#sad trans rambling

[wellgreathereiam]

You know when a cis person imagines you to be cis too, so they specifically imagine your body looking cis or they imagine you having had a cisgender past and in that context they know how to relate to you effortlessly, but when they learn you are trans, and they act like they don't know you at all, like trying to be so open-minded that they over correct into acting like they can't possibly expect me to relate to or meet the expectations they have for a cis man, when in fact before they knew me as trans, they knew ME because my self image and their mental image of me were very much the same, but when they learn just one thing more, suddenly they know nothing.

Like the worst part of being outted for me is suddenly being very very alone and unrecognizable in the eyes of someone you considered yourself as close to, someone you were really making a connection with, someone lighting up to tell you something and then shutting down when they remember you're trans so they stop talking to you as much bc it's confusing them and hurting you and they cut their feelings out of how they talk to you and now suddenly someone who used to be warm and funny with you is just going through the motions of what they do with you, they're hollow, blank, distant, sure he fills a role in my life before but that's all he is to me, that role, we're not close, I-dont-know-him, he's-nobody-to-me. And it's like what if they're right about me?! Maybe my life is unrelatable and worthless and one huge awkward silence in a conversation and my body is disgusting and disappointing and untouchable, undesirable. It's easy to believe that! To believe they're right when that's who I spend my time around.

But I'm not!!!! They didn't treat me that way before they knew! I'm not the problem in this relationship!! I am worth knowing, nothing about how I'm living justified them separating me from them... In fact I think they're embarrassed of themselves when they talk to me. Like the idea that they could be just like me bothers them. That they could imagine themself in my life bothers them. That they could as easily grown up just like me. I think that disturbs them. Like I would be easier to understand and talk to if they could just comfort themselves in the knowledge that my life and perspective is completely foreign to them, and therefore could never happen to them, then they'd never have to worry about being transgender themself.

#boy soup #sad trans rambling #i dont know if any of this made a lick of sense

[lazylittledragon]

hey idk which anxious pre-t babe needs to hear this but i didn't get to when i was younger so. testosterone will not make you ugly. it won't make you a horrible person. it won't 'mutilate' or ruin your body. if you want to go on testosterone then literally all that happens is it makes you really fucking hot and REALLY fucking happy.

#ramble #literally very hot. like very hot #there is so much sweat #'oh you're just trying to paint a pretty picture that it's all fine' yeah i am!!! it's fucking great. i love it #trans people aren't sad clueless little babes who don't know what's going on. if you want to go on hormones you Know what it's going to do #and you WANT THAT WHICH IS WHY YOU'RE DOING IT #i hate hate hate seeing detransitioners like 'it destroyed and mutilated me' #*proceeds to list the normal effects of hormones* #it's all fearmongering and it's SICK #personally i think we should start glorifying transition more. because it's BEAUTIFUL

[theclosetedskeleton]

extremely low quality and kindof bad needful things art i made today/yesterday

#alan looks so sad in the first image for a REASON but if i explain it would be massive spoilers #alsoo the leland gaunt fanart is cropped bc of the same reason #its so hard to talk about the book without reaching spoilers PLEASE. #anyways the text for the third drawing says “hes so silly (mass projecting my trans self on him)” #i dont hc ace as trans but. he could totally be if i wanted to strike him with the trans hc hammer #the trans hammer. if you will #but hmm maybe not because hes canonically like. a cishet guy whos 40 years old HELPPPPP #GET YOUR ASS TO THE RETIREMENT HOME 🤣🤣😨😨🤨🤨☹/J 40 is not THAT old but STILL #WHATEVER i already hc someone in needful things as trans. he is also canonically a 40 (?)y/o grown ass cishet man #pov me wondering why my fav characters act cishet (they were written to be cishet) (i hc them as lgbtq+) #(theyre literally living in the 1990s) (they live in a republican town) #closet rambles again on tumblr #closet art tag ^^ #not tagging needful things i am TOO scared to

[kowabungadoodles]

drinking and doing ad-hoc repair surgery on a book from 1994, but pretending I'm a grizzled detective removing a bullet

#i had a weird gender day #considering writing a requiem for an old name #or playing a solo rpg where you're a lab assistant in some kind of cthulu lab #Anything to distract me from reading The Sad Gender Book and texting old trans friends demanding answers like some kind of crazy ex #how do you stop the underbands of sports bras from folding into two or rolling up and becoming a cutting line of pain #why does nothing fit even when its supposed to #is David still out there somewhere #on the internet #did he make it without me #it's totally normal to have a boysona who you think of a seperate person right? It's a pity I cut him loose at 16 an he never got to grow u #The tumblr tags system is the last true format for the drunken ramble #I'd say delete this later but we all know i'll forget

[primeshonkers]

my toxic trait is putting a baby in that robot

#rambles #looks at my like. fuckin four page long biology and fic planning mpreg document #not enough people use pregancy as a form of horror and societal change in tf fics. it is sad #especially horror #anyway. thats enough insanity for today #idk you know u just see a buncha trans ppl here and then all the mpreg fics are suburbian daydreams #seems... off?

[baconsoapp]

Stevie Rogers and Gender Dysphoria

if you're unfamiliar with my trans Stevie Rogers head canon, check out this post here. Anyways, more under the cut.

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about this post and how others perceive Stevie.

Like stated in the linked post, Stevie has always dealt with people not finding her body acceptable. Both in the purely aesthetic sense and the medical sense. After the serum, she has to grapple with the opposite side of the spectrum. So many people view her as a specimen, as a sex object and the paragon of man.

I think it would be interesting to view this in a trans lense. Stevie's hyperawareness to how she fits in along with others. How others behave around her and treat her.

Pre-serum, a lot of her gender dysphoria was physically-centered. Stevie wished she was fuller and smoother all over, like the typical woman seen in all the pin-up paintings she was told not to look at.

Post-serum, the same physical thoughts remained. Frequently, she wished that she could be softer around the edges and over all her new muscles. But now, the majority of the thoughts were socially-centered. She wished people still treated her with fragility and care, like a distressed dame ready to fall over at any moment.

When she comes out of the ice, the socially-centered thoughts only get worse. Now the rest of the world had the rest of a century and then some to catch up on Captain America, and how competent and masculine and assertive "he" is.

Stevie knows this is often a conflation between Captain America, the Figure, and Stevie Rogers, the person. But she can't help but balk at the expectations set for her. Maybe it's just because she has the world on her shoulders at all times, but maybe it's also because the gender roles are amplified and applied to her. That's what everyone expects of Captain America, anyway.

I just love the idea of Stevie completely rejecting gender roles and societies standards, especially after Civil War when she's already an enemy of the state lol (^^;

#also i could make this about stucky #and how stevie wishes she could be more feminie like all the girls bucky brings over #but i cant be so sad first thing in the morning #trans headcanon #captain america #mtf cap #steve rogers #catfa #catws #cacw #baconsoapp ramblings #marvel #body image #gender dysphoria #body dysmorphia

[risetherivermoon]

fkin crazy ppl would rather make an already complicated web series even more complicated by shutting down the possibility of a character being transgender

"its not realistic!" bro...u just said care and paul are the same person from alternate fkin dimensions- trans people are real

#maybe hes just trans...what a crazy thought #'it lacks authors intent so its not good rep' if your thinking abt an art piece only with the authors 'intent' in mind i feel sad for u #sry i got back into some petscop stuff lately and i was real into as a kid b4 i transitioned and seeing ppl talk abt the trans paul theory - #like this is making me pissed off #trans people exist fuck u #petscop #paul leskowitz #care petscop #petscop care #autumn rambling #autumn ranting #transgender #🍁

[leon-on-the-froggy-chair]

my mom signed my christmas presents with year with dante/my dead name and yknow what. thats progress.

#my mom is lowkey finally coming around to me being trans and shes recognizing my behavior in childhood was pretty indicative of that #other day we were talking abt it and she said “yeah you always seemed to have an innate sadness to you growing up about who you are- #“-and you seemed constantly scared of the idea of womanhood. i thought that just meant you didnt wanna grow up #“-never wouldve pieced together it was because you were having an identity crisis.” #shes also starting to really listen to trans voices online and lean into debates and has been educating my grandma as well #my mom has always been open minded so this isnt surprising #didnt expect it tho because she was so quick to be invalidating and put extra effort into misgendering me when i came out years ago #progress is progress though and I do believe people can change and she isnt denying having been hurtful and ignorant before #i very appreciate that #anyway yeah lil personal ramble in the tags

[mangora]

Ngl people who say “you can’t call ripaxel yuri even if you headcanon ripper as transfem because he’s still a man in the show!” sound kind of…transphobic-ish

#‘WELL HE WAS A MAN ORIGINALLY’ hey listen to yourself #you can feel sad that Axel didn’t get a canonical girlfriend #but don’t direct your upset towards people with headcanons or alternate interpretations #especially using vaguely transphobic rhetoric #also addition because someone is going to read this post wrong: it’s okay if you don’t think Ripper is transfem #just. idk. be respectful of others’ opinions? please? #source: I am trans and exhausted #alex’s td rambles

[wild-at-mind]

Not to talk about MRA-lite spaces again but I'm going to need everyone to understand that in these spaces, the subtext of 'men don't get to talk about their problems' is ALWAYS 'and it is women's fault!'

#my time in the MRA-lite saltmines returns to me yet again whenever i see the transandrophobia side of tumblr #look- it's just the same stuff ok? Or maybe i'm just biased because it triggers me the fucking same no matter who is saying it #also please note i'm saying MRA-lite and not MRA- I understand that MRA usually has connotations of violence for people #MRA-lite is nothing like that it's just a load of talking about men's issues but without any of the context #the very important context that you need to place the issues into wider society and its effect on everyone and not just men #these spaces may not be violent but they are quite pointless and the conversations never ever go anywhere #and it's been the same like 5 conversations for the past 15 years and no doubt much longer but that's as far back as i go with it #every time someone discovers the 5 or so men's issue they act like they just converted to a religion or something #and bring it up in everything. I was like that too at like 21 i promise i get it! but now i look back and CRINGE #and i am a guy now! ok? I get it that a lot of people are transmasc doing this i get why! but..... #i just wish it was less of a Thing. and i genuinely find it triggering. #because i do fucking care ok? i have academic books about some of the 5 or so men's issues on my bookshelf! #because actually there are people writing these books and they do care! #i had someone a while ago saying it was 'sad' to see a trans man talk like i do on this so i explained where i'm coming from #and they never came back so i will never know if they saw my point of view and that kind of sucked #hopefully that won't happen again- i really don't like arguing with other transmasc people (i like discussions though) #anyway i'll stop rambling now

[habitscapes]

ive never been a big ffan of headcanoning a "big" gender change for canon characters (ie making a canonically female character trans male or something) UNTIL. until. i saw strong sad. that fucking thing is so transgender it actually radiates off of her. you know how people accidentally make really obviously autistic characters? the brother chaps did that but with being so fucking transgender. i dont know how they did it. strong sad is the most transgender thing ive ever seen in my entire life

#im being like 99% serious #strong sad is so trans it actually astounds me whenever i remember theyre still canonically male #like nuh uh. ive decided that thing is transgender now #i should have a tag for this. uhhhh #randy rancid rambles #sure #homestar runner #strong sad

[melonlthawne]

Do I or do I not write Konbart spicy fic

#once in awhile when I’m in the mood to read that sort of thing I get sad to find such little trans!bart smut #and I think the few I’ve come across are always bluepulse which not really my thing #robin rambles #anyway hey gang how we feel about me writing trans!bart Konbart smut #obligatory both are 18+ since I know SOMEONES gonna be weird

[lockandkeyhyena]

dream daddy is a very fun game

#u can be trans!!! how awesome is that!!! #josephs route made me sad tho…………………stay with me pleaze #yeen rambles

[forsty]

THE AUDACITY OF THE NORWEGIAN HEALTH SUPERVISION OR WHATEVER ITS FKN CALLED IN ENGLISH

THEY DO NOT KNOW ME, THEY DONT KNOW THE SHIT I'VE BEEN THROUGH OR THE THINGS I'VE FELT

AND THEY HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SIT THERE AND SAY THAT I STARTED ON TESTESTERONE TOO EARLY????

TOO EARLY???

im furious im so angry im so fkn angry im gonna cry

WHAT DO THEY KNOW!!!!!!

NOTHING

Norwegian government: we love our people! we want nothing but the best for our citizens! we're one of the best countries in the world! (: yay equality!

also the norwegian government: except this HUGE group of marginalized group of various minorities because fuck those people

im just very sad and very upset that this battle has to be so fucking hard

when i try to explain to my family what being trans means, and the stuff trans people go through they don't believe and im about to fkn explode

started t too early my ass IM SO MAD!!!!!

#incoherent rambling #im very sad and upset today #im just very fkn distraught #i just want to!! be trans in peace and live my life goddamn! #my gender therapist straight up telling me they fear for the lives of countless of norwegian transpeople and what things might lead to #fkn heartbreaking

[potatobugz]

SANS UNDERTALE!

holy crap lois is that sans undertale......

Sexuality Headcanon: your skeleton is ASEXUAL (laughs devilishly whilst lighting flashes in the bg) idk about romance wise though. . . maybe biromantic

Gender Headcanon: I hadn't thought of this b4 really but thinking abt it now I think Sans being a trans man could be fun. (hehe that kinda rhymed) also bc "Sans" sounds like "trans" to me so I keep saying "sansgender"

Ship I Have With Said Character: I think Sans x Toriel is very nice! they are very silly.... Sans Undertale did my mom ☹️

BROTP: That one post abt Chara and Sans being friends actually was so so true omg. ehehehheh that would be awesome.. also Sans & Frisk being friends is equally as good

NOTP: Obviously i dont like anything thats weird but especially anythin w frisk. as number one frisk fan I really really do not. like it.

Random Headcanon: *dies* I don't think I have any random headcanons 😔

General Opinion: to be honest I have not thought all that much about Sans but I still think he's pretty swag, and a very very good character. thank you Toby fox for inventing skeling tons

#rambles #ask game #undertale #soriel #is. jsbthat the nam #apologies if this seems a tad rushed my hands are sore from typing all day which sucks!!! cuz i cant draw either #so sad #alsp i drew an utdr thing once that had all the charaxters i hc as trans and i drew sans there mainly bc i made a pun about it #but now im like 'its trans undertale. sansgenderism. so real' #FJDGSHG WAIT I HOPE THIS WAS 4 THE ASK GAME

[graham--folger]

why do i love sad pathetic men so much why do i love sad pathetic men

#this is about alec hardy #you give me a sad awkward grumpy man who collapses left and right and expect me not to adore him i’m sorry #also soooo autistic and trans and ace. he is everything #alex’s inane ramblings