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trashanstuff · 5 months

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wishing @irenereru a merry (late i’m so sorry 😭) Christmas!

This is my gift for the stobotnik secret santa 2023, thank you @panic-flavored for organizing the event

You asked for something soft and cute so I thought a lil domestic morning would do,let the villains enjoy the holidays

#rob is clingy only and exlusively in the morning #he needs his human heater ok?#since they sleep little because of work #they are very eepy once they relax #hope you enjoy #pretend you dont see that poor exuse of a background #stobotnik #agent stone #dr robotnik #sonic movie #jimbotnik

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icewindandboringhorror · 5 months

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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***

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doodleodds · 2 years

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royalty & fairy tale au’s are meant to be mixed and u can’t change my mind

Late shuake week 2022 day 3 - Royalty AU

#shuakeweek2022 #akechi goro #kurusu akira #I JUST REALLY LOVE SLEEPING BEAUTY OK #or well. i love the idea of 'sleeping curses.' idk why! they've always fascinated me #i used to be obsessed with aurora and snow white for that reason #and so here i am! as always! projecting this interest of mine onto my favorite characters :)#also for reference because i just realized how weird it reads: goro's gonna be in the tallest tower when he's cursed #that's why akira's got a reason to climb it. so. yeah #also in case you were wondering why i said 'see you tomorrow with more art' and then proceeded not to post for.....four days:#1) work decided that i'm going to be doing more hours so i now have very little free time;#2) i decided to actually try my hand at coloring again like an IDIOT and now here we are. sigh. coloring is hard #i was trying to hard not to just overdose on comic dots again lol & it resulted in this nonsense. me and my one very textured stone wall #ANYWAY lmao even though i missed like. every single day of akeshu week so far i'm still gonna be doing the prompts #just at my own pace! so. hopefully expect more art. soon. ish. hopefully not with another uhhh 2 month gap like last year lol #also quick fun fact since you made it this far in my tags! that second page originally wasn't supposed to be there!#i drew sleeping goro just cause i could and i was just gonna stick him under a read more but then i got attached lmao #and now he's in the main post! :D yayyyyyy goro #ANYWAY that was super long. thanks for reading & i hope u have a lovely day!!!!

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running-in-the-dark · 24 days

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had my first real appointment with my new GP today (the time last month when I had to go in because of my middle ear infection doesn't count) - it was fine! not great, not bad, just fine. they had to take my blood too and surprisingly, the kinda rough nurse got a lot nicer once she realised how scared I was (usually they just tend to start talking to me like I'm a child).

then I saw that a package I was waiting for got delivered while I was at the appointment - to one of my neighbours. except it didn't say which one. there's 5 other families in this house, so that was a bit scary. I decided to just ask the people in the other ground floor apartment, and luckily they did have my package! the lady that opened the door was really nice. I'm glad I managed to do that - it was hard, tbh. really scary. but I just had the thought that I should at least ask those people and then basically ran out immediately so I wouldn't have time to think about it (and it worked).

we're getting closer to finishing our kitchen. just a couple things left now, like the hanging cabinets (that's the part that scares me a bit - I already don't trust those anyway, but if I know I'm the one who put them up... well that kinda makes it even scarier 😬). I'm excited for it to be done though - I really need to unpack the rest of our stuff before the chaos makes me go insane.

it seems that this period of having a slightly higher level of energy is over, unfortunately. I knew it wouldn't last, and it was like a month this time! that's impressive. but I'm still pretty upset about being back to having to sit on the couch most of the day. it's not great timing, there's so much to do still :( and I'm just permanently exhausted again, so it'll take forever.

#... and it scares me because I'm supposed to be looking for work too #I just... can't #can't do it. it's so hard #😭#I'm not sleeping well. I'm constantly tired. my eye has been twitching for like 3-4 weeks #it's do many little things that feel like they should be nothing #lol on the form I had to fill out for the doctors office I wrote that I'm always tired #so the GP asked how long it's been like that #and I was like 'a long time'. so he asked how long that is #I had to think for a moment but. yeah it's been ten years 🙃#or like. 14. fucking ages #since I was like 18.#I don't even know what not being tired feels like anymore #anyway #I'm exhausted :)#personal

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katebeckets · 2 months

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alright we made it to noon

#i don't know what happened or why today is going this way #but since crying myself to sleep at 5am and waking up to work #i have been on the verge of tears this entire time #literally writing my stupid little notes while i cry #and i know it's grief mixed with stres/exhaustion of something new but it's still infuriating #because why?!?!#i need this to be over :(

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aesthetictokinghost · 1 year

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Wesker helps Will look after his marriage as if it were his own

"Okay, I'm taking off for the night," William announces, stuffing some notes into a folder

"What time did you tell Annette you would be back?"

"Midnight...why?"

"It's 5am, do get her some breakfast on the way home."

#There was one time William had to sleep at the lab for a week straight after a fight #He forgot to pick up Sherry from her field trip #He has difficulty keeping track of time #Annette has no sympathy for it because she works hard in the lab all day as well #Even though she respects his work #Will got very little work done that week #And was a mess #Ever since then Wesker has taken a vested interest in Williams home life #albert wesker #annette birkin #william birkin #umbrella corporation

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arionawrites · 3 months

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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!

#aritalks #i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use #not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before #and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk #but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow #also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years #(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years #and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight #so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday #my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work #my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all #over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered #(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting #when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so #just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my #mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her #and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too #i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure #out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still #dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not #the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one #if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it #but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help #and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks #just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️

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zoppzoop · 9 days

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GAAHAHHHHH

#venting in the tags #maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much #but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn #im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but #i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me #feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it.#plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel #like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went #back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening #and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just #crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and #usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine.#i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better #but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that #plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut #the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad #'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like #shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those #fuck you you bitch #i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep #tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less #ps. note to anyone reading the tags #im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.

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ereborne · 2 months

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Song of the Day: April 15

"Something in the Way She Moves" by James Taylor

#song of the day #it's been two weeks + two days since the last song of the day #the issue is you see that I started the songs up again in December because my insomnia was fucking up my perception of time #and I wanted some kind of regular marker to help me keep track #and then what happened two weeks + two days ago is that I lost all track of time and subsequently the songs of the day failed #I'm gonna see if I can keep up again for a bit now that I've re-restarted without an alarm on my phone #but if I miss any this week I'll just give in and turn the alarm back on #updates from the last two weeks are going to sound so chaotic let's see #I got a new project at work /and/ I got demoted /and/ I got added to a higher access level /and/ I'm in charge of a new database #yes all of those things together. I'm to be an accountant now! not instead but in addition to my other stuff. should be interesting #I didn't get April Fools off like I was scheduled to because all my scheduled vacation got unapproved #(I was here for about twenty nonsequential minutes to boop people and I'm glad I made time for it. extremely fun to boop)#I lied shamelessly to get eclipse day off and we went on a full-day roadtrip and it was wonderful. everything I dreamed and more #I killed one of my baby succulents through clumsiness and rabbits ate my pea plants but my sage and cabbages look promising #got a massive pot of mint flourishing on my porch and the horseradish is gorgeous #got Duncan lights and plants and a filter system for his frog tank but we haven't set up the substrate yet #so there's just potted plants sitting inside a terrarium. very amusing honestly #I've been playing a little Stardew and eating a /lot/ of hot sauce and tofu #drinking tons of klass aguas frescas--especially the soursop one. holy shit is it good. the mango and hibiscus also #and these past few days I've been sleeping better #for most of those two weeks I was getting a handful of twenty-minute naps each workday and then crashing unwillingly on the weekend #I haven't read any comic books since February :'( this weekend we're going to costco and then I'm reading comics until Monday #what have y'all been up to? I've missed being around #edit: oh shit the actual song part. anyway this is James Taylor! makes me happy and helps me settle. good vibes songs #I'm half-panicked about work all the time recently and then also today was tax day (Nick's taxes. blegh)#James Taylor doing some heavy lifting round here

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imwritesometimes · 6 months

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wouldn't it be funny if I could write again lollollol........

#got a very sweet comment on a fic today and I was like oh my god. oh my goddddddd. ppl *still* like my stuff.#ppl still like my silly little stupid little stuff that I had stupid silly fin working on & it's dumb and silly but I shared it!#and ppl like it!#and I'm like not pushing myself anymore. like before I was kinda trying to force shit to happen #like sitting in bed with an open notebook/laptop like CREATE BITCH!#and I'm not doing that anymore lol and being on my meds has really made me feel SO much better #but also like I just don't.... have any ideas anymore. can't rotate blorbo like a rotisserie chicken anymore #I lay down to go to sleep now and because my body is not operating under severe extreme toxic anxiety levels anymore #I just fckn fall asleep. like I'm OUT. good night. sleepin. snoozin. zonked. 7+ hours.#no more blorbo thoughts at the end of the day I'm TIRED and my brain FINALLY shuts off #I hope one day I'll write again. I had so much fun with it. I have had a couple Thoughts #since I have been on my meds #but they're nothing more than a few quick sentences scrawled in a notebook.#it's like I'm doing so much other stuff and having fun in other ways and SLEEPING FINLALLY SWEET GOD ALMIGHTY #there's just like zero processing left for original blorbo ideas #this doesn't make sense and I bet you were all relieved cause I haven't ranted in tags in like months but hahaha #🤡 I STAY HONKIN'!!!! 🤡#(I'm actually really in a really good place mentally rn I promise like the best I've felt in years I'm just ahhh!! tonight lol)#erin explains it all

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icewindandboringhorror · 2 days

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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh

#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh #AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game #(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random #townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can #browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around #and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho #Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly #i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol #I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T #Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things #But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense #That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length #text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres #visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol #Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered #boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world #and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY #more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL #Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool #idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh #the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope #''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months #learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have #a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that #and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY

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haneys · 5 months

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transgenerational trauma getting to me tonight

#vent #how did we live like that #i feel so ashamed of myself I have everyhring I cpuod ask for I have so much more than my mom had #i didnt have to work in the fields since I was 4 like my mom did. I have more to eat than bread butter and boiled cabbage a day #I have more than three shirts. I HAVE SHOES. I HAVE A ROOM FOR MYSELF #and i still amount to nothing I'm just pathetically weak I csnt do anyhting #I didn't go to work today because I was feeling 'bad' meanwhile my mom would get whipped or hit with brooms for that #she spent her whole life to make sure my life would be better and I do nothing with it #I hate myself for feeling bad for myself #our grandma's used to be sold off to more wealthy farms on the countryside to work for food since they were little kids and i feel sad #because I can't buy big groceries and cook dishes for myself. i need to smash my head with a rock and maybe remember #that we used to eat grains soaked in milk and sleep on the floor with 6 people in a single room

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frog-chemicals · 6 months

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Hello tumblr! Meet Bermuda Borealis :3

#I’ll post Better Pictures of him later but that’ll probably Take A While since I’m going on a trip and won’t be able to take him with me #the boom line is. not one of my favorites but hw was a gift and I Will be getting Very Emotionally Attatched regardless #I should also like. skin him for a bath because he’s Vaugely Sticky in a way I. don’t think synthetic fur usually is. unfortunately that #will also have to wait. for now he’s peaceful sleeping in one of my beanies :3 #he Does work when provided with batteries but he was Noisy and I was already Overstimulated when I got him 😬👍#also. little man needs more extra pronouns. probably ocean themed because. well. he’s got the wave pattern and Im Keeping It Simple #furby #rat rambles

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harmonizewithechoes · 3 months

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It’s my middle child’s 3rd birthday today 🥺

3 years ago my partner was deployed overseas and couldn’t come home for the birth because the military didn’t want to spend so much time quarantining their soldiers. Fortunately I had help as my parents were watching my son (at the time just a month shy of 2) for a few days before my due date and we had moved across the street from my partner’s parents when we found out about the deployment. So I had his mom with me at the hospital holding up her phone while we got to have a rare video call with my partner as we welcomed our daughter into the world after a very quick labor. I then had two months with our two very little kids by myself before he came home. It was an incredibly hectic time and I’m still not quite sure how I was able to get through all of that but here we are with the sweetest little 3 year old (let’s call her C) we could have asked for 🥰

C loves to play dress up and she has specific characters she’ll play as where you can’t refer to her as her name or she’ll get mad. She’s not C she’s Dr C or Baby or Baby Kitty or Princess Bucket (this was her first character and yes she does put a bucket on her head as a crown). Her favorite game to play is hide and seek and she loves dance parties and drawing and she’s obsessed with her 1 year old sister. We love C so much and I’m so excited to see how she grows and changes and learns over this next year ❤️