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#sees a post about fitting beauty standards and like. yeah. guess i dont
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Gf rambled to me about how people come onto her and like i mean this in the kindest way possible i cannot relate to that ever happening in the fucking slightest
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writinandcrying · 1 year
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Hellou!Im the persone who asked about requests a while back(Mainly because I didnt wanna overwhelm you if theyre closed) and Im really glad they are.Anyway,could I request Donnie(TMNT),Tamaki(BNHA) and/or FatGum(BNHA)(Also,I hope I havent gone over the character limit) with a slightly chubby s/o?(Insecure or not,you chose!).You dont have to do this if you dont want to tho!Have a nice week❤
Hellou! Thank you so much for being so thoughtful, I’ll have to apologize tho, I no longer write for bnha, I had a huge burnout fand I do not feel comfortable writing about it anymore, I hope a veeeery detailed Donnie reaction to a chubby reader will make up for the absence of those characters! ♥️
Tmnt - Donnie x Chubby reader (Gender Neutral!)
I’ll have to start that all of the boys wouldn’t judge or reject you based on your appearance, being either chubby, slim, tall, short, there are a few attributes that I think each turtle would find it e seeing or interesting, but it’s more… humanly related(?) maybe one day I’ll make a post about it if you guys wanna hear my opinion on it hehe :)
Donnie(generalized) x Chubby Reader:
just like there are certain stuff about the turtles that they like and dislike about themselves, there are stuff about humans who think the same about themselves! and even though Donnie knows there are beauty standards that control many areas in humans society, he still doesn’t understand why people outcast those who are different
I think some of us (readers / shippers) get a bit :C when thinking about Donnie bc in almost every version, he had a crush on April (who is a babe in every. Version. Specially rise, I love rise-April so much, and that’s the only apriltello I’ll let it slide lmao) and that can give a “perception” that he wouldn’t even glance at some of us ( “us” = being a huge group, trans, guys, chubby girls, chubby guys, skinny girls and guys, everyone who doesn’t fit the normie mold I guess- I unfortunately think about that often. Which sucks cuz I gotta remind myself that isn’t true!!! At all!!)
I personally Headcanon Donnie being… I don’t know if interested would be the correct word, but more intrigued with how humans relate to each other, on their first missions, he knew they could… scare some of them off, “frightened by their own prejudice” as master splinter would say, but it’s far more different to hear about it than to actually live it, and it hurts to hear someone scream their heart out just by seeing you
While growing up, he started to notice not only in television, on and off midia, how people would mess around with others on the street just because of their appearance, he knew society worked though this beauty standards, but he didn’t understand it. It didn’t made sense! value someone based on what they look like? There are so many things, so many attributes to make someone interesting, and you gonna pick the most…. Boring? Plain? Vague? Shallow reason to create privilege over others? Really? (And thst enters on the topic of how almost all beauty standards are rooted in white privileged and racism but I’ll go on a tangent about it once I start it and I’ve already said a lot lols)
He could literally go on for hours about this topic (which he has. At least tried with each one of his brothers, but they never really responded well to so said topic “if humans have it bad, then what do we have left?” Raphael barked back once, an attempt to shut him up, which it worked, btw- he didn’t like to go through that direction when thinking about that topic, but yeah, what does he have left?)
He started searching about different aesthetics, ethnicities, he has folders on Pinterest dedicated different body types, cultures, he swears it’s for research reasons, which kinda is, but Donnie’s guilty pleasure is checking “different” people online, those who would deem strange and weird outside the internet, he liked seeing their content and specially their comment sections being filled with wonderful compliments, people relating to different styles and tastes, that gave him hope that there are someone out there with different views of how everyone should be “shaped”, and that maybe he will find someone who thinks he’s handsome and desirable (Donnie, just like Raph, is also insecure about his body, but he’s more… melancholic about it, if you confessed to Raphael, there would be a high change of him pushing you away, trying not to break his heart from actually believing you, while DonDon here, if you both started dating- on some days Donnie would need more reassurance that yes, his partner does think he’s handsome/hot/attractive. Otherwise he might internalize his insecurities and it will be HARD to get a confession “why he’s so upset out of the sudden” from this turtle)
With that being said!!!! (My god I do know how to ramble) without even realizing, Donnie open his “preferences”? Let’s say, Became more open minded than most, While seeking comfort for himself, and when he says he doesn’t have a type, he really doesn’t. There are so many aesthetics that could be attractive! punks, goths, cottagecore, y2k, dark academia, light academia, grunge, fairycore, alt, the list is endless! And don’t get him started on physical attributes cuz there are so many different combinations that some how, people manage to connect the most random ones and make it look great
Donnie wouldnt fall for someone specially bc of their appearance, or that would be the first reason he would fall head over heels, when you think about it, what happened to April it was that she was extremely passionate and dedicated to *insert which cause she was fighting for* and took Donnie seriously, that light up a lightbulb in his head that has never been on before, people showing how ardently they can be into something, how much they care and such, that’s attractive to him, and after that, everything that person does, or is, suddenly becomes beautiful and amazing for Donnie
Withthatbeingsaidpart2- if Donnie did fall for someone more on the chubbier side, their “plumpy-ness” would def be something to call his attention out after he developed feelings, he longed for your hugs, specially after he found out how soft and warm they were, he actually started having more naps after you caught his heart, imaging how it would be to cuddle someone as soft as you while hugging his pillow late at night on his bed (which eventually he would doze off from day dreaming so much)
Talking about day dreaming, Donnie can totally lose himself in his mind, just like with his projects, he can imerse himself in a fantasy about you two easily, which makes him totally freeze when you show up and he actually have to say or do something he has been constantly dreaming about
So please confess first, cuz when I say he can lose himself in his daydreams, that can last for months until he actually gathers courage to do something about it
While in a relationship, Donnie is totally a hopeless romantic, but not the typical “roses and candlelight’s dinner” kind, as your boyfriend, he wants to help you out no matter what, he will make aaaaas many inventions as he can that might increase the quality of your life, becomes easier to do… whatever, literally. And he always longs for your adorable reactions to his gifts
He adores your chubby cheeks, he will! Get lost! in your face! Your eyes! Eveything! He will oh so slowly caress his knuckles softly across it, sliding to your neck, traveling through your arms, he likes to squish your face a bit as well while cupping it when he goes for a kiss, he just thinks everything about you is adorable (and hot at the same time)
He really like the contraste his skin has with yours, it’s so foreign for him and he can’t help but to love how smooth your skin can be, (which leads his mind to ahem. Certain kind of thoughts. If you know what I mean)
Just like he needs reassurance about his appearance, he knows you probably had to deal with more than one unpleasant comment about your physique, so you don’t even have to ask, Donnie is so whipped with you, compliments about you just drip of his tongue, and it’s always so sweet, followed by a pair of soft eyes, always admiring you, plus, Donnie is a science / fact man, he would gather information about other cultures that value more curvy, chubby, bigger people, he would go as far as making a slide presentation how wonderful and more inclusive people are being (even if it doesn’t seams like it, and there’s still a long way to go) he would include real opinions online other than his on the matter that your body is indeed, a snack, (aaaaaand he is once again right, aaaaand just like everyone else you just have to live with it and accept it 😌 end of story)
He would definitely “put up to test” his theory of how amazing it is to cuddle someone who’s more on the chubbier side (and his theory is ✅ correct)
Cuddling becomes a weekly thing for you guys, that being you sitting on his lap, having naps, watching movies together, he loves to create or update his projects with you on his lap, holding you grounds him. Plus it’s easier to speak some kisses on your cheeks that way
He finds out some people on the heavier side stops themselves to live some experiences the hard way, he never wants to make you uncomfortable, ever. But it takes a while for him to understand why wouldn’t you like to, as an example, wear a bathing suit/ swimwear around other people, wearing lighter clothes when it’s absurdly hot during winter time, that you don’t like when he picks you up? things that don’t connect right away. he promises himself to never force you to do anything you don’t want to, but he slowly will try to support you to do whatever you have always wanted to but stopped yourself from doing so bc of your weight
He would take extra time while making out with you, he wants you to know how much he loves your body, every inch of it. Lowkey likes to drag his nails on your tights and mark you
Overall? Donnie is extremely thoughtful, independently of how his partner look like, if they were “part” of some sort of outcast from society, he would take his sweet time to show how important and special his partner is, he is extremely thankful to be able to experience love, something that not only him, but all of the boys, thought it was out of their reach for a really long time, so you bet he’s going to show how appreciative he is oof your love, of all of you 💜
I really tired to innovate a bit here, didn’t want to add the same stuff as other Headcanons that already exists (I mean, Its cute to read how we as writing blogs / authors “agree” on how the boys would react in certain situations, which it is a FactTM that Donnie is a sweetheart. but it’s also good to read new stuff, oooor you know, a new perspective of it, even if it is a “common” / “already done” scenario, you know? )
even if I mostly rambled about Donnie’s personality analysis than to actual stuff he would do or act around an chubby reader lmao, I truly hope you like this! I didn’t proof read this so I’m sorry if there are any grammar mistakes hehe
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ftm-radio · 2 years
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okay, I'm diverting from the default ask/answer format for this one because there are mentions of sensitive topics. I generally prefer to avoid these topics (though i dont have that posted anywhere, so no worries, anon) but I do want to answer anyway to try and help out.
I'd rather err on the side of caution for anybody who does not wanna read any of this, so I'm putting the ask and my response under a cut.
⚠️cw: brief mentions of sex & horniness, along with concerns about fetishization
Anonymous:
So…I don’t really know how to phrase this but I’m hoping you can help and this isn’t creepy. I’m a straight cis woman and have never had dysphoria beyond what I assumed was normal puberty woes (hated my chest getting bigger, hated getting a period, hated dresses). Recently something came up during sex that put the thought in my head of having a penis and I have not been able to stop thinking about it. I bought a binder and almost screamed with joy at how I looked but chalked it up to looking skinnier without my breasts in the way. (I’ve always had body image issues and I thought it was about weight but now I’m…not sure?)Today, “just to see”, I stuffed my pants with socks and I swear I almost passed out with how amazing it looked and felt. But with each of these explorations has come a really strong, idk how to better phrase it, horniness, like more than I’ve ever felt before when dressing up my female sexiness. So now I’m really confused about whether it’s like I’m just feeling confident and sexy and that’s why vs maybe I’m fetishizing? I don’t know any trans guys so idk if this is normal or if I’m being gross. I’m sorry if this is offensive and weird and you can ignore me if so but i just feel so bad and confused and idk what to do or who to talk to.
okay so right off the bat I wanna assure you that no, this is not creepy, offensive, or weird! you aren't doing any harm by exploring your gender and/or how you present yourself. it's totally fine to try new things and experiment and question! (it can be fun & i feel like more people should do that, tbh.) and I'm not an expert on what is/isn't fetishization, but what you're describing does not sound like fetishization to me. so I hope that helps you feel better and eases some of the anxiety!
Now, there's a lot more to discuss, so I'm gonna get right into it. This will be wordy. Buckle up.
Let's start with dysphoria and euphoria.
You mention hating when your chest got bigger, and I definitely understand that. I didn't actively start disliking my chest until after I realized I could potentially be rid of it, but for as long as I can recall I've been emotionally distant and uninterested in that part of me to such an extent that as a teen I would occasionally, uh... daydream about getting breast cancer and needing to have my breasts removed and then thinking, 'yeah,,, I'd be fine with that.' hahaha #justgirlythings amirite?
You also mention possible body image issues around weight. I'm a fat trans guy, and before I realized I was trans I also thought all my problems with my body all revolved around the fact that I was fat, that that was why I was uncomfortable and why I felt like my body didn't fit. I didn't know anything about dysphoria or trans people until I was an adult, so all I knew growing up was that being fat was "bad" and that's what I got bullied and snickered at for, so *of course* that was why I felt shitty about myself!!! Yeah, not quite. My brain just didn't know what the problem was so I directed all the blame at the thing I did know about.
But nowadays, I'm just not as bothered by my weight/body shape. I felt like my only chance at being happy as a girl (or a.. woman, I guess. ew.) was to be thinner and fit society's beauty standards as much as possible, but now I know that I can be happy just being a guy. any guy. fat, thin, buff, somewhere in between—I'd be content anywhere in that spectrum as long as I'm a guy. It wasn't my size/shape that was the problem, it was my gender, and gender dysphoria. And maybe that's how it is for you, too. it's something to consider, at least.
Okay, moving along! so dysphoria is the crappy part, the discomfort and distress. Let's get to its fun (and much cooler) cousin you may not have heard much about: gender euphoria!
See, what you experienced when you tried a binder & packing for the first time sound quite a bit like gender euphoria to me. In my experience, the first few times you feel euphoria are the most intense and vivid because its a big shock to your system after however many years you've gone feeling not-quite-right. And then after a while you kind of get used to it and it's not quite so overwhelming. It's like first you have these crazy fireworks going off, but then it simmers down to a cozy little candle. Still glowing, still warm, but it's more familiar, more like home.
You also mention feeling a different kind of excitement (horny) and I'm.. not sure I can help you much with figuring that out. 😅 I'm decidedly quite asexual, so I don't have a whole lot of experience with uhhhh sexy feelings and whatnot. I do think you could definitely be feeling way more confident in yourself and your appearance, and that might be what's leading to these feelings, but that's as far as I can guess.
I can at least attest to the fact that binding and presenting more masc made me more confident in my appearance and feel better about myself just like, in general, so for someone who is more inclined to ~sexy feelings~ than I am, I think it would make sense for you to feel hotter? idk, I don't really go here.
now, regarding your worries about fetishizing. I already said before that I don't think that's what's going on (and i still stand by that) but I just want to explain that a little more. Your excitement seems to be focused more on yourself and what you're doing than, say, trans men or trans people in general, so I don't think that's a fetish. If you were specifically lusting after trans guys because of their transness, that would be fetishization, I think. In my opinion, it sounds like you're just feeling yourself out and learning what makes you feel good, and that's perfectly fine. Nothing wrong with that. :)
As for not knowing what to do about all this, I would say that reaching out to somebody (me, in this case) is a great first step. If you're trying to figure yourself out and what you want, then research can help, especially if you don't know a lot about trans people and the lgbt+ community in general. Obviously you found my blog, but there are plenty of others you might find helpful! I specifically recommend @ transgenderteensurvivalguide as they have a lot of info and resources that have helped me out (despite not being a teen, lol).
Another option for you (in addition to research) is to dig down deep and do some journaling!!! yeah. sorry. it's kind of my go-to. write about what you're feeling and ask yourself questions. (If you want a sort-of guide thing for this, I answered another ask recently-ish on my blog where I had a bunch of example questions that i myself have used when journaling.)
If you want to jump right in and try more than binding or packing, you could also try experimenting with what pronouns you use! whether it's in-person with safe people you trust, or with an anonymous account online that your friends/family won't find, that could help you get a sense of what's up!
Okay, i think that's all I've got right now. This wound up pretty long, as per usual, and responding to this took a bit longer than I meant to, but I hope you're still hanging around and this can help you out, anon. I also hope anybody else who reads this can benefit in some small way.
I think one of the most important things for you to do is to go easy on yourself. Gender is way more complicated than our cis-iety (cis society, I 100% stole this word from someone) teaches us. it's okay to be confused and not know quite where you're at, and it's okay if you don't have an answer right away. you have time to figure this out. hell, you can take as long as you want. there's no rush! nobody is standing at the golden Gates of Validation with a stopwatch to see if you're fast enough to get in.
if you have more questions, my inbox is open, and I wish you the best, wherever you end up.
💜
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disaster-bay-leaf · 3 years
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Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)
4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99
I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡
uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨
4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?
hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between
and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)
6 - do you keep plants?
honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )
7 - do you name your plants?
yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj
9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?
oh god oh dude you have n o idea
i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time
12 - whats your favourite planet?
oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)
19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?
okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it
22 - are you a morning person?
n o
i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful
but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am
23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?
except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest
28 - sunrise or sunset?
i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock
but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose
33 - whats your fave pastry?
and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj
either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding
34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?
awwww this is cute
okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes
46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of
what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*
47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?
huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)
52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?
the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj
but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too
as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about
59 - whats your favourite myth?
i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks
but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example
60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?
o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius
some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it
63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?
okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again
66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?
either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition
or something purple (maybe not belladonna)
83 - whats some of your favourite album art?
god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that
“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too
also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say
and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)
87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?
this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):
- the princess bride
- inception
- night at the museum
- SPIRITED AWAY
- forrest gump
- truman show
- E.T. (i cried okay)
- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)
- parasite
and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good
93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?
honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short
also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form
99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them
this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:
- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)
- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)
- tears and rain by james blunt
- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie
- almost home by mxmtoon
- anything by hozier really but shrike especially
- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)
- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)
- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers
- autoclave by the mountain goats
oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)
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reignmyworld · 5 years
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If I ain’t got you SongFic - Roman Reigns x Reader
Note: I apologize in advance as I got really carried away with that one, so there are a lot of words and I mean a LOT of words. If you nevertheless feel like reading it, I would be really happy about that :-) (It’s good, I promise. Well, at least I hope so :D )
I have added the keep reading line on desktop, so I really hope that it works on mobile as well. If not, I would like to apologize in advance for the long post :-/ 
Summary: You had met Roman some years ago when your car broke down in the middle of nowhere, managing to reach his garage just in time. Slowly but steadily you fell for each other, being happy as you could be. If it weren’t for your family. Coming from a wealthy background, they were not in acceptance with you dating a mechanic, whom they considered good enough for their social circle. It didn’t take long for him to have those doubts as well, questioning your relationship as a result. 
Request: The SongFic for “If I ain’t got you” by Alicia Keys had been requested by @queenofthearchitect. I’m so sorry that it took so long, but I hope that you like it and that it somehow met your expectations. :-)
Warnings: Mechanic AU, angst, fluff, hurt, comfort
Pairing: Roman Reigns x Reader
Tag List: @queenofthearchitect @trixdeee @calwitch @alexisbagans143 @the-queens-reign @mermaid-at-heart @taryn-dibiase @kingslyers-reign @scuzmunkie @vebner37 @nikora3010 @aria725 @ashhdaniellee95 @roman-hetfield @lustyromantic @i-dont-care-i-ship-it-69 @easyobsession @calicina @neganlangdon
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Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power, yeah
Some people live just to play the game
*Five years ago*
„Hello, is there someone, that could help me?“, you wanted to know as you stepped into the dark, musty garage. On the one hand you were glad that you actually arrived here safe and sound and on the other hand you cursed yourself for getting into trouble and even more so you cursed your father. You were absolutely happy with your former car as it was all you needed to get from A to B. But it was typically your father to lecture you about how that „old clunker“ was not suitable for someone like you and that you should drive a car according to your and your family’s standards. He always made it sound as if you were better than the rest, as if the people in your circle of society wouldn’t bleed red like anyone else did. Of course, you loved your parents and you were grateful for the life they offered you, but you nevertheless couldn’t understand that arrogant behavior of having to dress according to society standards, having to stick to people of your social circle, having to go to one of the elite universities and yes, of driving a car, that was suitable for you, even if your father was the only one alongside your brother, that had that opinion.
You were quite sure that it wouldn’t have happened with your old car but now you were stuck in the middle of nowhere after the engine of your car began stuttering before it broke down completely just in time as you had reached that little gas station next to a garage. You were approximately 100 miles away from your hometown as you were on your way back from a business appointment your dad had asked you to join since you were part of his team of unrelenting lawyers. Well, and now you were stuck somewhere on the countryside, where you had to walk probably 10 miles until you would find the next best house. You just hoped, that you were at least lucky enough that someone would be working in the garage but the door not being locked gave you at least some hope, that dropped bit by bit, however, when you realized that you couldn’t hear any noise. „Hello?“, you tried it again but with just as much success as before, meaning none at all.
„For fuck’s sake.“, you grumbled, thinking how you should go on. A short glance at your cellphone told you that you didn’t even have a signal. „Great, just great.“, you sighed in annoyance. You slightly jumped as you suddenly heard a deep voice behind you asking: „May I help you?“ Your hand immediately covered your heart as you tried to calm down a little bit. Being sneaked up on somewhere in the middle of nowhere with no-one knowing where you were, was not exactly what you were looking for. „Damn, you have scared me.“, you said, trying to suppress the shaking of your hands as you were turning around. „I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.“, the guy in front of you said, almost making you hitch a breath. You had no idea what you were expecting but it definitely wasn’t a mechanic like him. The guy standing in front of you looked simply stunning. He was tall and muscled, his pitch black hair held in a bun, a few strains having fallen from it. The jeans, he was wearing, was ripped, the grey tank top spotted patterns of grease here and there. It was a rather tight fit on his body, giving away his defined chest, the tattoo covering his whole arm and part of his chest making him look more dangerous than he probably was. His huge hands were covered mostly with grease just like part of his face, telling you, that he must have worked on fixing a car just moments ago.
You had to tell yourself to look away as you were quite sure that you were not only staring but definitely checking him out, which you surely didn’t mean to although he was one of the hottest guys you had seen in your life. You almost drowned in his dark chocolate brown eyes, that sparkled with amusement, and it took you some time to figure out that he had been talking to you. You scolded yourself as you tried to focus on what he was saying, wanting to know: „I’m sorry, I must have went blank there. What have you said?“ His deep voice sounded entertained as he asked again: „I wanted to know whether I can help you.“
„Oh yeah, yeah.“, you nodded, taking a deep breath and replying: „My engine broke down on my way home and I have just made it here in time. Are you the only mechanic around?“
„Why? Don’t you trust me to be able to fix your car?“, he winked at you and you felt how heat was creeping up your neck as you shook your head, saying: „No, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just curious that is all.“
„Don’t worry, I was just joking. But to answer your question, yes, I’m the only mechanic here. This is my garage respectively my gas station.“ You nodded your head as you had no idea what to say. Actually, you were pretty good doing smalltalk and all in all you were good with words and carrying a conversation as well but at the moment you simply were at a loss for words. He - whoever he was - took a rag out of his pocket in order to clean his hands, saying: „How about you show me that car of yours and I see what I can do for you?“
„Sounds like a plan to me“, you nodded your head, walking past him so you could lead him to your car. Slowly but steadily you were gaining back your confidence as you reached it with him following on your heels. As you turned around, you pointed at your nose, saying amused: „You missed a spot there.“, causing him to clean his face like he did with his hands before. „Thanks, doll“, he winked at you and you had no idea how you should react as this certainly was not the way you were used to strangers talking to you. Then again, you were on the countryside, where this was probably normal. „That’s it“, you said, pointing at your car as if it would have been uncertain what you were talking about, causing him to whistle as soon as he took in the sight of your vehicle. „That Mercedes is yours?“, he wanted to know in disbelief, probably judging you already as daddy’s little girl, that got spoiled with all she wanted. You shrugged your shoulders as you answered: „Unfortunately it is, yes. It’s not that I could stand that car but my father was of the opinion, that it would bring me safely from A to B. Guess he was wrong and he should have let me stuck with my old companion.“ You sure as hell wouldn’t mention that your father was of the opinion, that it was only suitable for your social circle, having rambled about it too much already. You had no idea why you even mentioned it, he was a stranger after all, but somehow you had the feeling of having to justify yourself as you didn’t want to be seen as stuck up, something you hated to be seen as, especially since you were far from it, no matter your familiar background.
„It’s a beautiful car, that’s for sure. Unfortunately those modern vehicles are rather frail for errors of any kind, especially due to all the technical support systems they are packed with. You said that your engine broke down. Did it just go out from one moment to the next?“ You shook your head, explaining: „No it was basically stuttering for a bit when I were a few meters from your drive, so I guess I was just lucky that I actually made it to the gas station before it broke down in the middle of the street.“ He nodded his head, asking you to unlock the door so he could open the front lid in order to take a closer look. You did what he had been asking for and it didn’t take him long to actually find the damage. Although you had no knowledge about cars respectively their single components you listened closely when he informed you that the engine would have to be replaced, which was not only expensive but also would take some time to have it ordered and delivered. „You’re not having one of those here?“, you wanted to know, being quite sure that a garage in the city wouldn’t have to waste much time in order to repair your car, well at least not those, that you usually went to when something with it was wrong. He gave you a look as if you had lost your mind as he replied: „Sweetheart, those garages you’re probably used to, might have them in storage but if you look around this is a tiny place here. People, that come here and need my help, usually drive older cars with a minimum to zero extra equipment. So no, I don’t happen to have that special engine in the back of my garage. Fan-belts, spark plugs, brake disks, those kind of things, yes. An engine for your sports car? Definitely not.“
You gave him an annoyed look, on the one hand because he made you sound really dumb and on the other, because you certainly were not a fan of being given nicknames by a stranger, no matter how hot he was. „Yeah I got it, thank you for the explanation. How long does it take to order the engine, have it delivered and have the car fixed?“, you asked, being pretty sure that you actually didn’t want to know the answer. „A week if we’re lucky. Deliveries out here aren’t really on time to put it in a nice way. They either arrive or they don’t. And usually people around here just accept it. It’s more of a „When it comes, then it comes“ kind of thing.“
„A week? You can’t be serious. I need to be back in the city tomorrow afternoon at the latest as I have an important business appointment.“, you exclaimed, not willing to accept his answer. „Well I guess you have to cancel that one, doll.“; he winked at you, causing you to groan out in frustration. „Could you please stop with all of those nicknames? I didn’t know that we had met each other before. And I can’t just cancel that appointment. I have to discuss an important law suit with a client. Is there nothing you can do?“ If he was offended by you calling him out due to the names he had been giving you, he at least didn’t show it as he responded: „I’m not familiar with practicing magic, I’m sorry princess. So no, there is nothing I can do.“
„So what do you suggest? That I stay in the middle of nowhere for at least a week until my car is repaired? Do you even have something like a motel out here?“ You highly doubted it as you hadn’t seen too many houses along the way, especially none, that had offered a room to rent. You cursed this whole day. You were tired after the meeting marathon you had, it was already dawning, your brand new car, that you didn’t even want to drive, broke down in the middle of nowhere, and now it even seemed as if you had no chance of getting away from there within the next hours. Somehow you had the feeling, that it couldn’t get worse. Well, you were wrong when the mechanic told you: „Unfortunately not. Motels aren’t a thing around here. Since we’re not really near one of those highways being regularly and frequently used, motel owners couldn’t really survive out here due to the missing customers.“ Perfect, it just went worse.
Your frustration grew bit by bit and you felt how you were close to tearing up, an annoying habit of yours as you tended to get rather emotional when being frustrated. It was not so much that you would scream around and throw a tantrum, no, it were rather tears of frustration, that you had to fight back constantly, when something didn’t go the way you planned. You took a deep breath, trying to figure out your options. You certainly didn’t want to call your father for help although he would have probably picked you up but since you and him had your problems recently that definitely was off the table. And you highly doubted that a taxi would drive so far into the countryside, probably just shrugging it off as a joke when you called for one, that was if you found a telephone, that was actually working. Your brother was off the table as well. You actually got along quite well with him in former times but ever since he had become your father’s business partner, being engaged to a rather stuck up bitch, whose family had even more money than your own, he got lost almost completely in his arrogance and probably would use the situation you found yourself in as a further occasion to lecture you how you have failed again as for him, anything that didn’t meet extraordinary measurements, was classified a failure. So no, that wasn’t an option either.
„Damn it.“, you mumbled as you ran out of ideas how you should go on from here. „I guess you have no-one to pick you up?“, he wanted to know with you shaking your head as you answered: „My family and friends live in my hometown approximately 100 miles from here and even if they would be willing to drive here, most of them I wouldn’t want to ask for help even if my life depended on it.“ You gave him a sad smile as you realized how terrible that must have sounded but whatever he was thinking, he didn’t give it away. Although he was friendly and polite he obviously had judged you to a certain degree already as he said: „It probably doesn’t meet your usual standards but if you want to, you could stay in my home for the night. It’s nothing fancy but at least it’s a roof over one’s head. And I promise that I’m not a psychopathic serial killer.“ He gave you a beautiful smile and you couldn’t help but chuckle although you were slightly offended by the fact, that he obviously was of the opinion that you would turn up your nose at standards lower than what you were used to. You couldn’t help but ask yourself what an expression you must have given to people, that didn’t know you as you always thought that you were different than your family, that you didn’t send out an aura of arrogance, that money hadn’t corrupted you or put you in a position where you thought you were better than other people. You tried to push those thoughts away, didn’t even want to think about why you were thinking such things just because a stranger said something about standards, that probably wouldn’t meet what you’re used to, but you couldn’t help that you were questioning yourself.
„That’s probably exactly what a psychopathic serial killer would say if he wanted to lure his next victim into his home.“, you said amused, causing him to laugh out loud, answering: „Yeah probably. But I can promise you that I will do you no harm.“ You had no idea why, since you actually were a person, that didn’t trust other people easily, but somehow you could tell that he was sincere. And it wasn’t as if you had much of a choice anyway, so you gladly accepted his offer. At least you wouldn’t have to stay outside in the middle of nowhere and sleep in your car. And it would give you some time to think about your next steps. „Can I leave my car like that? I mean no one’s going to steal it, will they?“
„I’m pretty sure that no one’s coming in order to do so. The people living in the nearby town don’t even lock their doors since everyone is only interested in their own stuff and don’t really care for other people’s poverties. So you’re good. Besides that, we don’t have much of a choice than to leave it here. Well, except for pushing it into the garage, so if you want to help me, we can definitely try it.“
„No, I’m good. My heart’s not really attached to it. I would just hate if I had to explain it being gone to the insurance at a later time.“, you shrugged your shoulders, before you got your little suitcase out of the trunk and locked the car afterwards. Whenever the gas station and garage would get closed, you were ready to go. „Give me a few minutes to take care of everything around here and I will give you a ride, okay?“
„Absolutely fine for me.“ Before he turned around he held out his hand to you, an irresistible smile on his lips, saying: „I’m Roman by the way.“ You shook his hand, returning his smile, answering: „I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you, Roman and thanks for saving me out here.“
„It’s my pleasure“, he said amused before he turned around to head back into the garage in order to turn off the lights there. Staring at his back now you had to admit to yourself that his ass was just as stunning as anything else on him. „Good Lord, Y/N, stop it. You’re not a teenager with a hormone problem anymore.“, you scolded yourself, shaking your head due to your behavior. Instead of drooling over a hot mechanic, you should have thought how to get back and what to do with the important meeting, that you probably would miss tomorrow. And more importantly how you should get back respectively what you should tell if you didn’t return until your car was fixed. You were leaning against your car, watching how the sun slowly set on the fields, being suddenly blinded by a pair of headlights. You were obviously so caught up in your thoughts, that you didn’t even hear the car drawing nearer until it stopped right next to yours. „Jump in“, Roman said through the open window of his old pick up truck and you couldn’t help but smile. You definitely preferred those old cars over those fancy modern ones. You moved over to the passenger’s side and slipped onto the seat there. Before you could say anything you heard his deep voice: „It’s not as fancy as your Mercedes but at least it’s driving.“ You shook your head as you mumbled: „It’s perfect the way it is.“  As soon as he had reached the highway, you wanted to know: „Do you live far from your workplace?“
„It’s a matter of perspective and how you define far I guess. It’s approximately 20 miles one way.“ As you realized what direction you were taking you stated: „I think I had passed that little town shortly before my car started to mess up.“
„Quite possibly, yeah. It’s not too big, actually the typical American small town with a few farms surrounding it.“
„I’m sorry if I sound noisy, but how can you actually make a living here? I mean, you said before, that here aren’t even motels since this is not one of the frequented routes.“ You heard him chuckle as he answered: „I’m not living from people, that happen to pass by. Of course, there are some when they take this route to get to their destinations instead of the packed ones, but most of the time it’s the people living in the small towns around here. My hometown is not the only one, there are a few in a few miles distance and mine is the only gas station respectively garage around here. So sooner or later if they need something, they end up here. Besides that, I’m actually specialized on old-timers and not many repair them anymore nowadays. So from time to time I’m called to bigger towns or cities if they can’t fix their old cars themselves, which basically gives me an extra income.“ You nodded your head in understanding, having to admit to yourself that you didn’t even think of the fact, that his garage could be the only one in a radius of several miles. You had no idea how long you were actually driving until Roman stopped the car in front of a beautiful yet old house. „Here we are“, he said before he got out of the car, closing the door behind him, moving over to your side, opening the door for you so you could get out. „Thank you.“, you stated, following him after he had told you to do so.
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
And I've been there before but that life's a bore
So full of the superficial
When you entered the house, you had a feeling of security, that you couldn’t really explain. It was absolutely cozy here and the whole furniture, the decorations and everything else were so much more loving placed than the ones in your parental home could have ever been. There were pictures on the wall, that caught your attention. You didn’t want to be noisy but you found yourself peeking at them. Roman must have noticed while getting rid off his shoes, stating: „That’s my parents and my little sister. You probably find pictures like those in every room if you just take a look.“ You smiled sadly as you answered: „They are beautiful. The only family picture in my former home was a big one, that rather served for representation purposes than to treasure a valuable memory.“ You could not really name the look he was giving you but if you had to take a close guess, it looked mostly like compassion. You shrugged it off as you certainly didn’t feel like talking about your family now. You followed Roman’s example, getting rid off your shoes as well before you followed him into the kitchen. A short glance in the refrigerator told him, that he should run for errands rather soon, hence why he let you know, an apologizing look on his face: „I must have forgotten to replace everything in here. Usually my sister is the responsible one when it comes to that. All I can offer you are the ingredients for a sandwich. It’s not much, I know, but it’s better than nothing.“
„It’s absolutely enough. Thank you.“, you said before you sat down at one of the chairs at the kitchen table. As Roman was collecting everything he needed, he let you know: „You can either have my sister’s room or my own and I crash on the couch. Whatever you prefer.“ Although you felt kind of comfortable here, you didn’t want to be an intruder and you certainly didn’t want to make any inconveniences, hence why you said: „Neither you nor your sister have to move because of me. If I can sleep on the couch I’m more than just grateful.“ You had no idea how old he was but you found it kind of strange that he was still living in his parental home. Then again, maybe they were so old already that they needed his every day help and therefore he didn’t bother to live somewhere else. You were curious, yet you didn’t dare to ask. He was placing everything in front of you before sitting down himself, a bright smile on his face as he answered: „You’re not making any inconveniences Y/N, don’t worry. My sister is currently away in college so her room is vacant. And I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.“ You felt how you were getting emotional, seeing how someone, that knew nothing about you but your name was so friendly and helpful while your own family probably wouldn’t even have thought offering a tiny piece of help as someone like him wouldn’t have been worth their effort. You gulped hard, mumbling a silent “thank you”, before you made yourself dinner. You were eating in silence for quite a bit before your curiosity had the worst of you. „May I ask you something?“, you wanted to know with Roman nodding his head, stating: „Sure, go ahead.“
„Isn’t it lonely out here? I mean at your workplace? Have you never felt the urge to go to college and move away from here to a place, where there’s more life?“ You were aware how arrogant that must have sounded but you certainly didn’t want to indicate that his job was a lousy one. It was more out of curiosity since you had grown up in completely different surroundings. „You mean go to college and become someone important? Someone, that wouldn’t come home at the late evening covered in grease and dirt and smelling of sweat?“ You had no idea whether he was hurt or not and before you could take back, what you had said before, he gave you a sad smile, explaining: „Don’t worry Y/N, I didn’t take it the wrong way. I actually went to college a couple of years ago. That was, when my sister was still at the beginning of junior high. This gas station and garage was something my father had taken over from his father and he had taken it over from his and so on. And although I love it and always wanted to be in charge one day, I hadn’t thought that it would be so fast. I think I was in my 3rd semester, I wanted to study afterwards and I wanted to work somewhere in the big city for quite some time before I intended to return and step into my father’s footprints. Unfortunately destiny seemed to have other plans for me. One day when I was preparing for a rather important exam I received a call from my aunt, asking me to come home immediately. My parents had been killed in a terrible car crash and my sister couldn’t bear it. My aunt had been afraid that she would do something to herself. That basically was the moment the life I initially had dreamed about for myself was over. I left college, returned home to this town and took care of my sister the best I somehow could, trying to replace the parents we both had lost. And since it was always her dream to see the world, to become a doctor one day, I stayed here, trying to earn the money the best I could by taking over the garage and the gas station, so I could support her, so at least one of us could live the dream we had. Don’t get me wrong, I love it here, I love what I’m doing and I hope that I’m making my father proud although he doesn’t know about it, but it was not exactly what I had planned. And I know that my parents hadn’t either as they wanted me to live my dream, they wanted me to study, live and work in the big city, but destiny just wasn’t in agreement with our plans.“
You felt that you were close to tearing up when you whispered: „I’m so sorry. When did this happen?“ He gave you a sad smile, answering: „ A few years ago, but I still haven’t managed to go into their room. It still looks like it did the day they left. Going in there is just too overwhelming. So I would offer you that room to stay in, but I don’t want it to change, as stupid as that may sound.“
„That doesn’t sound stupid at all, quite the contrary actually.“, you mentioned, your voice thick with emotion, cursing yourself that you made him share his terrible story with you. Roman made you snap out of your thoughts when he wanted to know, probably in an attempt to lift the mood: „What was your old companion?“
„I beg your pardon?“, you looked at him confused as he chuckled, explaining: „Back at the gas station you mentioned, that your father should have let you stuck with your old companion. What car were you driving before?“ You smiled sadly at him as you answered: „A Volkswagen Beetle.“ With him asking in surprise: „Really?“ You nodded your head as you could tell, that he was rather curious and since he had been so open to you, you felt as if you should explain it in more detail. You took a deep breath before you stated: „I probably should explain that. What you have told about your parents, about your family as a whole, they sound as if they were really loving people, that cared for you and that just wanted the best for you. My family is kind of different. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure that my father and my mother love me just like my older brother does, but they don’t have a loving mannerism to them, they don’t really show it. You probably have already thought about it, maybe even judged me which I can’t blame you for, but my family is rather wealthy, being part of a higher social circle. I grew up rich, if I said that I wanted a horse, I knew that it would have been in front of my door the next day. My parents, my whole family, lives and breathes for money, they define themselves over status symbols. My dad had established a rather famous law firm and for him, just like my mother it was clear that my brother and myself should join it, first as employees, then as business partners and later we should take it over. They never cared about what I actually wanted. Sure they gave me a life, where I had not to worry how to make a living but they didn’t care about what made me happy. My brother is different, he’s just like my dad. They share the same vision, they share the same graving for materialistic things. I never wanted to go to Harvard, I never wanted to study law, I never wanted to be a part of that social circle they expect me to be a part of. But they didn’t care as it was simply expected. I always wanted to break free, I wanted to live my dream. And I tried to do so by taking a side job as a waitress without them knowing as they would have forbidden it, telling me that it was not suitable for someone like me. But I loved it. Whenever I told them that I would be meeting some friends, I worked my shifts and for months and years I was saving the money I made there to buy that old Volkswagen Beetle. It belonged to one of the regular customers at the diner I had been working in. She loved it dearly as it was a gift from her husband, that had died a long time ago. When she was too old to drive on her own I asked whether I could buy her car as it would have broken my heart to watch her as she had to give it away. She was  so grateful, even wanted to give it to me as a gift, but I wanted her to have the money I have worked for. I can’t even explain it, but it meant a lot to me to buy something so valuable with the money I have earned for myself, even if it was an old car, that a lot of other people would have brought to the next best junk yard. But for her it meant wonderful memories and for me it meant treasuring something, that was so valuable to someone before, as well as fulfilling my dream of buying something I have worked and saved for. I absolutely loved that VW Beetle and I was so happy when I returned home with it although it turned out that I was the only one. When my dad saw it, he threw a tantrum, accusing me of betraying his principles, lecturing me in what his friends and our family should think if his daughter drove around in something so poor like that car. He wanted to have it taken away but somehow I managed to keep it although he had ignored me for months. But for me it was not only a car, it was a sign for the freedom and the dream I was craving for, and that my parents didn’t want me to have. When it finally didn’t work anymore I was heartbroken. And I hated that Mercedes, that my father gifted me with. I have lied to you before. His reason was not to get me safe from A to B, his main concern simply was that I should drive a car, that was representable for him. And I absolutely hate it.“
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you, baby
If I ain't got you, baby
Roman listened closely to your story and he felt a deep wave of compassion for you. Growing up with parents, that only wanted him and his sister to be happy, to live their dreams, hearing something so different from his own, made his heart heavy. You gave him another sad smile as you stated: „I’m probably the typical poor rich girl, that everyone has heard of but no-one ever believed to exist.“  
„That sounds absolutely terrible.“
„That’s how life is, I suppose.“ You shrugged your shoulders, trying to somehow hide your emotions. „I’m sorry. I mean growing up like that must have been... I don’t even have words for that.“, Roman said, his voice heavy with compassion. „It’s okay, I’m still here after all.“ , you joked, turning quiet afterwards just like he did. You sat together in a comfortable silence for quite a bit before Roman wanted to know: „Have you thought about what you want to do with your car? As already stated I probably can only repair it within a week at the earliest. Since you mentioned that you need to be back tomorrow, I could try to get a tow truck from the city, that could bring your car in a bigger garage and could give you a ride while doing so. I would drive you myself but unfortunately I’m having an appointment tomorrow and I have no idea how easily I can cancel that.“ A feeling of gratitude washed over you as you realized how helpful and kind he was. You really wished, that you would have known more people like him. Before you could answer he winked at you, saying: „Or you cancel your meeting and stay here until your car is fixed, driving it home yourself once it has its new engine.“ You were not sure whether he was joking or not, but if you were honest to yourself you kind of liked the idea. Simply not going back in time, simply not following your father’s will, that differed so much from your own, being rebellious like you never had been in your life. And you actually wouldn’t mind getting to know that stranger, in whose house you had been invited, better as he seemed to be a really sweet and kind guy. You were curious hence why you asked: „Why? Would you give me shelter for as long as you need to get my car going again?“ He looked at you rather surprised, obviously not having thought that you even considered it but with an irresistible smile he answered: „Absolutely, if you want to stay here until your car is repaired, you are my guest.“
„Well in that case, I’m gratefully accepting that kind offer once again.“ Roman chuckled as he wanted to know: „What about that really important business meeting tomorrow?“
„Screw that. Since my brother thinks that I’m a failure nevertheless, I’m pretty sure that he’s just waiting for me to mess up, so he can improve his status. I’m just making it easy for him.“, you winked at Roman, causing him to laugh out loud. „Your brother sounds like a complete jackass.“
„That’s actually way too polite for him.“, you laughed as well, talking with him for quite some additional time before you decided to call it a day, heading for his sister’s room in order to get some sleep. The next day started with nothing else than a huge dispute, that you had already expected, the moment you called your father in order to let him know, that you wouldn’t return for a week at least. He was screaming around, giving you the feeling as if you were a little girl and demanding to know whether you had no sense of responsibility at all since you obviously willingly put a major law suit at stake by not showing up. When you told him about your broke car, he demanded to know where you were, so someone could pick you up but you firmly declined, ending the call right afterwards. You were sure that he was fuming and you couldn’t care less as it felt way too good to not do what he was expecting from you constantly.  „Is he out to murder you already?“, Roman asked amused as he was handing you a cup of coffee, that you thankfully took, taking a sip and replying just as amused as he was: „Probably. Let’s just hope that he hadn’t tracked down my location.“
"I wouldn't worry about that. The middle of nowhere can't be tracked.", he winked, causing you to laugh even harder. Since you hadn't to do anything now, you decided to accompany Roman during his work at the garage. Not that you could have done a lot there, but you could keep him company at least, making those hours more enjoyable during which no customer showed up by telling him random stories from your childhood and listening to his as well. And somewhere in between he had been making a few calls to have your engine delivered, but no matter where he had asked to order it, the fastest it could get delivered was two weeks. You could tell that he was sorry, that he hadn't better news for you but if you were honest to yourself, you didn't mind. Staying for a week longer didn't sound too bad to you since you actually really liked his company. The more time and days passed by, the both of you noticed, that you had quite a lot in common despite your complete different upbringing. You shared the same taste in music, you were entertained by a lot of the same things, you were in agreement to a lot of political views just like you agreed on a lot of things with regard to the morality compass. You had the feeling as if you found that one friend in him, that you had wished for throughout your life, but haven't had until now. And you were absolutely grateful, that he didn't see a spoiled rich girl in you, but the sweet person you really were, the one, that despised the arrogance your family was going through life with. And you had to admit that you liked this way of life you were living now.
You would have never imagined that you could survive outside of the city as you liked having everything in close reach, but staying here on the countryside now gave you a feeling of peace. Everything was at ease, the hectic of the city was not present and you loved the fact, that you didn't have to sugar coat clients and possible business partners but that you could work with your own hands. Since Roman didn't want to take money from you for giving you a place to stay and since you were not willing to accept this gratitude without showing yourself grateful, you had decided to help him at the gas station and the garage. And although there was not much that you could do, you nevertheless enjoyed the feeling of falling into your bed exhausted, knowing that you had achieved something with your hands, that was not only due to hard negotiations. If someone asked you whether you wanted to trade this life for yours, you would have probably said yes. But like all good things this one had to come to an end as well.
Just as he had estimated, it took Roman two weeks to repair your car, two weeks where your enraged father and brother almost tried to call you daily with you ignoring each of their calls. You were an adult after all and therefore were not obliged to answer to them. Besides that, you were sick and tired of living your life the way they wanted you to. When you threw your suitcase in the trunk of your car that day, you felt untypical melancholic, not feeling like leaving at all. But you knew that you had to, knowing that you have found a great friend within those two weeks. "Promise me to give me a call once you have reached your home, will you? I just want to make sure that your family hasn't lynched you in the meantime.", Roman smirked at you as he pulled you in a close hug with your returning it right away, laughing out loud as you replied: "Yeah I will. Maybe I should go into hiding for a bit."
"Or you just call me if you need any help."
"That sounds like an even better plan", you winked at him before you said your goodbye, driving back into your old life, already missing what you had left behind.
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, yeah
*Three years ago*
"Say that again. And you better add this time that you were just joking.", your father yelled at you with your brother next to him, being just as pissed as he was. You shot them a deadly look, wanting to kill them as you hissed: "Could you turn the volume down? You have heard me quite well."
"I'm not even thinking of turning the volume down.", your father enraged, being even louder than he had been before, adding: "What the hell were you actually thinking?" You had guessed that your family's reaction would be hostile, but you wouldn't have expected it to reach such dimensions.
When you had returned home after your car breaking down in the middle of nowhere two years ago, your father as well as your brother demanded an explanation what you were thinking, all while your mother stayed in the background rather. They wanted to know whether you had no feeling of responsibility, blaming you for almost losing a rather important client and yet you couldn't have cared less. During those two weeks you had lived a life you always wanted, you felt free, you felt satisfied. And that was not only because of the great company Roman turned out to be but also because you didn't have to live the life of others, you didn't have to bow down to a social circle you didn't feel well in, no. You were able to simply be you, to not care about any materialistic stuff, to just live like you wanted to. You stayed in contact with Roman after having returned to your old life and you were beyond happy when he called you a few weeks after, asking you whether you would like to meet him for a coffee since one of the famous garages in your city had called him for help with repairing a rather rare old-timer none of the mechanics of said garage were familiar with. You didn't have to think twice to accept his invitation and just like during those two weeks, you enjoyed every second in his presence, the time passing by incredibly fast.
When he had to leave, you told him that you would visit him the next weekend, offering to help him with the gas station, which he eagerly accepted. From there life kind of went its own way. It started with a sweet kiss before you found yourself in his arms with him making love to you in the sweetest way possible and before you knew it, you were already dating for a little more than one and a half year. It wasn't always easy due to the different lifestyles you were living, not even speaking of the distance that separated you, but somehow you managed it. You wanted to make it official and although Roman's sister, that you loved more than you could have ever loved your own brother, and his friends knew with all of them accepting you right away, it was another level with regard to your family. You wanted to, you really did, but you were persistent as you could have only imagined your family's reaction, letting Roman know about it. It was only his positive thinking, his reassurance that he could deal with them, that convinced you that you could tell your family about your relationship and now… Well, you wished you hadn't done so.
You had invited your family for dinner, your father, your mother as well as your brother and his wife. A mistake, you should have known in advance about. Roman had helped you with the food, had helped you with decorating the dining room and most of all he had helped you with calming your nerves, by telling you: "Baby, it's alright. I'm not expecting them to love me. I just don't want you to be so secretive about it. I know that you're doing it for me, but I can deal with it, I really can." For the occasion he had even jumped in a nice suit, kind of changing his appearance and if it wasn't for his rough palms, that gave away that he was working with his hands, he could have made people believe that he was a doctor, lawyer or a media mogul in one of the most important media conglomerates in the world.
When your family visited you that day, the atmosphere changed. They eyed him curiously, but nevertheless stayed polite in their own cold ways. It was alright as long as you were engaged in general topics and you were already kind of relieved that they seemed to accept the man in your life, that held your heart. That was until your brother wanted to know what university he went to and in what kind of influential company he and his family were working at. You could have heard a needle being dropped when Roman told your family that he had left college after three semesters and that he took over his father's garage and gas station after his death. You could see the change in your family's facial expressions after learning about his job and they certainly were not of the compassionate kind. Your heart almost broke for the man you loved, being confronted now with your family, that obviously though that he wasn't worth anything. Your father demanded, that you would follow him in the hallway, your brother being on your heels while your mother and sister-in-law stayed behind, neither of them saying a word. You had closed the door behind you, although you knew that it had no sense in doing so as your father's enraged voice could have been heard on the street probably.
Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love him
You were listening to his rant as he yelled at you: "What the hell were you thinking, Y/N? When you told me, that you wanted to introduce your boyfriend to me, I expected that you would know your place, that you would have brought someone at home, that was settled in our social circle. And then you have the guts to introduce a mechanic to me? A mechanic?! I don't care if he's a great guy or not, he does not belong by your side. Can you even imagine what our friends and business partners might think when they learn that my daughter, a Harvard alumni and future co-owner of my law firm is dating a filthy mechanic? Have you ever considered what this would mean for our social status?" You had enough by now. You would have been alright with your family insulting you only, but talking Roman down, knowing exactly that he could hear anything from the next room, was more than you could bear. It was probably for the first time in your life, that you found the courage to yell back just like he did: "You know what father? I don't care about your social circle, I don't care about your law firm, I don't care about your money or about your materialistic symbols of wealth. And most of all I don't care anymore about pleasing you, about adjusting to your life, about living your dream. I never wanted this lifestyle, I never wanted to pick friends from your so called social circle, I never wanted to go to Harvard, I never wanted to work in your law firm and I sure as hell never wanted your car, your apartment or your money. You want to be rude to me, want to call me names, want to belittle me, sure go ahead, do that. But I'm not letting you badmouth the man I love, the man, that is so much more than you or my brother could ever be. And I'm not letting you badmouth his family, his upbringing, his life, his job or anything else. With all of your need for materialistic stuff, for your wealth and your reputation, you have never, never in your entire life, bothered to ask me what I wanted. You just assumed, just expected me to live my life according to your dreams, according to your rules, according to your expectations. You didn't give a simple fuck whether I was happy, whether that's what I wanted, no, you just formed me after your idea. Do you want to know one thing? There were only two times in my life when I was happy. Once was when I bought that VW Beetle, that you hated so much, and the other time was when I met Roman and how my life has developed from there. There is one thing, that he had learned from his family, he was taught from an early age despite them not having a full bank account, something that absolutely lacked in our family and that's to be kind to each other, to be grateful and to give back. All you can do is to take, to demand and to toss out the ones, that don't fit your ideas of perfection."
You could see, that he was close to slapping you, something he didn't do but your brother took care of as he smacked you on the cheek, screaming: "How dare you talk to our father like that? How dare you disgrace us with choosing a mechanic as your partner?" Before you could say anything, your father took your brother's side, yelling: "It was more than just clear what you think of us and how ungrateful you are for the life we had been offering you. You don't want to be in my law-firm? Consider yourself fired. You don't care about the apartment, you are living in? You are out of it by the end of the week. You don't care about us and the social circle you belong to? Fine, feel free to be happy with that poor mechanic in there, but don't you dare, to come back crawling in our life, wanting all of this to magically return to you." You didn’t know what you were expecting, but at least you would have thought that they would swallow their pride and somehow accept who you chose to love. But it turned out that your family was even worse than you would have guessed. You took a deep breath before you replied just as loud as they had yelled at you: "As of now it still is my apartment you are standing in. Grab your stuff and get the fuck out of my home. You don't want to see me again, don't want to have me in your life, fine, it's not like I'm begging to have you in mine either. Just get lost for good.“
There were a few moments of deadly silence before your father and your brother called for their wives and with one last slam of the door they left not only your apartment but also your life. You were trembling with shock and anger, the latter one boiling inside of you due to all of the nasty things you had just heard, your anger overwhelming you as you felt tears falling down on your cheek. You didn't want to cry but it was your usual reaction when you were mad. You were not crying due to your family abandoning you, you were crying due to the knowledge that Roman had to listen to their words, had to listen to them thinking that he was worth shit, had to listen to your family not accepting your love, knowing that his own would have accepted you with open arms.
You felt how strong arms embraced you, pulling you closer until your were wrapped in a feeling of security as he was holding you close, mumbling words, that should calm you down although your didn't really understand them. "I'm so sorry, so terribly sorry.", you sobbed again and again, not really having the right words to express how terrible you felt, how much you despised your family for having treated him like they did, for them not being able to accept people, that didn't live the same way of life like they did. "It's okay baby girl, you have warned me beforehand. I can live with them neither liking nor accepting me. But I can't live with seeing you as desperate and heartbroken as you are now. I'm so sorry that I talked you into introducing me to them. If I had known that this would take such a terrible turn I would have never proposed it, I would have never asked you to go that final step. I'm sorry, sorry for destroying your family.", he mumbled, his voice sounding just as heartbroken as you felt.
You needed a moment to process what he had been saying, not being able to believe what you had just heard. You stared at him in shock, his expression full of pain and guilt, shaking your head vehemently. Your family treated him like crap, your family acted as if he was worth less than they were just because he wasn't wealthy, your family didn't accept him although he had been nothing but polite and kind, and now he was the one apologizing for the outcome, apologizing for your family having tossed you out of their life, apologizing for them not accepting who you loved and how you wanted to live? And not only that but he also wanted to take the blame for that? You were crying even harder by now, needing some time until you found your voice again before you said, your voice breaking in between again and again: "Don't tell me that you are serious right now, Ro. My family treats you like dirt and you really want to take blame for that? They are disgusting, they are arrogant and superficial assholes only valuing money and even more money. You are the best thing, that has ever happened to me, so don't you dare to blame yourself for their disgusting behavior, for them being assholes through and through." He whipped away your tears and you could tell, that he was still blaming himself for how this evening had went, for you facing the end of your current financial stability and your previous lifestyle, that had ended so abruptly. "I'm sorry nevertheless.", he whispered, leaning down to give you a soft kiss, that you immediately returned, wrapping your hands around his neck while doing so.
When you broke apart, you gave him a sad smile, whispering: "You know how we have always talked about how much a long distance relationship sucks?" He gave you a little smile himself, answering: "Yeah and I'm still of that opinion."
"Well given that I was basically thrown out of my apartment, do you mind if you give me shelter once again? I'm even happy with the basement."
"Are you serious? I mean I will give you all the shelter, that you ask for, and I would love you living with me, but... I mean, it's not the big city, you know that."
"It's the place I prefer most in this world. And I would live anywhere, even if it was a small cottage with no-one around, with no running water or electricity, as long as you would be by my side." You could tell how touched he was by your words, searching for the right ones himself. You were gently touching his scruffy cheek, your fingertips trailing along his jawline. „I love you so much, I don’t even have enough words to describe it.“, he whispered, placing a soft kiss on your forehead with you whispering just as softly: „I love you too, Ro, more than anything else in this world.“
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be?
With no one to share
With no one who truly cares for me
*One year ago*
„You can’t do this. We can’t do this. We just can’t go on like that.“, Roman grunted as he sat down on the couch at home while you were leaning against the doorframe, your arms crossed in front of your chest, as you didn’t want to believe your ears. „You can’t be serious, Ro.“, you answered, being shocked by the disbelief in your voice.
After your father had told you to leave not only your home but also your family, you had moved in with Roman two years ago and you had loved every single second ever since. Of course, it had been a massive change when taking your former life into consideration, but it was a change for the best. You were living the life now, that you always wanted to live. You didn’t need money, didn’t need materialistic things, wealth, a high society profile, an influential reputation or a reputable job to be happy. All you wanted, all you needed was a person you felt comfortable with, a person, that accepted you like you were, a person, that loved you. And you had found that. All, that counted for you, was being by his side and you couldn’t have asked for anything else. You absolutely adored living where you were now, you loved the friends you had found, you loved Roman’s sister like your own, the one you never had, and you enjoyed learning to fix and service cars bit by bit. This job maybe wasn’t exactly what you had dreamed about in the beginning, but it meant a lot to you returning home at the end of the day and knowing that you had done work with your own hands. Putting all of the happiness you were feeling aside, however, the both of you had your ups and downs, more ups of course than downs, but they were there nevertheless. You loved each other deeply and you didn’t get tired of showing and proving it to each other, but sometimes Roman doubted himself.
And within the last few weeks, basically during that time where you had mentioned that you wouldn’t mind becoming his wife after he had asked you jokingly whether you would say yes, he had changed. You were discussing the same topic again and again, always with the same outcome, but no matter how often you told him, it seemed as if he didn’t want to listen. Just like he didn’t want to that evening, that basically marked the biggest argument you had until now. You were not willing to accept that, were not willing to agree with him as you knew how stupid that was.
As you were waiting for his answer, you watched him as he was taking a deep breath, his voice not only frustrated but desperate at the same time: „I’m serious, baby, more than serious. I can’t give you what you deserve. You deserve the life you had lived before you met me. I love you, you are the best thing, that had ever happened to me, but I’m aware that I can’t ask this of you. I can’t ask you to become my wife, I can’t doom you to continue living here, can’t make you stay here and work in a gas station and a garage. That’s not the life, that you’re used to, that you should live. And I can’t give you another one, I just can’t. You deserve so much more than this here. Your father was right, when he told you that a poor mechanic is nothing for you. You should have listened to him. You could be married to a guy by now, that could grant your every wish, that you could go to the fanciest parties with, that could give you the world. And yet you had been wasting your life with me for the past couple of years, in a town, that is not good enough for you, in a house, that’s not good enough for you, with a guy, that is not good enough for you. I should be able to give you the world and yet I’m not able to give you even the tiniest bit of it. You deserve so much better, baby, so much better than I could ever give you. Your father and your brother were right. I never wanted to accept it and yet, they were right. I…“
Before he could continue, you stopped him right there and then. „Shut it, Ro, just shut it for fuck’s sake.“, you groaned as you left your position and moved into the room, closer to where he was sitting. As you were standing in front of him, you demanded: „Look at me.“, only continuing as soon as you had his full attention while his eyes rested on you: „I have no idea what’s wrong with you recently. If it is because of that wedding joke you cracked and my answer just tell me. I don’t force you to marry me, I don’t need you to do if you don’t feel like that. But stop it, for fuck’s sake, stop what you had just said and don’t you dare to repeat that ever again. Every since I had met you my life basically began. This right here, this small town, this house, you by my side, this is all that matters, all that counts, all I need to be happy. I had wealth, I had money, I had a high paid job and a social circle I was part of and I hated all of that. I have never felt so lonely like I did during my childhood, my youth and part of my adult life, where I had to live for the expectations of others rather than getting the chance to do what I want in order to be happy. I have found all of this now and I have found all of this because of you. You are all I ever needed. I don’t need shiny things, I don’t need money, I don’t need any of that stuff. All I need, all I want is you. And I have no idea how I should convince you, how I should make it clear to you that I’m not missing anything of my former life. I left all of that behind and feel like I’m living for the first time ever. I don’t need a man, that has a high paid job, a great reputation or a circle of friends, that’s full of arrogant snobs like my brother. I need a man, that I feel comfortable with, a man, that loves me to the moon and back, a man I can always count on and a man, that’s funny, smart, humble and has a heart of gold. And that man is you, Roman, whether you want to believe it or not. So please, for the love of god, stop trying to talk me into a life, that I don’t want to, as you start acting like my father and my brother did although they had way less noble motives. I am happy with what I have and I don’t need a single other thing. I got you and that is enough. You are my world and that won’t change just because you keep telling yourself that. If you want me gone out of your life because you don’t love me anymore it would shatter my world, but I would learn to deal with it. But then be at least honest with me. You talking yourself down, belittling yourself and telling me what you think would be best for me, has to stop. I can make that decision for myself and I have made that decision a long time ago. Four years ago to be more precise, that moment I met you and decided to stay in your home for the first time.“
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you, baby
If I ain't got you, baby
„How can you even think that I don’t love you? You’re holding my heart in your hands, you are the love of my life, you are my world, baby. I love you more than my own life and because I love you so much, I don’t want you to live a poor life as you deserve the world.“
„Have you even listened to me? I don’t give a fuck. I don’t need to live the life of the rich and famous. I want a normal life and this right here is closest to heaven like it could be for me. So stop it already.“, You had lost your calm by now, screaming at Roman although you had tried not to. But right now he just drove you mad. How could one guy be so damn stubborn? Didn’t he want to understand that he was your life and that he was all you needed to be happy? And you would be as long as you were by his side no matter where or how you two had to live? Did you first have to slap some sense into him until he would finally stop it? You leaned down to your boyfriend, your voice strangely distant as you yelled: „If you want me out of your life, just say it. But don’t give me this bullshit again and again.“ You felt how you were tearing up again, scolding yourself to not cry this time, not give in now. Roman held your gaze, not saying a single word, just deciding on his next move. You had enough, you couldn’t take that tensed silence any longer, needed to get out of the room.
Before you could move, however, Roman was reaching out to you, pulling you down on his lap until you fully sat down, one leg on each side of his thighs, not being able to move since his hands rested on your hips, holding you in position. „Let go of me.“, you hissed, trying to push him away, your hands on his chest, with him not moving just a bit. You watched him shake his head, his lips crashing on yours seconds after, his tongue begging for entrance. You knew that you couldn’t resist him, no matter how mad you were. Therefore you found yourself returning his kiss with the same passion he showed to you. Breaking apart after a little eternity the both of you were grasping for air. As you had calmed down Roman placed his index finger on your lips to silence you, knowing you quite well, knowing that you wanted to know what he thought he was doing. You heard his deep voice soothing you, embracing you, when he mumbled: „I’m sorry baby, for all of that. I don’t want to tell you how to live your life. I just… I don’t know. Sometimes I feel that I’m not good enough for you. I know that you don’t think so. But knowing that I can’t give you all of those things I would love to give to you had the worst of me. I… I’m just so scared that you realize in the long run that you had made the wrong decision when staying with me, that you would have been able to do better. I trust you, I really do. And I know that you are honest with me. But there is that tiny voice, and it unfortunately sounds a lot like your father, that keeps telling me that I’m not good enough for you, that I can never be good enough for you.“
You gently touched his cheek, stroking away the tears that were falling down on them, whispering: „And if you listen closely, there should be your father’s voice as well, babe. And he probably is telling you that you are enough in every single way, that you are everything a woman could ask for in a boyfriend, a fiancee, a husband. I love you and I never want to hear anything of that again.“ You had no idea whether you had convinced him, whether you had covered that topic for good. But you learned so shortly after when he pulled out a beautiful ring, asking you: „So you would really stay by my side and live that life here with me? You would really do me the honor of becoming my wife?“ You couldn’t help but smile widely from ear to ear as you whispered: „I absolutely would.“ With that Roman put the ring on your finger, kissing you passionately once again, finally believing you that it was him and him only that you needed in your life.
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, you, you
*Now*
„Babe, I don’t have time. I need to get ready. Even if our wedding is small, I need to get dressed. I can’t marry you in my pajamas.“, you laughed out loud, while Roman was covering your eyes with his hands, directing you outside of the house, not telling you where he would lead you to. „You have more than enough time, baby. It’s just a little surprise I want to give you beforehand.“, he chuckled, making you move while you completely trusted him. After that incident shortly before your engagement you were grateful that such a scene had never occurred again. And now… well now there were only a few hours left until you would marry the love of your life. Did it hurt that your family wasn��t there? Of course it did since you had hoped that they would change, had hoped that they could put their materialistic driven thoughts beside and accept you and your love the way they were. But you obviously had hoped wrong. You were sad, but you didn’t dare to show it, didn’t want to give Roman the feeling, that he would push you into a life you didn’t want to live. You just wished, that your family was more tolerant, that was all. You pushed away those thoughts, didn’t want to ruin the most beautiful day in your life with those depressing thoughts. Before you could spiral down deeper, you heard Roman say: „Here we are. Are you ready?“
„I have no idea for what, but I think so, yes.“, you laughed, blinking a few times after Roman put his hands down. „I hope that you like it, baby girl.“ You couldn’t believe your eyes as you were staring at the object in front of you. „How?“, was all you could ask when Roman hugged you from behind, whispering in your ear: „I loved that story you told me about how you got it and hated the sadness in your voice when you told me what had happened. It took me some time to call all of the possible junk yards but eventually I found the right one and I got extremely lucky when they still had it there. So I picked it up, brought it here and repaired it. It’s as good as new.“ You still couldn’t believe your eyes when you whispered: „But Ro. I had told you that story five years ago when I first met you. That means, that you have organized that all of those years ago. Why? You didn’t even know whether you would see me again.“
„Well I had hoped that I would. And if I hadn’t I would have kept it for myself as it would have reminded me of you and how happy I was the moment I met you. And after we started dating and everything developed in that beautiful way it did, I just waited for the perfect occasion to give it to you and here we are.“ You wouldn’t have thought, that you would see your beloved VW Beetle, the car you worked for and paid with your own money, the car your father hated and you defended with everything you got, that you would ever see it again. And yet it was standing in front of you now, having been completely restored by the man you loved, the man, that was only a stranger back when you told your story, the man, that listened and wanted to give you back what you had missed ever since, the man, that would be your husband in a few hours, the man, that was your life. You were almost overwhelmed by your feelings as you turned around in his arms, hugging him tightly before you pulled his head down, giving him a soft kiss, whispering: „I don’t know what to say and I certainly don’t have enough words for that. Thank you so much babe, you have no idea how much that means to me and how moved and happy I am right now.“
„You’re very welcome, sweetheart. I’m glad that you like it. And… well actually I have another surprise for you as well.“, he let you know. „Another surprise? Babe, the VW Beetle is the greatest thing you could have surprised me with. What else could you give me?“
„Something you probably value even more. At least if you are honest to yourself and give it some time.“ You must have looked at him in pure confusion, causing him to chuckle as he whispered: „Turn around.“ You did what he had told you, not believing your eyes once again as you saw the persons standing there, that had tossed you out of their lives three years ago. You could tell that they had no idea how to act, that your father & mother as well as your brother and your sister in law were embarrassed seeing you again. Not due to the setting but due to their initial behavior.
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you, baby
If I ain't got you, baby
„What are you doing here?“, you wanted to know, not sure whether your voice sounded hostile or relieved. It took them some moments to find the right words for an answer and it was your father finally coming up with a reply. His voice was collected but full of emotions and unshed tears as he explained: „I’m so sorry, sweetheart, we all are, for how we have treated you, the both of you to be more precise. We were completely blinded by our attitude, by our false assumptions and our prejudices, our craving for money, that we actually lost track of what was important. Roman had visited us, telling us about your upcoming wedding and informing us how you were living your life, how happy you were and how much you nevertheless still suffered due to us having acted like we did. And I can’t tell you how sorry we are. We know, I know, that I have been as disgusting as I could be, that I was so blinded in wanting the best for you, that I didn’t even care that the best according to my definition wasn’t the best according to yours. I know now, that you have found the kindest man out there and I’m sorry that I haven’t realized that back then. I always wanted you to be happy, princess, and I was disgusted by myself after having said all of those terrible things to you, after having sent you away, but it was too late then and I was way too ashamed to find a way out of this misery, to ask you for forgiveness, to beg you to come back into our lives. We love you and we want you to be happy no matter what, even if you probably don’t believe us now. When Roman visited us, he told us that it would mean a lot to you if we would be here and if we would accept the way you chose your life and that’s what we want to do if you let us. We miss you.“
„Why? Why have you been so terrible in the first place? Why did you feel like money and wealth was worth more than anything else. Why didn’t you love me when I was a kid and a teenager?“ You just needed to know. You were absolutely emotional seeing them again, not being able to put your emotions into words. You had no idea how much it had taken from Roman to head to your family, knowing that they thought that he was dirt and yet he did so, talking to them, knowing you way too well than to believe you that you weren’t missing them one bit, when in reality you prayed that they would become more humble people, that they would apologize for their behavior, holding out a hand for you to reach, giving you the option to welcome them back with open arms. You had no idea how he must have felt and nevertheless was willing to go through since he loved you so much and just wanted you to be happy no matter what. With regard to your family your emotions were completely mixed. On the one hand you were happy to see them again, on the other hand you hadn’t forgotten about anything that had happened, haven’t forgotten about how they had treated you and the man you loved. You just needed to know. This time it was your mother answering: „We love you sweetheart and we have always done so. We know that he had a terrible way of showing that but…“
„We have messed up, plain and simple.“, your father added, continuing shortly after: „I have never told you about my past and now I watch history repeating itself.“
„What do you mean?“
„I was not always the man, that I am now. And it was only five years ago that I realized that I turned into what I had despised the most. I didn’t grow up wealthy, didn’t grow up in the circle I found myself in later. My parents were living a normal life, not too rich, not too poor, but we were lucky with what we had. My father worked as a janitor in your grandfather’s company. I used to help him on a regular basis, meeting your mother there one day. It didn’t take long until we fell in love with your grandfather not accepting me as I was not good enough for your mother. And just like you, she didn’t want to listen. We had to overcome a lot of obstacles, I was working a lot of night shifts to finance my law study and it was a bumpy ride until I had the chance to open up my own law firm with my parents supporting me. Only with the clients increasing and the money coming in did your grandfather start to accept me no matter what my social background was. That’s when I swore myself, that I want my kids to be in a better position, that I want them to have no matter what they asked for, that I want them to not have the feeling of not possessing enough, of not being accepted. I got absolutely blinded by that thought and before I realized it I had become just like your mother’s father, the man I actually couldn’t stand back then, the man I never wanted to be. I lost track of what was important in life, denying my own past, my own roots. I always wanted to be a father, that accepts and supports his kids no matter what life they wanted to live, but I got completely lost along the way. And I’m so sorry for that. Roman reminded me way too much of myself, brought back all of those fears I had when I was his age. It was like experiencing all of that again and I just snapped. I have acted in the worst way possible and I’m so sorry for that, Y/N. But now I’m here to ask you for forgiveness, I’m here to ask you for a second chance to do things right, to welcome me… us… back into your life. As a wise man not too long ago told me, that it doesn’t matter what your background or your lifestyle is, since the only thing that’s important is being kind to each other. A wise man, you happen to marry in a few hours and it would be our honor if you wanted to have us there with you on that special day.“
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, yeah
You felt how your tears were streaming down your face. Of course, you couldn’t just forget and forgive what they had done to you and how they had treated the man you loved, but you were moved. Not only by their words as you would have never expected them to admit how they did you wrong, how nasty their views on their way of life was, but even more so because you could only imagine how hard it must have been for Roman to make that step, to visit those people, that had decided that he was not good enough for you and that had tossed you out of their middle due to that and yet he went there as he knew you better than anyone else, knew that no matter what had happened it pained you, that they wouldn’t be there, pained you, that they hadn’t searched for your forgiveness, pained you, that they had not been able to accept your love. And yet he went to them, talked sense into them and managed that they would ask for your forgiveness, all because his family told him to be humble and kind, told him that the most important thing in life was being there for each other and loving each other, no matter how different your background might have been.
You nodded your head as you said, your voice heavy with emotion: „I would love to.“ With that you headed over to your family, knowing that it would be a long way until you would be able to forgive them, but right now, you were happy that they had taken the responsibility for their wrong behavior and that was more than you could have ever imagined from them. As they hugged you one after another, they told you how sorry they were once again and how much you meant to them, giving you some time to process right afterwards as they left you and Roman alone. You were walking back to him, wrapping your hands around his neck once you had reached him and whispered: „Thank you so much babe. I can’t even express how much this means to me.“
„No need to.“, he said, whipping away your tears before he gave you a gentle kiss. When you broke apart he added: „Not having a family can be cruel. I know, that they had treated you so terribly but they are really sorry. And I promised you, that I would make you happy no matter what. I’m intending to keep that promise.“
„I love you so much.“, you said moved with Roman replying: „I love you more.“
If I ain't got you with me, baby
Said nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me, baby
You couldn’t believe, that you had found the man of your dreams due to a car you hated breaking down. And yet there you were marrying him in just a couple of hours. Life couldn’t have been better for you and you couldn’t wait to see what the future held for you in that small town, living in your husband’s parental home, that completely belonged to you after his sister had moved into the city, helping him with his work in the garage and gas station and raising your kid, that you already carried under your heart without Roman knowing it yet. But right there and then you promised that it would grow up the same way its father did, valuing the little things in life, staying humble and kind and helping people, that needed help like Roman always did. Yes, you finally had found the life you had dreamed of ever since you were a little kid and you couldn’t have been more grateful for that than you already were.
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gildingtheliily · 3 years
Text
7-10-21
Look who decided to open up her tumblr again..this bitch. We’ll see what happens with posting this on the internet for others to read if anyone’s out there. When you think about it the world is such a vast fucking place how the hell am i so concerned about what I’m eating for breakfast or who sees what im wearing today. Thats so bizarre to me. 
Anyways let me tell you a little bit about myself. I’m A, for anonymous of course. Also it’s the initial of my middle name to really keep it cool. I’m 23, very tall, and fat, woman. Well am i woman? I mean technically yes i am by birth but nowadays i cant tell if my hate for my boobs stems from my weight or because theyre in the way and i dont feel desired with them. I live in a reaaallllyyyy weird state of perception. Beauty standards speaking i have a perfect sloped small nose, my eyes are a perfect distance from each other, i have a perfect eyebrow shape, i was born with naturally long eyelashes, and pretty full lips. my flaw is my weight and my small teeth. seriously they look like 2nd graders teeth in a grown ups mouth. my weight is proportioned just in my lower stomach which makes it look like im carrying triplets. all the time. i cant sleep comfortably, i cant eat in public without feeling peoples eyes on me. its a very real stereotype thin people thrust on fat people. the shame ihave from being fat and feeling attractive constantly runs on my mind at all times of the day. even sleeping, i think about how people stare. my dilema is...men think im pretty but im just a little too fat to be acceptable on someones arm. thats why ive shut myself out from anyone in a physical sexual or romantic experience. theyd never show me off only in the private eye and feel like im being used never shown. 
where was i? oh yeah about me. my parents got divorced when i was merely 4 or 5 and they co parented me. one who was a pushover and the other who was a warden to me. having that dynamic in two seperate households and never a balance ofit surely did a number on me. i am just another person with daddy issues but who doesnt? yeah i was happy as a kid when my dad was making remakrs on how much i ate, what i ate, how my clothes fit, instead of letting me live my life and lead by example. he worried about his weight constantly stil lto this day and hes a skinny old me who looks terrible. he was fat when i was young and worked for years on losing it and once he lost it he acted like this know it all who was god when it came to food and diet. now when it comes to my mom she gave me everything i couldve ever wanted. neglected me at some points focused on work. let me go a week without showering, not eating till afternoon, and didnt get out of bed most of the time in high school. she let me waste away and didnt hold me to any stanard which now makes me ahve to work harder to follow daily habits like showering or washing my face, brushing my teeth. those are still things daily i have a hard time keeping up with. im 23 and thats seriously fucked up right? im not crazy im seriously under developed for the age i am and where my prioroties lie in my life. 
i guess the reason im writing all this out is to acknowledge my current state and see where i can read, talks i can listen to, people i can meet to get better. theres information out there all i need to do is go out there and find it. but right now i will continue to sit in this ac on this summer day and appreciate the freeloading im getting from living at home. - A
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monkberry · 4 years
Text
who am i to fall in love, when your love never is for me?
it will be the first time i’ll be scribbling and posting without any alterations, any revisits to the text. so any one of you, my 4 and a half readers, should bear with me for the next 2 minutes or something. i dont intend to keep it long but hey, i dunno anything nowadays.
i have been staring into the distance a lot lately. i just phase out. i mean i do not phase out fully. its more like trying to focus the lens kilometres away. it drains the battery pretty quickly. and the machinery is out of my hands, i do not even handle the focus anymore. but in the process, i cannot focus on work, on my music. i cannot function more than 10 minutes focused on something which will do any good. 
i hate the way i feel. it is not a shocking newfound thing for me to hate the way i feel. for instance, i do not trust anyone. long ago i decided to trod this path without any shoulder. no borrowed hiking shoes, no map from anyone, no direction but the wind. but i hated it. i hated it yet i knew that it was the way to be. the best route is the route you know. i know myself enough not to need any outside assistance. so even though i hated this route plan, life did not leave me any other choice but to just headbutt the fuck out of obstacles with my devilish horns.
now i hate the fact that i feel a traction. the gravity of a person. i fucking hate it. i hate the fact that i cant spend a friction of a second without imagining her face; the fact that she takes the role of a mole, which i keep whacking to naught; the fact that i cannot jerk off to standard, disgusting porn, or just cannot blankly relieve myself, so to speak. i hate that she just barged in my brain. its not heart. thats just bullshit. she just impounded the control panel. just like that. barged in and said “now we occupy this tiny space together.” i fucking hate that. i hate her for that.
“the way i learnt to love things is to choke them to death.” maybe this time it will work. cos i really want to choke her to death in my mind. i wanna lobotomise her out of my mind. look at her and feel nothing. if i apply ice cubes on her, will it numb me enough? fucking hell, she’s a force to reckon, possibly she’d melt them in an instant.
lemme tell you about her a bit. she’s around 5′4′’ tall, handcrafted figure, beautiful face, an artist, an architect, only child, happily in a relationship with a guy whose career plan is to become the president. yeah last part is real by the way. these are the superficial, one glance information. what galls me goes beyond these. for instance, how comfortably she can see through me. fucking x-ray vision im talking about. she’s the only person who genuinely made me laugh in about fucking ages, so she’s pretty funny. her kindness stretches out of my vocab; so much so that i feel bad for her. she’s clever and quick on her feet, something i admire pretty much on anyone as a twat with the intelligence of a lettuce.
she is so familiar. i couldve sworn ive met her thousands of times before these two months in which we met for the first time. and the feeling is mutual. it felt like we just picked it up somewhere we left it and forgot. she fits me like frozen pitch fits the thermos flask, right alex? we even entertained the idea of being soulmates, two parts of the apple the god split in two, all that jazz, until we decided that thats just plain stupid. with the comfort of familiarity, she just kept knocking wall after wall, statue after statue, like the fucking godzilla herself. do i believe in something? too bad. that belief better go fucking hide perfectly, she’s coming for you pal. 
all in all, she’s special, and this is terrifying.
cos here i am, 5 am, in the dark, sneaking a cheeky beer, mumbling to a blank white pop up page in the middle of my screen, words which will not most possibly be read even by 4 and a half readers i’ve got. but i had to do it. it was either this or singing this at the top of my lungs at the top of a mountain but we are quarantined so...
and there she is. wherever she is. she belongs to someone else. fuck me he knows how valuable he is. guys are generally a bit retarded when it comes to recognising what they possess. but this CUNT knows. fucktard. first appointed president of my arse cheeks. i hate this too. jealousy. so petty.
i will probably never be hers. she will probably never hold my hand, look me in the eyes, give me a peck on the lips and say “im glad you’re here. im glad you endured what you had to endure”. so i should stop myself wanting to be there. come to my senses. get my shit together. prop up the statues back again. mend the walls.
i’d welcome a bullet right about now.
i guess i kept it long. i really dunno anything nowadays. such fuckery...
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memedokies · 7 years
Text
(almost) every anon ask since fall 2016
if u havent noticed i am BAD at answering asks so here’s a Big Dump of most of the asks i’ve gotten in the past few months
ps; i’ve excluded pokemon suggestions bc i plan on getting to them at some point
Hihihi!!! What brushes do you use in fire alpaca??  i dont do much in firealpaca (esp not lately lol) but when i did use it a lot i just used the fill bucket and the standard/default brush to fill in gaps n such lol! i dont really draw in it, i used flash/adobe animate for the lineart and just fill in color in firealpaca :3
when did you start animating?   uhh when i was around 11 or 12 when i started digital art i guess? i just used photoshop for the longest time then got flash when i was like 15 or so
 How did you get flash?  i got the creative cloud dealie, its technically required for my school :—-0 
 hello!! what are you majoring in in vcu?? im thinking about going there for college  im in communication arts! omg cool lmk if u come here ill tell u where to get the best bubble tea
 how many fps do you use for your wiggly animations? i work at 24 fps in flash on twos but just end up using photoshop’s 0 second frame delay/ “no delay”?
 Hey love your animations! What do you animate with?  adobe animate 2017! (previously flash) 
You mentioned a YouTube channel but I can’t seem to find a link to it? Do you post processes on there? https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCovvoZxlQjFaIA7A3w_94Zw theres not much atm but i plan on posting a lot more, including process/speedpaints! 
i really like your art style gosh darn!!! everythings so fluid and stylized and nice aaa (also ur animations are goals) do u have any tips for someone still developing their artstyle????  WAH TYSM!!!!! compile art you already like and incorporate aspects from their styles into yours, BUT dont limit urself to one style! if u like something then try it out! do straight up copies (as PRACTICE, DONT CLAIM IT as your own ofc) of stuff you like to see how they work and what you’re clicking with. spending time on fundamentals is MEGA helpful so keep going back to that too! USE REFERENCES!!! draw …from ur soul…what makes u ..FEEL good
 how do you make that burn effect on your lineart? it makes it your pieces look sharper and even more interesting, it’s super cool!!  when i used to use flash for lineart and firealpaca for coloring a lot, setting the lineart layer on BURN with the coloring layer seeping a lil past the lineart would get this effect automatically 
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(like on the whiskers. u can see it gets a brighter brown(?) and the warmer yellow on the ears)
but since then i’ve been using sai+photoshop more so i just do it manually! i’ll use this funny pic of me and my cat as an example lol
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^i select the lineart/everything i want the funky color around
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^slam that INCREMENT button a couple times
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^make a new layer under the lineart
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^fill that puppo with ur preferred color! something brighter works best, or even straight up white
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that’ll give you something like this
then i open it in photoshop
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and i mess with the pink line layer’s blending mode..color burn usually does the trick but depending on the Look you’re going for, saturation, multiply and overlay have some similar effects that look cool. 
i also usually get rid of the outermost edge of pink line that’s visible around the lineart, just so it looks a little cleaner? to do that you just select around your lineart, increment/expand selection, and delete/erase in the selection of the pink line layer
uhh yeah! lmk if anyone needs clarification on this, i have some other #TIPS on makin ur art look crusty and funky so…lemme know if you’re interested :—3
What do you use to animate? And, a more specific question, how do you make transparent animated gifs? adobe animate 2017! (previously flash) i export my animation from flash as a png sequence then open it in photoshop, where the background will be transparent and save it as a gif from there nyaaa
if anyone needs more clarification lmk and i’ll make a proper walkthrough :-0
 Hello!! Ur art is rlly pretty and so inspirational and nice to look at!! 💗💗 I was wonderin’ if ya had any tips on choosing shapes for characters? Like, when you draw shapes for a certain character, it looks rlly like it fits with the character’s personality n stuff!! ( e.g: Your Love Live! drawings!! The characters look so good in your style.) I’ve always admired how u did that n was hoping for some tips maybe?? Anyways, have a good day!!💛💖💟💜💝💞💖 HOOGA!! TYSM!!! and YEA you basically guessed it, i mainly just think about the character’s personality and translate that into a shape or Pheeling… 
especially for anime characters i look at the Very Subtle differences in the character’s original design..or possibly canon implications…for example kotori has slightly different eyes (it also says on her wiki page she has soft droopy eyes!) so i make sure to incorporate that Detãile
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 anime wiki pages that have details like that is nice, for love live they have cute lil “charm points” which is really cool n helpful! listening to how a character is described in their world can give clues to what differentiates them which you can make more clear in your design
taking into account each characters context is good too, what they do/hobby/personality and how that could affect their appearance/posture/attitude
 YEAH its really fun to figure out certain characteristics and make it evident in their appearance! or. idk thats just what i do lol. hopefully this helps!
Have you ever seen the anime jojos bizarre adventure? alas i have not..i have some friends whom are into it so i’ll prob end up watching it sometime lol
sorry if this is obvious but!! are you the creator of Fork and Knife: Food Fighters?? your gif of fork is super cute btw!! yes i am!! wah tysm!!
Hey my little sister found your animation on an online art gallery and she really loved it! omg cool, thanks so much!!
Your style is so lovely!! OHG thanks!
your blog is so precious i love it a lot! your art is so cute too ^u^ waa thanks!!
Your art and animations art really cool! Keep up the good work! You are amazing!! aahg thank you!! :’333
 your art is fuckening amazing hh broe…tysm
 Oh my gee, I used to follow you on Deviant Art, and now here I am, finding you on accident. You’re still as talented as ever. =w= b hUIOpugh deviantart, my homeland..my origin.. thank you!!!
- O mg I love your art! 💕💕💕 thank you!! heart emojis!!! 💖💖💖
- your art and animations give me so much inspiration, thank you! everything about your style is so fun and it cheers me up omg this validates my top tier goal in life, im so glad!! thank you SO much!
Your style is so charming and adorable ;__; thank you!!
ur art is so gross in the best way possible this is the biggest compliment ive gotten thank u so much. i love making gross squishy awful drawings
IM SO HAPPY I FOUND YOU!!!! IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR AGES!!!!!!!!! I LIVE FOR YOUR BEAUTIFUL ART!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! BHOLY CRAP THANK YOU!!!
 your art style is very cute ! 🌱 oohg thanks!! thanks for the little sprout emoji, i love her
GOOD ART!!!! good art good art good art EVERYWHERE I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! OHHGG THANK YUO
how do ya draw such cutely its driving me nuts Nuts NUTS !!! I LOVE SPARKLES AND BRIGHT COLORS AND FUNNY ANIMALS..its my lifeblood..thank u.. 
You’re a really rad artist! I’m Glad there’s some cool artists that are local! Have a good time at VCU! oh wow thanks!! 
Ur shapes r so good thanks i LOVE a nice wholesome shape!
I rlly like ur art style my dude thanks!! 
hi! just wanted to let u know that you’re wonderful and i wish u well in everything u do this is making me bVERY HAPPY THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
 Im love You!! IM L OVE YIOU
that meowth boy is so good. i love him as he is my son THANK YUO i too, love meowth a Lot
 I love how your art is basically lines and curves, it’s very cute oo thanks! 
i love your art style so much!! it’s so zesty? i cant think of a better word to describe but its like. zesty & refreshing & rly rly cool !!! THATS A BEAUTIFUL ADJECTIVE I LOVE IT thank u so much!!!
You seem like you would watch Osomatsu-san. I could see you drawin dem bois in you hella rad art style. osomatsu was the wildest ride of my life. tho i dont think i could physically be able to sit down and draw them seriously ever… 
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 Pls make more angry cat comics theyr so halarious plllls 👀 more are on the way!!!!!!
Have you done a meet the artist i sketched one when the meme was still poppin..is it too late lol? maybe i’ll still do it
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iah207music-blog · 7 years
Text
Discussion Post 3
For this weeks discussion we review over the article presented by http://nevalleynews.org/5971/lifestyles/entertainment/commercializing-sex-in-the-music-industry/
During the discussion we talked about how the trend in commercializing sex in the music industry transferred over to trends in general. As well as the justification in doing so. Below is a copy of the discussion which took place 
Kayla
10:17 PM
So lets come up with some topics to discuss
 Kayla
 10:19 PM
I think we should discuss why or how we think photoshopping came to be such a major part of our society and the ramifications it has had on our generations identities
Jodette Felder
10:20 PM
we can also discuss how these images of women and our portrayals of them reflect our core values and beliefs as a cohesive society
 Kayla
10:22 PM
Alright so lets start
 Tam Chanh Nguyen
10:24 PM
alright what would you like to discuss
Kayla
10:24 PM
Lets start with my point I guess
Tam Chanh Nguyen
10:27 PM
ok
did you post your point?
 Tam Chanh Nguyen
10:29 PM
i dont think your conversation is popping up for me
Jodette Felder
10:29 PM
so i think with photoshopping it changed when our views of beauty or how people should look like changed. right now our society has an extreme view on what "beauty" is defined as so to go with that, we use photoshop to reflect that image. I think the most damaging impact it has had on our generations identities today is that we are constantly comparing ourselves to images that are beyond unrealistic. if we are not looking as perfect as the person who was photoshopped, we don't feel strong with ourselves and our identities
kayla said: "I think we should discuss why or how we think photoshopping came to be such a major part of our society and the ramifications it has had on our generations identities"
Jodette Felder left group chat.
Kayla
10:30 PM
I think it's interesting that back in the Marylin Monroe days, curvy women were all over magazines. They were unphotoshopped but somewhere along the way everything changed. I feel like girls nowadays see only whats on the tv and whats "hot". They want to be like these size 0 models and it has caused so many mental health issues. With all the talent that these singers have, I don't understand why they feel like in order to make it they too have to fit this image
Jodette Felder joined group chat.
Kayla
10:30 PM
here was my discussion topic Tam: I think we should discuss why or how we think photoshopping came to be such a major part of our society and the ramifications it has had on our generations identities
 Tam Chanh Nguyen
10:33 PM
oh I think that photoshop became such a major part of our society because it is a tool used for creating the ideal image or an image close to what society deems as beauty. If you think about it this way its almost like a on the go plastic surgery.All you need is a computer and the program and you're good to go. I think that because everyone does it allows for the perception that its ok to do so.
 Kayla
10:36 PM
This was jodette's point: we can also discuss how these images of women and our portrayals of them reflect our core values and beliefs as a cohesive society
 Chris Powers
10:38 PM
Hey everyone! Sorry, I haven't responded. I was taking an online time test
timed*
Tam Chanh Nguyen
10:39 PM
I think the idea of how the image of women portrays our society is like this where the in different cultures there are different standards of beauty. It reflects values such as paleness as symbolism for purity and being skinny is related to ones healthiness.
Kayla
 10:39 PM
I've always been curious as to how societies ideal image has changed, does one person just start something and it eventually catches on?
 Tam Chanh Nguyen
10:43 PM
I think trends start when someone at least tries to start something and it resonates with someone else and is shared if someone that is a celebrity shares it as well it goes viral due to their popularity.
Chris Powers
10:43 PM
It's interesting to see how trends change with history. Like how being fat was considered a sign of wealth because you could afford lots of food compared to being skinny which meant you were poor
Tam Chanh Nguyen
10:44 PM
could someone post this discussion on tumblr this time im not getting like half the group messages
Kayla
10:47 PM
Yeah this doesn't seem to be the best form of communication
I do like your point Chris, things have changed so dramatically and who knows what things will be like in the future
 Tam Nguyen
10:53 PM
I think the trend right now is actually interesting as we see time progress forward we have things from the past the become trends again.
that*
 Alright so I think that ends the discussion this week have a great weekend everyone.
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