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nebulablakemurphy · 1 year

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Moves & Countermoves (Part 17)

Summary: No one ever wins the games, even fourteen years later, Y/N is still playing.

“People of Panem, we fight, we-” Katniss freezes, staring at her own reflection. Makeup done, hair styled to perfection, holding up a stick for the camera. This isn’t real. This isn’t war.

“Does she know the line?” Plutarch asks, into the microphone, for all to hear.

“I know it.” Katniss shakes her head to clear it.

“She’s just warming up.” Effie explains. Even she has joined the effort, leaving behind her drab quarters for Katniss.

“Alright, let’s go again. Whenever you’re ready.” Plutarch instructs.

Y/N sways, soothing her tired infant to a sleepy submission on the opposite side of the glass. Daisy May is not fond of sleep, especially with the world bustling around her.

Katniss gets back down on one knee. This is take three.

“Maybe if you show her.” Cashmere whispers to Y/N.

“Might not be a bad idea.” Plutarch watches the mockingjay, with a hand to his head.

“Yeah?” Y/N is willing to try.

“Here,” Cashmere puts her arms out, “gimme the baby.”

Y/N looks down at her daughter, kissing her tiny nose and handing her off.

She fusses for a moment, in Cashmere’s hold.

“Shh,” the blonde coos, allowing the baby to take a fistful of hair. “It’s ok, my Daisy.”

The little girl sighs, closing her grumpy eyes, never letting go of Cashmere’s waves.

“Ok, Katniss, Y/N’s coming in to do a demonstration. Just follow her lead and we’ll go from there.”

“Yeah, ok.” Katniss’ eyes scan the reflective surface, searching for her.

A second later, her mentor pops through the connecting side door. She is not made up, or wearing some crazy outfit, her stylist squeezed her into; she is just Y/N. Somehow that is enough.

“I’m a method actor, obviously.” Loved her fake husband so much that their staged marriage became a real one.

Not that Haymitch is any better. Content to kiss the ground where she walks, if he couldn’t be with her.

The joke lands only with Plutarch and Cashmere. Katniss thinks she understands, but doesn’t find it all that funny.

“First thing’s first, I’m gonna move around a little, get the blood flowing, get that shortness of breath.”

Katniss moves with her, trotting in place like a show horse.

“Good, now we’ll go down on one knee.” Y/N demonstrates and Katniss follows. “Slowly and with some effort, I’m gonna rise to my feet.”

“Because you’ve just been in battle.”

“Exactly,” Y/N smiles, before her features harden.

She is a thousand miles away, just stormed the outskirts of the Capitol. The ease with which she shifts from one to the other terrifies Katniss.

“People of Panem, we fight, we dare, we end our hunger for justice!”

Even with the wind and the stupid stick in Y/N’s hand, raised in the air, Katniss almost believes it. This is the type of person that fuels a rebellion.

She was the people’s victor. She won her own way, same as Haymitch. So Snow manacled them together and scarred them with his brand.

The more Katniss learns about Y/N the more her heart aches, for the indifference she held toward her for so long. To know her is to love her and it’s a shame that not many people ever did.

“Yes! That was perfect.” Plutarch exclaims, “Katniss, now you try it. Just like that.”

“O-ok,” Katniss stammers.

Y/N moves aside, switching places so that Katniss is on the pedestal.

Katniss repeats the words verbatim, copying Y/N’s performance as best she can. She only agreed to be the face of the revolution after seeing what happened to district twelve. After seeing the reaction to Peeta’s interview with Caesar, she knows this is the only way to protect him.

There’s a slow clap from the corner, growing closer until he steps into view. The top of his blonde hair covered by a dark knit hat. “And that is how a revolution dies.”

Katniss glares at Haymitch, his hand resting at Y/N’s waist, as if no time has passed between them.

“Is this how you greet an old friend?” Haymitch cocks his head to the side.

“Maybe I don’t recognize you sober.” Katniss bites out.

“I guess it looks as bad as it feels.”

Y/N turns to him, whispering something Katniss can’t make out.

He offers her a smile and a chaste kiss.

Katniss sees herself and Peeta. The way they might have been, ten years down the line. Peeta would love her like that…and she’d love him the only way she could.

It would bubble up and swell in her chest, until she burst. Just like Haymitch, pouring from an empty cup.

————————————————————————

Katniss sinks down in her chair, as the propo plays for the team. Wishing she could melt into it, disappear. No one’s going to buy this.

Y/N rubs at her back, “it’s not as bad as you think.”

“You’re right,” Haymitch cuts in, “it’s worse.” He’s always been a tough love kind of guy. Even with an infant strapped to his chest, he isn’t brimming with compassion.

Y/N rolls her eyes, “not helping.”

“Indulge me for a moment.” Haymitch holds both hands up in surrender. “Lets everybody think of one incident where Katniss Everdeen genuinely moved you.” He moves to the digital display, in front of the meeting table. “One moment where she made you feel something real.”

“Ooo,” Effie waves a hand. “When she volunteered for her sister at the reaping.”

“Excellent example.” Haymitch uses his forearm to clear data from the screen. He’s observed enough of Y/N and her tablet over the years, this technology is no different. “Hope that wasn’t important.” He steals a glance over his shoulder, before scribbling in, ‘volunteer 4 sis,’ with the stylus.

“And when she volunteered for Y/N.”

“When she sang that song for little Rue.”

Haymitch adds it to the list. “You know Effie, I like you better without all that makeup.”

“Well, I like you better sober.” The woman says in return, causing Haymitch to glare at her.

“When she chose Rue for an ally as well.” Beetee chimes in.

“Now, what do all of these things have in common?”

“Nobody told her what to do.” Gale understands better than anyone.

“Unscripted,” Beetee agrees, “yes. So maybe we should just leave her alone.”

“And wash her face.” Boggs narrows his eyes, “she’s still a girl, you made her look thirty-five.”

Katniss smiles at this.

“The opportunities for spontaneity are obviously lacking, here below ground.” Plutarch points out. “So what you’re suggesting is that we toss her into combat?”

“I can’t sanction putting an untrained civilian into combat for effect. This isn’t the Capitol,” Coin argues.

“Oh, that’s exactly what I’m suggesting. Put her in the field.” Haymitch knows this is the only way.

“No, we won’t be able to protect her.” The president looks to Y/N now. Surely she is not onboard with this.

“It has to come from her, that’s what people respond to. You want a symbol for the revolution, she cannot be coached into it. Trust me, I know.” Haymitch presses on.

“He’s right,” Y/N sighs. “It’s not ideal but…it’s our only option.”

“Maybe there’s someplace less dangerous.”

“District eight, they sustained heavy bombings last week. No military targets left.”

“We can’t guarantee her safety.”

“You’ll never be able to guarantee my safety,” Katniss adds. “I wanna go.”

“And if you’re killed?” Alma’s words hang heavy between them.

“Make sure you get it on camera.”

————————————————————————

“You realize this is dangerous, let alone highly irresponsible.” Haymitch remarks, watching his wife load her gun. The bullets are color coded; black for regular, yellow are incendiary, and red for explosive. Though they’ve been asked not to fire the red ones down here.

“Yeah.” Y/N cocks the gun, squeezing the trigger and letting the bullet fly. She’s gotten better with practice, now hitting her target at dead center. “You don’t approve?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Then what are you saying, Haymitch?”

“As your former mentor, I’m not inclined to advise you waltzing into a war zone.” You search for water. High ground, stay away from the cornucopia.

Y/N nods, “and as my husband?”

“I’m even less inclined.” Though his feelings for her have shifted over the years, the need to protect her is fierce and unwavering.

“I can’t lose Katniss.” Not like we lost Peeta.

“Yeah,” Haymitch huffs, “I get that.”

She sets down her weapon, on the steel table in the training room. “I’m a good shot.”

“You are.”

“I’ve been working on my stamina, I’m almost back to where I was before Daisy.”

Haymitch won’t deny it. “You’ve got good aim, you’re fast, resourceful and a little bit scrappy. You can survive in harsh conditions.” You’re my victor. “But there’s a hole in your uterus the size of a dinner plate.”

“Was,” Y/N corrects him. “The doctors cleared me for this.”

“I watched you almost bleed to death; twice. So you’ll have to forgive me for being reluctant to let you risk your life. I understand that this is important to you-”

She turns, cupping his cheek, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose. “I wouldn’t want you to go either. I love you too much.”

Haymitch affords her a soft grin, “that always gets in the way, doesn’t it?”

Y/N lifts a shoulder, “somehow I just keep getting sucked in deeper.”

“You keep getting sucked in?” He chuckles. “I was perfectly content on my own for over a decade, before you put your hooks in me.”

At this she laughs, harder than she should. “Don’t make it sound so romantic now.”

Still his arms are around her. Y/N’s at the nape of his neck, toying with the hair that has started growing in with gray peppered throughout and makes him feel every bit his age.

Their lips meet, by her accord or his own; he can’t say for certain. Y/N bids him closer. Deeper, harder, more. I’m yours. Nothing more, nothing less…just hers.

“Stay off him!” Cashmere scolds from the entryway, effectively breaking them apart. “It’s like you’re trying to singlehandedly repopulate this hellhole.”

“Our contribution to this great nation,” Haymitch salutes her.

————————————————————————

“We’ve gotta be quick about this. Get in and get out.” Boggs orders, as they file out of the hovercraft. Nobody wants the mockingjay on the ground for long.

Introductions are brief. Commander Paylor, of district eight, shows them to the makeshift hospital.

Bodies of fallen civilians line the entrance, covered only by tarps. “There’s a mass grave, about two miles west. But I can’t spare the manpower to move them.”

This place is a breeding ground for infection. All the wounded in one place, nothing sterile in sight.

“Don’t film me in there. I can’t help them,” Katniss says to Cressida, as they move farther into the masses.

“Just let them see you,” the woman insists. She left the Capitol for this, she knows what she’s doing.

“Come on,” Y/N gives her shoulder a squeeze.

Katniss opens her mouth to speak but Y/N disappears into the crowd, helping nurse the wounded.

There is someone in the corner; no one tends her, she is alone and clearly suffering. A bucket of water, with a single sponge inside, sits beside her, bandages to the left.

“I’m surprised they let you out just to show face. Thought you were more important than that.” The woman from district eight says.

“I’m not here to show face. I’m here to support Katniss and what I believe in.” Y/N takes a seat, beginning to clean her wounds.

“You sure this is the side you fall on?” She chokes out. “There’s no fancy parties or big houses here.”

Y/N lifts a shoulder. “I never liked the parties and the house wasn’t very homey. The only good thing about it was my family inside.”

“People used to look up to you.”

“That was a long time ago,” Y/N murmurs.

“They will again.” The woman is sure of it, “and when they do, make sure you’re ready. Make sure you stay on the right side of things.”

“I was just trying to survive, couldn’t see beyond that.”

“He’ll kill you for this.” President Snow. “For standing with us.”

Y/N nods, with a tired smile. “Yeah.”

“Then why are you here?”

“This is what I believe in…a new Panem. Where we are equals and have a say in our own lives. It’s worth the risk. It’s gonna take all of us, every person in every district, we all have to fight for it.”

The woman presses her lips together, allowing Y/N to dress her wounds. She says nothing else, looking up at the victor, from time to time. I see you.

It feels good to be seen, by a stranger who owes her nothing. Someone to see her without the tainted film of rose colored glasses.

————————————————————————

“How have things been since your release?” Dr. Aurelius inquires.

“Alright, I guess.” Haymitch is not here of his own free will. “Never gonna be good, given the prohibition you have going on around here. But I’d rather be with my family than locked up a mile away.”

“Tell me about your family.”

“My son’s name is Everest, he’s ten. My daughter, Arista is six and Daisy is four weeks old. Then obviously Y/N and her family. Katniss.” Peeta.

“Were they planned? The children.”

“Yes and no.” Haymitch scrubs a hand over his face.

“Can you explain what that means?”

“I don’t want…” Haymitch pauses, “our children are not burdens, Y/N and I have always said that. Those kids are everything and I don’t want that getting twisted. Ever.”

“Of course.”

“Snow gave us deadlines and we met them. With Everest and Arista, we had a year. In that year Y/N needed to be pregnant.”

“But not Daisy?”

“They screwed around with Y/N’s birth control. We’re fertile people, it doesn’t take much.” Haymitch admits.

“And your marriage, would you call it a happy one?”

“Yes, by my account. But I’m sure she’s told you all about me.” This is a joke, for the most part.

“I can’t say much, as it would be a breach of confidentiality. Still you should know, she speaks highly of you. She loves you very much.”

Haymitch drops his gaze.

“Where did you go just now?”

“Nowhere.” Haymitch brushes it off, “I was just thinking.”

“Thinking about Y/N?”

“Isn’t it fucked up how someone like that could love someone me?”

“In what way?” Dr. Aurelius asks.

“I mean you’ve met her.” Haymitch huffs, “had a few sessions.”

“Sure.”

“She’s special.”

The doctor lets him speak.

“She’s a good person. She’s smart and she’s funny and she deserves the world.” Haymitch shifts in the chair, “she got me instead. Not exactly a fair trade.”

“I don’t think she feels that way.” The doctor informs him.

“Hmm,” Haymitch mulls it over.

“From the sound of it, you have always been very protective. Now you tend the children, so she can aide the rebellion. That must be hard for you.”

Haymitch scoffs, “I want to chase her down and bring her back.”

“Then why haven’t you.”

“If you love something, you set it free or some bullshit like that.”

“You love her deeply.”

“Coin offered to ‘dissolve’ our marriage. Did Y/N tell you that?” Haymitch changes the subject.

Aurelius sighs, “she didn’t mention it.”

“Tell me, oh great one, what does that mean?”

“Her mind is made up about you, Haymitch. Whether it’s right or wrong, no matter who deserves what, the heart wants what it wants. You are what she wants.”

“I want her too,” Haymitch snaps.

“You’ve mentioned that you struggle with the fact that Y/N didn’t get to choose you as a partner. Yet each time she does, you cannot accept that she is choosing you. As though you feel unworthy, unlovable.”

“Is that your official diagnosis?” Haymitch wonders, making no effort to confirm or deny.

The doctor flips quickly between entries in his notebook. “There is no distinction in any area of your relationship, a true lack of boundaries. All of your triumphs and failures, all of your sadness and your joy, is either sourced from her or the lives you’ve created together.” Dr. Aurelius tosses both hands up. “The greatest tragedies ever written are love stories, after all.”

Part 18

Series Taglist: @praline357 @flowercrowns-goodvibes @justheretoparty420 @avocadotoastwithegg @treehouse-mouse @emo-markie @spilled-mi1k @magical-spit @greaser9902 @jessicamellarky @yourebuckingkiddingme @smuha2004 @sendhelplease @ninimackbrews @wittiestrain184 @r1dd1kulus @erenluvr69 @helpimhyperfixating @jackierose902109 @jellybear455 @dreammgc @dadbodfanatic-x @ftdtcmlovr @inky-sun @ms-brek-ker @undercover55655 @mischiefmanaged21 @avoxrising @koiphisch @drwho-ess @daisydaisybilly

#haymitch abernathy x y/n #haymitch x reader #thg haymitch #haymitch x y/n #haymitch abernathy x you #haymitch abernathy #haymitch abernathy x reader #haymitch fanfic #haymitch abernathy x yn #haymitch abernathy fanfic #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #moves & countermoves

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phefics · 4 months

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Your headcanons might just be my favorite ever!! Ily!! What about THG headcanons for how they would propose?? Or if you've dine that already, generally your wedding.

omg tysm!! you didn't specify just the guys like ppl usually do so just in case i'm gonna do all the characters i write for!! hope you like it!!

coryo (politician coryo specifically) would probably plan an elaborate but private proposal - as much he loves to show you off, to bring you to parties and brag about his partner, he does like to keep his vulnerable side hidden from most people, so i think he would want to propose with no prying eyes. he would give you some long, cheesy speech and buy you the finest ring possible.

finnick takes you to the beach he grew up on in district 4, and treats you to a beautiful evening of food and wine, swimming, and then proposes to you by putting the ring in an oyster and telling you to look for the pearl. when you pull out a ring instead, he just grins like a fool and pops the question. he definitely cries when you say yes and just hugs you for what feels like an hour straight.

gale just asks if you want to marry him one day, like it's a totally casual and normal thing to ask out of nowhere. if you say yes, then he'll go get the ring and ask you officially this time, probably in a nice secluded place in the woods.

haymitch does it similarly to gale - just super casual. he strikes me as a "go down to the courthouse and sign the papers" kinda guy when it comes to marriage. if he knows you want something more romantic, though, he'd do his best to plan some kind of dinner to pop the question.

johanna seems like she'd do it super dramatically, but i think she would actually be very romantic about it, but still casual. she takes you out and waits until you arrive back home to ask, in the safety and privacy of your house (and so she can push you back onto the couch for a make out session when you say yes).

katniss has no idea how to propose, i think you might have to do it tbh. she is just not super romantic, or at least, she isn't good at showing it. if she did propose to you, though, she would work her ass off to get you the nicest gift possible and would probably stutter and stumble over her words when she asked. she's a small wedding kinda gal too.

lucy gray would make it a whole big show. she plans a whole fancy day, probably makes you do some kind of scavenger hunt to find your ring, and probably asks you to marry her via a beautiful song. marrying lucy gray means the entire covey is gonna be partying all night long.

peeta is a classic romantic guy, he's gonna take you out to dinner and pop the question on a nice nighttime walk, and give you a whole sappy speech that makes you cry. he is just so genuine and charming about the whole thing.

sejanus is gonna be super nervous to pop the question, and probably overplan a whole fancy night only to end up asking you before his plan starts because you look so good in the outfit he picked out for you that he just blurts it out.

tigris would probably prefer to be proposed to, but if she were to pop the question herself, it would be a very chill and intimate moment. the ring she gives you is probably a family heirloom and she apologizes that it isn't anything fancier, but it is an absolutely beautiful ring and she would also probably make her own wedding dress.

#💌 𝐈𝐍𝐁𝐎𝐗.#i like dont even have the energy to tag this one lmfao #thg hcs #ophelia’s hcs #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes

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cutpaperbleedswater · 3 months

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Random thoughts about thg #3

It’s clear in the First Games that Peeta was willing to do a hella lot to make sure Katniss survived, including putting himself in dangerous positions like joining the career pack. He knew about the one Victor rule (like all) and was already willing to be one of the 23 fallen to have Katniss on top. He didn’t care that much about his survival, probably feel a deepest worthlessness stemming from his family life to the point where his win is not worth anyone’s loss. He arguably set himself an expiration date, perhaps when he dropped the knife and tried to get Katniss to kill him. He was ready to die in the Games, already saying before stepping foot into the arena ‘I want to die as myself’ nothing about trying to win, he did say he would kill if it came to it, but that would probably be in defence of Katniss when they’re separated and they pose a threat to him and his ideals.

In Catching Fire, he just survived for about six months before the Victory tour, getting used to it all and then on the Tour his extraverted persona shined through as he tried to drag Katniss’s weight along with him. Also the tour is when he finds out the truth, of just how in danger Katniss is by her own doing, and is pissed at being left out of the loop, probably already trying to sort out how to fix it but being told he’s all good it’s just her. When the Quell was announced, he ran straight to Haymitch to beg him to practically die so he could protect Katniss. Not thinking about himself like Katniss thought about herself, but about her. In the Quell, he tries to defend Katniss as best as he can especially with everyone else trying to defend him for Katniss. In Mockinjay, it’s all too likely they forced him for everything but that ain’t really Snows style so much as blackmail. They definitely Katniss against him, having two Games of knowledge about how much he cares for her. Snow would bluff about what he would do to Katniss if he didn’t agree to the interviews, of the intelligence he didn’t have about Katniss’s whereabouts but by the time she starts popping up for him to see, there is no point but to turn that protective instinct to a defensive instinct, putting himself and the people around him infront of her despite always doing the opposite.

After the series, it’s likely all he knew to do with himself was to get better so he could help Katniss and perhaps his old community with baking bread, putting himself last again, only caring about himself to help others which is why he probably finds it strange when Katniss begins to care about him back especially after all the mixed match ideas he has of her.

Probably got the wrong end of that stick, but it’s just my ideas

#the hunger games #katniss and peeta #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark

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waywardangel-wilds · 2 months

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Prompt: Peeta spanking Katniss? 😛

“If you’re gonna be in my kitchen you’re washing your damn hands,” Peeta pushed Haymitch towards the sink. “Don’t touch that! Stop touching everything!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Haymitch rolled his eyes.

“Peeta? Do you think the roast is done? Should I take it out?” Katniss asked from the other side of the kitchen.

“Um, I don’t know? Would you check for me?”

“Sure, no problem.” Katniss picked up a dish rag, sliding the oven open. She put the dish on the stove and got a fork and knife, cutting into the meat. “It’s bleeding too much, I’m putting it back.”

“Okay!”

Katniss pulled the oven open again, bending over to carefully place the dish back inside. She was gently nudging the dish forward when she suddenly jumped, feeling a hand descend quickly against her rump.

“Did you just spank me??” She cried out incredulously. Peeta snickered, looking like the cat who got the cream, while running towards the other side of the island to avoid her.

“For the love of God, wait until I leave!” Haymitch groaned, staggering out of the room.

“What are you gonna do?” Peeta mocked, waggling his eyebrows playfully. “Are you gonna punish me?”

“You’d like that too much,” Katniss picked up a rag, twisting it in her hands until she could up it as a whip. “I’m going to get you.”

“Ooh I’m so scared,” he feigned left and ran to the right, pinching her breast before running away again.

“Ah!” Katniss ran after him, whipping his exposed arm with the towel.

“Ouch!” He yelped, stopping at the opposite end of the island again. “That’s cheating!”

“There’s no rules in war, baby.” She replied, launching herself up and over the island, to Peeta’s surprised screech.

“Cheater!” He repeated, having no choice but to catch her so they wouldn’t both fall over.

“Nah uh!” She slid down from his arms, reaching out to grab two fistfuls of his ass. “Say uncle.”

“Ha! Why? I just won.” He grabbed her from the back of the thighs and tossed her up onto the counter behind her. “Haymitch! Go home!” He shouted, yanking off his shirt. “I’m gonna fuck my wife!”

“Shh!” Katniss insisted through laughter, watching him try to pull her pants off without popping the buttons.

“What? He knows what we do.” He laughed. “Get out if your don’t wanna hear anything!”

“What about the food?”

“I have dinner right here.”

Distantly, the front door slammed shut.

#lmao I had fun with this #but sorry I was busy cooking so it’s not longer #the hunger games #everlark prompt #prompt #story prompts

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thesweetnessofspring · 6 months

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hiii!

I'm new to the hunger games fandom and I haven't read the books just watched the thg movies over the weekend and there's just something I can't figure out and has been bothering me 😫

so in the first movie, Katniss starts the game alone but Peeta is shown teaming up with district 1 and 2. I couldn't really understand why this happened? is it to keep an eye on district 1 and 2 bcs they were their biggest threat? or did Haymitch tell him to? I do know that he was on her side from the beginning, but am I missing something?

(I just searched the tags here and yours was one of the top pages that popped up that had answered anon questions so I thought I'd ask here but pls don't feel like you have to answer and sorry for disturbing if this is like really weird 😅)

Hi nonny! Not weird at all, otherwise I wouldn't have my anon on!

First, let me say:

So glad to have you joining our fandom! If you liked the movies I highly suggest reading/listening to the books, there is even more to love there!

You've pretty much got it down. We don't know exactly what went down between Peeta and Haymitch while they were strategizing, but we have some good ideas about why they chose this strategy.

First, Peeta's main goal is to get Katniss home. Katniss is a survivor and did well finding food, water, shelter, etc. given the situation. They knew she wouldn't need help there, at least not any Peeta could offer. While getting a training score of 11 is helpful for sponsors, it also put a target on her back, especially with the "Careers" who are the tributes from District 1 and District 2, and sometimes District 4 (the girl tribute from 4 is briefly in the books, but they removed her from being part of the Career pack in the movies). Peeta infiltrated their group to protect Katniss, working them from the inside instead of the outside. Peeta is physically strong and a wrestler, but his real strength is his powers of persuasion. We see him use this when getting the Careers to camp out and wait for Katniss to come down from the tree rather than continue to attack her. This gave her the time and bearings to get some burn cream, rest, and figure out a plan. And then, when it came down to it, Peeta put his body in front of Cato's to give Katniss an opportunity to escape, so he was likely expecting to at some point being a physical protector for the much smaller, fights-at-a-distance Katniss.

Basically, it was all strategy to protect Katniss against her biggest threat using the greatest strengths at Peeta's disposal.

#anon ask #peeta mellark

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wickedpeachie · 6 months

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Distance

Plotted w/ @boybreaded

The new house is too quiet, so much so that she can still hear the faint ringing in her ear if she focuses enough. The silence pushes her out of the bed and into the strange place that is now her home. Its a far cry from their old house, but Prim and mom had worked hard to make it…familiar. There is nothing that feels familiar aside from them. Even if it doesn’t scream Capitol, its enough to make her on edge in the middle of the night. Katniss strips from her previous clothing damp with sweat from the nightmares that come and go. Cranking the shower to hot she lets it warm before jumping in. Katniss scrubs the grim and dirt from her skin, the sweat and the tears. The scent is cedar, earthy, nothing floral or perfumed like sweets. Too Capitol for her tastes. Drying and dressing into comfortable clothing, Katniss gives herself a once over. Her skin is still smooth, and she can still see traces of what the Capitol had done to make her prettier. Life of a victor…leaves too much time for her liking. Her days are empty, at least currently until the tour starts. Everyone else in her life has a purpose, a job…a hobby. What does she have?

She has the woods…

Sometimes it even haunted her dreams.

Katniss peeks into the empty kitchen, spying the kettle with a mug next to it. It seems Prim has caught on to her habit of coffee in the morning and left it out for her. Settling with the cup in her hand, Katniss moves to settle on the steps of her porch, staring at the somewhat vacant houses of Victors village. Only three residents…Her, Haymitch…and Peeta.

Peeta. Her gaze lands on his front door. Of course it would be right in front of hers. Her stomach twists uneasily, her guilt bubbling up from the pit in her stomach she stuffed in it. Anytime her thoughts flickered to him it was a war within herself. They hadn’t spoken…at least not really. Maybe in passing if she thought about it, but not like how it was in the games. Prim encouraged her to pop over, but if she was being honest…she was a coward. Peeta had a way of making her vulnerable, honest. He had survived the games too, he stood there ready to eat the berries with her. Now, she could barely look him in the eyes. The only word she could settle on when she thought of Peeta was complicated. That truly wasn’t the only word, but it was the only one she’d admit to herself.

Did Peeta fill his days similarly to hers? She wondered if he still worked at the bakery, or if he took painting up more seriously. There were days she almost dared to knock, but reality would snap her back and instead she’d sit and stare when she was positive no one would catch her in the act. In some small way, she wished he would and that terrified her.

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ithinkabouttzu · 1 year

Note

Hello lovely! Absolutely LOVE your writing, and I was hoping to get a BOB ship, if that's okay 🤭

I'm 5'4'' and have dark hair, tan skin, and dark blue eyes. I recently got curtain bangs that I really vibe with, and it feels like the beginning of a new era, because they gave me a lot of confidence lol. My pronouns are she/her. I'm an INTP-T and a taurus (who is super excited for her 21st next week hehehe)

In terms of personality, I've always been more of an introvert, but I'm learning to put myself out there more, speak up for myself, and set better boundaries as of recently. I'm loyal to those I care about, but as a double taurus, I'm pretty stubborn when I'm passionate or feel strongly about something. When I care about someone I do it wholeheartedly. And if I care about a subject, then get ready for an infodump lol.

As a kid I did ballet, gymnastics, archery, and played piano (as well as a few other instruments), but now that I'm older I focus mainly on running, weight lifting, and baking for fun. It helps to relieve the stress of being a history major, haha. History, writing, and beadwork are my jam, but I also live for outdoor activities like hiking and kayaking - anything that lets me be in the sun.

Yeahhhh, there's not a lot to me lol, I hope that was enough. Thank you so much in advance darling! 💕🕊️

Thank you so much for your request honey!! (i’m an INTP too omggg 😭🩵)

I ship you with…

Shifty Powers !

Song recommendation: Hopelessly Devoted to You - Olivia Newton-John

- Reading your description, he just completely popped into my head and I think your personality would blend so nicely with his! Like you both like having fun outdoors, and are more on the introvert side but both of you are so friendly!

- I think you guys would start off as friends first, just getting to know each other and being around one another before a relationship ever sprouted, but the whole time he would have a super crush on you

- Like he would think you are so beautiful, inside and out, he gets major butterflies every time he sees you and talks to you it’s insane, It would be so hard for him to hide his feelings towards you without making a complete fool of himself because you just make him so nervous (in a good way ofc) every time you’re around

- He thinks your blue eyes are so beautiful, like he could stare into them for hours if he wanted too, he thinks they’re even gorgeous in the sunlight, really just everything about you is absolutely drop dead divine to him omg

- I think he would eventually ask you out after some major convincing by some of the other guys, he would go all out to ask you properly

- Like he would probably take you someone so unique, like a lakeside with a pretty view, or on a scenic hiking trail, and at the end of you guys talking/hanging out, he would ask you, and ofc you’d say yes

- Okay let me tell you how he LOVES your curtain bangs 🤭 like he never told you straight up how much he likes it but omg omg he finds it so dang attractive (also be prepared for him to play with your bangs when he’s sleepy too)

- Y’all’s dynamic is so cute together, like he’s more of a listener and he loves hearing you talk about what ever you’re interested in, and you like to talk about certain topics that you’re into and passionate about! He would be happy to listen to any of the stuff your interested in and would probably end up enjoying it too!

- He finds it so cool that you used to do archery, I mean like, who wouldn’t want to have a badass girlfriend that has the same aim as Katniss Everdeen? LOL but in all seriousness he thinks that’s super cool about you

- If you let him, he would totally enjoy listening to you play the piano or whatever instruments you would like to play, he just thinks you are super talented in general and whatever you are doing he know you will be so good at whatever it is, It’s so peaceful to him just listening to you play, (he thinks you are so gifted omg it’s so cute)

- Ugh and he would be such a good boyfriend to you, like he’s an absolute simp and just wants to make you happy in any way possible, plus he’s super thoughtful and makes every little thing he does for you meaningful

- For example, he would hear to talk with your friends about a cuisine you’ve been craving, and how you’ve been feeling down. He would take you out to dinner there, buying almost the whole menu from the restaurant, a big bouquet of your favorite flowers, and a trip to see a movie you’d been wanting to watch a the theater.

- And wait there’s more; at the end of the date, he would take you home and give you loves of cuddles and massages there, reminding you how much he loves you and how lucky he is for you, and making your favorite ice cream too!

- He is so good for your mental health too, like he’s such a gentleman at every little date (holding doors, kissing your hand, giving you his jacket, etc.) and he always respects your boundaries and how you feel. Like if someone is doing something that makes you uncomfortable, he’ll tell them to cut it out, with a total death stare, or if he did something that made you uncomfortable he would apologize and swear to never do it again

- He is the most sincere and genuine boyfriend you could ever ask for, like every little thing he does for you is so planned and thought out like, “Will she like if I say this?” or “Will she like if I do that?”

- He’s so cute, even down to little nicknames he calls he’ll try and really think hard of one that suits you or makes sense (he would come up with “Birdie” as your nickname because of your musical talent and bc you like being in nature) HES SO CUTE OMG. 😭

- You know what’s so cute, you and him baking together omg, He would be your helper the whole time, getting the ingredients out for you to bake, and stuff like that, bro is really just trying to get a recipe tho because he loves your baking so much

- I think he is also really into history!! Like you and him watching a historical documentary or something like that is a staple in y’all’s relationship

- He will LOVE to do anything outdoor with you, going to his hometown and kayaking and hiking he’d love it so much, that’s honestly one of his favorite places to be with you, and it’s the perfect combination of his two favorite things; nature and you ;)

- He loves seeing how much you care and how passionate you can get about something, he will be there to support you 100% if someone is objecting your thoughts and he just respects it so much on how vocal you can get about what you believe in (as long as he’s not on the other side of it all)

- You’re excited for your birthday? Well be ready because I could totally see him buying you a million gifts and dedicating the whole week prior to get you everything you want/need for your birthday!

- Overall He’s honestly the best boyfriend you could ever ask for, whatever you need, he’s got it for you, he’ll be there for you emotionally, physically, and spiritually 100%, he is so kind and generous and he just loves you so so much

Thank you again for your request lovely! I hope you enjoy bunches!! 🩷🩶

#ithinkabouttzu #band of brothers #shifty powers

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paradoxesofgalaxies · 1 year

Note

1, 4, 8, 14 :)

Thank you!

1. Do you have an inner world? If yes, is it something you consciously made? What is your inner world like?

We have an inner world that already existed as well as some intentionally made spaces. I'm pretty cut off from the pre-existing inner world but I know a little about it. From what I've been shown, there are lots of different places that can be accessed by the forest full of pools of water (like in the Magician's Nephew). We've also been working on creating some intentional safe spaces to help facilitate communication

4. How do you experience communication from parts?

In a variety of ways. Sometimes it's like hearing voices. Sometimes more like an inner dialogue. Some parts communicate with images. Others use music (currently trying to decipher some music communication). Sometimes it's just *knowing*. And probably plenty of other ways I can't think of now.

8. Do you have a(ny) fictional introject(s)? What is that like for you?

I think so? There has been some evidence that we may have some introjects but they're not parts I've had much contact with. I know that when we were first figuring this all out and told K about our DID and explained parts, she asked if [character] was a part bc we apparently used to talk as if we were [character] sometimes. I also think we have a Katniss introject. She popped up when we last re-read the books but I haven't been aware of her since.

14. What ANP(s) are around the most? How do they differ from each other?

We're trying to figure that out lol. We know there are quite a few parts who go by Rowen but we haven't sorted out who's who yet. A lot of the other parts that are around day to day are very singularly focused (a part who cleans, a part who preps ingredients for meals, a part who cooks, etc.). A lot of them are more fragmentary so I'm not sure if they count as ANPs

#galactic gab #asked and answered #parts stuff

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wreywrites · 7 months

Text

Tiger Shark

Part 5: The Net

Chapter 30

“We thought it was rain!” Johanna splutters as Finnick dunks her again, partly to wash her off, and partly to keep her and Katniss apart as Katniss helps scrub off Nuts and Volts.

Wiress keeps saying “Tick, tock. Tick, tock,” and it’s already driven Johanna up the mast, so we have separated them.

Johanna hauls in a breath as she pops above the surface. “You know, because of the lightning, and we were all so thirsty.”

This time Finnick lets her finish her sentence before dunking her.

She comes up again. She is looking cleaner. “But when it started coming down, it turned out to be blood.” She scratches her fingernails along her scalp, scrubbing more blood out of her hair. “Thick, hot blood.” Johanna takes a deep breath before Finnick pushes her under again. She comes back up and goes on without missing a beat. “You couldn’t see, you couldn’t speak without getting a mouthful.” She goes under again, then comes up again. “We just staggered around, trying to get out of it.” She pauses, staring off over my shoulder at the trees. “That’s when Blight hit the force field.”

“Johanna…” But I don’t know what else to say.

“I’m sorry, Johanna,” Finnick says.

“Yeah, well,” she blinks hard, “he wasn’t much, but he was from home.” She sucks in a huge breath and plunges back under water. She stays down there a long time. She finally emerges, gasping for air, but looking clean and determined, pushing back the hair that has come loose from her ponytail. “And he left me alone with these two.” She waves a dismissive hand at Nuts and Volts, but there is something else in her eyes.

Johanna knows. She knows what I don’t know. What Katniss doesn’t know she doesn’t know.

“I got them out.” Johanna turns to Finnick. “I did my job. I’m in the alliance—right?” She looks desperate.

Finnick nods. “Yeah. You’re in, Johanna. You’re with us.”

She looks at me and opens her mouth, but Finnick shakes his head.

“Come on,” he says, “let’s go get some food.”

Katniss has cleaned up Wiress while Alvan and Cecelia have patched up Beetee’s back. We all sit in the shade as the sun rises higher and higher, Finnick and Haymitch catching Johanna up on the last twenty-four hours of our lives.

“So that’s why you all look like lizards.” Johanna smiles a little.

I raise my eyebrows, but Alvan, who is relaxing in the sun, chuckles. “I’ll bet we do. All scaly ’n’ dappled ’n’ green. Start peelin’ soon with any luck.”

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

I must fall asleep again, because I am woken up by Katniss shaking me. If I look anything like her, I do look like a lizard.

“It’s a clock!” she keeps saying, over and over, while behind her Nuts repeats “Tick, tock. Tick, tock.”

When Katniss has roused us all, she starts talking a million miles a minute.

The arena is a clock. Lightning strikes at noon and midnight. Johanna’s blood rain in the next wedge from one o’clock to two, then the poison fog, then the monkeys, and at ten there is the wave that carried away our poor wretched jumpsuits.

The wave that carried away Zalea and Tychus. The wave that drowned the boy from Three. The wave that broke the boy from Twelve’s treehouse. The wave that swept me to victory.

The wave that washed away the old Annie, whose flippers I have never been able to fill. She left me a house and a father and friends, a closet full of green dresses, a picture frame that shows the laugh of a boy I will never see again, a nickname I can never live up to.

My foot scrapes against something that isn’t sand. I inhale sharply.

“Careful there,” comes Alvan’s easy voice from behind me.

Without really thinking, I nod, focusing on my feet. We are walking along one of the rocky spokes toward the cornucopia. Ahead of me, Cecelia is guiding Wiress forward, and beyond them is Johanna, then Haymitch, leading the way.

I don’t remember how we got here, or why we are going to the cornucopia. I’m not even sure we’re going to the cornucopia, but I don’t know what our destination might be if that’s not it.

I feel incredibly validated when we stop in the mouth of the cornucopia. At least I figured that out by myself. And I walked myself here. Those are achievements.

Katniss sets Nuts to cleaning the congealed blood off Volts’s coil of wire while the rest of us pick through the weapons that are still in the cornucopia. I notice Finnick and Haymitch making a conscious but subtle effort to keep Johanna and Katniss as far away from each other as possible.

I understand that. If Katniss is going to snap and kill any of us, it’ll be Johanna. They rub each other the wrong way, and yet Johanna went through all the work to bring Nuts and Volts to us, practically pleading to join the alliance. The unwelcome thought crosses my mind that, when this alliance breaks, as it will have to eventually, I will take Johanna’s side. We’ve been friends for three years now and I’m not about to let that go.

They are talking about canaries in coal mines and Wiress is singing while she scrubs the wire and Cecelia is checking Beetee’s back again. Haymitch and Alvan look around at the jungle, hilariously similar in their mannerisms, each with a hand on their waist as they use the other to point and gesture.

And then someone screams.

“Alvan!”

His head whips around.

My gaze follows, too slowly, only in time to see a knife thunk into Wiress’s chest. The boom of the cannon almost masks Beetee’s sorrowful groan, but there is no time to focus on Nuts’s death.

Cashmere is sprinting up the stony spoke in front of us, reaching for another knife. Behind her thunder Brutus, Gloss, and the woman from Nine, whose name escapes me but who I remember Beck telling me to stay away from.

Cashmere throws another knife, but Haymitch shoves Katniss to the side just in time. The knife grazes his shoulder but does no further damage.

Katniss has an arrow on the string and just as quickly it is gone, but Cashmere didn’t win by being stupid. She dives to the side, into the water, and the arrow hisses past where she was just a second ago and buries itself in Brutus’s thigh.

The cannon booms again and I have no idea who is dead. Before I can even puzzle out if another member of the alliance might have been killed, the ground jerks beneath my feet.

The arena is spinning like a merry-go-round. Or maybe just the cornucopia. I cling to the sand for dear life. Then, just as quickly as it started, the spinning stops. I have always hated merry-go-rounds. Laying on the ground, I hear the others sound off, get slowly to their feet, raise their voices in a panic.

“The wire! Where’s the wire?”

By the time I have eased myself upright, still a little dizzy, Katniss is climbing out of the water, hauling the coil of wire. Cecelia sits next to Alvan, whose head is between his knees, his shoulders shaking. Johanna helps me to my feet. Finnick is slapping Beetee’s back the best he can without hitting his wound. Beetee coughs up some water and Finnick nods.

Haymitch’s head looks like it’s on a swivel as he looks here and there, every which way. “Where the hell…?”

“Can we leave now?” Johanna says, that familiar bored annoyance creeping back into her voice.

“Sure thing.” Haymitch rolls his eyes. “Which wedge would you like to go to?”

“The lightning tree,” Katniss says. “That way we have plenty of time to rest up and plan while we know we’re safe.”

“Yeah, of course. Just tell me which way that is,” Haymitch drawls sarcastically.

Johanna, Finnick, and I start off in three different directions. I glance back to see Alvan pointing in a fourth, and Cecelia looking around in wild confusion. Katniss frowns, looking around at the identical wedges of the arena.

“Thought so,” Haymitch says.

“Twelve o’clock, right?” Alvan says, still pointing in the direction the tail of the cornucopia faces. “The tail points at twelve.”

“Before they spun us. I was judging by the sun,” Finnick tries to defend himself.

At least they were being logical about it. I had just gone with my gut.

“The sun only tells you it’s going on four, Finnick,” Katniss says.

“I think Katniss’s point is, knowing the time doesn’t mean you necessarily know where four is on the clock. You might have a general idea of the direction. Unless you consider that they may have shifted the outer ring of jungle as well,” Beetee says thoughtfully.

We have lost our advantage, and we can’t even follow the tracks that Cashmere, Gloss, Brutus, and Nine might have left, because they have either been blown or washed away. Which reminds me…

“The second cannon,” I say quietly.

Alvan slumps again.

Cecelia smiles sadly. “It was Kivvie. She must have seen them coming and yelled to warn us. Enobaria…” She trails off. “We owe her at least some of our lives.”

Haymitch nods.

“But we’re still lost.” Katniss’s question seems self-serving, almost crass, but on her face is a deep respect and something bordering on sorrow.

Beetee shakes his head. “Only temporarily. At ten, we’ll see the wave again and be back on track.”

“Unless we’re in the wave section. Then we’ll all be dead.” Katniss glances at me and then at Finnick. “Well, most of us.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Johanna says impatiently. “We’ll stay right on the beach if that makes everyone feel better. Then we have a fighting chance, even with the wave.” She almost smiles at me. “You might just pull it off again. Wouldn’t that be crazy?”

“Something like that,” I say. “I don’t want to have to do it though.”

Johanna shrugs. “Well, I need water. What’s the plan?”

So we pick a random direction. By the time we reach the beach, we are fairly sure that it’s the monkey hour, and we don’t see any of them in the trees, so we decide to risk it. Katniss taps a tree while Alvan stands guard and Finnick weaves yet another water basket while I strip vines for him.

The work is mindless, and I find myself thinking over our time in the arena. Not in the way that usually happens, where I fade out and listen to the screams from my Games, but in a conscious, curious, confused way. Why do we have such a huge alliance? Why did Johanna risk her life just to bring Katniss Nuts and Volts? Why is Cecelia patching all of us up, making sure we are bandaged and our wounds clean and non-debilitating when she could get rid of half of us by leaving us to bleed out? Why have Finnick and I been catching enough shellfish to feed six to nine people instead of letting the others starve? Why did Kivvie condemn herself to death at Enobaria’s hands to warn us the Careers were coming when she could have been several people closer to victory by not shouting? Why did Haymitch put himself in the path of Cashmere’s knife to move Katniss-

Oh.

We are keeping Katniss alive.

We. Like I’m in on it. Everyone except me is keeping Katniss alive. I look at Finnick. He has that same look he always gets when he’s concentrating.

He glances up at me and grins, then goes back to work.

No. I know that smile. He might not know it yet, but everyone is keeping Katniss alive except for Finnick, who never lets me out of his sight. Who is going out of his way to make sure no one tells me what’s going on. Who is doing everything he can to keep me fed and watered and safe and well-rested. Who will jump ship the minute this plan puts me in too much danger.

But now I know, so I will fight all the harder. I will not let him jump ship. And I will stay with him.

Finnick has finished his basket and hands it to Katniss to fill with water. She takes it, and it is half-full when I hear the high, blood-curdling scream.

Katniss drops the basket, the water spilling everywhere, and runs.

“Wait, Katniss!” Finnick is after her like a shot, calling over his shoulder, “Stay there!” Then he disappears into the trees, still shouting, “Katniss, no! Come back!”

I stay by Alvan. He yanks the spile from the tree and hangs it around his neck.

The same scream echoes through the trees again but worse, so much worse, and Alvan bolts. But not before I can see the realization in his eyes. I run after him.

“No! No, wait!” Alvan shouts, sprinting through the trees down the trail of destruction the other two leave in their wake. “Katniss, come back, they’re-!”

I don’t find out what they are. The scream falls silent.

“Katniss?” Alvan calls cautiously.

There is another scream. Not the little girl. I recognize its beginnings from one day, many summers ago, swimming north of the pier, where sometimes there were jellyfish and we weren’t always careful enough, but now it grows far beyond that. This is worse. So much worse. It is a tortured scream I have never heard before, and one I will never hear again, but I am eighteen again and Mako’s head falls to the ground.

I am running, chasing the sound as it drags on and on. I slam into someone, scramble back to my feet, look wildly around for the source of the scream.

And then Mako’s scream is cut mercifully, horribly short.

“Annie!” Finnick has both hands on my shoulders. “Annie, it’s just a-”

Jade screams. And Coral. And Dad.

Finnick is still talking, trying to keep me here, explain what’s going on. But he has forgotten one thing: I can still take him in a fight. And they are hurting everyone I love.

I rip my arms away from him and run.

Somewhere Rizz is screaming. Mr. and Mrs. Silther. Beck. Mags.

A bird swoops by my head, Jade’s shrill wail of pain following it. An arrow strikes the bird. It falls to the ground, and the scream falls silent.

Other people are screaming. Little kids. A man I don’t know. Someone that sounds like Alvan but isn’t quite.

I look at the bird.

And then I notice the others. The trees are full of them. And every time they open their beaks, a piercing shriek comes out.

All four of us are running, crashing through the jungle, back the way we came. The birds follow. There are Johanna and Cecelia, their mouths moving in shouts we can’t hear over the birds, gesturing at us to stop.

Katniss and Finnick bounce off thin air like birds bouncing off a clean window. I have no time to stop, slamming into a clear wall and falling back onto the ground. The birds are everywhere. What I would give to fade out now. Anything would be better than the screams. I clamp my hands around my ears. I can still hear them. Dad and Coral and Jade and Rizz and I am screaming too.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

“And while we waited for Beck to come back with the ice, we tried to scare off the gulls.”

He sounds horrible.

If the audience didn’t know before, they do now. I am curled against Finnick, hands clamped over my ears, throat raw from my screams. He is sitting against a tree, both arms around me, talking quietly. Some story about catching a big swordfish and not having a good way to store it.

Slowly, I move my hands and look up at him.

His eyes are scared but he smiles anyway. “Hey,” he whispers.

“Finnick,” I rasp, barely holding back a sob. “They hurt them.”

“No.” It’s Johanna’s voice, quiet behind me.

Katniss is in hysterics not far away. The little kids must have been for her. I don’t know anyone younger than me who isn’t in the arena. And Finnick… I’m right here. For a horrible moment I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if Mags was in the arena instead of me. But I don’t have to wonder from how tightly he’s holding me. They would have been my screams, not Coral and Jade and Dad. Not Mako. Just me.

Beetee is talking. Something about how easy it is to take any recording of a person’s voice and distort it into those pained screams. How the jabberjays were repeating sounds that have never been real, never been made by the people they were mimicking. But it’s too late. It did what it was supposed to.

Haymitch and Cecelia are sitting next to Alvan as he rocks back and forth on the sand.

“Finnick-”

“It’s okay. You’re okay,” he whispers, voice hoarse, pulling me against his chest and kissing my forehead. “I’ve got you. Stay with me.”

I nod. Then it hits me, really hits me. They know now. Not just Snow and his inner circle whose job is to spy on victors and keep up on everything about us—but the audience. Not just Marius and Dalia. All of Panem. Does it matter? If this plan to keep Katniss alive hinged on no one knowing, he could have left me in Johanna’s care, or even with Haymitch. But he didn’t. He’s here.

“Stay with me.”

I shrink against him, tapping on his stomach. Thought they weren’t supposed to find out. Haymitch-

Doesn’t matter now. We’re getting out.

It takes focus to not react to that. I start to tap back, but he beats me to it. Can’t explain. Stay with me. I love you.

I love you too.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

There is a cannon later that afternoon, and the hovercraft has to pick up five separate pieces of whoever it was.

After the anthem plays, we find out it was Seeder. The other two deaths today were Wiress and Kivvie.

Are there really only seven of us dead? I can’t bring myself to voice the question, and before I can dwell on it too long, a parachute floats down. Haymitch, unprompted and unteased this time, grabs it and opens the basket to reveal lots of small rolls of bread. Sadly, they are not cream cheese rolls.

“They’re from my district,” Beetee says, looking up at the spot where they projected the dead tributes. No doubt he is mourning Wiress. No doubt all of Three is mourning her. Hence the rolls.

But there are a lot of them.

“Twenty-four,” Finnick says.

“Three each.” Johanna nods appreciatively.

So we each eat three of the rolls with our oysters and sit on the beach until the ten o’clock waves rolls down. Then we pack up and move to that slice of beach.

Alvan speaks for the first time since the jabberjays, but only to say quietly that he’ll take the watch.

The rest of us settle in for the night. I curl up on the sand, feet toward the water so I can see the length of the beach and trees sprawling in front of me until the curve of the shore takes it away. Sleep, however, evades me. I lay awake, staring blankly ahead, for a long time, listening to Haymitch and Beetee and Johanna talk about something. Their words are lost in the roar of the wave and the thunder of the buffalo herd.

There is a thump and a huff behind me.

I start to roll over, but an arm slips around my waist and Finnick says, “Just me.”

I frown. “Wh-?”

“They already know,” he mumbles. He’s already falling asleep. “So I’m getting a good night’s sleep.”

Hard to argue with that logic.

****

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Tag List:

@avoxrising @snow-dragon-rider @anakins-ride-or-die

#wrey writes #the hunger games #thg: tiger shark #annie cresta #finnick odair #canon typical violence #character death #dissociation #ptsd

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bradenthompson · 1 year

Text

Insurgent (2015) notes

Give Divergent (2014) this: I did immediately put on the sequel.

>iirc, I bought a ticket to this movie opening weekend, for the purposes of sneaking into a screening of Kingsman: the Secret Service. So I'm partly implicit in this movie being #1 at that weekend's box office.

>by 2015, Lionsgate had acquired Summit Entertainment, further consolidating their power in the bloody history of YA Movie Feudalism. This is important because at the top of Insurgent is a splash logo for Summit subsidiary International Distribution Company LLC, touters of maybe the worst splash logo of all time. Looks like a PS2 game, but like, the ones made when the PS3 was already out.

>also producing is one Red Wagon Entertainment, the production name for one Douglas Wick, producer for all three Divergent movies as well as 2005's Jarhead and Memoirs of a Geisha. So if you want someone to blame for these movies never concluding, well, he's a name that's public.

>Winslet says "...by dividing people based on personality and aptitude..." which goes against what I understood Faction Society to be. Citizens self-select their factions, don't they? Or is forced division a new thing since the Great Beatrice Crisis

>It'd be really funny if Kate Winslet is only seen on computer screens for the entirety of this movie. Just rolled up to the bluescreen studio and knocked out her role in one day

>I miss Jai Courtney. Haven't seen him in a movie for a while. Bro wasn't phoning it in, unlike some of this cast

>New director for this one! Robert Schwentke, also responsible for RED, R.I.P.D., the yet to be seen Allegiant, and Snake Eyes: GI Joe Origins (a movie that--get ready for this--I've seen)

>RUNNING👏THROUGH👏FORESTS👏

>lil pissbaby Ansel doesn't get a cool Dauntless jacket lol get fukked bud

>Katniss also started her sequel with the lingering consequences of taking a life, Beatrice. One of you is gonna have to change

>ain't no goddamn way they filmed Divergent 2 with the IMAX cameras

>too many movies feed teenagers the lie of chopping your own hair and having it come out salon-layered and photogenic.

>am I supposed to call him Four or Tobias, because the former is funnier

>"How long do we have to stay here" Bea are you for real

>aw dammit Winslet's in the flesh

>secret box, secret box, secret box, secret box

>gonna start making guesses at what's in the box now and pray they reveal it before the end of this movie a. letter from the founders saying factions are a load of bullshit b. key to door that will be opened in Divergent 3 c. contract buyouts for the whole cast when this series fails to conclude

>"I really don't know how much longer I can do this whole peace and love thing." Truer words wrt Beatrice have never been spoken. She pops more heads in one movie than most YA girls do in a trilogy of books

>Miles Teller is silly now.

>"wait, we're fugitives?" Ansel, what the fuck did you think was happening here?

>"we need to find out what happened to the other Dauntless" presumably stayed in the city, Four, you beautiful cinder block of a man. They certainly didn't run off with you--I would know, I just watched the first movie like two hours ago

>"we need to kill Jeannine" TALK YOUR SHIT BEA

>lmaoo Miles Teller is such a dick, Beatrice is a psycho, this movie's gonna rule ass

>love how Amity has roads but the villain trucks just run over the fences anyway

>the dominant trait of Amity is politeness, which I feel runs counter to what's historically known about the agricultural complex

>hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (people who have seen Insurgent know what I'm talking about)

>save money on set design with a little bit of the ol' RUNNING👏THROUGH👏FORESTS👏

>do you think Ansel was directed to run like a geek or is that just how he is

>man I hope Veronica Roth eventually got to jump on a moving train irl. Seems like a big fantasy of hers, next to sharing needles (incidentally, injection count's still at zero)

>who could ever dislike Beatrice. She breaks arms. She kicks women out of trains to be crushed under the wheels. She bites hands and doesn't afraid of anything

>Four's mom lives in a haunted house lol

>shut up Ansel (I've said this out loud four times, we're thirty minutes in)

>Divergents fit into every faction, like a faction avatar of sorts, and by that token the factionless don't fit into any faction, ergo they are the worst people. With you so far, movie

>hey what's the absolute weirdest thing a mother can say to her son's girlfriend. Because that's what Four's mom just said

>hey what's the second weirdest thing a mother can say to her son's girlfriend. Because that's what Four's mom just said

>we have just received mention of administering a truth system, bringing our injection counter dubiously up to one

>so every faction can hold their own trials? Is that what Four's talking about? Is the Dauntless trial just Thunderdome?

>injection counter now decisively up to 1

>the Divergent series doesn't have a love triangle and thus doesn't have any teams other than Team Four but I'm gonna be Team Miles Teller just to be a pissant

>injection counter: 2

>Candor man asks "did you harm anyone" to which Beatrice, under the effects of truth serum, says "my mom," which literally is not true. Then again, maybe the truth isn't a divine thing, rather whatever the serumee believes to be true. Beatrice could be telling the truth as she believes--ie. putting her mom in the position to be shot is as good as killing her herself. So could a totally delusional person invalidate the serum by just believing incorrect things? Discuss with your table.

>Maybe Beatrice should've objected to Four's "neither of us have secrets worth hiding" thing

>"people get hurt when they get close to me" objection, your honor?? Conjecture???? why is truth serum making her say this????????? Again, I think truth serum has a big flaw someone should reformulate

>what's in the box? d. a ceremonial dagger whose holder gets to be King of Earth e. map to the rest of civilization f. the Allegiant book ie. the scene in Spaceballs where they fastforward the movie

>Divergents are special, but some Divergents are more special-er than others. What the fuck does that mean

>Four has a way of flying in from offscreen for stealth attacks. Refuse to believe he's capable of this. Giant, pretty tree, him. Ain't creepin up on nobody

>Jai Courtney we hardly knew Yai Courtney🙏

>what a fool I was to attempt an injection counter when I should've been doing a popped collar counter

>Beatrice wearing a tactical vest and nothing else; I like her style

>"I'm gonna kill Miles Teller!" "okay" lmao

>nine injections in one scene, talk about a buzzer beater

>back to the simulation fakeouts. Still momentarily fun

>still don't think admitting to insecurities should count as Candor. If anything that should be Dauntless

>Beatrice realizing Four's not actually there by him referencing a line from a scene he wasn't in? Cool idea. Don't think Beatrice had to reiterate that, but it's cool

>women in movies love taking showers while holding some random step of the Macarena

>shut up Ansel

>injection count: 12 (I'm counting all the simulation probes separately) (btw: injection count 21)

>good on them for keeping the "breaking glass barriers" motif for all the big "she's a Divergent" moments. Someone on the storyboard team wants senpai to notice. And I did

>so... am I to understand that Kwinslet unknowngly shut herself out of the box by putting Beatrice in a position where she can't act on her Amity-worthy kindness? I'm not ruling out this scene possibly being a longform fakeout. These movies have set a precedent

>Miles Teller Best Character

>injection count: 30. Allegiant's gonna need a miracle to beat this record

>I did predict Beatrice eventually scrapping with a shadow clone by means of self-discovery. Did not predict the video game graphics.

>Beatrice The Cooler Beatrice

>Beatrice should try the ducking in the corner trick, bug out Evil Beatrice's AI

>taking one more guess at what's in the box, for ol' times sake g. incomplete coordinates. Allegiant is about getting the rest of the coordinates, we never find out because they never finished these movies

>okay I was... almost correct? first answer was almost correct. It's a message from outside the city. If I have this right, the whole Faction Society was just a prank bro a social experiment with the goal of creating Divergents, and their greater purpose will be revealed in the next movie, or maybe not because they didn't finish them

>approximately how much time passed between movies? Kwinslet still has a bandage from Beatrice stabbing her hand. Has it been a week? I'm gonna imagine both movies are set over a week.

>Four's mom taking a little too much credit for this

>if Beatrice and Kwinslet don't get their ultimate deathmatch by the end of these I'm eternal sunshining this series from my head

>Faction Society only needed one "you guys can leave" message and everyone packs their bags, lmao. Solid as a rock

>BOO FOUR'S MOM, DENY ME MY THUNDERDONE

I'm clapping folks, I'm sitting at my desk and clapping. That was way better than the first movie, wtf is imdb talking about. We got Punished Venom Beatrice, Miles Teller talkin his shit, the number one cause of death is shooting in the head, YA Sequel Haircuts, Royal Blood at the end which isn't a great band but they bring some much needed oomph to this soundtrack. You'll take Veronica Roth's needles and jumping on trains from her cold dead hands. What is it with 2010s YA trilogies and the second movie being the best one, and why am I the only one who holds this obviously correct opinion? Glad I bought a ticket to this movie in 2015 and didn't watch it for eight years. Bring on movie three, I crave that total deflation.

#Divergent #well ig it's Insurgent #insurgent #movies #should I take one of the online faction quizzes #never did one at the series' height bc i never read the books or watched these movies #okay brb #AMITY???

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endlessnightlock · 2 years

Text

Not sure what this might be, probably some sort of Gale and Peeta bonding after Gale scares the crap out of him thing.

“Dammit, Vick,” Gale swears. His typical patience is skinned to the bone today. He’s running on another short night's sleep, on the heels of another double shift. Today's his day off, and he's giving Vick another ten seconds to finish up whatever the hell he’s doing in the bathroom, whether that's sitting on the john or messing with his hair, before barging in and throwing him out in the hallway on his ass.

While Gale’s considering how much force to apply with his shoulder to pop the lock, Rory stumbles past. He must’ve just rolled out of bed- his hair’s all over the place. He doesn't try to dodge Gale on his way by, but that's nothing new. The Hawthornes are constantly running into each other. Their three-bedroom, prefab house isn’t big enough for two teenage boys, one pre-teen girl, their mother, and Gale.

Gale ignores the sideswiping by Rory's bony shoulder. He decides to give Vick another minute before using brute force since he’s been looking through online listings to find a cheap second vehicle for the boys to share. Between leaving for work at all hours of the day and night, Rory and Vick need a car to get back and forth from school, work, and practices, not to mention running Posy wherever she needs to go. Their place is like an airport hub some days.

“Did you hear Katniss is knocked up?” Rory throws over his shoulder.

“She’s what?” Gale demands, forgetting the 1994 Ford Tempo he was thinking of messaging the owner about and stalking into the living room after Rory, intent on answers.

Rory drops onto the couch and grabs the latest issue of Hemmings Muscle Cars off the end table, steadily avoiding Gale’s eyes. “Pregnant,” he repeats.

Jeez, he’s as jumpy as if he’d done the deed himself.

Gale knows; he just knows it’s no coincidence Rory dropped the news about Katniss like that, oh so casually, to prevent him from blowing up. He doesn’t lose his temper often—since he’s never been able to keep his thoughts to himself, it’s not usually a problem. But when it comes to big things, and his younger cousin is a huge thing, his temper sometimes gets the better of him.

“Who’s she seeing?” he asks instead of punching the wall in place of whoever-the-father-is’s head, proud at himself for keeping his cool. As if Katniss, who’s been through more shit than any nineteen-year-old has a right to, needs one more thing to go wrong in her life.

The bathroom door finally opens down the hallway, and Vick shuffles out guiltily. “Sorry,” he says.

Gale rolls his eyes. Like it even matters now.

“She’s seeing that Mellark guy we were in school with,” Rory supplies, flipping through the glossy pages of the magazine.

“Mellark—” Gale begins but pauses mid-thought, frowning. The only Mellark he knew anything about was the middle one from his class. Couldn’t remember his name, but they were on the football team together. Kind of an asshole if he remembered right. That guy wasn’t good enough for Katniss, for sure.

“Mellarks are the ones who own the bakery,” Vick supplies as if it’s any real help. Also, he doesn’t seem surprised, and that pisses Gale off a little bit. Who all found out about this before him?

Rory sneers at his younger brother. “Like we didn’t already know that.”

“Will you two can it for a second,” Gale mumbles, pinching the bridge of his nose before addressing Rory again. “You hear how she’s taking things?”

“Don’t know anything else. That’s all I heard, honest.”

“What’s this kid’s name again?” Gale asked, thinking about paying the guy a visit.

“Can’t remember. It’s something weird,” Rory frowns at the spot on the wall over Gale’s shoulder, lost in thought.

“I know his name,” Vick supplies smugly.

Gale stares at his youngest brother, waiting for him to spill, but when Vick stays mum, he reaches his breaking point. “What are you waiting for—out with it already!”

Vick shifts on his feet. “You guys acted like I was an idiot the last time I chimed in. So I thought I’d make you wait.”

“You are an idiot, but so is he,” Gale addresses Vick while thumbing in Rory’s direction.

“Hey, you wouldn’t even know if I hadn’t told you!” Rory shoots out, tossing his magazine aside, sounding more than a little affronted.

“Yeah, yeah. Now spill, would you?”

#endlessnightlock writes #idk if there will be more of this or not #unplanned pregnancy

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serpenteve · 3 years

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At the end of R&R,yet again,Alina holds herself back because of Mal. I bet my life if Malyen stayed dead,she would've considered Nikolai's offer. She would've ruled Ravka and led the Second Army. So much wasted fucking potential. Also,for people who have only known war in their country and grew up in tough conditions,both Mal and Alina give me the same vibe as "apolitical privileged brats who pop up once in a while to say BLM to hop on the trend and think it's enough activism for today". Why tf has the never ending war NOT radicalized them yet? Why does she want to save Fjerdan and Shu Han lives when they're literally killing her kind? The whole,killing=bad thing is shoved down our throats so forcefully,you forget which side Alina is on. They just don't give a fuck huh? Don't tell him what he's doing or did is wrong when you chose to hideaway and fuck off into the sunset with your chad, actively choosing to ignore the problems faced by Grishas just because you are not one of them anymore.

also the whole Aleksander uses merzost like it's something he does when he's bored and Alina being punished for using it ONCE that too out of necessity sounds so fucking sexist to me. She gets punished and he just gets lashings? As much as I love Aleksander,I thought he'd lose his powers at the end of R&R and become a mortal grisha or a normal human. would've been good. but then how would LB get the chance to drag his bloody corpse through the mud just to pay rent?

The whole trilogy is weirdly anti-Grisha, especially when it comes to women in power.

It's as if Alina's original life trajectory was to live an ordinary unassuming life with Mal but that gets momentarily derailed by the background conflict of the Grisha versus their oppressors but said conflict ultimately does nothing to develop her character or change her life. She is Grisha for a while and then conveniently gets stripped of her powers so she can continue her original trajectory of her cottagecore life with her anti-Grisha sexist boyfriend.

It would be like if Katniss started the Hunger Games trilogy as a Capitol bootlicker and when she gets shoved into the arena and sees the way district children are literally canon fodder, she refuses to join the resistance because "killing people is wrong!11" and instead of becoming a symbol for the revolution and radicalized by her circumstances, she becomes Snow's mouthpiece against the revolution and at the end of the trilogy, she just fucks off to live in the Capitol and talk shit about Gale because he killed a bunch of Capitol children once but she won't lift a finger to stop the Capitol from drafting district kids into the Hunger Games 😬

It follows the trend of leftist revolutionary types being demonized by the narrative so that the centrist heroes can maintain the status quo.

#viv answers #i think we are more than justified about being angry about that garbage ending #why leigh why #ruin and rising more like ruin my life rising of spite

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everlarkficexchange · 3 years

Text

The Barrier

Author: @hutchhitched

Prompt 77: Married Everlark are coworkers and their marriage is on the rocks. They’ve been sleeping in separate rooms. Divorce looks inevitable. On a business trip, there is *dramatic pause* only one bed. Does the forced closeness lead them to really talk for the first time in months or does it drive them further apart? Smut not required. [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Ratings/Warnings: M; allusions to infertility, divorce, self-loathing

“What do you mean there’s only one bed?” Katniss hissed at her husband. “We were supposed to have our own rooms, and now you’re telling me we have to share a bed? Did you do this on purpose?”

Peeta glared at her, fury flaring in his blue eyes. If she weren’t so furious herself, she’d push a little harder, but the flint-like nature of his glower convinced her that she needed to steer clear, if only by shutting her mouth once she’d voiced her opinions.

“What kind of idiot do you think I am?” he practically spat at her. “It’s not like I want to spend time with you. I get enough of that at home.”

“A big one.”

“A big one, what?”

“You asked what kind of idiot I think you are. I think you’re a big idiot.”

“Enjoy sleeping on the street,” he said with unnatural calm and turned sharply on his heel. He’d only taken three steps before she crumbled. She had no interest in sharing a bed or a room with the man she’d married a decade ago, but she definitely didn’t have any desire to sleep in the hotel lobby, or worse.

“Oh, come on!” She called after him and hurried to catch up before he made it to the elevator. “You’re not going to leave me hanging. We’re here for work, and neither of us can afford a bad performance review this year.”

“It’d be worth it,” he groused.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

Peeta stood to the side so those inside the elevator could clear out and then stepped into the box with his suitcase. He punched the button for their floor and leaned against the wall without bothering to glance her way as she struggled to get inside with her bag.

“Can we not?” he asked tiredly. “You can yell at me all you want in the hotel room, but it’s unseemly in public.”

“Unseemly?” She almost said more, but bit the inside of her cheek instead. She could wait until they reached their room to see how bad the situation was going to be before she said anything else. This whole thing probably wasn’t fair in any way, but she couldn’t help but feel like this was somehow all his fault.

The elevator ride concluded in silence, as did the walk from the elevator to their room. Peeta fiddled with the lock for a full minute and cursed as the red light flashed several times before finally figuring out how it worked and popping the door open to allow them to enter. He flipped on the lights as he entered, and she almost smiled at the familiarity of him scanning the corners for someone hiding in the shadows. He’d started that habit on their honeymoon when they’d not bothered to look before going at it against the door as soon as they closed it behind them. An errant cleaning lady who’d only been dropping off extra towels and pillows had gotten quite a show, very likely one she’d had absolutely no interest in viewing.

The honeymoon was a long, long time ago. So long, in fact, that Katniss wasn’t even sure if she even liked her husband anymore, let alone loved him. They hadn’t been intimate in forever, it seemed, and she hadn’t missed it at all. Well, that wasn’t true. She did miss it. She just wasn’t interested in doing anything with him. All the sexual tension, passion, and lust that had existed between them had simply dried up as real life got in the way. They’d taken out their frustrations and irritations on each other instead of looking for comfort in the other’s arms.

“Do you want to use the bathroom first?” Peeta asked as he set his bag on the edge of the bed and unzipped it.

“First, yes. If it’s okay with you.”

“I don’t care. Knock yourself out.”

He turned his back on her and stripped off his tie before unbuttoning his shirt. He got it over his shoulders and was working on his belt before she shook herself out of her daze and closed the door to the bathroom behind her. Taking her time, she showered and re-braided her hair before brushing her teeth and applying moisturizer. She was just about to pluck her eyebrows when a pounding sounded on the door.

“Can you hurry it up? I’d like to go to sleep sometime tonight.”

Irritated, she jammed her beauty products back in her toiletry bag and ripped open the door. Haughtily, she glared at him and swept by to head to the bed. When she saw what he’d done, she froze.

“What’s this?”

“What’s what?”

“Why are all these pillows in the middle of the bed?”

“They’re making a barrier.”

“Yes, I can see that, jackass. Why is there a barrier of pillows in the middle of the bed?”

“To separate us.”

“But you’re sleeping on the floor.”

“Why the hell would I sleep on the floor?”

“Because we’re not sharing a bed right now. We don’t even sleep in the same room at home anymore. Why would you think we’d do that here?”

Peeta gaped at her, completely dumbstruck. It took a while for him to put words together, but when he did, she wanted to smack him.

“Katniss, I don’t know how to tell you this, but you’re crazy if you think I’m going to sleep on the floor of a hotel just because you decided you don’t want to be married to me anymore. I’ve tried to be understanding, but this is bullshit. I’m not a puppy you can kick.” Peeta shook his head and squeezed his eyes closed and his lips together. She knew that expression because it was one he’d shown much too often in the past several months. That was the look he made when he was about to lose his temper. “Now, I’m going to shower. If you have shit to do, I’d suggest taking care of it while I’m in there because I’m tired, and I’m going to sleep once I’m done.”

She waited until he’d closed the door to the bathroom before ripping the pillows off the middle of the bed. Hell if she was going to sleep in the same bed with him. He’d made a mistake to leave her alone if he thought that was going to happen. She piled the pillows back up against the headboard and then climbed into bed. Once she was directly in the middle, she pulled the covers over herself, set an alarm, and turned off the lights. If she tried, she might actually be asleep before he came back out, and then he’d have to take the floor. They’d barely seen each other in the past few weeks, let alone touched. She certainly didn’t want to start that the night before a big meeting.

It felt like she’d hardly closed her eyes when Peeta exited the bathroom and walked over to the bed. Smirking to herself, she rejoiced in her petty victory. Except… The mattress dipped under her, and she jumped as her husband climbed in behind her. With a shriek, she sprang from the bed and stood clutching the sheets in front of her.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Indignant, she wanted to smack his face. His eyes shone wide and blue with faux innocence that quickly shifted to a self-satisfied sneer.

“I’m going to bed. I told you that before I went into the bathroom. Really, Katniss. You should pay closer attention when I tell you what I’m planning. Someone might think you don’t listen. Not very good for a relationship, you know.”

“I was there!”

“And I put up a barrier, which you demolished. Seemed like an invitation.”

“You are such an asshole,” she sputtered. “Get out the bed.”

“And you’re being a total bitch. Get back in bed, and we’ll stick the pillows back between us. I’m not sleeping on the goddamn floor because you’re too stubborn to actually talk about what’s wrong between us.”

“I’m not sleeping in the bed with you!”

“Then, have fun on the floor.”

Infuriated, she fumed at him with a slack mouth and a hollowed out chest. He knew exactly what to say to hurt her, and maybe that was the problem. He knew her too well, knew all her vulnerabilities and insecurities and disappointments. Because of that, she could hardly look him in the face. If she did, she’d have to admit all the flaws she had, and if she did that, he’d know the same way she does that she doesn’t deserve him. Not in a million lifetimes.

Gutted, she ducked her head as tears pricked at her eyes. He reached for her, but she flinched away from him. She couldn’t handle his compassion, which he offered even when they were at their worst.

“Don’t touch me,” she ordered as strongly as she could, which was a pathetic attempt at regaining control. “Don’t touch me. Just put the pillows back. Please.”

He nodded, and it was almost her undoing. Turning her back, she waited until the rustling stopped before climbing back under the covers and settling on her side. The silence was louder than any noise she’d ever heard. It was matched only by the rush of blood in her ears. She stifled a sob and squeezed her eyes closed as tightly as she could. It wasn’t until she was almost asleep that she heard him.

“Goodnight, Katniss.”

She didn’t bother to answer.

****

Katniss woke to a streak of sunlight on her face and a warm fuzzy feeling that stretched from the pit of her stomach to the tips of her fingers and toes. Safe and warm, she nuzzled into the pillow, only to realize it was hard muscle covered in soft cotton, and there was something stiff poking into her thigh.

She didn’t want to move, didn’t want to risk losing the feeling of being loved and protected and cherished. There’s been so little of that in her life. Since her father died, the only person outside of her family who loved her was Peeta. Peeta Mellark, her childhood sweetheart turned fiancé who became her husband way too young, loved her. Maybe he still did, but it was hard to cling to the possibility. More likely, he wanted a divorce. She’d probably face the rest of her life alone.

She closed her eyes and floated in the sensation of being cared for by someone who didn’t have to want her. The press of muscular thighs and cut hips and…hell, she wanted that. She needed it. Desperate, she ground against the thick shaft and moaned low in her throat. It was matched by one just as frantic and eager.

“Katniss,” he whispered, and she tipped her head back to accept his kiss. He’s a dream, someone who could see past everything she couldn’t accomplish, every failure, every disappointment. “Sweetheart, you feel so good.”

He rolled on top of her and hitched her legs around his waist. They rutted against each other, groaning and whimpering at the pleasure they received from their connection. He made her feel so much better. He made her feel like she wasn’t a failure. He made her feel worthy.

“I’ve missed you so much. Missed you so much.”

Hands scrabbled at her sleep shorts. Heat flooded between them and deep in her gut. She wanted him, craved him inside her, longed for acceptance. Something about him—

“Stop!”

Peeta froze on top of her. His reaction was immediate, which only made her feel worse. She’d lost herself, forgotten who it was in bed with her. She’d led him on and allowed him to think their marriage could survive this when he’d be a million times better off leaving than staying with someone who couldn’t give him what he wanted.

“Katniss?”

“Don’t,” she warned. “Don’t talk to me like you can fix things if you only talk slowly and calmly enough. I’m not a child.”

“Sweetheart, please. Please let me in. I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered fiercely. “Please don’t do this to us.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Tell me what’s wrong. Tell me what I did. Why did you pull away from me? What did I do that was so terrible?”

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to breathe evenly, but sobs choked her. He hadn’t done anything. He’d only ever been a wonderful husband, and all that did was remind her that she couldn’t ever live up to what he should have. He was loved and respected and admired by everyone, and she was suspicious of the world. He could make anyone laugh, while she stood by awkwardly with an uncomfortable expression on her face. There were a million things like that, but the worst was what she couldn’t quite process enough to allow herself to embrace what he wanted to give her.

He wanted children, and she couldn’t give them to him.

She burst into tears, which she knew was the only guaranteed way to get him to back down from the brewing confrontation. He wasn’t so much of a masochist that he’d purposefully provoke a weeping woman, particularly not his wife, no matter how strained their relationship. Like she knew he would, Peeta released her and flopped onto his back on the mattress next to her. He didn’t try to comfort her. Instead, he allowed her to sob as her tears quickly converted from fake cries to full-fledged howling.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, and he accepted her apology without even demanding to know anything else. She knew he was frustrated, but he held the space for her, without pushing, as she worked through her outburst. Finally, she quieted, and he rolled onto his side and tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

“Better?” he asked with such gentleness in his eyes and voice and touch that she broke again.

“No!” she wailed. “It’s not better. It’s never going to be better.”

Exasperated, he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Without a word, he stalked to the bathroom, and she heard the shower turn on and the unmistakable sound of him stepping into it. Embarrassed, she closed her eyes and tried to still her rapidly beating heart. Nowhere in her plan for this trip did she anticipate break down in front of her husband, but she also hadn’t foreseen that they’d have to share a bed. It wasn’t like they’d been doing that at home. Not for months.

“Shower’s free,” he announced as he re-entered the room with a towel slung low on his waist.

His hair, usually ashy blonde and wavy when it was dry, clung to his head as water droplets traced down his chest. A jolt of lust shot through her, something she hadn’t felt for a long time. Without a word, she passed by him to get ready. When she was done, he’d already left for their meeting. The day passed quickly, and too soon they were back in the room together with an awkward silence hanging between them. Peeta didn’t even bother to talk. He simply got ready for bed and curled up on his side with his back to the wall of pillows between them.

Katniss attempted to fall asleep for what felt like ages, but the only thing she could do was listen to the steady in and out of Peeta’s breath. The sound was so familiar to her, and it was even more dear than that. She missed him so much, and, if the morning was any indication, he wanted her as much as she needed him.

“Peeta,” she hissed. When he merely grunted, she moved one of the pillows that separated them and reached across the barrier. “Peeta, wake up.”

“What do you want?” he grumbled without turning toward her. “Sleeping.”

“I want you.”

Peeta rolled over, but he didn’t make any effort to touch her. Pillows still separated them, but the wall they’d built between them was much worse than the temporary barrier. They needed to talk, but she didn’t intend to. She could distract him, she knew. She’d always been able to with a smile and a kiss and her body.

“Talk to me first.”

“Why? What good will it do?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it would fix everything. Maybe, just maybe, we could save our marriage. If nothing else, it might make me think you want me and not just a night of meaningless sex. It’s not like we’ve exactly been jumping each other for the past several months.”

She sniffed at his sarcasm, although she couldn’t blame him. He’d put up with a lot from her, but he’d been kind of awful, too. His kindness earlier in the day didn’t make up for some of the cutting remarks and nasty actions he’d resorted to when he was frustrated. Still, his desperate plea for her to let him in struck at her heart, and she didn’t want to lie to him anymore. If she could just get started, the barrier between them could be dismantled.

“You wanted a baby.”

Her voice waved, but it was out there now. She knew it wasn’t her fault, had gone over the medical issues repeatedly, had processed all of it. Still, she felt like a failure. Knowing and feeling were almost never the same thing when it came to pain and disappointment.

“So did you.”

“It’s not the same.”

He signed loudly. Shifting away from him, she curled into herself at his irritation.

“Sweetheart, I love you. I’ve always loved you. Yes, I wanted a baby, but I want you more.”

“You don’t mean that,” she protested.

“I really, really do.”

“How am I supposed to believe it?”

Peeta sat up and grabbed the pillows between them and tossed them to the floor before grabbing her arm and tugging her toward him. He put his mouth next to her ear and hissed, “I want you more than anything else in the world. Do you feel that? Can’t you tell how much I crave being inside you?”

She shivered at the feel of him hard and plastered against her thigh. How he’d gotten there so quickly, she had no idea, but it gave her ideas, especially since she did some quick math in her head and realized it had been over six months since she’d slept with her husband. They still had a million things to talk about, a thousand misunderstandings to navigate, and a ton of baggage, but the removal of the barrier had begun.

“Peeta?”

When he hummed, she leaned in to kiss him. They had one more night in their shared hotel room. Katniss decided to take full advantage of it, and it didn’t take long before Peeta let her know how enthusiastically he agreed with her plan. Maybe they couldn’t fix what was between them, but it couldn’t hurt to try.

#hutchhitched #katnissdoesnotfollowback #prompt 77 #Springtime Edition 2021 #submission

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