All the sci-fi’s said that rampant capitalism was supposed to turn us all into overweight foul-mouthed bloodthirsty hedonistic monsters as large corporations sell to our base urges, but instead it’s resulted in the total sanitation of any and all online spaces as large corporations gouge out their individuality to try to sell our attention to advertisers
I can accept apple music copying you and the next logical step being other consumed media:
And don't worry we're not forgetting you, Nintendo:
But really, come on:
I can tell you the entire "review", I didn't buy anything online from you, because I setup the account to buy a Christmas present last year and haven't used it since. Fuck off.
makeup stores on coruscant have to be the size of an american outlet mall or something. the amount of species it has to offer product to is like. just the tip of the iceberg. beyond that it has to offer every sort of product every species needs ('skin' (or similar) care, 'hair' (or whatever) products, shadows and mascaras, perfumes, etc), it also has to have a variety within the products (like how humans need stuff for oily skin, stuff for dry skin, stuff for 'average skin') AND a variety of shades and tones within each variety (red foundations and pink foundations and mauve concealers and chartruese correctors). NOT TO MENTION ALL OF THE BRANDS.
you think a trip to your local makeup store takes forever? imagine going with your twi'lek, togruta, mikkian, etc girlfriends. you all need SUCH different products. it'd be a fucking DAY TRIP just to get EYESHADOW AND FOUNDATION.
The first chapter will be posted Sunday, 13 August 2023.
Borne of our actual hatred of business development and networking events, @rmd-writes and I have created (Un)professional Services: 6 chapters and 60,000 words of corporate-Tarlos chaos, to be posted over 6 weeks.
This project was the result of many many hours of no one telling us "no", including each other, and the answer to everything being "yes, and then what if...":
There are hot people at networking events?
We make Owen the most chaotic he’s ever been?
Gwyn lives and roasts TK at every opportunity?
Carlos spirals like a zoodle?
TK has to endure seeing Carlos in a suit all the time?
A law firm makes corporate branded condoms?
Fire safety training is an ongoing and slightly unexplained theme?
Stay tuned to find out the answer to some of these and more.
A thousand forehead kisses and fruit baskets for @celeritas2997 for letting us derail the gc over this so many times and for beta reading!
Summary below just because we like to tease:
TK Strand has been an attorney long enough to know that networking events with accounting firms offer little more than terrible wine that he doesn’t drink, uninspiring small talk and a stack of identical-looking business cards.
Until he takes Nancy up on a bet and winds up having all of his preconceived ideas about business development being challenged by an accountant who is very far from boring.
The Tarlos Professional Services AU.
and that's because I don't think the movie was even trying that hard to be a critique of capitalism in the first place, it was a critique of gender based class systems, systemic ageism, and the rigid boxes that boys and girls are put in instead
so yes of course it failed hard at the message it was not really trying to send
trying to hold it together but… just read about Nex Benedict (may their memory be a blessing) who was a Native non-binary teen murdered in their high school bathroom in Oklahoma.
thinking of Akira Ross, a Black queer woman murdered in Texas, less than an hour from me.
thinking of all the queer & trans young people in the south who die at the hands of bigots.
just feeling really fucking sad and sick to my stomach.
i’m so unbelievably fucking frustrated that something as cool and groundbreaking as AI (which i literally went back to college to study!!!) is being used for such fucking nefarious purposes
i always dreamed of finding the spirit in the machine and now it’s just being bastardized to take away jobs from hardworking creators — mostly by arrogant techbro fucknuts who sneer at these creators for pursuing art, but then tell on themselves for not having the discipline to truly learn a craft
This may be a controversial opinion, but fuck it. If you are going hungry and think you can get away with it, then steal food from large corporations like Walmart.
Don't feel bad about it either.
These large corporations will whine and moan about how much they lose to shoplifting and that they are losing X amount of money from theft and that they may go out of business, but what they don't want to say in the same sentence is how much they make in profits because they know that if they do then everyone will realize the amount of bullshit coming out of their mouths. These corporations may lose $600 million a year from theft, but they make a little over $147.5 billion a year. (These numbers come from the Walmart statistics from the last year alone) To put that into perspective. Their total profits in one year alone is 24.5 MILLION percent more than what they lost. So for every $1 lost that $24.5 million in the bank.
Keep in mind these are the same corporations that regularly overwork and underpay abused (and more often than not underaged) employees. Also know that these employees are usually told by lower management that if they see someone stealing food or items under $20 to just act like they didn’t see it. Now this is only true for places like Walmart. Ffs DON’T steal from target unless you are god level sneaky because they are on top of that shit.
So if you need it, then do it. If you are starving and need food, if you are cold and need a jacket, then don’t feel bad about doing what you need to do in order to survive. Just don’t get caught. And DON’T steal from small businesses.
Always keep in mind that small business owners are often in the same boat as you and are just trying to make it just like you are. They can’t always afford to lose revenue while large companies can.
Also here are some tips from someone who grew up lower/middle class and has always needed to steal to survive:
Never bring an ID or anything that can ID you.
Always keep some cash on you for credible deniability. “No I wasn’t going to steal see I have the money right here!” If you play your cards right and keep your cool then you can usually talk your way out of any situation.
If you can always purchase something while you’re there to avoid suspicion PAY IN CASH IN CASE YOU ARE CAUGHT STEALING ON CAMERA
Wear large clothes with lots of big pockets aka go to the men’s section and get a hoodie and some sweats at least 2 sizes too big. (Tho I’ve personally found 3 is the magic number just make sure for the pants that you can tighten the waist somehow so they stay on) You’ll need the pockets to put the stuff in and the bagginess of the clothes will hide anything you put inside. Make sure the clothes are dark so they don’t stand out and so it hides the shadows of the items better.
Stashing in your pockets can also be used as credible deniability if you don’t use a cart or basket. “I wasn’t intending on getting so many things I just came in for a few items so I didn’t think I needed a cart or basket but then I ran out of hands so I put them in my pockets.”
Always try to make sure no one is around when you stash the items but DON’T make it obvious. Check your surroundings before you even reach for the item.
If it’s small and it’s in a shelf, pretend to look at it (maybe even act like you’re gonna get it), shrug like you rethought it decided not the get it, reach your hand back into the shelf like you’re putting it down, slip it up your sleeve, walk away, put your hands into your pockets, and slip it into your pocket.
Use self check out if you can. If you can’t smile and be pleasant to the cashier. If you’re nice and they notice they probably won’t say anything.
Remember that the most important thing when stealing is to ACT NORMAL. 90% of getting away with it is to not even be considered in the first place. If you take something from an isle don’t immediately leave the isle. Go to another part of the isle and act like your contemplating buying something else. Treat this like a normal grocery run. You have nothing to hide so there’s no need to rush. Maybe even exchange a few pleasant greetings if you’re in a line.
And for the love of whatever cruel god is out there, do NOT steal every single thing you touch. Pick some things up and put ‘em back or buy them if you can.
oh yeah and if you see someone stealing no you don't. you have no clue what that person is going through so mind your own business.
Staying, For A Moment (Or Perhaps A Little Longer)
Read On AO3
Summary:
Quirrel does not particularly want to be in this hot spring. He doesn't particularly want to be anywhere, as exhausted as he is.
There is, however, something he needs to attend to. An injustice, a hurt, he desperately wants to soothe.
He didn't mean to react the way he did. He is, evidently, far from the first. This cannot stand.
Warnings:
set during and after the Blue Lake meeting, so, Suicidal Thoughts, also, Unconventional Self-Image Issues, (this time from Ghost)
Characters:
Quirrel, The Knight
Little one-off fic. Technically set prior to Drained of Light, but can stand alone just fine. Unedited, whipped out in about 3 hours.
Quirrel, exhausted, inadvertently stirs up a hurt he hadn't noticed before, and tries to help. Ghost, half-feral, tries to keep a friend alive, and is met with something they never would have expected.
They're both a mess, in almost entirely different ways. It's great.
All you “you don’t get to take a break from the horrors” people out there, what good do you think insisting everyone stare helplessly at the slow march into entropy will do to help your case? I know some people don’t get to take a break from the horrors they’re actively living through but why do you think that gives you the moral credence to decide that no one gets to look away?
Does anyone know that one post that’s like “Aristotle was cool and all but I literally could have thought of that if I was also the 4th person alive” ?
I keep thinking about that red dwarf quote "As the days go by, we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless, uninhabited, hostile and meaningless universe... Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you?" because that's literally it, isn't it?