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scarlet--wiccan · 3 years

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your ideal billy/teddy duo comic (plot, character designs, artists and writers involved etc)

One thing that I've always wanted to see is a comic about Billy and/or Teddy that was produced entirely by mlm creators. Vecchio, Robles and Gracia are all gay artists who've worked with the characters on recent titles, and I'm eager to see more from them. While none of these artists have ever shown the characters in a way that exactly suits my wants, they've each demonstrated a clear personal vision of who Billy and Teddy are that I can respect. I find that Vecchio and Robles, as illustrators, both articulate a gay sensibility in their designs and are able to represent a range of gay identities and expressions with not only dignity, but real love, which is frustratingly hard to come by. Oh, also, Kevin Wada covers, because duh.

Writers are a little bit more difficult for me. I love Anthony Oliviera and I know that he's got a lot of ideas for the characters, so I'd be delighted to see anything that he might pitch. Vecchio also does write, and his creator-owned series, Sereno, is an urban superhero story in a modern fantasy setting-- something he describes as Batman Beyond meets Sailor Moon. Based on that, I think he'd do a great job telling a story about a witch and shapeshifter from New York. I know that Sina doesn't work for Marvel anymore, but I've always wished he could've done Billy and Teddy in a sweet little rom-com miniseries, or even just a single issue special. He's particularly good at writing tender, funny, and just unapologetically gay characters who signal authentic elements of our culture and community without making them cheap or laughable. That is a quality which I find essential for Billy and Teddy, and it's part of why I want more mlm creators to work with them.

If you had asked me this question last year, I would have had an easier time pitching ideas for these characters. I'm eager to see what the future holds for them, but "rulers of an interplanetary nation" was never part of my vision for how Billy and Teddy would be spending their early twenties. I did have this idea for an ongoing series about their "college years", wherein Billy would be studying magic with Wanda and Agatha, and Teddy would work part time with Carol or Alpha Flight while attending community college or learning a trade, like piercing or tattoo artistry. The idea was that they'd often spend time apart, as they'd each be focusing on their own careers and having individual storylines, but they'd always come home to each other at the end of the day and lend each other support, in ways both mundane and super-heroic.

I used to imagine that they'd stay in that nice apartment Sunspot got them, which would act as sort of a crash pad/base of operations for a revolving cast of their friends. They could convert one of the rooms into a magical sanctum for Billy, and another into a study room or art studio for Teddy. Tommy, America, Kate, or whoever could crash on their sofa whenever they're in town or need to do a team-up. Wanda could help Billy ward the apartment so that he and America are the only ones who can portal in and out, but then Loki would find a way to get around the wards and cause trouble, and there'd be a whole dramatic reunion. The whole idea could easily be adapted as a Young Avengers ongoing if you widened the focus from the main couple and treated it as an ensemble piece with individually chunked plot-arcs, much like the original series.

Unfortunately, that idea no longer holds as much water as I'd like because, for one thing, they lost that apartment and never explained why-- it seems like it was passively retconned out in between New Avengers and Death's Head. More importantly, they now live in space, with Teddy being a busy ruler of an interstellar Alliance, and Billy his prince-consort.

I would still like to explore the idea of them pursuing separate goals and working in separate fields while never being truly apart. Empyre introduced a clever plot device wherein Billy is now able to sense Teddy's location and teleport to him instantly, no matter the distance, which, I assume, works in reverse as well. This feat of magic is made possible by their marriage, which binds them symbolically and draws on the power of their love. They can go anywhere and do anything on their own, and still be together again at a moments' notice, which is super romantic and also affords them more flexibility than most superhero couples. I would still pitch a series about Billy doing magic work on Earth while Teddy does diplomacy in space, and one can always warp to the other when they need backup fighting a bad guy. They could even switch back and forth between staying on Teddy's throne-ship, and getting cozy at Billy's little Manhattan apartment when they want to get away from it all.

I guess my final answer is that I want the two of them to be fully realized, individual characters whose love is illustrated through mutual support rather than, like, being glued to each other's hips. The things that I want to see Billy doing are very far removed from the things that I want to see Teddy doing. Superhero characters tend to lose momentum when you marry them off, and superhero couples tend to fizzle when you keep them apart, but Billy and Teddy's unique strength is that they're never truly apart, and their relationship never seems to lose steam-- they've been a pair from the start, and... they're a little obsessed with each other.

The Billy story that I most want to see right now is a full Maximoff team-up. It could go in one of two directions: A) a quest to uncover Natalya's history and finally vanquish the Emerald Warlock, in which they're waylaid by Doom and other magic villains from their past, while teaming up with their magical friends around the world-- basically a sequel to Scarlet Witch; or, B) a showdown with Krakoa and a resolution of their relationship with Erik, which, best case scenario, partially reverses the Axis retcon and proves once and for all that the Maximoffs are mutants. If we got a longer series, we could actually do both plots-- they learn something about Natalya which leads them back to Erik, and the two arcs become a larger story.

The Teddy story that I most want to see is a Guardians-esque space romp with political elements featuring Teddy, Xavin and Noh-Varr as, like, a sexy-alien-boys version of the Gullwings from Final Fantasy X. Does that make sense? I don't have a great grasp on the political landscape of Marvel Space so it's a little hard for me to come up with details, but I know that the status quo has been totally upended, so there are going to be different factions and movements springing up, and likely no shortage of villains and space monsters rearing their heads when the dust of the war has fully settled. Teddy's a monarch now, but he's also been set up as this Arthurian hero-king, so I think there's still room for him to go on adventures and fight his own battles with his magic sword and, maybe, a crew of loyal space knights.

Having said aaaallll of that, I would absolutely die for a full-on fantasy adventure story with Billy and Teddy. I mean, Teddy's a king with a magic sword and his husband is a super-powerful witch. It's gotta happen. I'd actually be into them having a rematch with Mother, who is a pretty adaptable villain, in that her abilities and motives will differ depending on how she's been summoned. I'd also really like them to have a chance to go up against Sequoia directly, and on more even grounds. Quoi is such a great enemy for them because they represent the same generation of Avengers babies, and, actually, Quoi's origins are directly tied to Billy's-- their respective parents had a double wedding together. Sequoia and Teddy's arcs in Empyre paralleled and contrasted each other beautifully, but the two characters had no meaningful interactions. I want to see thems as arch rivals, and maybe, begrudgingly.... friends? Plus, I love that they're both alien princes who live in sci-fi stories, but whose aesthetics and powers are pure fantasy-- Quoi's a dryad wizard and Teddy is King Arthur, if King Arthur was a gay anthropomorphic dragon.

Anyways, that's my Wiccan+Hulkling pitch. The first arc is Billy and Teddy facing off against Sequoia in a magic forest that he's grown on his new planet, only to find out that they've been set up by Mother.

In the second arc, the three of them grudgingly team up against Mother while hashing out their shared backstories and giving Quoi, who's literally never had peers to relate to, a chance to fully come to grips with the way he was conditioned and manipulated by his father. Instead of conjuring dead parents, Mother seems to be able to summon dead children, which makes her particularly dangerous around the Cotati, Kree and Skrull, who've just emerged from a war and have countless recent dead.

In the third arc, Mother has freed R'kll and they've set their sights on Earth. Billy heads out with America and Tommy to ask Loki for advice on defeating her, while Teddy brings Sequoia before the Avengers as his charge in order to ensure that Quoi receives provisional immunity.

Loki is able to provide insight on how Mother might have been summoned and what the parameters might be for breaking the spell that's tethering her to Earth-616. It turns out that Mother is essentially holding Anelle's soul hostage and has been appearing to R'kll in her form. Mother's hold, at this point, has spread to the entire Alliance, and Teddy will have to defeat her or else she'll use it to destroy Earth and decimate his nation in the process.

Teddy recruits Wanda to help face Mother down. (side note, I'm desperate to see more of their relationship as in-laws.) Wanda agrees to work with Sequoia but insists on calling Mantis and making them talk.

The final showdown is the three boys, plus Wanda and Mantis, against Mother, R'kll, and an army of dead alien soldiers. Mantis and Wanda are able to pull Anelle's soul from Mother's grasp, but this doesn't banish her-- Mother's true anchor was R'kll, who'd been carrying Anelle's ghost in her heart ever since the destruction of Tarnax.

R'kll believes that she's always acted in the best interest of her nation, and she thought that bringing back Teddy's mother would finally make him see her way. Anelle and Teddy have a tearful reunion, but he admits that the only mother he's really mourned was the woman who raised him.

Wanda, Mantis, and Anelle, as a trio of mothers united with their lost sons, are able to reverse and seal Mother's power, which was based on lost children. They are not able to banish her, however, until R'kll steps forward and sacrifices herself, believing now that the best she can do for her nation is to rid the Alliance of the curse she brought upon it.

R'kll and Anelle begin to dissipate, but R'kll's sacrifice has called forth the spirit of Mrs. Altman, who is finally granted some closure and dignity in death by getting a chance to see how far Teddy's come and the peace that he's built in her memory.

Lots of crying! I made this sad. I'm sorry.

#young avengers #teddy altman #hulkling #wiccan #billy kaplan #empyre #robintext

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jupitermelichios · 4 years

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So I had to do overtime today, but I’m working from home and I’m not expected to make phone calls on weekends, so obviously I’m watching highschool musical 2 while i work.

I had not remembered that a major plot revolves around a) East High having a golf team and b) Troy having been on the golf team. Troy’s family can’t afford to send him to college without a scholarship. His dad has to buy a wreck and repair it rather than getting him a new car. But apparently they spend their weekends playing golf! Also highschool golf team.

I had also not remembered the scene where Sharpay has her minion kidnap Troy to watch a racist song and dance sequence that’s weird enough that’s it’s functionally a Rogers & Hammerstein style dream ballet but without the sleep/drugs framing device.

This is a minor thing, but there’s a couple of underwater shots that are supposed to be shot in the pool on the golf course but the pool they shoot in is insanely deep, like way deeper than a standard olympic pool. I assume it’s one on a studio lot they use for filming dramatic drowning scenes and stuff, but that doesn’t explain why they didn’t use the actual pool they had on the set.

They really show off how weird the choice of basketball as Troy’s sport was when they have a scene were college basketball people come to meet Troy, and they’re all 6ft black guys standing next to this tiny little white teenager. I assume the reason why it’s basketball is football doesn’t lend itself to coreography and basketball isn’t sexy enough? It’s still weird.

I’m still pissed that the girl who’s dark secret was her love of popping and locking can’t actually pop and lock. That seems like it would be a really easy thing to get right when you’ve got disney’s entire stable of stage school kids to draw on.

Holy shit I hadn’t remembered how gay the basketball scene was. Like, holy shit. This isn’t subtle and I really can’t believe that was an accident. Except that it’s the disney channel, so there’s no way it was deliberate. Also you’ve got to appreciate the irony of the basketball boys getting a dance routines scored to a song about how they refuse to dance.

I like how they were trying tomake it clear how spoiled Ryan and Sharpay are, but instead but gave them the ridiculously supportive parents who are completely devoted to supporting their kids despite the fact that their daughter is a sociopath and their son probably thinks Elton John could have done with more spangles. And also that translates into them also being super supportive of anyone their kids are friends with.

I’m assuming that the thought process behind this movie was ‘everyone thinks the twins are fucking, give Sharpay a love interest she’s not related to, dial Ryan’s queer coding up to 11, and make them fight, the rest will work itself out’

All of the costume design for these movies is amazing, it’s early 00s runway times 1000000, and I love whoever decided that Sharpay should unironically wear a tiara in every scene.

The overdubbing of the songs is seriously hit and miss, which adds to the already slightly weird tonal decision to make 70% of the songs diagetic, so it’s never clear what’s actually happening. Like, the baseball dance, probably not real, but Sharpay’s opening number? Who the fuck knows!

The biggest plot hole in this whole show is that both Troy and Gabrielle can read sheet music. Seriously why and when did either of them learn that? They could do it in the first one as well, so it’s not that they learned it for the unnamed musical.

It’s probably a lot less noticable if you’re a kid, but as an adult the fact that they repeat for or five songs over and over to pad the runtime and avoid having to write additional music really stands out.

I’m absolutely always here for dance sequences that are framed like bruce banner hulking out, but while HS2 is objectively a better movie than footloose, Efron is no Kevin Spacey.

Okay, so much of this film is redemed by the guy who’s like “why the fuck do you think we care about a musical tallent show, I’m a basketball player/pastry chef what the fuck do i care about musicals”

How the fuck did Troy learn an entire new song in the 2 minutes it took Gabriella to get changed? Also I know the answer is ‘dramatic reveals’ but why did no one tell the announcer that Sharpay would not be singing, that’s just a dick move.

Okay, so it’s cute that they get to do the final number, but as that annoying person who always has to point out the logistical problems of fictional stories, they’ve got like 300 guests eating a meal and the entire kitchen, wait and bar staff have all fucked off to do a tallent show. Are the guests supposed to let themselves into the kitchen and cook their own dinner?! Are we trusting them behind the bar now?!

Oh fuck you Ryan, I thought you were supposed to be good at this stuff, why is your group number a) a duet, b) staged in a way that means that actual audience can only see the backs of the performers! And then they give him the fucking trophy instead of Kelsie! What the fuck, movie?! I have seen a lot of dance movies, and I know you have to make the final number one no one has ever heard or rehearsed before, but there’s no justification for this! Sharpay gets a character developement moment, but it’s immediately followed by her being punished, which is just narritvely weird, and then the wildcats musical number that big chunks of the plot have been about never gets used.

Seriously the overdubbing. How is it this bad?! Also “enjoy this day because you’ll never get another’ is a weirdly threatening lyric for the closing song of a disney channel movie about the importance of friendship!

Honestly I actually really enjoyed it, and some of the songs are bops, but there’s a lot to unpack.

#hsm2 #hsm #charlie watches a thing #long post

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lady-divine-writes · 5 years

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Klaine one-shot “Consequences” (Rated NC17)

Summary: At a formal dinner thrown by a good friend, Kurt encounters a man he'd rather forget existed. He handles the situation with his signature cool, but his pet might not be quite so disciplined. (2529 words)

Notes: Okay, so, right off the bat, there are a few things I will admit are slightly problematic about the way Kurt and Blaine handle things here, but I know people like Kevin personally, and sometimes, a good old-fashioned revenge fic can make your day xD Plus, before anyone comes at me about hating switches, that isn't what this fic is about. I love switches. I know tons of them. But I also know people in the kink community who's behavior give switches a bad name. Kevin happens to be one of those. Dom Kurt, sub Blaine

Part 69 of Taking a Journey Together

Read on AO3.

“Why, if it isn’t Kurt Hummel!”

Those words slide unappetizingly through several sour notes of a single rusty octave range, volleying towards their target (in this case, the back of Kurt’s head) and striking with the messy precision of a hot mustard sandwich.

“Well, well, well …” The distastefully tipsy voice becomes louder as its owner slinks closer “… look who the cat dragged in! Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

Blaine, holding his Master’s drink with eyes trained on the floor, feels Kurt sigh through every fiber of his being from four feet away.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Captain Cliché. God save us all,” Kurt mutters under his breath. He reaches for his drink - a half filled glass of champagne – which Blaine obediently hands over, and knocks it back in one gulp.

Blaine takes the empty glass, prepared to hand it off to the next serving slave that passes by. He keeps his eyes lowered, disallowed to lift them as a submissive, but he doesn’t need to see this man to know who he is, though they’ve never been introduced.

Kevin Dale.

Not Kurt’s only ex, but the dreaded ex.

Blaine knows all about him. He’s the only sub Kurt had who doesn’t gush over him the way his other subs do. Worse, he does anything he can to cut Kurt down behind his back. He identifies as a switch, and is more than likely painting himself as a Dom for this particular occasion, which is why he can approach Kurt like they’re equals. He’s an egotistical ass who is more into fetish than BDSM, but he’s also an attention whore - a difficult thing with Kurt by your side. It’s one of the reasons Blaine can travel in BDSM circles with his Master and not worry too much about being noticed for who he is in real life.

On Broadway, Blaine’s the star, but in this arena, all eyes are on Kurt.

And even if they weren’t, they should be, because Blaine’s Master looks stunning.

They’re attending the first formal dinner they’ve been able to go to since Blaine started his new show. The dress code is evening gowns and tuxedos for the Dominants, clean-cut and slightly more casual attire for the subs - anything from the grey dress slacks and eggplant cashmere sweater Blaine has on to completely nude and collared applies. Blaine doesn’t have permission to look in the faces of the Dominants around him, but there’s two things he can tell about Kevin off the bat without looking:

The man is leering at his Master like a cat staring at a plump pigeon perched too high out of his reach.

And he’s drunk as a skunk.

Which leaves Blaine with a lot of questions, first on his list being where did their host go? It stated quite clearly in the invitation that it was against the rules to get drunk at this function. Inebriation was grounds for immediate removal.

Someone should have carted Kevin out of here a bottle of champagne ago.

“Oh, Kevin,” Kurt says, frustration embedded in his tone. “And just when I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Looks like today’s your lucky day!” Kevin slurs, but his attention wanes quickly when he sets eyes on Blaine. “And look who we have here!”

Blaine can’t see when the man’s eyes find him, but he knows his gaze lingers. He feels it like oily fingers trailing down his skin. He shivers in disgust.

“I heard you had a beautiful new boy, but I didn’t realize he was that beautiful.”

“Yes, he is. I’m incredibly lucky. And before you ask, no. I don’t share.”

“I wouldn’t even think of it,” Kevin replies, but to Blaine’s ears, he sounds disappointed. “I’d have no way to reciprocate.”

“So, you’re still unattached?” Kurt asks. To the outside observer, it would sound like small talk, but Blaine knows his Master took a dig.

“Sadly, yes. I’m far too busy to deal with anyone these days – Master or sub.”

“Pity,” Kurt grumbles, grabbing another glass of champagne when a tray passes by. “And yet you managed to find time in your schedule to show up here. To what do we owe the honor?”

“What’s the good of being part of the kink community if you don’t mingle from time to time? And being single is, uh … a great time to mingle.”

Kurt takes a possessive step in front of Blaine, a sign that Kevin must have given Blaine another lecherous once over. But Kurt changing positions draws Blaine’s gaze to his right, to his Master’s hip and Kevin’s hands gesticulating in and out of his line of sight. That’s when he sees it – a gold chain on Kevin’s wrist holding a complicated silver key. Blaine has seen those kinds of keys before. He knows what they’re for.

Kevin having one doesn’t make sense.

Kurt notices it, too, when Kevin dramatically reaches for his own glass of champagne, flashing it before Kurt’s eyes, waiting for Kurt to mention it. “So, you’re a key holder now?”

“Yup.”

“But I thought you said you didn’t have time for anyone.”

“I don’t.”

“So … whose is it?” Kurt sounds downright exhausted when he asks, but Blaine knows why he does. Not because Kurt cares who Kevin’s seeing, but because he wants to make sure that any soul who turns themselves over to Kevin’s quote-unquote care, even casually, knows what they’re getting themselves into.

“My own.”

Kurt’s breathing stops short in a shocked way that makes Blaine want to laugh, but he holds himself together.

“Come again?”

“I couldn’t find anyone worthy of being my key holder so I’m doing it myself.”

“O-kay.” As a masochist himself, Kurt can’t judge. He has a cage of his own. Several, if he’s being honest. There are many things he does to himself that stricter purist Dominants would consider crossing a line into submission. And Kevin’s a switch. Different rules apply. Still, what Kevin does, he does mostly for show, so Kurt would face palm himself if it were socially acceptable. “Whatever floats your boat.”

“Yup. I bought the heaviest, most restrictive cage I could find. Expensive, too,” he exposits even though no one asks, grabbing himself in the crassest way possible to emphasize his point. “It’s special made to my specifications, one of a kind, with only the one key.” He holds up his wrist, dangling the key in front of Kurt’s face like some sort of enticement. “I’d have to go see a locksmith if I lost it. Maybe even the ER.”

“You don’t say.” Kurt grabs another flute of champagne when another tray goes by out of habit now, sounding less interested in this conversation than he would talking about the average velocity of snot traveling through space. “You’d better pray it doesn’t go astray then.”

“The only way someone’s going to get ahold of this baby is to cut off my hand.” Kevin growls, sounding excited that someone might actually fight him over that key. Maybe he’s hoping Kurt will just so he has an excuse to mess with him again.

The assumption that he could sets Blaine’s back teeth on edge.

Kurt sighs. Blaine knows that sigh. It’s Kurt’s beyond done sigh. “Well, as exciting as this has been, I’m afraid it’s about time that my pet and I run along.”

“Ooo,” Kevin coos, stepping purposefully in Blaine’s way as they begin to walk off causing Blaine to run into him. “Feel like moving this party somewhere else, then? Somewhere more intimate?”

“Not in the slightest.” Kurt takes Blaine’s elbow and maneuvers him around the swaying bastard grinning in front of them. “You stay here, Kevin. Here ...” He thrusts his untouched glass of champagne in the man’s hand “… have a drink. I’m going to find Adam and confer with him about the caliber of his guest list. Have a lovely rest of your evening.”

“You as well, mon ami,” Kevin says with a clumsy wave, watching Blaine’s ass in particular as the two men leave, hand lewdly reaching for his caged cock again.

***

“Jesus Christ! That was the longest, dullest dinner Adam has ever thrown!” Kurt laments, shoving Blaine against the first wall he can find the second they walk through their hotel suite door. “I don’t know why he chose to change party planners, but they had no clue what they were doing!”

Blaine doesn’t get a word in before Kurt claims his mouth and kisses him hard, smacking the back of his head against the drywall. Not that he would have said anything … or had permission to speak. None of that matters anyway because he enjoys this – enjoys Kurt’s control, a control he doesn’t even have to surrender to. One only needs to surrender control when they have it, and as Blaine’s control is limited, there’s nothing to surrender. He just gets to be and that’s all he really wants.

“You know, I thought our evening was shot when that asshole Kevin showed up, but with you there …” Kurt breathes his pet in deep, letting the clean smell of Blaine’s skin fill his nose and mouth “… you make it all bearable.” He grins against his pet’s lips, crowding him further against the wall even when there’s no more room, pressing the whole of his body against him. “You were such a good boy tonight, pet.” Kurt giggles, reaching for the buckle to Blaine’s slacks. “Such an obedient boy. I think that deserves a reward. Don’t you?”

“I …” Blaine squeaks. God! Now is so not a good time to speak up, but he has to! If his Master finds out he was keeping something from him after receiving a reward, Blaine won’t see another one until the year’s out. And it’s only February. “Sir, I have a confession to make. An important one.”

“Oh?” Kurt steps back, annoyed at the interruption, but mostly at the idea that his pet may have disobeyed him behind his back. “And what’s that, pet? Tell me now.”

But Blaine doesn’t say another word. He reaches into his pocket and slowly pulls out a gold chain. He holds it up in front of Kurt’s face, gulping down air with a dry throat, aware that this might have serious consequences. Kurt’s eyes spring open wide.

The gold chain twists in front of his eyes from the weight of a single silver key.

A complicated key.

A familiar looking key.

“What the …?” Kurt stares at Blaine, surprise mixed with confusion swirling within his gaze. “When did you …?”

“I … I didn’t, Sir. Not intentionally. When Kevin bumped into me on the way out, the clasp must have caught on to my sweater and broke. It was stuck to my sleeve. I didn’t notice until we were in the parking lot. I suppose I could have told you in enough time to return it, but I ...” Blaine’s bottom jaw snaps shut, and with it, Kurt’s already wide eyes open further.

“But what, pet? Finish.”

“But I …” Blaine inhales in and exhales out, mentally preparing to end this night taking whatever punishment his Master sees fit to give him. “I don’t like Kevin. I don’t like the way he talked to you. I don’t like the way he talks about you. I don’t like the fact that he disrespects you. You’ve told me how he acted when the two of you were together – how he insulted you, manipulated you. Obviously, he hasn’t changed. I know that those concerns shouldn’t be mine, and that I should just obey. You give me rules, and I should follow them without question. But I wanted to get back at him. And this seemed like a fitting way.”

Kurt grabs the chain from Blaine’s hand and examines the clasp, not because he doubts his pet’s version of events, but so he can grasp the extent of what happened. He holds the chain closer to his eyes and sure enough, the clasp has snapped, rendering it permanently open. Kurt muses over this turn of events, contemplating what he should do, how he should handle Blaine. Considering the condition of the chain, it’s not really Blaine’s fault.

And yes, Blaine shouldn’t carry those concerns. They’re for Kurt to bear. But Kurt can’t punish Blaine for his loyalty. That would be like setting him up to fail. Kurt confided in him to begin with. Did he expect his loyal pet, this man who loves him unconditionally, to be able to push those things aside without any opinion on them whatsoever?

Kurt isn’t able to. Blaine has confided in Kurt, too, about demon exes from his past. Kurt hasn’t set any of that information aside. On the contrary, he’s created a hit list of sorts. On occasion, he takes it out, Googles a name, looks at a picture, memorizes information, dreams about the kinds of punishments he’d dish out if the two ever crossed paths …

Blaine shouldn’t disrespect a Dom by keeping his key from him. Losing keys are anxiety fuel for Kurt. But no one they know really considers Kevin a Dom worthy of respect anyhow.

Very few people consider him a Dom at all.

According to Adam, the man wasn’t invited to his soiree tonight. He finagled himself inside by taking advantage of his overwhelmed party planners – another point against him.

But regardless of feelings and people’s opinions, in the end, Kevin should have opted for a sturdier chain to carry his super important key.

The irony of Kurt finding himself unexpectedly becoming Kevin’s key holder makes a grin burn from cheek to cheek.

“You know, I should probably be upset at you for this,” Kurt says, unable to keep the snicker out of his voice. “And you’re right. The responsible thing would have been to tell me about this earlier, when I could have done something about it.”

“I know, Sir,” Blaine says, pressing his chin to his chest to hide the smile that won’t go away, relieved when he hears his Master’s playful tone. However Kurt decides to punish him over this, Blaine will deserve it.

But for the moment, he feels fucking great.

“Stay here, pet, while I take care of … this,” Kurt says, sneering at the key, thoughts of having to see the distasteful man again sullying his mood.

“Yes, Sir.” Blaine assumes Kurt will put the key safely away and text Kevin about it, letting him know when and where he can pick it up. After all, that’s the responsible thing to do. Kurt crosses the room to the bathroom and disappears behind the door. The next sound Blaine hears is the toilet flushing. Kurt comes out, brushing his hands together, the chain and key nowhere to be seen.

“Master?” Blaine says, raising an eyebrow.

“You know nothing, and neither do I, pet,” Kurt declares, returning to the matter of Blaine’s belt buckle. “Are we clear?”

“Crystal, Sir,” Blaine says, biting his lower lip the second Kurt slips his hands downs his pants.

“So,” Kurt hums, vibrating with satisfaction, “where were we …?”

#klaine fic #klaine #klaine fanfiction #dom/sub #frankie writes

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extremedivas · 5 years

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Top Five Failed Attempts By WWE to Create the Next Trish Stratus.

Trish Stratus, even at her peak, was never something out of All Japan Women, circa 1994. She was a decent worker, although Victoria (now Tara in TNA) and Molly "Nora Greenwald" Holly (two performers she often feuded with in 2002-2004) were superior to her in the in-ring department. She was over, but never had the connection with fans that, say, Sunny or Lita did in their primes (indeed, after Trish’s brief in-ring return this year, she just disappeared. Fans didn’t seem to notice or care.) She was never a huge ratings draw like Sable (who in 1999, believe it or not, was actually pulling in bigger ratings than Steve Austin.) In short, Trish was a decent all-rounder, but never excelled in any area (although her heel promos were occasionally very good.) but still WWE brass has placed her on a lofty pedestal. She was brought into be a trainer for Tough Enough. She’s likely to go into the Hall of Fame next year. Announcers and fellow wrestlers will often lavish praise on her and refer to her as a legend. Why, all the adoration? Well Trish is the only tangible proof management have that they can take a model and turned her into a good performer. It likely justifies their whole attitude to the women’s division: why bother hiring actual female wrestlers (who usually don’t have the looks), when you could just get models in and train them to be good wrestlers? Accordingly, they’ve tried to replicate the Trish experiment since. Even if, as I have noted, the original was probably a bit over-rated anyway. But, nonetheless, they’ve still tried. And, needless to say, most of the results have been a dismal failure. So, let’s have a look at five of the most blatant failures:

5.Ashley Massaro

What She Had Going For Her: She was a rock chick! She was totally different from all the other blond models! Well, okay, she really wasn’t. But the glimmer of personality she showed during the second Diva Search contest allowed her to win and gain the $250,000 contract. Also, Kevin Dunn and Vince McMahon liked her. A lot. This was mainly why she got the WWE spot on the CBS show Survivor, when the company was asked by the show to submit a contestant, even though most thought she would be a disaster and it would be ample opportunity to push an up and coming male star (indeed, Ashley lasted about 1 week and a half before getting kicked off).

What Went Wrong: Ashley was an atrocious wrestler. Like, unbelievably bad. Sloppy, un-coordinated, injury-prone...frankly, Manami Toyota would have dug up her grave to roll in if she ever saw one of Massaro’s matches. Jenna Morasca even thought Ashley was a crappy women's wrestler and could have put more of an effort in. Massaro also battled personal issues (reportedly, getting sent him from a Raw taping, due to being in "bad shape", which in wrestling usually means only one thing); she also shrunk dramatically in size, prompting worries about her possibly having an eating disorder. No, it’s never a good sign when we can clearly see your rib cages in pictures. Then there was the small matter of Rolling Stone Magazine outing her as a high-priced escort in their May 2008 issue after an FBI sting operation. Ashley took to her MySpace, vociferously denying the reports and claiming she was contacting her lawyer to demand a retraction. The Rolling Stone writer, Michelle Grigoriadis, stood by the claims that Massaro had worked as a $50,000 a night for a Los Angeles Escort Agency (and denied the theory that Massaro had been mixed up with a Las Vegas model of the same name.) The magazine never issued an apology or retraction, and nothing was ever heard about Ashley and her legal action again (quite similar to the time Dave Batista dramatically announced he was taking legal action against Sports Illustrated for linking him with steroid use, and then never made another peep about it again). She was released some time afterwards. Although it probably had less to do with the Rolling Stone story, and more with the fact that management had had it with her.

Where Is She Now: She was apparently in talks to do a reality show with VH1 (isn’t everyone?) The pitch of the show is that unknown MMA fighters would fight in gruelling matches to win the privilege of dating the supposedly stunning Ashley (for some reason, this concept conjured up the memory in my mind of GSP after he won the interim Welterweight title: “No, No, I don’t want this!”)

4.Christy Hemme

What She Had Going for Her: She was the winner of the first Diva Search and a management favourite for some time- they liked her look and her willingness to learn. Indeed, Christy was enthusiastic and worked very hard to get better in the ring. Indeed her first few performances were, for someone with limited training, very good indeed.

What Went Wrong: No-one is quite sure, actually. She was demoted to OVW in late 2005 (in a move that was speculated to have been an encouragement by WWE for her to quit on her own; although, instead, she relished the opportunity to get better) She was officially released from WWE in December of that year for what were apparently “budget reasons” (which makes sense: she was making quite a lot of money to not do that much, after all). Although Hemme strongly denied this and said she was more than willing to take a paycut. There were also some bizarre rumours about her and HHH (which were shot down by most reporters; after all, Christy looks way too much like a woman for HHH to be interested.) So, what was the deal? Later, Hemme writing in November 2008, claimed she had quit: “My departure from WWE was on my own terms because I stuck to my guns on my morals and values as a human being. I knew in my gut that it would be the end, but I also knew that carrying guilt for knowingly doing something against what I believed wasn't worth getting ahead. Leaving broke my heart... but doing the right thing is something I will always be proud of." Hmmm.

Where is She Now: Earning a huge pay check in TNA to do something that only mildly resembles ring announcing.

3.Kelly Kelly

What She Had Going for Her: Signed at 19 when Johnny Ace spotted her photo in a bikini magazine (prior to that the only wrestling match she had seen was Andre vs. Hogan at Wrestlemania III) Kelly was probably far too young when she got called up in 2006, but she is, nonetheless, an enthusiastic performer and well-liked backstage (It’s been noted that Randy Orton got a ton of heat for his criticisms towards her in his infamous interview with Arizona's Real Rock Radio Interview, because of her popularity in the locker room). She worked hard to get better in the ring and was given the divas championship after she won a title match in the fan voting for the interactive edition of Monday Night Raw. She even cried when she won her title(presumably because she was happy, not because she was distressed at being burdened with the ugly thing.) Also, she can count Vince McMahon and Kevin Dunn among her biggest supporters backstage.

What Went Wrong: She’s deathly afraid of the ring ropes, for a start. She’s also had some absolutely atrocious matches (Notably with Brie Bella at Money in the Bank) as champion. Also, in recent times, she’s become far more well-known for her turbulent love life than she has for any of her in-ring contributions. In the past, she’s been romantically linked with Dolph Ziggler, Andrew “Test” Martin, Chris Jericho and Batista (who admitted that, shockingly, he found the girl was dating “immature”, apparently not realizing that’s what happens when you date someone young enough to be your daughter.) It was all this that apparently inspired Orton’s harsh remarks last month.

Where Is She Now: Still hiding in fear from the ring ropes, I assume. Also: shooting Randy Orton evil glares if she spots him backstage at a taping.

2. Candice Michelle

What She Had Going for Her: Former fetish model Candice worked hard to improve her in-ring skills after joining WWE in 2004. Eventually, her hard work paid off and WWE rewarded her with the title at the notorious WWE Vengeance in 2007. Oh, and Vince liked her. A lot.

What Went Wrong: While she improved a lot as a wrestler, she still wasn’t that great. She was never particularly over either. Of course what really killed her career was broken collarbone in a late 2007 match with Beth Phoenix, an injury she was never able to fully recover from. She also committed the ultimate diva infraction of Not Being In Totally Perfect Shape and was released soon afterwards. After her release, she put up an incredibly gracious goodbye note on her official WWE blog, thanking the McMahon family and everyone else at WWE for everything they had done for her. It was rather coldly yanked from the site an hour later.

Where Is She Now: She got married to a doctor and had a daughter called Aki-Anne (almost as bad as a NXT name, isn’t it?). She can occasionally be found on the convention circuit, but appears to have moved on from wrestling for the most part.

1. Melina

What She Had Going For Her: Upon her debut, former beauty queen and Tough Enough contestant Melina Perez gained notice for her wrestling talent, presence and mic skills. Indeed, many predicted that she, along with her on and off screen boyfriend John Morrison, would become a major star in wrestling. Also, Mick Foley was a big fan. And Batista. And Bret Hart (who, in something he will probably never live down, once called her the "best wrestler in the world".)

What Went Wrong: Where to start? She was a heat-magnet for a start: shortly after her debut, she got sent to wrestler’s court in Australia for being rude to the other women and hitting on the wrong people (in their infamous shoot, Paul London and Brian Kendrick noted that she cried the entire time, and they thought the whole thing was awkward, needless and a complete waste of time) She apparently got into a catfight with Sharmell at one point, too. Melina’s erratic behaviour eventually got her and Morrison sent over to Raw. Later, she was kicked out of the locker room by Lita for her attitude. She was often compared to Tammy “Sunny” Sytch, who was also known for being a handful backstage during her run. She also allegedly got Brooke Adams fired for daring to wear furry boots, like she did (for her part, Brooke denied the story on Twitter, but acknowledged Melina was extremely difficult to be around in WWE, calling Melina a "rude, fake b****.")

More recently, Melina convinced herself that Trish Stratus had “stolen” her spot at Wrestlemania and instructed Morrison (who really does need to grow a pair) to give Trish the cold shoulder, bringing down an avalanche of heat on herself and Morrison. She also suffered a fair amount of injuries, including a torn ACL in early 2010, which seem to have affected her wrestling too: She has went from being a decent women’s wrestler to being as bad as the rest of the models turned wrestlers. Even if Ariane from Tough Enough claimed she had a five star classic with Alicia on Superstars once. And, worse still for any diva, years on the road and bad plastic surgery have also taken their toll on her looks: Melina has went from being a pretty girl to looking a bit like Michael Jackson. In such a cosmetic business (even the always- thin Maria Kanellis once claimed she had been dragged into WWE offices and told to lose weight) this likely doesn’t bode well for her future in WWE.

There’s also the strange behavior: the odd tweets, the strange Youtube videos, her new work-shoot persona (as for whether the angle is any good, let’s put it this way: she’s no CM Punk) and, of course, the skittles. Don’t forget the skittles. You know it’s never a good sign when Michael Cole (who is usually receiving instructions from Vince McMahon) refers to you as a “wackjob” on air (as Cole did last Monday) and it has nothing whatsoever to do with your on screen character.

Where Is She Now: Still munching down skittles and bossing Morrison around, I guess.

#wwe divas #wwe #trish stratus #pro wrestling #diva era #wwe divas era #Christy hemme #Melina #candice michelle #Kelly Kelly #ashley massaro #wwe want made blonde women wrestler as the next Trish Stratus

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teapotfiction · 6 years

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Maybe betty trying to convince jughead to do a couples costume, they can be whatever you want :)

Here you go anon! I’m not too sure about how this ended up, but I hope you like it anyway…

Dress to Impress

‘So you guys, I have had one of my totally fabulous ideas.’ Veronica Lodge announced as she joined the group sitting in the canteen. Like always, she had shunned the cafeteria’s food in favour of takeout coffee, which she was sipping delicately before revealing her big idea.

‘I’m going to throw a Halloween party!’ she grinned at the group, as if expecting a round of applause.

‘Cool’ Archie replied, non committally - once Betty had nudged him in the ribs. Jughead looked like he’d rather poke his own eyes out - or spend an evening in the Whyte Wyrm. Betty was smiling, but then she always did. Kevin was the only one who looked genuinely excited.

‘Oh come on!’ Veronica chivved the group, fortunate enough not to be someone who took offence quickly. ‘I just thought since there’s been so much ghoulishness going on, it might be fun to let our hair down.’

‘I think it’s an excellent idea. Thanks Ronnie. Who were you going to invite?’ Betty could always be relied upon to leap in and be supportive, where others might not.

‘I thought I’d leave it fairly open. Daddy’s away on business this weekend and what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.’ Veronica giggled.

‘Am I expected to attend this thing?’ Jughead interjected, hoping for a get out clause.

‘Of course! You’re Betty’s boyfriend so…’ Betty and Jughead eyed each other. That wasn’t a conversation that’d come up yet, although they’d been doing whatever they were doing for a couple of months now. ‘Oh my god you guys. It’s just a word, beginning with B. Annnd it means you can totally do a couple’s costume.’

‘What fresh hell is this?’ Jughead complained, but winked at Betty as he did so. Veronica chose to ignore him.

‘So Archiekins, what do you say? Be the Mickey to my Minnie?’

‘I’m in!

‘Don’t mind me Ronnie. I’ll just have the best costume there.’ Kevin smirked.

Once the others had all left, Jughead sidled closer to Betty.

‘I hope you didn’t think my lack of enthusiasm about the party was because of you.’ Jughead started a little awkwardly, acutely aware of the small and tentative steps they’d taken so far in their relationship. ‘The only reason I’d go is you.’

Betty grinned. ‘That’s sweet of you Juggie. But if you really don’t want to you don’t have to. Ronnie will understand.’

‘And make you go alone? I don’t think so.’ he slung one arm around her shoulders. ‘But I do draw the line at dressing up.’

Betty’s frame sagged. ‘Juggggie!’ Jughead stopped, and removed his arm from around her,

‘No, no, no. You’re about to do the eyes aren’t you? And you know I can’t say no to those eyes. And I really don’t want to dress up. So I’m going to look at the wall. Or my coffee. Or anywhere but your face. And you know how much it pains me to not look at your face.’

‘Jugggggie. Please? It’ll be fun?’ Betty linked her arm through his and pleaded with him, doe-eyed.

‘Aw damnit Betty. Why can’t we just go as Jughead and Betty, a couple of normal kids in the crazy town of Riverdale.’

‘Because we’re Betty and Jughead everyday. C’mon, just once. And you can have the power of veto over any outfit you don’t want to wear.’

Jughead sighed. ‘Fine. Full veto though. None of your devious persuasion techniques.’

Betty squeezed his arm. ‘I don’t know what you mean. I got to get to class. You think about what you want to go as.’ She kissed him lightly on the cheek, and rushed off to class.

She’d only been gone a minute or two when his phone began to buzz.

B: Waldo and Wenda?

J: Horizontal stripes do not flatter my figure.

B: Beauty and the Beast?

J: Charming Betts. Vetoed.

B: Pity. I’m all about the beast within.

J: Are you flirting with me?

B: Is it working?

J: I can neither confirm nor deny.

B: Barbie and Ken?

J: Now I know you’re just winding me up.

B: ;)

Betty had actually thought of the perfect costume for her and Jughead a while ago. Longer ago than she cared to admit to. In fact, she might have been the one to first suggest to Veronica that a halloween party might be fun. Not that she would ever, ever, ever let that slip to Jughead. She knew him well enough to know that there was a certain element of game playing if she was to get him to agree to the costume. It would also involve sweetening in the form of milkshakes, so she took him to Pop’s after school.

‘Why does this feel like I’m about to have my arm twisted into something?’ Jughead pretended to be grumpy as he sat down in their favourite booth.

‘Shhhh. Don’t think about that just enjoy your milkshake.’ Betty smiled sweetly and curled herself under his arm, resting her head on his shoulder. He pulled her even closer, his hand resting firmly on her hip. She sighed contentedly and he kissed the top of her head.

‘This.’ he said simply. ‘This is why I want to go as just Jughead and Betty. Nothing can improve on this.’

‘I know Juggie. But it’s just a little fun.’

‘I have a reputation to uphold you know.’

‘That went out of the window the moment you started dating a cheerleader.’

‘My ego. My delicate, delicate ego.’ he wailed, dramatically.

Betty smiled at her boyfriend, and pushed herself up slightly to kiss him. She only meant to brush his lips lightly, but Jughead had other ideas, that involved a much longer and more passionate kiss.

When he finally and reluctantly broke away he said. ‘Go on then. What part do I need to play?’

‘Danny Zuko.’ Betty giggled and took a sip of her milkshake.

‘Okay. That’s not entirely horrible.’

‘You have the hair for it.’

‘I do have the hair for it. And you’ll look cute in a poodle skirt.’

‘See! I told you it’d be fun.’

‘Anything with you is fun.’ Jughead kissed her again.

Betty decided that she wouldn’t mention that she was going as final-scene Sandy. That was going to be her little surprise.

#bughead #bughead fanfiction #prompt #halloween

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eenefangirlanalysis · 7 years

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The playground...what am I saying? The WHOLE neighborhood has been destroyed from the whole car chase.

It looks as if there was an earthquake.

The cul-de-sac is destroyed in some way each day. The neighbors have had to make a complaint to one of the parents.I wouldn’t be surprised if anybody has moved out from the neighborhood.

I was talking about this detail in my response to @jenny2x4 about cul-de-sac. Since we’re living together on a circle that’s on a dead end of a street we all have to get to know one another. If the kids lived in a regular neighborhood they wouldn’t take the time to get to know one another. We all have our problems in our neighborhoods. We have to live with them because we can’t change each other. We can change the way you live, however.

Poor Jonny looks like he got hit by a bus.

Haha. How ironic. You’ll get it later on.

Nazz is calling out for Kevin who is busy steaming.

Kevin complains that they almost had the Ed’s if they didn’t have the last second get-a-way car.

“We can’t let this go, man! Not after what they did!”

Kevin always makes the Ed’s suffer. There are times where he is being over dramatic. He could easily let the Ed’s go and not be a part of their lives. Living in a cul-de-sac makes that difficult.

I have a theory on why Kevin may hate Eddy. Remember how different Eddy was in season 1. He was a cool person, had an outgoing personality, and showed off multiple hidden talents? Kevin made Eddy an outcast because he didn’t want to feel left out. He was jealous of Eddy. Eventually Kevin’s plan worked, but only because Eddy was walking closer into a mental breakdown due to constantly thinking about his brother.

Here we get a chance to see Kevin and Nazz’s never outright said relationship.

Kevin and Nazz are best friends since they were introduced to the series. They’re always seen talking, hanging out, or trying to give one another advice. As the series goes along, and as they begin to hit puberty they start to notice feelings.

Whether Kevin and Nazz wanted to be in a relationship I think they’re only going out with one another to follow the crowd. We all know how in middle school everyone had to be dating. Nobody understands what love is yet. They’re just going out for the fun of it.

I think it may have been Nazz who asked Kevin out. It’s what she thought that she wanted. She wants to go along with the crowd in fear of acting herself.

So far, I like how affectionate Kevin is. He helps Nazz to her feet and let’s her cry on his shoulder. See, Kevin does have an affectionate side which he hides. He isn’t sure how to be affectionate. This is where my theory about his parents being divorced fits in. Kevin lives with his Dad while his mom lives separately. Kevin and his Dad don’t share an emotional bond. I can see that they are close because their entire garage is filled with jawbreakers from his job, and theu must talk about sports all the time. Kevin is missing a female figure in his life.

Nazz is being an overreacting baby crying about her disheveled looks.

She is a much stronger person then this. Nazz never cared about what she looked like pre-season 5. The only reason she changed her personality was because she thought the kids liked it. The kids and fans responded more to Nazz’s dumb blonde girly attitude. She did have a character way before season 5. Audiences didn’t realize due to the way she was hardly given a character and stands around with the kids in the background.

Nazz may look like the confident happy person she is on the outside, but I believe she’s struggling to find who she is.

Nazz was once very obese. She was able to lose all that weight by finding a hobby in physical exercise. Nazz is also missing one parent figure. I believe her dad is separated from her mom.

Kevin and Nazz are close friends because they represent the parental figures who are missing from their lives.

“Shed tears no more fuss-bucket-Nazz-girl!” Thank you, Rolf.

Even thought Kevin, Rolf and Nazz hang out together as a group doesn’t mean that he is close with her. Sometimes Nazz and Rolf are seen together but they’re complete opposites. That doesn’t stop Kevin and Rolf. Or the Ed’s.

“Rolf will unearth the Ed-boys and squash them like the parasite that infests Wilfred's tuchis!”

“This is Rolf’s word... dawg.”

Rolf has been getting used to living in America. He starts to use more slang term and understand the kids customs.

Unlike Rolf’s family he grew up more in America then his old country. It’s never stated why Rolf had to move to America. I think it has something to do with the wolf man incident as we seen from the flashback in No Speak Da Ed. Rolf lives by his own family and country traditions. Since Rolf’s parents and relatives are very new to adapting at a life in America I think their are occasional disagreements within the family.

Rolf’s is trying to use slang term. You can tell he’s been hanging out with Kevin a lot.

Rolf doesn’t mind being different. It’s how other people react to him. All fans love Rolf for the uniqueness he brings to the series. Although Rolf has followed tradition he’d rather take his own path. He wants to becomes a barber. There is nothing wrong with this. I love this Rolf is trying to be his own person. That’s tough when you’re a part of a big family who follows tradition.

His subplot within the movie makes me feel sad for his character. He goes alone. I feel like Rolf is trying to show his family and ancestors that he can also make a journey alone. He puts himself under too much pressure as does his family making him do all those chores. As I was saying they each have a different outlook on life.

“They’re going to wish they never messed with Nazz Van Bartenshmeer!”

Nazz got a last name? How come nobody else gets a last name besides the Kanker sisters?

The writers wanted to do something totally different with Nazz. They know they could have done more with her in the series. I don’t know what a last name did for her character. It does give a little background on her.

Last names originate from people’s backgrounds such as their occupation, where they first lived, or based around your father’s first name.

That means Nazz is dutch or has a dutch background.

This is an interesting side note. I looked up the last name on Google and all the results show me Nazz. According to these results there is no real person by the name of Van Bartenshmeer.

The writers gave her a unique name because she is a unique person. Going with the divorced parents theory was this her father’s last name or did her mom decide to go back to her maiden name?

I love the confused look on Kevin’s face. He’s like, ‘Uh... that’s your last name?’

Plank suddenly distracts Jonny away from the other kids mayhem.

Plank seems to remind Jonny of what they could do to track down the Ed’s. Jonny agrees saying that it’s time to track down special forces.

He wasn’t really a part of the kids conversation much in the first place. And nobody acknowledges him. nobody acknowledges him throughout the whole opening of the movie. Kevin, Rolf and Nazz shouted out information to one another during the whole car chase. They never said or tried to help Jonny out.

If the Ed’s didn’t exist in the neighborhood he’d be the outcast. Jonny claims to be a loner but I don’t think that is true. He wants the kids to be friends with him. It’s sad that Jonny has always had social anxiety presumably ever since he was a toddler. That’s how long he’s had Plank for.

Making friends is either easy or hard. I had a very hard time with it during my middle school years. We can all relate to Jonny or one of the kids. We were all kids with our own insecurities. We’re not alone.

Kevin stomps off to find his bike. He is destined to hunt down the Ed’s knowing they couldn’t have gone far.

That is true. They only go a mile away from the cul-de-sac and then hike three towns over to where Bro lives.

“Yes! Rolf will draw forth thee.-”

“Wait up, Kev!”

This is what I dislike about Nazz’s character change. She is independent. She always has been. The writers turned her into the clingy girlfriend who can’t do anything. She always has to rely on her boyfriend for everything. And Nazz hates how she changed herself into that.

The more I think about it, Nazz and Eddy have a lot more in common then we think. They both wear a mask because they’re insecure about themselves.

Rolf is actually distracted by Nazz abandoning him. Did he want to go with someone else on this journey or was he willing to go alone all along?

Rolf continues on with his rant as Jonny slowly slips off screen without anyone noticing him.

None of the kids are going to let the Ed’s get away.They’re determined to get their revenge.

#Ed Edd n Eddy #eene #ed edd n eddy big picture show #Ed #Edd #Eddy #Kevin #Nazz #Rolf #Jonny #character analysis #eene analysis #the eds #every which way but ed #No Speak Da Ed

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biofunmy · 4 years

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5 New N.B.A. Truths – The New York Times

Want more basketball in your inbox? Sign up for Marc Stein’s weekly N.B.A. newsletter here.

Seventeen of the league’s 30 teams have played at least 27 games. A third of the regular season schedule, in other words, is essentially complete.

So we can safely make some declarations about what has been a Los Angeles-centric season so far — with considerable doses of Giannis Antetokounmpo and Luka Doncic, too — after what amounts to a full trimester to evaluate things:

1. LeBron James has never been more like Wilt Chamberlain.

Wilt The Stilt, as legend has it, decided to lead the league in assists in 1967-68 because he got tired of being branded selfish and wanted to show the world he could do whatever he wanted on the floor.

He remains the only center in league history, in any N.B.A. season, to win the total assists crown.

LeBron has never been labeled a selfish player, but he has also never led the league in assists over an entire season. In Year 17, James is averaging a league-high 10.7 dimes per game. That makes him the only current player to sport a double-digit assist average and, because the Lakers list him as a forward, puts him on track to become the first forward in league history to lead the league in that category.

It’s certainly still early in the race to the championship, all things considered, but LeBron has never started a season more impressively. We can nitpick and point out that the Lakers have had the 18th-easiest schedule based on ESPN’s rankings. Just make sure you also note that while Kawhi Leonard and Paul George try to establish consistent smoothness in their fledgling partnership with the Clippers, King James and Anthony Davis look every bit the dream duo on the court that they appeared to form on paper.

The concern for the Lakers, if you insist on highlighting one, is that both James and Davis are averaging nearly 35 minutes per game. That’s a big load by modern N.B.A. standards.

That’s also such a welcome problem compared to the nonstop drama that gripped this franchise throughout LeBron’s first season in Hollywood.

2. James Harden has never been more like Wilt, either.

The Rockets employ a tireless statistician named Sean McCloskey. I like to call him Jack, in tribute to the former Detroit Pistons executive to whom he is not related, because he’s as good at his job as Jack McCloskey was in putting the Bad Boys Pistons teams together.

I share this dribble of minutiae because I recently asked Jack, er, Sean to send me his latest list of Harden scoring superlatives. What became immediately apparent, scrolling through them, is that so many invoke Wilt’s name.

Wilt earned copious scorn throughout his career for being so dominant (and so much bigger than most of his opposition). Harden gets his own share of scorn some 50 years later because of his high usage and his penchant for drawing contact (and hunting for fouls) that some find unappealing to watch.

You may not enjoy it, but Harden’s relentless production, just like Chamberlain’s, has to be respected — even if some of it this season is actually a byproduct of Houston’s rise to No. 3 in the league in pace since acquiring Russell Westbrook over the summer. The way people react to Harden makes him a true heir to Wilt, despite the fact that he’s eight inches shorter. And left-handed.

As Rockets Coach Mike D’Antoni and General Manager Daryl Morey are fond of saying, it’s bonkers to see a player like Harden, in his 11th season, find a way to get better yet again. You have to respect that, too.

3. The West is weaker than we all thought.

Instead of trying to pinpoint the most disappointing team through the season’s opening third, perhaps it’s wiser to just select the most disappointing conference.

Only six teams in the West are over .500. Denver (17-8) and Utah (15-11) have likewise fallen short of predictions.

The West’s record in interconference games, furthermore, is a very modest 73-72.

The East remains the overall weaker conference from 1 to 15, but its top six teams have collectively been more impressive than the West’s. That’s even with Houston (arguably) and Dallas (definitely) exceeding expectations.

Phoenix and Minnesota, after promising starts, are reverting to the lottery-bound form that has plagued those franchises for years. Portland and New Orleans spoke with considerable optimism (and even bravado) in the preseason, as did the Timberwolves, only to quickly descend into crisis.

And then there is San Antonio. The Spurs couldn’t hold a 25-point lead on Monday night in Houston and fell to 10-16. Rather than closing in on a record-setting 23rd consecutive playoff appearance, Coach Gregg Popovich is being urged, louder than ever, to trade the veteran duo of LaMarcus Aldridge and DeMar DeRozan and launch the sort of rebuild Pop has happily avoided his whole career.

We made the case in last week’s newsletter that, unless the Pistons get it together, we likely already know our eight playoff teams in the East. In the West, by contrast, we know so much less than anticipated by this juncture.

4. The championship race may not be nearly as wide open as many predicted.

If the Lakers and Clippers are generally healthy come April, they will be overwhelming favorites to advance to the Western Conference finals. If Milwaukee and Philadelphia likewise have good health entering the postseason, they’ll be equally huge favorites to advance to the Eastern Conference finals.

The free-for-all for the title that was widely promised, given all the injuries that waylaid Golden State after the Warriors’ five consecutive trips to the N.B.A. finals, simply hasn’t materialized.

5. The team to watch before the trade deadline is Denver.

Looking across the league in search of a trade that could truly trouble the two L.A. teams or the East brutes Milwaukee and Philly, I am repeatedly drawn to Denver.

The Nuggets need a jolt. The continuity edge they carried into the season over the teams that made dramatic summer changes hasn’t paid off — and Nikola Jokic has receded from last season’s peak form as he continues to generate questions and criticism about his conditioning by playing at nearly 300 pounds.

My former ESPN colleague Zach Lowe suggested recently that the Nuggets should make a trade play for New Orleans’ Jrue Holiday. It’s a sensational idea — and Denver has the assets to pull it off.

Given a variety of hypothetical deals to consider, Holiday to the Nuggets would do more for Denver than, say, Boston overcoming the considerable salary-cap challenges it would face in trying to acquire Kevin Love from Cleveland or Miami importing Kyle Lowry from Toronto. Perhaps the Heat could also make a run at Holiday, but I rate Denver, which has been very methodical in its teambuilding, as the most intriguing hope for a landscape-changing trade during the season.

The Scoop @TheSteinLine

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You ask; I answer. Every week in this space, I’ll field three questions posed via email at [email protected]. (Please include your first and last name, as well as the city you’re writing in from, and make sure “Corner Three” is in the subject line.)

Q: Their loss is our gain. We have a fresh, young, motivated stud in @Bam1of1. — @Junior_TreyOh5 from Twitter.

STEIN: I know, I know. This isn’t a question.

But it’s a response to one I’ve thrown out on Twitter a couple of times already this season as Miami’s Bam Adebayo continues to mount a wholly unexpected bid for an All-Star spot in the East as well as Most Improved Player honors: How did this ridiculously versatile player not make U.S.A. Basketball’s 12-man squad for the FIBA World Cup over the summer?

It’s an increasingly pertinent what-if given that Adebayo, after posting two triple-doubles in four days, was just named Player of the Week in the Eastern Conference. To go with his rugged defense and dogged rebounding, Adebayo has flashed a blossoming touch for both scoring and passing in Miami’s 19-8 start.

I’ve done some rechecking on the matter and was advised recently that U.S.A.B. officials didn’t see anything resembling this Adebayo during practices in August. It was likewise suggested that Adebayo, deep down, knew he didn’t make a strong enough case to earn a slot.

Adebayo wouldn’t go that far when I had a chance to ask him directly over the weekend, but he did acknowledge that losing out to Milwaukee’s Brook Lopez, Indiana’s Myles Turner and Denver’s Mason Plumlee left him with a “bigger chip on my shoulder.”

“Obviously no man wants to get cut, so I take it personally,” Adebayo said after posting the second of those triple-doubles in an overtime win on Saturday night in Dallas. “But it’s behind me now.”

Yet Adebayo insisted that “it’s not the reason why I’ve been doing what I’m doing.”

Credit Heat Coach Erik Spoelstra for instilling him with the confidence to become an increasingly significant part of Miami’s offense on top of Adebayo’s Draymond Green-like ability to guard all five positions.

Q: Does Taylor Jenkins have what it takes to not only guide the Grizzlies back into the playoffs in the next couple of years but also keep the Grizzlies in the city of Memphis? Or is a move to Las Vegas or Seattle inevitable? — Ross Kerwin (Hoboken, N.J.)

STEIN: Let’s separate these very disparate questions.

The Grizzlies, at 10-17 and fresh off a home win over Miami, have been a refreshingly tough out.

I didn’t expect a lot from this group with so much being asked of three rookies: Ja Morant, Brandon Clarke and the new coach. But Jenkins has the Grizzlies moving the ball. Morant, Clarke and the second-year forward Jaren Jackson Jr. are all thriving.

Memphis is 4-1 since Morant came back from a bout of back spasms, and the only loss was to mighty Milwaukee.

But let’s be clear here: Jenkins will have virtually nothing to do with keeping the Grizzlies in Memphis. That’s way beyond his pay grade. The team owner Robert Pera, in his most recent comments on the matter in April 2018, said he is “committed to Memphis as an N.B.A. market” and has no intention of relocating the franchise.

Neither relocation nor expansion is considered a pressing topic in the league at the moment, but the Grizzlies do continue to be mentioned as an occasional relocation candidate, thanks to their market size (29th in a 30-team league) and their struggles at the gate. They awoke on Tuesday ranked 28th in the league in home attendance at 15,304 fans per game, ahead of only New Orleans and Minnesota.

Should Pera’s stance change before 2027, various locally based minority shareholders in the Grizzlies must be given the first shot at buying the team, according to reporting from my fellow Western New York native Geoff Calkins, now of the Daily Memphian. If things ever reached that point, mind you, it would be fair to wonder who in Memphis could afford the going rate for an N.B.A. team.

The big picture, though, looks encouraging as a calendar flip to 2020 draws near. Faster than most outsiders anticipated after it traded away Marc Gasol and Mike Conley, Memphis would appear to have the makings of a new core starring Morant, Jackson and Clarke. With the Pelicans’ Zion Williamson still out indefinitely after October knee surgery, Morant is the Rookie of the Year favorite — and showing everyone why numerous pundits proclaimed him a potential franchise-saver when the Grizzlies won the No. 2 overall pick in last May’s draft lottery to acquire him.

Q: Feel stupid now for not having the Pacers make the playoffs in your preseason predictions? — Randy Bruce

STEIN: No, sir.

And that’s because I didn’t pick the Pacers to miss the playoffs.

I’ll be the first to put my hand up when I misfire with a prediction. Example: My tout that the Utah Jazz will reach the Western Conference finals isn’t looking especially clever at the minute.

But if you check back to my Eight Fearless Predictions newsletter from Oct. 22, I think you’ll find that I said Pacers Coach Nate McMillan would be in the conversation for the Coach of the Year Award if he can steer Indiana to what so many of us thought would be an up-for-grabs No. 3 seed in the East. Even with Victor Oladipo’s ongoing injury absence and even after the Pacers’ surprising 0-3 start, I (and many others) had Indiana as a playoff team.

The surprise, through Monday’s games, is that the Pacers are one of six teams in the East that have an average point differential of plus-4.9 and above. I can’t remember anyone who projected that to last this deeply into the schedule. According to Cleaning The Glass, Indiana’s average victory margin of plus-5.0 is worthy of a 54-win team.

Numbers Game

The Milwaukee Bucks, finally beaten on Monday night by Dallas, were the 13th team in league history to assemble a winning streak of at least 18 games. Only seven of the previous 12 teams, however, went on to win the N.B.A. championship. They are the 1971-72 Los Angeles Lakers (33 wins in a row), 2012-13 Miami Heat (27), 1970-71 Bucks (20), 2013-14 San Antonio Spurs (19), 1999-2000 Lakers (19), 1995-96 Chicago Bulls (18) and the 1969-70 Knicks (18). The five teams that fell short are the 2015-16 Golden State Warriors (24), 2007-08 Houston Rockets (22), 2014-15 Atlanta Hawks (19), 2008-09 Boston Celtics (19) and the 1981-82 Celtics (18).

2.8

In 1979-80, when the 3-point line was introduced in the N.B.A., teams combined to shoot an average of 2.8 3s per game. Forty seasons later, in 2019-20, teams are averaging nearly 30 more 3-pointers at 33.7 per game.

When James Harden followed a 55-point outburst in Cleveland with 54 points in Orlando last week, it marked the second time this season that the Houston scoring machine posted consecutive 50-point games. He’s done it five times in his career.

An interesting offshoot of the load management era: Several players who would be classified as Most Valuable Player Award candidates are averaging 32 minutes per game or fewer. They are: Milwaukee’s Antetokounmpo (31.2), Dallas’ Luka Doncic (32.2), Philadelphia’s Joel Embiid (30.7) and the Clippers’ Kawhi Leonard (31.5).

There are 51 days remaining before the Feb. 6 trade deadline at 3 p.m. Eastern time. Trade season began in earnest on Sunday when more than 100 players who signed contracts in the summer became eligible to be dealt. Potential names on the move include Cleveland’s Kevin Love, Memphis’ Andre Iguodala and the Knicks’ Marcus Morris. Trade chatter could begin to ramp up this week when representatives from all 30 teams converge on Las Vegas for the N.B.A.’s annual G League Showcase.

Hit me up anytime on Twitter (@TheSteinLine) or Facebook (@MarcSteinNBA) or Instagram (@marcsteinnba). Send any other feedback to [email protected].

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biofunmy · 4 years

Text

5 New N.B.A. Truths – The New York Times

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Seventeen of the league’s 30 teams have played at least 27 games. A third of the regular season schedule, in other words, is essentially complete.

1. LeBron James has never been more like Wilt Chamberlain.

He remains the only center in league history, in any N.B.A. season, to win the total assists crown.

The concern for the Lakers, if you insist on highlighting one, is that both James and Davis are averaging nearly 35 minutes per game. That’s a big load by modern N.B.A. standards.

That’s also such a welcome problem compared to the nonstop drama that gripped this franchise throughout LeBron’s first season in Hollywood.

2. James Harden has never been more like Wilt, either.

3. The West is weaker than we all thought.

Instead of trying to pinpoint the most disappointing team through the season’s opening third, perhaps it’s wiser to just select the most disappointing conference.

Only six teams in the West are over .500. Denver (17-8) and Utah (15-11) have likewise fallen short of predictions.

The West’s record in interconference games, furthermore, is a very modest 73-72.

4. The championship race may not be nearly as wide open as many predicted.

5. The team to watch before the trade deadline is Denver.

Looking across the league in search of a trade that could truly trouble the two L.A. teams or the East brutes Milwaukee and Philly, I am repeatedly drawn to Denver.

The Scoop @TheSteinLine

Q: Their loss is our gain. We have a fresh, young, motivated stud in @Bam1of1. — @Junior_TreyOh5 from Twitter.

STEIN: I know, I know. This isn’t a question.

Yet Adebayo insisted that “it’s not the reason why I’ve been doing what I’m doing.”

STEIN: Let’s separate these very disparate questions.

The Grizzlies, at 10-17 and fresh off a home win over Miami, have been a refreshingly tough out.

Memphis is 4-1 since Morant came back from a bout of back spasms, and the only loss was to mighty Milwaukee.

Q: Feel stupid now for not having the Pacers make the playoffs in your preseason predictions? — Randy Bruce

STEIN: No, sir.

And that’s because I didn’t pick the Pacers to miss the playoffs.

I’ll be the first to put my hand up when I misfire with a prediction. Example: My tout that the Utah Jazz will reach the Western Conference finals isn’t looking especially clever at the minute.

Numbers Game

2.8

Hit me up anytime on Twitter (@TheSteinLine) or Facebook (@MarcSteinNBA) or Instagram (@marcsteinnba). Send any other feedback to [email protected].

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