#requests are open btw | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

elleloquently · 8 days

Note

congrats on nearly graduating!! for a college!ellie request, could we have a classic friends to lovers and they confess to each other on one of the last nights of college?:)

[ been talkin' 'bout the way things change ]

| a/n : thank you so much aw )): i loved this so i wrote it asap hehe | c/w : swearing, drinking, elementary ed students caught a stray sorry love u guys

rivers and roads - ellie williams

you were never good with change.

it consumed all of you, a constant gnawing that overtook your entire body.

if you had to choose between having food poisoning or the ache of nostalgia, you would pick the food poisoning.

you hated change.

you hated the way that no matter what you did, or how strongly you felt.. when it came to change, you could never be in charge. you hated things being out of your hands, too.

sure, maybe you were a little neurotic. your friends poked fun at you for it, and you desperately wished that you could shake it off and move on, embracing the next thing with open arms.

the stomach ache caused by the impending reminder that soon all of this would be over had admittedly started months ago. you thought that maybe at least by the end, you would've had time to process and get a grip on things.

of course, you could never be so lucky.

that's why now, dina was practically screeching with laughter at the sight at you blinking away tears while sat at your favorite table in your favorite bar, a shitty rap song blaring in your ears.

"babe, this is entirely not situationally appropriate," dina laughed, squeezing your shoulder. her other hand held a shot glass.

"this is the last time we'll ever be here," you said, hoping that maybe if you got your feelings out loud, maybe the fucking pit in your stomach would let up a little.

"we could always come back," jesse offered, raising his hands in defense when you shot him a glare.

"we won't be in college anymore. it won't be the same," you said. you weren't the only person being a downer.

the entire bar was packed with upcoming graduates, friend groups crying and hugging in between dances and shots. there was a palpable feeling in the air, everyone could feel it.

"shut up. you're breaking my heart," dina said, wrapping her arm around your shoulders and squeezing as tight as she could. "do you want my shot?"

you shook your head, a genuine laugh leaving your throat. "that's all you," you denied.

you clutched harder onto your plastic cup, a vodka cranberry. ellie had made fun of you when you had ordered it.

"what is it, freshman year?" she had teased, to which you elbowed her side. you didn't admit it, but maybe the reason you had ordered it was because that was a little nostalgic, too.

where was ellie, anyway? it usually took a while to get drinks but she had been gone, what, twenty minutes?

you sat up straighter in your seat, sniffling. you squinted and scanned the crowd, finding it hard for your eyes to adjust to the dark due to the random flashes of laser lights throughout the bar.

finally, you found her.

ellie was at the bar, and you could see the drinks that everyone had ordered around her, so clearly she wasn't waiting on the bartender anymore.

you strained your neck and felt disappointed in yourself once you instantly deflated upon the sight of ellie talking to a girl. you tore your eyes away, heart skipping a beat as you downed the rest of your drink.

"i'll be right back," you called to jesse, who was trying to act nonchalant instead of flustered as dina pulled him to dance.

you squeezed your way through the crowd, sight trained on ellie the entire time. it was nearly impossible to make it to the bar counter, nobody wanted to risk giving up their spot.

"excuse me, jesus," you muttered, slipping through a group of oblivious frat guys taking up the entire walkway.

you didn't recognize the girl that ellie was talking to, not that it mattered. ellie was leaning lazily against the bar, shaking her head with a smile.

there it was again, that pang in your stomach.

"hey, sorry," you breezed, coming up next to ellie. she turned to you instantly, making room for you to stand next to her.

"sorry to interrupt, i just needed a drink and you-" your eyes glanced to the drinks that ellie was hoarding after she had offered to order them.

"shit, sorry."

you graciously accepted the refill as ellie's hand fell onto your back.

"you remember alison, right?" ellie asked, gesturing to the blonde stood in front of you. at ellie's words, your eyes widened.

"oh my god! no way! how are you?" relief washing over you as you broke out into a genuine grin.

alison, ellie's sophomore year roommate that happened to have a wonderful boyfriend.

"pretty great, actually," alison beamed, flashing a ring on her finger.

"no fucking way," you gushed, sharing a knowing look with ellie. "what did you study again?"

"elementary education," alison confirmed, tucking her hair behind her ear.

of course. go, alison!

you caught up for a few minutes before helping ellie carry the rest of the drinks to the table. you only halted for a second to roll your eyes in disgust as a guy squeezed your waist as a way to say excuse me.

"i won't miss that," you grumbled, to which ellie shook her head.

"can you believe the fucking rock on her finger?" ellie asked, sliding into her chair.

"leaving college engaged. can you believe that?" you shook your head, spotting jesse and dina from across the bar and realizing they most likely wouldn't be coming for their drinks right away.

"hey, a lot of people do it," ellie shrugged.

"i know, but.. still. i just can't imagine being in that place, you know? i still feel, so... like, little."

"ew. don't say that," ellie scolded, finally taking a sip of her beer.

"shut up, you know what i mean. i just feel like i'm in such a different place compared to like, ninety percent of everyone else. everyone's moving on and they've got their plans and i'm just.. i don't know. i feel stuck."

"you're really uplifting, did you know that?" ellie teased. you swatted at her, the pounding in your chest never subsiding.

out of everything, you would miss this the most. being with ellie, talking with ellie, seeing ellie. you couldn't even let yourself think about it or you would be sick. still though, you used the dark atmosphere to your advantage and studied her as much as you could. you hoped that you would never forget the specific green of her eyes, or the way her freckles danced across her features.

"i'm sure mostly everyone is faking it, anyway," ellie continued. "they're all a wreck, you can tell."

you nodded, tearing your eyes away from ellie and taking a drink. you really couldn't bear it.

"something so anticlimactic about literally graduating college and then just fucking... moving home," you sighed into your drink, chewing at your bottom lip.

"you won't be there forever. besides, you're coming to visit me, right? you've gotta experience a jackson summer. it is completely uneventful and yet, entirely comforting," ellie joked, raising an eyebrow.

you nodded in confirmation, the bass from the music vibrating in your chest.

jesus christ, what was wrong with you?

"truth or drink?" you asked, squaring your shoulders. "best and worst of college."

ellie thought for a second, her eyebrows pinching together. she took a drink anyway, clearing her throat when she thought of an answer.

"worst, that fucking frat party we went to sophomore year. it was not like the movies and i still do not forgive you and dina for dragging me along."

"i had to throw away my shoes," you remarked, faking a solemn tone.

"beeest," ellie dragged out the word, mulling it over in her mind. "that first warm day in the spring every year when we all skip class and do whatever. it's just.. good. and meeting you," ellie finished, taking another drink.

"shut up," you said, face warming. you followed suit and drank as well, your eyes darting away from ellie's face. "you're a liar."

"fuck you, it's true," ellie argued. "you know it's true."

you shook your head, staring down at the table and refusing to meet ellie's eyes. "you're my best, too," you said, hoping it was soft enough that ellie wouldn't hear it over the music, but she did.

"truth or drink, did you hook up with that guy from the club junior year?" ellie asked, completely deadpan.

you choked on your drink, forcing yourself to swallow it down before it came out in a surprised laugh. "what the fuck is wrong with you? obviously not, jesus."

"just asking," ellie stated innocently, raising her hands in defense.

"you're so gross," you complained, wrinkling your nose.

ellie chuckled, looking down with a shake of her head. she visibly relaxed, flicking the glass beer bottle with a plink.

"they're definitely not coming back for these, right?" ellie tilted her head in the direction of jesse and dina, drinks seemingly forgotten.

you laughed, your heart lurching.

god, you were going to miss them so much.

"maybe we can be nice and take them over?" you suggested, having to raise your voice now.

it must've hit a new hour, because the already loud music suddenly felt as though it was pounding through your eardrums. if you stretched your neck to the entrance, you could see the line of people out the door, waiting for wristbands.

ellie nodded once, standing and grabbing dina and jesse's drinks, along with her own.

you jabbed your phone into your pocket, along with a tube of lip gloss. ellie had your card and id, you refused to bring a bag to the bar so ellie was always tasked with stuffing your things into her wallet.

she never complained.

"you wanna get some air?" ellie shouted in your ear, yet you still barely heard her. you nodded in response, jerking your head to the back door.

on the way out, you passed the drinks to a very grateful dina and jesse.

you hadn't realized how humid it felt in the bar until you stepped outside.

you adored the patio. it was a little shabby, but you didn't mind.

string lights were woven overhead, a different vibe compared to the strobing lasers inside. there were a few potted plants, some patio furniture, and a centered, lit fireplace in the middle.

the music was still loud outside, but not as deafening as it was indoors. even so, your heart felt like it was thumping along with the beat.

it was still a little chilly in may, at night at least.

you sat on the cobbled ledge surrounding the fireplace, shadows of flames flickering around ellie's face.

"truth or drink. do you actually like this place, or do you just come here because it's our favorite?" you questioned, lifting your cup up to your lips.

"'ours' being?"

"me and dina, obviously."

ellie took a drink, wincing as your jaw dropped in surprise.

"ellie! you said you did like it!"

"the drinks are cheap," she shrugged.

"not cheap enough," you grumbled into your cup, earning a snort from the other girl.

you were torn between not wanting to meet her gaze, and staring at her as much as you could before you would no longer see each other everyday. the thought of it broke your fucking heart.

you only just met ellie practically a couple years ago, and you didn't want to imagine life without her.

it would be hollow, you thought.

"truth or drink, that time you said you didn't walk in on dina and jesse-"

"shut up," you hushed, taking your longest drink of the night so far.

"oh jesus christ," ellie mumbled. her horrified expression quickly turned into a grin once she saw your face.

the laughter that ensued made you wish so terribly that you could bottle it up and keep it in your pocket forever.

eventually the laughter teetered out, and a comfortable silence settled over the two of you. the music was loud, and you could hear shrieks of laughter and sounds of people singing along from inside.

you pushed out a sigh. your drink was nearly gone.

"are you leaving college with any regrets?" you asked suddenly, hugging your knees to your chest.

ellie looked at you for a moment, as if she were studying you. she had the faintest frown tugging down the corners of her lips. her cheeks were pink. maybe from the alcohol, or the heat from the fire, or the cold wind.

maybe all three.

ellie opened her mouth and then quickly closed it again, tearing her eyes away from you.

"probably," she said finally, taking a swig of beer.

"like what?" you pressed instantly, causing ellie to shake her head.

"it's not your turn anymore," ellie dismissed. "are you leaving college with any regrets?"

"of course," you answered simply. there were a million things that you could be referring to, but the only thing that you knew would always weigh on your mind was being in love with your best friend and not doing anything about it.

"like what?" ellie leaned in closer, as if you were going to reveal a secret.

"hey," you disapproved, but didn't truly mind. "i don't know, el. there's like, so much." you heaved a sigh, stretching your legs out before bending them in front of you, crossing one over the other.

"i love how specific you are," ellie stated, and you groaned into your hands.

you took a small sip before setting your cup on the ground next to you. "i don't know. maybe... i didn't really date, you know? i feel like everyone has these super funny hook up stories and i just.. i don't know."

"oh," ellie replied simply, twisting her fingers in her lap.

"i'm wording it wrong," you rushed, eyes scanning ellie's features. she laughed lightly, giving you grace.

"i guess i just held onto a crush for a long time," you finally admitted, bracing for impact. your fingers found plastic and you pulled it up to your lips, eyes shut while you waited for a response.

"you never told me this," ellie murmured simply, though it was nearly lost in the music.

"it's embarrassing." you spared her a sideways glance, and were caught off guard by the expression forming on her face.

it didn't look like she was going to tell a joke, or tease you about something stupid. ellie's eyes softened and she frowned, her eyebrows pinching together as she stared at her lap.

"that's fair. i get what you mean, anyway," ellie finally answered.

your heart twinged. you didn't really want to think about ellie liking anyone. the pit in your stomach finally wasn't from nostalgia, but jealousy.

"oh," was all that you could manage to say.

you both stayed silent, listening to the music that poured outside.

"i'll tell you mine if you tell me yours," you finally baited, curiosity getting the best of you.

"you're crazy," ellie said with a dry laugh, tipping the bottle back once more.

"why is that crazy? you're my best friend, you're supposed to tell me everything," you explained, trying not to be offended.

"not everything," ellie disagreed, with a tsk of her tongue.

you frowned. "come on. we're days away from not seeing each other again."

"don't say that," ellie warned. "i don't plan on like, ghosting you or whatever. so unless you do, don't say that."

"just tell me," you pleaded, scooting just the tiniest bit closer.

ellie finally met your gaze again and sucked in a breath, staring at you as if she were thinking something over. she looked unreal in the fire's glow.

jesus, even just now you could cry.

"you're being weird," you stated to deflect from your emotions. "it's not that big of a deal."

"i don't wanna fuck anything up," ellie stressed, causing a look of confusion to cross your face.

"how would that.. oh, my god! is it someone we know?" you asked, curiosity and jealousy and sadness tugging at your body and sending chills down your arms.

ellie stared blankly at you, watching you work through your never ending assumptions.

"alison? does it hurt to see her engaged?" you joked.

"you're really annoying," ellie deadpanned.

"is it... shit, ellie. is it dina?"

ellie coughed, eyes widening. "jesus, no! don't be stupid."

you sighed in defeat, tracing a finger around the rim of your cup. "i don't know anyone else that we know that you would like."

"i didn't say that we knew them."

"but you didn't deny it."

"go back inside," ellie told you flatly.

"rude," you scoffed. ellie held a straight face until she could tell by your face that you were still mentally making a list of suspects. a chuckle begrudgingly escaped her.

"i'm gonna miss you, you know," ellie said suddenly. it made your stomach drop, the casual yet earnestness of her tone.

tears threatened to spill over in your eyes again, and you didn't care about being laughed at for crying in the bar. you spared a glance at ellie, and she was looking at you again, trying to gage a reaction.

"fuck, ellie. i can't do this. seriously. maybe i can convince my professors to fail me and fail you and we'll be stuck here together again."

"it won't be that bad. you'll be alright," ellie said, firm yet soft.

"what's next, then?" you questioned, meeting ellie's eyes. you chewed on your bottom lip. you would not let a tear fall.

"well," ellie visibly hesitated, her eyes darting over your own. "we'll all move home but we'll still be frien-"

"best friends," you interjected.

"-best friends," ellie clarified. "you'll visit for the summer and then you'll go home and start a job and you'll be okay. we'll text but you'll still call me every single time you have a joke or story to tell me because i know, you can't waste something on a text without hearing my-"

"actual reactions," you finished with a whisper. ellie nodded.

"right," she continued. "inevitably jesse and dina will get married and we'll see each other at the wedding-"

"could you be my wedding date?"

"sure. and we'll all be best friends, just like always. we'll probably get a little too drunk at the wedding and since we always joke about it, we'll end up actually making out and-"

"ellie williams!" you exclaimed while hitting her arm, your face hot.

"my bad," ellie said, twisting her lips to hide a smile.

"you're not funny," you huffed, butterflies swirling in your stomach.

"i'm sorry," ellie apologized with a laugh. you nibbled at your bottom lip, transported back into thought.

"why won't you tell me about your crush?" you asked.

ellie sighed. "i already told you. don't wanna ruin anything."

you opened your mouth to speak, but you could've sworn the music got even louder.

"don't forget me?" you nearly pleaded, finding ellie's eyes.

"never," ellie reassured you, looking the most serious you had seen her all night. you felt the urge to shrink under her gaze, but you managed to hold your own.

"promise? i mean, what if once we're apart you just-"

"i wouldn't." ellie finished the rest of her beer, the glass clanking against the ground as she set it on the cobblestone.

"how can you be sure?" you were fighting for reassurance. too worried, too sentimental.

ellie stared at you for a long moment, completely silent. there was a small crease on her forehead as she watched you. she hesitated, like she was debating on something.

slowly, gently, ellie's hand was placed on your cheek. you didn't have even a second to process the action before ellie was gently pulling you forward, pressing her lips against your own.

it was sweet. careful. you felt ellie resist a laugh, probably due to the flavors of vodka and cranberry emitting from your mouth. you melted into the kiss and into her palm, the warmth of her skin pressing into your cheek.

after a few seconds, you pulled apart.

you didn't realize how tightly your eyes were screwed shut until you went to open them. you blinked, silence settling as the music comically blared around you.

"don't do that if you don't mean it," you choked out, even though the action was already done.

ellie blinked. she scanned your face once more before pulling you back in, attaching her lips to your own.

for once, you didn't overthink it. you just let it be. it felt right, like you should've been kissing ellie all along.

once you were separated, you smiled sadly. "me too," you muttered, only being able to think about how much time you wasted not being with ellie, because you were scared.

"well, shit," ellie mumbled, maybe the weight of the situation finally registered within her. "we graduate in three days."

"please shut up," you insisted with a groan.

"fuck, im sorry. look, do you wanna just be friends? i'm sure you'll move on and-"

"i don't wanna move on." you shook your head. "ellie, it's genuinely been years. i couldn't."

"me neither."

"then... what the fuck?" you asked, exasperated and giddy and devastated. your heart pounded.

"did you know that joel already thought that we were dating?" ellie quipped suddenly.

you laughed, a sound of surprise escaping you. "i'm sorry, what?"

ellie nodded, wincing at the painfully awkward memory. "when you visited during winter break. because you came a couple days before jesse and dina, maybe. he kept making these subtle little jokes like, dude, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"holy shit, is that why he cooked that huge dinner the first night?" you giggled, puzzle pieces rapidly forming together in your mind.

ellie blew out air from pursed lips, her silence answering your question. you laughed loud and hard until your sides hurt, ellie joining in once the embarrassment left her face.

you laughed as you clumsily pressed your lips together once more, the kiss teetered with giggles and smiles.

"oh god," you sighed, overcome with emotion. your cheeks burned and the bar was finally, finally playing a song that you actually liked.

you knew that you had to rejoin dina and jesse, and that the night would end eventually.

though now maybe you did have something to look forward to, a change that you would gladly welcome with opened arms.

"still best friends, right?" you asked, leaning close to ellie's ear and damn near shouting once you were back inside.

"obviously," ellie replied, squeezing your hand in her own.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams fanfic #ellie tlou x reader #ellie williams college au #requests are open btw

149 notes · View notes