#right now my friends are in denial

[d3adp00ls]

2019 me: *singing wish you were gay by Billie Eilish*

My friends: 👀

2019 Me:IM NOT GAY THE SONG ISNT EVEN LIKE THAT ITS ABOUT-

Me now: Boobs are so hot and so is BillIe Eilish like the things I would let her do to m-

My friends: OK WE GET IT SHUT UP

#Nah cuz I rlly wonder how younger me would react #i remember how my older sisters talked to me abt it and I was like #I’m not gay #but I am 🤷🏾‍♀️ #billie eilish x reader #pansexual #gay #right now my friends are in denial #fun fact: Billie Eilish was my gay awakening #literally everyone I knew knew I liked her while I kept denying it #times I was in denial #wish you were gay

[zaacoy]

Short freenoodles focused comic inspired in part by takakmimi's freenoodles post on twt!!

#I don't think he believes him #Actually married freenoodles is great BUT #The friends > queerplatonic > actually acting like a romantic couple pipeline is so funny #a. They're already both so comfy with each other that neither of them notice or b. They're both heavy in denial and won't bring it up #Sandy has been trying to wingman them together for years and has probably mostly given up by now #Mei never stops discretely taking pictures so she has IMMENSE blackmail and bragging rights the day they actually do get married #Red son is just confused and thinks they're both dumb #Mk probably genuinely hasn't figured it out yet 💀 #Do you see my vision they're great #lmk freenoodles #freenoodleshipping #lmk pigsy #lmk tang #lmk mk #lmk red son #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #Red son is so fun to draw actually I should draw him more often #Still have no idea how to draw MK's hair 💀 #Zaacoy art💫

[glittergroovy]

.

#going through an absolutely uh heart wrenching breakup right now and #i need someone older and wiser to tell me how this goes #we live together. she wants to be single. i want to keep her as my lover. i wanted to live with her like lovers for the rest of our lives. #we want to stay friends. we're best friends. weve dated for 6.5 years. im nauseous in denial i don't have people who know how to help me #dumb putting this bs on glitter blog but just in case anyone has survived something like this and can DM me hi #how do you live with someone youve had the best times of ur life with when they don't want you to be more than friends #i want to hold her forever. she doesn't want to be beholden to anyone in this point of life. #im deleting this post later just hoping someone might see and help bc i am absolutely lost and dont know how on earth to act #im in fuckin nyc and it hurts being alone somewhere so big. crying on the subway and shit. #we live together. we live together. the lease ends february 2025. what the fuck. its a studio apartment. its one room and one bed. #op barks

[randomwriteronline]

"Pohatu."

The voice echoed like a knife hissing as it scratches marble. The prisoner (the only one, completely isolated from the rest of the city), huddled in a nook, shivered a little further away into the corner he'd tucked himself into and held onto himself a little tighter.

He did not respond to his own name.

Deliberate steps moved closer: clack. Clack. Clack. Clack. Their rhythm was slow, cold; they accompanied a scrutinizing stare.

They stopped before the cell.

The air felt freezing.

"Pohatu."

The prisoner did not answer.

"You are not stupid. That I know."

The chilling voice was soft. It spoke lowly, taking the time to properly enunciate each and every word perfectly.

"I am certain you know what I am here for."

Once more, only silence replied.

"I would advise you do not make this harder than it already is."

He watched as the prisoner's knuckles shook while tightening around his own trembling shoulders, as though trying to hide his weakness.

"Collaborate. For your own sake."

A sob tore through the room.

Another.

Another.

Another.

"Please," the prisoner finally babbled, voice hoarse from disuse.

Broken.

It was his turn to be faced with the silent treatment. Not a word reached him as he cried inconsolably, naked face pressed against his arms, for what seemed like hours.

His brother stared on, unmoving, expressionless, until the wailing died down and the body slumped on itself from the release of pent up emotions.

"I take it you have returned to your senses."

A crooked whine.

"I do not believe I understood that."

A confused mumbling.

"Speak clearly."

"Yes!" his brother sobbed.

His orange eyes looked into blue ones pleadingly, begging for help, for forgiveness. He watched them furrow, watched clouds of condensation pour from the sides of the white mask.

"You are guilty of a terrible crime."

"Yes."

"You are aware of your misconduct."

"Yes."

"You are aware that I cannot call you brother."

A pained wince: "Yes."

Another long moment of quiet passed.

The prisoner had shifted his gaze onto the floor.

The Toa watched him, fists clenched as tight as he could.

"Are you sure your forgiveness is deserved?"

The body shook from another hysterical sob, as though it had just been struck by a lash: he inhaled sharply a few times, but could not bring himself to speak.

"Answer me."

There was another attempt. Again, nothing came of it.

"Pohatu."

"Please..."

He stared.

He stared at the pitiful thing so powerless and miserable, completely alone, curled on itself on the floor as it shuddered.

"Please..."

He stared at the pitiful thing speaking in a voice that crumbled upon itself like gravel rolling uselessly down the side of a mountain.

"Please, I... Please..."

For a long stretch of time, nothing happened.

Then the door to the cell unlocked.

Pohatu dared to look up: Kopaka stood over him, unflinching, unreadable, hands balled up in fists hard enough to crush boulders between his fingers, looking down with his glimmering blue eyes as the air around him crackled with frost.

He could have so easily torn him apart right now.

Only the two of them, here, in the dark, far away from any other form of life who could have heard any commotion or cared enough to investigate.

Nobody would have even known. Not until it was too late.

Kopaka kneeled before the former Toa and pulled him into a tight embrace, one hand cradling his nape while the other pressed hard on his back to squeeze him closer to himself.

He allowed himself a sigh in relief only when he felt the other's arms wrap around him, his face against the crook of his neck.

Pohatu held him by the waist tight.

"I missed you," he sobbed.

I missed you too, Kopaka could not say despite how desperately he needed to.

He tightened his grip.

Then the pain came.

Blinding and sudden, cruel, immense, so profoundly unexpected that all he could do was choke on his own breath.

His torso fell backwards, bending much farther that it should have. His heartlight pulsed erratically as he heaved, adrenaline rushing through him and locking his every muscle in place. His legs were slumped, completely unresponsive like the rest of his lower body; all that was keeping his entire form from crashing on the pavement like a broken doll were the kind, solid, dependable arms of his brother.

A hand wriggled in the now empty space where it had shattered his spine in a morbidly playful way.

He was laid down gently, all things considered.

His eyes only stared at his butcher wide and thoughtless like those of a helpless Rahi before a much faster predator.

Pohatu smiled down at him sweetly, exactly like he always did.

"I missed your soft spot for me."

He tore his hand out of his brother's spine with a ghastly crackle, not even flinching, to wrap it around his throat. He yanked: Kopaka coughed out an anguished wheeze as a chunk of his neck was thrown out, clattering a few bio across the floor.

Pohatu pressed his thumb between the Toa of Ice's face and his mask, applying just about the slightest leverage possible to part the two. It seemed to take ages, for the 'pop' of a dislodged Kanohi to echo through the silence of Kopaka's frantic breathing; but even with all that time for a counterattack at his disposal, he did not manage to raise even a single finger against the other. He only stared, fearful, shocked, in denial.

His brother laughed in the same way he always laughed - a gentle, booming sound, friendly and pleasant, that warmed one's heart.

"You couldn't hurt me if you wanted to with all your being," he mocked him, making the sneering words seem like yet another lighthearted joke as he twirled the Akaku between his fingers: "And isn't that why Tahu and Photok are dead?"

He looked onto the other's face. He'd seen it so few times - after being overwhelmed by the Piraka on Voya Nui, for example.

He remembered it had been awfully surreal, to see it; almost frightening, but familiar somehow.

It stirred nothing in him now.

How lovely.

Pohatu leaned closer to it, until he could feel the shaky breaths from Kopaka's mouth curl around him. They were barely fresh.

"A shame, eh?"

Blue eyes stared at him, horrified.

What a beautiful thing to see.

"That you couldn't save me after all."

He laughed his usual jovial laugh again as he stood up, joints cracking a bit while he stretched. The Akaku clicked onto him in a perfect fit.

How nice of him: pure unwarranted trust, forgiveness, an open door, a hug, and now even a fairly useful Kanohi to replace the one he'd been stripped of lest he use its powers to break himself out of containment. Truly, he was almost starting to feel spoiled.

Kopaka squirmed between his feet. Was he trying to get away?

He couldn't help but giggle.

"There's your only flaws: you're too smart for a leech to bite you."

Pohatu gifted him the sweetest of his smiles.

"And you love your siblings too much."

The air shattered beneath his foot with a sickening crunch.

Pohatu didn't even spare a glance at his brother as he walked away from his corpse, face crushed to bits making an absolute mess on the cold unfeeling pavement, body twitching before the rigor mortis settled in fully; the Toa of Shadow hummed a mindless, cruel song, something right out of a Makuta's repertoire, as he he made his way into the halls of Metru Nui's colosseum in search of whoever else in this enormous playground would have the honorable misfortune to be his second victim of the day.

#bionicle #pohatu #kopaka #gore tw #violence tw #death tw #random writing #HI HELLO HELLO. WELCOME TO MY SPECIAL CORNER OF HELL #listen to me now. if pohatu turned villanous he would be Near Unstoppable #its one thing having to fight a brother turned evil and its one thing having to fight Pohatu. Everybody's Friend. turned evil #hes already strong af AND he has the advantage of being aware of the above so he can use it to essentially do some psychological warfare #youd never hurt him right? if he smiles like he always does and cries and asks for a second chance? you wouldnt doubt hes sincere... right? #ESPECIALLY THAT EMOTIONAL IF CONSTIPATED IDIOT THAT IS KOPAKA. #pohatu KNOWS where hes weakest (heart) and WILL use that to absolutely fucking demolish him #and kopaka is too attached to him NOT to fall for a heartstring pulling ploy like this little show #hes desperately telling himself he can Fix Him while walking directly in the jaws of the alligator and when he cant he shuts down in denial #i hope this pulls a genuine twist. i was going for a 'you thought this was the tuyet empire AU but here comes a WALLOP' kinda deal #i have no clue abt the logistics of this au btw i was just possessed by the thought of how horrifying an evil pohatu could be

[sunrise-on-the-shore]

i need so much time to process the information i have encountered today. i'm gonna be away for a bit.

#sunrise thoughts #i do not have the stability for this. #call me a coward and an imbecile who fell to parasocial relationship stuff i get it i get it #also people keep saying to not speculate but they're doing so so much speculating and i'm so confused and lost #and i'm aware i should watch shubble's stream and such #but i am not stable at all. i am not capable of watching something that will deeply fuck me up. #i'm not ready and i don't think i will be ready for a LONG LONG while. #if you follow this blog or/and you're my friend you know why. #i am so so sorry for shubble and what she went through is horrible and i'm so fucking sad for her #but i cannot process some of the information that's happening right now. #i am aware shubble has decided to not share names for her safety which i very very much understand. #and i know when i say this it's extremely selfish and so fucking bad but i am begging i am genuinely begging #that everyone who seems to have 'guessed' who the abuser is to be wrong #i know it's extremely bad to say #but i am entering denial mode of the grief processus right now. #and like i said. i will need SO much time to process things. #i've had such a massive special interest on this man's content since 2021. it is my strongest special interest ever. #a literal pillar of my life is crumbling down in a completely unexpected way #so please don't yell at me for not being able to watch this stream and such #i need time #plus the topic is very very sensitive to me for personal reasons too #anyway. that's all i will say. and i said way too much already.

[lonely--seeker]

My brother just pointed out the necklace I've been wearing for a couple months just looks like it's Zosan themed and I haven't recovered from that... It kinda does...

#im halfway through denial right now #me blabbering #i never ever thought of buying those as anything related to op or Zosan #But i have some dumb earrings + a keychain that i bought simole bc it reminded me of Sanji #so im kinda pissed off at this turn of events #The Onix that's supposed to represent Zoro is cracked too... of you even care #don't... don't ask me why my crystals always end up cracking/breaking #a friend freaked out when he saw my quartz cracked bc i had no idea that sort of thing... doesn't happen? #and told me i might have some really bad vibes at me but what do i know i only like nice rocks

[luvsavos]

unironically bossgat lives in my brain rent free

#mar.txt #saints row #johnny gat #it started with the romance option in sr4 and how compared to every single other one it sounds a LOT like a full on love confession #escalated to me opening ao3 for the first time in forever to look for johnny x boss fics #found an absolutely WONDERFUL series of 3 (thus far) johnny x male boss pre-relationship pining fics (trophy husband malewife johnny in + #denial about pining? yes please) #now i'm seriously considering making a proper saints row oc because of this，as opposed to the saints row au i have for thor #(in which he is literally 100% the same as normal except he fucks off to a diff universe for Vacation Time and ends up + #manipulating/charming his way up the ranks of the idols to become some sort of unofficial 'leader' figure，because the idols are right up + #his alley and while he absolutely does not NEED A Cult if he saw the opportunity to have one WELL...........) #the oc is going to be a mirror to my friend's sr oc😌 parallel versions of each other essentially #can you tell the hyperfixation brainrot is insane i never seriously make ocs for games unless i REALLY like them #ive beat. the reboot and 4 back to back without booting up mh again ONCE. and ill probably beat every single other one i can get my hands + #on before i boot up mh again，unless mh6 gets announced in that timeframe (unlikely，given it seems it'll be sometime next year，which is fine)

[hard-core-super-star]

she look amazing actually in any other color except black “ for some reason i think it doesn’t suit her that much “

there a mew pic of her spotted shopping with josh allen mom

ehat is your thoughts about that? he seems a nice person but i hate him already and it’s obvious why

-🧞‍♀️

oh, lovely anon, i don't think anyone has enough time for all the thoughts i have about that mess. the main thing is that he and his family are definitely trump supporters [not to mention transphobic, racist, and all that jazz] and that is such a red flag on so many levels. the 'relationship' timeline in and of itself is a red flag but that's a different story.

the whole thing is a mess, idk what she's doing and i really don't want to think about the implications of her hanging out with people like that because it'll make it impossible for me to keep writing fics about her.

#rubix replies #🧞‍♀️ #in conclusion: denial is my best friend right now because YIKES

[reksink]

You know what that means! FIS- Heart Candy's former roommate, turned landlord 💚

#my art #my ocs #I love FIS- so much OMGA #I'm working on some OC related stuff right now and the idea of HC having an eldritch creature as a friend was so nice to me!! #They bonded over their mutual respect for denial care

[slimslamflimflam]

i’m writing peppinoise and NOBODY CAN STOP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#hahehahhehahehahhehahae #it started off as an angsty thing for lit but then i realized the first part could be turned into peppinoise so i copy pasted it into a #separate thing and now i’m doing still kinda angsty (i think) peppinoise thing!!!!!!!!!! #i will probably finish the lit version of it but not right now cause now i write gay people being gay and in denial #ooooooh dearie me the sillies are being goofs about their feelings and are unable to clearly express themselves due to harbored emotions of #guilt and resentment not toward each other but toward the world for how it’s wronged them and how it causes them to express such feelings #against each other because they have no other outlet or stable way of healthy communication!!!!!! ooooooooh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #anyway i’ll prolly post it here when it’s finished unless i die because it’s late or i forget entirely #I’ll probably post it though cause my friend who likes peppinoise is on here and i’ll probably end up putting it here in his honor #ummmmmmm anyway enough cramming words into the tags!!!!!! back to writing!!!!!!!!

[willgrahamsipodnano]

day ?????????? of having a work crush and i’m dyin in my bones

#also the way this is not a ‘work’ crush bc we are friends outside of work…… just me casually in denial #today i’m pretty sure he mumbled that i looked cute today and when i asked him what? he went what? then told me he was just mumbling nonsens #and ofc now i’m not sure if i heard him right😭😭 #this is absolutely devastating if u know me u know i hate having feelings for anybody #got me twirling my hair kicking my heels and shit. ENOUGH #scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #txt #edit 3 days later we hung out outside of work & i’m pretty sure i misheard him🫠 we love that for me

[vaguely-annoyed]

sometimes i remember i purposefully wrote "you've come to be / the plums outside / my window in the summer," for a friend i was in love with. the relationship didn't last much longer after that, and he doesn't know my plum tree hasn't given fruit in years

#nano bits #you see #i don't think i've ever written something as beautiful as that secret 'goodbye' poem if i may toot my own horn #i named it 'Heliotrope towards Algebia' and my favorite part was: #'you're the mane in the Leonides and i'm/the inflorescence taken by your light' near the very end #one day i might tell him this funny piece of trivia but for now i'm letting whoever comes across this know asdsadas #LIKE he probably does KNOW—there was the 'what we are is this: / comfort; heat / a couple of years / on borrowed time' #that came RIGHT before the plums bit #but man was he in denial for a couple of months before he actually decided to break it off on the conclusion that We Work Better as friends #and he was in-love with someone else; sometimes i wonder if I'll ever be able to write smth for someone again asdasdsa #i guess we'll see! excited to find out

[dumb-fictionkin-sideblog]

I think

I think that me thinking I'm a compulsive manipulator for most of my "aware life" has something to do with the tism

#i was watching a video on an autistic person 'reviewing' a book used by therapists to communicate with autistic people (and for cbt as well) #(which. cbt for autistic people is not a good idea at all for multiple reasons but that's not the point) #and the person started talking about the fact that they say in the book that allistics communicate by not clearly stating their intentions #(so subtext and hidden meaning behind words) #and i was nodding along like 'yep that's how it works you have to analyze everything or you'll be ridiculed eventually' #and then the autistic person recording said *not* 'we have to analyze what they say' #but 'we have to Not say what we mean in order to communicate effectively with them' and i went wait no that's manipulative #(keep in mind i was watching that video listening in for signs that i am NOT autistic because as my only irl friend says: i am in denial) #and i think that i. started masking as a survival mechanism and imitating nt people #and reading subtext and acting 'allistically' is a big part of that and. my potentially autistic brain was recognizing that as manipulation #(as a means of survival) #like i had times as a kid where not reading subtext made me be ridiculed or ostracized or mocked #so i started doing it as well but my non allistic brain recognized that as manipulation because it wasn't natural for me #and i think maybe that's also why i like analyzing texts and finding new meanings in things so much #and why i care so much about the origins of non-literal expressions like #... i don't have an english example right now but you get the idea #that. realization is very reassuring actually #maybe i'm not as bad of a person as i thought...? #sunny

[void-tiger]

Good for you mom that you can think in terms of “it’ll never happen to [me/you/loved one.]”

I cannot. I don’t WANT to. My friends cannot. My friends especially cannot now that she has a daughter, and another is pregnant. And how one has a friend who had an IUD that’s basically killing her and caused so much damage she needed a blood transfusion…but because it was a “family planning device” her doctors refused to listen then refused to take it out after they finally listened to her about How Much blood she was losing.

So YES I DO have to consider where I live. Where my friends live. Housing and food and income vs Safe For Women&Afabs. (And for many of my friends (and sometimes me; hello racially androgynous esp since people expect White to look One Way unless it’s to Whitewash Casting) we HAVE to consider racial tensions as well.)

We. Don’t. HAVE. The. Luxury. To. NOT. Consider.

…the best we can do is try to breathe through the worry and fear or it’ll consume us.

#tiger’s roar #family wank #roe v wade #misogyny #sexism #reproductive rights #racism #xenophobia #…mom your genetics didn’t make you look Are You Even White and you’re so close to post menopause to ‘not worry’ #I’m not. my friends are not. #and I DON’T Wanna LIVE in a state where body autononomy is a fucking ‘debate’ and under attack by political ads #(and whether the Trigger Law will be kept. most of the ads are against removing it since the wording to remove it was apparently PoorlyDone #I don’t wanna leave my house while still ‘intact’ #I didn’t before. but I definitely DON’T now #((buuuut I can’t even get into an obg-yn. the one who’d do the procedure according to reddit wouldn’t even lemme schedule a New Patient)) #just. CONGRATS YOU CAN LIVE IN DENIAL #((what’s especially frustrating? she has WORKED in an obg-yn’s office as a receptionist #((but she just. doesn’t fucking CARE. if anything it made her hate poor and woc more. not that she’ll admit it))

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Regularly cracks me up that I had my first kiss with a girl and my hundredth kiss with a girl and probably my thousandth kiss with a girl and would not have had it any other way

#and it was the same girl :) #and even BETTER i was her first and hundredth and probably thousandth #it's just funny to me because i never ever would have expected to have kissed a girl bc i'd thought it was wrong and yet here i am lol #have never kissed a man but have given so many kisses to my girl :) #now on the other hand when i say kiss i mostly mean smooch lol not really into the whole making out thing #but still it is interesting thinking that i'll have to explain that to whoever i end up with in the future (if i ever do) #also kind of stressful bc i don't know if people will understand #but mostly right now i'm just laughing bc little freshman me was so in denial and now i'm like yeah so you know that katy perry song? #kay has a party in the tags #kay can i just catch my breath for a second #things that remind me of my friend in a very. particular way

[soon-palestine]

"I’m personally a Holocaust survivor as an infant, I barely survived.

My grandparents were killed in Aushwitz and most of my extended family were killed.

I became a Zionist; this dream of the Jewish people resurrected in their historical homeland and the barbed wire of Aushwitz being replaced by the boundaries of a Jewish state with a powerful army…and then I found out that it wasn’t exactly like that, that in order to make this Jewish dream a reality we had to visit a nightmare on the local population.

There’s no way you could have ever created a Jewish state without oppressing and expelling the local population. Jewish Israeli historians have shown without a doubt that the expulsion of Palestinians was persistent, pervasive, cruel, murderous and with deliberate intent - that’s what’s called the 'Nakba' in Arabic; the 'disaster' or the 'catastrophe'.

There’s a law that you cannot deny the Holocaust, but in Israel you’re not allowed to mention the Nakba, even though it’s at the very basis of the foundation of Israel.

I visited the Occupied Territories (West Bank) during the first intifada. I cried every day for two weeks at what I saw; the brutality of the occupation, the petty harassment, the murderousness of it, the cutting down of Palestinian olive groves, the denial of water rights, the humiliations...and this went on, and now it’s much worse than it was then. It’s the longest ethnic cleansing operation in the 20th and 21st century.

I could land in Tel Aviv tomorrow and demand citizenship but my Palestinian friend in Vancouver, who was born in Jerusalem, can’t even visit! So then you have these miserable people packed into this, horrible…people call it an 'outdoor prison', which is what it is. You don’t have to support Hamas policies to stand up for Palestinian rights, that’s a complete falsity.

You think the worse thing you can say about Hamas, multiply it by a thousand times, and it still will not meet the Israeli repression and killing and dispossession of Palestinians.

And 'anybody who criticises Israel is an anti-Semite' is simply an egregious attempt to intimidate good non-Jews who are willing to stand up for what is true."

#palestine #gaza #free palestine