#really liked this artcle

[alexbkrieger13]

Full artcle

I couldn't hold back my tears.

I don't know if it's age, but I seem to get more emotional in these situations.

It's difficult to put into words what I felt when I jumped onto the ice at the Verdun Auditorium on January 13 for our team's home opener.

The crowd was incredible, but it was more than just the ovation that put me in this state. This emotion represented years of effort. I dreamed of this moment for a long time and, finally, we were there.

When I saw great women like Caroline Ouellette, France St-Louis, Kim St-Pierre and Danielle Goyette arrive on the ice, I got chills. I was so happy that people recognized them and gave them the ovation they deserve. Without them, I would not have had the same career.

I'll be honest. At one point, I feared this moment would never come. It took longer than expected. Yes, there were these showcases , weekends where matches were organized in different cities, but it had nothing to do with a real professional league.

JI remember the first time I came to see the installations in Verdun with Danièle Sauvageau. There was almost nothing done. We had our work boots and construction helmets. She had a vision which she explained to me in detail. But I really had a hard time imagining it.

Marie-Philip Poulin greets the crowd after a Montreal team match.

PHOTO: LPHF MONTREAL/ARIANNE BERGERON

Our fans are the best. Friends who play on other teams told me that. It's not a crowd like any other in Montreal. She is noisy. She is invested. It's important to me to give back to people who are on the move. I am now more comfortable in this role. It’s the experience that comes in, you have to believe.

Before a live interview on Radio-Canada during an intermission at the Verdun Auditorium, a boy called me to offer me a treat. He threw one at me and I caught it in midair with my mouth. I started my interview anyway, with a smile on my face and my mouth full. It's part of my identity, my personality. Interaction with young people is really important to me.

The enthusiasm for our league is very real. I feel it. I hear it too. In Ottawa, I got booed when I went for a penalty shot. Being booed at home, in Canada, I admit that it's a first! It's weird, but it doesn't bother me. After all, that's what we wanted: a competitive league, rivalries and fans who identify with their city.

After a game in Minnesota, we went for a beer. Fathers came to see us to tell us how excited they were to see professional women's hockey. I saw how happy they were for us. It was in Minnesota, we are the team from Montreal and, despite everything, we attract attention.

This anecdote made me realize how our situation has nothing to do with what we experienced in the past. The enthusiasm is there and I have the impression that it is not just the effect of novelty. It will last and it's truly magical.

OHe talks to me a lot about this match last January 20, against Toronto . In fact, I'm mostly told about this goal scored with 17 seconds left in the third period and that we lost by one goal. Honestly, I don't know what happened. I had a blackout . It's rare that I take the puck and try to get to the goal on my own. I saw an opening. It was not premeditated. I was the first surprise when I scored.

Then, I was sent to shootouts four times by my coach. I obviously wasn't ready for that. It took me a little by surprise. It's not my favorite rule, but I'll get used to it.

I was burned out after that match. It's a lot of adaptation. LPHF games, Canada-US Rivalry Series, travel. We're not used to having such a big workload. You have to prepare well, but also make sure you recover well. That's the beauty of this league. It allows me to continue to surpass myself, to learn new things.

Marie-Philip Poulin

PHOTO: LPHF MONTREAL/ARIANNE BERGERON

I like hockey. I love that. And what I prefer is when the score is close. I like it when you have to give a little more, when you have to empty the tank. When it really counts, that's when I'm at my best. It turns me on.

My parents always told me: You practice like you play. It always stuck in my mind. I don't take anything for granted. I am aware of the pressure, but I have learned to manage it over the years. I don't forget that it's a team sport. I'm lucky to have been able to achieve some of these great moments, but I know I'm not alone in this.

I won Olympic medals, but I also lost world championships. I even wondered if I was capable of winning one. The 2018 Olympics were arguably the most difficult time of my career. I was practically hiding. I didn't want to see anyone. I thought I had disappointed the whole world by failing to bring home the gold medal.

I also learned not to read everything, to leave certain comments aside. Hockey is such a difficult sport. You can do the same thing every game, but the rebound won't go your way, it won't work or the opposing goalie will be on fire. I keep in mind that if you give your maximum in every match, it will happen.

People expect me to score goals, but that's not all I am. I take a lot of pride in blocking shots, in raising sticks in defensive withdrawal. I can still improve my defensive game. To win championships, you have to count, but the little details in the defensive zone will make the difference.

Marie-Philip Poulin and Laura Stacey celebrate a goal together on January 2, against Ottawa

PHOTO: LPHF MONTREAL/ARIANNE BERGERON

Even though she has been on the national team for a long time and is one of the best players in the world, Laura Stacey is less known to Quebec fans. Why her, they then asked themselves?

I knew full well that Danièle Sauvageau had not chosen her because she is my fiancée. Laura, she's an incredible player. A real power forward who has remarkable discipline.

She chose to move to another province. She is learning the language and doesn't hesitate to try to do bits of interviews in French. It's not easy, but she embraces her new reality.

I'm proud of her. I am proud to see her doing promotions for the media in French. I'm proud that people are discovering her personality, the player she is and that Montrealers are falling in love with her because she really deserves it.

OI often ask myself why I continue.

I don't have to play hockey. I do it because I love it. I feel the best on the ice.

I have the Olympic gold medals, the World Championship gold medals. Now I want to win an LPHF title in Montreal, at home.

Having a positive impact on the next generation has become my priority. To see the little girls in the stands, with stars in their eyes, it's worth more than championships, it's worth more than medals.

Eventually, I want to start a family. It would be in my next projects. We love kids, so this is really important to us.

For the moment, it's still hockey first and foremost.

Marie-Philip Poulin has fun during off-ice training

PHOTO: LPHF MONTREAL/ARIANNE BERGERONStart of widget. Skip widget?

Comments collected by Christine Roger

Header photo by LPHF Montréal/Arianne Bergeron

#this is so sweet #marie philip poulin #laura stacey #pwhl #pwhl montreal #woho #womens hockey #hockey #hockey article

[marwritesgood]

Change the Ending | S. Harrington

Pairing: Steve x Hopper!Reader

Timeframe: Season 3 - 4

Summary: [Based on Cardigan - Taylor Swift] Despite agreeing to remain friends, Steve and Y/n both felt a lingering suspicion that they'd find their way back to each other.

masterlist - PART ONE - PART TWO

A/N: I initially planned to morph this together with the Hopper storyline I'm planning, but then I rewatched ep 4 (Dear Billy) and felt too inspired to hold out. I think I might like to turn this into a series, but I'll see how it goes haha But there will definitely be at least one more part after this to wrap up the Hopper storyline! xx

May, 1985

Twenty minutes had passed since the ceremony ended and Y/n and Steve met up by his car in the now half-empty parking lot. He had been leaning back against the hood of BMW, only just standing up when he saw her approaching him, alone just as he suspected.

"Your dad?"

He felt the need to ask anyways. They only graduated from High School once. Maybe Jim Hopper had finally came to his senses. For his girlfriend's sake, Steve always hope that would be the case, however unlikely he still thought it was.

"Nope," Y/n answered plainly, shaking her head once. Even after the countless reminders and the note on fridge and on the counter, he still didn't come. She didn't mind too much, though.

At least El still came with her friends, as well as Nancy and Jonathan. And at least she still had Steve and the plans they made for the night. She had a life outside sitting in an empty house and wallowing now. A chosen family outside the one she was stuck with.

"What about your parents?"

Steve shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, a frown appearing for just a split second. Then he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer until the space between them no longer existed.

"Fuck 'em," he whispered to her, smirking as he leaned in closer.

"Yeah," she laughed, interlocking her fingers together behind his neck. She met his determined gaze with one of her own. "Fuck 'em."

Though they spent many nights shit-talking their parents, they came to an understanding that this night would be different. Steve drove them to the little diner over by the post office and got them burgers and shakes to eat by the lookout- something they only ever did on special occasions.

The sun had almost sunk into the horizon when they finished eating and opted to hold hands and watch the sky go dark and streetlights illuminate. It was only a matter of time before Tina's graduation party kicked off. However, Y/n slipped her hand away for a moment and pulled something out from her bag.

"I got you something," she grinned, handing him a folded artcle of clothing wrapped in silver ribbon. Steve undid the bow and held it up to reveal a sweater in his exact size and in almost the same shade of maroon as his car. Y/n added, "- to replace the one I lost."

"The one you stole and lost?"

He couldn't even pretend to be annoyed. Though he really liked that red sweater, he loved seeing her in it so much more, even if it was just for a day. Steve's tone was only ever teasing and playful when it came to her. Even so, she narrowed her eyes and scoffed, hitting his arm softly before slipping her hand back into his.

"The one I borrowed and then lost," she corrected. "C'mon, try it on."

Y/n smiled as she watched him, her eyes flickering in the spit moment his shirt rode up from changing sweaters. Luckily, he didn't seem to notice. She knew he would have teased her for it had he seen.

After fixing his collar, Steve stretched his arms out in front of him before holding his wrist up to his nose. Y/n couldn't quite make out his emotion as he scrunched his brows and smiled.

"What's wrong?"

Steve dropped his hand and shook his head. He reach out and pulled her close to him once more, wherein he realised his suspicions became confirmed. Y/n watched him closely, amused by his weird demeanour. He shook his head, his smile never faltering.

"Nothing," he assured her. "It just... It smells like you."

"Oh, sorry, I think I accidentally sprayed some of my perfume on it when I was getting ready this morning."

"I like it," Steve whispered, his hand pressed against her cheek, pulling her in for a long kiss. He drew in a long breath, only exhaling when they finally parted. He imagined his heaven probably smelling the same. "Vanilla?"

"It's from Avon," Y/n shrugged. "I can't remember the name."

He pecked her lips quickly before reaching into his pocket. The plan was to not do graduation gifts, but Steve knew his girlfriend too well to believe she would pass up the chance to get him something. Her expression made clear that the feeling was mutual.

"I got you something too."

Y/n's wide and excited grin morphed into bewilderment as Steve held up a velvet box and opened it to reveal a silver ring. She always imagined it would be happen, but always thought he was smart. enough not to do it when they were 18 and fresh out of high school. If her dad disapproved of him before, he was going to be livid now.

"Steve," Y/n croaked, her eyes wide open jumping back and fourth between the pretty ring and her even prettier boyfriend. "Baby, I say this with so much love, but are you fucking insane?"

He bursted into a fit of laughter. He contemplated a less misleading way of presenting his gift, but decided he wanted to see how she'd react knowing it would play out exactly as it did.

"Oh, don't get ahead of yourself," Steve teased. He had every intention of popping the question, but a little further down the line when he had a more stable job than scoops ahoy. "I'm not proposing... yet."

His gaze was intense and determined, as if to punctuate just how serious he was. There was no one else for him. He knew that. Even more-so after spending a drunken night in his car with someone else a month ago. There was no one like his Y/n.

"It's a promise ring," Steve clarified.

If any of the guys on the basketball team, particularly Billy Hargrove, caught wind of what he was doing, Steve knew he would get teased until the end of his days. But he could not think of a more perfect gift fir her, especially now that they weren't going to be just goofy high schoolers who enjoyed each others company.

"A promise ring?" Y/n repeated, narrowing her eyes as her smile grew wider. She never considered herself someone who bought into the cheesy couple stuff, but he was constantly challenging that. "Are you making a promise to me?"

"Yeah, here, let me do this properly," he spoke, taking the ring out from the box and holding her left hand up, trying to remember how they did it in that chick flick she made him watch with her. "Y/n Hopper, I promise to love and honour you. I promise to do everything I can to keep you safe and make you happy. And I promise to get you an even nicer ring when I get down on one knee."

After he slipped the ring on her middle finger, she wrapped his arms around him and kissed him gleefully. She was never the best at showing affection, but Steve... Steve was so good at it. She was always happiest when he was with her. Always felt safest when his arms were around her.

"I love you so much, baby," he murmured against her lips.

"I love you too," she responded, with such an ease that never failed to make Steve's heart soar. Everything she did seemed to have that effect on him.

As the sky grew darker, Steve began to dread having to go to Tina's party. Just about every senior was going to be there, drunk of their asses, and the only senior he wanted to spend his Friday night with was the one in his arms.

"Maybe we should just go to mine. Have a movie night instead," he suggested nonchalantly, hoping she would agree. The way she narrowed her eyes said otherwise.

"Steve."

"What, you still wanna go to the party?"

When they first started dating, back when they were sophomores, he was always the one trying to convince her to go to house parties and basketball games with him. Then, at the star of their Senior year, she suddenly decided she wanted to make the most of the high school experience, whilst Steve was just about sick of it all.

"Um, yes! C'mon it's our last high school party," she reasoned. "I wanna dance with you... and kiss you... and get very drunk so I have an excuse to sleep at your place tonight."

"You know you don't need an excuse."

His days at home were typically spent alone, so any opportunity to have company, especially his favourite girl, Steve welcomed eagerly.

"Oh, I don't?" Y/n grinned, her brow raised in amusement.

"You just gotta look me in the eyes and say please."

His tone was teasing. She rolled her eyes playfully, before pressing her temple against his and she could see the specks of green in his eyes. Steve felt his knees weaken.

"Pleaase," she sang.

"How do I say no to a face that pretty?"

Or a girl so perfect, he thought to himself. Though Steve had grown to resent the party scene, he knew he was going to follow her wherever she went, whether gleefully or begrudgingly.

"I need you to do one thing for me before we leave though," he added, turning around and getting into the car briefly. Y/n watched curiously as he put a new tape into the player and rolled both windows down completely before pressing play and stepping out. "Dance with me."

He wrapped one arm firm around her waist and held her right hand up with his left. They swayed silently for just a moment, when a realisation hit Y/n.

"I love this song," she gasped.

Steve chuckled and pulled her closer. It only took a month of dating her for him to realise she loved one specific Bee Gees song more than any other song in existence. Every inch of her lit up when it played.

"There's a light, a certain kind of light," Y/n sang, looking at Steve with the goofy grin she only ever had when she was around him. "... That never shone on me."

"I'm not singing with you," he warned, knowing how easy it was for her to get carried away when she was singing into her fist like it was a microphone. Y/n continued on, neither convinced nor fazed.

"You don't know what it's like," she belted, holding her fist in between them after noticing the smile he was stifling. Steve sighed and leaned in just before the next line played.

"Baby, you don't know what it's like!" They sang in unison, swaying slowly to the beat of the song. "To love somebody. To love somebody. The way I love you."

She couldn't remember when it started or why it was this way, but that one particular song always made her heart soar. For those short three minutes, she felt her worries fade and all the best parts of life only glow brighter.

As they continued to sway under the dimly lit lamppost by the lookout, Y/n realised Steve made her feel the exact same way.

***

March 21, 1986

“Say hi to her for me, ok?... Her and Joyce!”

Mike put Y/n letter to El in his backpack before turning around and heading for the door. It was the last errand he needed to run before his flight to California the next morning.

“I will,” he responded as he waved goodbye and left the video store.

Once he was gone, Y/n turned to the clock hanging above the doorway and sighed before joining Robin behind the counter.

“He’s late again,” Y/n complained.

“Guess which babe it was this time," Robin snickered, flicking through the box of returned films.

“Oh god, I don’t even wanna know," she groaned quietly while she rummaged through her bag. The second Steve showed up, she was going to head straight home and get some rest, hoping by time she wakes up her headache will finally be gone.

“What are you looking for?”

“My aspirin, I think I might’ve dropped the bottle somewhere,” Y/n explained, growing frustrated as she resorted to emptying her bag on the counter. Her head had been pounding for the last hour.

“Oh, I think I have some! I’ll go get it for you.”

“Thanks, Robin."

Y/n let out a grateful sigh and began putting her things back into her bag while Robin went to the back room. Just as she finished clearing the counter, the bell by the door rang and a disheveled Steve bursted in with an apologetic frown.

“Sorry I’m late,” he huffed.

“It’s fine,” Y/n said plainly, granting him only a moment’s glance before turning back to her bag and clocking out.

Steve attributed it to the fact that he was always late to his Saturday shifts. He tried not to take her indifferent demeanour too personally, but it was becoming increasingly hard. Things were so different between them. Maybe he was partly to blame, but how could he ever know if she barely spoke to him?

Robin came out from the back room, the bottle of aspirin in her hand. She resumed her spot next to Y/n behind the counter when the sight of Steve sidetracked her completely.

“Oh, you’re here! How was Kathy G?”

Steve had developed a habit of taking a girl out on Friday night and then showing up to his Saturday shift late. Y/n only knew because Robin kept her in the loop. Hearing about it sent her stomach into knots, but she couldn’t resist finding out more.

“Y-you went out with Kathy last night?”

Y/n hated how her voice trembled, though it gave Steve some semblance of hope. She was finally looking him in the eye.

“Uh, yeah,” he answered, visibly uncomfortable. “I would’ve told you about it… yknow, if I had gotten to see you any other time this week.”

Y/n was not oblivious to the hint of annoyance in his tone. It infuriated her in a way she had never experienced before, much less from him.

“I’m here right now, aren’t I?”

“You want me to tell you about it right now?” Steve asked, slightly intimidated.

“We are friends after all, aren’t we?”

Y/n gritted her teeth. She knew she was doing a terrible job at being friendly, but it was never her idea to begin with. Robin stepped forward in an attempt to mitigate the passive aggression and tension.

“So how’d it go?”

“It was… nice,” Steve answered, his eyes darting between Y/n and Robin. “We had burgers at the outlook.”

His stomach turned. He didn’t enjoy lying to them every Saturday, but it had become a force of habit. He especially hated this specific lie, knowing it was a special tradition he and Y/n had. Even so, Steve still hoped it would provoke some kind of reaction from her.

“I should go now, my bus should be arriving soon,” Y/n announced monotonously, looking only to Robin as she spoke.

“Are you doing something?”

“No I’m just heading home,” she answered as she turned around from the opposite side of the counter.

Steve watched her closely as she waved bye to Robin and then went to turn back around, only to stop halfway when she saw the television.

“Oh my god,” Y/n gasped.

Robin turned the volume up and the three of them witnessed in horror as the news reporter announced a suspicious death in the trailer park not far from where Y/n’s cabin was.

Her hand shook as she reached for the counter and leaned against it to steady her. It had been so long since anything suspicious happened, Y/n had naïvely assumed they were in the clear.

“I can take you home when Robin and I finish,” Steve offered, if not because he could tell how shaken up she was then because he was also scared of what this meant for her safety.

Y/n nodded gratefully, though her eyes remained glued to the screen. Not long after, the doorbell rang and the three of them jumped only to see Dustin and Max rushing in.

“Steve. Y/n,” the young boy huffed, speeding up to the counter with Max closely behind him.

“Did you guys see?” Steve asked, gesturing to the television. Neither of them were fazed, which only confirmed to the other three that they had.

“How many phones do you guys have?” Dustin asked panickedly.

“Uh, three if you count Keith’s at the back,” Y/n answered, glancing over to Robin who nodded.

By the time she turned back to Dustin, he had already tossed his bag of the counter and was jumping over it to get to the computer. Y/n and Max went around and came up on the other side of the computer.

“Woah, what are you doing?!” Steve shrieked, picking up the tapes Dustin had knocked over.

“Setting up base of operations.”

“Base of operations?”

Dustin rolled hiseyes and groaned at Steve’s questioning. He began typing on the computer and going through the rental system, too focused on the task at hand to give a proper explanation himself.

“Max, fill them in while I do this.”

“Fill us in on what?” Y/n asked nervously.

Max spent the next ten minutes giving the three of them a brief summary of everything she and Dustin had pieced together. Afterwards, Steve tended to the customers while Max and Robin grabbed the phones so they and Y/n could start ringing around for Eddie’s whereabouts.

Barely five minutes had passed and Y/n had to give herself a break. The rining in her ear was making it increasingly difficult to focus on who she was supposed to be contacting and the information she was supposed to get out of them.

“Um, Robin, do you have the-“

“Oh yeah, yeah! Here,” Robin held her hand out and gave Y/n the aspirin finally. She took it and went to the fridge to grab a bottle of water, making a mental note to ring it up and pay for it before they closed up shop. By the time she turn around and twisted both caps open, Steve appeared at her side.

“Are you ok?”

Y/n never liked taking pain medication, even over the counter stuff, unless of course she felt it absolutely necessary. It was one of many anxieties she developed after witnessing her dad fall off into the deep end. Steve knew this and worried if she’d be ok to spend the afternoon looking for Eddie with the rest of them.

“I’m fine,” Y/n answered flatly.

“Look about what I said ealier,” he began. It had only been twenty minutes or so since he lied about taking Kathy G out to the lookout, but the guilt was already eating away at him.

“Hey guys, I might have a lead," Max called out.

Y/n didn’t think twice before turning away from Steve and returning to the counter, leaving him out in the could yet again.

***

March 23, 1986

Y/n, Steve, Robin, Nancy, Dustin and Max sat at the secluded picnic table in the trailer park, trying to piece together the story behind Chrissy and now Fred’s mysterious deaths. Y/n rested her elbows on the table and leaned into her hands as she listened in on the discussion, too drained to contribute anything herself.

Max was in the middle of speaking when Steve foundnhis attention divided between what the young girl was saying and why Y/n had her head in her hands. Even in her worst hangovers, she never looked this bad. He knew something was wrong.

"If you saw a monster, you... you wouldn't go to the police,” Max explained. “They'd never believe you. You'd go to your-"

"Your shrink,” Robin chimed.

Everyone stood from the table to find the school counsellor and get what information they could from her. Y/n was the last to stand and leave. As she approached Steve’s car, he pulled her aside.

"Y/n, are you ok?”

His was sterner than it was the millions of times he asked her this question before. He always hated how stubborn she could get, especially when it came to admitting she was less than fine.

"I'm fine, Steve.”

Y/n attempted to push past him, but her grabbed her wrist and kept her from doing so. She spun around. To hell with the delicate approach, Steve though. If something was going on with her he wanted to know. He needed to know.

"You look terrible,” he argued, concerned by how tired she looked. “Did you get any sleep?”

“I’m fine!”

Y/n snatched her hand away and walked to the car, ready to take the backseat just as she did on the way there. While she knew Steve was coming from a place of genuine concern, she didn’t know what was going on with her and didn’t trust herself to vent to him about it without overstepping a boundary.

He groaned quietly as he watched Y/n walk away. Steve wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. She was acting so out of character and had been for a while, but the last few days were particularly noteworthy.

If asking her upfront wasn’t doing the trick, Steve wondered if agigtating Y/n would work. When he saw Nancy continue walking down the road, he saw his opportunity to do just that.

"Nance. Nance, where you going?"

Y/n furrowed her brows as she watched Steve follow after her. Not to mention, something about the way he called her Nance made Y/n feel like she was just punched in the stomach.

"There's just something I wanna check first," Nancy explained.

"Are you out of your mind? Flying solo with Vecna on the loose? It's too dangerous, you need someone to..."

Y/n felt queasy. Someone to protect you, was that what Steve was planning on saying? She needed to know but desperately wanted to remain in oblivion.

"Here, I'll stick with Nance,” he announced, turning back to the rest of them and tossing his keys towards Robin. “You guys take the car and check out the shrink."

"I don't have a license."

"Why?"

"Because I'm poor."

Steve sighed and glanced over to Y/n. Her brows shot up as her eyes widened.

She could tolerate watching him flirt with other girls. She’d witnessed it plenty of times at the video store. However, driving his car and going on a mission to break and enter into a school counselors house all so he could have alone time with Nancy Wheeler? That man had a death wish.

"You want me to drive?"

The offense in her tone was as clear as day, and Steve was at the very least glad to have gotten a reaction from her. Even if it resulted in her glaring right at him. He didn’t realise he missed that.

"Okay, this is stupid. Us ladies will stick together," Robin sighed, handing Steve his keys back and walking over to Nancy, Y/n following after her.

"Y/n, you too?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna go with Robin and Nance,” she muttered, plastering a fake smile through her gritted teeth.

"Wh- Y/n!" Steve reach out for her, but she sped away. He had definitely agitated her, but it all seemed pointless now that he had no way of capitalising off it and getting to the bottom of what was going on.

“Nice going, Steve,” Dustin commented sarcastically, earning a middle finger from him as he begrudgingly unlocked the car.

After getting the key to the basement archives, Nancy, Robin and Y/n spent over an hour scouring through the files and papers for something and anything related to the house fire.

Y/n was shuffling through boxes in a secluded corner of the basement when Nancy came up and stood by her, going through the archives near by. They were silent for a while, until Nancy cleared her throat.

"Hey, I don't know why Steve was acting weird earlier," she began honestly.

"No one does,” Robin added as she passed through to get to the other side of the basement.

"And I know you two are technically not together, but I hope you know I would never make a move-"

“I know,” Y/n answered softly.

Thought they had only become friends through having to uncover and battle interdimensional monsters thrice, Y/n counted their friendship as one she would have for the long run. She knew Nancy would never do something like that.

“Just in case there’s any tension-“

"You didn't do anything wrong, Nancy,” Y/n assured her. “I just... Things are complicated with me and him right now."

Nancy frowned. She knew her and Steve were going through something, but had never seen them act so passive aggressive and distant with each other. Even so, that was the least of her worries.

"But... we're ok, right?"

After Barb, Y/n was probably the closest thing Nancy had to a best friend. Though a good chuck of their friendship could be attributed to trauma bonding, Nancy knew she could count on Y/n for just about anything. She hoped the feeling was mutual.

"Yeah, we are," Y/n smiled warmly, giving Nancy the assurance she needed to go back to flicking through newspaper archives.

Once Robin uncovered an article from the 50s about the house fire, the three of them raced to the high school to meet up with other three who claimed to have made a massive breakthrough.

The second Nancy parked her car outside the school, the three of them raced inside, bursting through the doors and running rapidly towards Miss Kelley’s office.

However, when they passed through a dead-emd corridor, the bottom of Y/n’s shoes squeaked as she stopped dead in her tracks. Though it may have been quite some time since she was last running through those corridors, Y/n was certain there was never a grandfather clock embedded diagonally onto the wall.

"Y/n, c'mon the office is this way," Robin said and she gently pulled on her arm. Y/n didn’t budge, prompting Nancy to backtrack as well and join Robin in trying to get her attention.

"Y/n?"

The grandfather clock was chiming, and Y/n couldn’t peel her eyes off of it. It looked so real. There was something about that was pulling her in, inviting her in, whether or not she wanted to go.

"Y/n!"

She felt someone shake her shoulders and finally blinked. When her eyes opened again, she looked to the end of the corridor and realised the clock had vanished.

"I’m sorry, I…”

She could’ve sworn it was there. It was right there. She saw it ticking and heard it chime.

“Are you ok?” Nancy asked, standing at Y/n’s other side and placing her hand on her shoulder. “You were staring at the wall for like five whole minutes.”

“Yeah, I’m ok… I just thought I saw something.”

Y/n stepped away from Robin and Nancy and continued down the corridor, her thoughts beginning to overwhelm her as she tried not to think about what that was and what it meant for her.

The other caught up to her just as she turned for Miss Kelley’s office, where Max, Steve Dustin were sitting and waiting.

Files were splattered across Miss Kelley’s desk and Max stood behind it all and explained everythin to the rest of them. The first thing she talked about was how both Fred and Chrissy died within 24 hours of their first vision.

Immediately, Y/n felt a growing suspicion her time was running out.

"Fred and Chrissy, they both came to Miss Kelley for help. Both were having headaches, bad headaches that wouldn't go away. And then the nightmares. Trouble sleeping. Cold sweats."

As Max continued to list of their symptoms, Y/n’s fears only grew. She'd had a headache for about 5 days. Trouble sleeping for the past few. Her cold sweats started yesterday. It was a textbook case of Vecna's curse.

"... And then they'd start seeing things. Bad things. From their pasts."

Y/n stood up from her chair and began pacing the room, tears forming in her eyes as she came to realise her fate. Max furrowed her brows, concerned and confused along with the rest of them.

"Y/n, are you ok?"

"It's me,” she whispered, her voice breaking. Her throat tightened as she looked between the rest of them. “…I'm next."

"What're you talking about, Y/n?" Steve asked, rising from his chair and instinctively standing at her side.

"I-I've been having it,” she explained to him and the rest of the group. “All of it. The headaches and the nightmares. I couldn't sleep at all last night. And... and I saw this clock.”

"And you think it was a vision?"

"I know it was," Y/n gulped. "It was... like sinking into the wall and it was ringing and I... I couldn't stop staring at it. Then the ringing got louder and louder and then it just... It just vanished. Like was never there to begin with."

Max exchanged an alarmed look with Dustin. She looked back to Y/n, terrified for her.

"When did you see it?"

Y/n glanced at Robin and Nancy who seemed to have already figured that part out. It was all piecing together now, only in the worst way she could have possibly imagined.

"... On our way in here,” she confessed quietly. She looked up at Steve and then glanced over to the rest of them. "Looks like I'm gonna be dying tomorrow."

***

March 24, 1986 - 2PM

Steve knocked three times on Y/n’s front door and tapped his foot repeatedly against the wodden porch as he waited impatiently, Dustin and and max standing with folded arms behin him.

He should have stayed with her. When Steve drove Y/n home the night before, he offered to stay with her in case anything happened overnight. She insisted that she was fine and Steve grew agitated with hearing those words, he just drove away.

Now, he had counted 53 seconds of waiting for her to get to the door, and with every passing second he felt his heart beat harder. Should’ve stayed with her, he repeated to himself.

When he got up to 70 seconds, Steve swore he was going to break down the door soon. His grudge against her didn't matter anymore. He just wanted to know she was ok. That he still had time. Thankfully, by the time he reached 87, he heard the chain on the door detach.

"You're here."

Y/n swung the door open and smiled, trying to conceal how out of breath she was.

Not only had she spent the last 13 hours going through everything in the cabin and then the last half an hour trying to pull herself together emotionally. If this was her last day of living, she didn't want to waste another hour crying.

Steve sighed in relief. She was still here.

"Yeah, well, we found out last night that you might get attacked by a demon monster-"

"Vecna," Dustin interrupted, only to get completely ignored by Steve.

"-today, so sue me for wanting to get here as early as I could."

"It's the middle of the day, Steve," Y/n commented playfully.

"I had to pick up these shitheads along the way."

"Well, I'm glad you're all here," Y/n chirped, before Dustin could fire a comeback. She held the door open and gestured them inside. "Come in."

While Dustin and Max were taken aback to see how different the cabin was set up, Steve felt nostalgic. He spent most of his free time in the fall helping her clean out the cabin. It looked similar to how he remembered it, only ever so slightly empty.

"Woah, cool lava lamp Y/n!"

Max darted towards the coffee table where Y/n had accumulated a small pile of some of her things from when she was still in middle school.

"You can have it, Max," she said nonchalantly.

"Really?"

Y/n nodded before pulling Steve aside and leading him into her room. He followed her and tried to study her expression closely, but her demeanour was practically unreadable.

"Did you wanna hang out here?" He asked her quietly, glancing at the door to Hopper's room on his way into hers. "Because I thought maybe we could go someplace that's not so..."

He didn't know how to explain it without potentially sounding like a jerk. Steve just knew how much the cabin reminded Y/n of her Dad and of El, even after rearranging things. Considering Vecna was known to zero in on its victim's traumas, he hardly considered this the best place to be while Y/n was being targeted.

"No that sounds good," Y/n agreed, as she kept her back turned and bent down in front of her closet to get something off the ground. "We can leave now, I just wanna give you something first."

When she turned back to face him, she held out a large box filled to the brim with all sorts of things. Steve's brows knitted together as he took it from her and placed it on her desk. He started to go through the box's contents and gasped when he held up his old red sweater.

"Oh my god, I knew you had it!"

Y/n fought back tears as she smiled and watched him continue to go through the box. There were so many things she came across that reminded her of him. She couldn't believe it was ending today. She had always thought they'd be together again someday.

Steve pulled out his old sweater and baseball cap and froze entirely when he saw a piece of silver glimmering from where it lay buried beneath old love notes. He slowly reached in and held it up.

The promise ring.

"I though um-... Didn't you say last year you lost it?"

She lost it only two weeks after being given it. She told Steve how she worried it was an omen, but he laughed it off and assured her they were going to be ok. The week after, she found the lacy bra in the backseat of his car.

"I found it when I cleaned out the cabin last year, after... you know."

Y/n found it beneath her bed and slipped it into her pocket before Steve saw. She knew it was silly to want to keep it, considering they weren't together anymore, but she didn't have it in her to give it up just yet. Not when there was still a chance things could turn around.

Steve put the ring back into the box and fished his hand through everything else that was in there.

The notes he used to pass to her in class. The camera he gifted her for her 17th birthday. Polaroids of them together in his car, in their favourite diner, at a high school party and at prom. Every teddy bear he got her for valentines day.

She had held onto so many remnants of their relationship this whole time. The fact that she was only now giving it up made his stomach drop. She may as well be saying goodbye to him then and there.

"Y/n, why are giving this to me?"

"I don't know," she shrugged and then, after a moment, sighed and met his gaze. Y/n had never seen him look at her like that. "Look, I don't have a will or any close family nearby, so I don't know what's gonna happen to the cabin or everything in here. I wanna at least make sure you get your stuff back."

"Nothing's gonna happen to you," he stated firmly, putting the box down and stepping away from it.

"Steve."

"I'm not letting anything happen to you.”

Y/n furrowed her brows as they stood in silence, their eyes never leaving each other's. She knew he was gonna do everything to keep her safe. That was the one part of his promise Steve never broke. However, Y/n also knew that there was a good enough chance it might not be enough.

When she finally looked away, it was to turn to her bed and the second box she had packed things into. Despite Steve's reaction and the way he was still looking at her, Y/n held out the box to him.

"This one is for El," Y/n explained. In that box, she packed some of her jewellery she though El might like, all of the photos she had of them together, all the letters she wrote to her from California and the keys to Hopper's truck that Y/n never quite gained the courage to start using herself. When Steve didn't take the box, she put it down on her desk, right beside his. "Will you make sure she gets it?"

"Y/n, stop," he shuddered.

Steve couldn't do it. He couldn't just accept that this was going to be his last day with her. He couldn't accept this ending. But then she looked at him the way she did, her eyes glazed over and lips a quivering mess.

"Steve, please," she whimpered.

He took one look at her and sighed.

"... Ok."

Steve stacked both boxes on top of each other before carrying them both out. He hadn't given up on her yet, not even close. But if taking the boxes was what she needed from him in that moment, that's exactly what Steve was going to do.

Y/n sighed in relief before following him out to his car with Dustin and Max following behind her.

As the three of them approached the BMW and Steve opened the back to put the boxes away, he noticed Y/n standing silently and staring back at her home. She wondered if she should even bother to lock it.

Steve strode up to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. The night before, he had sworn off asking her if she was ok, having grown tired of getting the same answer. But today, he said to hell with it. He would ask her a million times over if it meant knowing for sure she was alright.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I think I just need a second."

Steve nodded and walked back to the car. She right where he could see her, and he tried to cast his worries away if only for a moment.

"What's that?" Dustin asked, pointing to the boxes Steve had put in the trunk of his car.

"Nothing,” he answered, slamming it shut before anyone else could go through it.

Dustin and Max spent the next few minutes talking to Steve about theories they had for dealing with Vecna. He listened as best he could but found himself looking over at Y/n every few seconds.

When he noticed the sky starting to turn orange, he glanced down at his wristwatch and decided it was time. Steve paced over to Y/n and tapped her shoulder once more.

"Y/n, I think we should leave now. Nancy and Robin are meeting us at the store,” he explained, before getting a good look at her and realising she was unresponsive. He shook her shoulders and panicked as her eyes turned grey. "Y/n!"

Dustin and Max darted over the instant they heard Steve’s shriek. The two of them quickly joined the older boy in shouting Y/n’s name and trying to get her back.

"Y/n, c'mon, don't do this," Steve pleaded as he paced his hands on both her shoulders and shook her profusely. "Y/n! Y/n!"

When the shouting and shaking didn’t make a difference, Dustin ran to the car and grabbed his handheld to call Nancy and Robin for help. Max and Steve continued on with the shouting and shaking and did so for a few minutes until Dustin told the to stop.

The younger boy raced towards them, the phone still gripped in his hand.

"Steve, you need to play her favourite song."

"What? W-Why?"

"There's no time to explain, just play her favourite song!”

Steve’s breathing wuickened as he tried to think straight. What was that song she really liked? How was he going to play it? He glanced between her and his car and saw the answer clear as day.

“Oh! Oh, I know!”

Steve sprinted to his car and rummaged through glove box before he found the right casette. Then, after leaning over to turn his car on, he pressed play then skipped to track three, ‘To Love Somebody’ by the Bee Gees, and finally turned the volume dial until it couldn’t turn any further.

Dustin and Max caught on to his plan and rolled down the windows. By the time the song was playing, they got out of the to return to Y/n, and she began levitating off the ground.

“It’s time, Y/n.”

Vecna had her tangled up in vines and inched close as she struggled against it. The figure lifted its hand up and reached forwards. Y/n closed her eyes tightly, bracing herself for her doom. Then, she heard the music.

She opened her eyes and saw the figure step back. This wasn’t part of his torture, she realised. Y/n turned her head as far right as she could and saw a portal opening. She could barely just make out the cabin, her floating mid-air and Steve, Max and Dustin below her.

“They can’t save you, Y/n.”

Vecna held its hand out once more and reach closer and closer to Y/n’s temple. She closed her eyes again, but this time so she muster the energy to break free and run.

As the music picked up and the chorus echoed in her head, she started to remember the better moments off her life. The parts that made her heart soar everytime she recounted it.

She thought of last Christmas in California with El and the Byers. She rembered her and El eating ice cream on her bed and laughing about how stupid boys were. Painting each other’s nails. Eating eggos on the the nights it was just them two. She remembered the first girls night Nancy insisted she and Y/n have, when they dipped into her mom’s good wine.

She remembered her and Steve dancing on the outlook the night of their graduation. Kissing in his car. Dancing under almost every streetlight in Hawkins, despite his initial protests. All the times he made her feel like the most special person in the world, even when she had been convinced she was the opposite.

Her thoughts trailed further back to the days she and Sara played hide and seek in the park. To the night the two of them snuck out of bed and saw their parents slow dancing in the living room. She remembered the way her dad laught when she stood on his feet when they danced while Sara did so with their mother.

Vecna had it all wrong.

Y/n’s eyes shot open as she broke free from Vecna’s grasp. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she was sprinting for dear life, her eyes fixated on the opening. On Steve. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, but running towards Steve was always her safest bet. Wherever he was, was always the safest place she could be.

“Y/n!” The three of them screamed.

She landed roughly on the ground, knocking Steve down with her, as she immediately began to shake. Without giving it a second thought, he shuffled forward and hugged Y/n tightly from behind. Only then did her shaking begin to settle.

“Oh my god,” she cried as she looked around, grateful to be back but so incredibly horrified by the bullet she narrowly dodged.

The four of their cries filled the air as Steve held Y/n while Dustin and Max sat on opposite sides and huffed, relieved that they were able to save her.

"I thought you were gone, baby,” Steve whispered shakily.

Tears streamed down his cheecks as he tried to steady his breath, his grip on Y/n remaining as tight as possible. He wasn’t gonna let her again. Not like he did last summer and not like her did in the fall.

"I'm here,” Y/n cried as she reach her hands up and felt his skin against her fingertips. “I’m here.”

She leaned further back into his chest and wept, her brain not yet convinced she was back home. Y/n squeezed her eyes shut and just focused on Steve’s touch and embrace.

She was in his arms. She was ok. Safe, she told herself, in an attempt to slow the rapid beating of her heart. Safe, she repeated. As Steve's embrace around her frame grew tighter, it became easier to believe.

She was safe now.

***

March 24, 1986 - 9PM

Steve carried Y/n’s duffel bag up the stairs and into his bedroom, placing it on the ground in front of his closet doors once he was inside. He turned back to her and huffed, his small smile remaining persistent, grateful she agreed to staying at his place for the night. Y/n did not need much convincing after the close call with Vecna.

“I’d let you have the guest room, but you know how weird my mom is about it-“

“It’s ok.”

Y/n smiled as she sat down cautiously on the edge of his bed. She knew his mom liked to keep the guest room immaculate, which was fine by her. She preferred Steve’s bedroom, anyways.

“Ok, well, I'll call you when the pizza gets here.”

He folded up his comforter and and stacked his pillow on top. Y/n watched him closely, her expression faltered.

“You’re not staying here?”

She assumed he would stay with her for the night. In fact, she hoped he would. Steve’s face softened when he glanced up at her, sensing how nervous she felt. He put his comforter down and sat down beside her.

“I’ll just be on the couch downstairs, don’t worry.”

Y/n held his gaze and felt her heart pound. She wanted to ask him to stay. After everything that happened earlier, she was terrified of going to sleep. But her fear of getting turned down again kept her silent.

She nodded, prompting Steve to stand back up and resume taking his things down.

Y/n turned away and found herself looking around his room. It had been so long since she last spent the night there, but itfelt like she never left. Her eyes scanned nightstand and landed on a small bottle that seemed familiar.

As Steve went to leave, he stopped in his track when he saw her pick it up, her eyes widened and lips perked when she read the label.

“Steve, is this… the same perfume I use?”

Y/n held the nozzle up to her nose and knew immediately she was right. She looked back to Steve who had already placed his bedding back down for a second time.

“I don’t know, is it?” He laughed nervously.

“Steve.”

Y/n’s tone was gentle. She narrowed her eyes and resisted the urge to smile, completely unconvinced that he just happened to have a bottle of her perfume lying around for no reason. She already began to have her suspicions as to why.

Steve sighed, then cleared his throat as he nervously averted his eyes from hers.

“I might’ve bought one last year so my sweaters could always smell a little bit like you,” he confessed sheepishly.

He had spent days trying to find the right one, and when he did he didn’t think twice before ordering a bottle of his own.

“… Is that weird?”

“No, it’s… it’s not,” Y/n smiled, shaking her head as she put the perfume back on the nightstand.

Silently, Steve took slow steps and sat down beside her again. Tension filled the space between them. She watched intently as he moved, wet his lips and then finally meet her gaze.

Nervously, he spoke, “Can I ask you something?”

Y/n nodded hesistantly. Judging from his demeanour and the way his hands were restless, she had an idea of what his question was.

“Why didn’t you tell me? About what you were going through with Vecna’s curse?”

He didn’t speak with passive aggression. Only concern. They had known each other for so long and in ways no one else did. He wasn’t used to being left out of the loop when it came to her.

“I don’t know,” Y/n whispered.

Steve sighed, clearly discontented with her answer. She didn’t know what else to say. In ordinary circumstances, Steve would have been the first person she told. But things were different between them. Y/n couldn’t make any sense of it, then and even now.

“C’mon, Y/n, you do know. Because you’ve been lying to me all week about it.”

“I haven’t been lying to you, Steve,” she argued. “I just didn’t know of it was something we could talk about as friends.”

He scoffed and turned his head away, too annoyed by it all to keep biting his tongue. Y/n furrowed her brows, frustrated by how dismissive he was being.

She muttered something quietly beneath her breath. Steve whipped his head back, not quite catching what it was.

“What was that?”

“I said maybe if you hadn’t been so busy hitting on every 'babe' in Hawkins-“

“That's not fair, Y/n,” he retorted. “You’re saying I've been busy?”

Y/n laughed dryly. If the shoe fits, she thought to herself.

“You go on dates with new girls every Friday night,” she said pointedly. “And the only reason I know is because you always show up late to your Saturday shifts and I have to wait and cover for you.”

Her voice grew louder as did her anger. She didn’t know which part she was more annoyed with- the fact that Steve was dating other girls so frequently, or the fact that she had to bear witness every Saturday like she was an insignificant afterthought.

“So, what, you’re pissed I show up a couple minutes late? That’s why you’ve stopped talking to me for months?”

“First of all,” Y/n scoffed, “you showed up half an hour late last Friday and second of all, I haven’t stopped talking to you…We’ve just stopped having anything to talk about.”

"C’mon, Y/n,” Steve fired back bitterly. “Don’t act like you haven't been avoiding me for... what, the past three months?!"

Y/n kissed her teeth and shook her head. Steve wondered if she was denying it on purpose or if she seriously hadn’t realised how much she had been pushing him away.

"You changed your shifts around so I only ever see you on my way in or my way out, and you've all of a sudden insisted on taking the bus everywhere because I guess my car just isn't good enough for you, and anytime I try and talk to you, about this or about anything, you just brush me off like I'm a stranger."

Steve hated that part more than anything. He hated chasing after her attention and getting nothing but the cold shoulder in return.

"You don't think I noticed, but I have,” his voice quieted. “And it sucks, because... I thought we were friends."

And because I miss you.

"That’s just it, Steve!” Y/n cried, her frustration at an all-time high. “Did you ever think that maybe the reason I've been avoiding you is because... I don't know how to be your friend."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I don't know how to be ok when you talk about going on dates or when girls slip you their number when they come to the store with no intention of even renting a movie."

It was the very reason she changed her shifts.

"So, what... you're jealous?" Steve asked timidly.

“Of course, I’m jealous!”

Anyone who got to spend Friday night, holding his hand and making out with him at the lookout was someone Y/n envied greatly.

"Do you realise how fucking hard it is being around you?”

She felt her chest tighten and eyes sting as she started to choke up. She had been harbouring these feeling for far too long. She drew in a deep breath and then let it go.

“Especially when all I wanna do is hold your hand and ride shotgun in your car again and just be your stupid girlfriend... but I can't, because you wanted to stay friends."

Steve’s heart sank. He finally understood. He only wished he had known sooner. Sheepishly, Steve stared at his hands and then, after a moment, he glanced back up at the girl he still loved like crazy.

"I didn't know you felt this way."

But he wished he had. He wished he could have the last few months back. He wished he could have her back. Steve sighed defeatedly. Y/n shook her head and briefly ran her hands over wet cheeks.

“Would it have even made a difference?”

"Of course it would’ve, Y/n.”

How could she think otherwise, Steve wondered.

"Well then, why did you want to stay friends first place?" Y/n sniffled. "Why… why didn’t you say just yes when I said we should get back together?"

She asked him if he wanted to get back together near the end of September. By the time October rolled by, she was confused and heartbroken but pulled a brave face so he wouldn't know- fearful of losing him entirely if he ever did.

Steve's mouth set in a hard line as his brows rose and then drew together sorrowfully.

"You had just lost your dad, Y/n," he reasoned gently, not wanting to tread too abruptly with such a sore subject. "Not to mention, El had just moved away. It didn't feel right, and I didn't want to take advantage of the situation."

That was not the reason he stood outside her porch light. Steve did not help and comfort Y/n with the expectation of getting back together. He knew she was vulnerable and hurting and only ever wanted to be there for her and make sure she was alright.

“And what I did… cheating on you last summer," he gulped. "I know you said you forgave me, but I didn’t feel like I deserved it yet. I didn’t feel like I deserved you.”

Y/n was quiet for a moment as a short-lived sense of relief washed over her.

"I... I thought you just didn't... you know."

Want to be with me, she thought. In the many sleepless nights Y/n spent recounting that conversation, all she could think of was how he must’ve have fallen out of love. He must have had a change of heart. And it must’ve been because of something she did.

Steve shook his head profusely and shifted closer to her, kicking himself for not being upfront and honest with her from the start. Perhaps it would have saved them both a great deal of heartache.

"I’ve been lying for the last few months,” he confessed, relieved to finally get this off his chest. “Truth is, every date I've been on has been a shitshow. I'm usually home by 9 and then I just… spend the rest of the night thinking about all the ways they weren't you."

They were always nice, always laughed at his stupid jokes and always complimented his hair and his car. However, none of them knew him the way Y/n did. None of them forced him into singing along to the Bee Gees. None of them made his whole world glow bright and glisten the way Y/n did every time she so much as smiled, laughed or moaned his name against his lips.

The corners of Y/n lips quirked as she felt her cheeks grow warmer and warmer. He always did have that effect on her. She cleared her throat and shifted her body to face him, her knees brushing against his as she did so.

"That's... not something a friend would say to another friend."

Steve leaned closer until his forehead was only just pressed against her. When she escaped Vecna and fell back into his arms, he swore to himself he was not going to let her go again. Having her back in his room, mere inches away from him, only made Steve more determined to follow through.

"I really don't want be friends anymore,” he whispered, his eyes never leaving hers. Y/n leaned in further until their noses met. Steve's breath hitched as he watched her move in anticipation. She smiled softly, letting out the quietest laugh beneath her breath.

"Me neither."

Steve lifted his hand and held the side of her face, basking in the feeling of her skin beneath his fingertips. Slowly, they inched closer until their lips closed what was left of the space between them. Y/n closed her eyes and kissed him softly, unable to help herself when she felt the urge to grin. Steve lifted his other hand and held both sides of her face tenderly, wanting the moment to last for as long as it possibly could.

When they finally pulled apart, Y/n laughed breathlessly as she reach out and swiped remnants of her chapstick off the corners of Steve's lips. In that moment, he could have sworn the room was glowing.

NEXT PART

i do not give permission for any of my works to be copied, translated, or reposted onto another site.

#stranger things x reader #stranger things #stranger things imagine #steve x reader #steve #steve harrington #fanfiction #fanfic #fanfictions #imagine #fandom #one shot #x reader #hopper!reader

[ididgettomeetyou]

atla netflix thoughts

my thoughts on the removal of Sozins Comet

That is literally the opening of the trailer.. its going to prob make a big comeback in s3 .

The first big conflict of s1 was Zhao attacking the North Pole anyway.

Zhao being a more serious threat vs a cartoony one does make sense though i hope they keep I am Zhao The Moon Slayer ..

Zuko still looks to be hunting down the gaang as he's about to blast Aangs face off while talking to him in the earth kingdom.

Katara actress talking to Jet was so goood I could feel her pain: Innocent people are gonna die. *chefs kiss* Iroh and zuko banter of no plan and Zukos actor: I'm working on it uncle *so innocent and sweet sounding.. i love how it was delivered*

Katara and Aang splashing: cute

Aang petting Momo: cute

Sokka being sarcastic: Good

Suki line to sokka about the heart gave me Disney vibes thats been missing from disney moviesofigure

Ozais actor not too bad not too bad.. honestly he was so one note in the OG he can be improved.. thereisaidit.

Ozais angels prob could be fleshed out more

is Haru involved? that was agood ep for Katara..

there is no proof katara vs Pakku is taken out and if it is then i'll be annoyed that is way more interestsing than toning down sokkas seixsm.. but we dont got proof its removed . they said sokka sexism toned down not Pakku.

Sokka is not defined by sexism and im tird of people acting like sokka is sexist and nothing else. i got zero paitencefor this rince/repeat arguement .. suki/sokka bonding over being nonbenders is a better angle.. and cuter.. cantchangemymind.

The action scenes look fun..

if you think the movie is better i want nothing to do with you.. i just saw it and it was TRASH... yeah the netflix costumes look cheap but hey at lesat they have COLOR compared to disney La movies. where all color goes to die.

.

and if im disappointed by it thats fine really.. but i doubt it will be terrible juding off the trailers it has the spirt of atla.. at least to me.. Friendship : I'm gonna save the world with my friends/ You don't have to do this Alone/ If the world is going to have a chance its gonna need Aang/ people keep trying to gaslight me into thinking it wont have any spirit of atla bec of clickbait articles and im standing by the trailers... i trust the trailers way more than dumb clickbait artcles.

my only real criticism for atla netflix is

Ozai burning Zuko iand its mainly due to how.. Bad it looks.. the effects look bad maybe it will look better in the relased product but i just think it looks bad if it looks better maybe i wouldn't care i dunno

#atla netflix

[cannotfly]

RESEARCH AND RESOURCES.

these go over mainly victorian era subjects. i tried to find something for every character in the show, though this is 100% an ongoing list. feel free to ask for something in particular or send me questions about the resources here! this is forever a work in progress.

THE SHOW:

1982 proshot ( i very much recommend this version! the portrayal of johanna is not my favorite but an.gela l.ansbury is as wonderful as always and is very loyal to the original broadway production -- which is a positive and a negative )

2007 movie ( if you are just getting into this musical, i recommend watching the movie first. it'll get you into it. this is my favorite portrayal of johanna and anthony and where johanna's fc comes from. i have several gripes with the movie however and i only tell you to watch the movie first so you can enjoy it. you won't be able to after watching the musical. if you are senstive to large amounts of gore like i am, shoot me a message and i will give you timestamps to skip! )

1980 tour cast recording

original broadway cast soundtrack

original broadway cast

score

fourth revision of 2007 movie script ( interesting to take a look at and see the changes made between the two versions )

a string of pearls ( penny dreadful that's the source material for the bond play which then turned into the musical )

FASHION.

getting dressed in the 1840s -- queen victoria ( video )

getting dressed in the 1840s -- prince albert ( video )

bringing history to life: 1842 day dress ( video )

dressing up a 1840s gentleman ( video )

dressing up a middle class lady, 1848 ( video )

1840s winter get ready with me ( video )

1840-1849 fashion history timeline

1840s in western fashion ( wikipedia article so take with a grain of salt, but as is with any wikipedia artcle, look at the sources cited! )

the writer's guide to 1840s women's fashion

1840s extant dress

WORKHOUSES.

the victorian workhouse

workhouses.org.uk ( excellent resource going over just about everything workhouse related. uniforms, schedules, children, food etc. )

what was life actually like in a victorian workhouse? ( documentary )

24 hours in the past episode on victorian workhouses ( the rest of the show in on youtube and this is the final episode. spoiler warning, though i didn't find it too bad. i quite enjoy the rest of the show as well! it gives a good look into lower-class victorian england. )

punishments in the victorian workhouse ( documentary )

the psychological torture of the victorian workhouse ( documentary )

PRISON.

victorian prisons and punishments

the victorians and australian penal colonies

convicts and decolonization of australia, 1788-1868

convict transportation peaks

british convicts to australia

australian penal colonies

what was life like for victorian convicts to australia? ( documentary )

women, crime and custody in victorian england ( no downloads are available, however it may be at a local library )

CLASS.

victorian middle class

working class and the poor

COURT.

judge and jurist in the reign of victoria

courtroom experience in victorian england

judicial discretion and sentencing standards

victorian courts

BARBERS.

barbers and their shops in early modern britian

history of barbering

SAILORS.

life at sea in the age of sail

life on a ship during the early 1800s

living conditions in the 19th century us navy

life on a sailing ship in the early 1800s

WOMEN.

the female body in the nineteenth-century

woman as victim and martyr

a selection of works about women in the age of queen victoria

the daughters of england ( really good rescource on how women were treated during the era. i believe it was written in the late 19th century. )

gender roles in the 19th century

prostitution

governesses

a brief history of midwifery in america ( included since america and england were fairly similar at the time )

19th century childbirth

women, menstruation and 19th century medicine ( access through school or library )

the evolution of menstrual education in england 1850 to 1930

how did victorian women deal with their periods? ( video )

SEXUAL ABUSE AND SEX. *if you have any questions about the resources linked under this section, let me know! i will be happy to give you more specific warnings or details on the subject manner.

victorian prostitution

placing childhood sexual abuse in historical perspective ( for obvious reasons please do not read this if you are sensitive to the topics of child sexual abuse, sexual abuse, or anything of that sort )

the history of early life trauma and abuse ( warnings for abuse of all kinds and trauma in young children. has to be accessed through an institution. )

victorian sexualities

sexual molestation of children: historical perspectives

the criminal law amendment act, 1885 ( this law raised the age of consent for girls from 13 to 16. the age of consent was twelve previously. )

mary ellen wilson ( her case was one of the promptings to raise the age of consent )

offences against the person act 1861 ( wikipedia article, but it gets the gist of the law )

the maiden tribute to modern babylon ( series of articles to expose the young girls forced into sex work. this was another reason why the criminal law amendment act, 1885 passed. HUGE WARNING for these articles. this is an incredibly heavy series of works. their importance can't be understated, but i wasn't able to get through them. if you are particularly sensitive to topics of child sexual abuse or sex work, please keep yourself safe and do not read these, but this goes for anyone. take care of yourself. )

the victorian's sex lives ( documentary. mostly goes over examples of wealthier couples. )

kissed against her will

FAMILY.

advice to young men ( written in the 19th century. author gives advice to young men and young women of the era on marriage, family life, and running a hosuehold. )

fatherhood and divorce laws

19th century childbirth ( warnings for childbirth and pregnancy )

victorian childbirth ( warnings for childbirth and pregnancy )

miscarriage in nineteenth century america ( warnings for pregnancy and miscarriage. some of the methods male doctors employed to deal with miscarriage were brutal. keep that in mind. )

lost: miscarriage in nineteenth century america ( warnings for pregnancy and miscarriage. some of the methods male doctors employed to deal with miscarriage were brutal. keep that in mind. )

coping with miscarriage in the nineteenth cenrtury ( warnings for pregnancy and miscarriage. some of the methods male doctors employed to deal with miscarriage were brutal. keep that in mind. )

SUICIDE.

suicide in england and wales 1861-2007

rodenticide toxicity

what happens if a human eats rat poison?

sodium hydroxide

MENTAL INSITUTIONS.

the woman in white ( fictional novel published in 1859 which exposed how poorly mental asylums treated their patients. )

ten days in a madhouse ( expose written by nellie bly about the treatment of patients in blackwell's island insane asylum. warnings for torture and abuse of all kinds. it's a fairly short read. )

a victorian mental asylum

the social history of psychiatry in the victorian era

victorian oppression of women through psychiatry

madhouses, mad-doctors and madmen: the social history of psychiatry in the victorian era

mania, dementia, and melancholia in the 1870s

19th century mental health

victorian women and insanity

bbc mental a history of the madhouse ( documentary )

victorian mental health and women

insanity terminology in the 18th and early 19th century

hysterical victorian women

from bethlehem to bedlam - england's first mental institution

MISC.

health and hygiene

popular culture

why was baking the deadliest job in the victorian era? ( bakers in the countryside. documentary/reality show. )

what life was like for a baker in the victorian era ( industrial bakers. documentary/reality show. )

#gosh i don't know how to tag this #this took me like two hours :') #*❈ ‣ whence comes this melody constantly flowing? — ( meta. ) #long post tw

[flyingpurplepeopleprogrammer]

You know, I get some questions often enough that I think I'll just start posting the answers.

Let's start with a classic: "How did you get into hypnosis?"

The short answer? I like brains! That and lots and lots of reading.

The long answer? Well...

It was a long time ago. I can't recall exactly what all happened in what order: there was bad television, of course: cartoon hypnosis and movie mind control. X-2? Telepathy. Matrix 2? Who remembers the scene with the cake? I could list bits of media that are fun with kink glasses for awhile, but you've probably already heard of most of them anyway.

I was curious outside of that, though. There were also encyclopedia artcles about the mind and a grab-bag of probably-mostly-nonsense you could find in books and on the internet about meditation, altered states of consciousness, psychoactives, brainwashing, cults, ritualistic spirituality, BDSM, MKUltra conspiracy theories... whatever. If you can name it, I probably read about it. It's alarmingly easy (or, at least, it was for me) to find your way back to mind control from philosophy, religion, any kind of "why?" question you might go about exploring while you're young and don't know anything.

This was back in pre-video days of the internet and - honestly - I think it was mostly easier to find sources on obscure stuff in the days before youtube and AI generated clutter. I can't really say how much of what I read stuck, but I definitely spent some of my days sat around trying to figure out meditation or getting my awareness out of my head experimentally. It's kind of wild to think back on that, honestly. I can still remember a nice out-of-body experience against a lone oak trea out in a pasture. The dirt around it was always fine and powdery because the horses would clomp and roll by it, and it made the loveliest spot to lay and daydream in a summer heat.

But I digress -

I also worked my way through the EMCSA: first by looking for keywords and themes I liked, then alphabetically - compiling reading lists based on whether or not a given sypnosis caught my eye. Ya boy has read a lot of smut. Hypnosmut - like all art - is mostly rubbish, but you'll find some writers that give wonderfully educational descriptions of hypnosis. That and a few scraps from outdated, untrustworthy papers by Names of hypnosis past and a couple of ill-advised, late-teenaged forays into power exchange and I ended up playing with brainwashing, imagery, and... yeah. I had the tools and opportunity to experiment with some kind of mental play that was hypnokink or hypnokink-adjacent. I can safely say I've been doing this shit since before I was old enough to vote.

Now, nobody should be reading this who's under 18, but just in case you are:

- I cannot stress this enough: do not be like me. I got into a lot of trouble that wasn't good for me and I would've been better off in a lot of ways if this hadn't been the route I'd taken.

- You shouldn't be reading this. This blog is 18+ for a reason. Feck off.

Eventually, like so many of us, I found my way to some shady corners of the internet and made an ass out of myself in ways that - while new and exciting to me-from-the-past - are fairly standard for newbie hypnokinksters. (I'm still out there, btw: Out on the internet, Being an asshat. I don't use this name, though. This Flying Purple People Programmer business is my first foray into not using my usual name.)

When I started out in these spaces I set out to get hypnotised by a bunch of different people because - well - what better way to learn different approaches then to see them firsthand? This taught me a lot about different techniques and - perhaps more critically - what it was like to be hypnotised by a shitty hypnotist. I don't recommend that second bit, but it probably did a good job of encouraging me not to be a dick. I've run into a lot of community folks over the years, but not in a very loud way. That's not uncommon in the hypnocommunuty, by the way: if you've been around for any length of time, a lot of people are floating around who will know who you are and remember you from this event or that website. It's a small world.

Looking back on it as if I had a thesis when I started writing, I think that the best thing I picked up in my adventure was the idea that we don't know what we're doing, really, and that our ways of experiencing things are both wildly diverse and not quite knowable. Hypnosis is a big fuzzy mess in a range of human experiences and hypnokink might not actually have all that much to do with hypnosis. We can be meditating or conditioned or daydreaming or a million other things in the course of our play and often times "hypnosis" is just an aesthetic we dress it up in. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

So. There's me rambling about me. Hopefully that saves me going on for a thousand words next time somebody asks me that question hoping for a gentle conversation starter.

#fppp answers #if there's one lesson to take from this it's that I really really like talking about hypnosis #and might be difficult to shut up if you get me going on the topic #might #if somebody were to make an “I like brains!” version of the I like trains gif I'd award them 1000 internet points

[aditichotra]

I wanted to use my illustration of grenade with the new artcle heading I have selected. I really like how the scan of it came however I was still very confused with the typography as I wanted it to be simple but it was loosing the feel and I just dont know how to make it more contemporary. I felt that only the illustration stood out here and not the layout or typeface.

[handcalfieetherington]

to further are discussion on the tales of natures favourite water reptile, let’s look at some more real life accounts of how these swamp dwelling never do wells, live and hunt with a video recounting how they hunt many different species in the animal kingdom 

https://youtu.be/zemdr-8h1fA

Crocs and Gators are pretty fascinating to watch, there sheer ballsiness and hyper aggression makes them a fascinating reptile to watch hunt, it doesn’t matter what size the animal or what part of the food chain there on if it’s near the crocs stomping grounds it’s getting the teeth, while this initial caution to the wind in sake of the kill mindset may make crocs seem somewhat stupid that’s actually far from correct as there species is incredibly adept at protecting there young and despite there over agression at times have mastered the art of sneaking up on there opponent by using there home turf of rivers and swamps to there advantage.

in terms of further discussing these wide eyed chompers, the video mentions how Crocs and other lizards lack the idea of empathy or emotion towards anything or anyone, which for lizards themselves seem to be mostly true as there paths of evolution never really required them to have any empathy or higher plain of emotion, a snakes action of poisoning it’s prey can be perceived by us as cruel yes but ultimately the snake doesn’t do what it does out of malice because it quite literally can’t comprehend emotion or empathy, it just can’t, for crocs however it seems there’s more conflicting information, as some artcles I’ve come across which will be linked below relay that in some rare cases Crocodilian can form close connections to humans, due to there higher intelligence than other lizards like snake and the such, perhpas crocs and gators do have the mental capability’s to show affection and empathy but due to there higher aggression compared to other animals of there intellect they are unable to act on there empathy more.

exploring the greater aspects of this creature were surprisingly really interesting, to go over and may actually make me want to stick closer to a crocodilian inspirations for a future design of some sort, time will only tell though 

15 times wild crocodile attacks caught on camera (2021) YouTube. YouTube. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zemdr-8h1fA (Accessed: February 14, 2023).

Crocodiles are sophisticated hunters: Work as a team to hunt their prey (2014) ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily. Available at: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/10/141013152654.htm#:~:text=Recent%20studies%20have%20found%20that,their%20hunting%20techniques%20can%20be. (Accessed: February 14, 2023).

Crocodiles just wanna have fun, too (2015) ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily. Available at: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/02/150210212044.htm#:~:text=a%20river%20otter.-,In%20rare%20cases%2C%20individual%20crocodilians%20have%20b (Accessed: February 14, 2023).

A crocodile's touch: Tactile communication in humans and crocodiles (no date). Available at: https://commons.lib.jmu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1025&context=lexia (Accessed: February 14, 2023).

[dancingqueendc]

So in 2013 during Hilary campaign I saw Igor once he was very drunk and According to the news articles he worked with Fiona Hill at Brookings and news artcLe states that the Russian source said that the allegations were hearsay and made in jest among friends over beers....well he had a lot of beers and then came to me...I was his muse after this incident. Both Fiona hill denied and plead not guilty. I think she has been charged, according to news articles I just read. It states they worked together. He told me he had too many beers with some former colleagues from GE after work at HH and by 9pm couldn't go home drunk to 3rd ex wife n baby 2y.o. so he came crawling to my apt. I do regret taking his Dumas beer'ed ass in for the night. Likely it bothered him that much he drank himself silly over this issue. I'm sad to hear he was charged for lying to fbi for Russian disinformation but he is no spy. He told me who he worked for, I don't remember, but the company named in article was paid by Hilary campaign so basically he worked for Hilary's campaign to smear drumf. We always had a good laugh about it but I had no idea it was this serious. I didn't know he worked for political campaign research then. He told me he was a graduate Economics major it states he is a lawyer. We'll go figure. Whatever he has 2 grad degrees very intelligent but Dumas drunk also, saying stupid things while drunk not good for him. Being drunk, really not good for him. O well ...I'm glad I never got too involved with him esp not interested in politics or economics or his work. I seriously doubt he is any spy, he stated that it's slander. He wanted an American citizenship passport when he married the 3rd ex wife he told me he wished he could be a us citizen. I genuinely believe he wanted to be an American citizen to protect his ass from the Russians. I don't know what he did age 18-19 but he got full scholarship to go to Law school here GW and study economics and came from a poor family average middle low income, not many opportunities. He worked hard to come to America and study. His 1st ex wife Russian Liza divorced him went back to Russian worked from Russia. He stayed at gw and remarried 2nd ex wife also divorced him went back to Russia. He's no spy. His ex wives maybe are spies. He is a good analyst. Lying about "golden showers"( that's our personal secret) I don't think he lied about it like the mi6 guy states, he's in fear of the Russians what they'd do to him(?) If truth really gets out? He's not afraid of the FBI or mi6 guy he worked for mi6 guy I forgot he said something about it I guess but I was having a Martini at HH and not really paying attention to his ramblings on about his work/job that much. I saw him 15mins he had 1 beer and left to go pickup his daughter from school/ballet(?) I dunno, whatever. Sad that he got caught lying to fbi. Mi6 guy said they're not lying that the tapes of trump golden showers exist somewhere in kremlim, I told Igor I wouldn't put it past Russian gov or Kremlin spies likely have that blackmail against trump and he's still Putin's beach no matter what they say lies or not lies as mi6 guy states he stands his ground that it is true.

I wouldn't put it past the Russian gov Kremlin or KGB to have that sort of blackmail evidence against trump. Trump says he's not into golden showers. I don't believe any of'em

I don't believe Jimmy, igor, yuriy, Roger, Gerry, or any1 drumf politicians, military, snipers, spies, drug dealers, people who work for the Controllers of earth gov/puppet heads. I don't believe any of them. Igor gets too drunk tells me stuff, we laugh, in jest...2013...that is a true statement, that he had beers with colleagues and it was stated in jest with Fiona Hill. She likely was there. She's been charged with lying to fbi about matters they're investigating. Article states they only found out who Igor was 2020 they interviewed him 2016-2017 - I didn't speak to igor 2013-2017 I didn't know him. He met me for a beer when sintia worked with me she was there. He came to have a beer with me. 15min n he was gone. I just said hi to him text last month about a news article on the nuclear submarine. I am surprised they are going to jail him 5yr for lying when likely he isn't lying. He's not a very good liar. He never could, after beers, that's why he's got 4 ex wives. He is not a good liar and that makes him not a spy/candidate to do that sort of work. He is a research analyst. I am a systems analyst. We talked about golden showers and analyzing data for gov jobs/work we used to do. So what. We had a couple drinks and alleged some jokes about trump and laughed. It was Fiona Hill. Definitely her. Not him. He is just a Dumas drunk at the time 2013. Not good for him. He was paying 3 allimonies to 3 ex wives. They got $20,000/yr from his Dumas

HE didn't have money for groceries. His apt was empty. He slept on the floor one night while I slept on the couch. He had no food in his fridge. He kissed me in broad daylight in front of his apt he is no spy. They're trying to accuse him of being a Russian spy. He's not a very good spy or liar. He is good at analyzing information. He used it to his advantage but now its backfired and the Russians will kill him. It's best he stays in US jail maybe protect him from being killed by the Russians.

[roguesurvivor]

Narcissists By Rebecca Fischbein

When Lisa* met Adam* in graduate school, she thought she’d hit the dating jackpot. “He was very wealthy, very charismatic, and at first he was very charming,” she says. “He was constantly showering me with gifts, fancy dinners, and romanic nights out. He was playing by this 1950s courtship rulebook.” But over time, Lisa says, Adam became condescending, controlling, and cruel. He criticized her working-class background and tried to mold her in his image. He learned her insecurities and trigger points and used them against her. He made her write him an apology letter every time they had an argument. Ultimately, he became physically and sexually abusive. It took Lisa years to escape him.

“I was in my mid-20s, a hopeless romantic, painfully insecure,” she says. “Here was a guy who was charming and handsome and going to help me fit in. I was so eager to please.”

Though Adam has not been clinically diagnosed, to Lisa’s knowledge, he exhibits classic characteristics of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which the Mayo Clinic defines as “a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.” What we tend to think of as “narcissism”—vanity and extra-heavy doses of self-confidence—is a spectrum, and people can tip more heavily toward one end or the other. But someone with NPD is more than just self-interested and self-obsessed.

“It’s a lifelong pattern that a child started in childhood to cope with a certain family environment,” Elinor Greenberg, PhD., the author of Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration and Safety, says. “In adulthood, they overvalue achievement, they do not understand love, they have low emotional empathy.”

Julie L. Hall, a journalist and the author of The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free, characterizes narcissists as individuals who, to repress feelings of shame and inadequacy in childhood, take on an exterior persona designed to insulate themselves from criticism. “They miss out on numerous developmental milestones,” she says. “They do not form a secure sense of identity and self-esteem. They do not learn good emotional regulation, they do not learn to self-reflect, they do not learn emotional empathy. They do not develop a complex, mature sense of their own universe or the emotional lives of others.”

People with NPD are not able to see other people, which means they do not make for good romantic partners. Many can become abusive, emotionally or otherwise. If you’ve inadvertently entered into a relationship with a narcissist, it can be hard to figure out what’s going on at first. Here are some signs to help you out.

They put you on a pedestal (at first)

Narcissists see everything in black and white, including people. People are either “good,” which means they’re idealized, or they’re “bad,” which to a narcissist essentially means they’re garbage. If a narcissist is pursuing you as a romantic partner, that means you’re in the “good” category, and you’ll likely find that they shower you with compliments and charm to win you over. They’ll make you feel wonderful, special, and, ironically, seen right off the bat.

“Narcissists become infatuated. They tend to idealize a potential partner or love interest,” Hall says. “It can seem like you’ve met your soulmate, like, ‘Wow, I connect so much with this person.”

Narcissists may also try to alter themselves in an effort to mirror your personality. “They may suddenly share the same interests as you, and agree with you and your core values,” Hall says. “These are not necessarily things the narcissist is or believes, but they’re trying on your identity, and showing you what they think you want to see.”

But once you get deeper into the relationship, a switch gets flipped. “In the beginning, you’re getting all the wonderful things from them and they don’t even notice your flaws,” Greenberg says. “As you come closer, and they’re not just in chase mode, suddenly they’re going to see all these things about you they didn’t see before, that bleed through their image of you as perfect and special.”

Many of us idealize our partners in the beginning but recognize that everyone has flaws, and eventually the idealization gets swapped out for love and trust. But with a narcissist, there’s no substitute. “You flip into ‘all bad,’” Greenberg says. “That’s when they start their construction project.”

They try to “fix” you

Greenberg describes narcissists in search of a romantic partner as “looking for piece of cheese with no holes.” And since everybody has holes, that mission is doomed from the start. Once the narcissist sees those holes—which can be as minor as, say, you unloading the dishwasher in a way they don’t like, or mispronouncing “bagel,”—they can either “fix” you or dump you.

“You’re like a building under construction to them,” Greenberg says. “They feel like the Prince in Cinderella.”

Lisa experienced this with Adam. “He knew my background and upbringing and gave me tips on how to hide it,” she says. “One time, I mentioned I learned piano as a kid and that I wished I could go back and learn it. He said he would get me piano lessons for my birthday, because, ‘I think it would look better for you if you were a classically trained musician.’”

She adds, “It was like The Princess Diaries, where I was going to be this middle-class, out-of-place kid, and he was going to build me into this perfect little partner. I was this blank slate that he was just going to make his masterpiece.”

They have no boundaries and a sense of entitlement

One of the defining characteristics of any personality disorder is a lack of boundaries, emotional or otherwise. People with NPD are no exception.

“They often feel entitled to violate boundaries most of us accept and abide by,” Hall says. “Sharing intimate details about other people you don’t know about, wanting to get more committed really quickly, promising things or wanting promises from you like commitment, marriage, having kids together right away. Things that are really premature before you’ve had a chance to get there.”

Hall says narcissists just feel entitled in general. They can’t abide by the golden rule of do unto others as you would have them do unto you. “A narcissist walks around with very unreasonable expectations,” Hall says. “They feel entitled to get things other people shouldn’t get.”

Narcissists can have big “May I speak to the manager?” energy. They might mock or criticize other people behind their backs. They may be rude to or yell at servers. And they walk around believing and/or telling people they’re better than everyone else.

Lisa says that Adam, for instance, would wear a necklace with a formula engraved on a tag. He claimed he invented it, and that it was the “formula for the universe.”

“He said, ‘I solved the universe. This solves everything. And when someone questions my power, I just remember I’m more powerful than them,’” Lisa says.

They don’t hold back in a fight

It’s healthy for couples to argue sometimes. But when narcissists get into spats with their partners, their lack of empathy can lead to a nasty fight.

Greenberg says narcissists often do not have “object constancy,” which is the ability to maintain positive feelings for someone even in times of conflict. “Object constancy is what keeps people from abusing their mates,” she says. “People with object constancy can remember that they love you even when they’re mad at you.”

But narcissists can’t always do that. “If you’re in a fight with someone with no emotional empathy, who can’t remember they love you, they will hit below the belt,” Greenberg says, “All bets are off. They can say vile things to you.”

Narcissists love to argue—winning an argument is another way for them to prove that they’re better than other people—and they know how to push your buttons. They also tend have extreme emotional reactions. So if your partner is frequently hurtful, even over minor infractions, that’s a red big flag. And what comes after a fight can be a red flag, too:

They never apologize

Narcissists are incapable of self-reflection, which means that they rarely recognize when they’re in the wrong. So if your partner tends to sling throat-cutting insults at you during a fight and doesn’t ever meaningfully apologize for it, well, you might want to reassess the relationship.

“Being able to see that people have good and bad qualities, able to see that in themselves and other people, that’s something an NPD person can’t do,” Hall says. “They’re unable to look at things from an emotional perspective beyond themselves.”

If they do apologize, it can be more of an insult in of itself. “Sometimes narcissists throw out faux apologies with the narrative that you’re really too sensitive,” Hall says. “They’re unable to see things from your point of view, or validate your feelings as being legitimate.”

They turn their exes into villains

Here is a big one: If your partner or prospective partner has a narrative in which everyone they ever dated was “terrible,” “horrible,” and solely responsible for the destruction of the relationship, that’s a massive red flag. Sometimes someone does date a couple of assholes, but generally most people are able to reflect upon the ways in which both parties contributed to a relationship’s demise. Narcissists can’t accept criticism, can’t see the middle ground, and can’t self-reflect, which means they’re unable to recognize their part in a breakup. To protect their fragile egos, they are “good,” which means the ex must be “bad.”

“They often have a really negative assessment of previous relationships,” Hall says. “They pathologize and villainize their exes. The other person is a ‘jerk,’ an ‘asshole,’ a ‘disappointment.’” Basically, they don’t learn from relationships, and they’re constantly externalizing anything negative.

They gaslight you

With no boundaries, empathy, or checked egos, narcissists delight in manipulating people. It’s one of the ways they can feel superior than others, and it’s another method of proving to themselves that the rules don’t apply. It’s hard to tell if someone is gaslighting you—the very nature of gaslighting, i.e. psychological manipulation to make someone doubt their own feelings and lived experience, is set up to slowly chip away at your conviction so you think you’re the problem. But if you start to sense that your partner is manipulating you, get the hell out.

Lisa says Adam would frequently gaslight her. “We would be out at a bar or restaurant or something, and I would see him put his hand on the small of a woman’s back, and touch her ass or something,” she says. “In the car ride home, I would say something and he would freak the fuck out.”

He would deny it, they would argue, and in the end, Adam would manage to convince her that she was in the wrong. “The rule was that every time we got into an argument, I would have to write him a letter giving him an outline of how the argument began, who said what, and that I was sorry,” Lisa says. “At the end [of the letter], I’d be like, ‘You’re right, I didn’t see that, I must have been drunk.”

Narcissists do not truly understand or care about your emotional experience, your pain, and your personhood; moreover, they always have to be Right, and if you oppose them or call them out on their shit, that means you’re Wrong. That means they can pretty much do whatever they want without remorse, and they may do what it takes to convince you that their misdeeds are your fault.

If you’re dating someone who exhibits a number of these signs, consider confiding in someone you trust—friends, family, a therapist—and cutting ties. Narcissists can sometimes mitigate their worst impulses through therapy, but people who lack empathy have to do a lot of work to gain it, and they inflict psychological and emotional damage upon others in the meantime. You deserve better.

#really liked this artcle

[sessrin-eternity2]

I have a lot to discuss about the episodes that have came out these weeks, I'll have to catch up before Episode 29 launches, there's gonna be a lot of articles from my part this week but I must get caught up before the new episode is released and then I'll finally be back on track. I loved today's Episode so much, it was beautiful and some moments really shocked me!

but I can't talk about it yet because I'd like to work on Episode 25, 26, 27 artcles first.♡️ So for now, I won't talk about Episodes until the articles are posted, so I'll just focus on Sesshomaru frames, edits, free icons and list goes on.

The edit you see above is one I made 2 days ago, I think it came out quite meaningful about Sesshomaru's and Rin's love. I got inspired when I read translates from official articles of S2 Episode 27, they talked in such great details about the couple and Yashahime's official account used Sesshomaru and Rin's tag as a couple, Sessrin is really thriving. ♡️ I hope people bring the official article translates here for everyone else to read, they're absolutely beautiful and the fact they mentioned Sesshomaru drops his bakusaiga to hold his wife... my heart literally had a flutter jump.

#sessrin #sesshomaru #rin #sessrin eternity edits #yashahime #inuyasha

[msfreundliche]

Why I fail calculus

Why do college students fail calculus?

The number one reason for failing at calculus is brining high school understanding of math to the college.

Students dont fail because they are stupid. How would they possibly graduate from high school, pass the ACT or SAT test if their IQ was low? So, no. Stupidity couldn't be the reason why students fail.

Junior students fail at calculus because they have the misconception that college math, will be not much different from what was in high school. Students believe that they will be presented with all necessary knowledge and tools to solve some equations - and it will be sufficient to pass the exams. Unfortunately, college calculus instructors fail to address this issue although it is always there right in front of them.

Many instructors address the issue simply by telling - please be informed that college calculus is different. But they never tell how it is different? In what ways exactly is it different? What should students do about this difference? They never tell that students must keep track of tools being used, they never tell that students must use scientific method to find the solution. They never tell that it is often necessary to make ten iterations before finally finding the right solution. They never emphasize enough, that students must take notes on techniques their lecturer is using. They never tell that it s expected that student himself must organize all new knowledge, classify scientific tools, notice newly employed tricks, and make his own research.

Think about the difference between geometry and trigonometry.

The main difference between them is the fundamental one. The definition of angle. Many times, many high school students fail in trigonometry because their math teacher failed to emphasize enough that angle in trigonometry is not the same as in geometry. Students are often bamboozled by the fact that piece of plane could be more than 360 degrees. Or students simply keep focusing on the fact that the angle is less than zero. So from there the student is so amused by these mysterious angles that he spends rest of his time trying to wrap his head around this. He entertains his imagination by trying to bend space and plane so that angle is more than 360 or negative. Failing again and again, confused and angry, he starts to believe that either his math teacher failed somewhere or student himself is plane stupid.

What can we do about it?

For once we must use the “dont tell, show” motto as our principle. Just like a good movie director does, we must show why the angle in trigonometry is different. We must show them their perception of angle in trigonometry is based on agreement between people that it is an angle. And we must tell students that just like that we can introduce a new definition of angle not as part of a plane, but as rotation, as revolution, as mechanical or physical phenomena. And we must show them that as the result of the new definition you can have an angle more than 360 degrees, positive or negative.

But we can't do that in college can we?

Unfortunately, our college instructors are too frustrated by the amount of knowledge they must convey to junior students. We have strict standards on what college must teach in how many hours and so on. These standards are really high.

So the solution, for these desperate failing students is a new view on college calculus. College calculus is not a set of math exercises students must solve. College calculus is a set of tools that is used to research mathematical functions. Failing to reserach a function in first attempt is part of scientific method. They simply must use another mathematical tool and see if it helps to complete a research. My book about failing college calculus is exactly the answer to this problem describing scientific process and mathematical tools, techniques and tricks in great detail. You can order it from amazon by the link order book .

This artcle was written by Mary Sue Freundliche

#calculus fail save money

[john-lloyd]

John Lloyd A. Angeles Grade 11- ABM 1 Reading records EAPP

Unit 1: The nature of Academic Text

-In this Lesson, I've learned what is Academic text and how it is important in our daily lives even though Academic text is very difficult to understand but it is very helpful to our individual lives in order to gain more knowledge. Academic text helps us not just only in our school purposes but its also helps in our real daily lives.

Unit 2: Thesis statement and Outlining

-I have learned in this lesson what is Thesis statement really is and what his Purpose. Thesis Statement tells the reader what to expect from the essay and also thesis statement states what you will discuss in your essay. I've learned also that a thesis statement can be very helpful in constructing the outline of your essay. I do not forgot what I learned about Outlining, Outlining is a tool we use in the writing process to help organize our ideas, visualize our paper's potential structure, and to further flesh out and develop points.

Unit 3: What is summary and techniques in summarizing a text

-Summary or Summarizing a text is a technique to make the text shorter without changing the meaning of a text or Thoughts, I prefer to use or read a Summary text or story than the Original it's because I think for me It can help's me to understand easier what's the meaning of text or story and maybe I am too lazy to read the full text or story.

Unit 4: What is paraphrasing and techniques in Paraphrasing, Paraphrasing Vs Qouting

-Paraphrasing in my own idea and Understanding, I think paraphrasing is Changing the arrangement of a words without changing its meaning in order to us to more understand what is the meaning all about and also paraphrasing is more specific and consice. Quoting is like how you Attract or Caught your attention in a phrase or Sentence that's why you highlight them because they Caught your attention.

Unit 5: Citing sources of Information

-I love this Lesson because Citing sources is very helpful especially in all Students like me. It can help me for conducting research if we have assignments or Performance task to do about researching or you want to discover about something base in your certain topic, You can search in Google or even in the books there are a lot of Information. Also for Conducting a Research or Citing souces we must remember to give Credit to the author who wrote the artcle or journal it is symbol to show our respect and Appreciation of their work.

Reading Records EAPP

[skippyv20]

Skippy, you and our community have really opened my eyes regarding celebrity (and political) PR campaigns with unseemly PR firms. Thank you also for your faith in this process for I lost hope many times that the good will "win." Rollercoaster. For people (like myself) who may not be able to discern which "side" sent the artcle via the headline/content, would it be accurate to make an assessment based on the accompanying pics? MM articles seem to always have unflattering pics of PW/DOC/PA.

The PR wars ...it used to be simple....if it said Meghan Markle first...it was hers...now it is very confusing for all....so hard to say.  I would suggest reading PR Anon carefully when they drop by....😊❤️❤️❤️❤️

[ywhiterain]

I love this chapter. It feels kinda experimental- it’s not the first Yuugi/Atem/Anzu romance chapter, but it does go into darker territory. Anzu, who is generally characterized as reasonable, decided to go lalala gonna get myself nearly bombed so Other Yuugi will come out.

Before that, she gets a dude beaten up by pretending he’s sexually harassing her (which, man, I could write an essay about early manga Anzu being sexually harass her) and misleads Yuugi into thinking she’s interested in him. Pretty shitty all around.

She never does anything like this again. Nor does she learn anything. She probably got her date with a very confused and awkward Atem, and they never speak of it again. But I do love this idea of Anzu having this really reckless and cruel drive when she really wants something- it adds deminsion to her character.

The tone is also kinda delightful? This world is cracked out. Atem’s killing bullies left and right and the newspaper isn’t reporting on it. They’ll publish niche artcles about archeology, but high schoolers dying left and right? And going crazy? Who cares~~~

But, still, it’s not usually the good guys doing reckless cool things and not being punished. These chapters between Death-T and Duelist Kingdom are often odd and I treasure them.

Also: I think Atem’s attracted to Anzu. It could be his fusion with Yuugi - but he remains flustered when the idea of romance flickers between them even when he starts to realize he’s his own person and I really dig it.

Atem is really to ready to judge and murder with games. But friendly social activities with a pretty girl? Yuugi’s all for it, but Atem is Unsure. It’s cute.

#atem x anzu #yuugiou

[sweetlittlevampire]

I am so effing livid it’s unreal.

(This is going to be very long, so I’ll put a Read More somewhere in here. Sorry about the length; i just need to get this out of my system.)

So Mrs Bosswoman went on holidays today. She’s been working on the company newspaper that’s being published four times a year. It has tiny fun articles about all the things we do, including press conferences and sucheries.

We did have such a press conference yesterday. Since I, as Communications Officer, have to prepare the press kits before the press conferences so they can be proofread, corrected, and send to the people in charge for approval, she had already all of the info she needed to write her article - which she did.

The only things she needed were two photographs and a line of text describing what’s going on in each photograph, which I would have been happy to provide. It’s my job.

Only that said press conference was at 3 PM. I officially work until 5 PM, and it takes us about 45 to 55 minutes, depending on traffic, to get from the office building to the place where the conference was being held yesterday.

She was like: “I’m officially on leave starting the 13th, but I’ll be home until noon, and I’ll be checking what you wrote so I can submit it to the graphic designer.”

Me: “Okay, so...I’ll be at the office on Friday morning before 8 AM, and I’ll need about half an hour to import the pictures, run them through Photoshop to adjust the brightness and saturation for print, and write the text, so I should be done with it on Friday before 8:30 AM. Would that work?”

She: “No, I’d prefer it if you could do it on Thursday, after the press conference.”

Me: “...okay, but I’ll risk missing my bus home. You know it comes only once an hour, and the building closes at 05:30 PM?” 

(Bus comes at 04:21 PM, next one at 05:21 PM, next at 06:21 pm, and so on.)

She: “I’m sure you’ll be fine. I’m just asking because our graphic designer has time on Thursday evening but not on Friday, and we’re already running late with the newspaper. Plus I want you to contact the printing house on Monday before noon so they can send in their price estimate the following day.”

So I did stay longer to work on this. I did miss my bus, and I did have to wait almost an entire hour in the cold and rain (because OF COURSE it started to rain after, like, 20 minutes). Got home super late, only to have dinner, change, and go to bed. No time for anything else - not even a bit of reading - since I had to be up at 6 Am this morning.

So far, so good.

I get here, at 07:43 AM, check my e-mails - Mrs Bosswoman confirms that she got my mail and reviewed my work from the evening before, and gives me the graphic designer’s e-mail address so i can work with her on getting this newspaper done while mrs Bosswoman is away.

1. I e-mailed said graphic designer. Turns out it would have been perfectly fine to send her everything on Friday (so today), and she would have set up the thing either on the week-end or on Monday morning, since she basically had the whole paper already set up and just needed to insert the two pictures and the four lines of text. I would have had it all on Monday around 9 AM, with enough time to contact the printing house to apply for the estimate. Apparently she told Mrs Bosswoman all of the above, but she was like “I prefer it that way”, which translates to “I don’t trust her one second with what she’s doing and need to have control over everything.” (She does that with every employee, not just with me.)

2. I checked what I wrote yesterday, just to see whether Mrs Bosswoman corrected any typoes or the like. I based my writing off her own writing style so it wouldn’t clash with the rest of the artcle too much. Which worked absolutely fine before. She. Changed. E V E R Y T H I N G . Like, she swapped out all of the photographs (except for the group photo because there was only one available), and rewrote all of the texts. Still containing the same information, but written completely differently. It must have taken her just as long as it took me to write the whole thing and to edit the pictures she selected - I took those photographs myself. I could see that they had been edited, and I’m faster at Photoshop than she is.

Which essentially means: I could have easily written her an e-mail containing the folder with all of the photographs and the list of people who attended yesterday, just in time to still get my bus, and she could have easily done it all by herself. With no trouble at all.  The time stamp on her e-mail was 06:42 am - I know from people who have worked here for a while that she’s usually up that early. Which means she redid all of that tuff either yesterday evening, or even this morning. Which, again, means I could have done it this morning, and she would still have had plenty of time to edit the whole thing, since she’s leaving at noon.

But nooooo. Instead I went home freezing and tired and woke up with a headache that still hasn’t cleared, and it’s just after 11 AM now. If I get ill because of this mess I swear I won’t hold back. Our secretary (my girlfriend’s aunt) is just as angry.

i just wanna go home and lay down so i can get this cold out of my bones, but I have an eight-hour day - which I am already cutting down to a seven-hour day because I worked overtime for an hour yesterday, and that was before I got back here to write and edit the stuff for Mrs Bosswoman. I am seriously thinking about checking if I have any overtime left so I can cut it down to six hours, which I legally have to do, or I’d have to turn it into a sick leave and turn in a doctor’s notice, which I don’t need (yet).

I really hope my mood will brighten today, because if not, I’m 95% sure I’ll strangle someone before 3 PM.

#Sweet is rambling #Office Life #this just makes me incredibly mad

[antiterf]

It has been a while since I started to study about radfem and the term TERF. I'm am from the most violent country for transpeople (brazil) and we don't use this term here (we say transphobic). I am into most part of the guidelines of radfem but I don't think it's right to exclude the transcommunity. I've been trying to inform myself about this subject but radfem is not common here. So, since u seem to know a lot, could u recomend artcles/videos about it? (1/2)

(2/2) Especially how the trans conmunity see it as a whole? I’m searching about this because the last that I want is to be disrespectful towards trans people. I apologize for my awful english Have a nice day

Before I go out on a hunt for a few things my best suggestion is to try to find people who know your first language so that way you can just talk to them in general about it. I can’t exactly come up with what to say but I can sort of read Spanish if that’s it. I would probably be able to comprehend and answer in English. I know the common language is Portuguese but I want to put in anything that could be slightly helpful here. (Even though I don’t know if anon would even want to go through with this if anyone would be willing to talk to them and knows Portuguese please say so).

I honestly don’t get as much information from videos and articles as I do from being on Tumblr over time. Social media is mostly where it is and they only occasionally show up in news articles. I just don’t watch videos in general because I have the attention span of a goldfish. 

A lot of info or arguments I use and save are on this one doc I made and a few blogs I follow are @azurowle (a really cool trans dude), @terfslying (an ex radfem disabled cis lesbian), @nerdylilpeebee (A friendly and nerdy trans girl), @thefiresontheheight (a trans lesbian that works in a psych hospital, she doesn’t go much in discourse anymore since she’s too busy being gay but her old stuff is still good to read). I swear I feel like I’m forgetting people… crap yeah @tygressofaera (she posts a lot of articles, has practically been here before time and has defended me in the past). 

“What Is a Woman?” I haven’t read through the entire thing but it seems to have good information. 

I don’t agree with this persons take on radfems as a whole but it may still be useful. 

The Trans Advocate is honestly a really useful site. 

This has a lot of general information but seems pretty damn useful

I hope you’re able to find the information you’re looking for and I’m sorry if I wasn’t much help. Also, don’t worry about your English, I honestly wouldn’t have even noticed anything if you hadn’t brought it up. 

If anyone else has any recommendations for anon please say so and thank you in advance.