#series: ctdn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

manggojooz · 5 years

Text

Close the Door Now (Part 1): An Epilogue Series to “Take My Hands Now”

pairing: Jungkook x reader

word count: approx. 2,400

genre: romance, fluff

summary: Jungkook gets a taste of jealousy and is insecure about why you like him despite his past

warnings: some making out at the end (??)

Taglist: @competativekook @flamingorosette (i’m just tagging you because it’s technically a related series but if you would like to stop being tagged, do let me know ^^)

Comments: this is the most fluff i have written up to now i think. never expected it to turn out this long but i dunno i dun care, i just felt so happy writing it...

“You could do this a little less reluctantly...”, you grumbled at Jungkook who is looking like he would pay a hundred bucks to not be following you right now.

He used to do this day in day out, you could even call it his natural habitat, although now he knows it wasn't really because he enjoyed it. He just never knew what it was like to enjoy anything and such settings had the facade of 'enjoyment', at least.

“That's because I really couldn't be more reluctant. Can we not just watch a movie? Or go to your place? Your mom makes such good food. Why do we have to be here??”, he gripes like a ten year old being dragged to school.

“Are you for real? It’s Hoseok’s birthday today and you want to skip the party?”, you let go of his hand and crossed your arms at him.

“Yeah about that”, he wiggled his index finger at you, “our friendship goes beyond this, I don’t have to be at the party to celebrate with him. We have our own way of celebrating...”, he narrowed his eyes cheekily.

“Playing Overwatch for three days straight don't count as celebration... OK then...”, you snatched the fancily-wrapped present out of his other hand and turns to walk towards the familiar manor, “... I’ll just go on my own!”

His eyes jumped around, catching up with your swift actions, first from the parcel that left his hand and then to you walking off towards Hoseok’s house.

“Are you kidding me?”, he rolls his eyes and huffs, before giving chase after you.

---

“Hey Jungkook, haven’t seen you around!”, if you didn’t know better, you’d think this guy was chummy with your boyfriend. But you knew better, Jungkook hated his guts, not sure how far that feeling went mutually though.

“Hey Casper”, Jungkook very, very unwillingly acknowledges him.

“It’s Jasper... dude...”, he sounded irritated.

“Oh, Jasper... guess you are less friendly than I remembered you to be”, Jungkook said with a sharp lift of his left brow, and a half-assed smirk.

You forgot how rude Jungkook could actually be since he was always so sweet to you but this is starting to bring back memories. After all, the first time you met him was right here, in this gigantic living room, surrounded by the same kind of people, under the cover of the same kind of music. Nothing seems to have actually changed, but everything is different.

You felt his recognisable grip on your hands as he pulls you away from the pack of frat boys.

“Can we just get the present to Hoseok and leave?”, he insisted. Seeing his constant reluctance, you agreed.

---

Turns out Hoseok wasn’t doing that great on his own birthday. Jungkook could tell with one look and followed him around asking “what’s wrong”, until Hoseok caved and answered that “she called”.

You eyed Jungkook to take Hoseok somewhere quiet for a while, and so your boyfriend lugged the birthday boy back to his bedroom after telling you to wait somewhere safe for him. He had mouthed the words “guest room” to you while dragging Hoseok away.

You had killed about ten minutes wandering around in the human-packed living room, then strolling along the chlorine-stenched poolside and even getting yourself a drink from the bar counter. You bumped into a few friends and noticed a few girls staring you down amongst the forest of people. And now here you were, sitting around in the guestroom, intriguing yourself with the number of figurines Hoseok had collected in his glass cabinet.

“You hiding from the party or are you hiding from your boyfriend's ex-es?”, a tacky voice suddenly made you jump.

“Oh hi Jasper”, you tried to appear collected.

“You know, it’s a pity that a nice girl like you ended up with Jungkook. I’d hate to see you turn out like the truckload of girls he ruined before. If you think you are any different from them, you may be wrong... But one thing's for sure, you are too good for him”, he walked into the room and took a seat on the couch next to you.

You shifted just enough to your left to keep a decent space between the two of you. Maybe you were biased against him, but there was a subtle sense of manipulation in his words, which somewhat reminded you of your first encounter with Jungkook.

“I’m too good for him... he’s too good for me... people will always say such things. It only matters when we think it matters... and I don’t really think so”, you replied in a customarily pleasant way, not entirely thrilled that a stranger was badmouthing your boyfriend so blatantly to you.

His hand ghosted your thighs before resting on your right knee, causing you to recoil at the contact.

“What I'm trying to say is that you really deserve so much better”, his smile was the only thing that appear to be innocent in the circumstances.

You were just about to swat away his advances when his smiling face disappeared abruptly, his entire body having been hauled off the sofa by Jungkook tugging at his collar.

“How dare you touch her!”, Jungkook shouted at the other man, looking as if he could bite his head off right here right now.

“Woah Jungkook, this isn't like you to get so worked up over one girl...”, Jasper was genuinely surprised by the force of his outburst and shrugs his collar out of Jungkook's hands.

Jungkook was livid and he grabs a handful of the guy's shirt, ready to punish him for talking about you like that.

“Jungkook! No, don’t!”, you gripped tightly onto his forearm which was now raised above his shoulders.

“Don’t ever let me see you near her again, do you hear me?”, Jungkook hisses at Jasper but resisted swinging his fist into the loathsome face, throwing him back down onto the couch. Hoseok quickly squeezes past Jungkook's towering form and collects a horrified Jasper, shoving him out of the room forcefully.

“I’ll give you guys some time...”, Hoseok whispers, amused and slightly shocked too, and he lightly closes the door behind him.

---

“Ugh, I just really hate it when anyone else touches you! What more a guy like him! I mean other than the fact that any boyfriend would hate it... what if you know, when he touches you... and it hurts you... and...”, he was pacing around in the guestroom.

“And... ?”, you prompted him to continue.

“That’s how we started too... what if...”, he said in a much smaller voice and pauses.

“Oh my gosh, Jeon Jungkook, you gotta be kidding me... you are actually worried that I might like him?!”, your voice was a little too sharp at the end.

“Isn’t it the motherly instinct thing? Isn’t that why you started liking me anyway? Because you could feel that I was hurting... and you pitied me and...”, he proceeded to lean against the edge of the table.

You squeezed your lips tightly together into a straight line, “Who’s been feeding you this?”

He looks up at you shiftily, “Nobody. I have just been wondering why you would like someone like me... with my horrible reputation and all. And people say it’s like how girls naturally have a thing for pitiful-looking things, it’s something about motherly instincts.”

“So it’s Hoseok then”, you nodded knowingly. Honestly if Jungkook was troubled by anything, the only person he would have confided in is probably Hoseok, and the lop-sided theory he had developed somewhat confirms it.

He looks up at you, stunned into silence. How did you know?

“I don’t think Hoseok is the right choice when it comes to relationship advice”, you sighed.

He lowers his head, reflecting on his choice to take Hoseok’s words seriously and still bothered by the image of that Jasper chap flirting with you so blatantly.

In the past he had also gotten upset before, when random guys came after the girls who were with him. But that was his ego. This, what he's feeling now, is entirely different. The moment he laid eyes on Jasper smiling at you, the moment he saw his hands resting on your knee, it felt like the whole world was on fire. Just thinking about it now makes him feel like could just combust too.

Luckily your voice that came towards him put out the fire a tiny bit. “Yes, it’s true, there are some instincts involved. But isn’t it just human instincts to want to help someone? And instincts can only get you so far. I can’t believe you think I like you because I pity you”, you rolled your eyes.

“Then why do you like me?”, he mutters, still staring at the floor.

You walk over to him, slipping your hands through the slit between his arms and his body since he had stuffed his hands into his pockets. Clasping your fingers together behind his back, you lock him into place. Then, you place your chin on his chest, tilting your face up at him so that you could meet his eyes.

He must have been really jealous, upset or just hurt by all his thoughts, given the tiny flutters of pain you could feel throughout your body.

“I like you because you were this broken only as a result of the love you still had for the people who hurt you. I like you because you knew regret and because you would rather hurt yourself than hurt those you loved. And I like you not only because I felt your pain, but because I felt you change for me, for the better. I like you a lot Jeon Jungkook... just you, only you, ok?”, you smile at him brightly and assuringly.

If emotions could kill a person, maybe dying from happiness is not too bad, Jungkook thought. Everything had a novelty to him. He never had anyone he could call his, he never had anyone whom he would get jealous over and he never had anyone who made him feel like... he was loved.

“But come to think of it, it’s kind of unfair isn’t it?”, you suddenly said with a change in tone, while he was still bathing in an emotional shower. “You had so much ‘fun’ before and I never got my chance! If anyone should be jealous, it really should be me right? Do you even know how many dirty looks I was getting from the girls outside? It's so unfair... hmm... where’s that Jasper or Casper guy again...”, you let go of your hold on Jungkook and pretended like you were about to seek out the guy he almost thrashed moments ago.

“Very funny... let’s see you try...”, he pulls you back without even moving an inch and now his hands were interlocked on the small of your back, holding you tightly against him. You put your palms on his shoulders, gently pushing at him to struggle your way out.

He just smirk-scoffs at your feeble attempt, then darts in to leave a peck on your lips. You closed your eyes for two seconds out of embarrassment, and tried hard to hold back your smile.

“Let me go...”, you whined. He childishly shook his head, his expression taunting you to try again.

This time you used your elbows to pry yourself free from his arm-lock around your waist. He smiles but still scoffs a bit, and instead of freeing you, he squeezes you against his body even tighter and kisses you a little harder and longer this time.

From then on he felt something else being lit within him. “Didn’t you say we will go off after you passed the present to Hoseok? Let’s go now...”, you put your entire forearm on his chest, pushing against it to try to signal to him that you wanted to leave.

He did not budge at all and when your eyes looked up at him, all his emotions culminated into the intensity with which he stared down at you.

“I like you a lot too, Y/N... just you, only you”, his voice was barely audible but yet so forceful, causing you to blink at him.

He kisses you again, softly, taking in every second his lips interacted with yours, reminding himself that he is the one you like. He felt your arms go up around his neck, pulling him closer, so he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. His heart literally fluttered when you hummed a blissful sound against his lips.

It must also be instinct, but perhaps animal instinct, because even when his mind busied itself cautioning him not to hurt you, he really couldn’t resist biting ever so lightly onto your bottom lip, his tongue then quickly brushing over it soothingly.

He felt you smile against his mouth, your soft lips enveloping his, and then he took the chance, opening his mouth slightly, leading you to part your lips, he slips his tongue into your mouth, entangling with yours. He finally let go of his strong hold on your waist and raises one hand to caress your face, his thumb stroking along your cheekbone. Every time your hand brushed his hair, his neck will shiver a little.

It felt like everything was in slow motion, but at the same time he felt like time was passing too fast, he never wants this to end. If feelings could kill a person, dying now wouldn't be too bad either.

But time has it ways and just about then, his phone started pinging on rapid fire with notifications and he could only reluctantly break away from you.

Taking his phone out from his pocket, he facepalms and groans while you angled yourself to see the series of messages from Hoseok:

“I got rid of that guy”

“and I’m sending this just in case...”

“I will really kill you if you do anything gross in my guestroom”

“and also the lock is spoiled”

“so seriously, don’t do anything there.”

You burst out into laughter, and rested your forehead on Jungkook’s chest, shoulders trembling from your giggles, cheeks burning from your blushing. Jungkook shakes his head as he stuffs his phone back into his pocket, his other hand patting your hair lightly as he also lets out a chuckle.

To close the door on doubt and jealousy, is to leave a wider door open for love.

384 notes · View notes

manggojooz · 5 years

Text

Close the Door Now (Part 2): An Epilogue Series to “Take My Hands Now”

pairing: Jungkook x reader

word count: approx. 2,000

genre: romance, slice of life, really tiny bit of fluff at the end

summary: an epilogue focusing more on Jungkook and his parents <3

warnings: none

Epilogue Previous Parts: Part 1

Taglist: @competativekook @flamingorosette @somewhereinthestarss @d-noona @lowkey-kpopstan

Comments: next chapter will likely be “mature audience only”, anyone in the taglist who is still underage?! let me knowwww plssss

“Umm Mrs Jeon… Here, use this…”, Namjoon utters in his calm voice, handing her a piece of tissue for her to dab away the tears which had welled up. He can’t believe out of all the places on earth Jungkook and you had to recommend Jungkook’s mother to his father’s clinic. And it was the summer vacation no less, where he was obviously going to be helping out and shadowing his father’s counselling practice.

A piece of paper lay before the refined lady, with an illustration showing two man on each side of a door – one man looked like he was trying his hardest to push the door open, the other man behind the door leaned against it with his back and struggled, using his entire weight, trying to shut it.

“This is like the conflict you face at home every day...”, Namjoon’s father had an equally soothing voice, “... what do you think will happen if they stay like this for a long time?”

“Eventually one of them will give up and the other one will win?”, Jungkook’s mother despaired.

“That I wouldn’t know, whether any of them will give up. But I do know one thing, if they keep staying like this, both of them will become increasingly tired, their arms will hurt, their legs will hurt and they will become more and more exhausted”, Namjoon’s father counselled.

When the session was wrapping up, Namjoon’s father mentions that “It will be much better if your husband is willing to attend the next counselling session together”.

“Mr Kim, over the years you must have seen so many people facing the same conflict... in the end someone must tire out and give up, right?”, she scorns.

Namjoon’s father nodded, “You are right, I have seen many of them give up. They walk away eventually. But Mrs Jeon, do you really think the person who walks away gave up because they were weak, they were tired or because they lost?”

She looked at him, mulling over his words.

---

“Why would I go for counselling with you? Is this some kind of marriage counselling? Why do you keep doing things that I can never understand?”, Jungkooks’ father snarled.

“You really don’t know why?”, she stops and he too stops for a heartbeat. “Because I love you... and I want things to change... I-”, she continued.

Never has he heard words that were more ridiculous. Never has she heard a scoff more demeaning.

“You love me... that’s why you sleep with other men?”, he mocked her, just like how he always believed her actions were mocking him.

“I love you... that is why I slept with other men”, she held back her tears. He will never understand, because he doesn’t love her.

Some of the people who laugh the brightest have the darkest tears. Some of the most social people are the loneliest. So why is it surprising that someone who seem unfaithful can also be the most devoted? We are the ones standing on both sides of the door – the more a part of us tries to close it, the more the other has to push to keep it opened.

His brow furrows, the lines in his forehead deep and rough, and his lips were tightly shut together. There was no sign of any intention to respond to her, he just sits quietly across from her in the living room.

"Do you really think the person who walks away gave up because they were weak, they were tired or because they lost?”, this question was called back.

She breaks the long moment of stillness. “Let’s... divorce”, the volume of her voice was so low because she was trying not to hear herself.

His expression doesn’t change but he slowly lifts his eyes to look at her.

“What?”, he didn’t want to admit it, but he was shocked, and he thinks he must have misheard her.

She couldn’t bring herself to repeat it. She shackled him to her side because she loved him, so she didn’t want him to leave her. She shackled him to her side because she hated him, so she didn’t want to be the only one suffering. What is the difference really? It was just two sides of that same door. The conflict was not with him.

“You probably wouldn’t like it that I am the one initiating it, but that's the only way in which we can force my father to accept it. I don’t think I need to teach you how to negotiate the terms with him...”, she was doing the one thing she vowed to never do. Actually, she was doing the one thing she never believed she had the strength to do.

He looks at her for a moment and then looks down, his hands clasped together. She stands up to leave and as she turns around, she sees you standing midway on the stairs.

Jungkook had come home to take some of the things he needed, so he was busy in his room and you had wanted to get some water from the kitchen.

Even from that distance you could see her eyes, they looked just like Jungkook’s, they were clear and beautiful but they held a dying universe. You didn’t have to touch her to know – she was in pain.

She gives you a weak smile as she disappears into her bedroom.

---

You made your way to the bottom of the stairs, your footsteps finally catching the man’s attention.

“Ah hello, weren’t you the young lady we had dinner with last time? Good to see you again”, he stood up and adjusted his shirt.

“Nice to meet you again too, Mr Jeon”, you replied pleasantly. You walked up to him and extended a hand.

“Has your school been preaching the importance of social formalities?”, he jokes lightly while reciprocating your handshake. You held on for seconds longer than what is socially acceptable and his expression turns queer.

You waited for it to hit you. But it doesn’t. When you finally let go of his hand, you felt a surge of sorrow. Time has so passed, yet he never loved her.

“I’ll see you around then”, he declares, intending to leave.

“Mr Jeon, if I told you I can feel someone else’s emotions when I hold their hands, will you think I am crazy?”, you stopped him.

“That is a very weird question young lady.”

“Y/N, please call me Y/N”, he must have forgotten your name.

“Alright Y/N... so you are saying you can feel my emotions too?”, he asks candidly.

“Yes, if I touch your hand. And there is one thing I have been wanting to know, if it isn’t too rude... can I?”, you asked outrightly, holding your right hand out to him a second time.

He finds this intriguing. “What is it? What are you curious about? I will decide if I wish to participate in this experiment after you tell me what it is.”

You steeled yourself, he was a gentleman but his charisma still sways you a little. “Jungkook... he relies on you a lot, I was just wondering what you feel about him...”, your words trailed off in your nervousness.

He was curious himself too, what he felt about Jungkook. And he was curious, whether you were really crazy. He puts on his best businessman smile, “Let’s see then”, and he grabs your hand with a firm grip.

You waited for a few seconds, his eyes never wavered as he looked straight into yours. “I know he is not your son”, you suddenly blurted.

There was only a minute change in the intensity of his stare, before he lets go of your hand eventually.

“So, what is it? What do I feel about him?”, he questions you. You did not answer.

“I’m not sure what I was expecting... but this is a really weird thing to lie about, Y/N. You can’t actually feel someone else’s emotions, can you?”, he laughs, finding the whole situation outlandish but amusing.

“I did, I lied... I can’t feel your emotions...”, you replied and he snickers, “I can only feel your pain...”

His smile disappears gradually.

“I don’t know if you are angry, or if you are upset. I don’t know if you like him or if you hate him. But I feel it, when I said that he isn’t your son... you felt it too, right?”, you asked slowly.

He only allows himself to falter for a beat.

---

Jungkook walks into the dark meeting room, planning to calm himself down before the marketing department meeting that was due to start in half an hour. He takes out his phone wanting to read your messages of encouragement to him again.

“Bring your proposal over”, a deep voice suddenly bellows across the room. Jungkook jumps and quickly switches on the lights, only to see his father sitting at the end of the long table.

“Dad, what are you doing here?”

“I’m the CEO of this company, I can be anywhere I want”, his father replies in hostility. Jungkook walks over and hands him the proposal which he had spent almost a week preparing.

The hasty sounds of paper ruffling filled the tense silence. “You call this a proposal? You didn’t even put in the methodology you used. Shouldn’t that be the basic?”, his father spoke with derisiveness.

Jungkook was stunned by the sudden criticism.

“And what is this? This is from one year ago, this benchmark survey... does it even reflect the market today? Any high school graduate can probably churn up a better proposal than this”, the older man shuts the file and throws it back across the table.

He doesn’t even look at Jungkook a second time before picking up the phone on the table and calling someone.

“Cancel the marketing meeting at three. If there’s any other appointment waiting for me, fill in the time with that”, he commanded. As he hung up the phone, he mutters to himself, “this is such a waste of time...”

“Dad, I...”, Jungkook stutters.

“We are in the office. Don’t called me that”, he stands up to walk out of the meeting room.

---

“Sajang-nim...”, Jungkook creeps into his father’s office after being allowed in by the secretary. He had revamped the whole proposal, and he needed his father’s approval for it.

The CEO scans the document quickly with his eyes. “You amended this yesterday?”, from the amount of changes made, he knew Jungkook must have spent the entire night working on it.

“Yeap, I mean yes...” He started turning into a nervous wreck, but he clears his throat before saying, “there’s this part I am not too sure about because I haven’t really studied it before but I tried looking up some case studies...”

His father flips the document impatiently, “I highlighted it in yellow here... I am just confused about the differences between the calculation methods”, Jungkook whispered.

“Shouldn’t you have learnt this in university by now? Obviously you aren't even paying attention in class. Did you even attend enough classes to move on to your next semester?” He has never seen his father speak so stoically, it really is striking some fear in him. But almost as if outside of his control, the corner of his lips rose up.

“Why are you smiling?”, his father glowers at him when he looks up at the absence of Jungkook’s reply to his questions.

“It’s weird... you were always so nice to me last time but I never really felt like you cared. But now, you are yelling at me and I just feel... happy.”

---

He ran to meet you at the theatre, you two had planned to go to a watch a play that evening. For once, you were the one waiting for him instead. You knew he didn’t sleep a wink the night before, having to rush the proposal, even cancelling your dinner plans.

So, you were not entirely surprised when you spied him dozing off halfway into the play. You just let him rest his head on your shoulder and stealthily held his hand as you continued watching the show. He snuggled his face close to the crook of your neck.

“My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep; The more I give to thee, The more I have, For both are infinite”, Juliet says in the ongoing scene on stage.

It is infinite, Jungkook’s love for his parents. Although it is tiring, and it may hurt sometimes, he still continues to love them. And thus, he hates himself a little less. You can only hope that the adults learn it too, that their love was also infinite, that they too, were mirrors of everyone else and of themselves.

245 notes · View notes