#sensory issues? check

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

im not autistic but i believe in their beliefs (because i share like 80 % of symptoms typical for autistic women with yall)

#overstimulation? check #bursts of anger? check #overwhelmed in social situations and needing a lot of downtime in my safe space? having comfort people? check #seeming ‚weird‘ to other people? check #always feeling like i dont fit in with the girls? check #overly excited over small things? check #sensory issues? check #never knowing when its my turn to talk in conversation? check #people reacting weirdly when i interject in conversations? check #monologueing about my special interests? check #special talent? semi check because i dont think im that good at drawing but i used to get in trouble in school for drawing too much #often say inappropriate/inappropriately frank and honest things unintentionally? check #extremely analytical thinking especially regarding social relationships but unable to make me less weird? check #having been the odd one in my family and school and at work all my life? check #having specific rules how everything has to be done? needing rituals and structure and a controlled environment? check #social anxiety as a result? CHECK #the list goes on… #its the adhd/bpd mix i think #personal

[cedarw00d-the-fourth]

Astarion(ascended) and Gortash are fighting over who's the worst character in my canon

meanwhile Raphael is standing in the background with a metal pipe

#like Astarion was ready to marry off his daughter to a vampire lord #and Gortash locked Lythe in a room full of gondian children #but Raphael tortured Agnezes ever since she made her contract with him when she was...*checks notes* #sixteen years old #and he even had sex with her when she was seventeen #and whipped her because she has severe sensory issues #and even took her horns in one of my endings #sorry i just get a little silly #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 gortash #baldur's gate 3 #enver gortash #astarion ancunin #ascended astarion #raphael bg3 #cedar rambles

[soars22]

This may actually be the worst prank Bad has ever done. This is awful; I hate this. /lh

#qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #I turned the stream on briefly to check in but I had to turn it down again #sensory issues go brrr #it’s kinda brilliant though not gonna lie

[spectrumlife99]

A more personal story about a big struggle of mine...food.

I've talked a little bit about how I hate food before on this blog...but now I think it's time to go in-depth about it...even though I usually HATE talking about it, and I'm really nervous and anxious about making this post, but I'll do my best.

Ever since I was little (like, two years old when I was taken off the baby bottle and had to move to solid foods, which, actually, I have NEVER drank milk since the baby bottle was taken away because it was nasty and I no longer needed it to survive...and I STILL to this day hate milk and find it gross), I have had MAJOR sensory issues with food, causing me to be extremely picky and particular about what I eat. I have issues with the look, smell, taste, texture, etc. I also hate things on my plate touching each other, and as a kid I had to have everything on separate plates/bowls because I wouldn't eat if anything on the plate touched each other. I still hate that to this day though, with a lot of work, I have been able to move past the "everything on separate plates/bowls" thing. I do still try my absolute best to keep everything a good distance from each other though.

I am also very particular about even the same types of food. For example, I only eat certain specific brands of certain specific things, and if the brand is wrong, even if the food itself is the same, I will always notice just by smell alone, and refuse to eat it. If the brand is not the safe brand, I will not eat it. If we don't have a safe food or the right brand of safe food, I will choose to go hungry rather than eat, because it's just too much for me to eat a non-safe food/brand. My diet is extremely limited...I would say that 99% of all foods in this world are way too overwhelming for me, and I know for a fact that I can count the number of foods I will actually eat on my fingers...and everything on that list is bland, except for a couple VERY SPECIFIC flavors of VERY SPECIFIC kinds of candy. It has to be bland because I can't handle anything that's spicy (even if it's only a tiny kick or a pinch of seasoning, it will still feel like my mouth is burning and my stomach will start feeling bad), I can't handle bitter things (bitter things will immediately trigger the gag reflex), and I can't handle sour things (sour things, aside from being overwhelming in taste, make my mouth really irritated and that really hurts), or things that are too sweet (I can handle mild sweetness but if it's anything even the slightest bit over mildly sweet, I can't handle it, it triggers the gag reflex). If I could survive without eating, I would never ever eat a thing because I hate food and eating so much. I usually only eat one meal a day, that being supper, because my family always makes sure to have safe food for me in the house for supper specifically. And if we have takeout or go to a restaurant, we always make sure that the restaurant has one of my safe foods beforehand, otherwise I won't eat.

I have gone multiple days in a row without eating anything, because there was nothing safe around. This was back when I was in my early teens in the psych hospital. I was there because I needed a medication adjustment, they had to take me off everything and put me back on everything again slowly, as well as change some of the meds because I was struggling with severe anger issues and aggression, there wasn't a day that went by without me exploding on someone and physically hurting them or myself back then...so I was in the psych hospital for about a week and a half. The teen ward was like a dorm at a university or something, there was a common area, and two long corridors of rooms, with the girls on one and boys on the other. Now, the food situation there was...less than ideal... especially for someone like me. We had a choice of what we wanted to eat, but to actually GET to choose, we had to wake up at the designated wake-up call time...which was always really hard for me since I am not a morning person and I also had nightmares that woke me up and made me really anxious and panicky basically every night. So, as you can probably guess, I always missed the menu choices, meaning I always ended up with something random. That was not good, because it was almost always something that wasn't a safe food. The worst part of it was, there were multiple days in a row of this, and by the fourth day in a row of me not eating, one of the nurses did the worst thing possible for a person with severe food sensitivities...the nurse force-fed me...and continued to do so everyday after that. It was like torture, and every time after being force-fed by the nurse, I would go right back to my room, head right to the bathroom, and proceed to get rid of it by gagging myself on purpose to make myself throw up. The food sitting in my stomach made me nauseous as it was already so I just had to get it out of there so I could feel better. I never told anyone about it though because during my entire week and a half there it was so traumatic I was basically rendered mute, barely saying a word to anyone. I know that they were just worried about me and wanted to make sure I survived while I was there, but they definitely could've done it less...aggressively...

This wasn't the first time I was force-fed either. As a kid, with my OT, I did a type of feeding therapy called Feeding Team. It was supposed to help me learn to try new foods...but it didn't work. Now, the person who force-fed me there wasn't my usual therapist. My usual therapist never did that, she just sat there with me and reminded me that if I didn't eat the food of the week, I wouldn't be allowed to do all the other stuff...the stuff I liked doing in OT. Multiple weeks just consisted of me just sitting there the whole time because I just wouldn't...COULDN'T eat. But my usual therapist never threatened to force-feed me or anything like that. So how was I force-fed there, then...? Well...it was when my usual therapist wasn't there, and I had a substitute...a couple substitutes weren't the most patient and after it became clear I wasn't going to eat, they would pick up the fork or spoon, gather some of the food on it, and shove it into my mouth. I would immediately go running to the bathroom after that and proceed to, once again, get rid of it all so I didn't feel sick anymore with the food sitting in my stomach like that.

No one, absolutely NO ONE in my family knows that I've been force-fed before. They also don't know about me purposely getting rid of the food I was force-fed every time. I have only told my talk therapist and a best friend of mine who understands what having food sensitivities like this is like...and only brought it up in the first place because I've been thinking about this for a while and having nightmares about the force-feeding where I wake up feeling sick and like I need to get rid of the food I was force-fed in my dream...so it's been really bothering me a lot lately. And I'm one of those people who HATES anything to do with throwing up. If someone around me is sick with a stomach bug or flu and I hear or see it...I freak out and have full-on panic attacks over it, and when I have the stomach bug or flu myself, I try to keep everything from coming out as long as I possibly can.

And food unfortunately is something that can make me really sick and trigger the gag reflex from just the look and smell alone...which is why I always stay away from the kitchen when my family is eating their meals, and waiting until everything they had is all cleaned up and put away before I can finally have my own safe food for supper...I do this pretty much everyday, as it's very VERY rare for my family to have something I can eat alongside them for supper. The only thing that really comes to my mind that I eat with them is pasta...my mom makes it plain and makes the sauce separately because she's allergic to tomatoes and I don't like sauce. I completely cover my plain pasta in the (what I like to call) "cheese salt" type of parmesan cheese because that way it tastes better and it's not greasy. One of my younger brothers (who also has some food sensitivities, but he's not nearly as problematic in my parents' eyes as I am because he eats a lot more things than I do) does the same thing, and we often fight over the parmesan cheese because of it.

I used to have to sit at the table with everyone during holiday meals, which felt like torture, but now I don't have to do that anymore because I just can't do that without feeling sick and losing my appetite at the sight and smell of all holiday food. The only thing I eat on holidays is plain rolls...which is just bread. Everything else is way too much for me. So I wait for everyone to finish and clean up, and then I have a safe food, just like basically every other day.

On Easter yesterday I didn't even eat supper at all because I just wasn't hungry. I have a hard time noticing when I'm hungry or not, so that plays another part in me not wanting to eat, because I don't feel like I need to. I've been put on an appetite stimulator medication because my one meal a day is not enough for my family and support workers and it makes them worry...even though I'm totally fine with one a day but that's just me. It worked for a while, it didn't change anything I actually ATE but it made me feel hunger a bit more...though now it's stopped working and I'm back to one meal a day. I get really tired of my family constantly judging me for being picky, berating me for never eating anything, telling me I'm being difficult, and saying things like, "There are people starving out there, you should be grateful for what you have and eat!" When they say those things, it does not help at all! It instead just makes me really upset because I literally CANNOT HELP IT! I didn't ASK for this, I didn't ASK to have so many food sensitivities...and it drives ME just as crazy as it drives THEM! I wish I could eat more things so they wouldn't get so mad at me all the time but I just CAN'T!

You know how people will expect you to just toughen up and eat what's in front of you...? Yeah...no...that doesn't work for me. If there's nothing I can eat, nothing that's safe, I will not eat a THING until I have a safe food in front of me again, even if it takes multiple days...the longest I've gone without eating was four days. I am so glad my parents don't force-feed me though, like the nurses at the psych hospital or the substitute OT person did...because that means I haven't had to intentionally make myself sick to get rid of the things I was force-fed in about a decade now. I am so afraid to tell my family about those incidents because they have never heard anything about it from anyone at all and I always keep traumatic memories and things that happened to me to myself for years at a time, until I can't take it anymore and I just break from the stress, but I am working on it now with my talk therapist, so I hope I'll be able to say something eventually.

Anyway, I guess what I want to say is, anyone else who's autistic and struggles with food sensitivities, I see you and I feel you. You are not alone. I used to think I was alone in this until I met my best friend who struggles with this stuff too. It was so validating for me to finally have someone who understands what this is like, and I hope my story can help some of you feel not so alone either.

#actually autistic #autism things #food is a sensory nightmare #food is gross #i hate food #i hate talking about this usually #but i wanted to spread the word that this is a real issue people have and it's not because they're choosing to #and hopefully help anyone who has this same problem feel validated and less alone #i see you and feel you #also please don't hit me with the “oh it's an eating disorder” thing...last i checked you're not born with eds #and i have been like this since i was very very little...like two years old little #it's entirely a sensory thing...a really really major sensory thing with multiple components to it #long post #sl99 talks

[steampoweredskeleton]

Every time I need to cut my hair I get super excited bc I know I'll love it and EVERY TIME right after I cut it I fucking hate it and feel so uncomfortable I have to avoid looking at myself for a bit bc I look suddenly different and something about that makes me feel nauseous until like two days later when I'm used to it and love it again

This time is the WORST ITS EVER BEEN

What the fuck is the deal with that bc it really makes getting my hair cut a fucking trial

#delete later #im having a bunch of sensory issues lately and nausea and its driving me insane #i think im probably just super anxious about my trip but its really annoying #i want to bavk out and not go SO BAD but the good thing is that telling ppl at work means if i dont go it'll look weird #so that is pushing me to go. which is good bc i KNOW I'll enjoy it I KNOW THAT its just thr apprehension #and the risk that i wont enjoy it. #i am excited #im also scared #i hate ny brain #on the fun side the testosterone has made my shoulders broader snd face wider and im looking and sounding more masc #also i feel bad bc i didn't ckean up after hair cutting well enough bc i fekt so off balance and bad that i did it quick and then laid down #so i need to ensure i clean before i check how it looks or do SOMETHING differently #truly living is a task and having to problem solve every facet of life makes it fucking exhausting

[thepurplewombat]

I feel really bad for werewolves tbh. Having a keen sense of smell really sucks.

Like, people are like 'oh but you can smell such cool things' and I'm like yeah but as someone in possession of a sensitive nose it's really not all it's cracked up to be.

Becsuse you're having a nice day and suddenly someone comes up to you with a glass of milk and they're like 'hey can you give this a sniff it tastes a bit weird' and you just Know that it's already well past rancid because if they can taste the difference it's BAD.

or someone opens a package of meat to cook for dinner and you have to run for the door yelling DON'T FUCKING EAT THAT because it's gone off and you're the only person who can apparently smell it?

Or your kid brings a friend home and you can't be in the same room as him because he smells like he's been dead two days and nobody else appears to have noticed? And the next day you walk into your living room and you're like 'oh. Oh no I can still smell him' so you have to burn incense because your living room smells like a wildlife enclosure and a mortuary all at once.

Anyway werewolves have it rough is all I'm saying, because I am SUFFERING today.

#Smells #Sensory issues #I have an abnormally keen sense of smell #It's not all it's cracked up to be I swear #Sometimes you get cool things #Like the smell of petrol or paint thinners #But mostly it's 'oh I'm not hungry anymore because the smell of pork cooking makes me feel ill' #And doing sniff checks whenever someone thinks something is sus

[neige-leblanche]

i should be posting this on vent & not here but i mediumkey feel like myself much more when im so sleepless & caffeinated ☹️ the past month or two has been so bleary & disassociative for some reason (think it might have been brain fog from covid exposure) but the way my mind and senses feel now is very familiar & i wish it wasn't comforting :/

#txt #negative #maybe i should check my room for carbon monoxide or sth too idk #maybe the changing of the season as well. my breathing & sensory issues both change drastically the second the air gets cold

[ophidioph0bia]

people lose that mind at posts that arent about them because they're disabled and have been excluded all their lives and never have the option to be included. hope this helps guys

#could probably also apply to other marginalized groups #Guys people freak out at food recipes with food they dont like because us autistics with fucking sensory issues never got to eat at events #because the food was not safe for us #Also this is like. Literally an npd thing. Youre making fun of npd traits. Im going to kill this site #I CHECK MY DASH FOR LIKE TWO SECONDS AFTER DOWNLOADING SIMS CC BRO. AND I IMMEDIATELY GET HIT BY THIS BS...

[leonsleftbicep]

thank you to my little sibling for teaching me its ok to keep a small plush on you when in public

#sensory issues #the duck has thoughts #adhd #possible autism #idk people say i show a lot of signs #just need to get it checked out maybe

[fallenrain40]

why does!!! no website at all!!! talk about the fact that low blood sugar feels like an adrenaline rush sometimes?? actually it does this. pretty often. and cause I likely have adhd, it's kind of hard to tell when i'm just V HYPERACTIVE or going low. becuase I've had times where I'm not low at all and im like shaking and. think i'm going low but im just extreamly hyper. and then i've had times where i feel really hyper and shakey BECUASE i am going low. it doesn't alwayss feel this way but pretty often it does. yet when i look it up? i find nothing? it makes me wonder if diabetics are actually understood well or not cause sometimes hhhh idrk. sometimes it feels like. they don't really care about us tbh.

#like where is that laser that checks my blood sugar for me hmm? #pls hurry up and invent this ty #stabbing my finger gets a bit annoying!! sometimes!! #and it would be nice to yknow. be able to have a cgm that DOESN'T need to be inserted under the skin!! becuase i have sensory issues #with that #i've tried 2 different ones it just #when i wore it i cannot think about anything else but the thing that is attached to my arm #and i was v on edge the whole time #but WITHOUT a cgm i run the risk of going low while i sleep #which is very dangerous #but i've gone without a cgm for years already so guess i'll just keep going #since they wont make a better one #a shot is in and out and it's over quickly #but cgm is in there. all the time. #i can't deal with that #sensory issues #t1 diabetic #t1 diabetes #type 1 diabetic #type 1 diabetes #diabetic #t1d

[wormsdyke]

i’m so mad that i’m still hungry after eating. i just did that!!!! why didn’t it work!!! the physical act of putting the food in my mouth and chewing and swallowing and also processing the sensory experiences is just. so. tiring. and that’s so lame!!! it’s eating food it shouldn’t be hard!!!! and i want to do it!!!! but i’m so god damn tired!!!!!!!

#are a nice size bowl of chicken and rice and yet here i am #so i have to do it again? that’s so hard #i know that in my silly autistic brain i have checked off the task of Eat Dinner and expect a result of Not Hungry #but it’s not an on off switch thing like it’s about the amount i eat #but i can’t drive that into my skull for some reason #it tastes good don’t get me wrong i enjoy eating i enjoy foods #but i really think i’m just in such a sensory avoidant place rn that having to taste things and feel them in my mouth at all is unpleasant #orating! #tw: eating issues #<- idk if that’s a good way to tag this my issues are not at all ED related but i could see this being triggering for someone who does have #those issues so lmk if there’s a better way to tag that

[cthoniccripple]

These bitches right here are peak autistic culture

#autistic #sensory issues #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #actually autistic #autistic feels #autistic culture #they even have a texture checking spot in the packaging #tagless undershirts are god's gift to mankind

[contortionyx]

Want the satisfaction of banging noises but no loud noises what do

#sensory issues #:( #we're doing thanksgiving late since this is the only time all our schedules lined up #and my anxiety has been suuuuuuper high for the past month #high anxiety = low sensory tolerance #i vacuumed for 30 seconds and feel like tearing the walls down with my bare hands #not to mention dad BLARING the tv because he refuses to get his hearing checked for the past 20 years >:(

[dinklebat]

tighnari is the most autism character yet. thank you genshin.

i will die on this hill btw. everytime he talked about his sensitivity in hearing i was like “omg same bestie” and then collei was like “oh he’s kinda blunt lol but he means well he just communicates differently” . i screamed.

#sensory issues? check. special interest? check. inability to understand proper social cues? check. #genshin impact #tighnari #shitpost #actually autistic

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Cannot believe you people have been hiding peaches from me for my whole life

#i went animalistic; the skin gave me sensory issues so i tore it apart with my teeth #the pit was there to keep me in check; literally so tasty i cant believe i havent had these before #hoatm rants

[comas-are-for-sleeping]

my like. official autism screening or whatever said so many times “[redacted] is very willing to learn coping skills” which. i said i was. i was not. lowkey am still not. of the full belief i will figure it out on my own being told how to do things actually just makes it all worse for me

but LMAO like i rlly successfully lied to a therapist

#umm yeah ive told my mom So Many times that i will eventually look at the fuckin. like. dbt or cbt or whatever #knowing full well I Will Not #girl i can barely read you think im gonna read abt bettering myself?? #like reading that back was just skull emojis the whole time #plus also how different my mom and dad’s assessments of me were #like… i knew but i didnt Know Know yknow #so fuckin funny to me #basically: i am a little?? bit more?? convinced perhaps im not autistic #and just. happen to stim and hyperfixate and habe sensory issues #which like tbh v much hyperfixations usually relate to how i see myself?? in a way #so like ig that checks out #also it said i had a strong sense of self which. girl no i do not but ok #rambles #winter stfu