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wielderofmysteries · 1 year

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Self-Made Man: Jace Beleren and Representation for Transgender Men in MTG

INTRO:

A few days before I started writing this, I received a message on Tumblr asking me to talk about my personal interpretation of Jace Beleren as a trans man. Not an unusual request, since Jace Beleren is my favorite character and I mention that I think he's trans all the time. I thought my response would be easy to write, but I started typing and couldn't stop. I realized I couldn't keep it short and simple. My thoughts grew into something much bigger, and much more meaningful to me. (Word count: ~9260)

In this post, I'll explore my analysis of Jace Beleren as a transgender man, why I think it enriches Jace as a character, and how it relates to the topic of transgender representation in Magic.

Disclaimer 1: As far as I know, WOTC and the authors who wrote Jace's lore did not originally set out with the intention of portraying a transgender character in Jace. Everything I'm presenting as evidence that Jace is trans is just part of my analysis. The purpose of this post is not to prove that Jace was always intended to be trans, but to show how my personal interpretation of Jace as a trans man is inspired by and supported by the text.

Disclaimer 2: All transgender people are different and have unique lives and feelings and experiences, so the things I say in this post won't apply to every single trans person. The examples I give here are mainly based on my own experience, as well as those of other trans men I know personally.

(General content warning for discussions of bullying and transphobia.)

PART 1: ORIGINS

There's an inherent transness about Jace Beleren.

Insecurity is one of Jace's most visible and defining traits. From Origins to Ixalan, his long-term character arc is all about his struggle to let go of his insecurities in order to become a better version of himself. There are parallels to the experiences of transgender men in the way those insecurities came about, how he expresses them, and how he eventually overcomes them.

It's easy to see why Jace would be insecure. As a telepath, he can hear all the negative thoughts other people have about him.

=========

Sure enough, there was his father, sitting at the kitchen table, frowning. Gav Beleren, grubby and balding, regarded Jace with little more than weariness.

I wish he was normal.

His father’s thoughts traced a familiar path.

[Jace's Origin: Absent Minds - Kelly Digges]

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Lack-witted idiot.

A big lug shoved past him from behind.

Jace couldn’t help but agree with the sentiment.

I swear, that Beleren kid…

[Jace's Origin: Absent Minds - Kelly Digges]

=========

There’s the freak.

The biting thought was the only warning Jace got.

He scrambled to his feet and spun, but he was too late. Three of his schoolmates stood between him and the access hatch.

[Jace's Origin: Absent Minds - Kelly Digges]

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Jace's own father, despite caring for his son and wanting a better life for him, felt little warmth for him. He wished Jace were "normal" and often became frustrated with him. Jace was a victim of brutal bullying that started in early childhood and continued all through his school years. Even complete strangers disliked Jace, and they made it known.

It was difficult for Jace to tell which thoughts were or weren't his own. Jace's constant awareness of others disliking him caused him to internalize that negativity, and as a result, he developed a sense of insecurity at an early age.

Jace's insecurity manifests as self-hatred, feelings of inadequacy, and discomfort in his body and physical appearance. I think his insecurities manifested in these specific ways because one of his most significant personal struggles was gender dysphoria. In an R&D video about Jace's story in Origins, Kelly Digges spoke about Jace's insecurity, and unintentionally gave the most transgender-sounding response possible.

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"Not everybody likes Jace. They see the arrogant self-assured kid wearing the hoodie, and something about that doesn't sit well with them. But I think you've got to have sympathy for the guy. I mean, imagine being a teenager with all the awkwardness that comes with that, and actually knowing that the person behind you thinks your hair looks stupid! You'd put on a hood too!"

[Kelly Digges - Magic: The Gathering - Inside R&D Magic Origins: Jace]

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The thing is, I don't have to imagine that situation. That was literally my lived experience as a trans teenager.

I had known I was trans since I was very little, but I didn't decide to start living life as an openly transgender boy until I was 13 years old– right before I started high school. The day before my freshman orientation, my mom took me to a hair salon and I asked the stylist to give me a typical boy's haircut. My hair was waist-length, and the stylist was shocked that a 'girl' could ask her to cut off that much hair. She was scared to ruin my appearance by making me "look like a boy" (even though that's exactly what I wanted.)

My freshman photo was the ugliest school picture I've ever taken. My friends jokingly called me 'Gohan' (from Dragon Ball Z). I started wearing jackets with my hood up, even though I never liked to before, and I wore hats despite it being against the school dress code. I knew other people thought my hair looked stupid, and I knew this without having telepathic abilities like Jace.

But my troubles didn't start with that haircut. Long before I started openly living as a boy, I was told I was a 'tomboy' and that I didn't act like other little girls did. Even in early childhood, I was very aware of the fact that some people hated me for who I was and how I expressed myself. I was just like Jace in that way– knowing who was judging me; knowing they didn't respect me; and knowing that in their eyes I was ugly, a weirdo, or worse.

I had always known I was different, and Jace had always known he was different, too. But it's not for the reason you would think. People mistreated Jace long before anyone knew or even began to suspect his true nature as a telepath. Nobody knew Jace was a mage, but everyone knew something was weird about him. There was something outwardly unusual about Jace that people noticed and thought was strange and undesirable.

Something interesting I noticed while re-reading Jace's origin story is that he appears to be wearing girls' clothing in the art. He and the girl, Jill, are both wearing the same long tunic / dress and shawl; while the two other boys are wearing vests and tucked-in shirts.

I know that wasn't necessarily the intention with this art, but it got me thinking about other aspects of Jace's origin story that just felt trans to me.

Interestingly, nobody in Jace's origin story actually calls him "Jace" except for his mother, the only person who truly loved and accepted him for who he was; and Alhammarret, another telepath and therefore the only person who could see Jace the way Jace saw himself. Everyone else refers to him as "Beleren" or "that Beleren kid" or "freak". His own dad doesn't call him anything at all.

It reminded me of the way my family never got into the habit of calling me my chosen name, even after I came out. They would call me my childhood nickname, "BooBoo", to avoid saying my chosen name or my birth name. To them, I was boyish enough it was weird to call me a girl's name, but not loved or respected enough to be called what I wanted.

Being a trans teenager is hard. It's hard to control your style when you're dependent on your parents to buy clothing. It's hard to control your identity when other people constantly call you the wrong name. And it's pretty much impossible to control your body.

Puberty is a source of insecurity for all teenagers, but it's the ultimate hell for trans teenagers. When the effects of hormones become visible and you see how your body has changed compared to your peers, the difference can be emotionally devastating.

While puberty made me wider and heavier; my male friends, who were going through the other puberty, got taller and more muscular. They got bigger and stronger every year while I was doomed to stay 5'0 (152cm) forever. It felt like I could never catch up– they looked the way I wanted to without even trying. Sure, I could pass for a boy, but they were going to grow up to be men. It infuriated me.

Similarly, Jace's lack of stereotypically masculine physical characteristics was a major source of self-hatred.

=========

“Hey, Beleren,” said the largest of the three, his booming voice overpowering the wind. His name was Tuck. At fourteen, he was a year older than Jace, a head taller, and built like a loading dock.

[Jace's Origin: Absent Minds - Kelly Digges]

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How small he looked, hanging desperately above the crackling stream of mana. How vulnerable he looked. He hated it.

[Jace's Origin: Absent Minds - Kelly Digges]

=========

Jace's male peers are described as being significantly taller and more muscular than him. This difference in size and strength made it easy for other boys to bully and physically abuse Jace, which caused him to associate their masculinity with the power they held over him. In Jace's mind, being a victim meant he was weak, and being weak meant he was less of a man. Hating yourself for things you can't control is extraordinarily painful.

When Jace discovered his true nature as a telepath, he realized it was the one way he held power over others. He tried to feel tougher and more masculine by emulating the way his bullies demonstrated their power over him– through intimidation, cruelty, and threats of violence.

=========

He looked Tuck in the eyes. “And if you harm my family, I’ll take your mind apart, one squalid little memory at a time.”

Tuck flinched.

[Jace's Origin: Absent Minds - Kelly Digges]

=========

Having grown up without any positive male role models in his life, Jace's idea of masculinity was primarily influenced by the mistreatment he endured. He simply imitated what he saw and he didn't have the emotional support or life experience needed to grow out of that mindset.

As a young trans man reading Jace's origin story, I found the way he resented his bullies and retaliated against them to be very relatable. It's scary how easily gender dysphoria can turn into toxic masculinity. When you need to try a million times harder than your cisgender peers to be acknowledged as a man, taking masculinity to a harmful extreme can seem like the logical thing to do, especially if you're a younger trans man.

Despite expressing myself exactly the same as any other little boy would (wearing the same clothes, liking the same cartoons, playing the same sports), I was bullied by both kids and adults for daring to think I could be a boy. Once, when I was 8 years old, I stepped up to bat for my Little League baseball team. When the announcer said my feminine name and everyone noticed the long hair sticking out from underneath my helmet, the opposing team's volunteer coaches (the fathers of kids my age!) shouted from their dugout: "There's no way they'll win! They have a girl on their team!" Their players laughed and cheered in response.

That absolutely broke me. Their words taught me that being myself wasn't enough. And if being the same as other boys wasn't enough, then I needed to be more than them. I intentionally became a bully. Picking every fight I could was my way of proving I was more masculine than people thought.

Intentional toxic masculinity in pursuit of gender-affirmation is a very common experience for young trans men. Jace and my younger self acted the way we did because we were trying to mask our insecurity. We wanted to kill the weakness we saw in ourselves, so we lashed out in an attempt to feel stronger than the people who hurt us.

Starting middle school let me get away from most of the people who bullied me. It was the fresh start I needed to stop being such a terror. But a clean slate wouldn't prove to be so helpful for young Jace.

PART 2: PLANESWALKER

At age 15, Jace's Planeswalker spark ignited. He arrived on Ravnica with no memories of his life on Vryn.

In theory, Jace's amnesia would have allowed him to start becoming the person he wanted to be, but he couldn't begin to heal because the scars on his subconscious mind were immediately opened. Being lost and alone made Jace feel vulnerable– the feeling he hated most.

=========

Came out of nowhere. Some poor Izzet experimental subject, probably.

He scrambled to his feet. People were staring at him. He looked as bad as he felt, sweaty and pale and filthy. He pulled his scarf up around his face and dashed to the side of the road.

I’m not an experimental subject. I’m…I’m…

I’m in trouble.

Fine. Table that.

He walked as fast as he could without seeming to hurry. He reached out, carefully, into the minds around him. It was a cacophony, a mad tangle of voices, and half of them weren’t even human.

Vagrant. Thief. Poor kid. Wretch.

His headache was getting worse.

[Jace's Origin: Absent Minds - Kelly Digges]

=========

On Ravnica, Jace had no idea where he was or who he was, and he was suddenly surrounded by more people than he'd ever been near before. After losing the ability to control his telepathy, he was overwhelmed with their thoughts. He didn't know any of the people around him, but he knew they thought he was strange and pitiful.

When Jace noticed people staring at him, he hid his face with his scarf and ran away from them. Jace's first instinctual concern was not that he was possibly in danger, but that people were perceiving him in a way that made him feel embarrassed about himself. Even without memories of being bullied, a part of Jace's mind was still constantly worried about his appearance.

Jace's anxiety in public reminded me of the extreme paranoia I suffered from as a trans teenager. Being seen and perceived was so unbearable to me that I went to extremes to avoid people. I'd stay home or hide whenever possible, and sometimes I became so anxious I would literally run away if I noticed someone looking at me. I've gotten a lot better in the past few years, but I still worry when I'm out in public. I often notice strangers staring at me, and I hate knowing when people are questioning my gender. In certain situations, I'm even worried that someone might hurt me if they notice I'm trans. When you're trans and you've been bullied, just being perceived is dangerous.

That initial experience on Ravnica did instant damage to his self esteem. Jace's discomfort in his body and physical appearance was such a pressing issue that he immediately sought gender-affirming body modifications.

=========

The Jace in front of her was pathetically young.

[...]

The teenage Jace seated in the chair had the look about him of someone who wanted to disappear and wish someone more imposing into his place. His outfit was disheveled, the cut of it unfamiliar. Vraska sensed in the fabric of the memory that this version of Jace had arrived in Ravnica for the first time only days before.

The Gruul shaman's hand was glowing brilliant white. "This your first?" he grunted.

It took Jace a moment too long to answer. "Yes," he said timidly.

Vraska couldn't help but smile at this memory. He was the wimpiest teenager she had ever seen—no wonder he wanted a cool tattoo.

[...]

The shaman leaned over the teenager and drew a line with his finger down Jace's cheek, leaving a brilliant white tattoo in its place. He continued on his chin and arm, and Vraska watched as the shaman diligently painted a braver face on the nervous teenager's own.

[The Flood - Alison Luhrs]

=========

Tattoos probably aren't the first thing that comes to mind when you think of gender-affirming body modifications, but that was the purpose they served for Jace. Getting tattoos made him feel braver and more grown up, and they made him look cooler and more intimidating to others. All of these were stereotypically masculine traits he desired in the way he presented himself.

In addition to the way they changed him outwardly, Jace's tattoos were a personal declaration of his identity. His tattoos were drawn from one of the few things he could remember after arriving on Ravnica: a set of mysterious shapes and symbols. He didn't know what meaning they held, if any at all, but he decided that they were important to him because they were his.The decision to have them permanently inked on his skin gave him a sense of control and ownership over his body and appearance, which is one of the most important aspects of forming an identity as a trans person.

In his young adult years on Ravnica, Jace made a living as a criminal extorting the rich and famous. For the first time in his life, he could afford to choose his own wardrobe instead of depending on a guardian to provide clothes for him. Jace used this opportunity to exercise more control over his appearance, having clothing designed and tailored specifically to his desires.

The patterns Jace had tattooed on his body would be incorporated into his signature blue cloak. Jace's cloak is the most iconic element of his visual design, and it's important to this interpretation of his character because it's his dysphoria hoodie.

A dysphoria hoodie is a hooded clothing item intended to relieve gender dysphoria by obscuring the shape of a person's body. They're oversized, loose, and usually black or another dark color. Wearing a dysphoria hoodie hides a person's body from others' judging eyes, and allows them to forget about the parts of their body that they don't like.

It's undeniable that Jace's cloak fits this description perfectly.

Jace was extremely attached to his blue cloak. It didn't matter how hot the weather was, or how dirty or damaged his cloak had gotten– he always wore it anyway. And judging by the fact that he canonically had numerous duplicates made, he didn't want to ever stop wearing it. The ability to look and feel mysterious was very comforting to him.

Jace tried to hide his insecurities for as long as he could, but as he grew into adulthood, his problems would grow and change with him.

The novel Agents of Artifice follows Jace's life on Ravnica from ages 19 to 22. Growing up meant the gender role Jace desired to fill evolved from 'boy' to 'man', but Jace had no positive male role models or examples in this formative time.

As Jace's employer and teacher, Tezzeret forced him to use his powers for violence by psychologically abusing him. Tezzeret had an explosive temper and brutally tortured Jace when he failed assignments or hesitated to comply.

Jace's best friend / partner, Kallist Rhoka, showed a sense of entitlement after the two met Liliana Vess. Kallist felt like Liliana owed him attention and sex, despite the fact that she wasn't interested in him because she was already dating Jace.

=========

“You’re a hypocrite, Jace. It’s fine. My own fault, really. I should’ve known better than to take you at your word, when it came to getting something you wanted—the one thing I might’ve found to make this damned place a little better!”

“She was never yours!” Jace shot to his feet, fists clenched. “Never!”

“Because you wouldn’t give us the chance!” Kallist shot back. “It’s not enough that you took away everything I had?”

“Took away … Damn it, Kallist, I saved your life!”

[Agents of Artifice - Ari Marmell]

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Kallist wasn't the only man who felt this way. Throughout the book, several complete strangers made it clear that they thought Jace was inferior and undeserving of Liliana's affection, and that Liliana should be with them instead. Other men openly insulted Jace because they didn't see him as a "real man".

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“I couldn’t help but notice,” he slurred in a voice heavy with beer, “that you finally sent your scrawny friend packing. That mean you interested in spending some time with a real man?”

[Agents of Artifice - Ari Marmell]

=========

At that point in his life, Jace was still surrounded by men who had very toxic expressions of masculinity, but unlike his teenage self, he had no desire to imitate them. Jace feared and resisted Tezzeret's violent teachings, he disapproved of Kallist's misogyny towards Liliana, and he avoided confrontation with the random strangers who threatened him.

I think Jace's distaste for their attitudes and behaviors shows that his insecurity is truly gender dysphoria and not just toxic masculinity. If Jace disapproved of their toxic masculinity and didn't want to express himself that way, why would he care if he wasn't a "real man" to them? Why did he still feel incomplete as a man? What does being a man mean to Jace Beleren?

Jace wanted to do all the things typically expected of adult men. He wanted to be self-reliant, to be a protector and leader to others. He made himself a protector and financial provider to his romantic partners. He wanted to protect Ravnica and accepted his duty as the Living Guildpact when the role was magically forced upon him. He worked with the Gatewatch to defend other planes and invited them to live in his home. Despite all his efforts, nobody seemed to see that Jace was trying his best.

One of the most common difficulties trans men experience is being infantilized because they're perceived as younger. Trans men often look younger than their cisgender male peers of the same age due to the difference in hormones. Less testosterone means trans men tend to be shorter, less muscular, and have less body hair (not accounting for individual genetic factors).

When trans men lack stereotypically masculine physical characteristics, especially those associated with age and maturity, such as facial hair, they don't get treated with the same respect as other men. (For example, adult trans men are often referred to as 'boys' no matter how old they actually are.)

When Jace's appearance is described in stories, his lack of stereotypically masculine physical characteristics is always noted. He's always described as being smaller and less muscular than other men, and it's repeatedly remarked upon that he's unable to grow a beard.

=========

Rulan was clad much like Jace himself, though he preferred deep reds and purples to Jace’s unrelenting blue and black. And unlike Jace, Rulan boasted a full, tidily trimmed beard.

[Agents of Artifice - Ari Marmell]

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She cast a critical eye up and down his form. Firm, fit, alert, hair combed. She mentally called bull on it. "You can drop the glamour, dear. No one cares."

He sighed, and shimmered as his illusion dropped. There was the real Jace; paler, hair rumpled, eyes sunken from late nights, and his chin tinted by the adorable peach fuzz that almost counted as a someday-maybe beard.

[Homesick - Chris L'Etoile]

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The text shows that Jace experienced infantilization as a trans man. His sparse facial hair is enough to visibly darken his face, but it's referred to as "adorable peach fuzz" rather than a more mature-sounding alternative. In the story Catching Up, Liliana tells Jace that him looking older is "an unambiguous compliment."

=========

"You look older," she said.

"I'm not sure how to take that."

"At your age, dear, it's an unambiguous compliment." She cocked her head. "Have you started combing your hair?"

He smoothed his hair self-consciously, just for a moment, then withdrew his hand. He had, in fact, started combing it. Not that his hair was any of her business. He scowled.

[Catching Up - Kelly Digges]

=========

This aspect of Jace's trans experience caused him to be disrespected in several areas of his adult life. As an adult navigating dating and relationships, people saw him as unattractive and less desirable. As the Living Guildpact, people saw him as unqualified and irresponsible. As a member of the Gatewatch, people saw him as weak and incapable of leadership. Because he was infantilized as a trans man, he was perceived as inherently less masculine, less competent, and less mature. This negative perception reinforced his feelings of inadequacy.

For this reason, Jace was more self-conscious about his appearance as an adult than he'd ever been as a youth. In order for people to treat him with more respect, Jace found it necessary to hide his body with his cloak and to change his appearance with illusions. Jace felt the need to 'pass', and thought being himself was unsatisfactory, especially after he met Gideon.

Meeting Gideon was a major turning point in Jace's emotional development as a trans man.

Gideon was a great example of stereotypical but positive masculinity. He was self-reliant but not afraid to ask for help. He was a leader but tried to uplift others. He fought as a defender, not an aggressor.

Jace saw Gideon as an upstanding person and a good friend. For the first time in his life, Jace had a positive male role model to look up to. It made him furious.

=========

"I'd rather stand," said Gideon.

Jace stood up. It was an error. He still had to crane his neck to look Gideon in the eye, and now the size difference between them was glaringly obvious. He hated feeling small. Hated it.

[Catching Up - Kelly Digges]

=========

Gideon made Jace feel hopelessly insecure about himself.

He was everything Jace wanted to be, and seemed to be perfect in all the ways Jace wasn't. Gideon was super tall while Jace was average height. Gideon was athletic and muscular while Jace was thin and out-of-shape. Gideon was charismatic and a natural leader while people tended to automatically distrust Jace.

Jace both admired and envied Gideon. He tried his best to emulate Gideon's positive qualities, but found it difficult because it was clear to himself and others that it didn't come naturally to him. Jace's presence just didn't inspire others or make them feel safe like Gideon's presence did.

=========

What would Gideon say?

Jace smiled. Of course.

"For Zendikar," he said, raising one fist in the air. It felt thin to him, lacking Gideon's armored fist, his baritone war cry, his iron conviction.

[Brink of Extinction - Kelly Digges]

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"Vanity?" she said. "That's not like you."

He raked a hand back through his hair, which did nothing to calm its random angles. "I should be at my best for team meetings. Project leadership. Confidence. The idea that I know what the hell I'm doing. And why am I telling you this?" He looked annoyed at himself.

She raised one ivory shoulder in a careless shrug. "Who else knows you well enough to understand?"

[Homesick - Chris L'Etoile]

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Seeing the differences between himself and Gideon aggravated his gender dysphoria and reinforced all the manifestations of his insecurity– self-hatred, feelings of inadequacy, and discomfort in his body and physical appearance.

In his time with the Gatewatch, Jace's vision of masculinity had changed to be much more positive, but he was still miserable because he kept measuring his self-worth against an ideal he couldn't seem to reach.

This stage in socially transitioning is emotionally difficult for trans people. It takes time and effort to overcome.

PART 3: CASTAWAY

At age 26, after the Gatewatch's defeat on Amonkhet, Jace involuntarily planeswalked to Ixalan. He awoke on a tropical island with no recollection of who he was or where he came from.

For the second time in his life, Jace had complete amnesia. Just like when he sparked at age 15, his insecurities lingered despite being unable to remember what caused them. He hallucinated illusions of people from his past life, and his subconscious mind projected his insecurities through them.

=========

"You've really done it this time, haven't you?"

This vision appeared whenever the man was struggling at a task.

His shoulders were broad, and his olive skin had a sheen of sweat underneath the shine of his armor. The hallucination was looking over the man's shoulder as he tried to carve a fishing hook.

"Listen, you aren't really suited to this task. Let me handle it." The vision's voice was gruff but friendly.

It came off as condescending.

The man was annoyed.

"I can do it myself."

The hallucination sighed. "You and I both know you're not suited to this. Let me handle it, you go philosophize on the other end of the beach."

"I said I can do it myself." The man let his irritation reach his voice.

"No, you can't. I call the shots and execute, you stand to the side. That's how this works."

The man responded by throwing his hook at the hallucination. It went straight through the figure's eye and landed behind him on the sand.

[Jace, Alone - Alison Luhrs]

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An illusion of Gideon represented Jace's frustration due to low confidence in his skills and abilities. No one ever seemed to think Jace was good enough. His intellect, social skills, and physical dexterity were all constantly questioned throughout his entire life. As a result, Jace never got the chance to prove to the people around him what he was truly capable of.

On Useless Island, Jace was utterly alone and could rely only on himself. Jace succeeded in teaching himself to hunt, fish, and build in order to survive. He was not inept at stereotypically masculine tasks, as people had believed him to be. Over time, he grew a thick beard and gained a significant amount of muscle mass.

=========

"You look terrible," purred a voice from above.

The man moved his hands. An illusion of a woman stood above him. She had raven hair, tired eyes, and a disdainful expression. Her arms were gloved in violet satin and crossed in front of her.

"The muscles are a nice change, but you look awful with facial hair." Her lips curled in a disdainful sneer.

The man shook his head, tears building in the corner of his eyes.

"I don't know who you are."

"Of course you don't, boy."

She looked him over. "You didn't know who I was then, and you don't now. Hard to build trust when neither of us trusts each other."

The man decided to stop caring that this illusion wasn't real. He desperately needed someone to talk to.

"Who was I, before here?"

"You weren't who you thought you were, that's for sure. No one else saw through you, but I did. You were never a leader or a detective or a scholar; you were a frightened child playing pretend."

The man swallowed a lump in his throat.

"You can fool the rest of the world with your magic and illusions, but you could never fool me."

The man wanted to sob. Wanted to go back and sleep. Wanted to starve until all of this went away.

[Jace, Alone - Alison Luhrs]

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An illusion of Liliana represented Jace's gender dysphoria and impostor syndrome.

Despite everything he had achieved so far on Useless Island, his subconscious mind still held feelings of self-doubt. Part of Jace's mind wondered whether or not he was ever truly suited to being a man, telling himself he "looks terrible" and "awful with facial hair". Again, Jace's maturity and experience are denied when the illusion infantilizes him by calling him a "boy" and "a frightened child playing pretend". This vision was an expression of Jace's fear that he was inherently unfit for masculinity and the roles he wanted to fill as a man.

Unlike the first time Jace had amnesia, though, there were no real people around to reinforce his insecurities. Being alone meant Jace had no one to compare himself to. This gave him the opportunity to truly have faith in himself. Rather than trying to copy someone else's example of masculinity, he was creating his own.

=========

The man opened his eyes, and saw a vision of himself standing on top of the water in front of him.

The image had a blank expression on its face, but was otherwise identical to the man himself, standing calmly—impossibly—on the surface of the water.

The man's jaw fell open in shock.

The illusion appeared solid as flesh, and its detail was astonishingly accurate. The man was amused he did not remember his name but remembered the exact details of his own body: muscles toned, stubble on its face, blistered sunburn on its bare shoulders. He even saw its scars—his scars—the little bookmarks of a life well-lived.

[Jace, Alone - Alison Luhrs]

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All the effort he had taken to change himself showed outwardly on his body, and it was very gender-affirming. He was happy to see his muscles and facial hair and sunburn. I don't know how else to say this, but Jace being proud of "his scars" just has super transgender connotations. When Jace saw his scars, he appreciated them as proof of his ability to change and adapt– proof of his survival.

One of the most meaningful and symbolic moments in Jace's story is his decision to leave Useless Island. He built a raft and sailed away, uncertain of his future but determined and unafraid. Among the items he packed for his journey was his old blue cloak, unaware of the meaning it previously held for him. Jace encountered a storm soon after leaving, and all the items he brought with him were lost or destroyed, including his cloak. But he wasn't upset. He didn't miss it. To the Jace of Useless Island, it was nothing more than a piece of fabric. The Jace of Useless Island was comfortable in his body, and had no need for a dysphoria hoodie to hide from himself or anyone else. By letting his cloak be destroyed, Jace let go of his insecurities.

Vraska found Jace washed up on a rocky island and accepted him into her pirate crew. Jace was eager to help, using his tinkering ability to fix telescopes and compasses. He also used his illusion magic to make The Belligerent invisible during a raid, and even fought vampires with the crew.

People need to have loved ones in their lives who make them feel accepted and respected. It's absolutely critical for a person's emotional health, and especially for trans people, whose close support networks are often insufficiently small or entirely absent. When you feel ashamed of yourself because you're constantly being criticized, when you live in fear of the world around you because you're hated, it's difficult even to simply exist. Having just one person who truly makes you feel safe makes a world of difference.

This is why it was so important that Vraska, the only person on Ixalan who knew Jace before his amnesia, didn't judge him based on his past. She didn't try to tell Jace who he used to be or who he should be. The crew of The Belligerent allowed Jace to be himself, and they cared about the qualities he had, not the ones he lacked. This key difference in how people treated Jace on Ixalan is what allowed him to thrive.

In The Flood, Jace fell down a waterfall and hit his head on a rock. The injury triggered a reversal of his amnesia. After Jace got his memories back, he reflected on the difference between his past and present selves.

=========

"I wouldn't have had the strength to climb this a year ago," Jace said with a little bit of pride. "Or if I did, I probably would have passed out halfway up."

"You weren't that out of shape when I last saw you," Vraska teased.

"You're ignoring how often I used to use illusions to make myself look like I was in shape."

Her brows shot up. "Seriously?"

"Oh yeah," Jace acknowledged. His expression was unguarded, eyes still red from emotion, a lighthearted tilt to his lips. Unapologetically human. He grinned. "I used to be a coward."

He let Not anymore hang unspoken in the air between them, and Vraska caught his smile as he turned to ascend the golden staircase toward Orazca, one strong step after another.

[The Flood - Alison Luhrs]

=========

The old Jace was always being compared to others. That Jace hated himself because he could only see himself as an inferior version of other men. He wanted to hide because he felt like he would never be enough. He wanted to be anyone but Jace.

The new Jace unlearned that mindset. He realized the only 'right' way to be a man was to try to be the best Jace he could be. Having room to improve meant he had the opportunity to find joy in growing and changing. He was proud of himself for taking control of his identity and putting in all the effort necessary to transition. On Ixalan, Jace cultivated the strongest body he ever had. That new body made him braver and more confident than ever before. And that new confidence made him happier than he'd ever felt in his entire life.

The resolution of Jace's arc came from his transition. All his life, Jace had wanted people to understand and accept his true self. For people to see his true self, he needed to be able to show them. Jace was able to start healing from his trauma on Ixalan because for the first time in his life, he felt like it was safe and good to be himself, so he lost his fear of judgment and embarrassment. Through that acceptance, he learned to be himself, and to love himself, and to love his transness. On Ixalan, Jace finally became the man he wanted to be.

=========

Jace looked down at himself.

The tan was real. The scrapes, the newly callused hands, the muscles (the muscles!) were all his. Jace felt proud of his body for the first time in his life. He must not lose track of it now.

[Wool Over the Eyes - Alison Luhrs]

=========

PART 4: DEEP BLUE

Jace being a transgender man is not just a headcanon to me. It's a textual interpretation that I believe adds meaning to the story and enriches Jace as a character.

My interpretation of Jace as a trans man is rooted in the way his personal philosophy guides him as a Blue character.

Blue's central theme is "Perfection through knowledge." Blue sees the world and everything in it as a blank slate waiting to be transformed. With the right knowledge, all possibilities can become reality. Jace's expression of "Perfection through knowledge" is his journey to become a better person by understanding himself.

=========

Jace chose his words carefully.

"Existence is adaptation to changing circumstances. The self is an accumulation of what one has learned from those changing circumstances . . . Our agency gives us the means to alter our own path. You are who you decide to be. And who you will become depends only on how you choose to adapt."

[Something Else Entirely - Alison Luhrs]

=========

Jace's personal philosophy as a Blue character is "You are who you choose to be''. He believes that people are defined by the choices they make with their free will, and rejects the idea that the self has immutable qualities. To Jace, there is no pre-determined path or destiny for him to follow. Rather, he continually seeks to cultivate his own identity through change.

In my interpretation of Jace as a trans man, Jace holds these beliefs because they're lessons he's had to learn in order to overcome his struggles and accept himself.

As a Blue character, Jace's core struggle is his desire to understand himself. Jace's life has been a constant quest to figure out who he is. Above all, Jace's thirst for knowledge is a need to understand his potential and his place in the Multiverse.

=========

Jace.

My name is Jace Beleren.

So there was something in there, waiting for him to dig it out.

And who is Jace Beleren? Is he a good man? Is he kind?

He willed away the shape and sat, alone, farther from home than he’d even known was possible.

He’d have to wait and see.

[Jace's Origin: Absent Minds - Kelly Digges]

=========

Having lost so much of his life to amnesia, Jace has often been unsure of who he is or who he should be.

I've always seen the divide in Jace's life caused by his amnesia as a parallel to the 'before' and 'after' periods in my life as a trans person.

When I decided to start openly living as a trans boy in high school, it was like I was being haunted by my own ghost. I didn't know who I was or how to act anymore because everyone around me seemed to see and speak to a version of myself that no longer existed. But I hadn't died, I was just different. I wanted people to see that I was alive and well. I wanted to make myself feel real again.

Like Jace, I was a teenage boy with no past. I needed to rebuild myself, and I had to start from scratch. I wasn't sure what to do with myself, but the one thing I was sure of was that I couldn't look back. I didn't want to. And neither did Jace.

Jace is known for his love of investigation, puzzles, and research, but his past seems to be the one thing he's not curious about. While he does occasionally wonder what his life used to be like, he's never shown a desire to return to that past. He's never put any time or energy into re-discovering old memories or trying to restore some previous state.

When Jace asks himself, "Who am I?", he's not asking who he was before. He's asking who he can be. What matters to Jace is not who you were, but who you can become.

The past is unimportant to Jace, and this belief gives him strength. He expressed this on Ixalan when he vowed the illusions of his past would no longer bother him.

=========

"No more involuntary illusions!" he said, and something in the back of his mind rung with magical affirmation. It would not happen again.

He had control over his mind. He was the wielder of his talents.

[...]

Then a thought occurred to the man.

"Who I was doesn't matter . . . because I get to learn who I am now."

Saying it out loud made it feel real.

"Whoever I was is irrelevant, for I will become whoever I want to become."

He believed that with all his heart.

The man realized what he must do.

He was going to prove to himself that he deserved to live.

The man got to work.

[Jace, Alone - Alison Luhrs]

=========

Jace understood that in order to progress, he had to keep moving forward. Letting go of the past is what allowed Jace to live in the present and to have hope for his future.

This aspect of Jace's philosophy is also an important aspect of trans acceptance. Many trans people struggle with making the decision to transition because they fear it's too late. They may feel that way because of their age, because of their circumstances in life, or because other people will remember them differently. But Jace believes that the person you were yesterday doesn't have to be the person you are today, or will be tomorrow. When you understand this, you understand that it is never too late for anyone to change.

It's in our nature as thinking, feeling beings to want to explore and discover new things about ourselves, but transphobes want us to repress our curiosity. My whole life, I've had to fight back against people who disrespect my identity and want me to submit to their idea of who I should be. Jace shares this experience.

=========

Baan regarded him coolly. "You were bullied as a child."

Jace coughed on his first mouthful of food and struggled to swallow. "I, uh, don't remember my childhood." A dozen unvoiced thoughts flickered behind his eyes.

The Kaladeshi raised his brows. "One need not consciously recollect an event to fall into habitual behaviors determined by the experience. It is not inconceivable that one could forget their entire life. I would safely wager that were that the case, the subject would still tend to make similar lapses of judgement, and would be drawn to associate with the same sorts of people." He waved a hand, the swish of an ox's tail dismissing flies. "The nature of mortals is not so malleable as some would naively suppose. A person of religious inclination will always find something greater than themselves to place their faith in. A criminal will forever remain a criminal."

Jace put his fork down. "That's a very...deterministic point of view, Minister."

[Homesick - Chris L'Etoile]

=========

Dovin Baan expressed beliefs about identity and human nature similar to those of the transphobes I've dealt with. People like them think, "You were born a certain way and you will always be that way. You will never be anything else. No matter what you do, you can never truly change."

But Jace lives in defiance of that idea. Jace knows he's capable of change because he actively chose to become someone new. What he once was, he no longer is. Jace's disagreement with Dovin Baan isn't just a difference in opinion; it's a defense of his existence. When transphobes deny our identities, they deny our reality.

If Dovin believes our identities are set in stone, Jace believes we each hold a sculptor's tools. Whether or not you will change is your choice. But you alone have the power to make that choice, and no one can take that away from you.

=========

She sighed. "I don't know how the Golgari will see me when I return."

Jace shrugged. "You get to decide how they see you."

She looked at him with uncertainty. Jace continued. "How we engage with the world is dependent on how we present ourselves to it. We are continuously adjusting to change because if we fail to change, we fail to survive. By nature of you surviving the hell you did, you have changed into someone wiser than before. By nature of you commanding this ship, you've transformed yourself into the leader you always knew you could be.

"What makes you you isn't your circumstance or your past, but the choices you make in the future. Your ability to learn and adapt is what makes you who you are today, and that is what dictates who you will continue to become."

[Something Else Entirely - Alison Luhrs]

=========

Jace's focus on adaptation and self-improvement reminds me of the theory of gender euphoria; the idea that gender identity is defined by positive feelings and what feels right to a person, not negative feelings and what feels wrong (gender dysphoria). You can't be happy if you only focus on things that cause you discomfort and pain. You need to find things that give you comfort and bring joy to your life.

As a teenager, Jace hated himself for his weakness. He felt like being tough would make him more masculine. But when he grew up and gained more life experience and new role models, he realized that was no longer what he wanted. It may take some time to figure out what you want, and you may even find that what you want will change, but the end goal will always be to become the best version of you.

This process of trial-and-error is integral to Jace's philosophy.

We ourselves must constantly change in order to survive in an ever-changing world. Jace believes we are defined by the lessons we choose to absorb from these experiences. Every time you change, you have the opportunity to learn something new about yourself. You have the opportunity to see how you've become stronger and see what inspires you to live. That is adaptation. That is growth.

Even if you feel like you're not where you want to be yet, in Jace's eyes, you have already proven your identity just by choosing to walk that path. You can't just wish to love yourself. You have to choose to see yourself as someone worthy of love.

Jace wants us to see and appreciate ourselves for who we are and who we want to be, not what we aren't. You're a glass half full, not a glass half empty. Your potential is infinite, not wasted. If you learn to see yourself this way, it's easier to be a happier, more authentic self.

Jace's philosophy is what makes his character development a beautifully resonant trans story worthy of being true trans representation in my eyes.

=========

In that moment, Jace noticed a change within himself. The Jace of Zendikar and Innistrad and Ravnica had a nervous energy about him, persistently bored and disastrously introspective, constantly aware of the chasm of absent memory that was always on his mind's horizon. The Jace without a past was present, alert, comfortable no matter the circumstance and ready to face whatever might come his way. He remembered what it was like to be both, but recognized how much more natural it was to be the latter. In the span of a moment, Jace was surprised at himself, and then realized his earnestness of late, of Ixalan, was not manufactured, nor was his mindfulness something he could only access in a state of amnesia. That was who he had always been. He had just forgotten.

[Glimpse the Far Side of the Sun - Alison Luhrs]

=========

PART 5: REPRESENTATION FOR TRANS MEN IN MAGIC

If that all seems like an excessive amount of explaining for why I believe Jace is trans, that's because it is.

My interpretation of Jace as a trans man means so much to me because there is no actual representation for trans men in Magic. Which is, frankly, really wack.

In 2015, Magic's first ever transgender character, a trans woman named Alesha, was introduced in the beloved Khans of Tarkir story, "The Truth of Names."

In 2018, a nonbinary elf Legend named Hallar was printed in Dominaria.

In 2020, a nonbinary human Legend named Alharu was printed in Commander Legends.

The introduction of trans characters in Magic really ramped up in 2021. Kaldheim introduced an angel who uses Xe/Xer pronouns in the story Know Which Way the Wind Blows; as well as Niko Aris, Magic's first nonbinary Planeswalker. Strixhaven introduced Dean Nassari of Prismari College, a nonbinary efreet Legend. And Strixhaven: A Curriculum of Chaos, the set's accompanying Dungeons & Dragons book, introduced a nonbinary loxodon NPC named Bhedum 'Rampart' Soovij, and a human NPC named Nora Ann Wu, a transgender girl who counsels other transgender students at Strixhaven. The Innistrad: Midnight Hunt story His Eyes, All of Them featured an elderly transgender woman named Malynn.

Early 2022 saw the printing of another nonbinary character, an elf chef named Rocco, in Streets of New Capenna. And a nonbinary soldier named Myrel was printed in The Brothers' War.

Seven years after the introduction of Alesha, Magic acknowledged that trans men exist for the first time ever in May 2022, when the 'Pride Across the Multiverse' Secret Lair Drop was announced, just a few days after I began writing this article.

This Secret Lair Drop had eight cards featuring art, all by LGBTQ+ artists, that showcase the strength of the LGBTQ+ community in the Magic Multiverse. This celebration of diversity was beautiful, heartwarming, and inspiring in its entirety. Notably, it also featured two trans men in its art. In the new art for "Bearscape'', one of the men is depicted with scars from top surgery (gender-affirming surgery to flatten his chest). And in the new art for "Alesha, Who Smiles at Death", Alesha reaches out to support a young transgender man wearing a chest binder.

As a transgender man myself, I'd been waiting forever to see representation for trans men in Magic. I was happy… and then I wasn't. Two nameless transgender men with no lore appearing in the art for a Secret Lair Drop is just not meaningful representation.

The first named trans man to ever appear on a Magic card was Klement, a tiefling introduced in the summer 2022 set, Alchemy Horizons: Baldur's Gate. Don't get me wrong, I like Klement a lot– he's a very cute character and I'm glad he exists. But it's frustrating that he doesn't even exist in the Magic Multiverse because he's a Baldur's Gate character, and you can't actually own a real Klement card because he's a digital Alchemy card exclusive to Magic Arena.

Now that we're in early 2023, Magic is set to have been around for 30 years without ever featuring a named trans man character on a printed card or in a story.

Trans men have remained painfully invisible in popular media, even as the mainstream has gotten a lot better about representing a wide variety of people in the past few years. Magic in particular has done a very good job of increasing representation for marginalized groups. Magic clearly isn't afraid of including trans characters, which is why the lack of representation for trans men is so disappointing and so baffling to me.

Not having any representation for trans men in Magic hurts because meaningful representation for marginalized groups helps tremendously to promote inclusion in the community. Magic has a wonderful community and I feel like its members genuinely try to welcome all kinds of people, but others can't learn to become more accepting of you if they don't even know you exist.

When people talk about making the community welcoming for people of marginalized genders, trans men are often forgotten and left out of the conversation. When I see people discussing matters of marginalized genders in the community, they don't acknowledge that trans men are just as affected by gender discrimination as other marginalized genders. And I often see people (even other trans people) use the phrase "women and nonbinary" when talking about creating safe community spaces, seemingly not realizing that phrase categorically excludes trans men.

If the intention is to be inclusive, I don't know why we'd be excluded. It hurts to think that people say these things because they either don't know we exist or actually don't want to be friends with us.

I'm genuinely glad I've seen so many other trans people and allies connect with each other through the Magic fandom. But it's sad to not feel that same sense of solidarity and friendship. When I talk with other trans men in the Magic fandom, we're often lamenting the fact that there are no canon characters or prominent Magic creators / community members who are trans men. We have nothing to celebrate.

I think Magic's story and characters should reflect its diverse fanbase. The trans men in the Magic community deserve to have our stories told. Not only so others will understand our struggles, but so they can learn to share our joy. I want to show others who I am, and that I'm happy to be me.

Jace's character shows that people are receptive to these stories, and that in some cases, we have secretly been there all along. I'm just hoping for the day we can step proudly into the spotlight.

#MTG #jace beleren #gwunky #analysis

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k-germsworld · 8 months

Text

Karaoke

Eunha x M!Reader

Blowjob!

1.8k words

This is the first story I write when I start. So maybe the story is rough and not good enough. However, I will keep release my fantasy. So, Enjoy 😃

Hongdae is a place where Gen Z likes to go. Hongdae is a place that never sleeps. There are a variety of shops to visit like cinema, cafe, food and many more. However, there is one shop that opened very far from a crowded place but the shop is still full of customers. Many people know what the shop is, including me.

Once I reached Hongdae, I went straight to the shop but the shop was so crowded. The waiter asked all the customers to form a line and wait patiently. The line has form but the queue is too long, I can't even see the end of the line. I reached the shop by 9 pm but I already thought today was not my day to visit this shop. Luckily, the timing for queueing is short. I wait for 30mins only and my chance is getting closer. I see many people go in happily but come out angrily or sadly. I smile slyly and know they will come out like this for sure. Since my first time is also like this and this is the third time I visit.

"Sir, your turn now, enjoy," the waiter says happily. I forgot about the other then I stepped into the shop. The other waiter brings me to the counter and starts to explain the pricelist, the hostess list, and all the rules & regulations. Their price is based on the hour you sing. The starting price is 10000 won per hour.

Rules & regulation

Maximum 3 hrs per session. After 3hrs had reached you must leave.

If you pay by song, you must leave after your song ends.

If you order a hostess, then you are invited to join our karaoke challenge. The challenge is easy. You can ask for the counter to get further information.

Our shop has its scoring system. If you hit a specific score, you will get a special reward.

Score 71-80, 50% discount Score 81-90, get a second blowjob Score 91-99, Can fuck the hostess within 3hrs. Score 100, 100% discount, and can take out the hostess

After a long and boring explanation, they let me choose the hostess. They are full of hostess names and their price.

Sxwxn 30000 won

Yexxn 30000 won

Exxha 30000 won

Yxjx 30000 won

Sxxb 30000 won

Umxx 30000won

Others 20000won

I already come here for the third time and spent a lot of money to try to win. I used to choose Eunha as my partner. Of course, I will also choose her as my partner this time even though she is expensive but who cares? As long as I can hit to score 100 then everything is worth it.

Once I booked the hostess and made the payment, the waiter brought me to the room. I sat calmly and waited for her. 'Knock knock ', a girl opened the door and walked in. Eunha is wearing a black lace short lingerie with a black coat. The lingerie makes her body is more tight and hotter. At the top u can see the lingerie pushed her boobs looks bigger; at the bottom, you can see the panties can't even hide her camel toe. Just by seeing her sexy body, my cock already rocks hard. Her body part for me is a fantastic view. Her face is cute while talking to me, but she makes a seductive expression when giving you a handjob.

Eunha says no more and asks me to order a song and start the challenge. I ordered a song called " Pull Up ". This song is short and I had already trained so much for this song. I had scored 100 more than once in another karaoke room. So I have the confidence that this time I can score 100 when she gives me a handjob.

Eunha pulls off my pants and starts giving me a handjob while the intro just starts. My cock is already hard just by seeing her. She smirks at seeing this situation because she doesn't need to make my cock harder.

Starting, I sing the song perfectly. Once Eunha starts to stroke my cock, I feel like I am gonna fail again this time. Her hands are so cold compared to my heated cock. Her handjob is the best in this shop so she confidently stroked my cock at the slow pace from the head to the balls, then move opposite.

Her cold hand gave me a different excitement. I got a handjob from her three times but I can feel that every time is so different. I can hear my voice shaking, but I still can sing to the beat. Eunha hears my shaky voice but still can sing well so she stands up and comes closer to my ear. She dirty talk to me unexpectedly, " Oppa, do you wanna taste my pussy? Or you wanna grab my tits and slap my ass? Do you have the confidence to score 100, and take me out or fuck me here the whole night? " Even though she is saying dirty words, her voice is so sexy and sweet.

Her dirty words made my voice more shaky. My singing went off, I couldn't even hit the chord now. My singing voice is mixing with my moaning. As the song ends soon, Eunha stroked my cock faster and keep saying " cum for me!! " I almost reached my limit, but I will hold it till the end.

"Pull up… Pull up "

Finally, the song ends. However, Eunha also successfully makes me cum. I cum a lot on her hand. Luckily, the song ended faster than me cumming. The jukebox is entered into the calculating page. My heartbeat is beating faster as the score is calculated. Eunha cleaned her hand aside and saw the result together.

"Congratulations, you hit an 85 score! "

The system shows this sentence. I felt down when I saw the score but I felt a little happy at the same time. My record last time is below 70 so the only thing I get from Eunha is a handjob. I can finally get a different award this time from her. Eunha also congrats me on hitting 70 or above.

Eunha pulled me to the seat and kneeled between my legs. Her eyes are lustfully seeing my cock. She gets closer to my cock and smell my cummed dick. "It's smelly…. but I like it. " She used her hand and stroked again my cock to make it harder. My cock is fully erected now. She blew to my cock making my cock twitch. Eunha happily sees how my cock is twitching. After that, she stuck out her tongue and played with my cockhead. She licks from my head to the bottom then licks backwards from the bottom to my head. She treats my cock is like her toy. After several times of foreplay, my cock now is full of her saliva. She contentedly put my cock inside her mouth. She slowly swallowed my cock from the top, then the middle, then the bottom. My cock is like disappeared in her mouth. She starts moving her head up and down, her hands are playing with my balls. Her blowjob skill brings me to heaven. I becoming a moan mess just because of her blowjob. Suddenly, Eunha stopped her move and I was curious why she stopped. Before I say that, I saw her eyes hinting to me she wanna a face fuck. So, I stood up and aimed my cock to her mouth. She still kneeling and waiting for my cock.

I slowly put it into her mouth, her mouth is like a black hole. The space in her mouth is unlimited. Even if I put my whole length to her mouth, I can see no suffering from her face. I move my hips back and forth at a slow pace. After a few thrusts, I pulled out my cock from her mouth. I see my cock is drooling with her saliva. Eunha is so horny for my cock now, she is sticking out her tongue and letting her saliva dripping to the floor. Her face is so slutty and horny. Her lustful face brought my horniness to the max. I quickly insert back my cock and deep down her mouth but this time at a faster pace. I can feel her throat quivering every time I deep thrust her mouth. The normal face fuck now cannot vent my horniness, so I decided to choke her. I push my cock deep into her mouth until I can feel her throat, then I stop there and let her almost out of breath. Her struggle makes me more aroused. Her face became more struggle and patted my leg asking me to let her breathe.

I quickly pulled out my cock, seeing her finding breath and I let her rest awhile. After finding back her breath, me using my fastest speed to fuck her face this time. I holding her head as support to fuck faster. I don't care about Eunha's feelings, I just fucking her mouth like her pussy. She can't keep up with my speed so her saliva keeps dripping from her mouth.

I feel my limit is soon. I should hold for more time but her mouth is so warm and wet now making my load almost burst out. I pressed her head tight and let me cum inside her mouth. I shoot every drop of my cum inside Eunha's mouth and make sure not even one drop left her mouth. However, my cum is a large amount this time until she can't fit in anymore so she spit out some.

After every drop is inside her mouth, I pull out my cock and see how messy she is. The semen she spits out just now drops to her tits and some stick to her lips and jaw but she still keeps many cum inside her mouth. I feel so tired by just cumming one time and find a place to sit down. Eunha crawled to my side and opened her mouth wider, letting me see how much I cum inside her mouth. I am thinking she will spit out my cum after showing me but she using her tongue to play with my cum. She made my thick cum full of bubbles then swallow it. "It's tasty!"

Then, she cleans the leftover cum on her tits and jaw with her hand and put it in her mouth like drinking sauce. When I saw her slutty move, she made my cummed twice cock harder again. She notices it and says " Sorry oppa…. You can't have it anymore. These are the rules ." She smirks.

After she was done, Eunha thanked me for the thick cum and left the room. She left me alone in the room. I am not very satisfied with my performance today. However, I already broke my last record since I didn't get any service the last two times. I believe that I will hold it for her handjob and score 100 in the future. So I can let Eunha become my sex slave and cum on her every hole that night.

#gfriend smut #gfriend eunha smut #viviz smut #viviz eunha smut #eunha smut #jung eunbi smut

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infamous-if · 9 months

Note

Does it ever feel overwhelming or scary how fast/early you blew up? I’ve always wanted to write if but i already get anxious with like 200 likes on an intro post or like 200 followers so I can’t imagine waking up one day so “famous” (as famous as you can be as an if author).

I don't like to think about it because my writing would suffer, but there are IFs author that are much bigger than me and handle this whole social media aspect with much more grace. I am just a small fish in a big pond, and definitely the last person to come to for advice haha

My anxiety only spikes whenever I release something, mostly because I convince myself that the inevitable "everyone realizes it's terrible and points and laughs at me" has come (that's just my brain talking).

I think my best advice for you to let go of that anxiety and to set your expectations early. First and foremost, write for yourself, and try to embrace the fact that no one can write your story better than you. As creatives, we all have something to offer that no one else can, and that's just our personal touch that comes from who we are as people.

Yeah, someone could take my plot and characters and probably write something that would put Shakespeare to shame, but they can never write it the way I can. Nor can I ever write your story the way you can, or anyone else.

Even the infamous fanfics that I see are something I can't write, because I'm not them. I don't have their unique perspective that enhances their skill and writing. They write their stories better than anyone, even if they are using characters I created.

Or at least, that's how I approach storytelling and writing. We all have something unique to offer because we are all unique people, so you just have to think: you will find your audience. And you will find people who will like your stories and the numbers won't matter because you'll be proud of what you're putting out.

I know the numbers are scary, because you are no longer in your own bubble and everything you say and do and write will be perceived differently by people, so establishing your goals and your story and what you want to do in the beginning is always the best. It's very easy to succumb to the pressure of people asking for things and asking for changes, especially in the beginning since we want to please our first official audience but it's not worth it if you're not writing what you want. This first and foremost should be fun for you :) or then it'll feel like a chore.

If you do, I would love to read and play your IF! <3

#writing advice #inbox #I probably rambled #but I thought about this a lot #as I was gaining followers and realized this was becoming an actual Thing that I began to take much more seriously and was enjoying #^^ hope this helps you

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snakeeyesdraws · 9 months

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Overly Analyzing the Super Mario 3D World story intro

So I've been playing Super Mario 3D World a lot, and since I haven't seen many people talk about the opening cutscene, I wanted to do that since it contains a lot of very cute animations!

This will kinda be a scene by scene analysis with me just pointing out things I like, but if you'd like to see the full cutscene in better quality than my screenshots, you can watch it here!

The scene starts off with all of the main playable characters going for a walk under a starry sky filled with fireworks. I know blue/yellow Toads have been staples of Mario games now, since they colour code the main characters and Mario is obviously red, but its does delight me that Blue Toad is just invited on this little walk with them.

(Also if you listen closely, you can hear Mario say "Ah Princess, what a beautiful evening!" and I thought that was cute)

Their walk is interrupted by Toad noticing something offscreen, and they run ahead to see a broken pipe in the middle of the path! Mario and Luigi closely examine it, and then we get...

ACTUAL PLUMBING FROM THE SUPER MARIO BROS!

Real talk, the more the series goes on the less relevant their status as plumbers often becomes, so anything that references it or shows them actually using their plumbing skills makes me so happy. And their tools are colour coordinated!

A bunch of power ups and the green Sprixie Princess pop out, and we get some classic 2d artwork, which I absolutely adore. More of this in every 3d game, please.

The ground and pipe start rumbling, and this is where I really wanna focus on the character animation of the main four here. All four of them start looking around for the source of the tremors, and we see both Peach and Luigi lifting their hands up, Luigi looking more anxious.

Bowser suddenly pops out of the pipe and roars, startling all four main characters. We can see very different reactions from all of them.

Toad and Peach jump before covering their ears, very clearly intimidated by Bowser's roar.

Luigi is the only one to fall over completely from Bowser's appearance. He stays on the ground and holds one hand up in front of his face, flinching when Bowser roars. Dude is clearly terrified by Bowser.

Mario does jump in surprise when Bowser pops up, but he's the only one who doesn't cower when Bowser roars. Instead, he immediately gets into a confrontational pose, with one hand held out protectively towards Peach. This isn't his first time dealing with Bowser, obviously, and his instincts are to prepare for a fight and to protect Peach.

However, Bowser's target this time isn't Peach, but instead the green Sprixie Princess. A lot of people poke fun at the set up for this game - "if Princess Peach isn't in danger, why do any of them care?" - but I always like when Mario & Luigi and the others try to rescue others simply because it's the right thing to do.

Bowser turns to glare at Peach and Mario, taunting them to react. Peach and Mario are both upset by the capture of the Sprixie Princess, but neither react too strongly to Bowser. Both of them have interacted with him enough to know what he's like.

Conversely, both Luigi and Blue Toad react much more when Bowser turns to them. Blue Toad stumbles onto one foot, while Luigi cowers back further, keeping his hand raised defensively, which seems to be a common mannerism of his when he's frightened. Bowser seems to be grinning a bit more in this pose, as if he knows he can get a bigger reaction out of these two.

When Bowser disappears down the pipe, all four of them regain their bearings and jump back up, reaching out for the green Sprixie Princess.

Peach is the first one to rush forward to the pipe. She sort of flounders on the edge of the pipe before she slips down it - yeah, I don't think she had a game plan there outside of trying to rescue the green Sprixie Princess. But proactive Peach being included on the adventure is always a win!

Before Luigi even lands his startled jump, Mario is already rushing forward to follow Peach down the pipe, and Toad is right behind him. I'd say it's out of mostly courage on Mario's end, and mostly out of loyalty to the princess on Toad's.

Then we get to my favourite animation of this scene (can you tell I'm biased?)

While Mario and Toad follow Peach down the pipe, Luigi pulls himself together and slaps his cheeks twice to hype himself up. It's one of my favourite quirks for characters to do, and it's doubly endearing on characters who are timid in nature. Luigi was arguably the most started and scared by Bowser's appearance, but he knows he has to do something! Totally adopting this as a common mannerism of his

Luigi then follows the others down the pipe, and they travel to the first world of the game, bringing the opening cutscene to a close.

Fun fact; since I've only ever played this game solo, and since I main Luigi, I assumed that his animation of landing on his stomach outside of the pipe was unique to him, since he's established as quite clumsy.

But in 4 player mode, you can see all of them coming out of the pipe together, and Mario lands on his stomach too. Just thought that was a cute detail.

So that's the opening cutscene of Super Mario 3D World! It's not terribly complex, but I've always adored it for showcasing a lot of personality with the main characters, and since I didn't really see any discussions on it, I wanted to highlight it!

I do recommend you watch the cutscene since a lot of the nuances and details can't be shown in screenshots - or better yet, play the game yourself! It's a ton of fun ^^

#snake talks #Super Mario #Super Mario 3d world #smb #mario #super mario bros #woke up with the urge to info dump about this game so. here we are #this was fun too do!! I might do more of these :]#just as a character animator I really care about and love small details like this #this cutscene isnt long but it tells so much about the characters and its very cute

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shoot-the-oneshot · 2 years

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Enemies to Lovers

Mick Schumacher x Senna reader F1 Romance trope Masterlist It was so hard writing Mick as anything but a sweetheart but i think it turned out great let me know what you think!

Next part lance stroll marriage of convenience

“A rivalry we thought we’d never see again folks, once again Schumacher vs Senna on the formula 1 circuit.” You toned out the anouncers voice coming from everyone’s phone you passed with in three miles of the track, it was common for them to point out the renewed rivals ever since you got to F1 following your fathers foot steps it’s always been the headline. Not that you cared it was true after all.

The Emilia race always head tension for you and Schumacher, being where your father crashed, and media was all over it. Getting you both together for interviews ratings always spiked this time during the season for drama alone.

“Senna.”

“Mick.” Taking the spot next to him in front of the camera not bothering to look at him. He scoffed, “Didn’t know we were on a first name basis now Y/N” you shook your head in disagreement, “We aren’t, once you start driving like a Schumacher i’ll call you one.” You saw his shoulders puff up out of the corner of your eye.

“We’re here today with the Daughter of Aryton Senna and the son of Michael Schumacher the two greats back on track fighting for the chance to win.” You snicker at their intro speaking only loud enough for Mick to hear.

“I’m fighting to win you’re fighting to just get in the points.” Mick snarled gearing up for his own comment but the interviewer Sarah, finishing her intro innturupted him.

“So we are all excited for this race, but what are you two looking forward to most.” She nodded to the Hass driver to start who took the chance to clap back.

“Can’t wait to beat this one.” Nodding his head towards you that easy smile he uses to fool everyone into thinking he’s a sweetheart sliding across his face, sure as if. Laughing giving him a sympathetic pat on his arm. “Oh Mick they don’t have a place after last.”

“Bite me.” Growling through clenched teeth still pulled into a smile to save appearances. “Not even with your teeth.”

“Okay,” Sarah dragged out her words at your back and forth, flipping for another question.

“Y/n, you have been at the top of the standings since the first race of the season Leclerc a whole ninety points behind you how does it feel to be this close to a championship win?” Finally a good question.

“It feels incredible, this year with McLaren has felt amazing the car just clicks with me and we are all very excited to be a contender this year.” And it was true after your first year with Aston Martin then getting to McLaren the next it felt right you could feel it in your bones this was your year.

Sarah smiled satisfied with your answer then turned to your fellow driver. “Mick its been a rough start with you earning no points in your F1 career, but how are you and your team feeling about this upcoming race?” Mick shrugged and you could tell that talks of you getting this close to a championship bugged him. “Well we are working on the car I’m sure it would be easier to get points if my name opened doors to bigger teams.”

You laughed out loud at the supposed burn. “Oh Mick my last name doesn’t steer the car, and it doesn’t get you a better seat as you’re a prime example of.” By now you and Mick were in a stare down, interview be dammed.

“YYYY/NNNNN SSSEEEENNNAAAA!!!” You broke the glare to see your teammate Daniel shout your name, his smile easing your anger. He saw the tension rising and made the decision to separate you both. Daniel smiled over your shoulder to Sarah telling her some bull story about Zak needing you, but she bought it not one to outrank a principal.

You turned to Mick giving probably the fakest smile. “See ya when i lap you” he nodded clinching his jaw, blue eyes turning into daggers. “Go fuck yourself”

Dan started pulling you away but you shouted back over your shoulder.

“I’ll think of you when i do!” Throwing a finger wave in for extra effect. Successfully stunning Mick to silence. Y/n 1-0 Mick.

You walked away with your head held high glad to have gotten the last word while Dan stumbeld behind, “That was an interesting come back. Since when are you into mini Schu?” He spoke his brows practically in his hair line.

“Uh never! It was just to make him uncomfortable.” Appalled he would even consider you having any feeling other than hate for the Hass driver.

“Oh i definitely think his race suit is more uncomfortable now.” His statement made you stop in your track. “No way.” “Yes way.” Dan laughed. “You didnt see how he looked at you when you turned around.” He hummed and you both carried on walking.

“With distaste more than likely.” You scoffed.

“I think you’re just his taste actually.” He suddenly stopped grabbing your shoulders positioning you to look at the huge pictures of you and Mick side by side advertising the rivals.

“Look how cute you guys look together.” He cooed, laying his head on your shoulder, which you quickly shrugged off.

“Just saying the line between love and hate is very thin.” The space between his pintched fingers was minimal emphasizing his point, making you roll your eyes. The rest of the day was boring and you just wanted to get back to your hotel room and get ready for qualifying tomorrow.

you were already running late having slept through the first two alarms you set. You were distracted by tying your boots and hopping down the hallway at the same time, you didn’t have a chance to see who was in the elevator before the doors shut trapping you together.

“Senna.”

“Mickey.” You sighed knowing who’s voice that belonged to without having to turn around. “There’s no one else here you can drop the attitude without ruining your image.” Did he just sass you? You spun around about to give him a piece of your mind when the lights flickered, making you both freeze. The elevator jurked to a stop making you fall backwards into Micks chest.

His arms wrapped around your waist instinctively, holding you tight against him. “Uh Senna?” “Yeah?” You breathed out. You felt Micks breathing against your back the steady rise and fall distracting you along with Daniels words from yesterday.

“I think it’s safe now.” He softy spoke squeezing your hips making you jump out of his grasp and fix your shirt trying to appear unbothered. Mick smirked at you behind your back as he pressed the help button. Which gave an automated voice saying they will get to it as soon as possible, making both your spirits drop.

“Well get comfortable.” He said leaning against the wall across from you, sitting on the floor. You mimicked him redoing your hair into a messy bun on top of your head, holding the bill of your hat between you teeth, you breath involuntary caught in your throat as Mick leaned closer gently pulling your hat out from between your lips, holding it for you. With that sweet aggravating look of his.

“That’s not very lady like.” He teased, Dodging your hand that went to snatch your hat back. He leaned back tracing the logo and your number sewn on. He hated to admit it but it was kinda cool. “I’m a race car driver I’m not lady like.” You grumbled trying to reach for it again, falling and catching yourself before you fell on top of him, ending up nose to nose, were his eyes always that blue or was it lack of oxygen.

“Clearly.” He agreed, placing a hat on your head, Snapping you out of it. “Why does your hat say Y/n?” He asked confusing you, does he really not know. “It’s my name genius.” He rolled his eyes, “i know that by why not Senna.” His question made you pause, were you both actually having a civil conversation and were you going to allow it.

“When Aston signed me they only called my Senna, but McLaren let me step out of my fathers shadow a bit and make my own name for myself not just my last name. I’m sure you understand.” Mick wasn’t expecting that much of an honest answer from you, he was waiting for you to tell him to mind his business, then a lightbulb went off in his head. “Wait, is that why you don’t call me Schumacher?”

You shrugged finding the loose string of your shirt very interesting. It was much easier being around him when you were bickering. Mick couldn’t believe it, what he thought was you disrespecting him was actually you being kind to him and being the only person not to connect his driving to his fathers, were you just defending yourself when he snapped back? he didn’t know how to feel.

“Now i feel like an ass for Calling you Senna.”

“Oh i definitely think you’re an ass.” You teased your cocky smile back on your face. There’s the Y/n he knew. Your escape wasn’t long after that and you practically sprinted to the track not noticing the hat on your head wasn’t yours at all and he had switched it with his Hass hat until the paparazzi posted the photo of you running and Mick smugly wearing your McLaren hat behind you, with the headline. ‘Rivals to lovers?’

You made pole position in the race a sweet victory for your team, you were laid in your room after media, typing away on YouTube like you always did for background noise, how you got onto Hass YouTube page you’ll ignore but you didnt notice it until a knock on your door sounded.

“There’s our future champion, woah do you have a boy over?!” Daniel sang, when you opened the door, your brows furrowed not realizing he could hear the tv. At the chance to embarrass you he pushed passed you expecting some Frenchman in your room coming up empty, then he saw what you were watching.

Raising his eyebrows he slowly spun to face you. “Oh, what a turn of events this is.”

“I dont know what you mean i didnt put it on!” You defended turning the tv off. “Sure you didnt.” He scoffed throwing the Hass hat on your bed from your dresser. “Means nothing.”

At his look you knew you had to explain. “We got trapped in the elevator he switched our hats that’s it.” He nodded along not believing a word. “And you talked to him?” “Words were probably exchanged.” You shrugged, Daniel was loving this, having already gotten the details from Vettel. The two drivers were your biggest shippers. Seb knowing how big of a crush Mick had on you from when you first joined F1, and Dan just loved the drama.

Just as he was about to tease you more your phone dinged. Making Dans eyes light up. “Is that him!” He squealed. “No.” You scoffed sighing when you looked at the screen dropping your arms to your side.

“It is him you’re blushing!” He gasped like a school girl. “It’s hot in here!” You denied but did feel butterflies at the congratulations text. “I want y’all’s kid named after me.”

Somehow you and Mick became friends carpooling from the hotels to track, interviews together now being about racing not just your names. The next race weekend you even had a Hass care package in your room from Mick saying his hat was your good luck charm. You won that race too, much to his amusement and he even scored in the points. The media loved the video of him spinning you around both covered in champagne.

The kiss you shared after your home win outed you both plus the photographs of you and Micks family on summer break did as well, his sister posting on social media a photo of a tense chess match between you and her brother with the caption ‘rivals on and off the track’ made the fans lose their minds.

Now seated next to each other during a press conference the other drivers teasing you seeing the heart eyes you both shared between questions. “Question for Y/n, with both you and Mick, having big names in F1 who’s name would you take if you get married?”

“Mine.” “Mine” you and Mick answered simultaneously. Making the room laugh. Mick who tried to seem serious, looked at you. “What about when we have kids they would have my name.” He laughed. And you shrugged playing along.

“Technically one already has Daniels name.” Making his eyes widen. And Daniel fall to the floor from somewhere behind the reporters. “Excuse me!”

“How about whoever has the most championships by the time we have kids that’s the name they get.” You offered knowing you were one race away from winning your first. Making Mick shake his head fondly at your antics. You humor and teasing that used to drive him up the wall now was his favorite thing about you, he loved it.

“Deal.”

That press conference ended up having the highest views in history because there’s only one thing people and Daniel and Seb loved more that rivals and it’s the story of enemies to lovers.

Next up. Lance stroll as marriage of convenience

Hope you guys liked it the first of the F1 romance tropes down more to come if youd like to be added to my F1 tag list please let me know!!!

F1 tag list. Note I only have one tag list it’s to hard to separate them by driver so if you’d like to be removed please send me a message . @starxqt @motylekrozi @yeolsbubbles @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mooone90 @damianodavidhands @zig-zzag @its-astrotea-love @peakywitch @obsessed-fan-alert @lenniebordeaux @marelovesf1 @capela-miranda @enjoymyloves @amsofftrack @coffeehurricanes @ricsaigaslec

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alphaketoglutaricacid · 10 days

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Namari is the first of laios old party that gets reintroduced into the story before dungeon meshi really shows it's hand about the bigger themes it wants to tackle. Theres a lot of sneaky setup during her two chapters. Lets talk about her!

Dungeon meshi starts out as kind of a straight forward fun dungeon adventure amoungst adventurers and friends. Namari notably, throws a wrench in this perception while maintaining that lighthearted tone--notably, through introducing the fact Laios is a weak leader. Namari was in the party since the start. She was clearly in a bad situation at the time where adventuring was her only option bc she didnt have enough money to even get off the island. Despite that, she stayed in the party despite the fact she needs money bc she liked the comraderie. Sad that she felt like she had to choose between getting out of debt or having ppl she could be honest to.

All three party members who left did not have their needs properly met. Falin let her life be dictated by laios and marcille and was too passive to try to make choices for herself. She ends up getting eaten trying to save them + then puppetted around by thistle as a result of marcilles attempt (sucess) at reviving her (+ ends up starving the whole time) . I think shuro got kidnapped into laios party and then steamrolled over bc hes just so bad at saying no + also seemed to have never chosen anything for himself in his lyfe.

Theres a clear parallel between laios lack of attention towards these threes needs and his lack of attention that he was hungry at the fight.

Laios treated his like a group of friends going out adventuring without any regard to the needs of the group. Yeah, you could say they couldve told him, but as a leader its kinda ur job to actively keep tabs on this. And Namari really exemplifies this bc she really is in dire straits, her joining the party was out of desparation, and her need for money was getting ignored for years. That she even brought this up to the siblings and they still went on a dangerous expedition and didn't take missions aimed at making money is kinda like.. wow......

It takes a near death experience for her to realize she has really got to go actually achieve her goals —but crucially I feel if laios took more jobs to make money, she wouldnt have left at that crucial moment. I think theres an argument to be made that shuro probs wouldnt have left if namari didnt bc hes a passivity king and may have been more willing to get his retainers to work w laios party if they didnt both mutually agree laios wasnt cut out to lead the party to try to rescue falin. Which I dont think is an unfair assessment of his skills at the time.

Like he is well intentioned and doesnt mean anything bad by it but theres a limit to the amount of carelessness you can have as a leader. Later on, shuros going to have similar complaints and hes going to be much less nice abt it.

Anyways, i think its interesting the party namari aligns herself w afterwards is the right hand man of the lord of the island, awfully close to the occupation her father held before he disapeared after getting caught for money laundering. In her intro, she keeps her guard up from mr tansu and the party bc shes jaded about either having to accept a job for money or to be friends w her new party. I think this may be partially bc she let herself get dragged around for too long in laios party bc she had a soft spot for em. But after sharing a meal , having laios affirm his trust in her, and actively communicating w mr tansu shes able to get both the money she needs to climb outta debt and a good working relationship w the tansus and the twins by clarifying specifically how she feels. I think tansus a bit suspicious bc he thinks shes just in for the money and disregards her feelings as a result. I think theres a bit of an undertone that the way he treats her like a human shield reminds her of how she was cleaning up her fathers messes all the time as a kid.

Crucially, I think this is the turning point for how she acts bc she has so much love to give to the world! She needed to have this basic need taken care of before she oculd help other people. She goes down to the morgue to check for falin. She agrees to help kabru after hearing his motives w utaya even tho theres nothing in it for her. Shes the one who reaches her hand up to support him when he almost gets trampled by the adventurers in the dungeon.

I think seeing ppl help him without asking anything in return helped kabru be more open towards other, which leads to him throwing his lot w laios despite all his doubts.

Doesnt rat out laios party under the threat of interregation tho also it seemed shuro was just 🤐 abt it. She tells tansu shes headed down w shuros retainers to rescue him when he gets kicked like a football into the dungeon - also a nice bit of character development that she clearly wants to help laios w the water spirit and only goes w tansus permission, but here she takes the initiative and tells him she'll report if she sees anything funny. Crucially she throws her lot against the elves, who are the closest to power at great risk to herself. (tho lowkey she may lose her livelihood if the elves take over so there may be a bit of self interest there + her patron is in charge of some of it).

constantly asking shuro for his input bc she knows hes shy

able to support marcille when shes in tears after losing her dream falin and laios despite feeling awkward towards her (kinda interesting parallel w how shuro feels hes bad w laios

For the two of em, think laios failed them as their leader, so they leave. And afterwards, their relationship improves bc they can truely dedicate themselves to what they want from him as their friends--running a legendary sabatoge against the elf cops so he doesnt go to jail!!!

I think theres something to the fact shes the one shown being eaten by the lion when time stops. Then also the one in the mana realm happy that she’d never have to struggle or hunger again. Her whole life seemed to be cleaning up her fathers messes, getting cast out for her fathers messes, just a constant struggle w the dwarves not seeing her as someone worth being in their community and drifting around without a place to belong. Even tho she found ppl now it doesnt change what happened w her. It's sad. But she also accepts she has to go back and face the future.

her love for music and dance is interesting- how like something communal that draws others in spontaneously is something she feels close to

also interesting is her interactions w other races--seems like she primarily interacted w dwarves for the first few years of her life, w just tenous connections to people of other races and it was getting so suddenly ejected that got her there. No coincidence that shes the one who goes in between the orcs and elves towards the finale to go hey we are on the same side. Also not a coincidence she gets along so well w the twins who were abandoned by their families and taken in by gnomes but also always feeling a little out of place in that community.

Tansu clearly stand in for her dad : ( her mom walked out when she was young : ( honestly im really happy she gets a family of a sort w them.

Im also glad she still has her own interest in weaponry and design even tho its tainted w her fathers actions

Her friendship w shuro is so fun. You wouldn't expect them to get along so well bc they seem so different on the surface and namaris blunt in a way that ud think be offputting to shuro and he kinda indirect in a way that would piss her off but theyre very often on the same wavelength.

da warriors bond...no words are needed i think they might be using telepathy. once u get below the surface they have a lot in common.

family issues so severe it managed to creep onto a thrid person thats not their parent

pretty pragmatic ppl at their core (eg. shuros less mad about ancient magic being wrong and more that theyre gonna go to jail for 10000 years before chimera falin apears, his gripe about eating monsters seems more being about youll get food poisening that way etc. namari placing herself close to power in her new party, her insistance on getting paid, checkin the morgue for falin,when things get too complicated she focuses on what she can do now).

seemed to have suffered pretty badly under laios leadership

both seem to be treated as outcasts on the island, namari despite growing up there , shuro for being a forienger even tho 4/6 ppl on his party are foreign

theres interesting contrasts w her replacement senshi, in the way theyre both outcasts in the dwarven community and the way their family/partys legacies weigh heavily for them. but i ran out of steam

shes good at keeping ppl grounded and has a good inventory of ppls strengths. of the three ppl who left the party, i think she has the best potential to be a good leader at the start.

shes pretty linked to the community of adventurers as a whole but (u guessed it) i ran out of steam

I think a lot of her role in the story parallels w the theme that u need careful boundaries and consideration of other ppls needs to be an effective leader, something chilchuck hits upon a lot. but also you need to take care of your own needs first (senshis running theme) and be able to take good inventory of your desires to face the future (izutsumis running theme)

#Dungeon meshi spoilers #namari #every day on this blog i just rant abt something random.... got bless

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dogmasks · 1 year

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[ID: a blurred photograph of a black cat with white mittens and throad running on grass, which is illuminated by setting sun. behind it is a text written in an old-school white serif font that reads: writeblr (re)introduction. /end ID]

𓇢 WHO

haiii. i'm Quail. or Hearth. or Meloe. any pronouns / 19 / spirit with a fox clay head / impact crater in the shape of a zoomorph / huh whuh

this is a reintroduction only in technicalities, because even though i made an intro for writeblr, i did absolutely nothing. fortunately i've since graduated hs, so now i can actually do stuff 👍🏽 yay!

𓇢 WHAT

i've been drawing and painting for longer than i've been writing, so this blog is a general basket of all things i create. my bigger writing projects are mostly worldbuilding-heavy fantasy, and these motherfuckes do take their time to develop. i also dabble in poetry-writing and short stories, which i do post here. usually. sometimes .

my recurring themes are an insight in culture, its artefacts and cultural dynamics, the human condition and how to navigate it, grief and love (intristically tied), the little rituals of everyday life that keep us together, gender, and post-colonialism.

𓇢 WHICH

i currently have two that are not on the backburner! if you're interested in others, i am inviting you to look at my desktop WIP page ^__^

CHAOS THEORY 🏗 ⚖ is a webcomic in works with a few novella / short story off-shoots. 𓇢 on a continent wherein the human has married the machine not so soon after she began her discovery of the surrounding world now grows a tumor of a nautical empire, slowly digesting the land alive with its dreams of Carbon and asciension to the higher self. a group of workers inside the so-called Furnaces decide to up the stakes, causing a strike aiming at the root, which might either swallow them whole... or who knows. ━━━━━━━

TEGUMENT 🧿🐟 is... it's own thing. a narrative with drawings and stories written in-between. set in a cassette-futuristic world and centers on insanily codependent lesbians who want to reach godhood as one, while also dealing with a growth spurt of fake idols and a growing gap between their identities.

𓇢 WHERE — miscellany

this is a sideblog: i interact from @burialcloth! i also have a substack where i will either crosspost things i post here, or my essays. we'll see: in all honesty, i should just polish (taki żarcik) my CSS + HTML skills and finally code that fucking neocities site i have. i love being tagged in things, dmed / sent asks :-) and if you'd perhaps like to be on a taglist for any of my projects just hit me up 'n i'll see you around u__o

#now's the time for putting this thing in the tags and be perceived fuuuuck.#writeblr #writeblr introduction #writeblr reintro #writeblr intro

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cienie-isengardu · 7 months

Note

Would you go into detail about any ideas you have with Scorpion!Kuai Laing and how it could have been handled better

Sure, the best way to handle it would be to let Hanzo Hasashi be the Scorpion and Kuai Liang the cryomancer as they were destined to be because at this point it seems the game didn’t just switched the ice for fire power of his but are robbing both Hanzo and Kuai Liang at the same time: Hanzo, because he was stripped again from his family (and I’m saying it fully wishing to see Harumi as her own character in future games) and sidelined for obscure reference in certain endings and intro dialogues (if lucky, maybe he will introduced in next game) while Kuai Liang is turned into someone he was not - and yes, I always saw him as aro-ace character who himself said to not have time for socializing and was a single for three decades and doing fine with his life but now is thrown into marriage with Harumi who was originally Hanzo’s wife and all the romantic nonsense he did not bothered, seek or care much before. But more than that, Kuai Liang’s previous character development was thrown out of the window and he as the MK!1 Scorpion right away ended as the “final product”, the good, honorable Grandmaster. In past the road to that point demanded from him to face a lot hard truth about Lin Kuei, to deal with his guilt, trauma and grief after losing brother and Smoke, making hard choices like choosing peace with murdered of his brother for benefit of Lin Kuei, Shirai Ryu and Earthrealm instead of seeking revenge. Kuai Liang was a good man in general, no doubt about that, but the wise, honorable sage and loyal Earthrealm Defender came with time, here Scorpion is just, well, he is, not really Hanzo and not really Kuai Liang, something between. He is angry, but does not have the burning anger of Hanzo Hasashi that blinds him to the point other characters (Quan Chi and Kronika) easily manipulate and exploit him. He cares for Bi-Han, but doesn’t seem to have Kuai Liang’s dedication to save/redeem him, like previous versions had for the Noob Saibot, corrupted by dark magic Bi-Han’s soul. Of course, Mortal Kombat 1 is just a new way into the rebooted timeline and only time shows us in what direction the NRS plan to take Scorpion - or Bi-Han and Hanzo for that matter.

But since the game did what it did, my main idea (complain) what could be done better is an actual effort to build the sense of brotherhood between the brothers before the events separated them for good. I don’t mind that Bi-Han was abrasive toward most characters as he quite often was portrayed like that and so were other cryomancers at times. But his betrayal - and Scorpion’s reaction - would have bigger impact if the sibling bond was more flashed out before the tragedy happened (though I would argue with the spreading idea between fans that Bi-Han always acted like the worst jerk toward poor baby Tomas, as what story showed us is the “frustrated Bi-Han” and he snipped at both brothers whenever they mentioned father, while still included Tomas in either taking Smoke to meet Liu Kang and on mission or in his worries [“Are you both unharmed?”], and did not correct Liu Kang in their intro dialogue when Fire Gods specifically said “your brothers” miss him. The conflict and disdain seems to be aimed mainly at Lin Kuei status and/or bloodline however I don’t think we have yet enough idea how Lin Kuei now operate and how they managed switch some much from everyone worth is welcome in previous Lin Kuei to apparently just bloodline matters). Of course, I’m aware the brotherhood would be a hard thing to flesh out with such limited screen time as the story was divided between a quite big cast, however as Johnny and Kenshi proved, the game could and did create the feeling of true comradeship between characters who too were sidelined in later chapters. So I think the best solution would be either leave Bi-Han’s betrayal for the latest part of the story or, alternatively, let Bi-Han’s die, maybe even to make sure his brothers get away, and then bring him as Noob Saibot, giving us both the evil Sub-Zero the game aimed for and Kuai Liang’s more classical grief over killed family and the conflict with corrupted, undead version of Bi-Han. What I think would work nicely through the future games without making still alive Bi-Han a weird mix of Noob and Frost and would not hurt so much compared to what Mileena, Baraka and Reptile got in contrast to Lin Kuei brothers.

Thinking more about it, the game could actually use Kuai Liang’s father in more direct way, as part of Lin Kuei team on mission so Bi-Han, if truly needed to end as betrayer, could let him die during an actual story mode with the future games/lore focusing on Kuai Liang (Scorpion)’s burning anger and desire for justice/revenge - but I’m aware that would be even more complicated to fit into limited story time.

The other thing I think would be much truer to Kuai Liang’s original character is him to fight for control over Lin Kuei to actually uphold traditions he was so devoted to than creating a different clan. Scorpion’s decision of course makes sense within the story but Kuai Liang’s loyalty was always to Lin Kuei first and foremost and if younger Sub-Zero in previous timeline(s) needed to destroy it to reform the clan for more honorable ways, he would do so. Kuai Liang mentioned Cyrax and Sektor’s loyalty to Bi-Han is absolute, but thinking logically, he could have a more blood-related family interested in the fate of their relative that could support his claim to title. In result, Bi-Han could be on the run, maybe with the hard-die followers making Scorpion’s intro dialogues about seeking /hunting brother accurate too.

In general, I won’t say that MK1!Scorpion is a bad or boring character, because he isn’t, but what he could use - the same as the rest Lin Kuei - is a better flashed out relationship that would give him a chance to grow alongside the story. The game keeps mentioning he and Bi-Han are brothers, but we barely see any of that close bond (Scorpion and Smoke understandably look better in that matter as they were meant to contrast the relationship with much colder and ambitious Bi-Han, but Smoke is pretty much pushed to sidelines for majority of game, the same as Sub-Zero). The intro dialogues and character endings imply romantic relationship (future marriage) but again, we are told about that and not really shown or allowed to see how it develops - and yes, I’m irked about this romantic addition that pushes Kuai Liang into Hanzo’s original role (and why push Harumi straight into marriage either? Why not introduce her and allow her to grow into her own person before marrying her off?). Which I think is part of the problem, as Mortal Kombat games don't dwell much into “daily” life of characters as we usually jump from one crisis to another fight and probably TV series or well written comics would do better justice for that sort of thing.

Don’t know if my ideas would handle better MK!1 Scorpion, beside maybe letting Hanzo have this mantle. I do however think it would be pretty cool if Kuai Liang got some character flaws to overcome, the same as Bi-Han got his arrogance and ambitions. Like I said, this Kuai Liang is not a bad character but he is the designated “good brother” and the perfect fighter, grandmaster, follower of Liu Kang and some flaws to balance his otherwise ideal portrayal would do some good. Hanzo had his serious anger and trust issues, Kuai Liang’s rocky relationship with authority and yes, some of those traits are implied here and there with MK1!Scorpion but so far does not play any vital role (the way he was ready to smack already laying on ground Bi-Han again with his shackles is so far the most visible anger fit he showed, but that is a pale imitation to what Hanzo Hasashi was capable of. Similarly his concern/doubts about Liu Kang stated in intro dialogues are not even close to Kuai Liang’s accusation and questioning of Raiden or other gods’ authority).

#mortal kombat #my replies #kuai liang #scorpion #bi han #sub zero #to be honest both brothers could be handle better if story mode allowed us to see their brotherhood at the best before the worst happened #also the coward should give scorpion!kuai liang some flaws to balance the general good nature

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mattybraps10 · 4 months

Text

New Year's Day - Nico Hischier x Jack Hughes

summary: Loosely inspired by Taylor Swift's song of the same name, this story follows Devils captain Nico Hischier as he navigates his overwhelming crush on Jack Hughes as the team tries to plan a New Year's Eve party.

word count: 2038

by: M

warnings: NSFW CONTENT, long intro, blowjobs

Throwing this year’s New Year’s Eve party was proving to be a bigger challenge than Nico Hischier was anticipating. Since he became captain, it was always on him to plan events and bring the team together outside of work. Despite this responsibility, he somehow always managed to avoid hosting events, opting to let the wags get together and plan something extravagant on his dime. This year, however, the wags decided to let the team plan it, probably for their own amusement as the men finally realized how much work actually goes into organizing events.

Nico and Jack took it upon themselves to delve out responsibilities, assigning each player a different job. Jonas and John were assigned music which turned out to be very simple as John had just bought a new speaker. The two of them just had to make a playlist for the night. Erik and Luke worked together to figure out decorations, sending Simon, Curtis, Nate, and Jesper to pick them up from various stores. Alex, Mikey, Timo, and Dawson were in charge of catering and food, which meant they spent the next several weeks eating from every restaurant in the greater metropolitan area. The goalies: Vitek, Akira, and Nico, were in charge of the photo wall. Everyone else was expected to show up four hours early on the night of the party to set everything up.

The day of the party came around, and everyone gathered in Nico’s apartment to decorate. All furniture was moved out of the main room, stacked haphazardly in Nico’s guest room. All was going smoothly, the speaker was working and the food was on the tables, until Luke and Erik started arguing over which decorations went where. Luke wanted the fairylights over the dance floor horizontally, whilst Erik wanted them around the entire room. Nico had to step in and offer a compromise with half of them over the dance floor and the other half on two of the four walls.

By the time they finished setting everything up, there was thirty minutes left before everyone else showed up. Some of the guys went home to get ready with their partners and others hung around, grabbing a beer from the fridge and congratulating each other on their respective roles in the set up. The room looked surprisingly well put together. Black table cloths covered the counter and kitchen tables, food and champagne flutes resting on them. The walls were covered in lights, perfectly illuminating the room. The goalies had done an excellent job with the photo wall, black fabric cascaded down from the ceiling, giant golden 2024 balloons floating in front. The table beside it held props and the polaroid camera, perfect for the night ahead of them.

Nico was overwhelmed by the whole process, his home now unrecognizable. He was grateful for Jack’s help in setting everything up and being there for him without him having to even ask.

“Hey Jack, thank you. You really didn’t have to help me organize all of this.” He said, turning to face him.

“You would’ve done the same.” Jack replied simply, taking a sip of his beer and wrapping an arm around Nico.

Nico blushed as he felt the weight of Jack’s arm on his shoulders. The captain’s crush on his alternate only deepened during the planning process. Every call to check in on the planning only reminded him how much he adored Jack.

The music started up again as everyone flooded into the apartment. Music flooded Nico’s mind as he received compliments from his guests for the decorations. As the night wore on and as Nico progressed quickly through glasses of champagne, he found himself clinging to his alternate. His mind was foggy with thoughts of Jack. Memories of them on the ice filtered through his mind as he stood slightly too close to his teammate.

“Jacky, ‘don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere.’ I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Nico whispered, his hands on either side of the smaller man’s face.

“I’m not going anywhere buddy, don’t worry.” Jack said, trying to reassure his captain.

Nico looked into Jack’s eyes, searching for a promise of something more, something Jack could never give.

“Let’s go to the photo booth, yeah? Then we’ll never be apart!” Jack said, moving Nico’s hands from his face.

Jack grabbed his hand pulling him across the room, his face flush from the alcohol. As Jack expertly weaved through the dance floor, Nico became distracted by the hand clutching his. He found himself wanting more once again, worrying about what would happen if he ever shared his thoughts.

“Ondrej! My man! Can you take a few polaroids of me and Hisch? Thanks!” Jack said, going through the props on the table and handing Nico a plastic crown which matched the tiara he was now wearing.

“You first, princess.” Nico said, teasing Jack and allowing him to lead him in front of the photo wall.

Jack flushed at the nickname and Nico made a mental note to call him that again. The first photo was of them with their arms around each other, smiling at the camera. As the first photo printed, Jack and Nico planned their next one.

“I got it! Bend down a little, yeah?” Jack said, leaning in to kiss Nico on the cheek.

Ondrej quickly took the picture, laughing at the extra flush in Nico’s cheeks and ears.

“One more, yeah guys?” Ondrej asked, placing the second polaroid on the table.

“Mhm, Nico you pick!” Jack smiled, making Nico flush again.

“Let’s do the party poppers! I think Luke said these ones are full of glitter.”

“Perfect.” Jack said, taking his place next to Nico.

“Okay guys… On three. One… Two… Three!” Ondrej announced as the poppers burst. Clouds of glitter and confetti surrounded Jack and Nico as the flash of the camera went off. Rather than looking at the camera as planned, the boys were focused intently on eachother, the photo having captured the way they looked at one another perfectly.

“Thanks!” Nico and Jack said in unison as they walked back into the crowd, the pictures already forgotten in their drunk minds.

“OH MY GOD NEEKS I LOVE THIS SONG!!!” Jack called, grabbing Nico’s hand and pulling him onto the dance floor.

Nico flushed at the new nickname, half convinced his face would become permanently red after this. He swayed to the music as Jack sang/yelled the words to him, something about a taxi and long roads, the words jumbled by the drunken Hughes. He couldn’t help but feel that Jack’s words targeted him, his mind racing as he looked into his alternate’s eyes searching for anything that might hint to his thoughts. As the song ended, Nico remained where he was, staring into the blue eyes that held everything he’d ever dreamed of.

“TEN SECONDS TO MIDNIGHT!” Someone yelled, as everyone grabbed their partners in anticipation.

“Ten…”

“Nico?” Jack whispered, his eyes fluttering down to Nico’s lips.

“Nine…”

“Jack?” Nico echoed, looking down at the boy in front of him.

“Eight…”

The shorter boy nodded as Nico looked down towards his mouth.

“Seven…”

Nico licked his lips in anticipation.

“Six…”

Jack looked up into Nico’s eyes.

“Five…”

Nico rested his hands on Jack's face.

“Four…”

Jack grabbed Nico’s waist.

“Three…”

Jack pulled his captain closer.

“Two…”

Nico angled his teammate’s face towards him.

“One!!”

Their lips connected and time stopped. Nico felt as if fireworks were erupting from him as he held Jack close, tangling one of his hands in Jack’s hair. Jack moaned into the kiss as Nico tightened his grip on his hair.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!” Everyone cheered as they separated from their partners.

Jack and Nico pulled apart as they heard the click of a camera.

“Fucking finally!” Ondrej said from behind the camera.

The boys laughed.

“Happy New Year Cap!” Jack said, his lips swollen from the kiss.

“Happy New Year Princess!” Nico smiled as Jack flushed.

The next morning Jack and Nico found themselves wrapped around each other in bed with a vague memory of what had happened the night before.

“Did we?” Jack asked, looking down to see himself fully clothed.

“No, I don’t think so.” Nico said, simply.

“I mean not that I’d mind if we did, I just would want to remember it, ya know?” Jack rambled, looking over to Nico.

“Shut up.” Nico said, pulling Jack into another passionate kiss.

A string of saliva connected their mouths as Jack pulled away for a breath.

“I guess we should clean up, huh?” Jack said, sitting up.

“That can wait.” Nico said, gesturing to the growing erection in Jack’s dress pants.

“I guess it can.” Jack laughed, straddling Nico and pulling him into another kiss.

Nico pulled at Jack’s shirt as their tongues battled for control. Remembering the night before, Nico tugged at Jack’s hair causing him to moan into the kiss allowing Nico to take control. He quickly flipped Jack onto his back, swiftly unbuttoning his pwn shirt and throwing it onto the floor. Jack clutched to Nico’s chest as he got to work unbuttoning his alternate’s shirt. Once he got it off, he threw it next to his own. Nico broke the kiss as Jack whined. He slowly kissed his way down Jack’s jaw and neck until he reached his nipples. He rolled his hands over one of them as he began sucking and biting at the other. Jack moaned loudly at Nico’s actions, arching his back for more friction against the growing tent in his captain’s pants.

“Not yet baby, not yet.” Nico said, pulling away from Jack.

Jack whined again at the loss of contact, thrusting into the air in a pathetic attempt to gain more friction. Nico pulled his pants and boxers off in one foul swoop, freeing his member. He spit into his hands, lubing them as he started jacking himself off.

“Jack, eyes on me baby.” He said, grabbing Jack’s neck and forcing him to watch.

Jack moaned loudly at the hand on his airway as he watched his partner pleasure himself. His dick began leaking as he watched his captain throw his head back in pure bliss.

“Can I?” Jack choked out, trying to take Nico into his mouth.

“Yes.”

That was all he needed. Jack sprung to his knees, his painful erection forgotten as he licked a stripe up Nico’s dick. Nico threw his head back in ecstasy as he clutched Jack’s hair to use him. When Jack realized what was happening, he moaned around Nico’s cock, relaxing his throat so that Nico could use him like the slut he was.

“I bet you like this, huh? Being used like a toy.” Jack moaned.

Nico thrusted harder into Jack’s mouth as Jack tried not to gag, as his eyes prickled with tears that threatened to fall.

“I’m so close, baby, so close. Hold on for me.” Nico said, clutching Jack’s hair for dear life as he came down his throat.

Jack swallowed quickly before standing up and pulling Nico into a messy kiss. Nico loved being able to taste himself on Jack’s tongue, a reminder of who the boy belonged to.

“Let’s take care of you now, huh baby?” Nico said, wrapping a hand around Jack’s leaking cock.

Nico tugged at Jack’s cock, rubbing his thumb over the slit before getting on his knees and taking all of him into his eager mouth. Jack wasn’t nearly as big as Nico, but his width more than made up for it. Nico sucked on Jack’s dick, watching as he threw his head back clearly close.

“I’m gonna-” Jack never finished his thought, coming in Nico's mouth. If Nico could get hard again this quickly he would’ve from the sound of Jack’s voice wrecked from his cock.

“Hey Jack?” Nico said, standing up and pecking Jack on the lips.

“Yeah?”

“Let’s clean up now, yeah?”

‘Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor

You and me, forevermore

Don't read the last page

But I stay when it's hard, or it's wrong, or we're making mistakes

I want your midnights

But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day’

#jack hughes #nico hischier #nico hischier x jack hughes #hockey fanfiction #devils cast

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blazehedgehog · 5 months

Note

As an outsider looking in, it seems to me that up to adventure 2 there was actually atleast a vague direction of the story and plot of Sonic, with the first one introducing the franchise, then sloy adding tails, then by third there is the whole mural that gets brought up in adventure with more echidna lore, ending with Sonic realising he was the ultimate lifeform and stopping and redeeming Eggmans bad past and with the working together maybe being an oportunity for Eggman to start reforming himself instead of trying to destroy the world again like his grandfather tried.

But after, all the game storys (or what I heard and saw in youtube clips) seem to just be one of things and gimmicks that just dont really stick, especially since Unleashed wich if I am correct just threw another world ending thing into the lore that came out of nowhere and was forgoten after only for the next games to do the same.

ldk maybe Im totally wrong, thats why Im asking a Sonic expert

From my perspective, there was no definitive "lore" in Sonic until Sonic 3. I'm sure Sonic 1 and 2 had ideas and a direction they were aiming for, a concept they were forming, but Sonic 3 established a lot of key ideas that reverberated for a long time: the existence of a master emerald, the purpose of the master emerald, and the keepers of the master emerald.

Sonic 1 was just, like, "Here's what we settled on for who Sonic is and some of the rules of his world." A first draft.

Sonic 2 says "Here's all the ideas we had in Sonic 1, but they're bigger, better, and more cohesive now."

Sonic 3 & Knuckles is when it starts to feel like A Story. The Japanese manual opens with Sonic recalling the legend of a lost civilization and their downfall. We start getting cutscenes that tie in to that intro. It references events (really, the only one) from the previous game.

Sonic Adventure doubles down on all of that. It is deeply entwined in its narrative. Over an hour of fully voiced cutscenes. Explores the dangling plot threads established by Sonic 3. References multiple past games.

Sonic Adventure 2 is a little more oblique and you have to read between the lines a lot more, but it still connects to Sonic Adventure and the overall lore that had been established in 1994.

From there, Sonic games started trying to move on, and things became a lot more disjointed. Heroes and Shadow tried to connect to Sonic Adventure 2, but those waters became muddied very quickly thanks to poor characterization and rushed storytelling. Sonic 06 wanted to balance being a soft reboot with picking up with the story of Shadow the Hedgehog.

And from Sonic Unleashed onwards, Sonic games basically became self-contained until basically Sonic Frontiers.

Though I'm sure some nitpicky pedant will tell me about how Sonic Forces and Sonic Generations were full of ton of references to this and that and whatever as if I don't already know that, completely not understanding the concept of summary and generalization.

#questions #Anonymous #sonic the hedgehog #sega #sonic team

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fear-tear · 1 year

Text

Sonic Lost World if SEGA hired a proof-reader (PART 1: Windy Hill)

INTRO: https://at.tumblr.com/fear-tear/intro-sonic-lost-world-if-sega-hired-a/x6wcuwgkuskx

In the original, Sonic says that he only got one capsule of animals (which ain’t true if the player bothered to complete the level at 100%).

Now, the subject of saving animals is pushed aside in favour of the bigger issue of THE SMALL PLANET IN THE SKY. Knuckles finds the whole story unbelievable (and also establishes to the viewers that Sonic is usually a jokester).

(He won’t lol)

While in the original game Amy seemed to care only about the small animals, now she’s also worried about Sonic (and Tails too).

No need to change the dialogues here. We see what Eggman is doing with the animals, we’re introduced with the new villains, we’re getting hints of things that will be explained later.

Sorry, no more Baldy McNosehair here.

And no more “Deadly Six” either. The name “Zeti” is already dropped here, as well as the first bit of informations about them.

In the original Eggman refers to Zazz by his name. Which is kind of out of character for the doctor: he only sees the Zeti as tools, why would he bother to learn their names (especially since in a later cutscene he calls Zomom as “fat one”)

The following banter between Zazz and Sonic is just perfect as it was already, no need to change.

What NEEDS to change, on the other hand...

...is Tails. There are better ways to establish his status as the little genius then making him BRAG about his feats. Tails doesn’t BRAG about his intelligence.

We’re already seeing Tails fixing the plane, there’s no need to make him talk about his other past McGyver-esque successes.

Instead, I take the chance to both humbling Tails down AND drop more hints of lore about this unnanemd planet in the sky.

Tails gestures at the plane not to say “see, I fixed it, piece of cake”, but to say “I can’t wait to fly back home (with the plane)”. The gestures and the new dialogue still matches. Kinda.

And Sonic, being the impatient guy he is, urges Tails to wrap it up and focus on the current task at hand, without undermining Tails’ feelings.

#sonic lost world #sonic the hedgehog #Miles Tails Prower #sonic #tails #Knuckles the Echidna #knuckles #amy rose #eggman #Dr. Eggman #deadly six #zavok #zazz

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manonamora-if · 6 months

Text

Weekly check in. Some little stuff, some bigger stuff.

Current word count: 23.323 (Ch.5), >8k (Ch.6)

And we're finally back on track with Harcourt, babyyyy. After a month of eh from both me (with the editing) and MelS (writing the next chapter), we both managed to break through our respective blocks.

As of a few days ago, I sent back the edited Chapter 5 to MelS, so he could answer my comments and check the changes. I finally got to read the missing bits (and they are creepy and yucky)... Can't wait to code all of that when it is ready. We definitely need another round of MelS editing the text and me checking it, before I can add that to the file.

Until I get the file back, I'll focus on other projects.

Like...

Yerup... I ended up finishing it. A little binksi with more vibes than story. Click if you dare :P

Making a binksi (or a bitsy/bipsi) had been something on my bucket list for a while now (almost a year actually), and I finally got to make one for realsies!

Honestly, the hardest part in all of this... was making the tiles/sprites in 8x8 pixels ;-; Anyway, the code is freely available on itch and my GitHub.

Fixed some accessibility issues yesterday:

textbox not getting in focus properly

links/buttons not changing state when in focus but not hovered

added image descriptions to pictures in French/English

Also added the logos of Twine and SugarCube when the game loads. Those are clickable too.

I have worked a tad more on the UI/missing elements. But not as much as I should have.

Next week, the final update should be out.

This is what I'll be fixing this month. Officially reopened the code files, stared at it, and cried. It's so bad. It's such a mess...

Not looking forward to it, but it needs fixing! (I've asked the Forum for help too in the commands...)

ALSO, I've decided there will be a hyperlink version of this game. Instead of the commands, click on words. It will be in the same file, and you get to choose at the start.

I’ve finished reviewing the EctoComp entries (except the Spanish-only ones because I suck at Spanish...) and have started reviewing the Bare-Bones Jam entry. An updated version of the reviews have been queues on the IFDB and @manonamora-if-reviews. I will probably go back to the IFComp entries after that (probably after the voting deadline... I've done 40 already...).

-_-

I've made a completely new intro post with all of the place I'm at (if you'd rather not be on Tumblr). It was a long time coming, and now I have clear channels of where I'm posting about stuff. Just need to be consistent...

I've also started migrating old dev logs and posts to my blog, especially the longer ones where I have a lot to say. Since the search function and archive on Tumblr is eh, I get to keep the important ones (not all of them are) in a more organised place. They are still on Tumblr, btw. It's not gone, just copied. It's been nice to revisit old dev logs, and see how far I've come (it's been a long way). It's pretty humbling (especially the typos, omg... I fixed so many of those).

-_-

The IFComp and EctoComp, are always looking for players/voters. If you want to play a few short-ish games, take advantage of that! There is only a few days left for the IFComp and a few weeks for the EctoComp.

The @seedcomp-if is always looking for inspiration (text, images, code, etc…) in this current first round. If you have half-baked ideas or anything, really, come submit something!

Over @neointeractives, ShuffleComp! is looking for playlists and participats :)

-_-

And that's it I think...

#dev log #progress #update #ttateh #lpm #tos #trnt

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bettsfic · 1 year

Note

Congratulations on finishing your novel!! Is there anything you can tell us about it at this point, or is it too early for that to be shared? No worries if that's the case. I hope we all get the chance to read it one day :)

i haven't talked about it a lot so i don't have a solid pitch or anything, but the main character is henry, an autistic underwriter with a deeply fucked up past. and he's in love with his coworker layla but trying very hard not to be.

he's also a recovering sex addict who uses bdsm for self-harm, and he has a daddy dom named thrash whose main kink is giving him everything he wants.

layla seems very sweet and normal, but she's even more obsessed with henry than he is with her. i wanted to make a character who believes they're a sociopath but who is actually not at all a sociopath.

but her older sister lacey is definitely a sociopath.

when layla finds out the horrific things that happened to henry in childhood, she plots to murder henry's father.

and she teams up with thrash to get it done.

henry's POV: hopeful coming of age story about a 30 year old whose growth was stymied by trauma but who comes to realize his life's purpose is art. layla's POV: true crime novel.

excerpt under the cut!

thrash's intro, cw for suicidal ideation, drug use, and questionable bdsm practices.

On his porch there are prayer flags and paper lanterns. Adirondack chairs flanking a glass table with a bronze ashtray, so clean it looks as though it has never been used. Mariachi music floods out from behind the door. I can walk away. I should walk away.

I knock. The music volume lowers and a moment later, he is opening the door, wearing a pair of board shorts and a Hawaiian shirt covered in Birds of Paradise, even though there is snow on the ground.

He grins and opens his arms wide and welcoming. “King!”

He gives the best hugs. Too long, too tight, but it’s a single moment during which you cannot fall apart, because Thrash is holding you together.

He pulls away, holds me by the shoulders, looks me up and down. “How long has it been? A year?”

“Nine months.”

He knocks my chin lightly with a knuckle. “Really, man. I’m glad to see you. I missed you.”

I follow him inside. The house is enormous, intended to be one of those rich-people hideous stock houses, identical to all those around it and everything in shades of beige, but he has made it his own, art hung all over in a never-ending rotation as he buys new pieces. Ugliest shit anyone’s ever seen. Once, high, I told him he had bad taste. He laughed and said, “You don’t know fuck about art, man. Good art to you is probably the shit you’d hang in a dentist’s office.”

Maybe if he hadn’t said that, the tattoos wouldn’t be a thing. Maybe I only wanted to be beautiful for him. Something worth hanging.

The pieces have all rotated out since I’ve been here last, aside from the six-by-six abstract piece across from the front door, the first sight when you walk in. He’s always happy to talk about every piece he owns—where he got it and for how much, what he knows about the artist—but he never talks about that one.

Over the past eight years I’ve known Thrash, I’ve spent a long time looking at it, no title or signature, an enormous canvas flecked with pastel oil paint, all thirty-six square feet of it, so covered you couldn’t see the canvas beneath. Pale pink, robin’s egg blue, butter yellow, mint green—colors that remind us of infants, of safety and smallness. Yet it's enormous, overwhelming, bigger than me.

Thrash is a generous man. He buys lavish gifts, throws insane parties, donates probably over six figures a year to arts organizations and scholarships. He once mentioned a wing of a university library dedicated to him. He never charges me for drugs. When I ask him for things, he says, “Your wish is my command.”

There is an allure, I think, in having the power to grant anyone their wildest, darkest wish.

He is cooking something and the house smells very good. I have not eaten since the Bavarian sandwich with spicy mustard and no cheese, sweet potato fries, and brownie sundae with no whipped cream (Layla ate two bites and I demolished the rest). I have also not had anything to drink since Layla shoved a Glacier Cherry Gatorade in my hand and told me to chug.

In the kitchen, he stirs a huge pot of something on the stove and says, “I hope you’re hungry. I don’t want to have to freeze these leftovers.” He opens the fridge. “What’re you drinking? IPA? Lager? Wait, right, you’re a pilsner guy.”

He pulls out a bottle of pilsner and pops it open with the churchkey welded to his counter top. When he hands it over, he asks, “You feeling okay?”

“Rough day.”

He slaps my shoulder. “Let me take all your troubles away, huh?”

I eat arroz con pollo on Thrash’s couch. He tells me about his trip to Mexico. When his bowl is empty, he sets it aside and takes two bumps of coke off the back of his hand, one for each nostril. I prefer him a little coked up. He is too nice to me when he’s not.

Thrash is fifty-three. His hair is still dark brown which makes me think he gets it dyed. Usually he has only a mustache but to fit with what seems to be his whole post-vacation vibe, his chin is covered in stubble. He is very tan.

I am attracted to him not just because he’s good at what he does, but because he’s totally free. Untethered from anything or anyone.

“Alright,” he says, lounging back on the couch, feet propped on the coffee table. “What are you looking for tonight?”

“The usual.”

“You haven’t been here in nine months. There’s no more usual.”

“I want to go back to what we did in the beginning.”

His shapely eyebrows rise up his forehead. “Getting into dangerous territory, baby boy.”

When he calls me “baby boy,” I know I have said something he likes.

He reaches over and takes me by the chin, forces me to look at him. “I don’t want to hurt you. I mean I do but I don’t, you feel me?”

“You barely knew me back then.”

“I know, babe. But I’m older, I’m wiser, and I don’t have a liability form.”

“I trust you.”

Something flickers across his face, and for a moment he is not Thrash, but whoever he is on the outside, the actor of our ongoing scene. Then it fades and he grins, once more my personal Dionysus.

In the basement, I undress. I fold my clothes neatly and place them on the lid of a vinyl record player. Thrash is taking off his ridiculous shirt. He is really very tan.

“You been working out, man?” he asks. “You look good.”

“Thanks,” I say, wishing he would gag me already. Small talk is hard enough in real life; I don’t want to have to attempt it in a sex dungeon. I climb onto my favorite spanking bench, the one that is not too comfortable that I start to feel good, but not so uncomfortable it distracts me. I am irritated that Thrash has made me choose between being gagged or restrained—one, I can safeword but not move; the other, I can tap out but not speak. I fear he is conforming to the tyrannical writ of Safe, Sane, and Consensual, over my much-preferred Risk-Aware Consensual Kink.

I have opted for gagging.

“How about this one?” he asks, grinning stupidly and holding up a leather paddle that says SLUT on it, backwards.

“No.”

“Yeesh. Such a traditionalist.” He paws through the drawer. “Come on, babe, help me narrow it down.”

I make a frustrated sound through my teeth. Around Thrash, I do not have to worry about my rotely memorized conversational schemas or the intricate performance of social mores. Under the mask, I am irritable, cruel, inconsiderate. I insult thoughtlessly. I express plainly my disinterest. My honesty is brutal. I am a mean person.

“Flogger it is, then. Old reliable.” Thrash points the handle of the flogger at me. “You’re lucky I accommodate your aversion to decision-making. You find a worse guy than me, you’ll be in real trouble.”

“Is there anyone worse than you?”

He whistles through his teeth and says, “So bratty today. But I love it when you flirt with me.”

He circles the bench, assessing whatever it is he assesses. His hand is on my lower back. “You’re feeling some kind of way right now, huh?”

I close my eyes. The leather warms beneath my cheek. “You could say that.”

“I’ll be real hard on you, okay? Get you out of your head for a while.”

“Thank you.”

His hand is soft, the hand of a man who has never had to do manual labor besides hurting people for fun. He slides it up to my shoulder. I wish he would scratch it, but if he starts, I won’t want him to stop. “You get new ink? This looks fresh.”

“Yesterday. Don’t tell me what it is.”

“You don’t know what it is?”

“I never know. I just let the artist do her thing.”

“You’re saying—hold on. You’re telling me you didn’t choose a single one of these eight hundred tattoos you got?”

“Right.”

“You know I love you, baby boy, but you’re a real freak.” He takes the ball gag and says, “Alright, open up.”

When I first met Thrash, he didn’t know the meaning of aftercare. He did his thing, fucked me, and said, “See you next time.” Now it is non-negotiable. I get the full treatment: massage, praise, a glass of water and a snack. Nowadays I think Thrash likes aftercare more than the scene itself. It sickens me. He didn’t go as hard on me as I had hoped, didn’t fuck me or get me off, and as he guides me upstairs, heavy hand on the back of my neck, I can’t help but sense his concern at conflict with his distance. I hate when people step carefully around me.

I am drunk on pain. I am swimming through an abyss. I am an animal, a body wandering.

He puts together a bunch of leftovers in an environmentally friendly Whole Foods tote bag. He has included coupons to a Mexican restaurant he insists is authentic, and a twenty-five dollar gas card he just had lying around. He is talking the whole time, but I can’t hear what he’s saying.

The blunt force cold upon stepping outside snaps me out of it. Thrash has followed me out in only his gaudy shirt and board shorts. He folds into a chair. Tugs a pack of Marlboro Golds out of his shirt pocket. Slips one out, lights it.

I stop on the top step of his porch and turn back to him. The paper lanterns are lit up, along with white fairy lights around the trim.

“If I asked you to, would you kill me?”

He leans back and exhales a cloud of both smoke and condensation. I am grateful he has neither laughed at me nor dismissed it as outlandish. Now that I think about it, he has never laughed at me.

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“Why you want to die.”

“Because I’m too hard to love.”

He gives me a long look while he takes a long drag. “Be hard to love, baby,” he says, tapping ash into the immaculate tray. “Make them fight for it.”

#skinless

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