because she wanted to know Haymitch’s reasons for suddenly taking an interest in her life.

“Peeta! We have been looking all over the place for you!” Effie took her phone out, pressing buttons here and there as she spoke. “I have Caesar waiting for you to take his call. It’s about the contract.”

“Already? He said it wouldn’t be ready until a week from now,” Peeta said as he came into the room. “You have to see the roof, Katniss. It’s pretty amazing.”

“Maybe you can take me later, after you take care of that important call,” Katniss proposed with a lazy smile.

Winking at her, he turned to look at Effie before she handed him the cell phone. She guided him out of the room, but Katniss could hear Peeta’s voice as he walked along the hall to the living room. Only Haymitch remained in her room, but his gaze analyzed her. She glared back at him, challenging him with her eyes which were as cold and steely as his own.

“You’re not very good at lying, sweetheart,” Haymitch said. “Getting laid, though…play it safe.”

Katniss scoffed at him, tossing him a pillow with irritation and embarrassment. She shouldn’t have felt ashamed because nothing had happened between her and Peeta, but she still felt defensive as heat rushed to her face.

“We didn’t do anything!”

“Sure you didn’t. That’s why you’re so angry all of a sudden.”

“We’re just friends. Why is everyone assuming we have a relationship or sex?” She asked with frustration.

She ran a hand through her hair and looked away from her uncle and to her dismay, he closed the door behind him and took a seat at the edge of her bed.

“Your body language has a lot to do with it, for one thing,” Haymitch answered. “Nothing wrong with dating a friend. Just don’t lead each other on. That’s where problems start.”

“What do you mean?” Katniss felt confused with Haymitch’s cryptic messages for sentences. She had woken up just moments before and she didn’t need a conversation like this to greet her in the morning.

“He took you out to dinner, Katniss,” Haymitch pointed out.

“So? We always go out to eat together,” Katniss shrugged. “It’s normal for us.”

“He asked me for permission.”

“Because Effie told him to.”

“I think he would have asked me regardless of being instructed to do so. It’s not just that, though. You two are becoming public figures because of the paintings. You’re a hot topic and believe me, a picture of either of you is worth a lot right now. This city loves feeding on the new kids and the popular kids, especially the paparazzi. Guess which one you are.”

Katniss had crossed her arms and at first, averted her gaze to the wall instead of facing her uncle. Yet as he continued to speak, what he said started to dawn on her. “They took pictures of us from yesterday?”

“And it’s already on the news,” Haymitch nodded, a mocking smile pressed on his mouth. “How refreshing were the sprinklers?”

With a horrified expression and wide eyes, she stared at him, knowing fully well what he meant by that. “I thought the security guards were supposed to take care of us.”

“They were there to protect you, not keep you out of the public eye,” Haymitch said with a scowl. “You saw those reports from yesterday. Even if you say it isn’t true, to them, it’s more real than their ridiculously painted skin and hair. That’s why I’m saying if you know where you and Peeta stand, don’t lead him on. Those pictures of you will paint a different picture for him if he sees them. Might put a strain on your friendship. Or friction, depending on you.” He winked at her, but it lacked Peeta’s playfulness.

She tossed him another pillow with more force this time and she had the satisfaction of seeing it hit the right side of his face.

“Fine, I believe you. If you had gotten laid you wouldn’t be this grumpy, believe me.”

“Out!” Katniss shrieked, her face moments away from melting off of her skin from how much heat she felt. She armed herself with another pillow and stood up to push him off her bed.

She heard him laugh as he stood, avoiding her pillow by ducking out of the way. He took something out of his pocket and left it on her desk before walking out. “Don’t rock his world too hard, sweetheart!”

The door closed before another pillow could hit him, but the lasting effect stayed with her. She looked at what he left for her only to gape in disbelief at the packets of condoms, not believing that her uncle would think such things from her. There was a moment of hesitation before she reached for them, inspecting the foil packets with disgust. This wasn’t happening; her private life could not become the public’s business. Unfortunately, she couldn’t deny that her uncle had a point. If the news got that crazy over an interview, who was to say they wouldn’t do the same to pictures of her and Peeta on a supposed date?

The knock on her door surprised her, making her drop the packets in a moment of panic. Collecting them frantically, she felt like she was trying to hide a clandestine object, but she didn’t want the person behind the door to see them, much less know she had them. “Wait!” Gathering them was like trying to put together her wits, but as soon as she had them all in her hand and shoved them underneath her pillow, she yelled out the okay to come inside. If it was Effie, she did not want the awkward conversation she had had with her uncle to get repeated. She wasn’t sure if she felt relief or anxiety when she saw Peeta come through the door, but at least he wouldn’t hound her about anything that alluded to them having sex.

“I heard you yell. Are you alright?”

“Relatively speaking.” In reality, she had been shaken to her core with the assumptions that she and her friend had a relationship that included more than just innocent touching, and they were both to blame for the way they acted around each other.

The sight of pillows on the floor caught Peeta’s attention, but deciding against asking her, he simply went to pick them up. Even though he never mentioned it, Katniss knew how much a mess bothered Peeta. He stress-cleaned, but seeing anything out of place caused the stress, and by cleaning it up he felt better instantly. It amused Katniss that his desire to have things in order was expressed through organizing things himself. Watching him prompted her to pick up the rest of the pillows she had thrown and put them aside to make her bed. Unfortunately, by doing so and by having Peeta’s help, he moved the pillows from the bed, including the one that she so desperately hoped would not get moved so as to cover the damn rubber packets that felt like they had neon signs on them.

“What’s this?” he asked.

On instinct, Katniss jumped onto the bed and reached for them, taking them in her hands and pressing them to her chest. “They’re for me to know and for you to never find out.”

“Oh, really?” Peeta asked, scooping the blankets into his arms before placing them on the desk chair. “Are they that special?”

“’Special’ isn’t exactly the right word,” she drawled out as she rolled her eyes.

“Then, why are you holding them like your life depends on them?” He poked her stomach and chuckled when he saw her jump, but her grasp on the small packets wouldn’t budge.

“I wouldn’t say they’re that important. It’s more…complicated than that,” she sighed.

“Oh, I think they matter some to you, what with you not wanting me to see them and all,” Peeta pointed out. “You missed one, though, or rather, it missed you.” He reached for the packet that rested on the floor and brought it up, reading the label on it with curiosity. “Where did you get these?”

“I didn’t get them!” Katniss countered. “They were given to me!”

“By who? They look fancy.”

“They are not fancy! They are repulsive!” Katniss was sure her face was flushed and it was getting a kick out of Peeta who couldn’t help holding back a laugh. “Remember how…there were these girls giving things out in school? Well, they gave some to me. I forgot to throw them out.”

Peeta raised an eyebrow at her, taking a long look at her before turning back to the packets. “And you say I’m bad at lying,” he mused. “It’s okay to have these. You’re an adult, Katniss. Having sex is normal.”

“You say that like you’ve done it yourself,” Katniss said as she leaned on her elbow to look at him.

“Well…maybe I have.” It was Peeta’s turn to look away, and it was one of the only times Katniss had seen him shy away from something. She didn’t want to press the subject in fear of making him uncomfortable, but she couldn’t deny that she wanted to know more.

She sat up to give him her full attention and set the condoms on the bed beside her. “Did…you enjoy it?”

“I kind of did…kind of felt a bit rushed.”

“Do you mind me asking with who?”

“Um…during my first semester with my then-girlfriend.” As he spoke, he rubbed the back of his neck, something he did when he wanted to ease tension he felt.

“Oh,” Katniss gulped, clearing her throat as she tried to keep the conversation from becoming even more awkward. However, her curiosity couldn’t understand that she had to leave the subject alone. “Why have you never told me about this girlfriend?”

“I broke up with her some time before you and I became friends. She wasn’t the most…faithful partner.”

Hearing the words and processing them were two completely different things and Katniss had a hard time doing the latter. Processing required rationality, but after what Peeta told her, nothing made sense. There were so many things that she wanted to say, but it would have sounded like an incomprehensible pile of word vomit and her lack of composure must have been evident in how she stared at him in disbelief. There was no way in the world that someone as sweet and kind as Peeta could have something so unjust happen to him. Nobody deserved it, but the least likely person to go through that in Katniss’s mind would be the boy sitting beside her. There was something else besides the disbelief, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Rage? Fury? She hadn’t heard about this girl, but she already hated her entire existence just for the mere act of putting Peeta in such a difficult situation.

Her mouth felt drier than a desert, but she couldn’t just stay quiet, not after what she heard—and processed—what Peeta told her. “I will kick her ass if I find out who she is.”

“You and Jo both.” A shy smile graced Peeta’s lips. “Don’t worry about it. I think she transferred out of UD12 and went back to UD1.”

“I will go to UD1 specifically to hunt her down. And you know how good of a hunter I am.”

“I know,” Peeta said. “I’m sure you’d terrify her.”

Katniss crawled towards him and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face on the crook of his neck. “I’m sorry I brought it up. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“I would have told you at some point.” She felt Peeta’s hand caress her hair gently, but she wondered if he did it more for his sake than for hers. “What about you? Had a first time before?”

She stiffened impulsively at the question. “Nope. And every time Darius wanted to, I’d shut him down quickly.”

“Well deserved.” She could only imagine the smirk on Peeta’s face as he said that. Truth-be-told, she couldn’t blame him.

“Wanna keep these in your back pocket?” Katniss asked as she let go of Peeta and reached for the foil packets, this time lacking the embarrassment from before. “You never know when you’ll need them,” she said with a wink.

“Keep some for yourself, too. They may come in handy in case you ever decide it’s time.” Now, she could see his smirk and it was both glorious and the most mischievous grin she’d ever seen. Had Finnick taught him to smile like that?

“Oh, hush. Are you going to show me the roof or are we just going to keep talking about sex?”

“I mean, I could keep going, but that’s really all up to you, sweetheart.”

Before she could even think about it, she got up and tossed him a pillow in response.

I didn't really want to bring up these topics so soon, but they kind of came out on their own and I had to use them. Hopefully, you guys enjoy it and I also hope it doesn't sound like it's out of place! I wasn't sure if the topic of condoms and sex talk were considered nsfw so I won't be moving up the rating since there are no actual sex scenes to go with the talk and all... Let me know what you think!

#everlark #everlark fanfiction #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #the hunger game #fanfiction #fran writes #university life #i literally either write an entire piece in one sitting or i write nothing at all #there is no in between and that's bad #anyways here is more for my fic and i am so happy

[ruminativerabbi]

When “Sorry” Isn’t Enough

Like all of us, I suppose, I was surprised and more than just slightly taken aback by the revelation that the sitting governor of Virginia, a man known for his liberality and his commitment to civil rights, once placed a photograph of someone in blackface and someone else dressed up in a Ku Klux Klan outfit on his page in the Eastern Virginia Medical School yearbook of 1984. Was either person in the photograph himself? He’s been oddly equivocal in answering what is in essence a simple enough question, but it hardly matters at this point—the bottom line was that he himself chose to place that picture on that page, which means that he either thought at the time that the photograph was funny enough to warrant permanent memorialization in that space or, even more disconcertingly, that it was in some way suggestive enough of who he was and/or what he stood for to make it reasonable for people looking back years later to remember him by looking at it.  As many have lately noted, it was a long time ago. But not that long! (The 1680s were a long time ago. The 1980s, not so much.) But the question isn’t really how long ago 1984 was, but whether the man who chose to adorn his yearbook page with racist images should be the governor of an American state now in the present, not in the distant or not so distant past. And another question asks itself as well: what kind of school would permit such pictures to be published in its yearbook in the first place? (Or is that one of those questions that is its own answer?)

But the focus in these last days has rightly been on the governor, not the school. Oddly, that confuses rather than clarifies the issue…because Ralph Northam has been a strong supporter of civil rights for all of his years in public service. So his non-racist bona fides—Northam left the field of pediatric neurology to become a United States senator in 2008—are not the issue at all. The question, therefore, is whether the past should outbalance the present…and whether apologizing for past errors of judgment should be enough to earn the right to move forward unencumbered by one’s own youthful stupidity.

The governor issued a statement in which he described the photograph as both “clearly racist and offensive.” And then he went on to apologize. “I am deeply sorry,” he said, “for the decision I made to appear as I did in this photo and for the hurt that decision caused then and now. This behavior is not in keeping with who I am today and the values I have fought for throughout my career in the military, in medicine, and in public service…The first step is to offer my sincerest apology and to state my absolute commitment to living up to the expectations Virginians set for me when they elected me to be their Governor.”

That certainly sounds like a sincere effort to own up to what even his most ardent supporter would surely characterize as an error of judgment of monumental proportions. But is saying you’re sorry enough? Can you undo the past with mere words? Can regret in the present outweigh tasteless vulgarity in the past? Those are the issues I’d like to write about today.

At the heart of the matter is a fundamental philosophical question relating to the way the past relates to the present. Trees grow over the course of decades and their trunks become broader and thicker as the former outer layer of wood becomes one of the tree trunk’s inner growth rings and is superseded by a new outer layer. So, at least with trees, it’s all in there somewhere: the outermost layer of wood becomes interiorized as the past retains its physical presence within the ongoing tree. But is the same true of people? Is the eleven-year-old me in there somewhere? It’s hard to say. It feels as though he must be—where else could he be?—and yet the tree model doesn’t feel quite right: boy-me hardly lives within man-me in the same way that a tree’s inner rings are physically present within its trunk as living testimony to its past. Boy-me is more in there somehow than somewhere.

Nor is this mere philosophical musing: our entire criminal justice system rests on the principle that we bear responsibility for our own past acts because we are not ethereal projections or reconceptualizations of the people we were in the past but actually are those same people. And that, in turn, leads me to the pertinent question worth asking with respect to the governor’s racist tastelessness as a young man: since the deed cannot be undone but apparently does not rise to the level of criminal activity for which he could tried in a court of law, then what exactly should he do to address the issue? To that question, the chorus of responses has been varied and, each in its own way (I believe), off-mark. Giving him a pass merely because he doesn’t have a time machine and can’t return to 1985 to re-edit his yearbook page sounds idiotic to me. But maintaining that precisely because he can’t undo the past he should now withdraw into premature retirement and spend the rest of his days ruing a huge error of judgment from a quarter-century ago sounds not only excessive, but also profoundly counterproductive.

One of the features of our intellectual life at Shelter Rock is my annual series of lessons, undertaken every August and lasting through the High Holiday season, devoted to the section of Maimonides’ great law code, the Mishneh Torah, devoted to the law of t’shuvah. The Hebrew word, t’shuvah, is regularly translated as “repentance,” but the English words sounds to me like a slightly more august version of regret whereas t’shuvah involves constructively using some amalgam of remorse, shame, and guilt as a platform upon which to stand not while attempting to travel from the present into the past (which is impossible, see above) but while attempting to move meaningfully from the present into the future.

The text is rich and satisfying—challenging in some ways, but bracing in others and always inspiring. When considered alongside the book I think of as its companion volume, the Ḥibbur Ha-t’shuvah (“The Book of T’shuvah”) by Rabbi Menaḥem ben Solomon Meiri (1249-1306)—an understudied and underestimated work that I come to esteem even more highly each time I open it—a path opens up for poor Governor Northam to consider as a way forward out of his self-inflicted predicament.

In our tradition, the past cannot be undone but it can be addressed profoundly and meaningfully. The first step is always a public confession: t’shuvah cannot be done in private, let alone in secret. If the misdeed under consideration involved harm to another person, then you have to beg that person’s pardon in person and out loud. If the person is no longer alive, then you must gather a minyan by the side of his or her grave and there confess your sin and pledge to become a finer person in the future who has learned from the error in judgment that led to the event being repented. In every case, the viddui (that is, the public confession of wrongdoing) is an essential element in the larger process.

And then, having stepped into the world, you need to step out of it and demonstrate your resolve to grow into a finer iteration of yourself through a regimen of prayer, fasting, and self-denial. Jews, of course, have Yom Kippur as our national day devoted to doing exactly those things: fasting, engaging in various forms of self-denial, spending the day immersed in contemplative communal prayer. Rambam—as Maimonides is familiarly called even in scholarly circles—goes into all of this in great detail. And then, finally, he says this about the individual seeking to do t’shuvah for a specific misdeed: “Such a person,” he writes, “must be humble of demeanor and modest. If boors mock such a person by referencing the deed for which that person has repented by saying ‘you once did such-and-such a thing’ or ‘you once spoke in such-and-such a way,’ then the person who has done t’shuvah honestly will not respond in anger, but rather should listen carefully and take pleasure in their insults—because such taunts will lead to becoming even more ashamed of the past behavior in question and more filled with remorse, and that experience will not be degrading but elevating….”

And that is what I think Governor Northam should do. He seems to be a good man in many ways, but one who made a terrible mistake as a young man that now, all these years later, has hurt many people who must now wonder if they can trust him at all. There is a way forward and, speaking as a rabbi, I recommend our Jewish path of principled t’shuvah coupled with a public commitment to grow through this scandal into a finer version of himself, one even more devoted to the pursuit of civil rights for all than he has been in the past. A bit of public prayer probably wouldn’t hurt either.

And one more detail too, also from Rambam: “Once people have done t’shuvah for some specific misdeeds, it becomes absolutely forbidden to humiliate them by reminding them of their former misdeeds…and doing so is to break the commandment of the Torah that forbids individuals from oppressing each other unduly.”

Can this rule to applied to this last week’s other politician-apologizer, Representative Ilhan Omer (D- Minnesota), who seems so far to have made her mark on Congress solely by sending out anti-Semitic tweets and then apologizing for them? That will have to be the topic of a different letter!

#Ralph Northam #Teshuvah #Ilhan Omer #Maimonides

[madewithonerib]

Jeremiah 44:16-19 | The Stubbornness of the People

        ¹⁶ “As for the word you spoke to us in the             name of the LORD, we will not listen to you!

        ¹⁷ Instead, we will do everything we vowed to do:

            We will burn incense to the Queen of Heaven &             offer drink offerings to her, just as we, our fathers,             our kings, & our officials did in the cities of Judah             & in the streets of Jerusalem.

            At that time we had plenty of food & good things,             & we saw no disaster.

        ¹⁸ But from the time we stopped burning incense             to the Queen of Heaven & pouring out drink             offerings to her, we have lacked everything &             have been perishing by sword & famine.”

        ¹⁹ “Moreover,” said the women, “when we burned             incense to the Queen of Heaven & poured out             drink offerings to her, was it without our husbands’             knowledge that we made sacrificial cakes in her             image & poured out drink offerings to her?”

Joseph Benson, Methodist [1749–1821] | Jeremiah 44:16-19

    As for the word YOU have spoken unto us, we will not     hearken unto thee—Johanan & the rest [Jeremiah 43:5]     only denied that GOD had said such things,

    & told Jeremiah he had spoken falsely:

        but now these people rise higher;         they acknowledge Jeremiah had spoken         to them in the name of the LORD,

        but, nevertheless, tell him in plain terms         they would not obey his word, &         indeed this is in the hearts of all sinners         that are ruled by their lusts;

    though they will sometimes pretend that what they hear     is not the will of GOD, but spoken out of malice & prejudice;

    yet they are pre-resolved they will not comply with it,     let their understandings be never so well informed.

    But will certainly do whatsoever thing goes out     of our own mouth—That is, that which we have     solemnly vowed to perform.

    Here we have the root of all the disobedience of sinners,     their resolution to please themselves, &     do their own will, & not in any thing to deny themselves.

2.]  To burn incense to the queen of heaven—To the moon       & the rest of the host of heaven:

      [see the note on Jeremiah 7:18; & Jeremiah 19:13]

3.]  As we have done, we & our fathers, &c—Their       arguments for continuing in this idolatry are, 1st,       custom & antiquity; they & their fathers had practiced it.

2d] The example of their kings & princes.

3d] The plenty & prosperity they had while they did so,       as if their idols & not YHWH had been the authors of it.

      They compared their former condition, before the       invasion of Judea & the siege of Jerusalem, with       their present state, & argued from their being in       prosperity at that time,

            that they must needs have             been then in the right;

        not considering that it was to be ascribed to         the goodness & long-suffering of GOD         waiting for their repentance,

        as being unwilling to destroy them, or even         to bring any great calamity upon them.

      Besides, though on account of the measure of their       iniquity being filled up, they now suffered more       grievous calamities than they had ever done before,

      yet, if they were at all acquainted with the history of       former times, they could not but know that idolatry       had always brought calamities on their fathers,       & that they never were so prosperous as when they       worshipped & served YHWH only.

But since we left off, &c., we have wanted all things—This is their last argument in defence of their idolatry, an argument drawn from the evils that had befallen them since they had left off to worship the host of heaven; thus making their ceasing to commit the sin of idolatry the cause of their sufferings, whereas, in truth, the commission of that & their other sins had been the cause of all the calamities to which they had been exposed.

And when we burned incense, &c., did we worship her without our men?—Here the women speak, & allege that their husbands had joined with them in offering incense to the host of heaven, & that it was not done without their privity.

“By the law of Moses the men had an independent power of binding themselves by any religious vow or obligation; but the vows of the women were not binding, without the knowledge & consent of their fathers & husbands; but if the father or husband knew of the vow, & did not signify his dissent at the time, his consent was presumed, & the vow stood firm & irrevocable, Numbers 30:1-16.

This appeal, therefore, to the concurrence of their men must be considered as coming from the female part of the assembly only, who thereby appear to declare that since they were thus authorized by those who alone had a legal right to control them, they should not submit to any other restraint upon their inclinations.”—Blaney.

Matthew Henry, Nonconformist [1662-1714] | Jeremiah 44:15-19

These daring sinners do not attempt excuses, but declare they will do that which is forbidden.

Those who disobey GOD, commonly grow worse & worse, & the heart is more hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

Here is the real language of the rebellious heart.

Even the afflictions which should have parted them from their sins, were taken so as to confirm them in their sins.

It is sad when those who should quicken each other to what is good, & so help one another to heaven, harden each other in sin, & so ripen one another for hell.

To mingle idolatry with Divine worship, & to reject the mediation of CHRIST, are provoking to GOD, & ruinous to men.

All who worship images, or honour saints, & angels, & the queen of heaven, should recollect what came from the idolatrous practices of the Jews.

Albert Barnes, American Theologian [1798-1870] | Jeremiah 44:16

Had burned incence—Omit "had;" burned incense.

This appeal of the prophet was made at a public festival held somewhere in Pathros, i.

e., Upper Egypt: for the women are assembled in a great congregation [compare Jeremiah 26:9], here formed for religious purposes.

As they advance in regular procession to worship the moon-goddess, in accordance as it seems with a vow Jeremiah 44:17, Jeremiah meets them, makes the procession halt upon its way, & pronounces in Yahweh's name words of solemn warning.

The reply that all the settlers in Egypt were formally putting themselves under the Queen of heaven's protection was made by the heads of the congregation. Jamieson-Fausset-Brown BIBLE Commentary 16.

we will not—[Jeremiah 6:16]

Matthew Poole, Nonconformist [1624-1679] | Jeremiah 44:16

We read, Jeremiah 43:5, Johanan & the rest only denied that GOD had spoken such things, & told Jeremiah he had spoken falsely; but now these women & men rise higher, they acknowledge Jeremiah had spoken to them in the name of the LORD, but tell him in plain & direct terms they would not obey it.

And indeed this is in the hearts of all sinners that are ruled by their lusts; though they will sometimes pretend that what they hear is not the will of GOD, but spoken out of malice & prejudice, yet they are pre-resolved they will not do it, let their understandings be never so well informed.

John Gill, Baptist & Calvinist [1697-1771] | Jeremiah 44:16

As for the word that YOU has, spoken unto us in the name of the LORD—Which they did not believe that it came from the LORD, but was a device of the prophet's, & a lie, as in Jeremiah 43:2; & if it did come from the LORD, their impudence was risen to such a pitch, that they were determined not to regard it: we will not hearken unto thee: to YOUR words; neither to YOUR exhortations, reproofs, or menaces, even though YOU comest & speakest in the name of the LORD.

This, & what follows, is an unparalleled instance of the pride, obstinacy, enmity, & rebellion of the carnal mind against GOD.

Geneva Study BIBLE, ‎Protestant Affiliation [1557-1560] | Jeremiah 44:16

As for the word that YOU have spoken to us in the name of the LORD, we will {h} not hearken to thee. [h] This declares how dangerous a thing it is to decline once from GOD & to follow our own fantasies: for Satan ever solicits such & does not leave them till he has brought them to extreme impudency & madness, even to justify their wickedness against GOD & his prophets.