#snax speaks

[dana-is-snax]

es wird nie ein euphorischeres gefühl geben, als laut "arschloch" in "schrei nach liebe" mitzubrüllen

#snax speaks #german stuff

[snax-writes]

new year, same old obsession with fictional characters.

happy new year!

love,

snax

#snax speaks

[girlyliondragon]

@fuzzyblizzardkitty

There's clusters of big/small realistic eyes that are apparently all over the place in that part from what my bf's reblog states and I heard while he was going through there there's even a cutscene that focuses in on it. x.x

I mean another friend of mine who's super duper into body horror said it was too much if that gives ya any indication. :V

#There's a clip on youtube apparently if you wanna see but... I rather not... 🤢if it's so bad that normal body horror lovers aren't into it #I feel I need to say this but I'm not saying never play Stray. But only if you're absolutely prepared for that #but you kinda need to actually be into that gnarly degree of body horror because I mean what I said in the op #it's pretty much a literal trypo/scopophobia jumpscare #But I'm really upset that the devs gave no warning about this #I get why. it's a spoiler. But you'd think people that went through would say something #or at least someone outside of one twitter post would say something #people are going in thinking cute cat game and then they're gonna run into that #that's like me playing a game that looks cute at first but then throws a mob of sp*ders at me. Someone who's arachnophobic and had no idea #Em Speaks #I only like a little body horror as a treat (See: bug/snax)

[hungry-skeleton]

When I'm done with this lil project I wanna make more shit for my little shop of snax au so gimmie ideas, it'll take a while for me to get to em but I will!

#Skela speaks #Bugsnax #bugsnax au #Little shop of snax

[windmill-ghost]

I would make fansnax dolls if you had a reference image honestly.

#well i mean. i’d take a felting commission of any creature #but I’d want to work out a price on an individual level instead of having a flat rate like for the snax #wg speaks

[cyberneticdryad]

WE FINISHED BUGSNAX

#dryad speaks #my brain has latched on and will not let go #we literally caught all the snax and finished all of the dlc and side quests #the only thing we didn't finish were all of the letter requests #but honestly we probably did most of those too!! #i put a bunch of stuff in queue so sorry in advance #i want more bugsnax content ;o;

[bugswapau]

Interview Gramble!

Time to ask the musician a few questions.

“Have time for an interview?”

Interviews are no stranger to me, partner! Hit me withcha best shot.

“Who are you?”

You’ve certainly heard my number one single, “Would You Giggle With Me”, haven’t ya?

“I had it stuck in my head for a good month.”

Y’see, Gramble Gigglefunny needs no introduction.

“Why come to Snaktooth island?”

Well, I’m here to soak up some new life experiences. To get my creative juices flowing, so to speak.

“So your juice isn’t flowing?”

Ah, well... y’know, no hit can stay on top forever, and I reckon the public weren’t crazy for “Live Like You Were Funny” or “Bring On The Giggle”. I've been accused of bein’ a one-hit wonder.

“Thoughts on Bugsnax?”

Every taste is like a stampede runnin’ rampant in my mouth! Creative energy like I've never felt before! Bugsnax are worth whatever price I gotta pay, partner.

“What price is that, exactly?”

Bugsnax are forbidden fruits, partner. I believe there’s somethin’ that keeps us from it. Someday it’ll come for me, but not before I once again astound the world!

“Why did you leave town?”

Plain n’ simple; I was followin’ Wiggle. She certainly knows her way around Snax…

“Are you using Wiggle for her food supply?”

NO! Goodness, ‘course not. I love Wiggle! I would never! She’s much too sweet, like a lil’ Sweetiefly. No, I’d never take advantage of her, even if it was easy-peasy lemon-squeezy!

“Any info on Eggabell?”

Ah, Eggabell. She and Lizbert were big fans of mine! Y’know, I met them backstage at my first farewell tour. They, uh, didn’t have passes, mind ya. Egg climbed in through the air ducts. But if someone breaks the law outta love for my music, who’m I to turn ‘em away?

“Does that happen a lot?”

Not nearly as often as I'd wish.

“What happened to Eggabell?”

That night when Egg went missin’, I ran into the woods lookin’ for her. But instead I found somethin’ terrifying towerin’ over the trees. The Queen of Bugsnax! Her screams tore at my ears, and I made a run for it!

“What is this ‘Queen of Bugsnax’ thing?”

Couldn’t say. All I saw was a fierce silhouette! But if Eggabell crossed paths with that…that THING, then I fear for her.

“Thanks, Gramble, that’s a wrap.”

Ah, nothin’ like the warmth’a free publicity. I know my tall-tale about the Queen sounds like a big load o’ hullabaloo, but I swear on my Platinum Record it’s true. If ya don’t believe me, go and see it for yerself. Now if ya excuse me, I’ve got music to make!

#bugsnax #bugswap au #gramble gigglefunny #bugsnax gramble #interviews

[ginminowas]

i know Theres A Reason for it but nobody ever talks about how wiggle was technically the most right abt the situation on snaktooth (bugsnax having a price to pay + there being a queen of bugsnax. i always figured she was speaking abt one of the boss snax myself but she was right!!) i know technically others were close/right as well (snorpy, sort of) but we had lady gaga right here telling us what was going on this hole time...

#bugsnax #god forbid a woman do anything etc etc

[shwoo]

On this spooky Floofty Friday the thirteenth of @flooftober... Wait, Friday the 13th was almost two weeks ago. I remember. I had to buy a new router because the old one got struck by lightning.

Well, it's the thirteenth story, anyway. Day 26, the prompts are "siren" and "lava" and I got Floofty as the random character for Floofty to interact with. Floofty + Floofty + siren was such an interesting combination that I made the story double length, and edited it more heavily to make it come across how I wanted. Also used the lava prompt because I'll take any excuse to put lava in something.

(Prompt list)

Title: Environmental conditions or by exertion Summary: Floofty encounters a strange temptation inside the volcano. (Also on AO3)

.

Floofty was starting to consider using one of the Bugsnax to scoop samples from the lava, and they knew the heat was getting to them. The Snax were fluttering above them, saying "Cheepoof" over and over. That was what they were called. Yes. They didn't seem bothered by the heat, and they were already on fire, so they might hold up better than the equipment they'd brought with them.

Actually, maybe they should be keeping away from the lava and the spicy Snax right now. Grumpuses had developed a fascinating adaptation against serious burns, which was absent even in their closest extant relatives, but they felt it might work against them at the moment. Even if it was the flammable oils on their skin burning and not their skin or fur, being on fire would still heat them up, and if they got much hotter, they were in danger of passing out before they could extinguish themself. And that would be such a pointless way to die.

Wouldn't it? It probably would be.

"Blast this heat," they muttered, trying to squeeze some of the sweat out of their fur. Their long fur was an excellent protection from the sun, but in this stifling cave, it was more of a liability.

"Yes, it can be quite vexing," said Floofty, next to them.

Floofty jumped back, nearly slipped, and pointed at their doppelganger. "Where in the name of science did you come from?" They reached out to touch them, but the other them stepped back.

Floofty's vision swam, and they saw that this version of them had undergone complete Snakification. Their shape and voice were still recognisably Floofty, and they seemed to be wearing Floofty's bow tie and goggles, but otherwise, they were a mishmash of Noodler, Cheepoof, Paletoss, and maybe some Cocomite.

The other Floofty adopted a thoughtful posture that Floofty knew well. "Do you recall when you cut off your leg? You wondered where the Snakmatter went. Now, you have your answer." They indicated themself.

Floofty looked down at their peg leg, then at their doppelganger. "Ah. Clearly the heat has made me delirious. Farewell, imaginary duplicate." They turned to leave the cave and get back to the cooler night air.

"Choosing the path of cowardice?" said the Snakified Floofty.

Floofty froze. "What?"

"You encounter a completely unknown phenomenon, with great implications for your work, and yet you choose to walk away," continued the other Floofty. They started pacing, back and forth over the rock and into the lava. "I have discovered the extent of the Bugsnax's regenerative capacities, the exact mechanism by which these capacities function, the source of their alluring taste, and countless other revelations. Does that not pique your interest?"

Floofty paused. It really was too hot to think straight. But if this was real, could they really afford to lose this opportunity? They'd learned a lot so far, but it was only a tiny fraction of what there was to understand about Bugsnax.

The Snakified Floofty backed away, further into the lava. "Once you've learned all I have, nobody will call you dangerous or unstable again. When you speak, others will listen."

As they spoke, Floofty began slowly to step forward.

"You will usher in the technology to reverses or prevent innumerable tragedies," continued the other Floofty. "Scientific journals will fight for the chance to publish what you know, and Snorpington will believe in your work again."

There was a hissing and crackling, and the smell of burning wood. Floofty flinched, and looked down to see that they'd stepped into the lava with their peg leg. Not with their right leg, which would have spread the fire to the rest of their body in an instant, but their left, which was currently made of somewhat less flammable wood. They stamped the remaining fire out, before stumbling out of the cave at an awkward run.

They made it to the water's edge and sat down hard on the sugary sands, letting the waves cool them down.

They absolutely could not go back in there to check if what they'd seen was real. Not until they'd got some sleep, and checked the damages on their peg leg, and collated the latest telemetry from the Snaktivator, and gathered enough sauce to last them through the rest of their Bugsnax fast, and… There was so much to do, and they couldn't let themself get distracted. They would have all the things they'd been promised by their hallucination, or the unrecorded Snakmatter phenomenon, or whatever it was, and if they had to, they'd achieve it all on their own. They couldn't wait around for anybody else to give it to them. Not even themself.

#Bugsnax #Flooftober #Floofty Fizzlebean #fanfiction #Shwoo's writing #I really like this one #I spooked myself writing this so I hope that comes through in the writing #And made myself sad with what exactly Floofty is being tempted with #They're still going to do silly stuff like swear in the name of science though

[funkbun]

📂

Snaxsquatches were created by snakqueens in order to watch over and interact with grumpuses and the outside world while they're in the Undersnax.

The Desert Queen (Queen 2) was the first one to create snaxsquatches. She created them with a limited amount of snax so they'll be easy to recreate. They existed to watch over grumpuses and send important messages to different leaders (she does some ytp sentence mixing shit but with the bugsnax voices in order to make them speak lol). Ignore the teeth don't worry about the teeth, smile.

Lizbert's snaxsquatches were very sloppily made compared to Queen 2's, with a bunch of different snax mushed together until it was able to move around. And while it does have a more grumpus-y shape, it's very unstable and would fall apart after a while above ground. You can't really blame the quality of them, though, because Liz was in a very desperate situation.

Queen 1 didn't make any snaxsquatches, every single bugsnax basically served that purpose for her.

#excuse to finally draw the snaxsquatch #askums 2 #bug game #snakqueens

[scrappedtogether]

EDIT: Wrote this back before there were physical copies released! But yeah! Happy we got the DVD eventually 🥳🥳🥳

Not saying I watched a pirated copy of Scooby Doo and Krypto Too but supposing I did, here were my thoughts. 😅 Spoilers!

Things I Loved: :)

* Fred was literally 🥺 this whole movie

* The VAPHNE in this movie omg. the Daphne saving Velma and the little exchange with Velma saying Daph could be Wonder Woman and her saying Velma is more like Wonder Woman. OBSSESSED

* The way the Gang was so cute with Krypto. Fred scratching him, Daph’s little kiss at the end, Velma patting his back.

* The Krypto & Scoob friendship was !!!

* Krytpo’s cute little round little face and his eyes

* The framing of so many shots with Daph in them, esp the shot with the batarang

* I liked the opening song a lot

* REX RUTHOR RAT’S RIGHT

* RATS RIGHT. RAND

* Daphne having extra Scooby Snax

* Fred trying so hard to impress Daphne and her trying to be put out but she just finds him so adorable and how flirty the whole locker room scene was and IMSCREAMING rn

* Shaggy’s archery skills <3 and not abandoning Scooby

* Daphne’s cute exasperated “Freddie…” 🥹

* Scooby landing in Daphne’s arms after he fell and then later him in Daphne’s arm and Shaggy in Velma’s

* The Fraphne cheek kiss and the hands 🥰

* Fred in Daphne’s arms. MY HERO

* Velma putting her chin in her hands after hacking in the computer while being so :3

* The Gang (I think Daph) offering to give Lex a dollar…😡 mY BiLlS aRe PeRfeCtlY CrIsP

* Fred offering to drop Lex off someplace (he’s so nice guys I just 💙🧡💙)

* Fred getting low key annoyed when the Valet was smooching the Mystery Machine

* Scooby and Shaggy’s costume swaps were cute in this <3

* Lex’s alternative villain monologue

Other Things

* Feel like the opening intro to Metropolis may have gone on a bit long. It was very cool to see all of Superman’s baddies but considering some of them didn’t come back (a few I don’t think even got properly introduced/name dropped like Brainiac) I think they could have cut it a bit 🤏

* Wish there was more time with the JLA esp. Superman!!! Totally a bias thing but I just love them and it would have been fun to get a few more scenes between Krypto & Superman I think

* Not a critique but I was very curious why Krypto didn’t speak in this movie

* The end fight scene may have also gone on a smidge too long but there were a lot of great moments

Overall, enjoyed it and bummed it likely will never get a full release and the people who put so much into this film will never get their deserts for it. :/ What’d you guys think?

#brb gotta go rewatch Krypto the Superdog 👋 #Krypto Too #thoughts

[dana-is-snax]

do you know what happens when as a father you aren't fathering the way you should father?

your child will be obsessed with irondad and spiderson!

#irondad and spiderson #tony stark #peter parker #snax speaks

[snax-writes]

happy new year! i wish you all the best,

snax

#snax speaks

[flooftyfizzlebeans]

do you think that bugsnax "speak" because they retain the voices of the grumpuses they used to be (idk if I'm the first to come up with this theory lol)

at the very least, the bugsnax use the funny voices becuase it's cute and makes the snax seem more appealing. plenty of things can speak without specific mouthparts... but obviously snaktooth CAN use the stuff salvaged from past meals.

i dunno, it depends on how much you think survives after grumpuses die to snakification... it doesn't really matter too much where the voices come from, but i think you could build a story out of a bugsnak kinda sounding like bronica or something.

#soph talking bugsnax #bugsnax #bugsnax theory

[iceskatingcandian]

Prank time!

Axlerod - He'd help you play a prank on Zündapp because he ate his snax

- Will love spending time with you in general and enjoys coming up with a plan.

- The prank was you to [as cliche as it is] smack a handful of shaving cream onto Zündapp face and hood

- let's just say Zündapp chased you two and you had to hop onto and cling for dear life to Axlerod as he drove away full speed

- both of you were laughing kinda hard because well, Zündapp's face and hood was red in anger and cover in shaving cream and he's so cute lmao

- Zündapp ended up finding you two later though but it was worth it!

Zündapp - hides a fake tarantula on a string and waits for you to go into a certain room

- when you're finally there he lowers the string slowly and then drops it on your shoulder

- all of it was perfectly and streatigicly planned to get you back for smacking shaving cream on his face.

- will apologize later because he knows he nearly put you in cardiac arrest

- reeder ded

Grem and Acer - let's face it, these two are practically brothers and would do pretty much anything together

- including pranks!

- So they sent off in search for you and finally did, then they asked you of you could help them preform a revenge prank on Ivan.

- you agreed and they set it up

- so the prank was you would go up and flirt with Ivan then you would lure him through a certain doorway and dumped water all over him

- did I mention they yelled "let's see how you like trying to swim!"?

Finn Mcmissile - he's not one for pranks

- but if he ever does they're mostly harmless and cute ones

- like one time he replaced your wooden spoon with a cardboard one [somehow]

Jackson Storm - HUGE PRANKSTER

- his pranks can be brutal and or harsh and out going

- one time he replaced your Shampoo with [least fav colour] hair dye that didn't come out for several months

- and another time he put a milked [luckily] Rattlesnake on you whilst you were resting your gorgeous eye lids

- but after every one of his pranks he makes sure you're okay, and not you know...ded or dying

- he apologizes after every one of them like the kind hearted man he's trying to be

Max Schnell - sometimes this precious man will play a "harmless" prank

- he'll just pop in out of nowhere to scare you and once you were like "AAAaahh! Stoop I almost dropped my croissant!"

- sometimes in the middle of conversations between you two or just randomly hell just start speaking German to you

- he knows you know little to none

- but this precious man will try to teach you German [unless you already know it fluently]

Holly Shiftwell - similar thing, she knows a lot of Japanese because well, she's stationed there

- so she'll just start speaking Japanese to you leaving you in the dark as to what she's saying lmao

- other than that though she's a lot like Finn, she doesn't really tend to do pranks

- she'll only do minor ones sometimes they make you laugh

Mater - this man is the definition of adorable and wholesome this manz could NeVeR

- he'll only do playful pranks such as making you cling to him for dear life as he's running or I should say driving away from Frank because he's out late Tractor Tipping again

Lighting McQueen - this man has some stuff up his sleeves and this manz is sLiCk AsF

- he'll try to embarass you with strict limits of course now doesn't want to ruin your life

- he retricts himself to only embarass you in minor ways like make you stutter or say something dumb lmao

- Lightning will sometimes have you join him with pranking Mater by putting a blue glowing lamp on his tow hook [anyone get the reference? Ghostlight?]

- you'll prank him back sometimes and you two will once in a while have a 'Prank War to see who can prank most people in the most creative ways

Sally Carerra - she's nice, she'll have you join her in messing with the Sheriff and Lightning because you both think it's funny

- sometimes she'll harmlessly prank you when you're sad because she knows you well enough to know what you think is funni

I can take requests!

#humour #miles axlerod #cars disney #Pranks #fun #adorable #wholesome #Grem #acer #jackson storm #Mater #sally carrera #holley shiftwell #finn mcmissile #Zündapp #max schnell #Lightning McQueen

[solarianradiance]

“Whoop!” The Peppermint looking Ice King hopped down from the top of the waterfall, sticking the landing. “Huzzah! Touch Down!” He then approached the pair, waving at them like they were friends, which they were not. “Howdy kiddos what’s the haps?! This a picnic?! Please say yes, cuz I forgot my trail mix back at the castle and I have got the munchies like ya would not believe.”

“Uh... who’s this, your friend?” Finn asked the Princess.

“NO!” Bubblegum said with venom. “That’s Ice King and he ain’t no friend of mine!”

“Oh Bubble baby, c’mon, don’t be like this, especially in front of the kids!” The Ice King retorted. “You’re gonna traumatize em!”

“NO! DAAA-” The Princess was about to swear again, but after side-eyeing Finn she course corrected. “-NG-GUM... V-VARMINT! Speaking of which, it’s high time I took you out like one.”

The Princess readied her Flamer, setting it to full blast, prepared to take the Ice Kings life. Then she remembered the Crown upon his head, HER crown. She lowered her flamethrower and sighed in livid frustration. She couldn’t risk damaging the Gem. She suspected it would be able to survive anything due to being a Magical Artifact of great power unto itself but did not want to risk it.

“First, GIVE ME THE HEL-HECK BACK MY CROWN!!!”

“What? Oh this?! ZONK NO! It’s mine! I found it and it makes me look regal as heck but in a subtle way, like I’m 500 and boyish again!”

“W-WHA-... Glob, give me strength.” Bubblegum said as she rubbed her hand into her face. She was so tired of his shenanigans that she was starting to lose her flavor. What was she going to have to do to get some peace, sacrifice a lamb?

“But seriously, you got any food? I’m starving!” Asked the Ice King.

“I ain’t gonna feed you, ya mangey... moon mongler!” Said the Princess, who considered torching the Lunatic as Finn walked past her. “What are you-”

“Here!” Finn offered up pair of bagged snax. “Would you like Chips or Cookies?!”

“Oh! Uh... thanks kid!” He said as he took both and opened them up to start chowing down on the unhealthy remedy for the Munchies.

“Hah! Good choice bro!” Finn said with a cheerful admiration.

“Oh. My. Flipping. GLOB!” Shouted Bubblegum. “WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!”

“Hole up for a sec!” Finn said hoping for patience.

A giggle could be heard from the trees above, Bubblegum and Finn, both barely heard it, but it was there. But neither paid it any mind, assuming it was a bird.

“So... Ice King...” Finn began.

“Yeah, what you want kid?” The old man said in a grouchy grandpa way as he munched on some chips. “If its the snax back ya ain’ gettin em! Cuz they’re mine, see!” He said as he opened his gob showing what he munched on.

“Hehe, gross!” Finn commented, retaining a warming, gentle smile, which the Ice King took notice of, but remained cautious. “Listen, can you be a good neighbor and let my friend over there have that crown hers back? It would mean a real ton to her and stuff.”

“Pffft-hah... dork.” Said a hushed, muffled, breathy unseen voice.

Finn looked around but spotted nobody. He felt a sense of confusion, because he swore he heard somebody but retained his focus on the now.

“Hmmm...nah!” He said as he stuffed his maw. “I mean wafs-shinnit fa me!?”

“Uh... I dunno, what do you want? A hug?!” Finn offered. “I can give mega good hugs! See! Watch!” Finn hugged himself, looking all silly and ridiculous. Yet he was also wholesome and endearing at the same time. Bubblegum felt a smile crack at the sight, as did the other person that invisibly floated behind the Ice King.

“See!” Said Finn. “Mega good hug! Gimme that crown and I’ll give ya one a-these, just like a Gwandson to his Gwampapa~”

“Hmmm...nom!” The Ice King of the Crimson Red said as he took another bite of cookie, contemplating the boys offer. He did like the idea of being hugged by a total stranger claiming to be his Grandson.

“Okay! Counteroffer! I’ll give you this cute crown upon my handsome brow, in exchange for a hug... from Princess Bubblegum!!! Deal?!” He said with a wicked cookie eating grin as if he had made an offer of the century.

“NO!” Shouted Bubblegum with spicy venom. “AIN’T NO WAY I’M-”

“Deal!” Said Finn with great enthusiasm. “I’ll even throw in a hug from me! Now gimme the crown and she’ll give you the hug!”

“Okie dokie!” Said the Red Ice King as he granted Finn his desire, plucking the cute tiara off of his own head and planting it onto Finn’s head. “I’ll collect my prize... riiiiight after I finished these, scrumptious cookies!” He stuffed a cookie into his mouth and began to chew the treat. “Mmm, succulent soft baked. Ho-ho, boy do I remembah~”

“Cool! Thanks!” Finn paced his way over to Bubblegum, whose mouth was open in disbelief. Finn’s trick actually worked somehow.

“Princess, meet crown! Crown, meet Princess! Here ya go!” Finn offered the item to the Lady, who simply stared at him as if this was some sort of dream or illusion. “...Uh, take it? It’s not gonna bite ya! I think. That would be kinda cool in a real wack-a-doodle manner, but I don’t think something like that’s gonna happen!”

Bubblegum snapped back to reality at his comment, giving a mild snort at the absurdity of it all. She plucked the crown out of the boys' hands and planted it back on her temple where it belonged.

“Thank you... Fffinn! I...” She said trying to find the words. “I... appreciate what you did!” She then put on a smile, a slightly fake one, the Princess had business to tend to and did not want the innocent child to see it. “Now, could you please run along to the castle and get more help for me please! It’s really super urgent!” She said, hoping he would listen.

“Yeah fosure! Right after you hug that guy and I’ll be on my way!” He replied giving thumbs up with his tongue out and a smile.

This was the exact thing she did not want to hear and her slightly fake smile became a slightly more fake one. “N-...no I am... not going to hug him.” She said as her facade cracked a little with a tinge of disgust in her words.

“Hehehe, sure you are, a deal is a deal!” Finn said without skipping a beat. “Princesses always keep their ends of the bargains!”

“I... DIDN’T agree to hug him.” She said with clear anger. “Nor would I do so even if he was the last person in all of Ooo! How dare you expect me to fulfill a promise that YOU made!?”

Finn sensing the Princesses disdain felt a bit dour. He was a Boy of his word, but he also did not mean to overstep his boundaries.

“U-uh...u-u-umm... I-I’m sorry, I just... wanted to help and stuff!” He said with a timid voice. “B-but what’s wrong the red guy anyways?! Sure, he’s kinda weird and gross, but what’s one hug for him helpin to find your cr-?”

“HE’S A FLIPPIN LUNATIC THAT’S BEEN HARASSING ME FOR YEARS, KID!!!” She yelled with a viciousness comparable to that of an enraged Tiger.

“F-for realsies?” Finn asked, shaken slightly by the unexpected tone of the Adult. It wasn’t something Finn was used to seeing. Even the unseen 4th person that floated around had never seen Bonnie like this.

“YEAH! FOR ‘REALSIES!” She shouted. “He has been going around, kidnapping Princesses like me, like some twisted demented creep who doesn’t take no for an answer! So no! I am NOT hugging him! Instead...” She lifted up her flamethrower and shot a brief stream up into the air. “I am going to burn him to death!”

Finn gasped at the idea, the boy glancing back at the old man in red, obliviously enjoying the snacks he gave him.

“So if you don’t want to be traumatized while I bake his cake, I suggest you obey my command and walk away while you can. Otherwise, I’ll help you find a therapist.” She said in a voice most bitter. This is not a situation she wanted, but she was done being patient. She set the flamer to full blast and took aim. “So move aside! I got a problem to solve.”

The person that floated above them was in a state of shock and disbelief, a hot rage and a cold pain filled her body, her arms, her legs, her chest. She did not want this to happen, but now it was out of her hands to prevent. She lifted her Bass Axe over her, read to bring it down upon her old friend to protect an even older one. As she did this, ice cold tears welled up in her eyes as she prepared to do the hardest thing of her long life yet.

“No.” said Finn as he stood directly between the Ice King and the Candy Princess.

“Excuse you?” Said the Princess in confused disbelief.

“I SAID NO!” Yelled Finn with a passionate anger in his voice. “I WON’T LET YOU JUST KILL HIM!”

“Uh, that’s not for you to decide, kid!” Spat the Princess. “His fate was sealed when he decided to try to kidnap me for the last time. Now obey my command or get scorched with him!”

“I DON’T CARE!!” Finn yelled. “You can’t just kill people just because they’re an inconvenience!” He glanced back at the Ice King. “I don’t know that guy, but as far as I personally know, he hasn’t done anything wrong! And as my brother taught me, I gotta give peeps the benefit of the doubt! So until I see him do something donkin evil, he’s a person darn it, HIS LIFE HAS VALUE!”

His last words caused both the Princess and the invisible Axe Murderer to slowly lower their weapons. They didn’t expect him so say something with such sincere... conviction.

“So, you’re... just gonna stand there and be cooked alive with him?” Asked Bubblegum, wondering just how serious he was.

Finn showed a sense of fear on his face. He did not want to die, especially at the hands of the Princess. But then he showed his resolve. “...If I have to, I will! Because that’s what heroes do!”

The Princess was taken aback by his answer. A child willing to put his life down for a stranger that had a bad reputation, even if the face of death. It touched her, his sweet innocence and naivety caused her to blink back to a time she had thought lost. Bonnie did not want to hurt Finn, she wanted to protect him, causing her to lower her weapon even more.

“We don’t have to kill him! Or fight each other! We can, talk it out maybe? I dunno!” Finn offered, hoping the Princess would see it his way. “I got the crown back with snax, didn’t I?”

“You...” The Princess hesitated, she was still afraid of the Ice King and being wrong. “I... don’t trust you... OR HIM!!”

“Well... I trust you!” Said Finn.

“WHAT?!” Said Bonnie. “But we JUST met! You don’t even KNOW me!!”

“Why not though? You’re Princess and you haven’t done anything wrong, ever! So I trust you to do the right thing no matter what! Here, I’ll even turn my back to you!” Finn said as he spun around, doing as he said. “See?! Perfect trust! Ain’t no biggie!”

“WHA-WHU-...kid you’re crazy!”

“Why would it be cray-cray? You gunna do somethin evil?” Finn said as looked back, smirking.

“Na-NO! I wussent gunna!” Said Bubblegum as she blushed, almost as if she was a kid caught doing something naughty and embarrassing.

“Then it ain’t no biggie, see?” Finn said as he looked towards the Ice King, wondering what the big deal is with the guy.

The Ice King swallowed the last cookie and stood up, brushing off his beard full of crumbs. “All right, that... MMM! That was fattening good! Glad I found those snax!” He then belched. “Okay Princess! Time to go home, cuz you and I got a Wedding ceremony to catch!”

“Oh sweet! Who be gettin hitched, homie!?” Finn said, like the naive child he was.

“Oh, glad you asked!” Said the red man as he took his crown in hand. “Just Princess Bubblegum and her King that is I~”

He planted the crown upon his head and with it, a shimmering of magic all around him, his colors shifting, or burning, the red away and turning him in a variety of blues. His hands then flashed with white frosty light that was zap happy in its sound and he floated above them in a manner most menacing.

“Well.” Finn began as he glanced back at the Princess. “The-.... the Princess don’t wanna marry you, so... you gotta respect her decision, right?”

“Oh hahahahaaha!” The King cackled like a Madman in the moonlight. “Kiddo! Buddy! Her consent is of no concern to me! Now DIE! ZAP!” He hurled a bolt of freezing lightning that landed between Finn and Bubblegum, striking with such force they both were sent flying. Bubblegum even lost her flamer as she was made dizzy.

Finn was knocked down, but quickly got up with a groan. “DUDE! WHAT THE FLIP!? I WAS LITERALLY JUST VOUCHING FOR YOU!!!”

“Oh please, kiddo, I don’t need nobody vouchin for me!” Declared the Ice King with unironic confidence as he floated. “Not with these good looks and mad charisma stats! This Tumblin sexy man don’t need no wingman!”

“You were literally about to get a hug! From the Princess! Maybe. From me! DEFENINTLY!!!” Finn slammed his fist into his palm.

“Why settle for a hug when I can get MARRIED!!” He yelled as he zapped an Ice Bolt at Finn.

“NO!” Yelled Bubblegum, reaching out instinctively in a desire to protect the child.

Finn simply dodged it thankfully. “You’re gonna have to do better than that you old frostybuns!”

“Don’t you yell G-rated insults at me ya lil jumpin bean! NOW DIE LIKE A BIG BOY WORD!!!” He shouted as he launched a flurry of bolts at Finn again.

“NO! YOU-...Can’t...” Bubblegum yelled only to find Finn was dodging all of them with ease like he was a seasoned acrobat, performing flips and jumps as if it were nothing. “Wow, he is a lithe one. Didn’t think bear mutants could do such tricks.” She said to herself, actually impressed.

“Hold. Still. You. Little. You. Stale. GRAHAM CRACKER!” The Ice King threw bolt after bolt at Finn but could not hit him. Finn threw a rock at him, hitting his chest. “GAH!”

“That all ya got ya glorified kitchen appliance?” Finn taunted as he juggled a stone in one hand with his sword in the other. He then tossed the rock up and used his sword like a baseball bat and struck the rock at the Ice King, who dodged it. Well, actually, he barely moved, he just turned in the air to watch it fly out of the area.

“Looks like you just struck-GOW!” Ice King was cut off by Finn’s mighty foot to his blue face in a kick, causing him to spin in the air.

“Hahaha!” Giggled the young Adventurer. “This is too easy!”

“FINN!” Shouted Bubblegum, getting Finn’s attention. “RUN! RUN AWAY! NOW!!”

“What?! Why!? I’m totes kickin his tail all over the place!” Finn asked in disbelief as he did a little jig to taunt the guy. “Didn’t you see the way I decked him just now?!”

“He’s holding back Finn! He can easily kill you if he gets angry enough!” She explained. “So, run! Get help! NOW!!!”

“Nah, I think I c-WHOA!” Finn barely dodged a beam of ice from his opponent.

“You’re WAY outta ya league, kiddo!” Growled the Ice King. As he beamed a ray of ice at the child.

“You’re the one whose missing all your shots bozo!” Finn taunted.

“Who said I was tryin to hit ya?!” The King countered.

“Huh?” Finn said as he looked around. Everything was covered in sheets of sleek ice. But he didn’t understand the gravity of the situation until it was too late. “GAH!” He screamed as he slipped, hitting the ice, sliding a ways along. “Uh-oh” He said as he realized what it meant.

“Hehehe! Now you get it!” The King cackled in triumph. “Now for my prize!~” he said as he hovered over to Princess Bubblegum.

“Oh HECK no!” Bubblegum and Finn said in unison.

The Princess picked up a rock ready to rumble.

“Babygirl don’t be playin hard to get now! You know domestic violence is a poor alternative to talking it ou-OWHOW!” The Ice King took a rock to the nose, which he rubbed to soothe.

“I DON’T want to marry you, Ice King.” Bubblegum said. “I don’t want to marry you, I don’t want to date you, and I sure as HECK don’t wanna listen to your stupid songs about doing any of that stuff either! So please, for the last time, FFFLIP OFF!”

“Now now! No need for coarse language in front of the child!” The King Tutted. “They pick up some potty mouth wor-OW! All right, that’s it! When we get home you are gettin a timeout!”

“NO!” She shouted as he grabbed the Princess by the wrists and was about fly off with her, despite her protests of fists to his face, some which landed.

“UNGRAB HER YOU FLIPPIN FREAK!!” Finn screamed as he slid towards the pair on his belly like a penguin, rolling forward onto his feet and then launching himself head first into the Ice King with great momentum that it knocked both the King and the Princess into the shallow water. Finn then stood up ready for another go at him.

“EERRRRRAAAAGH!” The King growled like a beast. “WHY WON’T YOU STAY DOWN!!” He then prepared to fire another Ice Beam at Finn.

“Uh-Oh!” Thinking fast he ran towards the tree for cover as the Ice King fired his beam of Ice at him, starting from the Kings own feet, tracking towards Finn. It was much larger and slower than the last beam was and in it’s wake, left a thick rail of ice.

Finn however saw an opportunity, he ran up the tree as the beam spell finished, flipping at the crescendo and in the wake of the beam left a railing that was the dream of a grinder that Finn planted on, sliding directly towards the Ice King with speed and force.

“Oh fffudg-” Said the Ice King as he felt the full force of Finn’s kick to his forehead, knocking a daze into him as he landed face first into the shallow water. “Rrrrmmuugh” He groaned as he laid there.

“Wow...” Said an impressed Bubblegum as she had witnessed everything, which was the only thing she could say as she approached Finn. “You... y-you did it! You actually beat him! You defeated the Ice King!”

Finn panted, the fight taking a lot out of him. “Yeah! Pretty cool, right!? Hehehe! Pun.” He said with a thumbs up.

“Nobody has been able to do that since... Billy...” She said with almost disbelief. If she had not been here to witness this event, she would not have believed it.

“Billy?!” Said with a sense of distance. “I... did something here did too?”

“Yeah! He used to wrangle the Ice King whenever he got lose before disappearing. Always had a heck of a time doing it too!” Explained the Princess. “But nevermind that! Take your Sword and finish him off!”

“What?!” Said Finn like he had a little crazy in his ear. “You mean... like...”

“KILL HIM! Yes! Take your blade and cut his head off!” Commanded the Princess.

“ARE YOU CRAZY!?” Finn spat back, his voice cracking. “He’s defeated! Can’t we just leave? Or arrest him!?”

“No!” She said with a stern flatness. “Everytime he’s arrested, he escapes! Everytime he gets knocked down, he get’s up again! This whole shindig of him kidnapping Princesses and causing havoc? It will start over again and more suffering will continue! He needs to be put down PERMANENTLY!”

“But... but!” Finn said timidly.

“Finn... please... I don’t want to have nightmares of him anymore.” Said Bubblegum, putting on a sad face, bringing out her tears, hoping the boy would obey her so that she would not have to sully her own Royal hands with his blood while also having the detachment of the deed of taking the Ice Kings life. That way nobody could say SHE killed him. She just wanted the act done.

“U-um... well... I did give him the benefit of the doubt. I’ll... put him down.” Finn said, taking his sword in hand, his face sullen with oncoming sadness, approaching the Ice King who was still face down in the water, wearing his admittedly cool crown.

“Sorry bro, but you’re evil, I gotta do what Heroes do and... slay you.” Finn said as he and the invisible entity raised their weapons, prepared to take the life of someone who was unaware.

Finn with both hands on his sword stood there, frozen. He shook a little at the thought of taking the life of a defeated opponent, even if it was someone like the Ice King who just attacked him.

“Mmmmrm....mmmrmrm!” Finn hummed. “mmmmmRRM I CAN’T DO IT!”

This shocked both Bubblegum and the Invisible Girl, who lowered her axe as Finn turned to Bonniebel, lowing his sword to his side.

“I’m sorry Princess! But this is wrong! And I can-Huh?!” Finn tried to explain, but felt the chilling cold touch of something around his right wrist. Finn’s bolted around and saw it was the Ice King.

“GOTCHYA PUNK!” He shouted as a flash of freezing light enveloped both of their hands. Then he let go of him.

Upon his entire forearm was a block of Ice that covered Finn’s limb. “AAA!” He shouted as the cold stung him with mild pain, stumbling back away from the Ice King a little.

“HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAA!” Cackled the Coldhearted Clown. “That’s what chya get fer letting ya guard do-AAA!” Finn clocked the King with his frozen appendage. “MY SCHNOZ!!! YA BROKE MY SCHNOZ!!!” Yelled the Frozen Monarch as he grasped his face.

Finn stumbled backwards a distance away from the grazed King and fell onto his boy buns into the running stream. He too was grazed as he was coming to terms with his frozen limb.

“FINN!” Yelled Bubblegum who rushed to the boys aid. “Your arm!!!”

“It’s... fine!” Said Finn with a grimmace.

“NO! It is NOT fine! It is 100% not fine! It is ROUGH and COARSE! Because I should not have made you do that! Oh Glob!” She explained. She felt such guilt over manipulating him to do her bidding. “Look, this is just my problem! Okay!? Just get up and run! I won’t let you die for me, so-”

Finn place his hand on hers and looked her dead in the eye. “It’s okay, really! I promise that I will protect you no matter what, Princess! Even if it costs me my arm or my life, I will ALWAYS protect you! I swear it!” He said with a most natural sense of sincerity.

The Princess was speechless, he such conviction to his words and they were for her. Even though he was a bit unsettled and injured, he was still willing to protect her, even at the cost of his life. He was probably ignorant, a child playing hero, but she didn’t sense any sort of falsehood, he was dead serious. But it did leave a bit of blush on her face as it his words left her a little bit inspired.

“Finn...I...” She began in a soft voice as she held him.

“Need to SHUT THE HELL UP!” Shouted the Ice King, grabbing their attention with his invocation of an ancient Norse Goddess... with 2 L’s. He snapped his nose back into place and growled at the pair. “I... am... DONE! Time to finish this little game with a bit of a FROST NOVA!!!”

The King’s hands came alight with frosty magic and he spun his hands over one another like some sort of dance as he slowly floated upwards.

“OH NO YA DON’T!” Finn said in defiance, standing up rushing towards him to attack. But he was stopped as the Princess yanked on his free hand to stop his foolish bravery.

“NO! FINN!”

“WHAT!? WHY?! I GOTTA STO-”

“SHUT UP AND LISTEN!” She shouted. “His Spell that he’s about to use is gonna freeze this river and we’ll be stuck! OR WORSE! We gotta book it to higher ground, NOW!”

“A-...OKAY!” Finn agreed as the two rushed hand in hand to the island.

“WHERE DO YA THINK YOU’RE GOIN?!” The Ice King hollered. “Why don’t stay for some CHILL!?!?” He slammed his hands into the stream and came forth a great sheet of rock solid ice, stopping the stream dead. The Ice traveled with speed towards the Princess and her friend.

Finn glanced back and his sense of danger told him that now was time for a judgement call. They would not make it back on the shore in time. So Finn instead stopped the Princess in their tracks and lifted her above himself with surprising strength.

“FINN! WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU DOING?!” The Princess shouted in protest as she was lifted.

“Fufilling my promise!” He said as he turned around, stepped back and took a firm stance.

The Ice then hit him and he was frozen from the waist down. “GEYAAAAA!” He screamed with a shock to his system. “C-C-COLD! SO COLD! IT’S LIKE WHEN JAKE POURS ICE CUBES DOWN MY PANTS BUT A MILLION TIMES WORSE!!! IT’S ALGEBRAIC BAD!!!”

Thankfully the Princess was safe, Finn gently lowering her to the ice covered shallow river. “Are you okay!?” She asked.

“M-m-m-my boy bumps are goin numb, but, yeah? I think?” He shuttered in the cold.

“AAA-HAHAHAHAHAAAA!” The Ice King cackled in triumph as he floated closer with menace. “What’s the matter, kid? Where’s that spunky bravado you just had a moment ago? Did it freeze and die like you’re about to?” He growled in a low, threatening tone.

“Dude! Take a hint!” Finn declared, trying to hide his sense of fear. “You ain-GUH!”

The Ice King slugged Finn with a fist to the boys face. Blood had spilled forth from his nose. Not much, but just little, enough to show that the blow wasn’t just for show.

Ice King then planted his hand upon the childs face, to muzzle him. Finn looked into the visage of the Lunatic and saw him bear a demonic smile filled with dark glee, his teeth sharp, on full display.

Bubblegum never saw this side of him before, he usually was just a cornball idiot that was more like a harassing kidnapping clown than an actual threat half the time. He was actually... scary, she was afraid of him now.

“Ya really should stayed down ya lil bastard.” Ice King said with a snow demons grin. He lifted his free hand into the air above his head, looking like claw about to come down, alight with crackling ice magic. “Now you’re about to be a frozen carcass. Any last words?”

Ice King lifted his hand off the boys mouth. Finn looked into the eyes of his soon-to-be killer and saw a genuine curiosity in them.

“I-...” Finn began. “I guess I always knew I’d go out saving somebody.”

“HAH!” The King laughed. “Nobody chooses how they go, kid.”

As he was about to land the killing blow, Ice King felt the hand of someone familiar grasp his wrist. “Stop.” She whispered, a desperation in her voice. “Please...”

“Huh?!” Ice King gruffed, he glanced back. But saw nobody was there, confounding the Royarch.

“WAIT!” Bubblegum shouted, getting the Ice King’s attention.

“Oh what now?!” Ice King moaned. “Can’t chya see I’m in the middle of turnin this child into a pint sized cadaver? Women am I right?” He asked Finn.

“If you let him go... I’ll...” Said the Princess. “I’ll...”

“Yeah? YEAH?! You’ll what?!” Ice King demanded.

“I’ll... I will marry you... Ice King.” The Princess said with a sense of defeat.

“Wha-, REALLY?!” King shouted.

“...Yes.” She said as she hung her head. “I will marry you, if you let that boy go.”

“PRINCESS N-N-N-NO!!!” Finn protested.

“... Well hawt dang! Wooo!” Cheered Ice King. “After so many years, I finally got one to say yes! Who knew child murder was what did it?! Pretty sure that’s a red flag and that I’m about to get stabbed, but I’ll take it!”

“NO! I f-f-forbid this a-a-act of union!” Shivered Finn. “Esp-p-p-pescially when it’s on mmmm-m-m-m-my bhalf!!”

“Finn shut up!” Shouted Bubblegum.

“Yeah! Put a sock in it!” Agreed Ice King. “You ain’t gonna ruin this for us, no way, no how!”

“He’s right, Finn... we’re... engaged.” Bubblegum said in a dour tone. “That means this now has nothing to... do with you.”

“But Princess Bubblegum, you don’t have to do this!” Finn said with sorrow. “I promised I woul-”

Bubblegum planted her hand on his mouth to silence him. “You’re just a kid, Finn. You don’t understand what you meant when you said that. Even if we both believed you.” The two stared at each other as she removed her hand from his mouth. Finn felt a tinge of cold pain within him, like he failed her. She planted a kiss on his cheek, causing the boy to blush. “Thanks anyways though...” She said with a half a smile. But it only lasted a moment before melting into a sad frown. “Now go home, and don’t follow us. That’s a direct command from your Princess.”

“Hey can I get a little sugar here myself?” The Ice King asked, offering his own puckered lips.

“Uh... why not save if for the ceremony? It’s... bad luck to kiss the bride before then, right?” Said Bubblegum, hoping the idiot would buy it.

“Mmmm, yeah you’re right!” Ice King agreed. He then grabbed her like a bride and began to float. “We got all of eternity to smooch, baby! Hahahaha!!!”

“W-W-WAIT! Hold up! Aren’t chya gonna free him!?” Bubblegum asked anxiously.

“What? Hecks NO!” The King spat. “Why the skrog would I do that?! Sucka tried to 69 me! I ain’ gonna let that slide!” A snort followed by giggling could be heard from somewhere, probably the invisible person.

“I’LL 69 Y-Y-YOU R-R-R-RIGHT NOW YA J-J-JERK!” Finn threatened, the invisible person doing whatever she could to remain invisible and not burst out laughing like a psychopathic clown hearing the best joke possible, sounding like a deflating balloon.

“But you said you’d let him go if I went with you?!” Decried the Princess.

“Nah-uh my dear~!” Said the King in a sly manner. “You asked me to just let him go, nothing about when or how! Monkey’s paw rules, honey! You really should think about how you word or phrase things! Save you a headache in legislation!”

“Then the deals off ya butt!” Bonnie protested.

“TOO BAD! Cuz I hold all the cards! Most of which I dealt to myself! BY CHEATING! WITH A LOADED DECK! AAAHAHAHAHA!!!” The King laughed. “Here kid! I’ll leave ya with a gentle snow ta ease ya into that good night!”

The Ice King flew over the Boy. “FINN!” Yelled Bonnie as she rached out for him. “PRINCESS!!!” Finn shouted as he reached back for her with his free hand with all of his might. The two nearly touched hands, but missed.

The King flew high up into the air and spun around and around and around like a record, clouds gathering to him in a spiral, laughing like a maniac the whole time.

Then suddenly, he flew off, towards the Mountains of Ice, leaving only cloud and a mostly out of season dense snowfall from the clouds.

“PRINCEEEESSS!!!” The Boy shouted again, thrashing against his helpless frozen state, long after she and her kidnapper fled from sight.

Snow was falling around him, his breathe could be seen in the chilled air as he was tuckered out. He felt the sting of ice upon his flesh, numbing him as he began to shiver. But now he felt a new pain well up within him.

“I couldn’t help her.” Said Finn quietly as tears began to run down his cheeks as he began to cry. Then he felt something upon his cheeks, a cool hand gently wipe away a single boyish tear, snapping him from his mourning over losing the Princess.

“W-what the?” His eyes darted around trying to find who did that. Then he spotted an outline of snow floating in front and above him. “Who the kronk are you!?”

The silhouette jolted and then floated around Finn, the boy tracking the entity with his head. “HEY! I SEE YOU!!!” Finn shouted.

“Wh-HUH?! HOW TH-” Said the voice of a girl, who stopped mid sentence as she noticed snow was on her, revealing where she was.

“Did you just... touch my cheek?!?” Finn demanded, his face blushing in confusion. “Cuz that’s... um...” He wasn’t sure what to say really.

“Ugh, whateves.” Said the Invisible Girl as she struck Finn’s iced hand and feet with her axe, cracking them. “Laters.” Said the entity as it floated off towards the Ice Mountains.

“WAIT! WHO-O-O ARE YOU?!” Finn shouted.

“Finn?!” Said a masculine familiar voice.

“You can’t be Finn! I’m Fi- wait, what the skroobles?” He said in confoundment.

“FINN!” Stretched Jake’s head into Finn’s sight.

Adventure Time Presents: The Good, The Fair & The Beautiful. - Chapter 8 - Zalloj - Adventure Time (Cartoon 2010) [Archive of Our Own]

#adventure time #ice king #princess bubblegum #marceline #finn